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IMPERVIOUS: Confessions of a Semi-Retired Deviant
Others have turned to Janet W. Hardy for advice on the thorniest and most challenging questions they face - questions of sex, polyamory, kink, and self-identity. She’s answered those questions while providing a constructive and compassionate road map in 'The Ethical Slut' as well as 'The New Topping Book' and 'The New Bottoming Book'.
But where others have turned to her, Janet had to make it up as she went. And as you might expect from an author of 'Sex Disasters... and How to Survive Them', it hasn’t all been roses and thorns.
Here, in IMPERVIOUS: Confessions of a (Semi)Retired Deviant, Janet takes the reader from the spark of her own awakening and all the way up until today - the five twisty stages of her own kinky life mirroring those of any good scene: negotiation, warmup, engagement, climax, and aftercare.
As you’d expect, there are plenty of delicious (and surprising) details inside.
Bon Appétit!
But where others have turned to her, Janet had to make it up as she went. And as you might expect from an author of 'Sex Disasters... and How to Survive Them', it hasn’t all been roses and thorns.
Here, in IMPERVIOUS: Confessions of a (Semi)Retired Deviant, Janet takes the reader from the spark of her own awakening and all the way up until today - the five twisty stages of her own kinky life mirroring those of any good scene: negotiation, warmup, engagement, climax, and aftercare.
As you’d expect, there are plenty of delicious (and surprising) details inside.
Bon Appétit!
230 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2019
4 people are currently reading
78 people want to read
About the author
Janet W. Hardy
20 books97 followersAlso published under pseudonyms Catherine A. Liszt and Lady Green.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
June 23, 2019
As someone with more than a passing interest in the kink community. I have read a number of Janet's previous works over the years. IMPERVIOUS: Confessions of a Semi-Retired Deviant may well be my new favorite. This fresh autobiography, offered as a series of vignettes, descriptive tableaus, and ensuing reflections, offers an honest glimpse into the evolution of a suburban mother/ advertising writer into, well, a "professional deviant."
One of the things I most love about Janet's journey is that she immediately dismisses any idea of what she is "supposed to" do/like/be. She wears what she likes, plays with whom she chooses, and tries her best to responsibly navigate multiple identities that at times seem in direct contradiction. Yes, she enjoys delivering pain, but not without seeing the enjoyment in her subject's eyes/sensing their ecstatic involvement. She is, at her core, an aficionado of both sensation and connection. Her descriptions of various scenes (BDSM play encounters) are poetic without being overwrought, and serve as a delicious complement to some of the more traditionally autobiographical sections.
Janet's story is initially one of trial and error: she is not shy about admitting her mistakes and (at times literally painful) lessons learned. It is this combination of humility and vulnerability throughout that makes IMPERVIOUS so moving and ultimately satisfying. Yes, it is one woman's voyage, but it is also a valuable reminder that personal growth is only possible when we stop worrying about what is expected of us and start focusing on what makes us come alive. Janet's story is at times jubilant, frustrating, sad, and, yes, erotic, but there is no sense that she has tried to embellish for ego's sake, nor that she has downplayed any of her more challenging miscalculations. It is the story of a beautiful life lived without apology, and with a compelling sense of purpose: to live in an authentic manner, to form unique connections with others based on complementary drives and desires, to experience (and elicit) a dizzying variety of sensations and head spaces, and to educate others in the least harmful methods of doing so.
One of the things I most love about Janet's journey is that she immediately dismisses any idea of what she is "supposed to" do/like/be. She wears what she likes, plays with whom she chooses, and tries her best to responsibly navigate multiple identities that at times seem in direct contradiction. Yes, she enjoys delivering pain, but not without seeing the enjoyment in her subject's eyes/sensing their ecstatic involvement. She is, at her core, an aficionado of both sensation and connection. Her descriptions of various scenes (BDSM play encounters) are poetic without being overwrought, and serve as a delicious complement to some of the more traditionally autobiographical sections.
Janet's story is initially one of trial and error: she is not shy about admitting her mistakes and (at times literally painful) lessons learned. It is this combination of humility and vulnerability throughout that makes IMPERVIOUS so moving and ultimately satisfying. Yes, it is one woman's voyage, but it is also a valuable reminder that personal growth is only possible when we stop worrying about what is expected of us and start focusing on what makes us come alive. Janet's story is at times jubilant, frustrating, sad, and, yes, erotic, but there is no sense that she has tried to embellish for ego's sake, nor that she has downplayed any of her more challenging miscalculations. It is the story of a beautiful life lived without apology, and with a compelling sense of purpose: to live in an authentic manner, to form unique connections with others based on complementary drives and desires, to experience (and elicit) a dizzying variety of sensations and head spaces, and to educate others in the least harmful methods of doing so.
May 21, 2019
Anyone who has read any of Janet Hardy's previous works has likely been impatiently awaiting a book like Impervious. Hardy's co-authored book The Ethical Slut is many reader's go to recommendation for a frank, funny, and insightful view on polyamory. If you expect Impervious to be every bit as good as it's predecessor, and I'm happy to announce it lives up to expectations.
Though an auto-biography, Hardy's Impervious works as both a memoir and a sort of self-help title, allowing the reader to discover or rediscover pieces of themself as Hardy candidly reminisces about her introduction to and growth through the world of kink. Hardy explains how kink touched every aspect of her life, starting her tale by examining her childhood fascination with spanking. The clever use of parts of titles relating to BDSM scenes (Negotiation, Warmup, Engagement, Climax, and Aftercare) split the book into easily digestible sections that explain where Hardy was in her kink journey for the various stories she shares.
Sprinkled throughout the narrative, along with pop culture references and beginning of chapter quotes, are extremely helpful terminology and rules for those new to kink. Illustrations of floggers, hairbrushes, hangers, and something called the "two-bladed thing" accompany Hardy's stories. These handy references help readers understand her experiences even if they haven't encountered the implement in question or how it is used in a non-conventional setting.
For those more experienced in the world of BDSM, Hardy's stories are a combo of communally shared firsts (everyone starts somewhere) and introduction to one switch's way of understanding the lifestyle. As expressed in The Ethical Slut, Hardy is not one to choose one path when many options are available. Thus, the reader gets the benefit of experiencing scenes with Hardy from a bottom or submissive point of view as well as a dominant or top point of view.
One of the best parts of this book is that Hardy is always unabashedly herself. She doesn't hide the bits of her journey that made her feel out-of-place any more than she boasts about major successes. Descriptions of crafting kinky, spanking-related fanfiction in her head at ten years old, are discussed with the same humor and honesty as fumbling first experiences with partners and the heady exhilaration of a topping session well-done.
In these days of 50 Shades, Hardy's book is refreshing and welcome. Like the best of books, it feels more like a conversation with a close friend than a memoir. This honest look into kink is non-sensationalized and offers plenty of humor along the way. It's a true look at the BDSM lifestyle with all of it's ups and downs, triumphs and missed opportunities, bad decisions and great loves. If you're going to pick up a book for lifestyle 101, get this one. Hardy got that perfect mix of depth and light-hardheartedness that makes Imperviousa quick read you'll find yourself going back to time and again.
Though an auto-biography, Hardy's Impervious works as both a memoir and a sort of self-help title, allowing the reader to discover or rediscover pieces of themself as Hardy candidly reminisces about her introduction to and growth through the world of kink. Hardy explains how kink touched every aspect of her life, starting her tale by examining her childhood fascination with spanking. The clever use of parts of titles relating to BDSM scenes (Negotiation, Warmup, Engagement, Climax, and Aftercare) split the book into easily digestible sections that explain where Hardy was in her kink journey for the various stories she shares.
Sprinkled throughout the narrative, along with pop culture references and beginning of chapter quotes, are extremely helpful terminology and rules for those new to kink. Illustrations of floggers, hairbrushes, hangers, and something called the "two-bladed thing" accompany Hardy's stories. These handy references help readers understand her experiences even if they haven't encountered the implement in question or how it is used in a non-conventional setting.
For those more experienced in the world of BDSM, Hardy's stories are a combo of communally shared firsts (everyone starts somewhere) and introduction to one switch's way of understanding the lifestyle. As expressed in The Ethical Slut, Hardy is not one to choose one path when many options are available. Thus, the reader gets the benefit of experiencing scenes with Hardy from a bottom or submissive point of view as well as a dominant or top point of view.
One of the best parts of this book is that Hardy is always unabashedly herself. She doesn't hide the bits of her journey that made her feel out-of-place any more than she boasts about major successes. Descriptions of crafting kinky, spanking-related fanfiction in her head at ten years old, are discussed with the same humor and honesty as fumbling first experiences with partners and the heady exhilaration of a topping session well-done.
In these days of 50 Shades, Hardy's book is refreshing and welcome. Like the best of books, it feels more like a conversation with a close friend than a memoir. This honest look into kink is non-sensationalized and offers plenty of humor along the way. It's a true look at the BDSM lifestyle with all of it's ups and downs, triumphs and missed opportunities, bad decisions and great loves. If you're going to pick up a book for lifestyle 101, get this one. Hardy got that perfect mix of depth and light-hardheartedness that makes Imperviousa quick read you'll find yourself going back to time and again.
June 23, 2019
It’s a memoir! It’s a training manual! It’s two books in one!
It’s a book about S&M that’s like caramel-swirl ice cream. I couldn’t put it down until it was all gone. I’ll be re-visiting this one.
The chapters are short and self-contained, making this a collection of bonbons, the perfect book to take to a waiting room or keep by the bed. Each one is a little jewel of memory or an introduction to a play scene. These charming slices of her life begin before she comes out to S&M and continue through her stepping away from that world. Building in intensity, moving chronologically, it reads like an intro to S&M written by a smart and adventurous friend, one who emphasizes the joy of play while including useful details of the practice in the real world.
Why we do these things. How to do (some of) them. This book includes a surprising range of experiences: intriguing, sweet, extreme, spiritual, and touching. It is surprising in its clarity about pain and its uses. You can tell how much she has thought about every aspect of this life. These stories offer a clear sense of how deep S&M can go and how quickly, and illustrate how it can be healing.
Not too much for beginners, yet entertaining enough for the experienced, this heart-filled book moves well into the range of experiments most of us will not try - the very point of a good travelogue.
For those armchair adventurers who have never, who will never, who don’t understand the point…you get a clear sense again and again of Why It Is We Do What We Do.
I LOVE THIS BOOK.
It’s a book about S&M that’s like caramel-swirl ice cream. I couldn’t put it down until it was all gone. I’ll be re-visiting this one.
The chapters are short and self-contained, making this a collection of bonbons, the perfect book to take to a waiting room or keep by the bed. Each one is a little jewel of memory or an introduction to a play scene. These charming slices of her life begin before she comes out to S&M and continue through her stepping away from that world. Building in intensity, moving chronologically, it reads like an intro to S&M written by a smart and adventurous friend, one who emphasizes the joy of play while including useful details of the practice in the real world.
Why we do these things. How to do (some of) them. This book includes a surprising range of experiences: intriguing, sweet, extreme, spiritual, and touching. It is surprising in its clarity about pain and its uses. You can tell how much she has thought about every aspect of this life. These stories offer a clear sense of how deep S&M can go and how quickly, and illustrate how it can be healing.
Not too much for beginners, yet entertaining enough for the experienced, this heart-filled book moves well into the range of experiments most of us will not try - the very point of a good travelogue.
For those armchair adventurers who have never, who will never, who don’t understand the point…you get a clear sense again and again of Why It Is We Do What We Do.
I LOVE THIS BOOK.
January 4, 2020
this is one of the books i read aloud to my husband while he cooked breakfast for us on the weekends. it was an enjoyable read for many reasons. it inspired discussion, opinion, communication of shared experiences, philosophies and attitudes. i'm glad we read the book together and appreciate learning more about Janet Hardy, whose c0-authored book, the Ethical Slut, has been a part of my husband's and my learning about ethical nonmonogamy and a book that i've recommended to numerous friends wanting to explore such. if you're interested in kink, BDSM, the philosophical aspects of pain play, i recommend this book.
May 10, 2024
I laughed, cried, writhed, yearned, and squirmed listening to this. I love that Janet narrates it herself, and her humor and voice are so sweet. It feels like you’re sitting in her kitchen while she recounts stories, setting a cup of tea and a flogger in front of you.
As someone into kink, I love how her journey show just how wholesome (I think) and caring it is, in its raw honest way. 🥹❤️
As someone into kink, I love how her journey show just how wholesome (I think) and caring it is, in its raw honest way. 🥹❤️
March 15, 2020
Fascinating and fearless
Boundary-pushing account of a boundary-pushing life, told in a warm and chatty style.
Transcendance, ecstasy, love, death - all here.
(Amazon insisted on an extra seven words before it would allow me to submit. Peculiarly apposite)
Boundary-pushing account of a boundary-pushing life, told in a warm and chatty style.
Transcendance, ecstasy, love, death - all here.
(Amazon insisted on an extra seven words before it would allow me to submit. Peculiarly apposite)
November 13, 2023
Janet Hardy is a living treasure. Such a gift to hear her read this book.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews