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Tabloid Terrors: I Was a Sasquatch Sex Slave
Sasquatch is real. His feet are as big as they say, but so is his... lust.
In this first book of the dark humor series spoofing on tabloids, you'll see Bigfoot as you've never imagined.
Read how they terrorize Eskimos in the Arctic regions and grumpy old men in the Florida swamps. Learn of strange variations as they rampage through a castle party and battle Freakenstein as the Hairless Undead.
You will laugh, cringe, scream,vomit; it might even turn some of you freaks on. One thing is The images will haunt you forever.
Here are seven tales by S.D. Hintz and Jerrod Balzer, with an eighth story by Mark McLaughlin.
Don't know much about Bigfoot? Don't miss the informative introduction by Michael McCarty.
In this first book of the dark humor series spoofing on tabloids, you'll see Bigfoot as you've never imagined.
Read how they terrorize Eskimos in the Arctic regions and grumpy old men in the Florida swamps. Learn of strange variations as they rampage through a castle party and battle Freakenstein as the Hairless Undead.
You will laugh, cringe, scream,vomit; it might even turn some of you freaks on. One thing is The images will haunt you forever.
Here are seven tales by S.D. Hintz and Jerrod Balzer, with an eighth story by Mark McLaughlin.
Don't know much about Bigfoot? Don't miss the informative introduction by Michael McCarty.
76 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2007
10 people want to read
About the author
S.D. Hintz
27 books45 followersS.D. Hintz has published 5 short stories, 1 poem, and a novel this year — Vigilance & Vengeance (novel) by Solstice Publishing (late 2017), Bellows by Dark Alley Press in Ink Stains, Volume 4, Housecall by MacKenzie Publishing in the Two Eyes Open anthology, Temporary in The Misbehaving Dead collection by A Murder of Storytellers, The Devil’s Embrace in the Beautiful Lies, Painful Truths antho by Left Hand Publishers, Collingwood in the Scarlet Leaf Review, and Aspects of a Rose in the Cold Creek Review. He is the former Editor-in-Chief of KHP Publishers and extremely active on social media.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
February 8, 2010
My second soiling of the Tabloid Terrors series, this time we're going back to where it all began: Tabloid Terrors 1: I was a Sasquatch Sex Slave. Screw chronological order. Everything about this series is messed up, so why not the order I read them?
The first thing the reader notices is that apart from the introduction by Michael McCarty (and one story by Mark Mclaughlin), this is a collection of stories solely by series creators SD Hintz and Jerrod Balzer. Compare it to the first Austin Powers movie, you know, before it became a cameo fest. The outcome of this is that the book comes across more relaxed, just two guys having fun with some Bigfoot stories. This leads to more story than TT3, which in turn has more gross out humour, so it depends what you want to go for. TT3 has a fast pace and wall to wall perversion, while TT1 is a bit deeper .
Dare I say it, but I enjoyed this a little bit more than TT3. Like a little bit more (pinches thumb and forefinger). And hell, as I'm in TT3, shows how honest these reviews are, right?
Let's do this.
I was a Sasquatch Sex Slave by Jerrod Balzer - The title story that sets the tone nicely. A guy, his twin sister and her boyfriend spend the weekend in a cabin in the woods. After a prank with some sexy underwear, our protag finds himself the recipient of some unwanted, and very hairy, attention.
TT Exclusive! Abduction Goes Bad! by SD Hintz - We dapple in TT3 territory with this one as a Sasquatch is abducted and taken aboard and alien craft. The extraterrestrials didn't expect the trouble they get in true Hintz weirdness.
Same-sex Sasquatch Marriage Shocker! by Mark Mclaughlin - Every story is potty humour right? I think, possibly no, as Mark gives us a touching piece about attitudes towards relationships, happiness and yes, Sasquatch man on man action. I think you'll be surprised with this one.
Scandalous Love Triangle Between Scientist and Two Bears by Jerrod Balzer - I don't think I need to tell you much about this one. A scientist is going undercover to infiltrate a tribe of Bigfoot. Bear love ensues. The ending makes it.
Freakenstein vs The Undead by SD Hintz - While the story rushes onto the again, quite frankly bizarro SD style, I particularly liked the beginning, as a show man transporting the real horror icons loses them in a plane crash. I would love SD to go back and do something with these characters. I like the idea. Oh, and there's lots of electrical sperm in this story.
Abominable Snow Woman Body Slams Igloo in Crazed Rampage by Jerrod Balzer - One of my favourites as a rich business man attempts to track down his wayward son in Alaska, only to find a psychotic, randy Abominable Snow Woman. Reminded me of some scenes from AVP and 30 Days of Night. Some great one liners in here too.
Ritzy Party Ruined by Raging Pets! by SD Hintz - A tone change again, as SD takes us to either a fantasy land, period drama or some other crazy shit. The upper class (oh, Mr Darcy!) convene at a party to see the Lord's latest project, his own private collection of exotic animals. This story is a pisser. Literally.
Why Do Skunk Apes Stink? by Jerrod Balzer - There is a very simple and obvious reason why Skunk Apes stink. Balzer has Old Man Winkler tell his tale to great effect, and this story has possibly one of the greatest endings ever. A real laugh out loud moment.
After reading the intro to TT2 (review coming soon) I can see why this book did so well on its release. It's just so different! Balzer and Hintz have really carved out a niche for themselves with this series. I hope to see many more to come. For a moment of gross out silliness, yet well written silliness, you can't go far wrong with any of these books.
The first thing the reader notices is that apart from the introduction by Michael McCarty (and one story by Mark Mclaughlin), this is a collection of stories solely by series creators SD Hintz and Jerrod Balzer. Compare it to the first Austin Powers movie, you know, before it became a cameo fest. The outcome of this is that the book comes across more relaxed, just two guys having fun with some Bigfoot stories. This leads to more story than TT3, which in turn has more gross out humour, so it depends what you want to go for. TT3 has a fast pace and wall to wall perversion, while TT1 is a bit deeper .
Dare I say it, but I enjoyed this a little bit more than TT3. Like a little bit more (pinches thumb and forefinger). And hell, as I'm in TT3, shows how honest these reviews are, right?
Let's do this.
I was a Sasquatch Sex Slave by Jerrod Balzer - The title story that sets the tone nicely. A guy, his twin sister and her boyfriend spend the weekend in a cabin in the woods. After a prank with some sexy underwear, our protag finds himself the recipient of some unwanted, and very hairy, attention.
TT Exclusive! Abduction Goes Bad! by SD Hintz - We dapple in TT3 territory with this one as a Sasquatch is abducted and taken aboard and alien craft. The extraterrestrials didn't expect the trouble they get in true Hintz weirdness.
Same-sex Sasquatch Marriage Shocker! by Mark Mclaughlin - Every story is potty humour right? I think, possibly no, as Mark gives us a touching piece about attitudes towards relationships, happiness and yes, Sasquatch man on man action. I think you'll be surprised with this one.
Scandalous Love Triangle Between Scientist and Two Bears by Jerrod Balzer - I don't think I need to tell you much about this one. A scientist is going undercover to infiltrate a tribe of Bigfoot. Bear love ensues. The ending makes it.
Freakenstein vs The Undead by SD Hintz - While the story rushes onto the again, quite frankly bizarro SD style, I particularly liked the beginning, as a show man transporting the real horror icons loses them in a plane crash. I would love SD to go back and do something with these characters. I like the idea. Oh, and there's lots of electrical sperm in this story.
Abominable Snow Woman Body Slams Igloo in Crazed Rampage by Jerrod Balzer - One of my favourites as a rich business man attempts to track down his wayward son in Alaska, only to find a psychotic, randy Abominable Snow Woman. Reminded me of some scenes from AVP and 30 Days of Night. Some great one liners in here too.
Ritzy Party Ruined by Raging Pets! by SD Hintz - A tone change again, as SD takes us to either a fantasy land, period drama or some other crazy shit. The upper class (oh, Mr Darcy!) convene at a party to see the Lord's latest project, his own private collection of exotic animals. This story is a pisser. Literally.
Why Do Skunk Apes Stink? by Jerrod Balzer - There is a very simple and obvious reason why Skunk Apes stink. Balzer has Old Man Winkler tell his tale to great effect, and this story has possibly one of the greatest endings ever. A real laugh out loud moment.
After reading the intro to TT2 (review coming soon) I can see why this book did so well on its release. It's just so different! Balzer and Hintz have really carved out a niche for themselves with this series. I hope to see many more to come. For a moment of gross out silliness, yet well written silliness, you can't go far wrong with any of these books.
February 21, 2013
I am NOT a fan. I went into this book wanting to enjoy it but couldn't. It felt more like pointless, plotless, high-school locker room humor gone bad than tabloid anything.
I can't judge other works by these authors in this book, but I think I might have a better time wanting to read more by them had I started with other stories.
If you like sick humor that is only not considered taboo because of character stereotyping, then I highly recommend this book. If not, I suggest trying other works by them first.
Overall, others will enjoy it, it simply wasn't my cup of tea.
I can't judge other works by these authors in this book, but I think I might have a better time wanting to read more by them had I started with other stories.
If you like sick humor that is only not considered taboo because of character stereotyping, then I highly recommend this book. If not, I suggest trying other works by them first.
Overall, others will enjoy it, it simply wasn't my cup of tea.
January 18, 2013
Great collection of short stories.Very much like watching a b movie.Laughed a lot.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews