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How not to fall apart
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
July 3, 2019
This was an incredibly relatable book about what it's like about having depression and anxiety. As someone who suffers with depression and used to suffer from anxiety, I really appreciate the author opening up and sharing her own experiences with the subject as a way of making others feel not alone. Her writing is humorous as well as heart-wrenching. Her advice isn't condescending, but the type of advice you'd give to a friend from someone who's been there and can relate. I highly recommend this to anyone who has experienced depression, anxiety or sexual assault or knows anyone who has been through the experience and wants to understand it better.
May 24, 2019
Great book! I really enjoyed listening to the audio version. It was a nice combination of relatable, emotional, and hillarious. Also Maggy Van Eijk is a badass and I totally want to be her friend.
April 25, 2019
Maggy lays herself bare, but in a way that rarely seems shameful or embarrassing. While I don't self-harm, I understand the self-image issues, and the anxiety and depression. Just having her talk to me about her own experiences helped me come to terms with mine, the the point where I was able to talk to some trusted friends and my husband and get a support team going. Warm, wise, and sometimes ridiculous she still helped me to understand my issues- and let me know that it was okay to have and acknowledge them. So often we feel like we can't speak or let people in. It's shameful, they'll see us as weak, they won't understand.... they won't care. Maggy allows you to see that you aren't alone while giving helpful hints and lists on how you can help yourself when it gets to be a lot. For me, this book was a godsend and it came just in time.
It isn't just for people with mental health issues, though, when you think about it. Out there are a million people who have someone they love- a friend, significant other or family member- that deals with depression and anxiety and doesn't know either what it's like or how to help. Maggy's here for you too. I saw myself and my own frustrations with a dear friend who was going through things I could not understand, reading these words and wondering... is that how C-- felt? Would these suggestions have helped that instance? Seriously, I loved this book. Even though she talked about really heavy issues I left the last page feeling hopeful, uplifted, ready to get extra help as needed and with a lot of great ideas and a lot less self loathing. Five stars all the way.
On the adult content scale, there's language, talk of self-harm, drinking and questionable-maybe even triggering- sexual conversations. I won't say don't give this to your older teen- they might seriously need to know they aren't alone. Just.... proceed with caution. I give it a five.
It isn't just for people with mental health issues, though, when you think about it. Out there are a million people who have someone they love- a friend, significant other or family member- that deals with depression and anxiety and doesn't know either what it's like or how to help. Maggy's here for you too. I saw myself and my own frustrations with a dear friend who was going through things I could not understand, reading these words and wondering... is that how C-- felt? Would these suggestions have helped that instance? Seriously, I loved this book. Even though she talked about really heavy issues I left the last page feeling hopeful, uplifted, ready to get extra help as needed and with a lot of great ideas and a lot less self loathing. Five stars all the way.
On the adult content scale, there's language, talk of self-harm, drinking and questionable-maybe even triggering- sexual conversations. I won't say don't give this to your older teen- they might seriously need to know they aren't alone. Just.... proceed with caution. I give it a five.
April 11, 2019
Well the hammer hit the nail on the head. I felt like someone was explaining my depression and anxiety right back to me. Really great, I only wish she had a list of resources in the back which I actually would have made a copy of for once. She made some great references. Will definitely be flipping through again.
I would also encourage anyone that knows someone who battles with anxiety, depression, and self harm to read this book. You'll learn about the things we don't want to hear.
I would also encourage anyone that knows someone who battles with anxiety, depression, and self harm to read this book. You'll learn about the things we don't want to hear.
July 26, 2019
This was a book that came at the perfect moment. It’s been a tough time for me lately and I needed to hear from someone who has gone through something similar to what I did (although Maggy faces much greater challenges than me). I stumbled across these lines in the first chapter and I knew that this book was going to make me cry (spoiler: it did):
Yes, that was exactly how it felt at my worst and in recent days. Everything feels like it’s behind a thick layer of glass and no matter how positive the interactions I have with people, something in my head will tell me that I messed it up and I have no friends and people are just being polite. It’s an exhausting and dark place to live in.
How Not to Fall Apart is a series of chapters where Maggy talks candidly about her struggles with mental illness and gives us lists of things that she finds helpful. The topics cover from “when you’re scared of your own brain” to “when you can’t stand your own body” to “when someone else hurts you” and “when you’re alone.”
Even though my depression is considered pretty mild, it still hurts. But because it’s mild, I quite often feel uncomfortable verbalising my emotions. I probably talk about my struggles most often on this blog and I definitely am not writing about things until they’re pretty bad and writing becomes the only outlet for my thoughts. I already said this once, but I can’t stress enough how much it means to read something that resonates deeply. By the time I was done with the book – and I finished it in one long train ride – I was tearing.
Some takeaways:
- “Friendship is about being there, about showing up, about listening. Friendship can scoop you out of a low mood, but friendship isn’t about being each other’s personal saviours.”
- “The whole nature of a mental feedback loop is that it’s tricky to unshackle yourself in one swift swoop. It takes time, and it’s always going to want to drag you back in.” – THIS. It took me so long to admit to myself that I needed to go back to counselling earlier this year and that definitely did not help me.
- “You need to become your own advocate. ‘You have to be your own carer, because if you don’t do it, no one else will’.”
- “You are not a burden. At their core people are good and they want to help each other, they just don’t always know how to.”
- “You don’t have to do everything by yourself. Battling a mental health problem, whether it’s temporary or more permanent, is something that requires help.”
- “You’re not crazy. Telling someone […] doesn’t mean your friends will brand you as a loon and ditch you for good.”
This was a difficult review to write. To be honest, I wanted to be a lot more honest about everything to try and show you how much an impact this book had on me. But as usual, the words won’t come (yet). What I can say is this: if you’re struggling with your mental health, even if you think it’s not severe or not something that you’re ready to tell someone about, read this book. It’ll help you know that you’re not alone.
“Ultimately, your mental illness lies to you. It’ll tell you that everything is wrong and that you have no future. It’ll tell you that you should be ashamed and you’re a nuisance and you don’t deserve to get help. The world in which depression and anxiety reign supreme is extremely lonely.”
Yes, that was exactly how it felt at my worst and in recent days. Everything feels like it’s behind a thick layer of glass and no matter how positive the interactions I have with people, something in my head will tell me that I messed it up and I have no friends and people are just being polite. It’s an exhausting and dark place to live in.
How Not to Fall Apart is a series of chapters where Maggy talks candidly about her struggles with mental illness and gives us lists of things that she finds helpful. The topics cover from “when you’re scared of your own brain” to “when you can’t stand your own body” to “when someone else hurts you” and “when you’re alone.”
Even though my depression is considered pretty mild, it still hurts. But because it’s mild, I quite often feel uncomfortable verbalising my emotions. I probably talk about my struggles most often on this blog and I definitely am not writing about things until they’re pretty bad and writing becomes the only outlet for my thoughts. I already said this once, but I can’t stress enough how much it means to read something that resonates deeply. By the time I was done with the book – and I finished it in one long train ride – I was tearing.
Some takeaways:
- “Friendship is about being there, about showing up, about listening. Friendship can scoop you out of a low mood, but friendship isn’t about being each other’s personal saviours.”
- “The whole nature of a mental feedback loop is that it’s tricky to unshackle yourself in one swift swoop. It takes time, and it’s always going to want to drag you back in.” – THIS. It took me so long to admit to myself that I needed to go back to counselling earlier this year and that definitely did not help me.
- “You need to become your own advocate. ‘You have to be your own carer, because if you don’t do it, no one else will’.”
- “You are not a burden. At their core people are good and they want to help each other, they just don’t always know how to.”
- “You don’t have to do everything by yourself. Battling a mental health problem, whether it’s temporary or more permanent, is something that requires help.”
- “You’re not crazy. Telling someone […] doesn’t mean your friends will brand you as a loon and ditch you for good.”
This was a difficult review to write. To be honest, I wanted to be a lot more honest about everything to try and show you how much an impact this book had on me. But as usual, the words won’t come (yet). What I can say is this: if you’re struggling with your mental health, even if you think it’s not severe or not something that you’re ready to tell someone about, read this book. It’ll help you know that you’re not alone.
November 8, 2019
Truly a great book. The writer who has borderline personality disorder (BPD), shared her experiences in managing her life, clearing the mess in her head and how to deal with the breakdowns.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews