The Grit in the Pearl: The Scandalous Life of Margaret, Duchess of Argyll

by Lyndsy Spence

The shocking true story behind A Very British Scandal, starring Claire Foy and Paul Bettany Margaret, Duchess of Argyll's life was one of complexity and controversy. Born Ethel Margaret Whigham, the only child of a Scottish self-made millionaire and a beautiful high-society woman, her childhood was rich and splendid – but empty. She was a daddy's girl with an absent father, living with a jealous mother who sought to remind Margaret of her every shortcoming. As she grew up, her name was a byword for class and beauty; she was the debutante of her coming-out year, and her marriage to Charles Sweeny literally stopped traffic. But it was not to Margaret needed more. What followed was a story of tragedy, scandal and heartbreak as Margaret swung from lover to lover, society to society. This culminated in her notorious divorce case of 1963, where her soon-to-be-ex-husband produced his pie`ce de ré a Polaroid of her in a compromising position with two other men. In The Grit in the Pearl, Lyndsy Spence takes a look at a woman who was ahead of her time. Using previously unpublished sources and personal transcripts, this is the story of a fragile woman who was to come up against the very highest echelons of English high society – and lose.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, History, British Literature, Audiobook, Memoir, Ebooks

323 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 1, 2019

About the author

Welcome to my Goodreads profile!

I am the author of The Mitford Girls' Guide to Life (The History Press, 2013); Mrs Guinness: The Rise and Fall of Diana Mitford (The History Press, 2015); Margaret Lockwood: Queen of the Silver Screen (Fantom Films, 2016); The Mistress of Mayfair: Men, Money and the Marriage of Doris Delevingne (The History Press, 2016). I also edit and produce The Mitford Society annual.


Aside from writing books, I have dabbled in screenwriting. In 2012 I co-wrote The Flower Girl, a short film directed by Emmy Award winner Nick Nanton and shot on location in L.A. My biopic of Vivien Leigh is in development with Ariana Entertainment, and I am currently developing and co-writing a television series based during WWI.

I have written for mainstream newspapers and magazines including Social & Personal, The Lady, Vintage Life, and BBC News Magazine. I also review books for The Lady.

Reviews

[Saturday's Child · Rating 3 out of 5]

What can I say about this one? She had a stunning wedding dress (her first marriage in 1933) and she was kind to animals.

[Pauline Butcher Bird · Rating 2 out of 5]

This biography warns women not to rely on their beauty to bring success and meaning into their lives. In this case we meet the super-rich who marry into the super-poor British aristocracy and what an immoral self-centred lot they are with Margaret, Duchess of Argyll, the star turn. Her infamous nude photos with a headless man published on the front pages of newspapers were the low point of her life and perhaps the event she's most remembered for now. I worked for her once, called in to take dictation at her London home in 1967. She shook so much she made me shake and when I told her 'telegram' was spelt 'telegramme', she believed me.

[BAM doesn’t answer to her real name · Rating 3 out of 5]

ROYALTY PROJECT READ

[Amanda Pittar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poor Maggie, what a Life.

All my life, I had heard about this “dreadful” woman. I was fascinated by her. I then forgot all about her. Whilst reading my way through Lady Colin Campbell’s books she pops up again. Another side to the ongoing story.
The Campbell men, as Dukes of Argyll, are not the most pleasant of human beings. They are mercenary at best,from all accounts, exceedingly unpleasant at worst as husbands from their wives recollections.
They burst onto the historical stage at Glencoe and it is all downhill from there. Personally, as a Scot, I have little to do with Campbells. Just saying.
Margaret comes across as a product of her generation, a last bright flame of a dying breed. None too bright, enormously wealthy, privileged and blessed with the right looks for the time, she shone incandescently. Dazzling men, she picked and used, used and dropped, flitted and married, was cushioned by wealth and connections until the very end. Self professedly highly sexed, she loved being with men. Did she like sex or the process of romance? She was a contemporary of Wallis Simpson, and looked like her.
The famous Headless Polaroid is here, not the photo itself, but a discussion. We still don’t know the man, but we have a good stab at his identity.
Personally, I would love to know how these women never got pregnant. Or perhaps they did, and had “ terminations”. How DID they cope with such active sex lives and keep their birth rates so low?
If you like a good readable biography, try this. It skips and jumps. Misses chunks and I think this is due to lack of material? Just stay away from Campbell men!

[Dawna · Rating 3 out of 5]

She had it all...except you can’t buy character. We see this pattern in the USA today as entitled, wealthy display arrogance, destroy the middle classes, the environment and democracy while asserting their reasons for not paying their taxes. Corruption, greed, hedonism—you just can’t buy character.

