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Kink & Showtunes #1
Their Troublesome Crush
In this queer polyamorous m/f romance novella, two metamours realize they have crushes on each other while planning their shared partner's birthday party together.
Ernest, a Jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive, and Nora, a Jewish disabled queer fat femme cis woman switch, have to contend with an age gap, a desire not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamours, the fact that Ernest has never been attracted to a cis person before, and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other, all while planning their dominant's birthday party and trying to do a really good job.
Ernest, a Jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive, and Nora, a Jewish disabled queer fat femme cis woman switch, have to contend with an age gap, a desire not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamours, the fact that Ernest has never been attracted to a cis person before, and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other, all while planning their dominant's birthday party and trying to do a really good job.
143 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 16, 2019
About the author
Xan West
49 books364 followersXan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, an autistic queer fat Jewish genderqueer writer and community activist with multiple disabilities who spends a lot of time on Twitter.
Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Their work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after”, and “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years”.
Xan’s story “First Time Since”, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.”
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing at https://xanwest.wordpress. com/.
Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Their work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after”, and “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years”.
Xan’s story “First Time Since”, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.”
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing at https://xanwest.wordpress. com/.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 133 reviews
December 22, 2023
Why is 90% of the synopsis pronouns lmao
January 11, 2024
Reading this book was one of the worst experiences of my life.
I would rather get a colonoscopy from a chain link fence over having to read this book one more time. I would rather get e. coli from a dripping dirty sanchez on a scorching day in Death Valley instead of trying to read this stain on the fabric of literature ever again. I would rather listen to David Dobrik's Luciferian demon laughter play on a loop as my ears bleed in some sort of Hellish vlog night terror I can't wake up from instead of reading Their Troublesome Crush. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if this author was involved in a ponzi scheme (allegedly). 1 star book.
I would rather get a colonoscopy from a chain link fence over having to read this book one more time. I would rather get e. coli from a dripping dirty sanchez on a scorching day in Death Valley instead of trying to read this stain on the fabric of literature ever again. I would rather listen to David Dobrik's Luciferian demon laughter play on a loop as my ears bleed in some sort of Hellish vlog night terror I can't wake up from instead of reading Their Troublesome Crush. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if this author was involved in a ponzi scheme (allegedly). 1 star book.
December 24, 2023
I read the excerpt out of curiosity.
I'm not gonna say anything except ask the question:
Why is the main character infantilized so much?
Very pedophilic of ya. Can't believe this person has won multiple literature awards.
I'm not gonna say anything except ask the question:
Why is the main character infantilized so much?
Very pedophilic of ya. Can't believe this person has won multiple literature awards.
January 10, 2024
I’m all about representation in the books I read. This is not it.
There is barely a plot. The characters are merely a collection of labels who never have a conversation past explains said labels to one another.
Absolutely exhausting. People do not talk like this - especially within their own communities!
There is barely a plot. The characters are merely a collection of labels who never have a conversation past explains said labels to one another.
Absolutely exhausting. People do not talk like this - especially within their own communities!
Read
June 13, 2019I love Xan West's books. They always feel like being invited in a space of warmth, understanding, and kindness, where everyone gets to be their amazing fat, disabled, autistic, queer polyamorous & kinky selves fully, without compromises but not without erasing the struggles that come with such things.
THEIR TROUBLESOME CRUSH has a demiromantic MC dealing with the realisation that he has a new romantic crush, and the upheaval and possibilities this open, and I absolutely adored Ernest's evolution through this storyline, how much discussion happens around different attractions, how he has other arospecs to talk with. It's incredibly validating and thoughtful rep, and there's a bit where he writes a love song from an aromantic perspective that was just -amazing-.
All in all, I highly recommend this.
THEIR TROUBLESOME CRUSH has a demiromantic MC dealing with the realisation that he has a new romantic crush, and the upheaval and possibilities this open, and I absolutely adored Ernest's evolution through this storyline, how much discussion happens around different attractions, how he has other arospecs to talk with. It's incredibly validating and thoughtful rep, and there's a bit where he writes a love song from an aromantic perspective that was just -amazing-.
All in all, I highly recommend this.
March 14, 2020
I've been reading romance novels to distract me from my anxiety surrounding this pandemic, and it's been working pretty well for me, especially with this book! I started it before going to sleep, and I absolutely had to read it in one sitting, just because it made me feel so much better.
This book was chock-full of representation, and it was honestly such a treat. I'm personally not kinky or polyamorous, so if you are, this book will likely work even better for you than it did for me. But I am queer and autistic, and I specifically really loved the autism rep. It made me feel very safe and very seen. Of course the queer rep was great as well, but I just don't get to see good autism rep very often, so this means a lot to me.
What mostly spoke to me in this book is just the sheer kindness that pretty much spills out of it. There's this wonderful found family, and everyone is so incredibly kind and considerate, and I really loved reading that.
This book was chock-full of representation, and it was honestly such a treat. I'm personally not kinky or polyamorous, so if you are, this book will likely work even better for you than it did for me. But I am queer and autistic, and I specifically really loved the autism rep. It made me feel very safe and very seen. Of course the queer rep was great as well, but I just don't get to see good autism rep very often, so this means a lot to me.
What mostly spoke to me in this book is just the sheer kindness that pretty much spills out of it. There's this wonderful found family, and everyone is so incredibly kind and considerate, and I really loved reading that.
February 10, 2021
Just the softest, most lovely, non-monogamous romance, complete with queer chosen family, non-sexual kink, own-voices autistic rep, and lots of trans joy! SWOON!
May 10, 2019
Boy how I wished this was longer and that I could spend more time in the world of these characters. I wish I hadn't finished it so quickly, but it was really, really hard to put down because every scene was a delight.
I also wish I could give a book over 5 stars. Maybe even 7 or 8. Their Troublesome Crush was just that singular in the way fat characters were described, how deeply the POV character's autism informed the narrative, and how attraction was described and approached.
I loved that Ernest's autism was so central to how events unfold. It was profoundly reassuring and meaningful to read about all the ways he had learned to conduct his life so that it worked best for him. I was a bit jealous, actually, of how he knew just how to deal with it when feeling certain ways. For example putting on a particular song and doing some movement, getting water, giving his brain space to process by doing a puzzle.... It seemed like he had gone through a lot of introspection at some point prior to the narrative, and probably a lot of trial and error, to figure our what works and what doesn't. Getting to read about him gave me ideas for how to structure my own life so that it suits me and isn't just a reproduction of how things are 'supposed' to be.
It also meant a lot to me that Ernest describes all of what he's experiencing in terms of how it feels in his body. That level of mindfulness and detail is something I haven't really seen before. Even though he talks about not being grounded a lot of times, he's actually super aware of what he's experiencing. I found this really helpful because it's something I need to get better at, so seeing him do it is like getting a model. Sometimes feelings, especially about other people, can feel so troubling and amorphous. Expressing them as concrete sensations can help bring one back into the body and the reality of the moment.
I don't even know what to say about the goodness that is Ernest's dynamic with Nora, except to say that her fatness is described in such open and admiring ways - it was beautiful and moving. The cover really helped with that as well, I had a really excellent mental picture of both characters. The kinks they shared, or at least the particular ways they manifested, weren't of particular interest to me. But the way they interacted and tried to communicate, get things right, and take care of each other made their scenes together an absolute joy to read.
I also wish I could give a book over 5 stars. Maybe even 7 or 8. Their Troublesome Crush was just that singular in the way fat characters were described, how deeply the POV character's autism informed the narrative, and how attraction was described and approached.
I loved that Ernest's autism was so central to how events unfold. It was profoundly reassuring and meaningful to read about all the ways he had learned to conduct his life so that it worked best for him. I was a bit jealous, actually, of how he knew just how to deal with it when feeling certain ways. For example putting on a particular song and doing some movement, getting water, giving his brain space to process by doing a puzzle.... It seemed like he had gone through a lot of introspection at some point prior to the narrative, and probably a lot of trial and error, to figure our what works and what doesn't. Getting to read about him gave me ideas for how to structure my own life so that it suits me and isn't just a reproduction of how things are 'supposed' to be.
It also meant a lot to me that Ernest describes all of what he's experiencing in terms of how it feels in his body. That level of mindfulness and detail is something I haven't really seen before. Even though he talks about not being grounded a lot of times, he's actually super aware of what he's experiencing. I found this really helpful because it's something I need to get better at, so seeing him do it is like getting a model. Sometimes feelings, especially about other people, can feel so troubling and amorphous. Expressing them as concrete sensations can help bring one back into the body and the reality of the moment.
I don't even know what to say about the goodness that is Ernest's dynamic with Nora, except to say that her fatness is described in such open and admiring ways - it was beautiful and moving. The cover really helped with that as well, I had a really excellent mental picture of both characters. The kinks they shared, or at least the particular ways they manifested, weren't of particular interest to me. But the way they interacted and tried to communicate, get things right, and take care of each other made their scenes together an absolute joy to read.
January 4, 2022
This is one of the cutest things I have ever read.
I have never read so much 'representation' in one piece of writing. Gender, sexuality, kink, romantic orientation, fatness, faith, disability, mental health, neurodivergence - I'm sure that's not even a complete list.
For such a short piece of writing, there is way too much explaining. I understand that many people found this educational, but I wish the characters (and the story) had a little more space to breathe.
Every character is unfailingly kind and good at communicating. I think if this was fanfic it would be tagged 'fluff'. I read it on a whim because of the words 'kink' and 'showtunes' (hello, my core identifiers) and I'm just not the right audience for this book: I need some tension, and a bit of - sorry - bite.
Did it rot my teeth a little bit? Yes. Will I seek out more by this (sadly deceased) author? No. But I am still glad I stumbled across it.
I have never read so much 'representation' in one piece of writing. Gender, sexuality, kink, romantic orientation, fatness, faith, disability, mental health, neurodivergence - I'm sure that's not even a complete list.
For such a short piece of writing, there is way too much explaining. I understand that many people found this educational, but I wish the characters (and the story) had a little more space to breathe.
Every character is unfailingly kind and good at communicating. I think if this was fanfic it would be tagged 'fluff'. I read it on a whim because of the words 'kink' and 'showtunes' (hello, my core identifiers) and I'm just not the right audience for this book: I need some tension, and a bit of - sorry - bite.
Did it rot my teeth a little bit? Yes. Will I seek out more by this (sadly deceased) author? No. But I am still glad I stumbled across it.
October 28, 2021
I'm very happy for all the representation, but I just felt like I was being Educated About Things the entire time, not being told a story. There were also an awful lot of characters Educating Me trying to fit into a short novella, and an awful lot of topics to be Educated about. So, I'm not sure who this is for -- for those of us who are familiar with the topics, it's kinda boring, and for those who aren't, I imagine it would be too much at once. But clearly the book has a lot of fans, so it's for someone!
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February 6, 2019Hi there, this is the author. I wanted to note that you can find content warnings for this book here:
https://xanwest.wordpress.com/their-t...
https://xanwest.wordpress.com/their-t...
January 19, 2024
This is perhaps one of the most disgusting, degenerate, filthy, sinful, vile books I have ever had the displeasure of coming across. Simply looking at the cover and reading the description makes me feel the need to take a shower in holy water. The physical copies of this sorry excuse for literature should be burned, the digital copies erased, and the degenrate author banned from future publications.
Sincerely,
Raymond Cist
Sincerely,
Raymond Cist
Read
December 24, 2025Christmas Eve book club. Don’t ask
October 17, 2021
I found the concept of this book interesting but unfortunately the execution let it down. It felt stifled by having characters interrupt scenes to explain concepts such as consent or different kinds of kink. I am in no way an expert and while I did learn a lot about polyamorous queer/kink communities, it felt at times like I was reading an instruction manual or a queer after school special. I wish West had really done a bit more showing than telling and used more creative ways to weave these concepts in.
It’s unfortunate because it would be great if this kind of diversity of characters and stories were more common. But perhaps use the forward to explain these concepts and just let the characters be as they are?
Read for Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge #7: Read a fat-positive romance and Challenge #8: Read a romance by a trans or non-binary author.
It’s unfortunate because it would be great if this kind of diversity of characters and stories were more common. But perhaps use the forward to explain these concepts and just let the characters be as they are?
Read for Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge #7: Read a fat-positive romance and Challenge #8: Read a romance by a trans or non-binary author.
July 31, 2021
When I first joined the Romance community Corey Alexander (who wrote as Xan West) was one of the first people to greet me and make me welcome. I’ve waited far too long to read one of their stories, because I wish I could tell them how much I found joy and pleasure in Their Troublesome Crush. The story of the crush between metamours Ernest, a trans man and service submissive, and Nora, a cis woman switch, was just lovely. The care and attention paid to to their needs and feelings was a place of safety.
May 11, 2019
Absolutely loved this. <3 Would absolutely love it even if I hadn't had the pleasure of editing it! So freaking sweet and validating, really funny in parts, wonderfully vulnerable and real and intensely relatable (especially to autistic readers, who definitely need more books like this).
