Dear Fucking Diary, if I believed in marriage, I'd probably marry this guy. As things stand, I'd like to share a Costco card, cohabitate, and also fuck his brains out. Thanks for listening!
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For now, I enjoy my fairy-tale kiss, and even though it's a hell of a lot bloodier, a fuck of a lot more morbid, than the usual…I'll take it. Because this isn't Wonderland, it's fucking Underland. This…this is home.
Ah…this was just SO fucking good! It's the last book of the series, but it ended well. Allison is figuring her shit out and gets a very nice happily ever after…for now…with her "nine big cocks". I loved Allison, and even though she was so young, 18, she wasn't immature. And I greatly appreciate that. I love all the guys too, in fact I don't think I could pick a favorite…maybe Cheshire Puss or the Savage Duke or Raiden Walker…but then I circle back to all the rest and I love them just as much. Maybe it's just the banter with those three I like. It's funny because when I started reading this series I thought nine was going to be excessive…any more than three seems like overkill. But it just works, there's not one man in the bunch that I'd rather not be there, or that I could have done without. They all have an important part to play.
I will be eagerly awaiting the next adventure of The Alice and her harem of hearts.
"How doth the Alice prophesied," he begins, drawing designs in my exhaled smoke and making…well, me. "Improve her all-male harem. She dates assassins, kings that bleed; princes, angels, dragons!" As he quotes, he draws more of the shapes with his fingers. They're crude little art pieces, like animal crackers or something, only vaguely recognizable shapes, but I like them anyway. "How cheerfully her kitty grins," he continues, drawing Chesh's big, white smile in the air as the cat himself gives a real-world replica. "How neatly shifts her rabbit. She welcomes winged seer men in while dating thieves is habit!" Lar bats his left wing, sending the smoke figures dancing into oblivion.
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"Leave my knickers alone."
"Show me a midnight knicker dance, please," Chesh yowls, falling back into the pillows and covering his face with inked hands. "I'll join in, too. I'll boogie with you, Alli Cat." He pulls his hands down and grins, teeth shining white in the sun. "Did you see what I did there? How claw-ver, am I. The claw-verest one of them. Alli Cat."
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"You gave keys to nine men, and the paintings in the Suit of Hearts reflected that." He glances over at me. "You know that was no coincidence, right? Those paintings were blank until you showed up at the palace. Those images were there because those were the nine men in the world you were most interested in. If your tastes had changed, so too would the paintings."
My mouth hangs open in shock, and I snap it closed quickly to avoid swallowing a rocking horse fly.
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"Shifter blood might taste like shit, but I certainly smelled like it." I smiled, because I don't think I've ever not thought the twins smelled good. Great, actually. Perfect. Maybe it's a crush thing? Because I'm so into them that I'm not perceiving reality anymore? That's love for you.
Not that I love them.
I mean…I mean, shit. Maybe I do.
Oh crap.
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"Enjoy your Fabulous Monsters." He winks at me, and I get the idea that maybe when he says Fabulous Monsters, it's a euphemism for something else. Like, maybe North's and Chesh's cocks?
Or maybe I just want it to be a euphemism? Remember: still horny young person over here. I have not leveled-up in that arena since you began reading. I'm sorry, but I'm simply obstinate about remaining my own age through all three-hundred and sixty-four days of my un-birthdays.
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I kid you not. Could I really make this crap up? I mean, maybe someone could, but she'd probably be a crazy bitch.