Demystifying the French: How to Love Them, And Make Them Love You

by Janet Hulstrand

Demystifying the How to Love Them, and Make Them Love You is aimed at first-time visitors to France as well as long-term expatriates. Designed to help readers "crack the code," avoid common mistakes, and get off on the right foot with the French, the book begins with five easy-to-follow essential tips "for even brief encounters" by introducing a few French phrases―and how to say them―that will pave the way for a positive experience in France. The tips are followed by 10 chapters that go into a deeper explanation of French habits, manners, and ways of viewing the world. Hulstrand shares the perspective she has gained in nearly 40 years of time spent living, working, teaching, and traveling in France, and illustrates the principles she is discussing with sometimes touching, and often amusing, personal anecdotes. Her deep admiration and affection for the French people is clear, but she also knows that they can "require special handling" and provides helpful, practical tips on how to do so, inviting readers to learn from her mistakes. Reflections contributed by David Downie, Adrian Leeds, Harriet Welty Rochefort, and other well-known commentators on Franco-American cultural differences provide additional perspective and depth. A glossary of French terms that is both substantive and whimsical provides surprising insights into historical as well as cultural reasons for the French being "the way they are." Aimed mainly at an American audience, this book will be helpful for anyone who wants to better understand the French, and have fun while doing so.

Genres: France, Nonfiction, Travel

120 pages, Paperback

Published January 26, 2019

About the author

Janet Hulstrand is a writer, editor, writing coach, and teacher who lives in France. She writes frequently for Bonjour Paris, France Today, France Revisited, and for her blog Writing from the Heart, Reading for the Road. She created and has taught “Paris: A Literary Adventure” in Paris for the City University of New York nearly every summer since 1997, and she teaches online classes for Politics and Prose Bookstore in Washington DC.

Janet is the author of "Demystifying the French: How to Love Them, and Make Them Love You," and "A Long Way from Iowa: From the Heartland to the Heart of France;" and coauthor of "Moving On: A Practical Guide to Downsizing the Family Home."

Reviews

[Elizabeth]

Reading Challenge: Complete.
Probably the most amusing thing I learned was that Macron used the French equivalent of the "F" word publicly in 2017.

[Penny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a confirmed Francophile, I couldn't resist picking up this little volume to see if it would provide me with any new insights about the people and country I've grown to love. I've read perhaps a dozen other similar books, so I wasn't sure I would find anything new ... especially as the book weighs in at a tad over 100 pages. Still ...

And, bingo! Some new insights, plus reacquaintance with American expat writers I've enjoyed before on the topic. Harriet Welty Rochefort, David Downie, and Adrian Leeds, to be specific. Janet Hulstrand queried each of them and several others for their reasons for admiring the French and their own best advice for Americans visiting the country and wanting to be consonant with French values and customs.

In fact, for its succinctness and its excellent advice, this would be the book I would recommend travelers to France, especially new ones, tuck into their carryons to read on the plane over. The size is perfect and Hulstrands first section discussing the 5 essential tips for Americans in Paris: Always say, "Bonjour," ask "Parlez-vous Anglais?," before going on to ask anything, apologize for interrupting them from their day, attend to your appearance (don't be a slob), and keep the volume down when speaking. All absolutely true. The French value politeness and will return yours with theirs.

The second section of the book goes into more depth about French culture, and particularly about conversing with the French ... what topics to engage in and which to avoid like the plague. Section 3 contains a very useful glossary and an appendix suggests other books you might enjoy on the topic.

A delightful addition to the works on understanding the French.

[Pauline · Rating 4 out of 5]

For travelers to France this book is a great reference. We’ve learned so much about French culture and customs as my husband and I traveled there—some of it the hard and embarrassing way. This was a great book to read aloud. Very conversational. We enjoyed it immensely. We are appalled at some, especially American, tourists who do not learn or care about the customs in France. We’ve seen so many of these tips broken and just shake our head—it’s so simple to say Bonjour Monsieur ou madam while entering stores or before beginning a conversation. (It’s also easy to forget so go easy on yourself.) We love the French people and have not found them to be rude or cold. This could be because we are concerned about fitting into their culture since we are in their country. If you are hoping to travel to France read this book.

[Barbara Hall Forrest · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a delightful book! Janet Hulstrand writes humorously in recollecting her experiences throughout the years with the French people and their language. If the reader has had his or her own experiences with any of what Hulstrand describes, consider yourself forewarned for many smiles and outright laughter to follow -- she is spot on!! Vive la France and vive le difference!!

Merged review:

What a delightful book! Janet Hulstrand writes humorously in recollecting her experiences throughout the years with the French people and their language. If the reader has had his or her own experiences with any of what Hulstrand describes, consider yourself forewarned for many smiles and outright laughter to follow -- she is spot on!! Vive la France and vive le difference!!

[Thomas O. Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book does exactly what it says: it demystifies the French.

I'm an American who has lived part time in France for years. Janet Hulstrand really nails it in this book. She focuses on the important cultural differences we need to understand to get the most out of dealing with French people. Her tone is appreciative, respectful, and her analysis is inciteful.

[Karen Schur-Narula · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Demystifying the French is like sitting in a café with Janet Hulstrand for a pleasant couple of hours.

You’re in for a delightful time, even as the information bubbles and flows like the champagne from her favorite region in France. That the American author is sensitive to cultural nuances and differences is apparent in every chapter. Her explanations are clear and laced with good humor, and should be essential reading. Not just for the one-time traveler to France, but for many who have already chosen to live there.

Demystifying the French casts some light on how the French choose to live, and can even raise pertinent questions about the reader’s own choices.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice book. Even in the short time since this came out (2018), I think France, and especially Paris, is ever-more Americanized. Also, it's hard to generalization about any population such as "the French." The book is perhaps a little short, but perfect for reading on Kindle when flying across the Atlantic.

[Gail · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short but very enlightening!

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I met the author here in Paris. This is a short and easy read about her experiences with the French people, and how to help us non-French to better understand them and interact with them.

[Graziella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great analysis, insight; quite revelatory. Love the historical perspective.