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Why don't you just leave him?: A Domestic violence true story.
This honest and open autobiography is the true story of a young woman trapped in a relationship that was violent and abusive. Coercive control drove her to the depths of despair.Stacey Jameson had a lack of self-esteem derived from her early childhood. Growing up and dealing with her parents’ divorce, she felt she was nothing more than an inconvenience to her depressive mother. With severe feelings of inadequacy, she was desperate to be loved and feel that she belonged. When she was a teenager, she met Leon and fell in love. She had never been so happy. They had one common denominator; they were both brought up in volatile homes. This was the foundation for a turbulent and destructive relationship. Stacey was welcomed with open arms into the bosom of Leon’s dysfunctional family; naive and impressionable, she finally felt secure and loved.Stacey’s childhood had made her timid and compliant. Leon’s childhood had made him controlling and narcissistic. Gradually Stacey found herself in an unhappy relationship where her partner thrived on being abusive, yet she still loved him. Coercively controlled into doing things that were not part of her character, she was so manipulated, she believed she did not deserve any better.So often people look on with judgement at others who are in an abusive relationship and say, “Why don’t they just leave?”.Stacey’s story, just one of millions, describes her journey and why it’s not so simple to "Just leave" for people who find themselves caught up in a destructive relationship that they cannot escape from.2nd Edition
320 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 8, 2019
650 people are currently reading
456 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 121 reviews
July 20, 2019
I couldn't put this book down she needed someone to help her I was disgusted with the marriage guidance councillor. They still could have listened to Stacey where's the compassion? What about advice Stacey could have been directed sooner to get help. I hope she is happy now to have her life back free of violence.
April 20, 2019
Inspiring
Hard to read but gives you a better understanding of why people stay in abusive relationships. So hard for her but she never gave up, such strength.
Hard to read but gives you a better understanding of why people stay in abusive relationships. So hard for her but she never gave up, such strength.
July 11, 2019
Brilliantly written book. This woman never felt sad for herself she had empathy for her abusive husband/children. Unfortunately abusers 'read' this in kind people, and take massive liberties feeding off the kindness of such people. Anyone in an abusive relationship should read this book. It is not just 'easy' to walk away, the abuser ties you up in so many knots being 'sorry' after the event, you forget the abuse. You try to help them, these abusers do not want help, this is how they gets their kicks (Excuse the pun). I would recommend this book 100%. I wish Stacey Jameson a really happy life. Stay on your own woman, keep away from these dreadful abusive men.
April 19, 2019
Stacey
Abuse is something that can happen to anyone the abuse Stacey suffered first the abuse from her mam a person who should love you said look after you .then the abuse from Leon a controlling manipulating man how she has survived shows how strong Stacey is and is a lesson to anyone suffering get out now it doesn't stop if you stay but it could kill you .5 STARS.
Abuse is something that can happen to anyone the abuse Stacey suffered first the abuse from her mam a person who should love you said look after you .then the abuse from Leon a controlling manipulating man how she has survived shows how strong Stacey is and is a lesson to anyone suffering get out now it doesn't stop if you stay but it could kill you .5 STARS.
July 25, 2019
Powerful
I have been in this situation and always wanted to write about it, how brave of you first of all to get away, but to be able to put it all in words is a massive achievement and a real inspiration to all women in this terrible situation, well done and be proud that you did it!
I have been in this situation and always wanted to write about it, how brave of you first of all to get away, but to be able to put it all in words is a massive achievement and a real inspiration to all women in this terrible situation, well done and be proud that you did it!
April 24, 2019
Brilliant!!
A great insight into how someone can break the cycle of domestic violence.I believe this book and the amazing author will give others the strength to live without fear.
A great insight into how someone can break the cycle of domestic violence.I believe this book and the amazing author will give others the strength to live without fear.
