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The Worst Kind of Want
A trip to Italy reignites a woman's desires to disastrous effect in this dark ode to womanhood, death, and sex
To cool-headed, fastidious Pricilla Messing, Italy will be an escape, a brief glimpse of freedom from a life that's starting to feel like one long decline.
Rescued from the bedside of her difficult mother, forty-something Cilla finds herself called away to Rome to keep an eye on her wayward teenage niece, Hannah. But after years of caregiving, babysitting is the last thing Cilla wants to do. Instead she throws herself into Hannah's youthful, heedless world--drinking, dancing, smoking--relishing the heady atmosphere of the Italian summer. After years of feeling used up and overlooked, Cilla feels like she's coming back to life. But being so close to Hannah brings up complicated memories, making Cilla restless and increasingly reckless, and a dangerous flirtation with a teenage boy soon threatens to send her into a tailspin.
With the sharp-edged insight of Ottessa Moshfegh and the taut seduction of Patricia Highsmith, The Worst Kind of Want is a dark exploration of the inherent dangers of being a woman. In her unsettling follow-up to Catalina, Liska Jacobs again delivers hypnotic literary noir about a woman whose unruly desires and troubled past push her to the brink of disaster.
To cool-headed, fastidious Pricilla Messing, Italy will be an escape, a brief glimpse of freedom from a life that's starting to feel like one long decline.
Rescued from the bedside of her difficult mother, forty-something Cilla finds herself called away to Rome to keep an eye on her wayward teenage niece, Hannah. But after years of caregiving, babysitting is the last thing Cilla wants to do. Instead she throws herself into Hannah's youthful, heedless world--drinking, dancing, smoking--relishing the heady atmosphere of the Italian summer. After years of feeling used up and overlooked, Cilla feels like she's coming back to life. But being so close to Hannah brings up complicated memories, making Cilla restless and increasingly reckless, and a dangerous flirtation with a teenage boy soon threatens to send her into a tailspin.
With the sharp-edged insight of Ottessa Moshfegh and the taut seduction of Patricia Highsmith, The Worst Kind of Want is a dark exploration of the inherent dangers of being a woman. In her unsettling follow-up to Catalina, Liska Jacobs again delivers hypnotic literary noir about a woman whose unruly desires and troubled past push her to the brink of disaster.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published November 5, 2019
66 people are currently reading
5234 people want to read
About the author
Liska Jacobs
4 books167 followersLiska Jacobs is the author of two acclaimed novels, Catalina and The Worst Kind of Want both published by MCD | FSG. To quote a review in The Believer: "The Worst Kind of Want presents Jacobs at her best: thinking through the fraught ethical problems and pitfalls of desire... Jacobs is establishing herself as a novelist who can probe what it means to be both selfish and vulnerable, asking with bald-faced earnestness: What, in 2019, are adult women allowed to want—and at what cost?" Her essays and short fiction have appeared in The Rumpus, Los Angeles Review of Books, Literary Hub, The Millions and The Hairpin among others. She has an MFA from the University of California, Riverside.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 123 reviews
November 15, 2019
Pricilla Messing has had it with being the responsible one. She's tired of caring for her elderly mother, especially after having to care for her father before his death. She always took a back seat to the relationship between her mother and her younger sister, who was more beautiful and more exciting. Part of her wants to put her mother in an assisted living facility, sell the house, and start some new adventure, but she feels too tethered to her responsibilities.
When Cilla's brother-in-law calls from Rome, asking for help getting her teenage niece to behave, she jumps at the chance to head to Italy. She's not interested in riding herd on Hannah, however; she's more interested in absorbing every ounce of the glamorous Roman lifestyle, one she used to experience regularly as the daughter of an actress and a producer. She'd much rather be Hannah's friend than her chaperone, and it isn't too long before Cilla finds herself clubbing, drinking and eating to excess, and enjoying all the city has to offer.
Being with Hannah and her brother-in-law, Paul, does force Cilla to confront some painful memories about her difficult relationship with her sister Emily, who died of cancer a few years earlier. Hannah reminds Cilla so much of Emily at that age, and at times she has trouble dealing with the many ways their relationship was fraught with jealousy, resentment, and condescension, while at other times they were tremendously close.
Cilla's time in Rome makes her feel vibrant again, for the first time in a long while. When she realizes that one of Hannah's handsome friends, a teenage boy far younger than the forty-something Cilla, is flirting with her, it energizes her to feel desirable by someone out of her league. But as the flirtation moves to something more serious, Cilla has to decide whether the potential thrill is worth the risks. Is she willing to lose her relationship with her family for an encounter with a teenager, however handsome and flirtatious he might be? Should she risk it all to feel desirable again, no matter the consequences?
The Worst Kind of Want tells the story of a woman at a crossroads in her life. This was an interesting, thoughtful meditation on the mindset of a "woman of a certain age." And perhaps not being in that demographic made this a little more difficult for me to connect with the character, although I've not had that issue before.
Jacobs’ imagery was vivid and poetic and she created some interestingly complex, flawed characters. But in the end, although I read the book quickly, I didn’t feel fully engaged by it. I enjoyed her first novel, Catalina , a bit better.
NetGalley, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, and MCD provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!
This book publishes November 5.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
You can follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
When Cilla's brother-in-law calls from Rome, asking for help getting her teenage niece to behave, she jumps at the chance to head to Italy. She's not interested in riding herd on Hannah, however; she's more interested in absorbing every ounce of the glamorous Roman lifestyle, one she used to experience regularly as the daughter of an actress and a producer. She'd much rather be Hannah's friend than her chaperone, and it isn't too long before Cilla finds herself clubbing, drinking and eating to excess, and enjoying all the city has to offer.
Being with Hannah and her brother-in-law, Paul, does force Cilla to confront some painful memories about her difficult relationship with her sister Emily, who died of cancer a few years earlier. Hannah reminds Cilla so much of Emily at that age, and at times she has trouble dealing with the many ways their relationship was fraught with jealousy, resentment, and condescension, while at other times they were tremendously close.
Cilla's time in Rome makes her feel vibrant again, for the first time in a long while. When she realizes that one of Hannah's handsome friends, a teenage boy far younger than the forty-something Cilla, is flirting with her, it energizes her to feel desirable by someone out of her league. But as the flirtation moves to something more serious, Cilla has to decide whether the potential thrill is worth the risks. Is she willing to lose her relationship with her family for an encounter with a teenager, however handsome and flirtatious he might be? Should she risk it all to feel desirable again, no matter the consequences?
The Worst Kind of Want tells the story of a woman at a crossroads in her life. This was an interesting, thoughtful meditation on the mindset of a "woman of a certain age." And perhaps not being in that demographic made this a little more difficult for me to connect with the character, although I've not had that issue before.
Jacobs’ imagery was vivid and poetic and she created some interestingly complex, flawed characters. But in the end, although I read the book quickly, I didn’t feel fully engaged by it. I enjoyed her first novel, Catalina , a bit better.
NetGalley, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, and MCD provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!
This book publishes November 5.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
You can follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
March 21, 2020
4.5 stars
" . . . I slide a cigarette out, bringing it to my nose. It smells just like [Donato]. I fix the filter between my lips, tonguing it a little, just so I know what it tastes like. Starchy, slightly floral. The match makes a satisfying sound, a loud scratch. I inhale deeply. It tastes delicious. I get light-headed, but I don't put it out. I let it burn, like incense." -- Pricilla the protagonist, on page 58
Pricilla Manning is in her early 40's, a career-minded woman in movie production who is unmarried and childless. The daughter of an A-list director and a soap opera actress (who were often absentee parents), she put her life on hold to care for her father in his dying days. Now her needy mother is also in declining health, and the strain pushes Pricilla to flee to Rome per a convenient invitation from her brother-in-law Paul. Pricilla had a younger sister, Emily, who had passed away from illness prior to reaching middle-age. Emily's daughter Hannah is now in the throes of adolescence without a maternal influence, and Paul figures Pricilla could use a scenic trip as well as provide assistance.
But where's the catch or plot hook, you might ask. Well, when Pricilla arrives in sun-drenched Rome she quickly meets the neighbors of her brother-in-law. A local family of three, it consists of a kindly husband and wife (the husband is the brother-in-law's work colleague) and their seventeen year-old son Donatello, who likes to be called Donato. Donato is handsome, self-assured, and appears to be more worldly and experienced than an average American teenager given his differing cultural norms. Pricilla - who, except for one particularly long-running but unusual relationship, has likely directed her energies for romance elsewhere - falls into serious lust with him, and they begin a covert affair.
This was a nice slow-burn of an engrossing novel. A reader will likely question some of Pricilla's conduct and/or actions. Does she deserve this sudden and certainly unexpected burst of happiness and romantic contentment? Or is her common sense and maturity being overridden with her newly sparked desires? How will it all end, and can it possibly conclude on any note of positivity for all involved? (Gosh, I'm sounding like a soap opera narrator.) Other than getting just a little muddled in the final forty or so pages author Jacobs has delivered a solid sophomore effort. Maybe because it is quite a bit different than what I typically read, but I really enjoyed The Worst Kind of Want.
" . . . I slide a cigarette out, bringing it to my nose. It smells just like [Donato]. I fix the filter between my lips, tonguing it a little, just so I know what it tastes like. Starchy, slightly floral. The match makes a satisfying sound, a loud scratch. I inhale deeply. It tastes delicious. I get light-headed, but I don't put it out. I let it burn, like incense." -- Pricilla the protagonist, on page 58
Pricilla Manning is in her early 40's, a career-minded woman in movie production who is unmarried and childless. The daughter of an A-list director and a soap opera actress (who were often absentee parents), she put her life on hold to care for her father in his dying days. Now her needy mother is also in declining health, and the strain pushes Pricilla to flee to Rome per a convenient invitation from her brother-in-law Paul. Pricilla had a younger sister, Emily, who had passed away from illness prior to reaching middle-age. Emily's daughter Hannah is now in the throes of adolescence without a maternal influence, and Paul figures Pricilla could use a scenic trip as well as provide assistance.
But where's the catch or plot hook, you might ask. Well, when Pricilla arrives in sun-drenched Rome she quickly meets the neighbors of her brother-in-law. A local family of three, it consists of a kindly husband and wife (the husband is the brother-in-law's work colleague) and their seventeen year-old son Donatello, who likes to be called Donato. Donato is handsome, self-assured, and appears to be more worldly and experienced than an average American teenager given his differing cultural norms. Pricilla - who, except for one particularly long-running but unusual relationship, has likely directed her energies for romance elsewhere - falls into serious lust with him, and they begin a covert affair.
This was a nice slow-burn of an engrossing novel. A reader will likely question some of Pricilla's conduct and/or actions. Does she deserve this sudden and certainly unexpected burst of happiness and romantic contentment? Or is her common sense and maturity being overridden with her newly sparked desires? How will it all end, and can it possibly conclude on any note of positivity for all involved? (Gosh, I'm sounding like a soap opera narrator.) Other than getting just a little muddled in the final forty or so pages author Jacobs has delivered a solid sophomore effort. Maybe because it is quite a bit different than what I typically read, but I really enjoyed The Worst Kind of Want.
dnf
May 22, 2020DNF at 10%
Maybe readers who aren't Italian—or know very little about Italy—might be able to overlook the clichés and blunders in this novel. In this day and age, it's fairly easy to find out information about other countries. You could just ask on Quora....
The thing is that it is tone deaf: there are the occasional Italian words peppered here and there—I guess to give it a more 'genuine' flavour—but, for the most part, the way these Italian characters speak sounds false.
Jacobs applies English formulas to what the Italian characters are saying, for instance: English speakers would tell someone to mind their language by saying 'Language please!' or something of that sort. In Italy, no one would say 'Linguaggio!' and would likely say something along the lines of 'Fai attenzione a come parli' (which roughly translates to 'watch the way you speak'). My point is that the average Italian would likely translate word for word the Italian way of saying mind your language, and probably wouldn't be aware that in English people would say 'watch your language' or just 'language'. So if you have an Italian character, who isn't all that fluent in English, say in English 'Language!' it will strike Italian speakers as inaccurate. Additionally, I doubt many Italian women would refer to their teenage son's friend as 'mia cucciola' (a not widely used term of endearment that is more suited to small children, especially if they are related to you: ie. an aunty calling her 4-year-old nephew 'cucciolotto').
Why have the American girl—who has lived in Italy for a year or so—refer to her dad as 'Papa' which is not the correct spelling for 'dad' in Italian (dad is 'papà', pope is 'papa').
Another thing that annoyed me is that if the author tries to make her setting authentic by using the full names of certain Italian dishes (usually in italics) but couldn't lookup Italian names? 'Marie' is not an Italian name, 'Maria' is an Italian name. There are a lot of Italian names which are used only in certain regions of Italy, and often you can tell if a person comes from the South or the North of Italy through their name (I doubt there are many men who go by Tonio or Donato in Rome...).
Lastly, what is the point in saying that an Italian woman's English has a 'lilting accent. Like Fellini films, like postwar Italian actresses'. I'm fairly sure that Fellini films are not dubbed, but subbed, so the Italian actresses in those film would not be speaking an accented English, but their own language. And isn't saying that she sounded like an actress in old Italian films a bit of a cheap trick?
Maybe readers who aren't Italian—or know very little about Italy—might be able to overlook the clichés and blunders in this novel. In this day and age, it's fairly easy to find out information about other countries. You could just ask on Quora....
The thing is that it is tone deaf: there are the occasional Italian words peppered here and there—I guess to give it a more 'genuine' flavour—but, for the most part, the way these Italian characters speak sounds false.
Jacobs applies English formulas to what the Italian characters are saying, for instance: English speakers would tell someone to mind their language by saying 'Language please!' or something of that sort. In Italy, no one would say 'Linguaggio!' and would likely say something along the lines of 'Fai attenzione a come parli' (which roughly translates to 'watch the way you speak'). My point is that the average Italian would likely translate word for word the Italian way of saying mind your language, and probably wouldn't be aware that in English people would say 'watch your language' or just 'language'. So if you have an Italian character, who isn't all that fluent in English, say in English 'Language!' it will strike Italian speakers as inaccurate. Additionally, I doubt many Italian women would refer to their teenage son's friend as 'mia cucciola' (a not widely used term of endearment that is more suited to small children, especially if they are related to you: ie. an aunty calling her 4-year-old nephew 'cucciolotto').
Why have the American girl—who has lived in Italy for a year or so—refer to her dad as 'Papa' which is not the correct spelling for 'dad' in Italian (dad is 'papà', pope is 'papa').
Another thing that annoyed me is that if the author tries to make her setting authentic by using the full names of certain Italian dishes (usually in italics) but couldn't lookup Italian names? 'Marie' is not an Italian name, 'Maria' is an Italian name. There are a lot of Italian names which are used only in certain regions of Italy, and often you can tell if a person comes from the South or the North of Italy through their name (I doubt there are many men who go by Tonio or Donato in Rome...).
Lastly, what is the point in saying that an Italian woman's English has a 'lilting accent. Like Fellini films, like postwar Italian actresses'. I'm fairly sure that Fellini films are not dubbed, but subbed, so the Italian actresses in those film would not be speaking an accented English, but their own language. And isn't saying that she sounded like an actress in old Italian films a bit of a cheap trick?
March 24, 2020
This perfect self-isolation novel. Liska Jacobs has created a dangerous psychological tale following a woman caught up in the unnerving throes of middle age desire. It plays out like a house on fire against its luscious Italian background, like Under the Tuscan Sun gone darkly, desperately wrong.
In her first novel, Catalina, Liska Jacobs showed a taste for extremes and her best characters are these transgressive women who did not realize their potential for defiance and duplicity, but discover it had always been there. This novel proves her power as a bright-day noirist.
Cilia has been taking care of her demanding, unpleasant elderly mother, sitting with her in her depressing nursing home day after day, when she is urgently invited to Rome to care for the teenaged daughter of her recently deceased sister. She is grateful for the escape, although she and the sister had a complex relationship, and childless Cilia isn't exactly anyone's idea of a parental figure.
The love affair which blooms under the Roman sun with the wild-hair Italian boyfriend of the niece will keep you turning pages as Cilia gets her groove back, but so much more than she had bargained for.
In her first novel, Catalina, Liska Jacobs showed a taste for extremes and her best characters are these transgressive women who did not realize their potential for defiance and duplicity, but discover it had always been there. This novel proves her power as a bright-day noirist.
Cilia has been taking care of her demanding, unpleasant elderly mother, sitting with her in her depressing nursing home day after day, when she is urgently invited to Rome to care for the teenaged daughter of her recently deceased sister. She is grateful for the escape, although she and the sister had a complex relationship, and childless Cilia isn't exactly anyone's idea of a parental figure.
The love affair which blooms under the Roman sun with the wild-hair Italian boyfriend of the niece will keep you turning pages as Cilia gets her groove back, but so much more than she had bargained for.
June 21, 2019
Liska Jacobs second novel is again about a woman on the path of self-destruction and she writes this character well.
Cilla has spent many years of her life grieving the loss of her sister and taking care of her mother. Her longtime boyfriend, nearly 20 years her senior, is pursuing women half her age. Now pushing her mid 40s, she takes a trip to Italy to check up on her teenage niece, Hannah. While there, she gets swept up into an affair with Donato, a 17-year-old Italian boy who Hannah loves.
At a pivotal time in her life where Cilla is confronting a myriad of different things—death, childlessness, her own approaching menopause and the loss of her youth—Donato seems to fill the voids created by these uncomfortable realities.
But of course this fling is no more than a temporary distraction, and as it spirals out of control, Cilla is forced to reckon with the consequences of her actions and finally confront the grief she’s had bottled up all this time.
Though her decisions are obviously questionable, Cilla isn’t an entirely unlikeable character. In the face of the inevitable voids that expand throughout life, it’s sometimes impossible to avoid the allure of recklessness—any brief respite from the pain of reality.
Cilla has spent many years of her life grieving the loss of her sister and taking care of her mother. Her longtime boyfriend, nearly 20 years her senior, is pursuing women half her age. Now pushing her mid 40s, she takes a trip to Italy to check up on her teenage niece, Hannah. While there, she gets swept up into an affair with Donato, a 17-year-old Italian boy who Hannah loves.
At a pivotal time in her life where Cilla is confronting a myriad of different things—death, childlessness, her own approaching menopause and the loss of her youth—Donato seems to fill the voids created by these uncomfortable realities.
But of course this fling is no more than a temporary distraction, and as it spirals out of control, Cilla is forced to reckon with the consequences of her actions and finally confront the grief she’s had bottled up all this time.
Though her decisions are obviously questionable, Cilla isn’t an entirely unlikeable character. In the face of the inevitable voids that expand throughout life, it’s sometimes impossible to avoid the allure of recklessness—any brief respite from the pain of reality.
December 2, 2019
I loved the perspective that people have lust and want to be desire at any age. I found the ending highly rushed and affirming of negative gender norms about what happens when women do things they “shouldn’t” as well as weird message about sexual predators.
December 11, 2019
I am conflicted about assigning one star as I think to have one's book written and published is a great accomplishment. However, I truly did not like the book. I found it sophomoric. The dialogue was trite and boring. The flashbacks were not placed well or clearly. The surprises were not surprises because the foreshadowing was obvious and blatant. The one interesting part was the parallel between the narrator's experience of being prey to a predator 30 years older than her at 14 and maintaining the relationship for 30 years and her own attraction and affair at 43 years of age to a 17 year old. The sexual scenes are awkward and uninteresting. My experience of The Worst Kind of Want.
December 8, 2019
Disappointing.
An immature 40something year old going gaga
over a seventeen year old? Pathetic.
Not a good book.
An immature 40something year old going gaga
over a seventeen year old? Pathetic.
Not a good book.
July 2, 2019
3.5 rounded down
A great read for those hot summer days, The Worst Kind of Want follows Cilla on a trip to Rome. In her early forties and escaping from having to care for her deteriorating mother back in America, Cilla travels to Rome to spend time with her brother-in-law, Paul, and teenage niece, Hannah. During the heady summer days Cilla becomes embroiled in the life of Donato, an Italian teenager who has befriended her niece. Things spiral from here to an inevitable and dramatic conclusion.
Cilla's character was particularly well done in my view - a woman confronting her own ageing and her mother's decline in a way which was realistic and relatable but never cliched. On the strength of this I'll be looking to read more by Liska Jacobs.
Thank you Netgalley and Farrar, Straus and Giroux for the advance copy, which was provided in exchange for an honest review.
A great read for those hot summer days, The Worst Kind of Want follows Cilla on a trip to Rome. In her early forties and escaping from having to care for her deteriorating mother back in America, Cilla travels to Rome to spend time with her brother-in-law, Paul, and teenage niece, Hannah. During the heady summer days Cilla becomes embroiled in the life of Donato, an Italian teenager who has befriended her niece. Things spiral from here to an inevitable and dramatic conclusion.
Cilla's character was particularly well done in my view - a woman confronting her own ageing and her mother's decline in a way which was realistic and relatable but never cliched. On the strength of this I'll be looking to read more by Liska Jacobs.
Thank you Netgalley and Farrar, Straus and Giroux for the advance copy, which was provided in exchange for an honest review.
August 6, 2019
via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog.wordpress.com/
'I have not thought about my wants in so long that the flood of them makes me light-headed.'
Priscilla “Cilla” is only 43 but feels like life has aged her beyond her years, living with her mother whom is now in rehabilitation at a nursing home. Mother, needy, bitter and resentful, forcing her to placate her demands. Every visit feels like drudgery, reminding her of how stifling her life has become. Since the death of Cilla’s sister, her brother-in-law has lived with their daughter, her niece Hannah in Italy who is acting out, ‘Cilla, please. You will come, won’t you?’ It’s been a year since Hannah lost her mother, surely acting out is noraml, right? Yet if she goes, it would be an escape from the dullness of her life, but the idea of caring for yet another person is the kiss of death. Yet even the thought of ‘babysitting’ her fifteen year old niece is better than dealing with her impossible mother and her demands. It’s been a full year of dealing with her mother’s bottomless grief and ill health. Then there is her longtime boyfriend Guy, who spends his time directing tv series, once her own deceased father’s protégé who hungered after her all those years ago. He is distracted by all those young actresses dripping in dewy youth. How can she possibly shine by comparison when time takes it’s toll on the body? Italy it is!
Hannah is becoming quite the young woman, and with the son of family friends Donato’s attention she beams with youth and joy, infusing Cilla with life. Spending time with the pair feels like a seduction what with all the confidence, the freedom, indulging in the pleasures of Italy. Cilla is meant to be looking out for Hannah, keeping her on the straight and narrow, instead she is the one throwing caution off the cliff. Her adult confidence, and Hollywood ties makes her fascinating in Donato’s eyes.He longs to impress her, he is beautiful, could himself be a celebrity, right? Basking in the days and nights beside them feels erotic, as if she is going through a second awakening by accompanying the pair through their own. If she was a ‘better’ woman, she wouldn’t smudge the lines between moral and immoral, she wouldn’t succumb to the charm of a teenage boy but her body is so hungry, and the chemistry is electric, who would it really hurt if no one ever knows?
The scenery itself begs to be explored, it urges release, to abandon one’s every inhibition. She hasn’t given a thought to her own desires, needs in so long, how can anyone blame her for finally thinking of herself first? She should stop what is happening, but she doesn’t want to deny herself one second of it. “Romans love to have a good time at any age…”, so when in Rome… Why should she ‘behave’, nothing interesting comes of that, being old doesn’t make a person dead, we still long for the thrill of things.
Being around Hannah takes her back to the beginning of her relationship with the much older Guy. When she was ‘no longer a little girl but not yet a woman’, same phase her niece has entered, playing grownup. How easy it is to play at being a sexual creature, emulating womanhood. The carelessness of her own parents in the past, too much freedom for she and her sister,Hannah’s mother, youthful flirtations gone too far. Maybe Cilla isn’t the best choice in caging a teenager’s impulses, especially when in her shoes she didn’t cage her own. Maybe despite being so much older now, she is just as likely to jump into the lion’s mouth.
A woman will be punished for letting herself go, for indulging. Cilla isn’t going to be the dutiful aunt, she is going to taste life while she still can even if it could hurt those she is there to protect. Like so many human beings, despite what we know will follow, we still act on impulses. “How easy it is to ignore the darkness in the distance.” All she has is here and now, to focus on what could come of her ‘reckless abandon’ would be a betrayal, especial to herself. But indulgence and deception always comes at a price, is considered downright criminal when a woman of a certain age misbehaves. It’s an indulgent and shameful novel, as most things we know better than to partake of are and engaging because of it. We know the entire time, this isn’t going to end well.
Publication Date: November 5, 2019
Farrar, Straus and Giroux
'I have not thought about my wants in so long that the flood of them makes me light-headed.'
Priscilla “Cilla” is only 43 but feels like life has aged her beyond her years, living with her mother whom is now in rehabilitation at a nursing home. Mother, needy, bitter and resentful, forcing her to placate her demands. Every visit feels like drudgery, reminding her of how stifling her life has become. Since the death of Cilla’s sister, her brother-in-law has lived with their daughter, her niece Hannah in Italy who is acting out, ‘Cilla, please. You will come, won’t you?’ It’s been a year since Hannah lost her mother, surely acting out is noraml, right? Yet if she goes, it would be an escape from the dullness of her life, but the idea of caring for yet another person is the kiss of death. Yet even the thought of ‘babysitting’ her fifteen year old niece is better than dealing with her impossible mother and her demands. It’s been a full year of dealing with her mother’s bottomless grief and ill health. Then there is her longtime boyfriend Guy, who spends his time directing tv series, once her own deceased father’s protégé who hungered after her all those years ago. He is distracted by all those young actresses dripping in dewy youth. How can she possibly shine by comparison when time takes it’s toll on the body? Italy it is!
Hannah is becoming quite the young woman, and with the son of family friends Donato’s attention she beams with youth and joy, infusing Cilla with life. Spending time with the pair feels like a seduction what with all the confidence, the freedom, indulging in the pleasures of Italy. Cilla is meant to be looking out for Hannah, keeping her on the straight and narrow, instead she is the one throwing caution off the cliff. Her adult confidence, and Hollywood ties makes her fascinating in Donato’s eyes.He longs to impress her, he is beautiful, could himself be a celebrity, right? Basking in the days and nights beside them feels erotic, as if she is going through a second awakening by accompanying the pair through their own. If she was a ‘better’ woman, she wouldn’t smudge the lines between moral and immoral, she wouldn’t succumb to the charm of a teenage boy but her body is so hungry, and the chemistry is electric, who would it really hurt if no one ever knows?
The scenery itself begs to be explored, it urges release, to abandon one’s every inhibition. She hasn’t given a thought to her own desires, needs in so long, how can anyone blame her for finally thinking of herself first? She should stop what is happening, but she doesn’t want to deny herself one second of it. “Romans love to have a good time at any age…”, so when in Rome… Why should she ‘behave’, nothing interesting comes of that, being old doesn’t make a person dead, we still long for the thrill of things.
Being around Hannah takes her back to the beginning of her relationship with the much older Guy. When she was ‘no longer a little girl but not yet a woman’, same phase her niece has entered, playing grownup. How easy it is to play at being a sexual creature, emulating womanhood. The carelessness of her own parents in the past, too much freedom for she and her sister,Hannah’s mother, youthful flirtations gone too far. Maybe Cilla isn’t the best choice in caging a teenager’s impulses, especially when in her shoes she didn’t cage her own. Maybe despite being so much older now, she is just as likely to jump into the lion’s mouth.
A woman will be punished for letting herself go, for indulging. Cilla isn’t going to be the dutiful aunt, she is going to taste life while she still can even if it could hurt those she is there to protect. Like so many human beings, despite what we know will follow, we still act on impulses. “How easy it is to ignore the darkness in the distance.” All she has is here and now, to focus on what could come of her ‘reckless abandon’ would be a betrayal, especial to herself. But indulgence and deception always comes at a price, is considered downright criminal when a woman of a certain age misbehaves. It’s an indulgent and shameful novel, as most things we know better than to partake of are and engaging because of it. We know the entire time, this isn’t going to end well.
Publication Date: November 5, 2019
Farrar, Straus and Giroux
July 10, 2019
Full disclosure: Liska Jacobs is a good friend.
Liska Jacobs writes bad women well. Fans of her 2017 novel, Catalina already know this; there's a thrill in watching her heroines self-destruct. In her newest book, The Worst Kind of Want, Jacobs delivers again. Priscilla Messing is a 43-year-old former producer living in Los Angeles in the shadow of her parents' celebrity. Rejecting the doldrums of caring for her ailing mother, she escapes to Italy, ostensibly to help her widowed brother-in-law with her teenage niece, Hannah. But balmy Italian nights and sea air awaken something within Priscilla. Jacobs writes about the Italian ruins and landscape with a humming, sexual energy. Priscilla is transformed: she entertains reckless lust while ignoring responsibility and familial obligation. She's another beautiful trainwreck. You won't be able to look away.
Liska Jacobs writes bad women well. Fans of her 2017 novel, Catalina already know this; there's a thrill in watching her heroines self-destruct. In her newest book, The Worst Kind of Want, Jacobs delivers again. Priscilla Messing is a 43-year-old former producer living in Los Angeles in the shadow of her parents' celebrity. Rejecting the doldrums of caring for her ailing mother, she escapes to Italy, ostensibly to help her widowed brother-in-law with her teenage niece, Hannah. But balmy Italian nights and sea air awaken something within Priscilla. Jacobs writes about the Italian ruins and landscape with a humming, sexual energy. Priscilla is transformed: she entertains reckless lust while ignoring responsibility and familial obligation. She's another beautiful trainwreck. You won't be able to look away.
June 7, 2019
Priscilla has been asked by his brother-in-law to spend time with him and his troubled daughter in Italy. Priscilla jumps at the chance because she wants to get away from her overbearing mother and her ex-boyfriend. Italy provides plenty of distraction in the form of a young Italian who happens to be the crush of her niece. Sexy, atmospheric and flanked by a flawed and complex character, this is great for fans of Delia Ephron or Matthew Weiner.
Thanks to the publisher for a review copy.
Thanks to the publisher for a review copy.
June 1, 2023
“nothing changes adult relationships quicker than when their children are involved.”
a haunting, human exploration of the choices people make out of grief and the fall out of said choices. this is my second novel i’ve read by liska jacobs (the first being her 2022 release, the pink hotel, which i recommend to lovers of the white lotus, nine perfect strangers, the disaster tourist by yun ko-eun, climax (2018), infinity pool (2023)), and i am very quickly becoming a fan of her writing and the characters, themes, and situations she explores in her stories. she writes messy, flawed characters in a way that makes them feel like people you know in your every day life outside of the page. the ones who make questionable choices to feel something, anything, drowning in all-consuming numbing grief. the last 10% of the novel was unexpected but ended in a place that truly hit me deep in my core memories of grief and mourning. the way jacobs writes yearning and nostalgia makes me feel like i’m floating through a sunny spring sky on a fluffy cloud, no matter how dark and twisty the turns the story takes. it’s a superpower.
not going to be for everyone.
for readers who enjoyed:
* call me by your name by andre aciman
* call me by your name (2017)
* the lost daughter by elena ferrante
* the lost daughter (2021)
* luster by raven leilani
* mrs. caliban by rachel ingalls
* murina (2022)
* the pisces by melissa broder
* the souvenir trilogy
* tampa by alissa nutting
* under the tuscan sun (2003)
* vladimir: a novel by julia may jones
a haunting, human exploration of the choices people make out of grief and the fall out of said choices. this is my second novel i’ve read by liska jacobs (the first being her 2022 release, the pink hotel, which i recommend to lovers of the white lotus, nine perfect strangers, the disaster tourist by yun ko-eun, climax (2018), infinity pool (2023)), and i am very quickly becoming a fan of her writing and the characters, themes, and situations she explores in her stories. she writes messy, flawed characters in a way that makes them feel like people you know in your every day life outside of the page. the ones who make questionable choices to feel something, anything, drowning in all-consuming numbing grief. the last 10% of the novel was unexpected but ended in a place that truly hit me deep in my core memories of grief and mourning. the way jacobs writes yearning and nostalgia makes me feel like i’m floating through a sunny spring sky on a fluffy cloud, no matter how dark and twisty the turns the story takes. it’s a superpower.
not going to be for everyone.
for readers who enjoyed:
* call me by your name by andre aciman
* call me by your name (2017)
* the lost daughter by elena ferrante
* the lost daughter (2021)
* luster by raven leilani
* mrs. caliban by rachel ingalls
* murina (2022)
* the pisces by melissa broder
* the souvenir trilogy
* tampa by alissa nutting
* under the tuscan sun (2003)
* vladimir: a novel by julia may jones
December 6, 2019
I began the book hopeful yet as it progressed and 'Zia Cilla' falls apart piece by piece, it was predictable and uninteresting. I most definitely thought the ending was a shoddy way to end the conflict between her, her niece and the young man- EASY WAY OUT.
May 11, 2019
A woman gives in to her dark, and very human, impulses in this twisted, compelling, and ultimately moving novel. The writing is excellent, reminding me of Deborah Levy and Michel Houellebecq.
November 16, 2019
Utter drivel.
August 9, 2023
This was a rough one.
December 9, 2021
Priscilla "Cilla" Messing was born into a well-known Hollywood family, but her life is now very different than it used to be. Her father and sister, Emily, are dead and she is the sole caretaker for her mother who is temporarily confined to a rehabilitative facility. When one of the nurses mistakes the 43-year-old Cilla for her mother's sister rather than daughter, she considers how such a thing would never have happened to her much more conventionally beautiful sister, Emily, who has only been dead a year. That reminder of her sister becomes almost prescient because shortly thereafter, Cilla's brother-in-law calls from Italy to ask for her help with, Hannah, her niece who seems very much in danger of going off the rails and becoming far too wild.
Italy--away from Hollywood and her mother's illness and other difficult memories--seems like the perfect plan and Cilla eagerly accepts, leaving her mother in the care of her doctors and Guy, Cilla's much older former lover. Once she arrives in Italy, rather than helping to calm her 15-year-old niece down, Cilla gets drawn into her wild life and wide circle of friends, including into the sphere of the strangely magnetic 17-year-old Donato. Somehow, through the long nights, drinking, dancing and flirtation, Cilla begins to lose her very tenuous grasp on control of her life, and must come to terms with what she's become, who she once was, and what she's lost.
While the story was compelling and the writing pretty close to flawless, this felt like a very long short story elongated for purposes of producing a novel. The same situations and realizations played out over and over again, just in new, picturesque Italian locales that showcased the author's ability to create a strong sense of place. By about the midpoint, Cilla had already reached her epiphany (as does the reader) and there seemed to be no further character development or exposition to be had. Still, the book carried on and produced the inevitable climax which felt by then unnecessary.
Recommended for readers of literary and character-driven fiction. Though this was a three-star read for me, it seems unlikely bordering on impossible that an author of this talent produced a "bad" book, so I plan to read her debut novel, 'Catalina'. Another one about a woman ruining and then trying to recover herself. Yay!
Italy--away from Hollywood and her mother's illness and other difficult memories--seems like the perfect plan and Cilla eagerly accepts, leaving her mother in the care of her doctors and Guy, Cilla's much older former lover. Once she arrives in Italy, rather than helping to calm her 15-year-old niece down, Cilla gets drawn into her wild life and wide circle of friends, including into the sphere of the strangely magnetic 17-year-old Donato. Somehow, through the long nights, drinking, dancing and flirtation, Cilla begins to lose her very tenuous grasp on control of her life, and must come to terms with what she's become, who she once was, and what she's lost.
While the story was compelling and the writing pretty close to flawless, this felt like a very long short story elongated for purposes of producing a novel. The same situations and realizations played out over and over again, just in new, picturesque Italian locales that showcased the author's ability to create a strong sense of place. By about the midpoint, Cilla had already reached her epiphany (as does the reader) and there seemed to be no further character development or exposition to be had. Still, the book carried on and produced the inevitable climax which felt by then unnecessary.
Recommended for readers of literary and character-driven fiction. Though this was a three-star read for me, it seems unlikely bordering on impossible that an author of this talent produced a "bad" book, so I plan to read her debut novel, 'Catalina'. Another one about a woman ruining and then trying to recover herself. Yay!
March 29, 2020
Meet cool, calm and collected Pricilla (Cilla) Messing, a woman for whom her upcoming trip to Italy will hopefully be a brief break from a life that has gone into free-fall.
Cilla, 43, spends most of her time caring for her difficult mum. Following a plea from her brother-in-law Paul, an author, to oversee her rebellious teenage niece, Hannah who has become wayward and unruly she heads off to Rome. But rather than babysitting Hannah, Cilla feels that the time has come to let her hair down a little. So she throws herself into Hannah's impetuous world of dancing, smoking, and drinking, relishing the heady atmosphere of the Italian summer. After years of feeling burnt out and overlooked, Cilla gradually starts to think she has rediscovered life. But being so close to Hannah resurrects complicated memories, making Cilla restless and increasingly foolhardy...
In The Worst Kind of Want Liska Jacobs imagery was vivid and poetic and she created some interestingly complex, flawed characters. For me, Cilla's character was particularly well done - a woman confronting her ageing and her mother's decline, told in a manner in which I was able to relate. This was a nice slow-burning and engrossing novel and I'll be looking to read more by Liska Jacobs.
I received a complimentary digital copy of this novel, at my request, from Farrar, Straus and Giroux via NetGalley. This review is my own unbiased opinion.
Cilla, 43, spends most of her time caring for her difficult mum. Following a plea from her brother-in-law Paul, an author, to oversee her rebellious teenage niece, Hannah who has become wayward and unruly she heads off to Rome. But rather than babysitting Hannah, Cilla feels that the time has come to let her hair down a little. So she throws herself into Hannah's impetuous world of dancing, smoking, and drinking, relishing the heady atmosphere of the Italian summer. After years of feeling burnt out and overlooked, Cilla gradually starts to think she has rediscovered life. But being so close to Hannah resurrects complicated memories, making Cilla restless and increasingly foolhardy...
In The Worst Kind of Want Liska Jacobs imagery was vivid and poetic and she created some interestingly complex, flawed characters. For me, Cilla's character was particularly well done - a woman confronting her ageing and her mother's decline, told in a manner in which I was able to relate. This was a nice slow-burning and engrossing novel and I'll be looking to read more by Liska Jacobs.
I received a complimentary digital copy of this novel, at my request, from Farrar, Straus and Giroux via NetGalley. This review is my own unbiased opinion.
July 13, 2022
2 stars? 2.5?
This was okay. I liked the writing, especially the physical descriptions (I love grotesque but real descriptions of bodies!), but the timeline was hard to follow and it didn’t feel like much happened despite all the scandal. The main character was awful, which is fine, but there wasn’t much to make up for that to keep me interested.
✧ ✧ ✧
≪reading 31 books for 31 days of july≫
╰┈➤ 1. intimacies by katie kitamura
╰┈➤ 2. convenience store woman by sayaka murata
╰┈➤ 3. shout by laurie halse anderson
╰┈➤ 4. lemon by kwon yeo-sun
╰┈➤ 5. here the whole time by vitor martins
╰┈➤ 6. i’m still here: black dignity in a world made for whiteness by austin channing brown
╰┈➤ 7. the worst kind of want by liska jacobs
This was okay. I liked the writing, especially the physical descriptions (I love grotesque but real descriptions of bodies!), but the timeline was hard to follow and it didn’t feel like much happened despite all the scandal. The main character was awful, which is fine, but there wasn’t much to make up for that to keep me interested.
✧ ✧ ✧
≪reading 31 books for 31 days of july≫
╰┈➤ 1. intimacies by katie kitamura
╰┈➤ 2. convenience store woman by sayaka murata
╰┈➤ 3. shout by laurie halse anderson
╰┈➤ 4. lemon by kwon yeo-sun
╰┈➤ 5. here the whole time by vitor martins
╰┈➤ 6. i’m still here: black dignity in a world made for whiteness by austin channing brown
╰┈➤ 7. the worst kind of want by liska jacobs
June 21, 2019
I absolutely loved Liska Jacob’s first novel, Catalina - so I was super excited to receive an advance copy of her upcoming book in exchange for an honest review.
The description: A trip to Italy reignites a woman’s desires to disastrous effect in this dark ode to womanhood, death and sex.
There’s something special about Jacob’s writing. It‘s sinister and a little tense... the characters are complex and though I didn’t necessarily relate to them, I was intrigued. Similar to how she portrayed Catalina in her first novel, Italy acted as more of a character throughout the story than s simple location, and it made me want to book a trip there ASAP.
I will say it irrationally irked me how much she referenced the noise of cicadas as a setting description... no less than 25 times.
But overall - really enjoyed. There were hints of Catalina in this one - good in the sense I could tell they were the same author, but not so much that it felt like reading the same book twice.
The description: A trip to Italy reignites a woman’s desires to disastrous effect in this dark ode to womanhood, death and sex.
There’s something special about Jacob’s writing. It‘s sinister and a little tense... the characters are complex and though I didn’t necessarily relate to them, I was intrigued. Similar to how she portrayed Catalina in her first novel, Italy acted as more of a character throughout the story than s simple location, and it made me want to book a trip there ASAP.
I will say it irrationally irked me how much she referenced the noise of cicadas as a setting description... no less than 25 times.
But overall - really enjoyed. There were hints of Catalina in this one - good in the sense I could tell they were the same author, but not so much that it felt like reading the same book twice.
November 11, 2019
The Worst Kind of Want
The magic of Italy sparks Pricilla way more than it should for a forty something woman that feels the need to let loose. After years of caring for her mother and the death of her sister, Cilla is asked by her brother in law to come to Italy and care for her teenaged niece. Once their Cilla bounces back to her youth and starts partying. Reckless,thoughtless behavior and the consequences of it. I could feel Cilla's pain. The wedge between right and wrong, desire and disaster. This is a complicated and seriously compelling read. It's so much more than you expect.
Dawnny- BookGypsy
Novels N Latte
Hudson Valley NY
The magic of Italy sparks Pricilla way more than it should for a forty something woman that feels the need to let loose. After years of caring for her mother and the death of her sister, Cilla is asked by her brother in law to come to Italy and care for her teenaged niece. Once their Cilla bounces back to her youth and starts partying. Reckless,thoughtless behavior and the consequences of it. I could feel Cilla's pain. The wedge between right and wrong, desire and disaster. This is a complicated and seriously compelling read. It's so much more than you expect.
Dawnny- BookGypsy
Novels N Latte
Hudson Valley NY
November 4, 2024
Do you like your guilty pleasures very, very smart, with psychological depth? Then you want to read The Worst Kind of Want . It's a story of forbidden, too-taboo-to-speak-of desire. But she does speak about it, with depth and honesty and nuance. If you want permission to feel your most secret desires and live vicariously through this troubled, transgressive protagonist, you've found the right book. It's also set in Italy and you feel like you are there, smoking those forbidden cigarettes on a balcony and aching for something you most definitely shouldn't have.
November 23, 2019
This was touted as a mix of Ottessa Moshfegh and Patricia Highsmith, and although it wasn't that, I do think it would appeal to those readers. It's about the self-destructive downward spiral of a woman in her 40's dealing with grief. I found the last page very, very affecting, and it changed my understanding of the whole novel.
April 2, 2021
Gorgeous writing, brutally real characters, and a plot that drags you down with it. You've got to be in a certain kind of mood. I was, so I loved it.
Cilla doesn't know what's gone wrong with her life, but she knows she wants it to change. But the way you change your life when you don't know what's gone wrong with it can be a worse disaster than staying the same.
Cilla doesn't know what's gone wrong with her life, but she knows she wants it to change. But the way you change your life when you don't know what's gone wrong with it can be a worse disaster than staying the same.
January 9, 2024
Strange scenes and strange ending
July 12, 2024
what the fuck did i just read im speechless
December 12, 2019
Much darker than I was expecting. Not a feel-good beach read, but the author has a deft, relateable touch.
December 27, 2025
some strong positives but ultimately overshadowed by strong, worse negatives at the end
October 24, 2019
If you like something dark yet clever that will make your head spin so you think about some real stuff... I would highly recommend this novel for you.
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