Kui laste käes on võim: Kuidas võtta oma armsalt kiusajalt ohjad ja taas nautida lapsevanemaks olemist

by Sean Grover, Ketlin Tamm (Translator)

Kui oled kätte võtnud selle raamatu, oled arvatavasti murdumise äärel. Sinu lapse käitumisest, mida sa algul välja vabandasid – mu laps on lihtsalt elavaloomuline; ta on nagu väike jurist –, on kujunenud sinu elus suur mureallikas.

Kuid laste kasvatamine ei pea olema nii raske. Raamat avab su silmad lapse vastalise käitumise sügavamatele põhjustele, jagades samas vabastavaid nõuandeid ja tähelepanekuid, et su perele taas õnnelikum ja tervislikum suund kätte näidata…

Genres: Parenting

224 pages, Paperback

First published June 3, 2015

Reviews

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is one of the better parenting books that I have read. I've read books on Positive Parenting, the Playful Parent, etc etc. This book forces you to deal with unresolved issues with your parents from your childhood and how that impacts your parenting style. It delves into how children sense these weaknesses in their parents and use them to their advantage during testing periods. I feel like I finally got some solid advice and am immediately putting it into action. Small victories are present, and time will tell whether there is long-term success.

[Miriam Downey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read my full review here: http://mimi-cyberlibrarian.blogspot.c...

I received my copy of When Kids Call The Shots from the publicist and opened the package in front of my "burned out" daughter. The four-year-old was being bossy, and the 2-year-old was running amok. My daughter took one look at the title and said, "Boy, that book couldn't have come at a better time!"

Sean Grover is a psychotherapist and an expert in group therapy work with parents and children. When Kids Call the Shots looks at the symptoms that cause children to bully their parents, and offers concrete solutions to the problems. More than giving advice on how to stop children from being in control, he has parents look at the reasons why the bullying is occurring. Bullying of parents can be caused by defiance, manipulation, and anxiety on the part of children, and the reasons why parents allow this to happen can be because of guilt, anxiety and a need to fix everything. In other words, parents' vulnerabilities may be what are causing the problems.

Scattered throughout the book are examples and anecdotes that almost every parent can relate to. The most valuable chapter discusses the parents' tool box to start remedying the situation. He suggests that parents must stick to their vision, take responsibility for their own behavior, and manage their own feelings. Also, he recommends getting therapy for yourself and/or your child if it is needed.

Grover's narrative and the accompanying examples are very empowering and motivating. Ultimately, his approach is one of compassion. Although he asks the parents to look inward to search for the causes of the difficulties, he is never critical or accusatory about parenting styles. His job in this book is to offer hope to stressed-out parents. The end result will be more relaxed parenting and less stressed-out children.

Interestingly, the book is published by the American Management Association. So, parenting is, in part, a management issue. By the way, tomorrow the book goes to my daughter. The kids are still little; behavior is just being molded. Reading When Kids Call the Shots can make a huge difference for parents.

[Jonathan Curelop · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sean Grover, a psychotherapist in New York City, has written an invaluable book about how and why children take advantage of their parents. When Kids Call the Shots is well-written in simple, straight-forward and accessible prose. The book explores, among other things, that children’s difficulties start with the parents and examines the importance of parents delving into their present and past lives in order to connect with their kids. The book provides salient examples of both inappropriate and positive responses to a child’s outburst. Mr. Grover does not shy away from conveying personal experiences dealing with his own children. And he provides experiences lifted directly from his successful practice. Most importantly perhaps, Mr. Grover address not only confronting and de-escalating a child’s isolated outburst, but also creating solutions that lead to long-term harmony between parents and children. This is a vital read.

[Delta · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not a parent, but I was very interested to see what Grover was proposing to help parents with difficult children and teens. Frankly, I didn't think this book was difficult to understand and the principles make logical sense. My only fear is that parents will pick this book up an dread it, but not understand how to apply it to their own situation. Which is a real shame because I think that parents that apply these techniques could significantly reduce the negativity and bullying on the internet that we've seen become so prevalent these days.

**I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.**

[Khan Ashraf Alif · Rating 1 out of 5]

Statement presentation or word choice creates a huge impact on readers or subjects. Judging from the psychological/professional viewpoint; I'd say author's engagement mechanism with readers to be aggressive and hostile. There are many good contents in this book but - since the readers or subjects are common people and book is about kids psychological wellbeing - this book has the potential to be very damaging and fatal.

[Angelika P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This really hit home

It’s not the parenting book I expected, but it really hit home. The punchline being: be the change you want to see in your child. It is very well written in a conversation style and a super fast and easy read. Most importantly, you can begin applying what the author draws to your attention right away and see almost instant results. I would recommend this book and am looking into getting his stories book as well.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the author's approach. It makes sense! I need to go through it again and work my way through. This book functions more as a self help book than anything.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best parenting books I've read in years!! This is not a general parenting book but one for people whose anxiety, guilt or upbringing has caused or contributed to their child bad behavior of bullying to get their way. This book emphasises the importance of the relationship and empathy and takes a balanced look at both what the parents need to do and what they need to expect from their children. Great wisdom here.

[Robbi C · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were some good journal activities and tips in here. :)

[Simone Cox · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt this book asked lots of questions but didnt really give good advice on what to say in certain situations.

[Kari Scyoc Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical advice that can be implemented quickly and easily. I liked how the author recommended both parenting tips as well as acknowledged that some things are beyond the control of parents.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of When Kids Call the Shots from the Reading Room in exchange for an honest review.

This book is a very easy, conversational read filled with common sense advice and relatable anecdotes about how children come to be in control of the household, and how to take control back.

Recommended for everyone with children or grandchildren!

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of the strategies in this book I think would be almost impossible for the weak parent to implement, especially if they believe that their actions from a place of love. Those who truly need this book aren't reading it.