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155 pages, Paperback
First published February 19, 2019
This was like a word problem, right? I had seventeen cantaloupes, and the answer was going to be sodium or some shit.








“If you didn't know what this club was, you'd just assume it was a place for hot girls and their well-groomed boyfriends to hang out.”Then, as I very much recognized Jordan's newbie gay behavior, sweet Jesus, I was sitting on my hands and gritting my teeth as I read.
“Yeah…uh…is clipping your eyebrows a thing now?” Brandon asked, tugging at his. “I am having major brow anxiety in this place.”
[Then a short time later...]
“He's coming over,” Dominic added helpfully, and I felt my stomach do a backflip.
“How do I look?” I asked Brandon in a panic.
He inspected my face slowly. “Well your eyebrows could use some work.”
“I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIRE!” I raged when he burst out laughing.
“If you didn't know what this club was, you'd just assume it was a place for hot girls and their well-groomed boyfriends to hang out.”Then, as I very much recognized Jordan's newbie gay behavior, sweet Jesus, I was sitting on my hands and gritting my teeth as I read.
“Yeah…uh…is clipping your eyebrows a thing now?” Brandon asked, tugging at his. “I am having major brow anxiety in this place.”
[Then a short time later...]
“He's coming over,” Dominic added helpfully, and I felt my stomach do a backflip.
“How do I look?” I asked Brandon in a panic.
He inspected my face slowly. “Well your eyebrows could use some work.”
“I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIRE!” I raged when he burst out laughing.
"Were you never 16? You never just met someone you liked and wanted to forget life for a while and just lay one on them?"
“This time, these couple of years before college, this is when we're supposed to learn how to do all this crap. Date, go out, break up, cry, scream, rage, find someone else, everything. And if you don't learn how to chill now, then you will be a basket case in college and I am not having you mess up our game.”