December 25, 2025
Admittedly picked this up as a hate read and it did not disappoint
December 28, 2025
Well I kinda went into this knowing it'd be bad and that's on me.
Anyway...
This book suffers from the same issue I see a lot in books where an adult character is autistic. They act like a child, or like a doll to some degree. As an autistic adult I feel like I have a lot of agency in my life. People write about us like we're this daydreamy, silly infants masquerading as adults yet never truly able to be one. That's what this feels like to me.
Another thing this book suffers from is again, treating a minority like they're some sort of doll or animal. I'm lesbian, and I feel like it's becoming more and more common in "queer romance" to have a character basically monologue what being LGBT is. Like almost like they are turning toward a metaphorical camera, breaking character and then explaining what the hardships of being LGBT are. I think there are natural ways to bring this up, but this book isn't it.
There are monologues about the struggles of other characters and how hard the world must be for them. Then about the guilt for acknowledging said hardship "unconsensually." I'm going to be honest, it feels like this author just has a fetish for trans, fat, and autistic people at times, lol. The daddy kink doesn't help with that. It feels like an excuse to use the "born sexy yesterday" trope without actually using it, because the author knows it's problematic but doesn't know WHY it's problematic.
The way the author writes about fat people also makes me feel ill at times. I reads as a fetish, plain and simple.
It really felt like reading a tumblr post circa 2016 that thinks its profound but actually just horseshoes its way back to seeming like a bigot's talking piece.
Anyway...
This book suffers from the same issue I see a lot in books where an adult character is autistic. They act like a child, or like a doll to some degree. As an autistic adult I feel like I have a lot of agency in my life. People write about us like we're this daydreamy, silly infants masquerading as adults yet never truly able to be one. That's what this feels like to me.
Another thing this book suffers from is again, treating a minority like they're some sort of doll or animal. I'm lesbian, and I feel like it's becoming more and more common in "queer romance" to have a character basically monologue what being LGBT is. Like almost like they are turning toward a metaphorical camera, breaking character and then explaining what the hardships of being LGBT are. I think there are natural ways to bring this up, but this book isn't it.
There are monologues about the struggles of other characters and how hard the world must be for them. Then about the guilt for acknowledging said hardship "unconsensually." I'm going to be honest, it feels like this author just has a fetish for trans, fat, and autistic people at times, lol. The daddy kink doesn't help with that. It feels like an excuse to use the "born sexy yesterday" trope without actually using it, because the author knows it's problematic but doesn't know WHY it's problematic.
The way the author writes about fat people also makes me feel ill at times. I reads as a fetish, plain and simple.
It really felt like reading a tumblr post circa 2016 that thinks its profound but actually just horseshoes its way back to seeming like a bigot's talking piece.
March 14, 2026
This is the worst book i’ve ever read… coming from someone who is very woke and is also trans ftm like the main character. I literally called people to read excerpts it was so heinous.
kill-it-with-fire
December 26, 2023What in the ever loving we’ll have ALL the labels Cthulhu is this shit? Is this a book or a checklist? I want to go and vomit a rainbow.
June 16, 2021
Not your usual romance, but a thoroughly enjoyable one! It has left me thinking about so many things, and I just love that.
A quick summary: Ernest and Nora's crush is “troublesome” because it would mean a major shift in their dynamic, and both are nervous about it.
.
This book has a lot of thoughts and insight into attraction and aromanticism, two things that have been on my mind lately.
.
Here, Ernest parses the different kinds of attraction he has for Nora.
.
Romantic – yes he wants to date her and hold hands
Aesthetic – yes he wants to look at how lovely she is
Kink – yes he wants to do D/s scenes with her
Sexual – no he doesn’t want to have sex
This makes SO MUCH SENSE to me.
This is my second Xan West book and both were very good. Both dive you into a loving community, far from any I’ve ever known. West was part of the Jewish fat queer kink community, and both books feature characters part of that. West was also autistic, on the ace spectrum, and disabled, and so various characters have those perspectives as well.
.
So I got to read a great story, meet interesting people who get their HFN (Ernest and Nora do one date and one D/s scene, so it’s just the start of their HFN), and also learn about experiences different from my own? A win-win-win.
Detailed CWs are on Xan West's website.
A quick summary: Ernest and Nora's crush is “troublesome” because it would mean a major shift in their dynamic, and both are nervous about it.
.
This book has a lot of thoughts and insight into attraction and aromanticism, two things that have been on my mind lately.
.
Here, Ernest parses the different kinds of attraction he has for Nora.
.
Romantic – yes he wants to date her and hold hands
Aesthetic – yes he wants to look at how lovely she is
Kink – yes he wants to do D/s scenes with her
Sexual – no he doesn’t want to have sex
This makes SO MUCH SENSE to me.
This is my second Xan West book and both were very good. Both dive you into a loving community, far from any I’ve ever known. West was part of the Jewish fat queer kink community, and both books feature characters part of that. West was also autistic, on the ace spectrum, and disabled, and so various characters have those perspectives as well.
.
So I got to read a great story, meet interesting people who get their HFN (Ernest and Nora do one date and one D/s scene, so it’s just the start of their HFN), and also learn about experiences different from my own? A win-win-win.
Detailed CWs are on Xan West's website.
November 4, 2019
I love this book so much! <3
I bought it for a friend even before I finished reading it :D
During the story I kept going from 'finally, a book that's about (certain parts of) my life' to 'I wish this was my life'.
I bought it for a friend even before I finished reading it :D
During the story I kept going from 'finally, a book that's about (certain parts of) my life' to 'I wish this was my life'.
March 30, 2026
research for my novel ok?
March 21, 2022
J’ai commencé Their Troublesome Crush dès que j’ai fini Eight Kinky Nights : j’avais adoré et je voulais continuer de lire les livres de Xan West. Il s’agit cette fois-ci d’une novella, donc un récit plus court, écrit d’un seul point de vue : celui d’Ernest, un personnage secondaire de Eight Kinky Nights.
Le titre évoque un crush qui pose problème, et je savais que c’était une romance polyA. La seule version de crush polyA dramatique que je connaissais jusqu’alors, c’est le « oh non, je suis amoureuxse de deux personnes, que faire ? ». Ici, ce n’est cependant pas l’aspect polyA de la situation qui gêne : Ernest est déjà en couple avec Gideon ainsi que d’autres personnes, tandis que Nora est une soumise de Gideon. Toustes deux se mettent à passer plus de temps ensemble car iels organisent l’anniversaire de Gideon, et Ernest tombe amoureux de Nora.
Si le problème ne vient pas du polyamour, quel est-il alors ? En fait, Ernest est demi-romantique : il n’a pas l’habitude des crush, et ça le perturbe. En plus, il était convaincu de ne pas être attiré par les personnes cis ! Il n’y a toutefois rien de dramatique dans cette histoire, qui est avant tout très tranquille et très mignonne.
La suite de mon avis : https://elainevker.com/blog/2022/09/0...
Le titre évoque un crush qui pose problème, et je savais que c’était une romance polyA. La seule version de crush polyA dramatique que je connaissais jusqu’alors, c’est le « oh non, je suis amoureuxse de deux personnes, que faire ? ». Ici, ce n’est cependant pas l’aspect polyA de la situation qui gêne : Ernest est déjà en couple avec Gideon ainsi que d’autres personnes, tandis que Nora est une soumise de Gideon. Toustes deux se mettent à passer plus de temps ensemble car iels organisent l’anniversaire de Gideon, et Ernest tombe amoureux de Nora.
Si le problème ne vient pas du polyamour, quel est-il alors ? En fait, Ernest est demi-romantique : il n’a pas l’habitude des crush, et ça le perturbe. En plus, il était convaincu de ne pas être attiré par les personnes cis ! Il n’y a toutefois rien de dramatique dans cette histoire, qui est avant tout très tranquille et très mignonne.
La suite de mon avis : https://elainevker.com/blog/2022/09/0...
July 5, 2021
This was a really charming book!! Just soft, low angst queers falling in love🥰
Content Warnings: pulled these from the author's website! Detailed description of gender dysphoria, References to: being misgendered by family, familial estrangement, depression, being a survivor & managing PTSD, fat oppression, trans oppression and ableism. Brief reference to familial pressure to mask autism, Use of the term “queer” as a reclaimed slur, reference to the lesbian sex wars.Many references to BDSM, including Daddy/boy dynamic, D/s, service, bondage, and pain play. Depiction of service provided in the context of a D/s relationship. Depiction of a BDSM scene that includes bondage, D/s, and service (Chapter 10 only).
Content Notes: Ernest is a white, trans, demiromantic, queer, autistic, fat jewish man, and Nora is a white, disabled, queer, fat femme cis woman.
Content Warnings: pulled these from the author's website! Detailed description of gender dysphoria, References to: being misgendered by family, familial estrangement, depression, being a survivor & managing PTSD, fat oppression, trans oppression and ableism. Brief reference to familial pressure to mask autism, Use of the term “queer” as a reclaimed slur, reference to the lesbian sex wars.Many references to BDSM, including Daddy/boy dynamic, D/s, service, bondage, and pain play. Depiction of service provided in the context of a D/s relationship. Depiction of a BDSM scene that includes bondage, D/s, and service (Chapter 10 only).
Content Notes: Ernest is a white, trans, demiromantic, queer, autistic, fat jewish man, and Nora is a white, disabled, queer, fat femme cis woman.
March 16, 2026
Humanity has been successfully bureaucratized.
Every single social interaction in this book has a systematic protocol that leads to an expected and logical conclusion, eliminating absolutely any and all anxiety and fear that the uncertainty of the future might hold.
What is a love story if not for the wonder, anguish and mystery that love itself causes. What is love if the condition of the human soul cannot be questioned and revered at the same time.
The absence of a dialectical conflict makes this story lack... something? Everything?
If anything, this book serves as an excellent case study to deconstruct and analyze what makes a story art, and thus, truly human — or lack thereof—.
Every single social interaction in this book has a systematic protocol that leads to an expected and logical conclusion, eliminating absolutely any and all anxiety and fear that the uncertainty of the future might hold.
What is a love story if not for the wonder, anguish and mystery that love itself causes. What is love if the condition of the human soul cannot be questioned and revered at the same time.
The absence of a dialectical conflict makes this story lack... something? Everything?
If anything, this book serves as an excellent case study to deconstruct and analyze what makes a story art, and thus, truly human — or lack thereof—.
October 16, 2020
This rewrote my expectations for erotica/romance. The representation, constant communication and kink negotiations. I learned so many terms I didn’t even know I could apply to myself!
Rep: disability, autism, trans masc, trans nonbinary, queer, bisexual, Jewish, anxiety, depression, fat, arospec, diabetes, touch-aversion, D/s dynamic, probably more??
Rep: disability, autism, trans masc, trans nonbinary, queer, bisexual, Jewish, anxiety, depression, fat, arospec, diabetes, touch-aversion, D/s dynamic, probably more??
January 21, 2026
What possessed me i don’t know. I couldn’t tell you.
No plot. No conflict. The characters are all extremely self-centered and selfish, and no real emotions (except for self-pity) are present.
Non-sexual kink sounds like the most god-awful and boring thing one could participate in. Why can’t things just be dirty?
No plot. No conflict. The characters are all extremely self-centered and selfish, and no real emotions (except for self-pity) are present.
Non-sexual kink sounds like the most god-awful and boring thing one could participate in. Why can’t things just be dirty?
October 5, 2019
What a fantastic read. I really appreciated reading how Ernest stimmed and thought through his feelings and what he focused on when he needed to feel better. The same day I finished it, I was able to use some of the strategies Ernest uses to get me through a tough situation. I'm also planning to use some of the models of him conversing with others, to talk about my concerns about how I act in a situation.
I really liked the ways that Ernest knew things to do based on how he felt, and that he was able to identify the ways he was feeling a lot of the time, or if he didn't understand how he felt, things he needed to do to help himself. And I appreciated the open and honest communication that happened with the people in his life, and showing how things manifested when he stopped masking less. I was able to see myself in some of this, and see certain friends in some of this.
Another thing I really liked was
I love the ways that Ernest described Nora, and her bigness in a space, and the beauty in various things she did or said or was. And I liked the ways they learned how to communicate with each other. It was different with Ernest and a longtime friend versus with a newer metamour and they had to learn each other's communication styles, and they did that by explicitly asking and talking about that.
There's a lot that I loved about this book.
I really liked the ways that Ernest knew things to do based on how he felt, and that he was able to identify the ways he was feeling a lot of the time, or if he didn't understand how he felt, things he needed to do to help himself. And I appreciated the open and honest communication that happened with the people in his life, and showing how things manifested when he stopped masking less. I was able to see myself in some of this, and see certain friends in some of this.
Another thing I really liked was
I love the ways that Ernest described Nora, and her bigness in a space, and the beauty in various things she did or said or was. And I liked the ways they learned how to communicate with each other. It was different with Ernest and a longtime friend versus with a newer metamour and they had to learn each other's communication styles, and they did that by explicitly asking and talking about that.
There's a lot that I loved about this book.
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