Before You Do: Making Great Decisions That You Won't Regret

by T.D. Jakes

Veteran preacher T. D. Jakes knows that the key to lasting happiness is being free from painful regrets about past decisions. In Before You Do, the author of Reposition Yourself teaches readers to restructure their lives to build and sustain relationships with the people most important to them. An inspiring how-to book from one of America's most charismatic spiritual leaders.

Genres: Christian, Spirituality, Christian Living, Personal Development, Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook

302 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2008

About the author

Bishop T.D. Jakes is the author of the bestsellers God's Leading Lady; The Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord; Maximize the Moment; The Great Investment; His Lady; Woman, Thou art Loosed (the film of which won the Best Film Award at the Santa Barbara Film Festival) and He-Motions. His daily morning show The Potter's Touch and weekly broadcast The Potter's House air on Trinity Broadcasting Network and Black Entertainment Television, as well as in Europe and South America. Bishop Jakes is the founder and pastor of The Potter's House, one of the fastest-growing churches in the nation, where he leads an interracial congregation of more than 28,000 members. He lives in Dallas with his wife and five children.

Reviews

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Making Great Decisions is written to guide readers into realistic expectations towards your relationships and researching who they really truly are. People will always reveal and display their feelings through their thoughts, words, behaviors, and actions. Bishop Jakes is a firm believer in asking the important questions and then weighing the response we receive in our relationships. Often times we fail to ask our dating partners the right kind of questions, then we are shocked when later they share their own opinions and ideas in marriage. It’s critical that we must accept responsibility for where we are currently in life and not to easily shift the blame to our parents or our spouse. Blaming doesn’t help our relationships improve it only hinders our personal growth process. One of the essentials before we date is to deal with our own hurts, disappointments, regrets, and pain from past experiences and relationships. Freedom comes when we heal and let go of the need to justify and reimburse our deepest pain. It’s vital in realizing that the new relationship can’t fix the old relationship issues. Don’t take out your frustration on the people who didn’t cause the harm to you in the first place! Bishop Jakes described that many people are wearing emotional condoms to protect themselves from future hurts and disappointments. As we get older it tends to get harder and harder to fall in love again. This book provides the fundamental keys for entering dating, marriage, having children, career, buying a house, and many other helpful tools. This book also contained twenty questions to ask before you get engaged.

I would recommend this life enhancing relationship book to anyone thinking about dating and is planning on getting married someday. Marriage is an enormous commitment that many of us don’t take seriously enough. We are all longing to connect deeper to a partner but we forget to ask the significant questions before we say I do. I do have just become words without meaning and we are failing to grasp the impact of keeping our word! Sickness and in health, rich or poor actually means something who would have thought.

I especially loved the transparency Bishop Jakes showed throughout this book. He compared the woman in the Bible having ten coins and she lost one coin to people searching for their marriage partner. She kept looking for her lost coin until she found it. Bishop Jakes helped me to see that it is perfectly normal to be honest that I do want a relationship. Finding someone to date and marry is a risk but it’s worth taking. Part of discovering a marriage partner you want is to research and study your relationship.

I immensely enjoyed the twenty questions to ask before you get engaged. One of my favorite questions was, “What do you expect?” Many times I am expecting that my spouse will be just like me and be interested in the same type of things or hobbies that I take pleasure in. Meanwhile, she is expecting me to act a certain way and I usually don’t even know she was expecting. And she doesn’t know what I’m expecting! It can be complicating but as a marriage couple you have to learn to describe and communicate what each other is expecting in your relationship. Another question Bishop Jakes shared was, “What are your ideas about sexuality”? Before reading this book, I never would have even considered asking this type of question before engagement. I would have waiting until marriage then I would have encountered disappointment and my expectations would have caused great conflict. Sex is an aspect of a healthy marriage but it isn’t only the end goal. Marriage is much more than just sex and procreation.

This book had many features and imperative questions we must ask each other before we arrive at the altar to say I do. Though the questions presented in this book may be difficult at times to ask and answer, failing to have a discussion leads to confusion and conflict down the road in marriage. I am single and I have already decided that before I get engaged we will be going through these questions together as a couple. This book will strength your dating relationships and assist you in deeming who you will marry. Marriage and choosing who to spend the rest of your life with is a gigantic decision we can’t take lightly. We have to investigate our dating relationships and watch for the signs of who they truly are! Pay attention to the clues!! If you’re looking for a marriage partner, please read this book you will be blessed and forever changed and you will learn the skills and tools to succeed in marriage and other important decisions!

[Thesina]

I read this book and it was so helpful to me. Bishop provided insightful nuggets to apply to your decision making process. If you are in the mist of making a BIG decision, this book is a MUST read.

[ARC · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I bought the book, I'd never have guessed that it was a book on managing relationships based on it's title. Being married with a child, technically only the last 4-5 chapters were applicable to me. The book doesn't really focus much on the Christian aspects but more focused on practically and common sense. I'd have expected a stronger spiritual element to the book overall.

[Duffle Bag]

This Book helps out if your planning on dateing,getting married, or just wanting a better life for your self. If you don't now what to do or you just need insite of what you could do this is the book for you..:)

[Lacey Louwagie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm really not sure why this book got such high reviews -- as I was reading it, I kept thinking that it would only be really useful for people who don't THINK about anything before they make big decisions. I, on the other hand, think about everything ad nauseum, so most of the advice in this book was like, "Well, duh." (i.e.: "Babies don't stay babies forever. You may want a baby, but you also need to want a preschooler, an adolescent, and a teenager before you decide to have kids...")

Aside from that, it REALLY felt like a book that was written just to cash in on Bishop Jakes as a "brand," a face to put on the cover, a personality, without a whole lot of substance to recommend it. Although it's supposed to be a book focused on making decisions regarding your personal relationships, specifically when it comes to marriage, there are only about four chapters in the middle that seem directly related to that stage of life, while the rest is padding that is only tangentially related. There's one chapter called, "Before You Take a Risk for Your Marriage," which I assumed was going to be about making decisions like making a big move, or having one partner stop working, or start a business, or what-have-you. But the chapter was JUST about taking risks, period, and didn't say anything about how to take those risks responsibly when you aren't the only one involved. Most of the chapters had weird tangents and there was all sorts of name-dropping ("When I was talking to my good friend Dr. Phil," and "My movie director friend once used my idea ...")

I wanted this book to be straightforward, to offer a more "head-centered" approach to compliment the "heart-centered" approach I was getting in "Emotionally Engaged." But there wasn't any sort of clear-cut decision-making process or strategy here, just a lot of platitudes. If I wasn't such a darn "finisher" when it comes to books, I wouldn't have bothered to finish this one.

[Melissa Omolo]

This was the best book I have ever read on T.D Jakes...It gave me all the advice I needed on relationships.How to go about getting to know the person I am attracted to before I choose to commit to him , the important questions to ask before I get engaged, the things I need to consider before I get married, the things I need to do before I decide we are ready to have children, the things I should do before I think of divorcing my husband and much much more....The best advice I have ever gotten on love and relationships in a very long time.

[Adele · Rating 2 out of 5]

OK book, solid advice with a Christian orientation, but not heavy-handed. Very much common sense, but not ground-breaking.

[Loy Machedo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Loy Machedo’s Book Review – Making Great Decisions Reflections by T.D. Jakes

I was at Hyper-Panda (a mega-supermarket) and as usual at the favorite section of the market – The book section, searching for yet another good book to may be read and add to my collection. My eyes fell towards the shelf titled ‘Killer Price – Books to Clear’. Priced from around 2$ to 5$, among them, I found a few interesting titles and this was one of them.

So who is T. D. Jakes?
- Jakes is the CEO of TDJ Enterprises, LLP; founder and senior pastor of The Potter’s House of Dallas, Inc., which has over 30,000 members; and the author of the New York Times bestselling Making Great Decisions and Reposition Yourself. Time magazine and CNN referred to him as “America’s Best Preacher.”
- His TV show, The Potter’s Touch, reaches 67 million households per month. He has been the host of national radio and television broadcasts and is regularly featured on the highly rated Dr. Phil show. He lives in Dallas, Texas with his wife, five children, and two grandchildren.
- In 2005 Jakes accompanied President George W. Bush on his visit to the areas devastated by Hurricane Katrina. In his book Decision Points, President Bush describes Jakes as “a kind of man who puts faith into action.”
- On January 20, 2009, Jakes led the early morning prayer service for President Barack Obama at St. John’s Church in Washington, D.C., according to NBC News.
- Among the many books he has authored, his top 5 (as per amazon are) Let It Go: Forgive So You Can Be Forgiven, Healing the Wounds of the Past, Promises From God For Single Women, Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits and T. D. Jakes Speaks to Men, 3-in-1

So now this book – Making Great Decisions Reflections – How was it?

Here is the Good, the Not-so-Good and the Overall review.

The Good.
- Simple easy to read book.
- There are some worthwhile lines in the book.
- A book that stems from years of preaching and wisdom.

The Not-So-Good
- The book is wrongly titled – The majority of the content was focused on being careful about taking steps towards divorce or cheating on your partner.
- The whole book of around 235 pages could have been reduced to 10 pages had the extra-fluff been removed
- It’s a book you will read once and not bother to ever look at it again.

Overall Review
A book that may appeal to a Christian Group with all its soulful mumbo-jumbo being preached left, right and center. The big question however is the branding of the Black Preacher (or is the right term Afro-American….Don’t know what is the right term used right now in the West to identify an American of African Decent – My apologies if I goofed up here) who came across more like the Donald Trump version of the Black Christian Faith. His photograph (and photographs in all his books) make him look pretty stylish, with his branded suits, cufflinks and designer ties. And then you begin to wonder….wow…the Christian faith has really transformed itself now…hasn’t it?
Don’t know what happened to the Christian lifestyle of live humble and simple…..
Anyways….a book you will read once and forget you ever read it.

Overall Ratings
4 out of 10

Loy Machedo
loymachedo.com

[Pamela Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

T.D. Jakes is known for being able to connect with audiences that have people from all walks of life, and he was able to capture this same gift within this book. He touched on so many angles and scenarios of Before you do's in reference to marriage, divorce, separation, getting a job, quitting a job, starting a business, have children, make any commitments, etc. The theme of this book is centered around being able to make great decisions that you wont regret. The main reason this book was very engaging for me was due to me being able to connect with authenticity of his character development within each scenario given. Being that I am on the verge of having to make some life changing decisions, I was engaged by his voice as the narrator which was comforting and reassuring within his connections and affirmations of the possibilities to come. Inspirational books are very informative and can tend to have a monotone voice throughout, but this particular book places you in familiar scenarios and allows you to investigate some of your previous actions or thought processes in a new way. Considering your audience and being able to connect with them is essential when wanting them to remain engage. This is a gift that Jakes has on a platform, and also within a written text.

[Kathie H · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book practically jumped off the shelf to get me to read it. (I have a guardian angel who is on. The. JOB.) I am no fan of "Doctor" Phil (anyone with a tag line is a complete turnoff to me) & I knew Reverend Jakes is on his show. But I overcame that reservation & read Reverend Jakes's book. Believe me, if you read it, you will feel as though you have a new lease on life. It's almost like an on-the-job-of-life training manual. Don't be put off by the fact that Reverend Jakes is a member of the clergy. This book is not preachy. It gives scattered references to the Bible which I only found to be helpful & resonant in my life. If you have a friend or relative who's just starting out on his own, buy him this book. But promise me you'll read it yourself first. It's great to get a little virtual hand-holding to guide one through the what-ifs of relationships (just-met, engagement, marriage, thinking-of-divorce, business, etc.). This book is written in a warm & comforting style which is even a bit corny or hokey at times (that's okay with me; I'm a little old-fashioned [in a good way:]). So, "Before You Do" anything that you're just not sure of, read this book.

[Adrienna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was at a dry season in the work field, after obtaining two degrees in 2004, I found myself in and out of the work place and need a book to help me make better decisions that I wouldn't regret. Therefore, I picked this book up to read and help me soar for my encore. It was a pretty decent read and believe I also have a copy in my possession after reading it at the library.

Adrienna Turner
Author of Ten books.
www.adriennaturner.webs.com

[Alexia D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author takes us through the levels of preparation that require attention before marriage (for singles) and moving further into the levels of marriage (for couples - i.e. wills, financial decisions,children, etc.). The inner works and hesitations are discussed that make for readiness. This is insight one would be wise to learn from before even imagining going down to the courthouse for a marriage license.

[Suzzette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am still reading this book but it is great. T.D. Jakes is essentially encouraging us to really think through our decisions when selecting a mate and especially choosing to marry our mate. However, this book is a great guide to making decisions in general. T.D. Jakes has a great sense of humor and is a very talented writer.

[Simone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bishop T.D. Jakes expounds upon making the right decisions in life and provides us with the necessary steps to avoid regret.

Before You Do topics include marriage, divorce, taking risks, choosing your inner circle and avoid settling for less in your personal and business life.

[JD Burkholder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read for those preparing for marriage. For those who have, the decision-making principles still stand for all other situations. I was encouraged by many of the ideas shared and sparked my interest to read more of his books.

[Mimi · Rating 3 out of 5]

A practical way to look at and evaluate decisions before, during and after making them! A particularly good read for people seeking marriage partners. Good bare bones relationship advice and help with other big decisions.

[Anita L. Freeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

T.D Jake's never disappoints. I wish I read this book when I first bought it however I read it at a point in my life where I had to make life changing decisions. Before I Do definitely gives you wisdom on how to carefully think things through when making life altering decisions.

[Karrie]

If you are planning to get married... read this! I heard a review about it and it's everything you need to know about marriage.

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great/ This book is a good reference for present situations that we all have faced or going to face in life.

[Chevonne]

good book on the different stages in your life

[Deana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a fan of Bishop Jakes to begin with. I love his insight and the way he makes me think and want to be better

[J.Elliot Howaed · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that truly spells out how to count the cost.

[Mpho muthelo · Rating 4 out of 5]

For family,relationships and all personal decisions, lets read this book guys.I Learned a lot. thank you T.D Jakes, God bless you.

[Cherry]

I want too buy and read this book also

[Lori Locklear · Rating 5 out of 5]

A perfect guide to asking the right questions before you take the next step.

[Diana S · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is not what I expected, since it focused more on marriage. It is a book I will read again when I prepare for marriage.

[Kent Dickerson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some fair advise, but almost no Bible. Not what I was hoping for. The few illustrations were good but it needs many more.

[Henrik Haapala · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of insight into the big decisions in life.
1. What do you expect from the relationship?
2. The 20 questions to answer before deepening a relationship
3. Thinking and slowing it down before you do it

[DCbook•ish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here's MY review! www.getemgirls.com/?p=2651

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am currently reading this book and it is excellent. You can't go wrong with Bishop Jakes.