June 25, 2019
Captivating
A very powerful story was hooked from the beginning couldnt put it down a book to inspire women there is light at the end
A very powerful story was hooked from the beginning couldnt put it down a book to inspire women there is light at the end
February 24, 2019
Great read
I would have gave 5 stars of it wasn't for a lot of spelling grammar mistakes,saying that I couldn't put this book down,having been through the same cycle it was as though I had wrote this book,it's a no hold no bars book,not holding back on the violence she endured which was horrific,a lot of books sugar coat which can be annoying,this book certainly doesn't. I could add more to this review but that would spoil it for other readers,if you are being abused then if you can read this book may it give you strength to break free
I would have gave 5 stars of it wasn't for a lot of spelling grammar mistakes,saying that I couldn't put this book down,having been through the same cycle it was as though I had wrote this book,it's a no hold no bars book,not holding back on the violence she endured which was horrific,a lot of books sugar coat which can be annoying,this book certainly doesn't. I could add more to this review but that would spoil it for other readers,if you are being abused then if you can read this book may it give you strength to break free
December 4, 2020
Amazing women
Amazing women to tell her story. It did bring back some memories of my own abusive past but she is a strong women well done
Amazing women to tell her story. It did bring back some memories of my own abusive past but she is a strong women well done
June 22, 2019
This book is fantastic and I agree if you are in any kind of abusive relationship go get some help its there for everyone
Defiantly recomend to anyone to read women's aid are brilliant they helped me as well so please do no your worth more in life
Defiantly recomend to anyone to read women's aid are brilliant they helped me as well so please do no your worth more in life
April 14, 2019
Fantastic true life story.
An amazing read about one women’s experience of DV and how it affected her and her children’s lives, a rare insight into what life is really like for a battered woman and why they can’t ‘just up and leave’.
An amazing read about one women’s experience of DV and how it affected her and her children’s lives, a rare insight into what life is really like for a battered woman and why they can’t ‘just up and leave’.
June 14, 2024
Whew! This book literally took my breath away. My heart sank multiple times and I truly felt so sorry. I'll admit that I was pretty angry that she kept going back to her husband. Leon and Ade were such disgusting and vile human beings. I know it's not so easy to walk away from domestic violence. It made me think back to my life, the people that I've encountered that have dealt with domestic violence and continue to deal with domestic violence because they feel trapped or worthless. I'm so glad that she made it to safety with her children and her life turned around later.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 17, 2019
Brilliantly written a very honest account of domestic violence.
I couldn't put this book down. Such a very honest account of living with domestic violence. Definitely worth reading. It'll help anyone who is suffering how to get help.
I couldn't put this book down. Such a very honest account of living with domestic violence. Definitely worth reading. It'll help anyone who is suffering how to get help.
June 7, 2019
Disappointing
Whilst the subject of the book was harrowing (domestic violence) I found it hard to focus because there were so many spelling and grammar mistakes. Throughout what should be ‘his’ has been spelled as ‘he’s’, words have been missed out in some sentences meaning they don’t make sense and there are question marks dotted around on sentences that aren’t questions. Poor editing and publishing in my opinion. Felt the book had no real flow, and the ending was rushed. There could have been more information given about the help received from Women’s Aid in the form of counselling or coping mechanisms to deal with the abuse - was it that these things weren’t offered or that Stacey didn’t engage? I won’t insult the writer by saying she should have left him sooner etc, I know it’s not that easy. But even as the victim of the abuse I found it hard to warm to the tone of the narrative.
Whilst the subject of the book was harrowing (domestic violence) I found it hard to focus because there were so many spelling and grammar mistakes. Throughout what should be ‘his’ has been spelled as ‘he’s’, words have been missed out in some sentences meaning they don’t make sense and there are question marks dotted around on sentences that aren’t questions. Poor editing and publishing in my opinion. Felt the book had no real flow, and the ending was rushed. There could have been more information given about the help received from Women’s Aid in the form of counselling or coping mechanisms to deal with the abuse - was it that these things weren’t offered or that Stacey didn’t engage? I won’t insult the writer by saying she should have left him sooner etc, I know it’s not that easy. But even as the victim of the abuse I found it hard to warm to the tone of the narrative.
April 24, 2019
Could not put the book down
I have gone through an abusive relationship and can completely understand how hard it is to leave,absolute inspiration to other survivors. To hear how far Stacey has come from her past at times I could of hugged her through the book
I have gone through an abusive relationship and can completely understand how hard it is to leave,absolute inspiration to other survivors. To hear how far Stacey has come from her past at times I could of hugged her through the book
November 16, 2019
Heart breaking but honest
Reading the terrible things that she experienced had my heart breaking for her. This highlights the impact of domestic violence and why it becomes hard to leave. She is truly brave. Worth the read
Reading the terrible things that she experienced had my heart breaking for her. This highlights the impact of domestic violence and why it becomes hard to leave. She is truly brave. Worth the read
November 9, 2025
This book was so sad to read. This lady is so strong. I don't understand why people don't see the sentence 'why don't you just leave him' as wrong. It's not always that easy. This lady has been through so much in her life but she's survived it all. Plus brought her family up so that she is so proud of them. She did an amazing job. As I was reading it my heart went out to her. Stacey you are an incredible lady. I was in a controlling relationship a few years ago it was nowhere as bad as these ones but if I'd had stayed in it I honestly think it would of turned out violent. Controlling relationship are scary and it got worse the longer I was in it. I really struggled with it so I really don't think I'd of coped if it turned violent. I wasn't allowed to go out with my friends or make plans even with my family on the days I seen him. He started telling me what to wear. I constantly had to ring or message him and he constantly questioned whether I was happy with him and so much more. I started to get really scared of his behaviour so I haven't a clue how you could cope with 2 violent relationships. You should be so proud of yourself. I'm so proud of you managing to escape 2. Well done Stacey this book will help so many people. It was a proper eye opener. I really hope you have a good life now with your amazing husband. You deserve it.
October 26, 2022
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
This book should be read by all those people who say 'why don't you just leave him?'. It's all I used to hear. I feel like you've written about my life, but I ended up in several DV relationships. I think you hit the nail on the head with the emotional abuse. I was 19 with a 9 month old baby when I went into a hostel. I was a baby compared to the other women in there. They asked me which I found worse the mental torture or the beatings. I said I'd rather be beaten cos the bruises fade, the mental shit stays with you. I've been looking back on my childhood and understanding why I pick the men I do. Cos of my dad. He didn't give me any attention or affection, he used to sneer at me like I was something on the bottom of his shoe. Always putting me down. Controlling.And that is an awful thought. This book has actually opened my eyes, confirmed what I already knew. I'm a product of my environment. A brilliant read and so raw. I am so glad you got out. I'm happy with life now. No one will ever come close enough to make me feel fear again 😊
This book should be read by all those people who say 'why don't you just leave him?'. It's all I used to hear. I feel like you've written about my life, but I ended up in several DV relationships. I think you hit the nail on the head with the emotional abuse. I was 19 with a 9 month old baby when I went into a hostel. I was a baby compared to the other women in there. They asked me which I found worse the mental torture or the beatings. I said I'd rather be beaten cos the bruises fade, the mental shit stays with you. I've been looking back on my childhood and understanding why I pick the men I do. Cos of my dad. He didn't give me any attention or affection, he used to sneer at me like I was something on the bottom of his shoe. Always putting me down. Controlling.And that is an awful thought. This book has actually opened my eyes, confirmed what I already knew. I'm a product of my environment. A brilliant read and so raw. I am so glad you got out. I'm happy with life now. No one will ever come close enough to make me feel fear again 😊
December 13, 2020
Tragic
My heart goes out to all those women and children trapped in the terrible cycle of domestic abuse. Scheming, manipulative self centered men who treat their spouse as Stacey' s did are despicable. I cannot judge or ask why she continued to take his abuse. The issue is too complex and the psychological damage she endured, the fear, and the insecurity of what the future would be played heavily on her. I am glad that she got out. I am glad that there are agencies and persons who pick up the phone and help women and children in danger. There are many Staceys out there suffering in silence . It is a must that we as caring human beings support resources that help there women escape the nightmare and heal from abuse no one deserves. We cannot turn the other way and pretend we don't see the signs and pleas for help even if they are not spoken.
My heart goes out to all those women and children trapped in the terrible cycle of domestic abuse. Scheming, manipulative self centered men who treat their spouse as Stacey' s did are despicable. I cannot judge or ask why she continued to take his abuse. The issue is too complex and the psychological damage she endured, the fear, and the insecurity of what the future would be played heavily on her. I am glad that she got out. I am glad that there are agencies and persons who pick up the phone and help women and children in danger. There are many Staceys out there suffering in silence . It is a must that we as caring human beings support resources that help there women escape the nightmare and heal from abuse no one deserves. We cannot turn the other way and pretend we don't see the signs and pleas for help even if they are not spoken.
July 15, 2022
A hard hitting true story told in first person by the author, a domestic abuse survivor.
I have nothing but admiration for these women who manage to walk away from their abusers and start their lives over.
Not the greatest when it came to the way in which it was written, but this didn't deviate from the storyline.
Jameson details the abuse from day one, how Leo went from loving, doting husband to abuser in a short period of time. Not only did he physically abuse her, there was the verbal abuse, the rape, the times he attacked her in front of their two young children. His narcissistic behaviour and the way he gaslighted her was pure evil.
Obviously the book contains many a trigger warning, it's real and relatable.
I read my copy courtesy of Kindle Unlimited.
Rating ⭐⭐⭐⭐
I have nothing but admiration for these women who manage to walk away from their abusers and start their lives over.
Not the greatest when it came to the way in which it was written, but this didn't deviate from the storyline.
Jameson details the abuse from day one, how Leo went from loving, doting husband to abuser in a short period of time. Not only did he physically abuse her, there was the verbal abuse, the rape, the times he attacked her in front of their two young children. His narcissistic behaviour and the way he gaslighted her was pure evil.
Obviously the book contains many a trigger warning, it's real and relatable.
I read my copy courtesy of Kindle Unlimited.
Rating ⭐⭐⭐⭐
May 12, 2019
Good read
Harrowing and upsetting at times I did find myself asking the same question as the title of the book.
Fortunately I have never been a victim of domestic violence so can't really judge the author unless I have been in her shoes. I can see how her husband manipulated and brainwashed her into putting up with the violence and mind games as he broke her until she had no confidence or self esteem left. Men like Leon are evil and need to be stopped. The pot children involved should never had to witness the abuse. I hope anyone reading this who is going through the same finds the strength to leave their abuser before it's too late.
Harrowing and upsetting at times I did find myself asking the same question as the title of the book.
Fortunately I have never been a victim of domestic violence so can't really judge the author unless I have been in her shoes. I can see how her husband manipulated and brainwashed her into putting up with the violence and mind games as he broke her until she had no confidence or self esteem left. Men like Leon are evil and need to be stopped. The pot children involved should never had to witness the abuse. I hope anyone reading this who is going through the same finds the strength to leave their abuser before it's too late.
June 30, 2020
Sorry, but I just couldnt get into this book. I felt as though it was written in the 1950s, when there were no womans shelters, or womans aid and they just had to ‘get on with it’. But this was the 1990s. Come on. I am not saying it would have been easy, but considering more than half of mums today are single parents, I am sure she would very quickly have been given help by social services.
I felt the whole book was very me me me. She was ‘forced’ into a termination? It was the nineties and she was 17! Her relationship with her mum was very strange too, and I would love to hear her mums side of the story.
I gave up at 45%. Just too frustrating and repetative for me.
I felt the whole book was very me me me. She was ‘forced’ into a termination? It was the nineties and she was 17! Her relationship with her mum was very strange too, and I would love to hear her mums side of the story.
I gave up at 45%. Just too frustrating and repetative for me.
September 26, 2022
A story of a brave woman, who life has been unfair to.
So many times whilst reading this book I caught myself thinking, “that’s exactly how I felt with my ex”. Stacey had a way of putting into words how so many abuse victims feel, and the way abusers are almost like two people in one.
So many people in these reviews still can’t understand why it took Stacey so long to finally leave, which shows their lack of understanding- you become an empty shell of yourself from abuse. It’s the most difficult thing to do.
I wish the writing style of this book was different as it became long winded and slightly repetitive.
So many times whilst reading this book I caught myself thinking, “that’s exactly how I felt with my ex”. Stacey had a way of putting into words how so many abuse victims feel, and the way abusers are almost like two people in one.
So many people in these reviews still can’t understand why it took Stacey so long to finally leave, which shows their lack of understanding- you become an empty shell of yourself from abuse. It’s the most difficult thing to do.
I wish the writing style of this book was different as it became long winded and slightly repetitive.
May 11, 2022
hard to imagine life like this
The first red flag that I saw that he was no good was when he laughed at the sight of the mother beating the author. I would’ve broke it off right then and there, but of course being a piece of crap that he was, he would’ve wormed his way back. Sad that the son ended up just like him.
I’m proud of this author. Not only has she become such a strong , independent woman, she was also very brave telling her story. I hope that other women who are victim of domestic abuse will read this and realize that there is hope.
The first red flag that I saw that he was no good was when he laughed at the sight of the mother beating the author. I would’ve broke it off right then and there, but of course being a piece of crap that he was, he would’ve wormed his way back. Sad that the son ended up just like him.
I’m proud of this author. Not only has she become such a strong , independent woman, she was also very brave telling her story. I hope that other women who are victim of domestic abuse will read this and realize that there is hope.
December 15, 2022
Awesome book
This book stirred up a lot of emotions for me. While I have not walked in the exact shoes as the author, I definitely have experienced some of the same things. I found a lot of comfort in knowing that someone out there has a lot of the same feelings that I do. The people pleasing, putting others first, trying to keep the peace, all of that and more can make for an unhappy and unhealthy life, and boy can I relate. I'm thankful that I read this book, it helped me feel not so alone. I definitely recommend.
This book stirred up a lot of emotions for me. While I have not walked in the exact shoes as the author, I definitely have experienced some of the same things. I found a lot of comfort in knowing that someone out there has a lot of the same feelings that I do. The people pleasing, putting others first, trying to keep the peace, all of that and more can make for an unhappy and unhealthy life, and boy can I relate. I'm thankful that I read this book, it helped me feel not so alone. I definitely recommend.
July 3, 2024
Compelling
Really honest and well written book that thoroughly absorbed me. I felt so privileged to read this story and share what Stacey and her children went through. I also felt compassion for her partner's, despite the horrific abuse, and so could appreciate the complexities of loving troubled men. We are all human and flawed ( some more than others) and this book shows the dilemma that so many people face in love and life and the decisions we make. So pleased that Stacey is now happy and that her life is peaceful. We all deserve peace above everything else.
Really honest and well written book that thoroughly absorbed me. I felt so privileged to read this story and share what Stacey and her children went through. I also felt compassion for her partner's, despite the horrific abuse, and so could appreciate the complexities of loving troubled men. We are all human and flawed ( some more than others) and this book shows the dilemma that so many people face in love and life and the decisions we make. So pleased that Stacey is now happy and that her life is peaceful. We all deserve peace above everything else.
April 27, 2019
Utterly horrifying and yet quietly hopeful
I read Stacey's book wanting to understand a little of what multiple forms of abuse look like hour by hour and day by day, and how this abuse affects a person and any dependants... and also ways to be supportive and kind to someone going through a living nightmare(s).
Stacey, I wish you and your family all the very best for as happy a future and as, much recovery as is all possible.
I read Stacey's book wanting to understand a little of what multiple forms of abuse look like hour by hour and day by day, and how this abuse affects a person and any dependants... and also ways to be supportive and kind to someone going through a living nightmare(s).
Stacey, I wish you and your family all the very best for as happy a future and as, much recovery as is all possible.
December 9, 2019
Domestic abuse
This book is like a carbon copy of my relationships past.
It has helped me to realise that domestic violence is a learnt behaviour , a habit .one that needs to be broken
Stacey could have wrote that book about me .i feared for my life and left a letter with a friend incase ^anything ' happened to me & who would look after my children. I broke the cycle like you Stacey .thank you I am not alone . X
This book is like a carbon copy of my relationships past.
It has helped me to realise that domestic violence is a learnt behaviour , a habit .one that needs to be broken
Stacey could have wrote that book about me .i feared for my life and left a letter with a friend incase ^anything ' happened to me & who would look after my children. I broke the cycle like you Stacey .thank you I am not alone . X
May 14, 2020
This has made me cry.
I think I would have been out of the marriage long before. I would have done it before the children saw anything they should not have to be put in the first place. I do hope that all is well now.and they have a better life now, and all their lives are happier. I think that this is a story that everyone who is violent should read this book. Thank you for your story.
I think I would have been out of the marriage long before. I would have done it before the children saw anything they should not have to be put in the first place. I do hope that all is well now.and they have a better life now, and all their lives are happier. I think that this is a story that everyone who is violent should read this book. Thank you for your story.
February 6, 2021
Why don't you just leave him?⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I don't usually read many true life stories as I get so upset but this book as much as it's a hard subject Stacey Jameson tells it how it is.I think she downplays how strong she is by getting herself & her kids away ,There's been so much pain & damage in her life,I home karma is true & she gets to live her life without fear .All the best of everything for you Stacey⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I don't usually read many true life stories as I get so upset but this book as much as it's a hard subject Stacey Jameson tells it how it is.I think she downplays how strong she is by getting herself & her kids away ,There's been so much pain & damage in her life,I home karma is true & she gets to live her life without fear .All the best of everything for you Stacey⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Displaying 1 - 30 of 121 reviews