What do you think?
Rate this book
Snake Hips: Belly Dancing and How I Found True Love
This hilariously uplifting memoir follows an Arab American woman’s merry life as she shimmies her way from getting dumped by her tattoo-artist boyfriend to coming to grips with being single, ample, and 30. Feeling lost and heartbroken, Anne Thomas Soffee moves back home to Richmond, Virginia. Against the wishes of her extended family and friends, she enrolls in a belly dancing class hoping to heal her heart and reconnect with her Lebanese roots. Her life is never the same after she discovers the riotous world of American belly dancing, a warm and welcoming subculture where younger and thinner are not necessarily better. Wildly funny adventures ensue as a newly confident Soffee embarks on romantic adventures with a domineering sheik and a beautiful Lebanese boy-next-door. Among the zils (finger cymbals) and thrills of attending classes and performing in moose lodges and county fairs, Soffee is surprised to find happiness and true love along the way. This replaces 1556524587.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
8 people are currently reading
207 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
August 20, 2012
I wanted so badly to like this book! It especially sucks not to like a memoir, because it feels like you're saying you don't like the very real person whose story is told within its pages, but the fact is certain people's stories will resonate with you and others just won't. I've done bellydance in the past, and the idea of a woman using dance to get through difficult times with a lot of humor was right up my alley. And there were a couple of parts that genuinely made me laugh.
About 3/4 of the way through I realized I was just waiting for the book to be over with and I was liking the author's behavior less and less. I found her fixation on landing a man - because she had some kind of crazy Princess Jasmine fantasy - extremely off-putting. It completely squashed all other aspects of her character for me. I wasn't expecting it to be that kind of "finding Mr. Right" book; the description made it sound like she finds her Mr. Right because of her bellydancing, not because she's obsessed with marrying Prince Ali. (That's how she puts it.) It just wasn't what I thought it was going to be.
About 3/4 of the way through I realized I was just waiting for the book to be over with and I was liking the author's behavior less and less. I found her fixation on landing a man - because she had some kind of crazy Princess Jasmine fantasy - extremely off-putting. It completely squashed all other aspects of her character for me. I wasn't expecting it to be that kind of "finding Mr. Right" book; the description made it sound like she finds her Mr. Right because of her bellydancing, not because she's obsessed with marrying Prince Ali. (That's how she puts it.) It just wasn't what I thought it was going to be.
February 5, 2015
I found this book largely disappointing. I was curious to read it because it's about belly dancing and I'm a belly dancer. Belly dancing is not often depicted in literature.
This book fell flat for me. Some aspects of belly dance culture were well depicted, but the book desperately needed an editor.
And what really bugged me was the author's representation of Arab men. She's half Lebanese and decides she wants to date an Arabic man. (power to you.) But it seemed to me like she was fetishizing them and really treating Arabic men as stereotypes. I found her representation of middle eastern culture to be very "othering" and I was really bothered by this book.
This book fell flat for me. Some aspects of belly dance culture were well depicted, but the book desperately needed an editor.
And what really bugged me was the author's representation of Arab men. She's half Lebanese and decides she wants to date an Arabic man. (power to you.) But it seemed to me like she was fetishizing them and really treating Arabic men as stereotypes. I found her representation of middle eastern culture to be very "othering" and I was really bothered by this book.
August 26, 2021
Belly dancing is fun, great workout and makes you feel very sexy. This book made me feel the opposite.
May 18, 2010
This is just a regular old memoir, from my perspective. And it was repetitive. I don't think I could have handled any more references to her nerdy half-Lebanese self.
I also don't really see how this woman, after three years of belly-dancing, didn't seem to get any better. She claimed she was a beginning three years in and that she was shy. I guess it seemed like the only proactive thing she did was go to a class, and then she got kind of swooped into the customs. Aside from seeking potential husbands, she didn't seem to do a lot else.
I don't think Soffee and I would get along very well; she doesn't seem like she really tries very hard.
Parts of the book were funny, but not enough for my tastes.
I also don't really see how this woman, after three years of belly-dancing, didn't seem to get any better. She claimed she was a beginning three years in and that she was shy. I guess it seemed like the only proactive thing she did was go to a class, and then she got kind of swooped into the customs. Aside from seeking potential husbands, she didn't seem to do a lot else.
I don't think Soffee and I would get along very well; she doesn't seem like she really tries very hard.
Parts of the book were funny, but not enough for my tastes.
November 3, 2016
This was supposed to be a funny peek into a time from the author's life when after a crushing break-up she goes back to her childhood home in Richmond, VA to essentially hide. She becomes obsessed with digging into her Arabic heritage through belly dancing and searching for the perfect Arab man. Meh.
July 27, 2023
just came across this book at the library and remembered I read it back in the early 2000s when I was obsessed with belly dancing. I remember it as being charming and funny, and the belly dancing anecdotes were great. I don't dance anymore but I remember it with fondness, and I remember this book the same way.
May 19, 2016
This book was a disappointment to me. I have taken bellydance classes for several years, and have performed at haflas, so the descriptions of the bellydance classes, buying costumes, and backstage in the dressing rooms all rang true to me. That was the one thing that held my interest through the book.
The more I read, the more I felt that if I heard this bellydancer talking to her friends, saying the things she says in the book, I would walk away rather than engage in her conversations. I was particularly repelled by the repeated self-hating of her "whiteness"-- that is, the half of her genetic and family make-up that is not Lebanese. She never talks about her mother's background, the members of the American side of the family, or anything cultural relating to her hated whiteness. The Arab men she meets all confirm the idea that these people treat women badly and only want sex. So what is the draw? And why is she quoting lyrics of songs that relate to Jihad and blowing things up? Nope. Not a person I'd like to know better.
At first, I thought the book was fiction and that made the disdain she held toward many of the people in the book acceptable. But when I realized that this was autobiographical, and these people are the actual people she met, I just felt sorry for people whose lives crossed her path.
Bellydancing is fun, and being in a bellydance group and performing is fun. The author manages to capture that side of it in the book. But her family, friends, and boyfriends just detract from the story.
The more I read, the more I felt that if I heard this bellydancer talking to her friends, saying the things she says in the book, I would walk away rather than engage in her conversations. I was particularly repelled by the repeated self-hating of her "whiteness"-- that is, the half of her genetic and family make-up that is not Lebanese. She never talks about her mother's background, the members of the American side of the family, or anything cultural relating to her hated whiteness. The Arab men she meets all confirm the idea that these people treat women badly and only want sex. So what is the draw? And why is she quoting lyrics of songs that relate to Jihad and blowing things up? Nope. Not a person I'd like to know better.
At first, I thought the book was fiction and that made the disdain she held toward many of the people in the book acceptable. But when I realized that this was autobiographical, and these people are the actual people she met, I just felt sorry for people whose lives crossed her path.
Bellydancing is fun, and being in a bellydance group and performing is fun. The author manages to capture that side of it in the book. But her family, friends, and boyfriends just detract from the story.
Read
November 10, 2018The subtitle of this book should have warned me away, but the Amazon reviews said "I was pleasantly surprised," so I gave it a skim. Endearingly, Soffee falls completely in love with belly dance, and the pleasure of this book is in the contrast between the what she sees as the glamorous and alluring nature of belly dance and the reality of where most of it is performed: community centers with folding chairs, Moose lodges, agricultural fairs. Soffee's first solo gets rudely booed in a nursing home. The book is kind of a crash course in belly dance culture, or at least a version of it: costumes that are so bad that they're good, the "Belly Dance Police" (who lay down the rules that keep belly dancing distinct from stripperdom), the cabaret vs. folklore split (I guess they don't have tribal in Richmond, VA). She's a smart, funny young person and a snappy writer, and I enjoyed her conviction that her tattoo-artist ex-boyfriend would be completely awed if he knew that she had become a way-cool belly dancer. (Would he?) But there's not much more to the book than "I love belly dance and want a boyfriend!!!" I was a bit fascinated by what different choices she made than I would have--is she really surprised that her online dalliance with ArabStud69 doesn't lead to little brown babies? And I got a bit tired of her referring to herself as a kitsch-loving, nerdy, Lebanese-American belly-dancing rocker etc. But hey, that's a good thing to be, and now she's a writer too.
June 2, 2015
I'm going to keep this review short because I read this one for a book club and I want to save most of my thoughts for the discussion.
That said, I didn't really love this book, and that makes me sad because there aren't a lot of books for or about belly dancers.
The author writes with something of a humorous, self-depreciating tone, but unfortunately she depreciates almost everyone around here, too. Family, boyfriends, fellow dancers, patrons... In what seems like an attempt to make the book wacky, she focuses on peoples' flaws and oddities. Unfortunately, this also means she focuses a lot on the flaws and oddities of her own dance community, too.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going to pretend that the belly dance world is all sunshine and roses, but I think you should limit how much dirty laundry you air when you write a book that will be read by the general public and your fellow dancers. I wish she had focused a little more on the benefits she got out of the dance, and her relationship with the dancers she did like, rather than focusing on some of the more negative aspects of being an amateur dancer in a too-small community.
I can't say that I'd really recommend this book, although I'm sure my fellow belly dancers will keep reading it in our quest to read everything we can find about the dance.
That said, I didn't really love this book, and that makes me sad because there aren't a lot of books for or about belly dancers.
The author writes with something of a humorous, self-depreciating tone, but unfortunately she depreciates almost everyone around here, too. Family, boyfriends, fellow dancers, patrons... In what seems like an attempt to make the book wacky, she focuses on peoples' flaws and oddities. Unfortunately, this also means she focuses a lot on the flaws and oddities of her own dance community, too.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going to pretend that the belly dance world is all sunshine and roses, but I think you should limit how much dirty laundry you air when you write a book that will be read by the general public and your fellow dancers. I wish she had focused a little more on the benefits she got out of the dance, and her relationship with the dancers she did like, rather than focusing on some of the more negative aspects of being an amateur dancer in a too-small community.
I can't say that I'd really recommend this book, although I'm sure my fellow belly dancers will keep reading it in our quest to read everything we can find about the dance.
September 12, 2017
I'm fond of this book, having found an ARC copy back in the early 2000s, when I started dancing. It belongs with "Problematic Faves," however. Soffee is an engaging writer, her enthusiasm for bellydance is infectious, and her account of her progress from dancing as an activity to dancing as a lifestyle feels accurate. It's very much a product of its time, though, when hipster nerdiness was an oddball fringe thing that was a source of defensiveness, online dating was still pretty weird, and fetishization of ethnicity wasn't as widely recognized as problematic as it is now. As other reviewers have pointed out, the stories about the author's pursuit of an Arab man to fulfill what she identifies as her "Princess Jasmine fantasy" range from uncomfortable to offensive, and the portrayal of her exploration of her own ethnic heritage feels like it was given rather short shrift. It's unfortunate that a few brief dating interludes are given such prominence in the book, and so much opportunity to drag it down.
April 22, 2008
This is a good light read, with plenty of humor in it, which is exactly what I was looking for at this point in my life. (When you're eight months pregnant, those gut wrenching/deep social commentaries are just too much for your hormones to handle.)
The premise of the book is based on Soffee's real life, but I'm not sure exactly how closely it follows it. The title explains it all: she dates a few guys, finally finds the right guy, and learns to bellydance during the whole process. Unless you're somewhat familiar with the American bellydancing world, you probably won't be too interested in that part of the book. But since I've been bellydancing about 3 years, I found myself nodding and understanding several situations she talked about, and knowing the names of some dancers she mentioned.
That said, if you're really looking forward to the bellydancing aspect of the book, you might be let down, because it's not the central focus by far.
The premise of the book is based on Soffee's real life, but I'm not sure exactly how closely it follows it. The title explains it all: she dates a few guys, finally finds the right guy, and learns to bellydance during the whole process. Unless you're somewhat familiar with the American bellydancing world, you probably won't be too interested in that part of the book. But since I've been bellydancing about 3 years, I found myself nodding and understanding several situations she talked about, and knowing the names of some dancers she mentioned.
That said, if you're really looking forward to the bellydancing aspect of the book, you might be let down, because it's not the central focus by far.
May 16, 2011
Nothing makes you appreciate your family and upbringing more than reading about someone else's. (No matter how many times she calls it a "suburb", the author describes her hometown as a seriously creepy ghetto.)
For the intermittent belly dancer, this book is a lot of fun, chock full of words that you'll feel all elite for knowing. It's a novelized account of how the author picked herself up (from bad relationships and drug addictions) and cleaned up her life, finding a new happiness and self-sufficiency in raks orientale and her local belly dance community.
Not sophisticated nor entirely consistent, Snake Hips doesn't have to be. Readers comfort themselves with the joy of dancing, just like the author does. And that is the mark of effective writing.
(Note: This is the only book I've read for me in weeks. Everything else has been manuscripts and review requests. Now I'm inspired to read something else purely fun.)
For the intermittent belly dancer, this book is a lot of fun, chock full of words that you'll feel all elite for knowing. It's a novelized account of how the author picked herself up (from bad relationships and drug addictions) and cleaned up her life, finding a new happiness and self-sufficiency in raks orientale and her local belly dance community.
Not sophisticated nor entirely consistent, Snake Hips doesn't have to be. Readers comfort themselves with the joy of dancing, just like the author does. And that is the mark of effective writing.
(Note: This is the only book I've read for me in weeks. Everything else has been manuscripts and review requests. Now I'm inspired to read something else purely fun.)
July 16, 2007
I really REALLY enjoyed this book until... the end. The author changed from past tense to present tense and failed to really end the story where it should have ended. Sure, it's autobiographical and life is constantly moving forward, but aesthetically I feel the book could have ended a chapter or two before it actually did. A fun read though, especially if you are interested in belly dance or are nearing 30 and still feeling a bit uncomfortable in adulthood.
December 30, 2009
This book was slow and uninteresting. I suppose she felt her (boring) life had been interesting enough (to someone)to write this drivel but it was a long story about her loneliness and desperation. It doesn't talk about actual belly dancing much at all.
December 3, 2008
What starts out as a potentially well-written easy read turns into a slightly tedious example of why everyone's life is not actually memoir interesting...
March 1, 2011
i would give this book 10 stars if i could. it changed my life, mostly in ways i never thought existed.
April 19, 2011
I didn't love the story as much as I loved the writing. Nice to find an author who can put words together intelligently!
October 5, 2014
Having done quite a bit of bellydancing myself, I really really wanted to like this book. I just couldn't. She made it all sound so pedestrian and un-exciting. A very disappointing book.
February 14, 2010
I first sought this book out as an escapist memoir during spring break of my first year of grad school, and I wanted a fun book about something I love -- dancing! Almost two years later, I picked it up again because I wanted a funny and engaging read for relaxation an the book provides good reminder of how growth can be found in unexpected places.
Snake Hips is particularly enjoyable because the author has a good sense of humor and self-awareness (or self-deprecation?) about her life and choices. She appreciates and shares the quirkiness of her friends and relatives, the ridiculousness of her own decisions and inclinations, and the alternative reality of the bellydance community she profiles. She shows how her passion for dance helps her explore the newness in her familiar life and get reacquainted with herself through a period of transition. But most importantly, she's human and flawed and interesting, and her honesty and her obvious love of all these elements in the people she knows makes it a pleasant voyeuristic exploration of another unique individual.
Snake Hips is particularly enjoyable because the author has a good sense of humor and self-awareness (or self-deprecation?) about her life and choices. She appreciates and shares the quirkiness of her friends and relatives, the ridiculousness of her own decisions and inclinations, and the alternative reality of the bellydance community she profiles. She shows how her passion for dance helps her explore the newness in her familiar life and get reacquainted with herself through a period of transition. But most importantly, she's human and flawed and interesting, and her honesty and her obvious love of all these elements in the people she knows makes it a pleasant voyeuristic exploration of another unique individual.
April 27, 2011
Bought this from the author at the first James River Writer's Festival way back in 2003. I enjoyed it a lot ~ the author has a wonderful voice and a very wry, humorous outlook on life to which I can relate. It didn't hurt that 99.9% of the book is set in Richmond VA, where I live.
There was a lot about belly dancing, as you can gather from the title, and perhaps a bit more about the author's failed love life than I wanted to know about, but overall, I enjoyed the book immensely. My only complaint, and it's a small one, is that she spends so much time bemoaning the relationships that didn't work (and going into great detail about them from start to finish) that when she finally found Mr. Right, I felt his story was brushed over and rushed. I wanted more details about him, but I can understand why, if she was still in a relationship with him when the book went to print, she wouldn't necessarily want to divulge too much.
Still, very enjoyable. I look forward to reading another book by the author soon.
There was a lot about belly dancing, as you can gather from the title, and perhaps a bit more about the author's failed love life than I wanted to know about, but overall, I enjoyed the book immensely. My only complaint, and it's a small one, is that she spends so much time bemoaning the relationships that didn't work (and going into great detail about them from start to finish) that when she finally found Mr. Right, I felt his story was brushed over and rushed. I wanted more details about him, but I can understand why, if she was still in a relationship with him when the book went to print, she wouldn't necessarily want to divulge too much.
Still, very enjoyable. I look forward to reading another book by the author soon.
September 19, 2010
Anne Thomas Soffee is a damn fine writer. Being married to someone studying bellydance (AKA Danse Orientale) it seemed like reading this was written in the rules IN INK for me. After about the first page, it was clear this would be no chore at all. Soffee is an engaging, entertaining writer, and she spins a tale of how bellydancing kept her mind occupied after moving back home to Virginia following a heart-breaking dumping from her then boyfriend, and helped not only rebuild her self-confidence, but also explore her own half-Lebanese roots. Consequently addded to my "To Read" list for this year is her other book, Nerd Girl Rocks Paradise City, about her experiences as a rock journalist in LA's music scene during the 1990s. Both books are by the Chicago Review Press.
September 12, 2011
Redemption through female camaraderie, finding one's ethnic roots and hip shaking. Soffee presents herself as a bit lost, very likable and earnest, always striving to be a better dancer, a better friend and a better Lebanese-American Princess. She recovers from a disastrous relationship with a tattoo artist (tattoo artists, she claims, tend to have barely legal girlfriends--not sure what the age of consent is in North Carolina) by throwing herself into belly dancing and finding some real friendships and a few rivalries along the way.
July 23, 2010
This was a definitely fun and light read. (I'm going by memory now as I've since swapped the book with another reader.) I enjoyed her behind-the-scenes look into the bellydance world, but I remember wishing more tribal bellydance was shown (that's what I danced). Anyway, Soffee's funny if not a little too self-conscious but, since the book's a definite light-read, her self-consciousness isn't so bad.
October 10, 2010
I chanced upon this book after becoming a bit obsessive about belly dancing, doing a search at my public library, and having it show up among all of the instruction manuals and DVDs. I think Ms. Soffee would've approved.
What a fun memoir - witty, smart, self-deprecating - everything I love in a memoir. Throw in rock and roll references, lots of belly dancing, and a happy ending and - well it's everything I like a memoir to be.
I'd write more, but I need to work on my hip drops.
What a fun memoir - witty, smart, self-deprecating - everything I love in a memoir. Throw in rock and roll references, lots of belly dancing, and a happy ending and - well it's everything I like a memoir to be.
I'd write more, but I need to work on my hip drops.
November 14, 2014
I picked this book up because I am a bellydancer. I enjoyed the dancing aspects and could relate, but this book is great even if you're a non-dancer. I couldn't put the book down and have read it at least 3 times. I loved all her stories about her belly dance life and her relationship horror stories. I always laugh when I read this. Books about relationships usually aren't my thing, but these stories are in a class of their own! Great book!
March 12, 2008
Interesting book. It was much more about belly dancing than the true love. I liked the interspersed stories about disastrous dating--good comedy. The belly dancing part was empowering! The true love shouldn't have been billed on the front cover because I didn't think that was really what it was about.
Read
May 14, 2017After being dumped by her long-time tattoo artist boyfriend, Anne finds a flier for belly dancing classes and tries it as a way to get over her ex and reconnect with her Lebanese roots. She throws herself full force into this specialized type of dancing and the unusual community that surrounds it. A great sneak peek into the world of belly dancing.
-Kelly M.H.-
-Kelly M.H.-
June 16, 2011
I have been belly dancing for a little while, and I really enjoyed her description of the dance classes, the costumes (probably the funnest parts) and the teachers. This is probably the 3rd or 4th book about dance that I've read where the main female tries to find true hetero love by dancing. Women would do well to examine thedemographics of dance classes before choosing this approach.
March 24, 2014
I am a belly dancer and my dance tribe decided to read this! We loved it. I thought it was so honest and funny and relatable. If you're a belly dance or wish to belly dance- read this one. Yah! All of the ladies I danced with agreed that it actually helped through some of our 'stuff' while laughing the pages away. Awesome book!
Read
July 10, 2015GUTGed on page 46. While I came down hard on Nerd Girl Rocks Paradise City, after I finished that book, I missed it, which made me realize I liked it more than I originally thought I did. So I thought I'd give this one a go. Unfortunately, I couldn't get into it, maybe because it was devoid of Danzig encounters. Thus, another one, as they say, bites the dust.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews