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The Elegant Warrior: How To Win Life's Trials Without Losing Yourself
Life is full of trials, and sometimes you need a warrior spirit to overcome them. Award-winning attorney Heather Hansen has spent over twenty years fighting on the battlefields of the courts―but even in her fiercest clashes, she’s remained true to herself and her principles. She shares her journey to becoming an Elegant Warrior, and imparts the wisdom she’s learned from her decades on the bar.
Armed with the tools and techniques she’s honed in the courtroom, Hansen makes the case that anyone can become an Elegant Warrior: someone who fights adversity with grace and compassion, and battles without losing respect for themselves and their adversaries.
Using real-life case studies and personal stories from the fast-paced courtroom arena, Hansen teaches you how to triumph over your own struggles. From overcoming the Curse of Knowledge to discovering the Power of How, you’ll learn how to tap into your own personal strengths to face whatever challenges come your way.
We all have to go to war at times. Sometimes the combat zone is your home; sometimes it’s the office. And sometimes, it’s your inner world. As an Elegant Warrior, you’ll be armed with the confidence, wisdom and skills to enter the fray and remain true to yourself.
Armed with the tools and techniques she’s honed in the courtroom, Hansen makes the case that anyone can become an Elegant Warrior: someone who fights adversity with grace and compassion, and battles without losing respect for themselves and their adversaries.
Using real-life case studies and personal stories from the fast-paced courtroom arena, Hansen teaches you how to triumph over your own struggles. From overcoming the Curse of Knowledge to discovering the Power of How, you’ll learn how to tap into your own personal strengths to face whatever challenges come your way.
We all have to go to war at times. Sometimes the combat zone is your home; sometimes it’s the office. And sometimes, it’s your inner world. As an Elegant Warrior, you’ll be armed with the confidence, wisdom and skills to enter the fray and remain true to yourself.
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
140 pages, Paperback
Published April 9, 2019
About the author
Heather Hansen
3 books5 followersHeather Hansen is the premier expert on how to advocate for your big ideas. She is the CEO and founder of Advocate to Win and has given thousands of clients the knowledge and tools they need to become better advocates and win support, attention, loyalty and engagement for their big ideas.
For over 20 years Heather has been an award winning trial attorney, giving clients the skills to share their big ideas with juries, who initially don’t want to be there and don’t understand the issues. Heather has a degree in psychology, is a certified mediator, and has provided expert analysis for CNN, Fox News Channel, NBC, Fox Business, Good Day Philadelphia, and The Dr. Oz Show.
Known for her insight and energy, Heather has been invited to speak to audiences across the world, everywhere from Kuwait to Ireland, to share with them the tools to advocate for their big ideas. Her interactive and energetic keynotes leave participants with actionable tools they can use that very same day to stop simply communicating and begin advocating.
Heather is the author of The Elegant Warrior-How to Win Life’s Trials Without Losing Yourself, which Publisher’s Weekly called, “A template for achieving personal and career goals.” She is also the host of The Elegant Warrior podcast.
Publishers Weekly had this to say about The Elegant Warrior:
"... contains plenty of valuable, adaptable life lessons to help readers through tricky situations... a template for achieving personal and career goals."
For over 20 years Heather has been an award winning trial attorney, giving clients the skills to share their big ideas with juries, who initially don’t want to be there and don’t understand the issues. Heather has a degree in psychology, is a certified mediator, and has provided expert analysis for CNN, Fox News Channel, NBC, Fox Business, Good Day Philadelphia, and The Dr. Oz Show.
Known for her insight and energy, Heather has been invited to speak to audiences across the world, everywhere from Kuwait to Ireland, to share with them the tools to advocate for their big ideas. Her interactive and energetic keynotes leave participants with actionable tools they can use that very same day to stop simply communicating and begin advocating.
Heather is the author of The Elegant Warrior-How to Win Life’s Trials Without Losing Yourself, which Publisher’s Weekly called, “A template for achieving personal and career goals.” She is also the host of The Elegant Warrior podcast.
Publishers Weekly had this to say about The Elegant Warrior:
"... contains plenty of valuable, adaptable life lessons to help readers through tricky situations... a template for achieving personal and career goals."
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
November 8, 2020
I loved the idea behind this book: strength combined with elegance. Unfortunately, the bits of advice (each one is just 2-3 pages long) mostly fell a little flat with me. However, there were some great ones that I want to take with me and remember!
* "Tell me what you want me to know" as a prompt to help people open up on difficult issues.
* Ask yourself "So what?" when you're overwhelmed with too many to-do items and balls to juggle. So what if you drop one? Will the world really end?
* Understanding your audience not only helps you target your material/presentation/paper, but it also helps improve your credibility with them.
* View rejection as redirection.
* "Tell me what you want me to know" as a prompt to help people open up on difficult issues.
* Ask yourself "So what?" when you're overwhelmed with too many to-do items and balls to juggle. So what if you drop one? Will the world really end?
* Understanding your audience not only helps you target your material/presentation/paper, but it also helps improve your credibility with them.
* View rejection as redirection.
April 9, 2019
There are books I wish I had when I became an adult and this is one of them. The advice from the author is both practical and compelling because life is a battlefield and no one gets out alive. Your job is to both survive and prosper while keeping your sense of self intact and this book will help you with that.
The author, Heather Hansen, is an award winning trial lawyer of 20 years who specializes in medical malpractice cases. You may have seen her on television shows like CNN, NBC, Fox News Channel, and Good Day Philadelphia when she is invited to provide expert analysis of current cases in the news. Currently she travels the country as a communication consultant and professional speaker.
In this book Hansen offers stories from her time as a trial attorney along with the lessons she learned along the way. The stories themselves are both interesting and heartbreaking because in every trial there is a winner and a loser and in some cases the difference is not that clear. The author takes you by the hand and teaches you how to get through life and be an elegant warrior who isn’t afraid of difficult situations but looks forward to the challenges. You’ll learn how to battle doubt, fear, guilt and uncertainty while remaining true to yourself. These lessons apply to both men and women and to your personal and business life.
My favorite chapter is “Pick People Well”. It made me laugh because I remember a family member saying he always took one of his engineering books to jury duty so that if he was selected for voir dire the attorneys would think he was smart and therefore dismiss him. I don’t know if this is true but I do know in real life we make these choices every day. You’ll learn the criteria to consider when you choose a babysitter, a gardener, a doctor or a date.
Life is messy and difficult but it can be joyous and fulfilling. Follow the author’s advice and you’ll find the path you need to make life easier and less difficult.
This book is also available for the Kindle and Nook!
The author, Heather Hansen, is an award winning trial lawyer of 20 years who specializes in medical malpractice cases. You may have seen her on television shows like CNN, NBC, Fox News Channel, and Good Day Philadelphia when she is invited to provide expert analysis of current cases in the news. Currently she travels the country as a communication consultant and professional speaker.
In this book Hansen offers stories from her time as a trial attorney along with the lessons she learned along the way. The stories themselves are both interesting and heartbreaking because in every trial there is a winner and a loser and in some cases the difference is not that clear. The author takes you by the hand and teaches you how to get through life and be an elegant warrior who isn’t afraid of difficult situations but looks forward to the challenges. You’ll learn how to battle doubt, fear, guilt and uncertainty while remaining true to yourself. These lessons apply to both men and women and to your personal and business life.
My favorite chapter is “Pick People Well”. It made me laugh because I remember a family member saying he always took one of his engineering books to jury duty so that if he was selected for voir dire the attorneys would think he was smart and therefore dismiss him. I don’t know if this is true but I do know in real life we make these choices every day. You’ll learn the criteria to consider when you choose a babysitter, a gardener, a doctor or a date.
Life is messy and difficult but it can be joyous and fulfilling. Follow the author’s advice and you’ll find the path you need to make life easier and less difficult.
This book is also available for the Kindle and Nook!
May 6, 2019
This book is a quick and enjoyable read (wish I could say the same about other business-oriented books!) I particularly loved the stories and examples of Heather's life as a young trial lawyer and what she learned along the way. I found Heather's examples both insightful, engaging and inspiring. Throughout the book I found myself returning to my own career and saying "I can relate to that..." The lessons learned are simple and powerful. I plan to buy 'The Elegant Warrior' for my female friends and clients.
July 8, 2020
This book is told from the perspective of a lawyer. it's not exactly what I was hoping it to be so I can't judge it properly. I did not finish it and I don't think I will pick it up again.
Read
July 23, 2023In The Elegant Warrior, Heather Hansen explored the different facets of being a lawyer and how we can apply it to our lives. She is a trial lawyer and has defended medical malpractice cases for over 20 years. She has done legal analysis for Fox News, CNN, and a few others. She has personally dealt with dead mothers, paralyzed lovers, babies harmed, and catastrophic injuries that changed their lives. She explained how she can count on one hand the number of cases she lost. She shared how she was assisting this one young man who was dealing with pain for years. He was taking anxiety medication regularly. He had a withdraw seizure and broke his arm and got a concussion and he sued the doctor. He shared how she took his entire story apart on the stand. Before he testified, he explained to his mother how she helped him with her shoes and how nice she was towards him. She felt bad but she had to expose him. She explained how his story was inconsistent and the timing was off. She admitted to afterwards crying in her RAV4 and pondering if she was true to who she was. She struggled with being kind and also being firm because she had a case to win. This is where the idea for the book came to be. We can all be elegant warriors and we all contain the ability to be true to ourselves no matter what battles we may face along the way. We can learn the balance between being elegant with compassion and not losing ourselves in battle. Each chapter is written with the idea to focus on one aspect of the law. Some of these included complaining, choosing your army, nurturing your team, knowing when to settle, picking people well, strike with questions, and much more.
I would recommend this awesome book written from a lawyer. I enjoyed how she covered everything leading up to the trial and court date. She showed details on all the behind the scenes that occur. I appreciated how open she was in the importance of making your point across in the first three minutes and not falling into the cruse of knowledge. She really tried to help readers to understand how critical it is to ask questions where we will know more knowledge and in turn will help to understand more clearly and help our audience to understand. Making a first impression is very important and it’s something we won’t every forget. Empathy can be obtained when we choose to ask questions. I loved how she related all of the lessons we can learn in the court room to real life and becoming an elegant worker. I’m glad she shared personal examples of some of the cases she took on and sometimes the stories would even be humorous.
"I received this book free from the publisher, Page Two for my honest review.”
I would recommend this awesome book written from a lawyer. I enjoyed how she covered everything leading up to the trial and court date. She showed details on all the behind the scenes that occur. I appreciated how open she was in the importance of making your point across in the first three minutes and not falling into the cruse of knowledge. She really tried to help readers to understand how critical it is to ask questions where we will know more knowledge and in turn will help to understand more clearly and help our audience to understand. Making a first impression is very important and it’s something we won’t every forget. Empathy can be obtained when we choose to ask questions. I loved how she related all of the lessons we can learn in the court room to real life and becoming an elegant worker. I’m glad she shared personal examples of some of the cases she took on and sometimes the stories would even be humorous.
"I received this book free from the publisher, Page Two for my honest review.”
August 21, 2019
I love books when by the end of the book, I feel like I know the author a little bit. By the end of the elegant warrior, I felt like I had lived a part of her life with Heather.
I rarely give 5 stars to a book but this one deserved it. The author talks about fighting the trials life gives you but fighting them with elegance. The chapters had a little bit of background from her lawyer life. These ones interested me the most because I love to read about cases. I know they aren't fun for anyone involved but reading about them increases my heart rate and gives me a bit of the adrenaline rush. The author follows this with how the lesson could be applied to daily life. Then we had a section on science called 'prove it' where she recounted the latest studies which talked about the topic and finally a summary because nobody can remember everything.
The hallmark of a good book is when you know that the author hasn't written two thousand words a chapter just to fill space or because the publisher demanded so. This was a good book. Enough said!
I received a free copy of the book from NetGalley.
I rarely give 5 stars to a book but this one deserved it. The author talks about fighting the trials life gives you but fighting them with elegance. The chapters had a little bit of background from her lawyer life. These ones interested me the most because I love to read about cases. I know they aren't fun for anyone involved but reading about them increases my heart rate and gives me a bit of the adrenaline rush. The author follows this with how the lesson could be applied to daily life. Then we had a section on science called 'prove it' where she recounted the latest studies which talked about the topic and finally a summary because nobody can remember everything.
The hallmark of a good book is when you know that the author hasn't written two thousand words a chapter just to fill space or because the publisher demanded so. This was a good book. Enough said!
I received a free copy of the book from NetGalley.
May 15, 2019
This book has so much to offer its readers. The book should also be digested in short intervals of reading to allow time to reflect on the content. I enjoyed the professional and personal stories in each chapter. The particular story for each chapter set the tone and platform for the message or lesson. The author is a trail lawyer and she often shared how she handled a case, how she dealt with the jury, other people, and even herself. From the need for a mentor, choosing people, using your voice, to the need for questions and objections, the author successfully outlines how the reader can use her lessons to apply to one's own life. "The Summary of the Case" section at the end of each chapter highlights the important take aways. Well done Heather. I look forward to talking to you about your challenges and wisdom soon. I was particularly interested in the value of questioning. As an educator I collected research about effective teaching and the use of probing questions is also a variable of good teaching skills.
January 31, 2020
An excellent book with insightful life and career advice from a highly successful, kickass trial lawyer. This book is written in such an intelligent, accessible and warm manner that it makes you feel like the author is sitting right in front of you, dispensing her wise-woman advice.
I wish this book had been available to me a decade ago, a time I was in dire need of solid advice on how to tackle life's difficult challenges with gumption and grace. With this book, I have some amazing, practical ideas at my fingertips now.
What an elegant read. I truly enjoyed this book. It comes highly recommended.
I wish this book had been available to me a decade ago, a time I was in dire need of solid advice on how to tackle life's difficult challenges with gumption and grace. With this book, I have some amazing, practical ideas at my fingertips now.
What an elegant read. I truly enjoyed this book. It comes highly recommended.
June 1, 2019
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. There is nothing new or earth shattering that the author provides, yet it is wonder to get her perspective as a lawyer and as a woman lawyer. She has a great attitude and provides great examples for how to deal with difficult situations, especially for lawyers.
September 21, 2019
Courtroom stories that transfer to other arena - this is truly inspiration and insights that transform businesses and lives! Hansen is a story teller extraordinaire - fabulous podcast by the same name! You too can be an elegant warrior with grace and compassion. Karen Briscoe - author and podcast host
June 27, 2025
This book is a great read for any female leader. The chapters are short and I began a routine of reading one each morning. It helped level set my day and I even found myself applying the lessons throughout my day. Thank you for a great, quick read for female leaders on-the-go. Passing along to my COO who is interested in reading after I talked about some of the content.
December 27, 2019
Great book on human interaction, reading other people, listening, learning to compromise and growing as a person. Although written from a trial lawyer's perspective, is applicable to anyone dealing or needing to influence others.
As a plus, I know the author.
As a plus, I know the author.
August 22, 2019
Terrific book from a thoughtful and inspiring author. Would certainly recommend to someone looking for a book to ignite their fire in your life!
September 4, 2019
The Elegant Warrior is a interesting and informative book. The book is well written. It was very interesting how she related her life and her cases.
May 27, 2021
This book is a good one to find yourself a guidance on how to be more elegant in facing every single 'battle' in our life from a lawyer sight.
May 23, 2019
This is one of my new favorite books! Heather is a great storyteller, and you'll remember the wisdom she shares because of the impactful stories she tells. She offers a fresh, insightful perspective that's enlightening as well as inspiring. I was especially taken with "show it 'til you grow it" as opposed to "fake it 'til you make it" and have already been using this new approach in my work. A wonderful book for yourself or as a gift for others!
August 24, 2020
This is a small pocket book with 3 summary or focus points at the end of each chapter, which I like.
The author is a lawyer and blogs about her experiences.
One that stood out for me:
If someone tells you to fake it til you make it, run. Faking it doesn't work, and it doesn't feel good. If you lose yourself by faking it, you can never win. But you can find that thing inside of you that will help you win. It may never be your smarts, your caring, your sense of humor, or your empathy. Find that thing inside of you that makes you most yourself, and most confident, and show it. As you show it, it will grow.
Gentle reminders, such as:
*Everyone has been hurt, and everyone is damaged in some way. Consider that as you weigh whether you need to go to battle.
*Move to create progress or to create fire
*Rejection puts you out of your comfort zone, The waiting is the hardest part. Use that time to take care of yourself -physically, mentally and spiritually.
*Remember that you are not being rejected -just that the battle or the argument may have been lost; you are not.
*Take this lesson you learned from this rejection and apply it . It may just be the lesson you need to win the next trial.
*When you respect yourself, others follow. Teach people how to treat you.
*Put your best self forward. It makes giving and earning respect much easier.
*Respect and dignity are paramount and we need to learn how to give and demand it.
Whether you apply these lessons to the courtroom, the bedroom, or the boardroom, you must start with respect and dignity. If in fighting the war, you lose self-respect -you lose your elegance- have you really won? In other words,
Do not stoop too low
It is interesting how inside the courtroom and court trials are so related to everyday life, our personal trials and adversities -it is life.
I came across an article written by the oasis reporters on
His Excellency CDE Emerson Dambudzo Munangagwa
It is a long speech, made in 2017 and these two lines sprung out for me:
It is bad to do something simply because you have a score to settle.
Revenge is a dangerous emotion because it damages me and my enemy.
The author is a lawyer and blogs about her experiences.
One that stood out for me:
If someone tells you to fake it til you make it, run. Faking it doesn't work, and it doesn't feel good. If you lose yourself by faking it, you can never win. But you can find that thing inside of you that will help you win. It may never be your smarts, your caring, your sense of humor, or your empathy. Find that thing inside of you that makes you most yourself, and most confident, and show it. As you show it, it will grow.
Gentle reminders, such as:
*Everyone has been hurt, and everyone is damaged in some way. Consider that as you weigh whether you need to go to battle.
*Move to create progress or to create fire
*Rejection puts you out of your comfort zone, The waiting is the hardest part. Use that time to take care of yourself -physically, mentally and spiritually.
*Remember that you are not being rejected -just that the battle or the argument may have been lost; you are not.
*Take this lesson you learned from this rejection and apply it . It may just be the lesson you need to win the next trial.
*When you respect yourself, others follow. Teach people how to treat you.
*Put your best self forward. It makes giving and earning respect much easier.
*Respect and dignity are paramount and we need to learn how to give and demand it.
Whether you apply these lessons to the courtroom, the bedroom, or the boardroom, you must start with respect and dignity. If in fighting the war, you lose self-respect -you lose your elegance- have you really won? In other words,
Do not stoop too low
It is interesting how inside the courtroom and court trials are so related to everyday life, our personal trials and adversities -it is life.
I came across an article written by the oasis reporters on
His Excellency CDE Emerson Dambudzo Munangagwa
It is a long speech, made in 2017 and these two lines sprung out for me:
It is bad to do something simply because you have a score to settle.
Revenge is a dangerous emotion because it damages me and my enemy.
March 12, 2021
This book is written by a trial lawyer who felt it was essential to fight her battles in court while still maintaining her authenticity and who she was inside, even when things got hard. Here, she offers those tools and techniques she used and perfected in the courtroom to help us fight our own battles and trials in life.
I loved all the Law & Order stuff sprinkled through the book. It almost felt like you were watching a courtroom drama. I also appreciated how the author structured the book with short chapters, making it easy to read and absorb. Each simple topic offered proof to back up the recommendation and personal advice, followed by a summary to wrap it up. Meanwhile, the author wove in her own personal stories, which made the tips and tricks more relatable and compelling.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/hea...
I loved all the Law & Order stuff sprinkled through the book. It almost felt like you were watching a courtroom drama. I also appreciated how the author structured the book with short chapters, making it easy to read and absorb. Each simple topic offered proof to back up the recommendation and personal advice, followed by a summary to wrap it up. Meanwhile, the author wove in her own personal stories, which made the tips and tricks more relatable and compelling.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/hea...
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews