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227 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1988


“I felt like a mutant in such a social, socialised city [as Paris], but I've always felt as if I don't belong. In this city, I didn't belong absolutely because I'd never tricked, for sexuality was too devastating for me, and because I'm used to having Thivai around so that I can hate his guts.”
“He might have or might not have been my boyfriend. He cared about me and he didn't care about me. Since I gave and he took, everything was about him. Since everything was about him, everything he thought about me was true of him. Since I remember I was nothing, my memory is nothing.”
“Stealing from a government, an evil one, as governments go, killing a boss, as bosses go, a revolution, blood upon blood on every level of human existence, as blood flows...”
“The particulars of this partnership, a partnership of life and death, were that at every possible moment we undermined, subverted, and feared one another...Our partnership was adversarial...There was no escape for either of us from the reality of each of our attacks...Perhaps I was remembering heterosexuality...No wonder heterosexuality a bit resembles rape.”
“The demand for an adequate mode of expression is senseless. Then why is there this searching for an adequate mode of expression? Was I searching for a social and political paradise?”
“Was it possible that someday – someday – I would hold naked in my arms, and continue to hold and continue to hold, pressed close to my body, a woman on whose femininity and masculine strength I could lean, trusting, whose mettle and daring would place her so high in my esteem that I would long to throw myself at her feet and do as she wished?”

The part of our being (mentality, feeling, physicality) which is free of all control let's call our 'unconscious'. Since it's free of control, it's our only defense against institutionalized meaning, institutionalized language, control, fixation, judgement, prison.
Ten years ago, it seemed possible to destroy language through language: to destroy language that normalizes and controls by cutting that language. Nonsense would attack the empire-making (empirical) empire of language, the prisons of meaning.
But this nonsense, since it depended on sense, simply pointed back to the normalizing institutions.
What is the language of the 'unconcious'? (If this ideal unconscious or freedom doesn't exist: simply pretend that it does, use fiction, for the sake of survival, for all of our survival.) Its primary language must be taboo, all that is forbidden. Thus an attack on the institutions of prison via language would demand the use of language or languages that are which aren't acceptable, which are forbidden. Language, on one level, constitutes a series of codes and social and historical agreements. Nonsense doesn't per se break down the codes; speaking precisely that which the codes forbid breaks the codes.