I Have No Secrets

by Penny Joelson

Jemma knows who the murderer is. She knows because he told her.

He thought his secret was safe because Jemma can't speak or move.

But Jemma observes all kinds of things about everyone around her. His secret is just one of them.

And when a new technology means she may be able to communicate and reveal all she knows, Jemma no longer feels powerless in the face of this deadly secret. It's a race against time before the killer acts again...or tries to stop her.

Genres: Young Adult, Mystery, Thriller, Fiction, Mystery Thriller, Contemporary, Crime

275 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 2017

Reviews

[Liz Barnsley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really terrific read that encompassed many things - but the best thing about it was Jemma who's character voice shone through the entirety of the story and kept you on her side from the very opening pages.

So she has cerebral palsy - she cannot communicate but has an active and intelligent brain, misses nothing going on around her and is also somewhat of a deep thinker. Living in a family of fostered children, all with their own issues, one day somebody tells her a secret. A murderer. Thinking it safe to toy with Jemma, to scare her, they don't realise that she may soon be able to tell..

This was a clever story because it plays with the emotions, shows very clearly what life is like for Jemma but manages not to be saccharine or overly sentimental. Then you have a murder, various snapshots of life within the household and a fairly fascinating study of the new and innovative possibilities opening up for people with disabilities.

It is a compelling and utterly gripping story that is fast and effective, I loved Jemma, I loved all the family even the rather difficult Olivia and you just get absorbed into their lives and their ups and downs, it is almost like living with them for a while. The crime elements are layered into the character drama and its damned addictive I can tell you!

With a strong, engaging and intuitive character voice, I Have No Secrets is a top notch young adult novel that will appeal to all ages.

Highly Recommended.

[Imaydahjr · Rating 4 out of 5]

اتمام
۰۰/۰۶/۰۶
۰۱:۵۲
با وجود سادگی و ضعف‌هایی که داشت، چقد دوستش داشتم ولی..!:)♥️
موقع خوندنش یه سری جاها غمگین بودم و درعین حال قلبم اکلیلی میشد..
اخ اصلا نگم..🥺

(چرا نسخه ترجمه شدش تو گودریدز نیست اخه که من اونو سیو کنم..)

«داستان درباره دختری ۱۴ساله به نام جِما هستش که معلول جسمی‌ه.. نمی‌تونه حرف بزنه.. نمی‌تونه حرکت کنه.. نمی‌تونه عکس‌العملی از خودش بروز بده..
ولی کاملا هوشیاره و همه چیز رو متوجه می‌شه!
داستان از جایی شروع می‌شه که شخصی بخاطر معلولیت جِما، با درمیون گذاشتن رازی، مرتکب اشتباه بزرگی درحق خودش می‌شه و زمانی متوجه اشتباهش می‌شه (کرک و پرش میریزه😂) که دیگه دیر شده و … »


حس می‌کنم ادامه بدم همه جریان داستان رو میگم😂
خیلی سعی کردم خلاصه اسپویل دار ننویسم!
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جمله رو کتاب هم جذابه!
«او خیال می‌کند رازش پیش من می‌ماند..»

اصلا آقااا.. این کتاب داستانش خیلی ساده‌س، حتی از رده سنی‌ کتاب هم حداقل ۴-۵ سال بزرگ‌ترم😂 ولی من دوستش داشتم!

«شاید اسپویل»

فقط عاشق اون صحنه ای شدم که شخص مذکور بُهت زده، نفهمید از کجا خورد😂 به معنای واقعی کلمه کرک و پرش ریخت..🤣
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«-می‌خوام رازی رو بهت بگم، می‌دونم اونو به کسی نمی‌گی!
او به قدری صورتش را به من نزدیک ‌می‌کند که نفس‌هایش را حس می‌کنم.
-اونا هیچ‌وقت منو گیر نمی‌ندازن.»

[Alice-Elizabeth (Prolific Reader Alice) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by one of my bookish friends Megan, so thanks so much for the reading rec because I was most definitely not disappointed with this standalone thriller! I Have No Secrets follows fourteen year old Jemma who has cerebral palsy and cannot communicate. We as a reader can hear what she is thinking but no words are spoken by her out loud. Down the road she lives on, a local guy has been murdered but the case remains unsolved. Until the murderer himself realises that Jemma is unable to tell the truth about the events. The vanishing of her friend and carer Sarah also rises alarm bells. After finding out about a new way of communication via sniffing, Jemma dreams of having her own voice and letting others know about what she has witnessed, during her encounters with the murderer.

There were some plot segments to this that I liked, such as the close friendship between Jemma and Sarah and the surprise result of a biological sister (not a major spoiler) but the interactions between them as well were emotional to read. The pacing flowed well, I was left satisfied by the end. One character who is Jemma's younger sister didn't show a lot of nice behaviour throughout the novel, which made me a little uncomfortable. This was such a good read that I would recommend to readers new to reading YA thrillers and those interested in representation for cerebral palsy.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved, I Have No Secrets! I read this book aloud to my six year old daughter after reading a review strongly recommending it for children six and up if there was an adult to explain any questions that may arise. My daughter and I had so many great conversations while reading and the days since we finished. My daughter was so empathetic towards the main character and really put herself in Jemma’s shoes thinking about how difficult it would be to not be able to communicate.

We were both absolutely captivated each night we read, I wont lie, I kept her up late so we could finish. My daughter told me she didn’t want it to end and once it had, she said she was going to miss the characters. I think that is a sign of a very good author who developed excellent, believable characters.

I Have No Secrets, could be read and enjoyed by anyone. I will be recommending to my grandmother who is 94. Despite this book being classified as young adult, Penny Joelson is able to capture and entertain all ages. I will be reading anything and everything she writes.

HUGE thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks for giving me an eARC of, I Have No Secrets, in exchange for my honest review.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

‘I Have No Secrets’ by Penny Joelson (2017) is a contemporary thriller aimed squarely at the YA demographic. ‘Secrets’ tells the story of Jemma, an intelligent young teenager, who has severe cerebral palsy, is quadriplegic, for the most part confined to her wheelchair and unable to communicate.

Jemma lives with her foster family – parents, a brother who is severely autistic and a sister with significant behavioural issues and her carer Sarah. The key to ‘Secrets’ essentially that Jemma is unable to communicate with the outside world – locked as she is inside her disability and her disabled body, whilst at the same time knowing, hearing and being told the (sometimes compromising) secrets of others. Along with this comes Jemma’s extreme frustration at being unable to communicate with the outside world, at being unable to tell of things that ought to be known. Indeed, central to the story of ‘Secrets’ is a murder and the fact that Jemma seems to know something concerning the possible perpetrator of that murder.

Joelson’s novel is certainly engaging, compelling and very much a page-turner – although my initial concern was that the basic premise of ‘Secrets’ was that the issue of Jemma’s disability could have been used as merely a tool, a gimmick, a USP – a device purely upon which provide a new angle on the YA thriller, in what could have transpired to be an unknowing, unsympathetic and misinformed endeavour. However, such fears were overwhelmingly unfounded – Jemma is clearly an intelligent, strong young woman and a well written character with a very strong voice and importantly not patronised in any way.

[AmBerGUR · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is absolutely brilliant!!

[Bookread2day · Rating 5 out of 5]

I Have No Secrets is a page turning debut thriller by Penny Joelson. The paperback is a must buy - must read. I appreciate Penny Joelson's writing with the quality of each character that really impressed me making me want to read on and know more about each one.

This remarkable tale is about fourteen year old Jemma who is disabled she has cerebral palsy and is confined to a wheelchair. Jemma is unable to move, speak or communicate in any way. Her foster family and carer do everything for her.

Jemma is extremely intelligent with an inquisitive nature, she knows everything that is going on around her and what people are saying to her, also she knows what her foster-brother and sister are up to, but she can't respond to them or tell on them.

Jemma's carer Sarah has a secret she is two timing with Dan and Richard. Dan is horrible to Jemma he tells Jemma if I was you I'd kill my self, he is so mean that even offers to help her. When a murder takes place it's Jemma who knows who did it. But how is she going tell someone.

Big surprises are about to unfold for Jemma.

[Christine Lucia Asha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really good story, really unexpected. I liked the build up and complicated yet simple complexity of it.

[PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps · Rating 5 out of 5]

**Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a free e-copy of I HAVE NO SECRETS in exchange for my honest review**

GRADE: A

Jemma, confined to a wheelchair and unable to speak due to Cerebral Palsy, is used to listening. People tell her everything, even dark secrets, because they know she'll never know. Her carer's boyfriend even tells her he murdered someone. When he finds out she may be able to communicate through a new technology, she may not be safe.

I HAVE NO SECRETS is one of the most delightful surprises I've read in recent memory. I expected a Disney-type story of a differently-abled girl who learns to communicate. Instead what I found was an often heartbreaking thriller. Like real life, very little goes smoothly for Jemma. She has similar hopes and dreams to other fourteen-year-olds, and likewise similar disappointments. Her family and carers sometimes let her down, because we are all occasionally let down by those who love us. People are imperfect. Nothing is easy, for anyone.

I loved Jemma's foster family and her special need siblings, who had unique personalities and relationships with each other and with Jemma. Each, including Jemma, has positive and negative traits.

The plot and subplots kept me turning pages as much as any thriller. I especially like the realistic arc with her long-lost sister. Penny Joelson could have taken the easy way, with a fairytale reunion, but she never took the easy way out.

I give I HAVE NO SECRETS a strong, strong recommendation for anybody over age five, though younger kids should have an adult to discuss any questions that may arise.

[Katie Gallagher · Rating 4 out of 5]

For more bookish stuff, check out my blog!

Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Fire for sending me a free advanced reader copy of this book for an honest review. A quick note that I’m a bit confused about the publication date of this book. As far as I can tell it was originally published in 2017 and is being re-released. NetGalley says the new edition came out September 1st, while Goodreads says it comes out November 15th. So basically you can buy a copy of this book right now, but I’m not exactly sure which edition you’ll receive. I also don’t know if the 2017 text differs in any way from the 2019 edition.

The premise of this book hooked me immediately: Jemma, a sixteen-year-old girl with severe cerebral palsy who cannot speak or move, learns the identity of a killer—from the killer himself. When her health aid goes missing, it’s up to Jemma to alert people to the culprit’s identity, despite the punishing limitations of her disability.

The language of this book is very simple and straightforward. If you are looking for a lyrical read, this is not it. However, there is a poignancy to this book; you cannot help but root for Jemma, who has little to no communication with any of her family members. Not only does she have a killer to wrangle with, but she is also a teenage girl dealing with a health condition that can cause those around her to treat her as if she is of less than a clear mind. It will be a long time before I forget the humiliating scene where her new carer treats Jemma like a toddler, rather than the clear-headed teenager that she is.

I also really enjoyed reading about Jemma’s family members. She has a unique family—Jemma’s two sibling are both foster children dealing with their own problems. I enjoyed the way her parents were written; her mom and dad are very supportive of Jemma, and they have their own personalities and flaws.

If the language of the book were a bit more lyrical, this likely would have been a five-star book. I found this book quite riveting, reading it in little more than a day. I knew next to nothing about cerebral palsy, and I think this quick thriller is a great way to gain some insight into the condition.

[Becky (sirensongreads) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rating 2 stars.

This was a book I was hoping to love more than I did. I didn't find this one particularly thrilling or compelling. I almost DNFed this one multiple times and wasn't really hooked until over halfway through.

I think one of the detriments to this book is that everything was overexplained to an annoying degree. If this was a middle-grade book, I wouldn't mind it as much, but as a book for the older YA demographic this book just talked down to the reader.

Honestly, the synopsis was just a bit misleading and overall the reading experience was just not enjoyable.

That being said, having a main character with a physical disability was something I was intrigued to see and I did like learning more about the technology that Jemma was testing, though I feel like a feel-good contemporary may have been a better way to inform the reader about this tech.

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This book had a lot of potential but was bogged down by poor writing and a painfully slow plot. The last 100 or so pages picked up, but getting to those pages was a bore.

[Ivonne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vielen Dank an den Fischer Tor Verlag, der mir das Buch kostenlos als Rezensionsexemplar zur Verfügung gestellt hat im Austausch gegen meine ehrliche Meinung. Auch hier bleibt meine Meinung unverfälscht.



Im Rahmen der Ausarbeitung einer Bloggeraktion bin ich auf dieses Buch aufmerksam geworden und war mir gleich von Anfang an sicher, dass es sich hierbei um ein ganz besonderes Schmuckstück handeln muss. Alleine der Klappentext verspricht so viel. In der Hoffnung, dass der Inhalt des Buches all diese Versprechen auch halten kann, habe ich bereits nach den ersten paar Seiten festgestellt, dass ich hier eine emotionale Bombe in meinen Händen halte; ein so gewaltiges und kraftvolles Buch, wie man es leider nur sehr selten findet.

Denn Jemma, unsere Protagonistin, hat eine Zerebralparese und ist Quadriplegikerin. Sie kann sich weder kontrolliert bewegen, noch sprechen. Das Buch, wie man vielleicht nun schon erahnen kann, gestaltet sich mithin ganz anders, als die meisten Bücher. Die Geschichte wird erzählt aus der Ich-Perspektive, doch da Jemma nicht sprechen kann, erleben wir diese Geschichte rein durch ihre Gedanken und durch die Dialoge, die Menschen in ihrem Umfeld führen. Denn obwohl die meisten glauben, auch Jemmas Hirnfunktion wäre durch ihre Krankheiten beschädigt, ist dies gerade nicht der Fall. Sie ist ein reifes, junges, neugieriges Mädchen, das gefangen ist in ihrem eigenen Körper, ein Mädchen, dass sich so gerne ausdrücken würde, es aber einfach nicht kann, weder durch Bewegungen, noch durch Worte.

Und genau deswegen bringt dies einige Menschen dazu, ihr Geheimnisse anzuvertrauen und ihr Dinge zu erzählen, die sie sonst niemandem anvertrauen, vielleicht sogar nichtsahnend, da die meisten glauben, Jemma würde ohnehin nichts verstehen oder wirklich wahrnehmen. Sie erzählen ihr all diese Dinge, weil sie wissen, dass sie sie niemals ausplaudern wird.

Doch was würde passieren, wenn sich auf einmal doch eine Möglichkeit für Jemma auftut, zu kommunizieren? Was, wenn eben genau dadurch nun doch die Möglichkeit besteht, dass die dunkelsten Geheimnisse fremder Menschen ans Licht kommen?

Und genau das passiert. Jemma hat ein Geheimnis, nicht weil sie es hüten möchte, sondern weil sie muss, weil sie einfach nicht die Möglichkeit hat, sich mitzuteilen und das treibt sie förmlich in den Wahnsinn. Denn bei diesem Geheimnis geht es nicht um eine Liebesaffaire oder ein sonstiges Teenagedrama. Es geht um einen Mord und eine Entführung und während die Polizei nach Hinweisen und Beweisen sucht, trägt Jemma das Wissen die ganze Zeit über in sich – ohne es jemandem mitteilen zu können.

POSITIV

Ich finde es unglaublich beeindruckend, an welche Thematik sich die Autorin mit dieser Geschichte herangetraut hat und mit welcher Sensibilität sie das Ganze angegangen ist. Sie hat ein unglaubliches Fingerspitzengefühl bewiesen, nicht nur mit der Wahl ihrer Worte, sondern auch bezüglich des Zusammenspiels der einzelnen Charaktere.

Und obwohl wir die Geschichte nur in Jemmas Gedanken erleben, hat die Autorin es geschafft, mit einem unglaublich ruhigen Erzählstil und kurzen, prägnanten Sätzen das Geschehen so intensiv zu beschreiben, dass man das Gefühl hatte, selbst Teil von Jemmas Leben zu sein. Penny Joelson beschreibt Sorgen und Ängste, Momentaufnahmen, Erinnerungen und Empfindungen aber eben auch Dinge, die Jemma nicht nur Freude bereiten, sondern sie begeistern und sie – auch wenn es nur für den Bruchteil einer Sekunde ist – ebenso fühlen lassen, wie ein 14-jähriges Teenagermädchen sich von Zeit zu Zeit fühlt, ohne die ganze Zeit mit den Gedanken bei der eigenen Krankheit zu sein.

Dieses Buch hat mehr als nur einmal ein überaus beklemmendes Gefühl in mir ausgelöst. Die Vorstellung, im eigenen Körper förmlich gefangen zu sein, alles zu verstehen und zu begreifen, aber in keiner Weise darauf reagieren oder sich irgendwie verständigen zu können muss der absolute Horror sein. Das Buch hat mich nicht nur aufgrund des herzzerreißenden Themas zu Tränen gerührt, sondern auch aufgrund der Vorstellung, wie Jemma oder allgemein Menschen, die mit einer solchen Krankheit, die dazu auch noch so ausgeprägt ist, zu kämpfen haben, sich fühlen müssen. Natürlich gibt es Hilfsmittel, doch in diesem Buch wird deutlich, dass es eben nicht allen Menschen möglich ist, diese zu nutzen. Selbst die einfachsten Dinge wie Hunger, Kopfschmerzen, der Toilettengang oder sonstige Dinge kann man nicht mitteilen. Man sitzt einfach da, bewegungslos und ohne Sprache und hofft, dass jemandem auffällt, dass man Kopfschmerzen hat oder das man das Gefühl hat, sich übergeben zu müssen bzw. dass man z. B. Ketchup verabscheut und dafür lieber Mayonnaise mag. Für uns ist es ganz selbstverständlich auszusprechen, was uns bewegt, was wir möchten oder was wir nicht möchten, doch was passiert, wenn man einfach nicht mehr dazu in der Lage ist?

Ich weiß, Mitleid ist nichts, was man gerne bekommt, doch ich muss gestehen, ich hatte Mitleid. Ich hatte Mitleid mit Jemma und ihrer Familie und war gleichzeitig absolut beeindruckt, wie sie dennoch den Alltag jedes Mal aufs Neue meisterten. Man könnte ja auch fast meinen, dass Jemma im Selbstmitleid zerfließt oder Jemmas Pflegeeltern dem Druck irgendwann nicht mehr standhalten und aufgeben. Doch dem war nicht so. Jemma blickte nie zurück, sondern immer nur nach vorne und auch ihre Pflegeeltern, zwei wirklich wunderbare Menschen, kämpften weiter und zwar Tag für Tag für Tag.

Besonders beeindruckt jedoch hat mich die Tatsache, dass dieses Buch trotz dieser schweren Thematik einfach so unglaublich viel Hoffnung ausgestrahlt hat. Jemma ist so ein hoffnungsfroher Mensch, der das Leben so nimmt, wie es kommt und sich über die kleinsten Dinge und Fortschritte freut, Fortschritte, die wir wohl kaum wahrnehmen würden, doch für sie die Welt bedeuten. Und genau das hat mein Herz förmlich zerspringen lassen vor Glück. Jemma musste in ihren jungen Jahren bereits so viel durchmachen und wird niemals in der Lage sein ein Leben zu führen, wie es die anderen Jugendlichen in ihrem Alter tun und doch steckt sie voll Energie und Tatendrang und Hoffnung und Glück und Freude – selbst jetzt während ich diese Zeilen schreibe, kullern mir erneut Tränen über die Wangen.

Und obwohl ich das Buch nicht unbedingt in die Kategorie Krimi einordnen würde, was man eventuell vermuten könnte aufgrund des Klappentextes, war das Buch nicht nur unglaublich emotional und herzzerreißend, sondern auch unfassbar spannend. Ich konnte es nicht mehr aus der Hand legen, musste die ganze Zeit weiterlesen, weil ich unbedingt herausfinden wollte, was es nun mit der ganzen Geschichte auf sich hat. Doch nicht nur das hielt den Spannungsbogen ziemlich weit oben, sondern auch die Frage, ob Jemma es vielleicht wirklich bald schaffen würde, zu kommunizieren.

Das Buch hatte auf der einen Seite eine unglaublich zerstörende Wirkung auf mich, auf der anderen Seite jedoch war sie so hoffnungsfroh, dass ich nicht wusste, ob ich nun vor Traurigkeit oder vor Freude weinen sollte. Die Gefühle in meinem Herzen haben sich widersprochen, keines von ihnen wusste so genau, welches nun die Oberhand übernehmen sollte. Mein Herz spielte vollkommen verrückt und irgendwann schloss sich auch mein Kopf an und die Tränen schossen nur so aus mir heraus; ich schaffte es kaum, meine Emotionen unter Kontrolle zu bekommen.

Das, was mich jedoch immer wieder rausgezogen hat aus diesem schwarzen Loch, in dem man hin und wieder mal während des Lesens versinkt, war das familiäre Umfeld, in dem Jemma aufwächst. Sie wohnt bei Pflegeeltern, zusammen mit dem autistischen Finn und der schwer zu vermittelnden Olivia. Ich denke hier zu sagen, dass in der Familie ab und zu mal ziemlich was los ist, erübrigt sich mit diesen Ausführungen bereits. Und dennoch ist Jemma umgeben von so viel Liebe, das sie mit den Händen fast greifbar war.

NEGATIV

In meinen Augen ist an diesem Buch nichts negativ zu finden. Der ein oder andere mag es aufgrund des sehr ruhigen Erzählstils vielleicht als ein wenig langweilig betrachten, doch wenn man das Buch mal genauer in seiner Gesamtheit betrachtet, ist es fast unmöglich, es nicht zu lieben.



LOHNT SICH DAS BUCH?

Absolut. Ich möchte euch allen dieses Buch ans Herz legen. Es ist nicht nur herzzerreißend traurig und gleichzeitig wunderschön und voller Hoffnung, es bereichert auch. Jemmas Stimme hallt noch eine ganze Weile wie ein Echo nach und es fällt einem unglaublich schwer, sich von ihr und dieser Geschichte loszureißen. Es ist ein wahnsinnig emotionales Buch, es ist eine wahrhaftige Achterbahnfahrt, die einen so durch den Wind zurück lässt, dass man gar nicht mehr weiß, wo vorne und hinten ist. Mich hat dieses Buch absolut beeindruckt, mich zu Tränen gerührt und mich zum Lächeln gebracht. Außerdem ist es – neben all diesen wunderbaren Dingen – absolut spannend, besonders was den Mord und die Entführung betrifft.

Ich bewundere die Autorin so sehr dafür, dass sie Menschen eine Stimme gibt, die normalerweise in der Menge untergehen. Sie schenkt mit diesem Buch nicht nur Hoffnung, sie gibt auch Menschen die Möglichkeit, die ebenfalls unter diesen Krankheiten leiden, sich mit diesen Figuren zu identifizieren.

Ich bin mir sicher, dass dieses Buch nicht nur hilft zu verstehen, sondern einige Menschen im Umgang mit diesen Krankheiten vielleicht sogar sensibilisiert. Es ist schwierig; es ist unglaublich schwierig und ich kann euch nicht sagen, was ich tun würde, wenn ich tatsächlich einer Person mit einer solchen Krankheit gegenüber sitzen würde. Wahrscheinlich würde ich mich dennoch die ganze Zeit fragen, ob ich alles richtig mache, doch dieser Einblick in eine Welt, die mir so vollkommen neu und unbekannt war, hat unglaublich gut getan und mich nicht nur zum Nachdenken angeregt, sondern mich auch dazu gebracht, mehr über die Krankheit zu recherchieren. Von mir bekommt dieses Buch eine absolute Leseempfehlung.

[Chelsea Hazlehurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who lives Cerebral Plasy, it is lovely to read a book where the main character has the condition, though I'm not as severe as the character in the book I found it very relatable. The story itself is unique and different. The main character Jemma is absolutely brilliant I couldn't put it down it was a fantastic read.

[Josephine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very surprising. I have never read a book like this one before, but it was totally brilliant. It is books like this that restore me out of my reading slump. Let's hope it keeps going on like this!

[Jypsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and Sourcebooks Fire for an advanced copy. I voluntarily reviewed this book. All opinions expressed are my own

I Have No Secrets
By: Penny Joelson

*REVIEW*
Imagine someone casually telling you they committed murder because they know you won't tell anyone else. This is Jemma's situation in I Have No Secrets. Jemma is 16 with severe cerebral palsy. Although at a normal intelligence level, she cannot move or speak. This makes her the perfect sounding board for any and all confessions. People tell Jemma their deep dark secrets with confidence because, who is she going to tell? Exactly. Jemma, however, desperately needs to communicate the identity of a murderer. Fortunately, technology becomes accessible that will allow her to speak. Will the killer silence Jemma forever, or will she tell the devastating truth? This is such a unique and profound idea to build a story upon, and I was completely absorbed in the story. Jemma is an excellent character. She is smart and intuitive and trapped inside her own body. It's a terrible reality to even contemplate. Jemma's disability doesn't make her less of a person, just a different kind of person, and she is vastly underestimated. This is an important story, and I'm glad to have read it.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I’ve been this way all my life. I can see, though, and I can hear, and sometimes people forget that; they don’t realise that I have a functioning brain. Sometimes people talk about me as if I’m not even there. I hate that.”

This book was a great read and a real eye opener.

Jemma has severe cerebral palsy and as a result she cannot move, only involuntarily, and she cannot talk, but her mind is very much alive. This is a very important YA crime novel addressing disability and yet in no way focusing on the limitations.

I have been guilty of looking at people with disabilities such as Jemma's and thinking that they can't understand, they don't see and they don't think. It's horrible to think that I've thought this but I have. This book opened my eyes as to the fact that people like Jemma are not brain dead and that they can hear everything and see everything too. I can't believe I was so small minded before. This book teaches a vital lesson that just because you look one way on the outside doesn't mean you are incapable or not intelligent.

Jemma is a very intelligent girl and I really loved her character. Her family was easy to fall in love with as well. They all had wonderful personalities and it shone through in the authors words. At times it was so heartbreaking with what Jemma was going through and yet she could never just say, this novel really makes you think and also makes you realise how your lot in life really isn't that bad compared to what others have to go through.

There is also a scene in the novel that really struck me in which someone is treating our 14 year old protagonist as if she is a small child. Assuming that her disability makes her small minded and juvenile. This really upset me as through Jemma's words we can see how humiliated it made her feel and angry, yet she couldn't say anything to make it stop. This was so important to me. Also that sometimes people would talk to Jemma's Mum rather than directing the conversation straight to Jemma, talking around her as it were. The novel highlighted some important problems with how we treat those with disabilities and I definitely think this should be heard more. At times it was particularly heartbreaking feeling the frustration as Jemma couldn't communicate..

"She looks into my eyes for clues. I wish they could give her some. She feels my brow, inspects my arms, legs and chest for rashes. Then she get the ear thermometer and takes my temperature. Hopefully once she’s sussed I’m not ill, she’ll work out how unhappy I am."

"No one understands. When I’m worried and I just want reassurance I have no way of getting it. Then my worries just grow and grow. Mum and Dad assume it’s something physical because it so often is, but all I want is to be able to tell them how I feel…"

Jemma is a beautiful character who I really enjoyed coming to know and seeing her character arc evolve. I think this book was great, I have never read a book from this perspective before but it has opened my eyes.

If you are considering reading this, do it.

NetGalley provided me this book in turn for an honest review.

[Evan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jemma can't talk. She can't walk, move, sing, dance, or eat. She can't go to the bathroom by herself. But she can think. And she can see. And sometimes, people forget that. They do things they shouldn't do in front of her. It's no big deal. Who is she going to tell, anyway?

Jemma doesn't feel the need to communicate, either. She was taught to blink "yes" and "no" when she was little, but then she got an infection, and woke up unable to control her eye movements. She never told anyone that she was a bit relieved at that.

"I have no secrets" is the first book I've read that feature a disabled person. Point blank. I thought I had, but I haven't. (TFIOS doesn't count.) And it was really hard to read.
Don't get me wrong - it's beautifully written. The lack of commas make the sentences short and easy - the way they would be if you were taught to read by your first grade teacher only to get a new teacher who didn't bother trying. It's also very honest - the kind of honesty that makes it hard to read. Take this passage, for example:

"I found it hard enough with the blinking. It was a lot of effort to control it. And all the questions made me feel panicky. I was used to watching, not deciding, and if I didn't respond quickly people either kept repeating the question over and over, which was infuriating, or just gave up, which was even worse. And of course nobody ever asked me the questions I wanted them to ask.
Sometimes I blinked by accident and gave an answer i didn't intend - I blinked "no" when mum asked if I'd like ketchup and ever since, for the last four years, she's stopped giving it to me. I don't like it on everything, but I really do like it on chips."

The book also mentions how people often talk to the carers instead of the person with the disability. I've done that myself, and I think reading this made me aware of a lot of things I didn't already know.

[Myra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not really sure why I picked up this book but absolutely loving it. This is a book about a foster child that is paralyzed and lives with a family that has also taken in other foster children with handicaps.

Jemma is very attached to the entire foster family including her live in care giver Sarah. Jemma adores Sarah and feels that Sarah basically has the perfect life, all except for her current "exciting but controlling" boyfriend Dan and her boring but sweet, kind boyfriend Richard. Although Jemma wishes Sarah would be honest and finally break-up with Richard, Sarah won't because she doesn't want to hurt Richard so she keeps on seeing both. Jemma has severe cerebral palsy and not able to communicate but is a very good listener and loves hearing about Sarah's love life and outings.

Everyone loves sharing their thoughts and secrets with Jemma. This includes her foster sister, her mother, and Dan. Some are little secrets but others are big secrets such as Olivia stealing her foster mother's money from her purse, Finn's hide holes, and Dan's admitting to killing Kyle. During all of these secrets, Sarah goes missing.

Jemma wishes she could tell what she knows but realizes she can't. She is eventually presented with a way to successfully communicate but will it be too late to catch a killer, find her care giver Sarah, get her foster sister Olivia some much needed help, and build a relationship with her long lost twin sister.

I love this book. I love reading because you are in the mind of the protagonist kind of like a fly on the wall. Well, that is more true in this story. Jemma, who isn't able to communicate, is able express her thoughts so well with the reader. I truly felt like I was part of the story. I felt everyone's pain and frustrations. This author did a wonderful job giving Jemma a voice and direction.

[Karina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jemma is 14 and suffers from cerebral palsy; her family know she is smart, but she is completely unable to communicate with anyone. People often confide in her because they know she can never reveal their secrets; this becomes dangerous when Dan, her carer's boyfriend, taunts her with the knowledge of a violent crime he claims he has committed...

A gripping thriller and a sensitive, empathic look at life from a different perspective, this is a page-turner that makes you think.

Perfect for fans of Wonder and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime.

[Fatima difarko · Rating 4 out of 5]

:))))) به موقعش مفصل مينويسم ازش:)))))))
فقط اينكه دلم خيليي تنگ ميشه واسشون:))))))

[Jonathan (Jon) · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐⭐⭐.5

𝙅𝙚𝙢𝙢𝙖 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨. 𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙧. 𝘼𝙣 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙙𝙪𝙡𝙩 𝙨𝙪𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙤𝙠!

This book has been on my TBR for a while now and I’m glad I finally read it. I really loved the premise of this one, it sounded so interesting.

We follow Jemma, a young teen who has cerebral palsy - quadriplegic. Therefore, she is confined to her wheelchair and is unable to communicate. Jemma lives with her foster family - including her brother who is autistic and a sister with behavioral issues. Because she is unable to communicate, she has a carer named Sarah.

Soon afterward we find out about a crime that’s been going on with missing people. The murderer tells Jemma that they did it - knowing that she wouldn’t be able to tell anyone… that is until a new technology comes upon Jemma.

I enjoyed the idea the author had here, I think it’s so interesting and different from other thrillers. While I loved the characters, the story was a bit underwhelming. I think I went into it with a different mindset. I was expecting more of a thriller, and while it was it also felt like a contemporary at times - which wasn’t bad, just not my cup of tea. I loved reading about Jemma’s thoughts as the readers were able to understand what was going on through her POV.

It was fascinating reading about this unique plot. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the ending, the twist felt too predictable and wasn’t too mind-blowing, but I did really love the characters in this one - well most of them. Overall, I loved the unique take in this YA thriller - I can really appreciate and understand what the author did and would still recommend this for a quick and short read!

[JANELLE || WHATSHESEEES · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was such a great book!!
I read it in one day and couldn't fly through it quickly enough.

I was first afraid to read this story because of its emotional impact on me, but it actually turned out to be a quite satisfying read justifying read for me.

It's a YA book and I think because of its genre it didn't go to its full potential. And what I mean by that is, that this book could have gone deeper. I wanted SO much more from the development of Jemma and Jodi's newfound sisterhood, all the way to the new computer system that knows allows Jemma (who suffers from Cerebal-Palsy), to speak.

