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Let the Children Come: Reimagining Childhood from a Christian Perspective
Explore what faithful parenting might look like today In Let the Children Come , Bonnie J. Miller-McLemore explores the question, What does faithful parenting look like today? As she addresses this query, she updates outmoded and distorted assumptions about and conceptions of children in popular US culture. She also shows important insights and contributions religious traditions and communities, Christianity in particular, make as we examine how to regard and treat children well. Miller-McLemore draws on historical and contemporary understandings of Christianity, psychology, and feminism to push back against negative trends, such as the narcissistic use of children for adult benefit, the market use of children to sell products, and the failure to give children meaningful roles in the domestic work of the family and the life of wider society. Miller-McLemore views children as full participants in families and religious communities and as human beings deserving of greater respect and understanding than people typically grant them. In particular, the book rethinks five ways adults have viewed (and misperceived) children--as victims, sinful, gifts, work (the labor of love), and agents . Reimagining children, she proposes, will lead to a renewed conception of the care of children as a religious practice.
272 pages, Paperback
First published August 20, 2003
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About the author
Bonnie J. Miller-McLemore
15 books7 followersAuthor, co-author, and editor of over sixteen books as well as over a hundred chapters and articles, Miller-McLemore has a particular interest in the person and lived theology in the midst of everyday struggles, such as illness, dying, working, and parenting. Her writing has been translated into several languages, including Korean, Portuguese, and Swedish.
A nationally and internationally recognized leader in pastoral and practical theologies and in women and childhood studies, she has served as president of the International Academy of Practical Theology, president of the Association of Practical Theology, and co-chair of two newly founded program units of the American Academy of Religion, the Consultation on Childhood Studies and Religion and the Group on Practical Theology.
A nationally and internationally recognized leader in pastoral and practical theologies and in women and childhood studies, she has served as president of the International Academy of Practical Theology, president of the Association of Practical Theology, and co-chair of two newly founded program units of the American Academy of Religion, the Consultation on Childhood Studies and Religion and the Group on Practical Theology.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
June 30, 2023
Let the Children Come asks where children have been in Christian theology, and what a practical theology of children might be. Given its place in time, it makes the most sense (to me) to read this as a preface to the whole field, rather than the definitive text in it.
Though I am not a parent, like every other human on earth I have been a child, and like many I am frequently around children. I have read plenty of parenting books, some nonreligious and some Christian. Many have had good insights; some are manuals on how to abuse children (*glares at Michael and Debi Pearl*). Miller-McLemore wades into this swamp of informational overload, which has only worsened since this book's 2003 publication, and asks important questions about rightly-ordered Christian views on parenting that do not lead to parental extremes of permissiveness or tyranny.
As a child growing up in the church, I often heard New Testament passages on parents and children cited. It always confused me that the overwhelming emphasis was placed on the exhortation to children, when the New Testament household codes are even stricter and vaguer for parents--something that one might think would require some elucidation (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). When the day's passage was Jesus welcoming little children, it was turned into a cozy anecdote rather than read in context. See Matthew 18, where Jesus says concrete shoes are a better fate than causing children to sin, or Mark 10, where Jesus' encounter with the rich young ruler immediately follows his welcoming of children. See also the people who get called hypocrites, blind guides, snakes, a brood of vipers--not children who exist as messy little people, but religious leaders. (One wonders what choice words Jesus would use for the many religious leaders who are imprisoned for unspeakable crimes against children.)
As Miller-McLemore explores historically, overlooking contemporary examples, many Christians have developed a "theology" of abuse toward children because of a failure in other areas of theology. (Yes, I'm thinking of IBLP, Ezzos, Pearls, and so forth.) Such organizations set up parents as tyrants over their families, with no expectation for parents to display Christian virtue and the fruits of the Holy Spirit toward their children. Children are expected from birth to submit completely and unquestioningly to this abuse. This system is based on a Trinitarian heresy, eternal functional subordination of the Son, that was condemned at the Council of Nicaea in 323 CE. These methods are built on fear: of children's outcomes, of society, of government.
In addition to despotic parenting methods, Miller-McLemore also seeks a corrective for fear-based parenting that leads not to tyranny but to permissiveness. Children do not thrive without boundaries. She provides a helpful corrective based on mutual love, in which the parents' self-giving early in their child's life is rightfully expected to lead to less work and greater mutuality later on in the child's life, expressed through chores and responsibilities. (As my mom said when caring for her dying mother, the roles were reversed and it became an honor for her to care for her mother in the same way her mother cared for her as a baby.) It is not a transactional exchange, built on guilt and compensation. It is mutual love and sacrifice expressed in a relationship built on trust.
Miller-McLemore discusses the commodification of children, and with my 2023 mind I couldn't help but think of the children being exploited today on "family channels," "momfluencer" accounts, and reality shows, where children's entire lives become monetized content for voyeuristic fans. I thought The Truman Show would have fixed this problem before it started, but alas. What would a practical theology of social media engagement be for Christian parents?
Overall, I am left with more questions than answers, but I feel that is the purpose of this book and I enjoyed the journey. It is a bit out of date, due to how fast childhood has changed from the 1990s to the 2020s, but it is incredibly helpful and worth reading. It's a quick read, barely above popular level, and there are no footnotes (references are in the back but are not endnotes). Questions for reflection and group activities are offered.
Though I am not a parent, like every other human on earth I have been a child, and like many I am frequently around children. I have read plenty of parenting books, some nonreligious and some Christian. Many have had good insights; some are manuals on how to abuse children (*glares at Michael and Debi Pearl*). Miller-McLemore wades into this swamp of informational overload, which has only worsened since this book's 2003 publication, and asks important questions about rightly-ordered Christian views on parenting that do not lead to parental extremes of permissiveness or tyranny.
As a child growing up in the church, I often heard New Testament passages on parents and children cited. It always confused me that the overwhelming emphasis was placed on the exhortation to children, when the New Testament household codes are even stricter and vaguer for parents--something that one might think would require some elucidation (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). When the day's passage was Jesus welcoming little children, it was turned into a cozy anecdote rather than read in context. See Matthew 18, where Jesus says concrete shoes are a better fate than causing children to sin, or Mark 10, where Jesus' encounter with the rich young ruler immediately follows his welcoming of children. See also the people who get called hypocrites, blind guides, snakes, a brood of vipers--not children who exist as messy little people, but religious leaders. (One wonders what choice words Jesus would use for the many religious leaders who are imprisoned for unspeakable crimes against children.)
As Miller-McLemore explores historically, overlooking contemporary examples, many Christians have developed a "theology" of abuse toward children because of a failure in other areas of theology. (Yes, I'm thinking of IBLP, Ezzos, Pearls, and so forth.) Such organizations set up parents as tyrants over their families, with no expectation for parents to display Christian virtue and the fruits of the Holy Spirit toward their children. Children are expected from birth to submit completely and unquestioningly to this abuse. This system is based on a Trinitarian heresy, eternal functional subordination of the Son, that was condemned at the Council of Nicaea in 323 CE. These methods are built on fear: of children's outcomes, of society, of government.
In addition to despotic parenting methods, Miller-McLemore also seeks a corrective for fear-based parenting that leads not to tyranny but to permissiveness. Children do not thrive without boundaries. She provides a helpful corrective based on mutual love, in which the parents' self-giving early in their child's life is rightfully expected to lead to less work and greater mutuality later on in the child's life, expressed through chores and responsibilities. (As my mom said when caring for her dying mother, the roles were reversed and it became an honor for her to care for her mother in the same way her mother cared for her as a baby.) It is not a transactional exchange, built on guilt and compensation. It is mutual love and sacrifice expressed in a relationship built on trust.
Miller-McLemore discusses the commodification of children, and with my 2023 mind I couldn't help but think of the children being exploited today on "family channels," "momfluencer" accounts, and reality shows, where children's entire lives become monetized content for voyeuristic fans. I thought The Truman Show would have fixed this problem before it started, but alas. What would a practical theology of social media engagement be for Christian parents?
Overall, I am left with more questions than answers, but I feel that is the purpose of this book and I enjoyed the journey. It is a bit out of date, due to how fast childhood has changed from the 1990s to the 2020s, but it is incredibly helpful and worth reading. It's a quick read, barely above popular level, and there are no footnotes (references are in the back but are not endnotes). Questions for reflection and group activities are offered.
August 19, 2021
Holy crap, get an editor before you publish your rambling essays. Your misspellings and chopped up words were an embarrassment. I can't believe this was used as a college coursebook.
January 25, 2020
I wish this was required reading for every pastor. If it were *slightly* less academic I would use it for parenting groups. It would still be a great discussion book for parents who are ok with reading that is dry but rich. This book shakes out a paradigm shift for how we view children.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews