Abidance: A Memoir of Love and Inevitability

by Lois Tschetter Hjelmstad

It is the precise moment in which we concede our transience that life and love become most cherished. Lois and Les had been married 64 years, still crazy-in-love, when they found themselves in a sudden transition from the category of active-old to old-old. This remarkable story of their next five years describes their ongoing effort to maintain their lifelong egalitarian love affair as they cope with health changes. Hjelmstad, in her lyrical prose and poetry, gives us a reare-sometimes funny, sometimes poignant, but always realistic--view of life from the parallel universe of the old-old. This is a story we rarely hear. It is a book for all of us, and a must for health care professionals with older clients.

180 pages, Paperback

Published October 17, 2018

Reviews

[Lisa J Shultz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reaching 70 years of marriage is remarkable and the devotion of this couple to love and care for each other to the ultimate moment of separation in this earthly plane is inspirational.
The author eloquently paints the picture of old age for the younger reader. "...living in the Land of Old Age is surreal. We are surprised to be here, unable to conceive of how we got here this quickly. The infirmities and inabilities of our bodies astonish us. The images in the mirror startle."
I appreciate the candid and truthful story of declining health and the decisions that accompany it. I gained more understanding and appreciation of the struggles of aging and health issues. I can suspend judgement and honor the struggle and the strength required to deal with end of life issues and decisions of the elderly.
The author mixes her wisdom and love into each chapter. Well written and carefully crafted to create a readable and impelling story.

[Richard Edgar · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many love stories are about young people. This is one about growing old together. The author and her husband celebrate their 70th anniversary near the end of the book.

I loved this book. I read it slowly, often going back for a particularly lucious poem, to see how it lay in light of subsequent events. And, truth be told, to let them age, together, slowly; learn, together, slowly, what it would mean the next time, and the next, and the next, that they came home from a vacation, or from the hospital.

I expected to cry at the end. But if there are tears, there is also quiet joy, and so much love.

[Jb · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. Such an honest portrayal of a beautiful love and the hardships of aging.