It was a truly great story, and I felt myself wondering throughout this book, what it would be like to have Cerebral-Palsy and or know someone with CP. How would I react? I want to say probably much like Jodi (Jemma's sister) who cried, ran away, and was scared of facing her twin sister in such away.

Being adopted is something I could never imagine. Unless it truly happened to me. It's a profound thing when people like Jemma's parents have not only the best and biggest love to give but with that comes to their patience and in order to have patience, you have to put yourself in their shoes, and to feel what it is like to be so utterly helpless but smart and courageous at the same time.

This book is a truly great story, between love and loss. To be strong and tell the truth. Justice and Peace. I only rated this a 4 stars because I felt like the story could have gone further then it did.

[Meera · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book; however, the ending was a bit rushed. Wished there were mysteries to uncover, but I can see that it was meant to be character driven.

The last sentence killed me though; cringe!

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I liked: I thought the author did a great job of creating a smart, interesting protagonist with a severe disability and really getting the reader inside her life, her body and her mind. I loved that the parents were so compassionate and yet real in their emotions regarding the difficulty of foster parenting three special needs children. I liked that children with disabilities were portrayed with so much dignity and actually, at the very center of the story, when so often they are relegated to side characters and underdeveloped.

What I did not like: The writing. Oh my goodness, the writing was awful. I’ve read better 7th grade essays than this. I can possibly understand why it would be juvenile if the author was going for a teenage voice but even that is iffy. For as smart as Jemma is supposed to be, the “voice” makes her sound like a 4th grader. I’m not even just talking about the sentence structure which was bad enough and very lacking in variety. It was the simplistic, boring storyline and sometimes cliché dialogue as well. This is being marketed as YA but if it wasn’t dealing with mature content like a murder, I would say it should be classified as middle grade.

[Ellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars!! I don’t read many YA books, but this is definitely one of my favorites that I’ve ever read. This is more of a character-driven suspense novel than plot-driven. While I usually prefer the latter, I found Jemma’s character to be so compelling. I learned so much about what it’s like for those suffering from extreme disability, as well as what it’s like to be a foster child. Since Jemma could not speak, it was interesting to read all of her thoughts. She was such an incredible and inspiring character to root for! The book grabs you right in; it is easy to read and I flew through it in two days. I liked the fact that while it is a page-turning suspense novel, it also provides emotional depth. I highly recommend this one, even if (like me) you are not generally a YA reader.

[Bev · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. Jemma is a well-written character. I found myself getting frustrated with her. The mystery aspect was good but I actually found that I was more interested in reading about Jemma's everyday life with her carer and foster siblings. I really felt for Olivia ad I like to think that everything will work out for her, too.

[Cassie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this so much. Considering how much I relate to Jemma with her Cerebral Palsy, I almost cried at certain parts in the book. It’s amazing how much she grows throughout the story. The entire time I felt like I was right there with her. Amazing!!!

[Kasra Shahedi · Rating 5 out of 5]

عجیب و مرموز و شگفت‌انگیز.

[Allie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book all in one sitting and it has so many great qualities. I love the representation in this book of foster families and individuals with disabilities whose perspectives are rarely represented (let alone represented well) in books.

Jemma’s perspective draws you in and feels authentic. She is smart and observant and has a strong inner voice, with family members who fiercely stand up for her and her intelligence when she is belittled or babied by others. She has cerebral palsy and it’s not a plot device - she’s a round character whose feelings you can empathize with and relate to in the context of her situation. The writing itself at times is a little boring / can feel below the level of what I’d expect for a typical YA book (more middle grade language than the writing style of most YA books) but it didn’t bother me much - just wished it were a little more refined given we know Jemma is very bright.

The plot itself drew me in and was an interesting concept. Although there’s not a ton of action in this book, it brings a fresh and diverse perspective to the mystery genre (specifically YA mysteries) and was a joy to read for that reason.

I would recommend it more for YA fiction fans who also like a bit of mystery than I would for those expecting a thriller style mystery. But if you’re looking to add more perspectives to your YA reading list, this is a great one to pick up.

[Ashley Briggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone thinks Dan is a wonderful guy. Everyone that is, except Jemma. She knows the truth. Her family is blind to his true character, as well as her home aide and his girlfriend, Sarah. Wheelchair bound from cerebral palsy and unable to speak, Dan confides in her that he murdered someone and treats her poorly when no one is looking.
When Sarah goes missing, Jemma desperately wants to tell someone what she knows. Then a new technology presents itself, that may help her communicate, and help the police find Sarah.
•
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Definitely an unputdownable book! I soared through this one in a day because the suspense and build up kept me going all the way to the end. Very easy read and a perfect thriller for both teens and adults!
Fantastic story telling by Penny Joelson.
5/5⭐️