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What's Happening to My Teen?
More often than not, teens who behave inappropriately are not rebelling; they’re just responding the best way they know how to life’s challenges. In What’s Happening to My Teen?, youth specialist Mark Gregston contends that all too often parents spend so much time correcting their teen that they forget the teen’s greater need for connection. If parents spent more time trying to understand rather than trying to change behavior, they would see a transformation in their teen’s attitudes and actions.
What’s Happening to My Teen? offers wise counsel that will help parents of teens succeed at one of the most difficult tasks they’ve ever encountered. As they draw from Gregston’s expertise, parents will become better equipped to
respond constructively to the inevitable conflict recognize when their teen’s behavior is rebellion and when it’s not avoid words and actions that provoke their teen create a safe environment that promotes truth and open communication
For parents concerned about their teen’s behavior, this book provides the scriptural insight and the skills they need to see their family thrive during those challenging teen years.
- GenresPsychologyChristian
262 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
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22 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
August 31, 2013
Great book. I totally recommend it for counselors working with teens or even those in the ministry who deal with teens a lot. It is also great for parents of teens or to be teens. Upshot, this is an honest book, a practical book and doesn't tell you what to do. It is basically chapters of experiences of the author with different problems teens have. So it doesn't tell you what to do per se, but gives suggestions which one could tailor fit to one's needs. I like that it is Biblical but not 'in your face'. The suggestions are also very do-able which is another plus. All in all, wonderfully, frankly written.
October 14, 2019
Very encouraging read! It’s so easy to wonder why about so many behaviors - to want a reason for them and in the middle of it all to be overwhelmed and wonder what we are doing wrong. Great reminder and encouragement that regardless the behavior, keep moving towards them. It’s not about you, it’s about your teen!
April 26, 2025
4.5 stars because there were quite a few typos, editing errors throughout and some pages out-of-order in one section.
The structure was basically lots of shorts stories to illustrate his points - in no apparent order. Some stories were more helpful than others, but I highlighted this book like crazy. It’s full of wisdom and insights and worth the bit of “working through the weeds” to get to the points - which were all very good. I just usually prefer more structure to the order of chapters of my nonfiction.
His concepts have revolutionized my parenting and may have saved my son’s life bc of takeaways like these…
“Parents must see past the outward signs and symptoms of rebellion and straight into the heart of their teen….Most parents just want inappropriate behavior to stop whenever it rears its ugly head. But that behavior may be an indicator light on their dashboard that is a warning that something else is going on - that something has happened, is happening, or should happen. When the indicator light flashes on for the first time, I caution parents to spend more time looking at the situation to pinpoint its cause, than they do finger-pointing for blame {and setting restrictions, pulling privileges, and administering consequences which only inflame the situation}.” (See Matthew 7:1-5)
“That which a person will not talk about, he will act out.”
“…look around and see the world like your teen sees it.”
“The most common comment I hear from the parents of hundreds of struggling teens is this: ‘I never knew that this could happen to my child.’ Let me assure you from years and years of experience that anything can happen to anyone at any time.”
“When parents ask me how to better communicate with their teens, I tell them the same thing that I tell others over and over. Quit talking.”
“I would encourage all moms to spend one day not saying anything and see what happens. You might find that your value in your teen’s eyes rises substantially, and you might just give your teen the responsibility to step up to the plate and initiate conversation….”
“…gain an understanding of the challenges your child is facing in today’s culture…I do believe that most of the behavior that is considered ‘rebellious’ is really just a response or reaction to what’s happening in a teen’s life.”
“For some reason, many teens who are never exposed to the world and are intentionally shielded from it, develop a grandiose perception of bad behavior. They hear about it, and somehow glorify and magnify it into something that it’s not. Their curiosity can get the best of them when they finally do have the chance to experiment with any overrated wrong behavior. They become like the visitors to New Orleans, who make Mardi Gras out to be more than it actually is, and behave in a way that is far worse than the ones who are used to it do.”
“When a parent has a child who is different, who is wired in a different configuration than others in the family, and who sees things differently than the way others in the family perceive things, it is important for mom and dad to know these differences. If they don’t, they will spend their whole lives in frustration, and it will destroy any inkling of relationship with their teen…Quite honestly, different is just that…different…Parents have a choice to make. They can either allow a child who is different to constantly drain their energy in hopes of getting something they will probably never get, or they can drop some expectations and be content with the good that they do receive. It’s tough. It’s hard. And I’m convinced of this: It’s harder on your teens who are living this.”
“…the way your treat your teen during the hard times will determine the quality of the relationship you have with him when he gets through it.”
“…wise parents move in such a way as to make the issues smaller and the heart and health of the teen of bigger importance.” (See 2 Timothy 2:34-26)
“Maybe, just maybe, God intends for a person to be in your life because he knows that you can go the distance with them, and fight the good fight they need to make them into the people they’ll need to be when they get married, have kids and become adults. You didn’t think that the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, girding your loins with truth, the shield of faith and the shodding of your feet was just to make you look good, did you? The battle gear we wear is not for some Christian fashion show; it is for doing battle for the souls of sons and daughters.”
And much more!!!!!!!
The structure was basically lots of shorts stories to illustrate his points - in no apparent order. Some stories were more helpful than others, but I highlighted this book like crazy. It’s full of wisdom and insights and worth the bit of “working through the weeds” to get to the points - which were all very good. I just usually prefer more structure to the order of chapters of my nonfiction.
His concepts have revolutionized my parenting and may have saved my son’s life bc of takeaways like these…
“Parents must see past the outward signs and symptoms of rebellion and straight into the heart of their teen….Most parents just want inappropriate behavior to stop whenever it rears its ugly head. But that behavior may be an indicator light on their dashboard that is a warning that something else is going on - that something has happened, is happening, or should happen. When the indicator light flashes on for the first time, I caution parents to spend more time looking at the situation to pinpoint its cause, than they do finger-pointing for blame {and setting restrictions, pulling privileges, and administering consequences which only inflame the situation}.” (See Matthew 7:1-5)
“That which a person will not talk about, he will act out.”
“…look around and see the world like your teen sees it.”
“The most common comment I hear from the parents of hundreds of struggling teens is this: ‘I never knew that this could happen to my child.’ Let me assure you from years and years of experience that anything can happen to anyone at any time.”
“When parents ask me how to better communicate with their teens, I tell them the same thing that I tell others over and over. Quit talking.”
“I would encourage all moms to spend one day not saying anything and see what happens. You might find that your value in your teen’s eyes rises substantially, and you might just give your teen the responsibility to step up to the plate and initiate conversation….”
“…gain an understanding of the challenges your child is facing in today’s culture…I do believe that most of the behavior that is considered ‘rebellious’ is really just a response or reaction to what’s happening in a teen’s life.”
“For some reason, many teens who are never exposed to the world and are intentionally shielded from it, develop a grandiose perception of bad behavior. They hear about it, and somehow glorify and magnify it into something that it’s not. Their curiosity can get the best of them when they finally do have the chance to experiment with any overrated wrong behavior. They become like the visitors to New Orleans, who make Mardi Gras out to be more than it actually is, and behave in a way that is far worse than the ones who are used to it do.”
“When a parent has a child who is different, who is wired in a different configuration than others in the family, and who sees things differently than the way others in the family perceive things, it is important for mom and dad to know these differences. If they don’t, they will spend their whole lives in frustration, and it will destroy any inkling of relationship with their teen…Quite honestly, different is just that…different…Parents have a choice to make. They can either allow a child who is different to constantly drain their energy in hopes of getting something they will probably never get, or they can drop some expectations and be content with the good that they do receive. It’s tough. It’s hard. And I’m convinced of this: It’s harder on your teens who are living this.”
“…the way your treat your teen during the hard times will determine the quality of the relationship you have with him when he gets through it.”
“…wise parents move in such a way as to make the issues smaller and the heart and health of the teen of bigger importance.” (See 2 Timothy 2:34-26)
“Maybe, just maybe, God intends for a person to be in your life because he knows that you can go the distance with them, and fight the good fight they need to make them into the people they’ll need to be when they get married, have kids and become adults. You didn’t think that the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, girding your loins with truth, the shield of faith and the shodding of your feet was just to make you look good, did you? The battle gear we wear is not for some Christian fashion show; it is for doing battle for the souls of sons and daughters.”
And much more!!!!!!!
Want to read
April 26, 2025Goodreads review
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews