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No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone
In essays written with humor and wit, Kendrick reimagines what it means to be “a good black woman”—from women choosing never to have children to mothers regretting their choice to have them, from being a lonely black atheist to conquering loneliness as a single woman in a foreign country—and, in the process, challenges the expectation that black women serve as noble martyrs or sacrificial lambs.
Through eight humorous essays, Keturah Kendrick chronicles her journey to freedom. She shares the stories of other women who have freed themselves from the narrow definition of what makes a “proper woman.” Spotlighting the cultural bullying that dictates women must become mothers to the expectation that one’s spiritual path follow the traditions of previous generations, Kendrick imagines a world where black women make life choices that center on their needs and desires. She also examines the rising trend of women choosing to remain single and explores how such a choice is the antithesis to the trope of the sorrowful black woman who cannot find a man to grant her the prize of legal partnership. A mixture of memoir and cultural critique, No Thanks uses wit and insight to paint a picture of the twenty-first-century black woman who has unchained herself from what she is supposed to be. A black woman who has given herself permission to be whomever she wants to be.
Through eight humorous essays, Keturah Kendrick chronicles her journey to freedom. She shares the stories of other women who have freed themselves from the narrow definition of what makes a “proper woman.” Spotlighting the cultural bullying that dictates women must become mothers to the expectation that one’s spiritual path follow the traditions of previous generations, Kendrick imagines a world where black women make life choices that center on their needs and desires. She also examines the rising trend of women choosing to remain single and explores how such a choice is the antithesis to the trope of the sorrowful black woman who cannot find a man to grant her the prize of legal partnership. A mixture of memoir and cultural critique, No Thanks uses wit and insight to paint a picture of the twenty-first-century black woman who has unchained herself from what she is supposed to be. A black woman who has given herself permission to be whomever she wants to be.
- GenresNonfiction
184 pages, Paperback
First published June 18, 2019
67 people are currently reading
303 people want to read
About the author
Keturah Kendrick
2 books6 followersTo call her Keturah Kendrick only opens the door of discovery to this woman who cannot be defined by a name or set of expectations. While she’s a passionate teacher to her students, she’s also an inspiring writer to her readers. She fulfills her life mission as an ambassador of freedom to black women, living and loving life beyond boundaries in order to create peace.
A native of New Orleans, Louisiana, Keturah Kendrick’s home is the world. As a child of the south, she grew up receiving persistent and pervasive messages about her limitations as a girl and her deficiencies as an African American. However, the fires of destiny continually kept those poisonous messages at bay. When introduced to inspiring Black women authors, the fire was reignited and she knew her home could not confine her desire to soar. She was meant to be an unmarried Black woman, absent of children, living a joy-filled, fulfilling life as a resident of the world. Since then, she hasn’t looked back!
Having lived on three continents, Keturah Kendrick presently lives between Shanghai, China and New York City. She chronicles her life and those of ordinary Black women living extraordinary lives on her cutting-edge podcast, Unchained. Unbothered. Beginning its second season, Unchained. Unbothered. features women from all walks of life who find common ground in their perspectives on 21st century Black womanhood. Episodes feature interviews from an eclectic array of women representing a plethora of diverse lifestyles. While all sharing different experiences, each woman interviewed lays bare her challenges, triumphs, contradictions, pleasures and everything in between.
Keturah’s upcoming book project, No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone (She Writes Press: June, 2019), is a collection of essays chronicling her challenges and reflections on living while Black, woman, single and childfree around the globe. On the African continent she was considered “the crazy American woman!” On the Asian continent, she was just “too much altogether!” Even in her American home, she was not quite the epitome of “good Black womanhood.” From page to page, voyage vicariously around the world as Keturah claims her freedom and lives unapologetically in it. Each discovery and rich revelation is sure to challenge your concept of what it means to be enough for yourself and others.
Whether teaching, speaking, or simply reaching women with her quick wit and discerning style, Keturah Kendrick represents one of this century’s most significant thought leaders. Overall, her chief aim is to let each person know:
A native of New Orleans, Louisiana, Keturah Kendrick’s home is the world. As a child of the south, she grew up receiving persistent and pervasive messages about her limitations as a girl and her deficiencies as an African American. However, the fires of destiny continually kept those poisonous messages at bay. When introduced to inspiring Black women authors, the fire was reignited and she knew her home could not confine her desire to soar. She was meant to be an unmarried Black woman, absent of children, living a joy-filled, fulfilling life as a resident of the world. Since then, she hasn’t looked back!
Having lived on three continents, Keturah Kendrick presently lives between Shanghai, China and New York City. She chronicles her life and those of ordinary Black women living extraordinary lives on her cutting-edge podcast, Unchained. Unbothered. Beginning its second season, Unchained. Unbothered. features women from all walks of life who find common ground in their perspectives on 21st century Black womanhood. Episodes feature interviews from an eclectic array of women representing a plethora of diverse lifestyles. While all sharing different experiences, each woman interviewed lays bare her challenges, triumphs, contradictions, pleasures and everything in between.
Keturah’s upcoming book project, No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone (She Writes Press: June, 2019), is a collection of essays chronicling her challenges and reflections on living while Black, woman, single and childfree around the globe. On the African continent she was considered “the crazy American woman!” On the Asian continent, she was just “too much altogether!” Even in her American home, she was not quite the epitome of “good Black womanhood.” From page to page, voyage vicariously around the world as Keturah claims her freedom and lives unapologetically in it. Each discovery and rich revelation is sure to challenge your concept of what it means to be enough for yourself and others.
Whether teaching, speaking, or simply reaching women with her quick wit and discerning style, Keturah Kendrick represents one of this century’s most significant thought leaders. Overall, her chief aim is to let each person know:
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
June 16, 2020
4.5
“I wrote this book because twenty years ago I needed to read it.”
From the first line of this book, I was hooked. It was the perfect mix of memoir and cultural critique. In fact, I found it so interesting I devoured it in an afternoon. I loved that this book was focused on how Kendrick did it her way, saying no to the traditional expectations of motherhood, marriage, religion, and more.
Though I read it relatively quickly, so many parts of this book have stayed with me. I loved this book about feminism, culture and eschewing the norms. I loved how candidly Kendrick described her experiences as a Black woman and the expectations put on her. This one is a must read, especially for young women trying to figure out what they want from life and feeling stuck.
(I received a copy in exchange for my honest review.)
“I wrote this book because twenty years ago I needed to read it.”
From the first line of this book, I was hooked. It was the perfect mix of memoir and cultural critique. In fact, I found it so interesting I devoured it in an afternoon. I loved that this book was focused on how Kendrick did it her way, saying no to the traditional expectations of motherhood, marriage, religion, and more.
Though I read it relatively quickly, so many parts of this book have stayed with me. I loved this book about feminism, culture and eschewing the norms. I loved how candidly Kendrick described her experiences as a Black woman and the expectations put on her. This one is a must read, especially for young women trying to figure out what they want from life and feeling stuck.
(I received a copy in exchange for my honest review.)
October 6, 2022
For essays about rejecting motherhood and Christianity and about living abroad, this collection was surprisingly unresonating. There's an unnecessary and specific march of 'this is what tools of the patriarchy would say'. Keturah confronts cultural confines except for those that work for her, with a blind spot for capitalist values. The worth of other humans in her life are weighed up transactionally. You're out of the running if you hold the wrong passport. And she takes a general jab at 'overweight and homely' women as more obviously having nothing to offer beyond a green card.
'What the Wound Reveals' was the most personally evocative in addressing the acceptance of mediocre friendships when you're young, inexperienced and/or out of your element.
She refers to Black atheist and secular humanist groups and shares conversations with friends, scholars, and community leaders that some readers may find a support.
'What the Wound Reveals' was the most personally evocative in addressing the acceptance of mediocre friendships when you're young, inexperienced and/or out of your element.
She refers to Black atheist and secular humanist groups and shares conversations with friends, scholars, and community leaders that some readers may find a support.
July 10, 2020
Loved everything about it -- except, sigh, the implementation.
Chapter One captivated me: wow and wow, there was so much YES in each page! So many of the important foundations of a good life, all of which are so hard to discover in this culture: you do not need to conform to your parents' expectations; do not need to "stay close to family" in order to serve them. You do not need to marry, do not need to breed, do not need to worship violent and petulant hate-filled (also nonexistent) sky-gods. Learning to question, think, and say No is the most respectful and self-loving act you can take; it is more likely to lead to a fulfilling life than if you quietly follow social norms. I was all set to buy copies for all my young relatives.
Then I found myself struggling. Little things at first, rereading paragraphs or going back a page because it was taking me a while to understand the context. I shrugged and blamed myself. Then more and more impenetrable sentences, baffling metaphors, or missed segues. Occasionally instances where, upon spending much effort, I'd realize "oh, this is an editing error, I bet she means this other word." After enough of those, and the final chapter which is entirely about TV shows and is completely incomprehensible to someone with no TV, I stopped blaming myself. I regretfully conclude that Kendrick is an amazing person, wise and kind and with much to say, but her way of writing does not work for me, and it's entirely my loss.
Chapter One captivated me: wow and wow, there was so much YES in each page! So many of the important foundations of a good life, all of which are so hard to discover in this culture: you do not need to conform to your parents' expectations; do not need to "stay close to family" in order to serve them. You do not need to marry, do not need to breed, do not need to worship violent and petulant hate-filled (also nonexistent) sky-gods. Learning to question, think, and say No is the most respectful and self-loving act you can take; it is more likely to lead to a fulfilling life than if you quietly follow social norms. I was all set to buy copies for all my young relatives.
Then I found myself struggling. Little things at first, rereading paragraphs or going back a page because it was taking me a while to understand the context. I shrugged and blamed myself. Then more and more impenetrable sentences, baffling metaphors, or missed segues. Occasionally instances where, upon spending much effort, I'd realize "oh, this is an editing error, I bet she means this other word." After enough of those, and the final chapter which is entirely about TV shows and is completely incomprehensible to someone with no TV, I stopped blaming myself. I regretfully conclude that Kendrick is an amazing person, wise and kind and with much to say, but her way of writing does not work for me, and it's entirely my loss.
December 12, 2020
The "About the Author" section at the end of the book includes the claim that "Kendrick seeks to widen the narrivative of good black womanhood." Well she has done that exceedingly well within the covers of this book. She has such a wonderful way with words that this book, especially being such a quick read, would have been worth consuming for her wit alone. But beyond this, she delivers potent truths with the pizazz of your older auntie who's been around the world, seen some things, and come out much wiser for it.
I'd say this book is a must-read for two specific categories of people: those anticipating moving abroad, and Black women (like me) who plan to remain childfree. Beyond that, it will be valuable and enlightening reading to everyone, especially those who struggle to understand people in the aforementioned categories. With this book, Keturah reminds us "unicorns" that we are not alone, that being single is not equivalent to solitude, and there are many valid paths to happiness. Most impressively, she managed to do all of this without coming off as "preachy" at any moment.
Actually, I am expanding the list of "must-readers" to include young women who are still figuring out what they want their lives' trajectories to be. Let them read it so that they know there are different options for womanhood, and choosing themselves is one of them.
I'd say this book is a must-read for two specific categories of people: those anticipating moving abroad, and Black women (like me) who plan to remain childfree. Beyond that, it will be valuable and enlightening reading to everyone, especially those who struggle to understand people in the aforementioned categories. With this book, Keturah reminds us "unicorns" that we are not alone, that being single is not equivalent to solitude, and there are many valid paths to happiness. Most impressively, she managed to do all of this without coming off as "preachy" at any moment.
Actually, I am expanding the list of "must-readers" to include young women who are still figuring out what they want their lives' trajectories to be. Let them read it so that they know there are different options for womanhood, and choosing themselves is one of them.
March 20, 2019
I was lucky enough to receive an advanced review copy of "No Thanks" from
the author.
Within the first chapter I paused in excitement and wanted to press the book
into the hands of my nieces and younger cousins. I am looking forward to
the day that I hear back from them that my pre-order in their names has
appeared in their mailbox. What is this, they will ask?
This is the story of a black woman on the journey to freedom, I may say.
No--that sounds too esoteric.
This is a book that tells you how to answer those relatives who keep asking
when you plan to get married. No--that sounds far too specific. That topic
only comes up once even though the issue of patriarchy is addressed often.
Listen--the mainstream often lavishes praise on books about women's
self-actualization. The focus is on interior change and rarely addresses
how a feminist outlook will affect your day-to-day life. Especially in the
African-American community which can be close or controlling, supportive or
manipulative. Keturah deftly describes her own journey and passes her
highlighted notes on to any who might follow. You can preorder at https://www.amazon.com/No-Thanks-Fema...
the author.
Within the first chapter I paused in excitement and wanted to press the book
into the hands of my nieces and younger cousins. I am looking forward to
the day that I hear back from them that my pre-order in their names has
appeared in their mailbox. What is this, they will ask?
This is the story of a black woman on the journey to freedom, I may say.
No--that sounds too esoteric.
This is a book that tells you how to answer those relatives who keep asking
when you plan to get married. No--that sounds far too specific. That topic
only comes up once even though the issue of patriarchy is addressed often.
Listen--the mainstream often lavishes praise on books about women's
self-actualization. The focus is on interior change and rarely addresses
how a feminist outlook will affect your day-to-day life. Especially in the
African-American community which can be close or controlling, supportive or
manipulative. Keturah deftly describes her own journey and passes her
highlighted notes on to any who might follow. You can preorder at https://www.amazon.com/No-Thanks-Fema...
January 5, 2020
While the target audience for this book is black women, as a white woman, I found it fascinating and related to many of the points she made. I also found it enlightening as I was not aware of the social pressures black women face in their communities about having children, following religion, and putting men first, several of the topics she touches on. These were many of the same issues I dealt with growing up in the 60's and 70's and now I have a better understanding of why they say that women's liberation of that era did not include black women.
This is a well written and researched book, drawing from both the author's personal experiences as well as many others she interviewed, and research that was conducted that she references. I loved her voice and the way she conveyed the voices of others to tell her story.
I did find some parts of the book repetitive, but since each is an individual essay, it makes sense that she revisits a number of the same themes under different circumstances.
I highly recommend this book.
This is a well written and researched book, drawing from both the author's personal experiences as well as many others she interviewed, and research that was conducted that she references. I loved her voice and the way she conveyed the voices of others to tell her story.
I did find some parts of the book repetitive, but since each is an individual essay, it makes sense that she revisits a number of the same themes under different circumstances.
I highly recommend this book.
December 29, 2025
DNF at 67% because she had me at the start then turned me all the way off after going on about the damaging effects of Christianity/religion intertwined with blackness ...just to launch into a pitch for Buddhism. You know, because it's DiffErnT, obviously.
I ditched this months ago and deluded myself into believing she could reel me back in, but no. I'm good.
I ditched this months ago and deluded myself into believing she could reel me back in, but no. I'm good.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 17, 2023
I'm female, but not Black, however I found so much in this book to connect with. The author spoke, in the book, to cultural pressures placed on Black women, specifically to have children and to care for EVERYONE around them, putting their own needs and wants 2nd, 3rd, or never.
I may not be able to speak to that, but I can speak to the pressures put on women from a certain generation to look after everyone before themselves. So I appreciated her takedown of the expectations.
There were, as was to be expected, whole sections that did not resonate with me, but that's okay. I learned a lot about the lived experience of Black women in the USA, and I'm always up to learn.
Overall I enjoyed the book, but it did get repetitive. Maybe that's what I needed to pound into my skull that I need to look after myself first, sometimes.
I may not be able to speak to that, but I can speak to the pressures put on women from a certain generation to look after everyone before themselves. So I appreciated her takedown of the expectations.
There were, as was to be expected, whole sections that did not resonate with me, but that's okay. I learned a lot about the lived experience of Black women in the USA, and I'm always up to learn.
Overall I enjoyed the book, but it did get repetitive. Maybe that's what I needed to pound into my skull that I need to look after myself first, sometimes.
September 15, 2019
This book is fantastic! It is so hard to live and think outside the box in our society. When people, especially black women, decide to live life unapologetically, by their own rules, it's even harder! Keturah Kendrick tells it like it is. In this book, she gives us a narrative of her life from relationships to religion, and everything in between. I have experienced many of the same situations and it was like a breath of fresh air to learn that I am not alone in my feelings and ideas. I especially liked the section on living and working overseas. This has been a dream of mine for some time, but I never considered the loneliness aspect of living in a foreign country for an extended period of time. I am thankful that my book club had the chance to have a video conference with the author. Our discussion was lively and I enjoyed every minute of it! This book is a must read!
Kenya E
Soul Sistahs Book Club
Kenya E
Soul Sistahs Book Club
September 1, 2020
If your culture tells you that you want to be a wife and mother, whether you know it or not, would you follow their directions or follow your heart? No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone is Keturah Kendrick’s story of defying conventions and expectations. We see her carving her own path, despite the advice she was given by others.
Kendrick always knew she didn’t want to follow the dictates of her Southern Black sisters or her church. The more she processed society’s expectations, the more she said, “No thanks.” In the chapter titled “The S Word,” Kendrick states, “I had forgotten how much people expected me to capitulate to this universal narrative: women are expected to be mothers. So, when, after answering the usual ‘Do you have children?’ in the negative, the woman asked me why, I responded bluntly, ‘Because I don’t want them.’”
What she wanted was the freedom to travel and explore. Those dreams came and she did it on her own as a proud single woman. Readers will applaud her for not having unwanted children into the world, marrying a man she didn’t love, or buying into the beliefs of church women who told her that being a mother was a woman’s role. Instead, she lived in the independent world she created for herself.
In eight detailed and well-crafted essays, Kendrick considers her convictions, the expectations of her church and the women in her life, and her desire to be the woman she was born to be. She begins by admitting in the prologue that she wrote the book she wanted to read 20 years earlier. With considerable thought and careful consideration of expectations, she rejects the choices available for a “proper Black woman”—whatever that phrase means—and chooses a life with far fewer restrictions.
I’ve never been Black. Oddly, though, I identify with the restrictions society put on her. They remind me of growing up in a white suburb in the sixties. We were taught there were certain things nice girls didn’t do, just as she was taught that her destiny was to be a wife and mother. Unlike Kendrick, I tried to conform; but when I got older, I realized I had to be myself, just as Kendrick did. We both know that we have to be ourselves because everyone else is taken.
I admire her confidence, her pride, and her writing skills. Although this book honors her experience as a Black woman, it is a story that all women should read. Independence is a valuable commodity and she has made the most of hers.
This book was reviewed for Story Circle Book Reviews by B. Lynn Goodwin.
Kendrick always knew she didn’t want to follow the dictates of her Southern Black sisters or her church. The more she processed society’s expectations, the more she said, “No thanks.” In the chapter titled “The S Word,” Kendrick states, “I had forgotten how much people expected me to capitulate to this universal narrative: women are expected to be mothers. So, when, after answering the usual ‘Do you have children?’ in the negative, the woman asked me why, I responded bluntly, ‘Because I don’t want them.’”
What she wanted was the freedom to travel and explore. Those dreams came and she did it on her own as a proud single woman. Readers will applaud her for not having unwanted children into the world, marrying a man she didn’t love, or buying into the beliefs of church women who told her that being a mother was a woman’s role. Instead, she lived in the independent world she created for herself.
In eight detailed and well-crafted essays, Kendrick considers her convictions, the expectations of her church and the women in her life, and her desire to be the woman she was born to be. She begins by admitting in the prologue that she wrote the book she wanted to read 20 years earlier. With considerable thought and careful consideration of expectations, she rejects the choices available for a “proper Black woman”—whatever that phrase means—and chooses a life with far fewer restrictions.
I’ve never been Black. Oddly, though, I identify with the restrictions society put on her. They remind me of growing up in a white suburb in the sixties. We were taught there were certain things nice girls didn’t do, just as she was taught that her destiny was to be a wife and mother. Unlike Kendrick, I tried to conform; but when I got older, I realized I had to be myself, just as Kendrick did. We both know that we have to be ourselves because everyone else is taken.
I admire her confidence, her pride, and her writing skills. Although this book honors her experience as a Black woman, it is a story that all women should read. Independence is a valuable commodity and she has made the most of hers.
This book was reviewed for Story Circle Book Reviews by B. Lynn Goodwin.
May 30, 2020
𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐍𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬: 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲𝐫-𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐙𝐨𝐧𝐞 by Keturah Kendrick
𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫𝐬? As a kid I loved reading biographies. As an adult, I've moved into memoirs as one of my favorite genres.
I especially enjoy memoirs where the author's life experience and demographics are very different from mine. I enjoy it because it challenges my worldview and values.
In No Thanks, Keturah has written a letter to herself, one that she wishes she had had in her early twenties. She addresses what life looks like as a black woman who is choosing to be more herself and less what people expect her to be. Motherhood, marriage and Christianity are not things that she has chosen for herself and reading why was so interesting for me as I have chosen all three of those for myself. I've been married for 17 years, have four children and not only consider myself a Christian, I work at a church.
I appreciated this look into the inner thoughts and work that Keturah has done to lean more into how she is created and what she wants out of life.
𝗪𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞. For example, she talks about a conversation with someone wanting to be married and says this "although I was clear on my core belief about marriage, I reminded myself that it was more beneficial for both of us if I focused on supporting her instead of asserting my own identity."
She closes her book with this:
𝐈𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐚 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞. 𝐀 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐀 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐝. 𝐀 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.
Thank you Keturah for not only doing the work to become more yourself, but also for sharing your story with us so authentically!
#bookstagram #bookstagrammer #booktour #nothanks #diversereads #blackauthors #suzyapprovedbooktours #bookish #memoirs #happysinglegal #readtolearn #amplifyblackwomen #nonfiction #booksharks #morebookslessstress #shobizreads #booksbooksbooks #bookworm #readersofinsta #igbooks #ownvoices #booktourhost #readingrecap #bookreview #recommendedreading #booksandlattes
𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐫𝐬? As a kid I loved reading biographies. As an adult, I've moved into memoirs as one of my favorite genres.
I especially enjoy memoirs where the author's life experience and demographics are very different from mine. I enjoy it because it challenges my worldview and values.
In No Thanks, Keturah has written a letter to herself, one that she wishes she had had in her early twenties. She addresses what life looks like as a black woman who is choosing to be more herself and less what people expect her to be. Motherhood, marriage and Christianity are not things that she has chosen for herself and reading why was so interesting for me as I have chosen all three of those for myself. I've been married for 17 years, have four children and not only consider myself a Christian, I work at a church.
I appreciated this look into the inner thoughts and work that Keturah has done to lean more into how she is created and what she wants out of life.
𝗪𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞. For example, she talks about a conversation with someone wanting to be married and says this "although I was clear on my core belief about marriage, I reminded myself that it was more beneficial for both of us if I focused on supporting her instead of asserting my own identity."
She closes her book with this:
𝐈𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐚 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞. 𝐀 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐀 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐝. 𝐀 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.
Thank you Keturah for not only doing the work to become more yourself, but also for sharing your story with us so authentically!
#bookstagram #bookstagrammer #booktour #nothanks #diversereads #blackauthors #suzyapprovedbooktours #bookish #memoirs #happysinglegal #readtolearn #amplifyblackwomen #nonfiction #booksharks #morebookslessstress #shobizreads #booksbooksbooks #bookworm #readersofinsta #igbooks #ownvoices #booktourhost #readingrecap #bookreview #recommendedreading #booksandlattes
November 4, 2020
I was intrigued with the blurb I chose to peruse this book and at whatever point I begin perusing a book, my psyche naturally create a few desires and I am glad to state that this book has left me puzzled and it's substantially more intriguing with what I have anticipated. It certainly merits a title of a page turner.
Keturah Kendrick made me completely mindful of what it is to be dim just as fundamentally more basically what it is to be an astute, essential thinking, and free minority. So much spotlight right currently is on the dull female experience, it was fascinating to examine the female perspective and especially one that is so influentially imparted.
What I revered was the hard and fast suffering conviction and duty of the maker in herself and her decisions. It is unprecedented to find someone who goes so "in opposition to what might be normal" of her social and social principles and remains so sure and certain about her decisions.
I truly needed to wind up motioning judiciously at a couple centers and agreeing with the maker. In light of everything, her trip helped with explaining a bit of the reasons behind my own personal journey and that without anyone else made the book a victor in my eyes. If you have to understand the dull perspective from a female viewpoint, examined this splendid book which I vivaciously propose.
I value her assurance, her pride, and her making aptitudes. Regardless of the way that this book applauds her experience as a Black woman, it is a story that all women ought to examine. Self-sufficiency is a significant item and she has gained by hers.
Pretty much, this book has something for everyone. It's ease and variety make for an interfacing with getting experience. I would've endorse everyone to scrutinize these astounding fulfilling section. I'll certainly anticipating the read more books of " KETURAH KENDRICK".
Keturah Kendrick made me completely mindful of what it is to be dim just as fundamentally more basically what it is to be an astute, essential thinking, and free minority. So much spotlight right currently is on the dull female experience, it was fascinating to examine the female perspective and especially one that is so influentially imparted.
What I revered was the hard and fast suffering conviction and duty of the maker in herself and her decisions. It is unprecedented to find someone who goes so "in opposition to what might be normal" of her social and social principles and remains so sure and certain about her decisions.
I truly needed to wind up motioning judiciously at a couple centers and agreeing with the maker. In light of everything, her trip helped with explaining a bit of the reasons behind my own personal journey and that without anyone else made the book a victor in my eyes. If you have to understand the dull perspective from a female viewpoint, examined this splendid book which I vivaciously propose.
I value her assurance, her pride, and her making aptitudes. Regardless of the way that this book applauds her experience as a Black woman, it is a story that all women ought to examine. Self-sufficiency is a significant item and she has gained by hers.
Pretty much, this book has something for everyone. It's ease and variety make for an interfacing with getting experience. I would've endorse everyone to scrutinize these astounding fulfilling section. I'll certainly anticipating the read more books of " KETURAH KENDRICK".
May 19, 2021
No Thanks: Black, Free and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone by Keturah Kendrick is a collection of eight essay as Ms. Kendrick chronicles her journey to freedom. She shares her stories as well as the stories of other women who have freed themselves “from the narrow definition of what makes a ‘proper woman.’” Ms. Kendrick especially puts a spotlight on the cultural bullying that puts pressures on women to become wives and others and the expectation that one must follow the spiritual traditions of previous generations. Through her wit and humor, Ms. Kendrick speaks directly to black women as she imagines a world where black women can like choices that center on their needs and desires rather than the choices society offers them. No Thanks is a mixture of memoir and cultural critique to paint the 21st century black woman free from the chains of someone else’s expectations.
Even though I am not Ms. Kendrick’s target audience, I enjoyed her candor and wit as she examines her fight to live her life her way. Right off the bat, she tells her readers that our families, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc, are not entitled or allowed to edit the “blueprint” or path of our lives in order to suit their wants and desires. She even dives into the growing criticism of the selfishness of women who choose not to have children. While I have always known that I wanted to be a wife and mother, I have never thought of another woman who didn’t want the same as selfish. The essays are short and easy to read. I found her very interesting and even when I didn’t agree with all of her premises, she was clear about her reasons. I recommend No Thanks.
No Thanks: Black, Free and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone is available in paperback and eBook.
Even though I am not Ms. Kendrick’s target audience, I enjoyed her candor and wit as she examines her fight to live her life her way. Right off the bat, she tells her readers that our families, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc, are not entitled or allowed to edit the “blueprint” or path of our lives in order to suit their wants and desires. She even dives into the growing criticism of the selfishness of women who choose not to have children. While I have always known that I wanted to be a wife and mother, I have never thought of another woman who didn’t want the same as selfish. The essays are short and easy to read. I found her very interesting and even when I didn’t agree with all of her premises, she was clear about her reasons. I recommend No Thanks.
No Thanks: Black, Free and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone is available in paperback and eBook.
July 27, 2020
Thank You!
Keturah Kendrick dares to challenge the "programming" women of all colors have been assigned by centuries of male dominated cultures, politics, and religion. As a 73 year old white woman, I can attest to the same pressures as Ms Kendrick experienced from her community. I was told to take home-ec instead of drafting and woodshop in HS. White girls, especially those raised in the 1950s, were inculcated in the same Judeo-Christian roles of wife, mother and caretaker. I experienced the same logical revulsion as a child in the Baptist church, when the preacher screamed, spit, and frothed at the mouth at all of us children in the front pew, that we were all sinners headed straight for hell! I became an atheist for life at age 7. Her views on marriage and childbearing are not new. Although I love my kids, if I could have a do-over, I would not have had children.They did not make up for all I had to sacrifice, personally, in my own life. But the pressure from family, friends, and society to reproduce is unrelenting, regardless of race, gender, religion, ethnicity, or country (except maybe China). I applaud Ms Kendrick's brutal honesty, and her mental and emotional fortitude in maintaining her independence and her basic human right to make her own decisions about how to live her life. She speaks not just for black women, but for all women, everywhere, who have not yet found our voices, or the courage to leave the prisons our patriarchal communities have sentenced us to, with the word "selfish." "Hoorah! ," for Ms Kendrick! What the world needs now is more "selfish" women exactly like her!
Keturah Kendrick dares to challenge the "programming" women of all colors have been assigned by centuries of male dominated cultures, politics, and religion. As a 73 year old white woman, I can attest to the same pressures as Ms Kendrick experienced from her community. I was told to take home-ec instead of drafting and woodshop in HS. White girls, especially those raised in the 1950s, were inculcated in the same Judeo-Christian roles of wife, mother and caretaker. I experienced the same logical revulsion as a child in the Baptist church, when the preacher screamed, spit, and frothed at the mouth at all of us children in the front pew, that we were all sinners headed straight for hell! I became an atheist for life at age 7. Her views on marriage and childbearing are not new. Although I love my kids, if I could have a do-over, I would not have had children.They did not make up for all I had to sacrifice, personally, in my own life. But the pressure from family, friends, and society to reproduce is unrelenting, regardless of race, gender, religion, ethnicity, or country (except maybe China). I applaud Ms Kendrick's brutal honesty, and her mental and emotional fortitude in maintaining her independence and her basic human right to make her own decisions about how to live her life. She speaks not just for black women, but for all women, everywhere, who have not yet found our voices, or the courage to leave the prisons our patriarchal communities have sentenced us to, with the word "selfish." "Hoorah! ," for Ms Kendrick! What the world needs now is more "selfish" women exactly like her!
February 4, 2021
Book 13/75: No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone by Keturah Kendrick. The preface had me hooked, very important to see women are writing the books they themselves would have wanted to read growing up. As I continued reading, the chapter went on about other women (and sometimes men) not accepting the fact that some women truly do not want children. Now, I've reached an undecided phase on that topic on a personal level, certain things rang true and it was a needed message to trust my body and intuition. Now, we go into black women not wanting kids or choosing a career and being deemed selfish within their family, and that is not ok. That's where I go "our bodies, our choices". If a woman has a child, it is because she felt she was ready, even the surprise pregnancies that are kept, the decision to keep the child is there. Personally, I'm going to be the best unbiological aunt out there to my friend's kids. Doesn't make me less of a woman for being undecided on kids and still enjoy being around them. It just means my energy is spent differently and I think (or hope) this is what Keturah was saying in these essays. To keep being you, unapologetically, and not to be phased by others' judgement. We all have different needs, wants and desires. Children don't necessarily have to fall into any category unless you choose it to be. And this is just part of the essays written here. Powerful but still dry at some point. Interesting read for sure
May 16, 2020
Thank you Keturah Kendrick for giving me this book to read and review. This review is my honest opinion and nothing more.
I know this book is targeted towards black women, but much of it applies to women in general. I quite enjoy her views on things and believe women from all walks of life should give it a read. Her unique perspective is refreshing.
When she wrote, "This is exactly what many of these selfish black women are doing: Reading books. Watching shows. Drinking wine. Spending hours lying in bed being spooned by the same men they are denying offspring. Sitting in cafés, drinking coffee, eating muffins and shit.". I thought to myself EXACTLY! I am envious of those women. As a wife and mother of 4, that sounds like a dream to me. I love my husband and children dearly but I will love retirement when it comes.
She is selfish.
She is acting like herself.
Oh, what a precious privilege.
It also pushes the envelope where religion is concerned. I won't touch that. I don't believe in religion personally. I believe what I believe and it is personal to me and me alone.
Your words have touched me Keturah. I may not agree with everything you wrote, but I can definitely see your standpoint and I admire you for choosing your own path and not letting anyone push you off on their path instead.
I know this book is targeted towards black women, but much of it applies to women in general. I quite enjoy her views on things and believe women from all walks of life should give it a read. Her unique perspective is refreshing.
When she wrote, "This is exactly what many of these selfish black women are doing: Reading books. Watching shows. Drinking wine. Spending hours lying in bed being spooned by the same men they are denying offspring. Sitting in cafés, drinking coffee, eating muffins and shit.". I thought to myself EXACTLY! I am envious of those women. As a wife and mother of 4, that sounds like a dream to me. I love my husband and children dearly but I will love retirement when it comes.
She is selfish.
She is acting like herself.
Oh, what a precious privilege.
It also pushes the envelope where religion is concerned. I won't touch that. I don't believe in religion personally. I believe what I believe and it is personal to me and me alone.
Your words have touched me Keturah. I may not agree with everything you wrote, but I can definitely see your standpoint and I admire you for choosing your own path and not letting anyone push you off on their path instead.
November 25, 2020
This book wasn't what I expected it to be - well, maybe the final chapter was more what I was expecting - the kind of analysis I was expecting.
Reads like a memoir of sorts - a lot of I and an attitude of self-righteousness that I didn't like reading. I appreciate the author's perspective on marriage and organized religion and loneliness experiences when living in other than one's own country - but the attitude is hard to take.
However, that final chapter is interesting, where Kendrick engages in analysis about how black TV series women are portrayed (Denise in The Cosby Show and Whitley in A Different World) in contrast to Nova Bordelon in Queen Sugar. Not familiar really with any of these series, the analysis by Kendrick is worth the read. References to Sula by Toni Morrison (which I have read) adds more depth as well to the point about black women's radical choices that No Thanks is about.
But not a fave book of mine. Glad I read to the end (I always do expecting redeeming features and always interested in endings).
Reads like a memoir of sorts - a lot of I and an attitude of self-righteousness that I didn't like reading. I appreciate the author's perspective on marriage and organized religion and loneliness experiences when living in other than one's own country - but the attitude is hard to take.
However, that final chapter is interesting, where Kendrick engages in analysis about how black TV series women are portrayed (Denise in The Cosby Show and Whitley in A Different World) in contrast to Nova Bordelon in Queen Sugar. Not familiar really with any of these series, the analysis by Kendrick is worth the read. References to Sula by Toni Morrison (which I have read) adds more depth as well to the point about black women's radical choices that No Thanks is about.
But not a fave book of mine. Glad I read to the end (I always do expecting redeeming features and always interested in endings).
August 22, 2019
NO THANKS is an outstanding, honest work. It addresses itself to black women (but appealed to me--I'm not black). It tells of one woman's choices about marriage and children, faith, travels abroad and "being enough." The discussion on faith is profound. To quote Ms. Kendrick: "The black church will be forced expedite its evolution once black women realize that the cute consolation prizes of patriarchy are paltry trinkets when held up against the rewards of liberty from the expectation to shrink yourself."
I was stunned by this image: "...the cloudy words floating about, already starting to dissipate and turn back into air: 'But what if there is more than this?'" We've all lived moments exactly like this. I am so glad I read this book.
I was stunned by this image: "...the cloudy words floating about, already starting to dissipate and turn back into air: 'But what if there is more than this?'" We've all lived moments exactly like this. I am so glad I read this book.
June 7, 2020
No Thanks, Black Female and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone was an enjoyable well written memoir.
The memoir is broken up into 8 different sections, all of them are distinct and different.
I appreciate how the author spoke about how she was going to live her life the way she wanted to and not how society or cultural norms expected her to. She never wanted to have children and only wanted to marry for love not because it was what was expected of her.
She made choices that were good for her regardless of what society dictates.
A well written memoir that gives great examples of how the author lives her life unapologetically.
The memoir is broken up into 8 different sections, all of them are distinct and different.
I appreciate how the author spoke about how she was going to live her life the way she wanted to and not how society or cultural norms expected her to. She never wanted to have children and only wanted to marry for love not because it was what was expected of her.
She made choices that were good for her regardless of what society dictates.
A well written memoir that gives great examples of how the author lives her life unapologetically.
August 11, 2020
Keturah Kendrick writes what is true for her, in a no nonsense style. She has opted out of marriage, motherhood and the church. She rejects superficial friendships. I found the two essays on church and spirituality most interesting. I didn't agree with much of the theology by which she rejects God, but I did like her take on spirituality and the need for a spiritual and value based core to our being. Didn't read it straight through but enjoyed picking up and putting down.
May 31, 2020
This book is amazing. A truly thought provoking book is something that I recommend all races to read. I was intrigued to learn more about the struggles other women face and be mindful of what struggles you are unaware of in many forms. Well written and heartfelt I think the world needs more books like this. A must read for 2020!!
July 13, 2019
Awesome
I've fought with myself for years about not being a "typical" woman & being happy with & by myself. No more!! This book spoke to me as a woman. Period. I recommend this to every woman, whether you agree with Ms. Kendrick or not, it will open your mind.
I've fought with myself for years about not being a "typical" woman & being happy with & by myself. No more!! This book spoke to me as a woman. Period. I recommend this to every woman, whether you agree with Ms. Kendrick or not, it will open your mind.
August 8, 2019
Every woman of every race should read this. I was looking to feel comfortable in making unconventional choices. This is by far the best example, role model, for leading a life outside norms. I felt more free after reading this. Thank you Keturah!
October 5, 2019
I'm glad that I've read this book as it exposed me to some new ideas and new perspectives on topics that I was familiar with. There are thoughts in this book that are expressed eloquently by Ms. Kendrick that will keep returning to me for some time.
July 13, 2020
I read this book to educate myself after the death of George Floyd and the BLM movement
July 14, 2019
You should actually meet and chat with the author Keturah Kendrick, because she is truly one-of-a-kind. She’s hysterical, insightful, and charming. But given that most people won’t get the chance to have a sit-down with KK, you’ll have to do the next best thing, and that is to read her book.
The main question that Keturah investigates through the eight essays in her book No Thanks is “Why does society assume that women (black women in particular) are going to marry and have children?” Why is this the default?
As a white, married mom, I’m not technically the target audience for this book. But as a reader, eager to get into the head of an author with a well thought thesis, I have to say that Kendrick has a lot of perceptive ideas to share. Her book isn’t as light as the essays that she usually posts to her blog https://yetanothersinglegal.com/ , but it is well worth the effort.
The main question that Keturah investigates through the eight essays in her book No Thanks is “Why does society assume that women (black women in particular) are going to marry and have children?” Why is this the default?
As a white, married mom, I’m not technically the target audience for this book. But as a reader, eager to get into the head of an author with a well thought thesis, I have to say that Kendrick has a lot of perceptive ideas to share. Her book isn’t as light as the essays that she usually posts to her blog https://yetanothersinglegal.com/ , but it is well worth the effort.
June 18, 2019
Keturah's book is timely, authentic and refreshing. In 2019 Black women can live life all kinds of ways but the media portrayals are still too often limited and limiting. This book offers snapshots of Black women living life on their own terms without apology or obligation.
June 11, 2020
This couldn’t be a more timely read.
This book is a collection of eight essays that reimagines what it means to be “a good black woman” and what it means to break from from those constraints.
Kendrick does an incredible job of shedding light on the cultural pressures within the black community such as the expectation to be religious, to have children, and to put a man’s needs before your own. There’s also the expectation to always be perfect because society already sees you as a failure. It definitely hit home for me.
While these stories feature black women, I encourage all women to pick this one up because I can guarantee you that you’ve probably found yourself in one of these situations as you’ve found meaning and fulfillment in your own life.
Thank you to the author for providing a review copy!
This book is a collection of eight essays that reimagines what it means to be “a good black woman” and what it means to break from from those constraints.
Kendrick does an incredible job of shedding light on the cultural pressures within the black community such as the expectation to be religious, to have children, and to put a man’s needs before your own. There’s also the expectation to always be perfect because society already sees you as a failure. It definitely hit home for me.
While these stories feature black women, I encourage all women to pick this one up because I can guarantee you that you’ve probably found yourself in one of these situations as you’ve found meaning and fulfillment in your own life.
Thank you to the author for providing a review copy!
July 17, 2020
Well written and engaging book by a black woman who has carefully considered her life and decided to put aside the traditional black community pressures to marry, have kids and have a social life centered around church. I never realized how much pressure women were under to conform to this norm. One of those eye-opener books for me!
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