[AdiTurbo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got interested in the story of Margaret, Duchess of Argyll, after watching the TV series about her recently. My only peeve about the book is that it may be lacking more of a moral standpoint and a stronger commentary about the social issues that come up here. And there are many of those - Feminism, domestic abuse, alcoholism, the detachment and decadence of the super-rich, entitlement issues and inequality, PTSD, and more.
As for my feelings, they ran throughout the book from disgust at the hypocrisy of high society, at the way a woman with sexual needs was treated back then, at the way a husband could've treated his wife and how wives never expected much better, to the way Margaret expected everyone around her to serve her interests and needs, the way she exploited people around her, the way rich people felt entitled to so much, etc.
In short, it was an eye-opening read that helped me realize how far we have come in just about sixty years as a society and culture, which brings hope for the human race. The research for the book seems very thorough and it never bores. Good work, all in all.

[Cordelia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Book about over privileged rich woman with too much money having affairs with similar rich men....ooh the scandal..!!! Not worth reding

[Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

Skimpy book that doesn't fill in any blanks; it's a rehash of most of what was written previously. I question Lyndsy Spence's research (she publishes new biographies so often!). This story should be a fascinating one but sadly I found it difficult to get into the book and difficult to care about Argyll's story.

[Victoria Lundstrom · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too expensive

Interesting but not worth the cost. Typical of wealthy seeking attention. It is a repeat of so many in the upper class. Sadly there seldom is any contentment or joy but a lot of money money spent carelessly

[Jquick99 · Rating 1 out of 5]

The subject of this book is unlikeable. I got to the part where she’s described as “Despite having no ambitions or aspirations outside of socializing, holidaying (sic) and taking care of her appearance ...”, I realized I’m wasting my time with her.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 / 5 Good to finally find out all about her as she's been on the periphery of many books I've read on the period. As always her early life was more interesting. Not an easy person to warm to.

[Melinda Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fascinating look at the life of a duchess in the 30's-60's. A light read that was interesting.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

She was a perplexing child and glorious in her heyday which seemed to last well into her 40's and beyond. I think she was oftentimes misunderstood and likewise judged for actions that her male counterparts were not. The loss of an early love greatly saddened me for her, and I believed her quote that she would have been happy if not for the loss of him. This portrait of Margaret shows and tells all, even her darkest moments, but I felt always firmly on her team. A fascinating read.

[Constance Moore]

A sympathetic biography about the Duchess of Argyll which presents her as a woman ahead of her time.

[Catherine Jeffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bygone age as lived by the Duchess of Argyll. Entertaining holiday reading.

[Cheryl Mannion thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting Read

This book kept me wanting more. Well-written story about a very compelling woman. Bought it on a whim and glad I did!

[Anita Wallace · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit tedious, :-(

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the read... in large part due to the narration. The audio book provided an effective diversion while plowing through mindless tasks and gave an engaging view of the idle rich of the past.

[Barbra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure what I think of this book to be honest. I found it a bit disappointing and just fact after fact.

[Sharalynne Pasztor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disappointed I didn't like this book more. She just wasn't that interesting.

[Kirsty Keddie · Rating 3 out of 5]

My mother told me about Margaret after we visited Inveraray Castle where she and her scandalous divorce from the 11th Duke of Argyll is notably omitted from. The information boards.

This is a well researched and well presented read although I found her early years as a debutante the most interesting.

[Carolyn Harris · Rating 3 out of 5]

An engaging and sympathetic biography of Margaret, Duchess of Argyll. Spence attributes some the questionable decisions of Margaret's later life to "naivety" and a head injury caused by an elevator accident, and attempts to bring out her more positive attributes including her charity work and her love of animals. The unpleasant aspects of Margaret's character are still quite apparent though. The chapters about Margaret's investment in the preservation of Inveraray Castle and decision to open the castle to tourists were interesting and I would have been interested to read more about her influence on the castle's history. The narrative is sometimes a bit repetitive and Spence frequently quotes Margaret's memoirs and the memoirs of her first husband, Charles Sweeny. The book gives a good sense of what it was like to be part of the British aristocracy in the mid 20th century, including descriptions of debutante balls and royal occasions.

[Susann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really don't understand the appeal!

What a vacuous life. She was rich, spoiled, supposedly beautiful and well socially connected. And she slept around though the book has few juicy details. Marginally interesting but really, what a waste of my time and her life. The book does do a good job of evoking a time period and strata of the well to do in the UK and US. Margaret seemed to know everyone and went everywhere.

[Lesley Inglis · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author presented a lot of situations and relationships that Margaret experienced, which is good because her life was busy and it is good historical information. What I thought would be better for readers was a more enlivened emotional connection to Margaret and her life events. By all accounts she was a celebrity in her day, glamorous & unrestricted in life by either money or rigid morals. She travelled widely and entertained often. From midlife onwards she was involved in many legal battles and so much more. Here is where dramas, highs and lows, joy, fear and hate are infused into life - but apart from the actual information, I couldn't connect to Margaret or any of the other players in the book. I appreciate that there won't be too many of her contemporaries around to get first hand information from and also perhaps because she was born into an era and class where a 'stiff upper lip' was commendable and emotional states and responses were given little attention. As I said it is a good book regarding information about her life but the excitement of being e.g. presented to the queen, her love of dancing and romancing, her sense of adventure through travels, the people she loved, the death of her mother and father, her (none) experience of being a mother and endless other examples,was rich pickings for the author to give the readers an emotional understanding of the lady and her life and for me that didn't happen.

[Hannah Edmonds · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very interesting read; this account of Margaret, Duchess of Argyll covers her early years as a spoilt child, her affairs, scandals and her infamous divorce from the Duke of Argyll.

It's hard to have much sympathy for Margaret; her latter years were certainly tough and she did experience a lot of heartache, but much of it was brought upon herself.

She does have all my sympathy for the eight miscarriages and the stillbirth she suffered; it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I'm surprised this is a woman I had never heard of before; she lived a very lavish lifestyle and was incredibly famous and beloved for decades. The social circles she moved in were filled with fascinating people.

While interesting, I feel that The Grit in the Pearl could've done with a bit more detail and more excerpts from Margaret's personal diary as well as more photos.

Spence writes in a very unbiased way, which I really admire. It would be easy to make Margaret appear almost blameless for the direction her life took, but this is a very honest account with quotes from those who knew her.

I'm very glad times are changing; her divorce was highly publicised and she was made a pariah because of her extramarital affairs, despite the evidence that Ian, her husband was also having affairs. The way women were treated for their indiscretions compared to men is sickening. We do still have a way to go though!

[Colven H. GuffMan · Rating 5 out of 5]

𝘔𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘺! 𝘌𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘰𝘯 𝘍𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘵𝘴. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵[$2𝘮] 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘶𝘱𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴, 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘮. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘱𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘐𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘜𝘚 𝘤𝘺𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴: 𝘻𝘪𝘲𝘤.𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰@𝘨𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭.𝘤𝘰𝘮” 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥’ 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘺𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 , 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴!
𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘴. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 " 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘮" 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘮. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘺𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘪𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fairly dry and tedious read. She was before my time so I didn't know anything going into this, but I never felt her life was really scandalous or shocking from reading the book- she was rich upper class (although perhaps more famous than some), and lived her life like everyone else in her position. Adultery and multiple divorces didn't seem that uncommon, so apart from having a very public divorce I don't see what the big deal is. The British upper class all seemed to be useless, terrible, people.

I generally just felt sorry for her- she doesn't come across as very bright and her marriages sounded miserable. The author also really skims over her divorce and end of life! That being said, it was an interesting insight into life of a certain class during a certain era- and I can understand Maragert feeling lost- the changes she witnessed, and the differences from her youth in the 20's and 30's to her death in the 90's must have been extreme.

[Ken Sampson · Rating 3 out of 5]

[3 Jul 2021] I am not sure what some people expect from a biography, but judging by some of the reviews here, many people did not find it in this one. It has to be said Margaret comes across as a very hard to like individual.

This is a book about one women - a woman very much of her time - with loads of new money and aspirational ambition in the social context of money and power being highly prized commodities. I personally thought it was reasonably well written and informative. It was an easy read and in truth the author did present a relatively balanced view - pointing out many of her character flaws.

Most of us from a certain generation have heard about 'the headless man' photograph and the 'Scandalous Duchess of Argyll' so to read about the actual person and the events of the times was interesting and informative. Ultimately what comes across is her tragedy, her loneliness, her neediness, her quest for affection and the long line of abusive people she encountered along the way and how her sense of self-worth was only ever met by herself.

A good book and well worth reading.

[Nightwitch · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick, easy, gossipy read, but unfortunately nowhere near as scandalous as the title (or a look at Margaret's Wikipedia page) would imply; I'm guessing it was hampered by the simple fact that many of the principals, or at least their children, are still alive, so too much supposition and/or speculation would have been both unkind and legally unwise. Additionally, these weren't the kind of circles where anyone was writing tell-all memoirs - they were the circles where they were suing other people to ensure that nobody wrote tell-all memoirs. Finally, Margaret herself may have been interesting - it's kind of hard to tell actually - but she doesn't seem particularly witty or intelligent, which makes it hard to feel much for her - her personality doesn't really come across.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good look at the life of Margaret, Duchess of Argyll. This naughty duchess did things her own way and to her own taste. She ruthlessly pursued men and all the fine things in life. Eventually, that way of living caught up with her and she was left a shadow of her former self.

The book does a good job of narrating the facts of Margaret's life. She's not someone I feel sorry for. But I also don't feel she was fairly treated in some respects. A couple of quibbles: this book consistently refers to Prince George, Duke of Kent, as Prince George of Kent, which was wrong. The book also talked about the actress Pola Negri, mentioning her as "Polo Negri".

A good intro to someone who was arguably the most famous of the duchesses of Argyll.