Queer Intentions: A (Personal) Journey Through LGBTQ+ Culture

by Amelia Abraham

This immersive, accessible and thought-provoking book takes the reader on a journey to explore the pros and cons, the myths and realities of life for LGBTQ+ people today.

Shortlisted for the Polari First Book Prize 2020

‘Eloquent, empathetic and passionate, this book will not just resonate with a new generation of queer people, but with all those who seek to be their allies. A brilliant book.’ - Owen Jones, author of The Establishment

Today, the options and freedoms on offer to LGBTQ+ people living in the West are greater than ever before. But is same-sex marriage, improved media visibility and corporate endorsement all it’s cracked up to be? At what cost does this acceptance come? And who is getting left behind, particularly in parts of the world where LGBTQ+ rights aren’t so advanced?

Combining intrepid journalism with her own personal experience, in Queer Intentions , Amelia Abraham searches for the answers to these urgent challenges, as well as the broader question of what it means to be queer right now. With curiosity, good humour and disarming openness, Amelia takes the reader on a thought-provoking and entertaining journey.

Join her as she cries at the first same-sex marriage in Britain, loses herself in the world’s biggest drag convention in L.A., marches at Pride parades across Europe, visits both a transgender model agency and the Anti-Violence Project in New York to understand the extremes of trans life today, parties in the clubs of Turkey’s underground LGBTQ+ scene, and meets a genderless family in progressive Stockholm.

'A landmark exploration into what it means to be queer today' – DAZED

Genres: Nonfiction, Queer, LGBT, Memoir, Audiobook, Essays, Politics

336 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 28, 2019

About the author

Amelia Abraham is a journalist and author from London.

Reviews

[Hayden · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel like we don't hear the voices of lesbian women often enough (or maybe that's just me?), so 'Queer Intentions' was a really refreshing look into LGBTQ+ culture from a different perspective.

[yana · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's not very often that a Western author handles my corner of the world (in this book it's Serbia and Turkey) with dignity and a sincere desire to understand instead of patronizing, dramaticizing, instagramming, and then running away. That's why, initially, I was overwhelmingly skeptical of Amelia Abraham's capacity to live up to the tall order of the book's blurb.

Boy, am I glad how spectacularly wrong she proved me. This is an astounding piece of non-fiction. It's absolutely riveting and reads like a smooth investigative journalism piece with a healthy dose of humor and sex jokes. This is the book that you pick up for some strange reason (maybe it's the magnetizing simplicity of the cover, maybe it's the (humble and self-depricatingly endearing) title, or something to do with that blurb and the insane distances the author has travelled to collect these interviews) and then it ends up usurping your read-list by virtue of its sheer fucking superiority.

It was profoundly empowering and encouraging to read. It let me hear the voices and imagine (or google) the faces of our community all across Europe and the USA where some part of me still believes the childhood bullshit I was taught that LGBTQ+ are scarce. Abraham offers various community members the ability to self-express, self-define, and share their personal experiences while poking fun at herself all the while.

All eight of the chapters offered something profoundly moving, a perfect blend of accessible writing mixing in queer theory, statistics, history, and personal stories to create something unifying and outstanding. Abraham's approach to the subject allowed the complexity of each of her interviewees' thoughts on the state of being queer to shine through without any dumbing down. This is effectively one of the most refreshing collections of discussions between queer people on politics, religion, spirituality, education, and play... And I'd do a hell of a lot to get a chance to speak to the folks she's interviewed for this book. I've never felt more damn understood, from my qualms about marriage equality to the struggles of being an Eastern European queer person, to poly...

It's got it all, be it by discussing it in depth or giving you enough of an introduction to be able to conduct your own research afterwards: a tremendously successful collection of our contemporary queer culture in Europe and USA. And her biggest success? The fact that while arguing that queer people should be visible living all walks of life happily, she succeeds in reflecting the reality of a number of queer lives, from scholarship to modelling to almost-nuclear-families, to living as refugees... surviving and succeeding.

Please read it.

[Ansa · Rating 2 out of 5]

2,5 stars

this lacks the depth of argumentation and personal touch. Every time we are getting closer to actual in-depth topics, this book moves on. Topics were quite familiar, nothing too new for a queer person. Though I was happily surprised to find a Sami person's interview in the Swedish utopia chapter.

A lot of these stories would have been amazing articles but for essays they were too short and relayed too heavily on the interviews and quotes. I enjoyed the parts of Serbia and Turkey but in a European context that doesn't count as a international level of traveling. I feel the writer was too shy with her opinions.

[Mansi Mudgal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Queer Intentions is the author’s personal journey through the LGBTQI+ culture; it documents the her travel through various countries and her conversations with LGBTQ+ people from all walks of life about politics, religion, spirituality, capitalism, education and exploitation.
I love the way all this heart-to-heart is documented, the author lets the people talk, share their experiences and gives us a lot of different point of views, she lets them educate the reader, leaving us to form our own opinions without clouding them up. I have found so many amazing people in these conversations and have been reading up on them, their line of work, making this whole book a very enriching experience.
It’s a must read for queer people and those who wish to be their allies. It can also be a great book for those who might want to learn about the culture and don’t know where to start from, from drag, to pride, to survival and queer utopia.

[Tilda · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5

I liked that discussions within the LGBTQ+ community were held. I liked that we traveld quite a bit (I think the Turkey and Belgrade chapters were some of the best) and I liked that there were so many different queer voices.

I didn’t however quite get the format? The title said ”personal” journey, but the author’s voice was not very present. The ”personal” part was in a form of complaining how hard it was to find some people to interview, talking about commuting to somewhere for the interview or telling something mundane about the author’s girlfriend or ex-girlfriend. I feel like at places the potental for intellectual conversations about the topics presented was wasted.

[Freya Pigott · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good mix of queer theories x investigative journalism x personal stories. I love being queer :)

[L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so good! I really enjoyed Amelia Abraham's approach to writing a portrayal of queer culture in the US and Europe. Her interviews are always personal, friendly and often emotional. She structured the book in a way that made it possible to shed light on nuances of a certain issue in LGBT discourse, to stress that a black trans woman in the US would probably have a different view of drag today than a white cis gay man in the Netherlands. This is a very good read and it made me appreciate and reflect upon LGBT history and our similarities and differences in a new way.

[freya · Rating 4 out of 5]

(4.5) i have been in search of a good non-fiction book about modern queer culture for so long!! and i have finally found it

[Abbie Day · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some good discussions in here, and it was great to hear so many voices within the LGBT community across several countries. There were discussions on the commodification of queer culture, cultural appropriation, the role Black and trans people play in the drag community, and the debate surrounding corporations and Pride. In particular, I enjoyed learning about the many different 'prides' and how Pride as a concept has what it is today, for better and for worse.

But the discussions felt vague and didn't really bring anything new to the table. The author's voice didn't spark any inspiration or hope for the future of pride, and the 'personal' aspect just seemed to be the author randomly whining about her girlfriend or ex-girlfriend.

[Darko · Rating 1 out of 5]

A better title would be CisGay Intentions. I genuinely believe this book was written just so the author could have a reason to travel. While there are some good moments in the book, they're few and far between and overshadowed by very cis, gay, wealthy monologues by people who more often than not feel a bit more important than they are, the author included.

After page after page of wealthy (not very queer) people whining, I decided ti DNF this book. If you're keen on reading it, read the chapters Cooking Dinner Forever and What Have We Got To Be Proud of - you'll get the best and the worst of this book without having to slog through all of it.

[Kaia Landelius · Rating 3 out of 5]

At times awesome, and at times... rather flat, this is a sort of memoir but also not, of a journalist interviewing herself around the world, while also dealing with break ups and her own life as a queer woman.

My favourite parts were probably when she talked to two gay men in Turkey, a non-binary drag queen in LA, and a trans woman who was working for the Anti-Violence Project in NYC. The parts dealing with coming out and family constellations are less my thing, and I found my attention drifting, but largely it was an interesting listen.

[Eoin McGrath · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book please thanks

[Violet Willems · Rating 4 out of 5]

De schrijver bezoekt queer personen in Europa en de VS, en ontrafelt daar het heden en verleden van ervaringen van queer zijn op die plek, de pijnlijke en de krachtige ervaringen. Er wordt gekeken naar mensenrechten van queer personen daar, op papier en on the ground.
Ik vond het een klein beetje lastig te volgen doordat het over zoveel namen gaat, waar voortdurend naar gerefereerd en tussen vergeleken wordt, waarbij dan vaak alleen een voornaam genoemd wordt.

[Catarina Lobo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written. As a LGBTQ+ person myself it was really nice reading this. And I think every queer person should read this sentence: “LGBTQ+ people before me had been fighting for our right to be the same as everyone else, or to be different”.

[Alex · Rating 2 out of 5]

I give it 2.5/5. I felt quite disappointed by this book, I probably had quite high expectations for it. Parts of it I really liked (the section of cultural appropriation was my favourite) but parts of it a cringed at and overall it felt more like an investigation by a straight journalist rather than a queer one (a feeling that several of the interviewees shared as they spoke about how they were surprised with the author told them she is a lesbian).

The use of the word 'homosexual' (rather than gay/lesbian/queer) throughout is simply offensive and shows the author’s lack of understanding of the history of oppression of LGBTQI+ people. She even incudes a section where one of the people she interview talks about this, but then continues to use the term throughout. Confusing!!!

She also outs someone when discussion some of her own personal history (she does not name them, but talks about them in a way that if you were familiar with them and read this book you would certainly be able to figure out who it is). She states that this person asked her not to let anyone know they slept together, but then publishers this information in a book!!! This is appalling and far from a 'queer intention'.

As a reader I would have liked the author to explain how she decided to cover some topics and not others, why she chose to visit the countries she did, and why she decided to not cover particular topics. I enjoyed the sections about Pride in various countries however I am curious about why she decided not to talk about any of the current and historical issues with transphobia and racism in London Pride.

Overall I felt like it was written more for a straight audience than queer ones. If you are interested in this topic I highly recommend 'The Pink Line: Journeys Across The Worlds Queer Frontiers' by Mark Gevisser if offers much of what 'Queer Intentions' lacks.

[Emma Melling · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am very tempted to only give this 1 star, but that feels unfair to all the amazing interviewee's who carried this book on their backs, so I'm lumping for 2, even though the author doesn't deserve it. This is basically just one woman rambling on about a series of different LGBTQ+ issues, without ever really contributing any of her own ideas or commentary. Her tone is often judgemental and she seems incredibly full of herself, which is odd considering she doesn't seem terribly knowledgeable about the issues she is discussing. The complete lack of discussion around the A (Asexuality and Aromanticism) especially in the chapter around marriage and alternative queer relationships is both neglectful and laughable (how could you not mention these??). Any mention of the authors personal life made me cringe and I feel very bad for her girlfriend Emily (who seemed very cool). Any of the interesting content in this book comes from the people the author interviews as she travels the globe. They were always articulate and offered interesting perspectives on these issues. I honestly wish this book had just been a series of interview transcripts - it would have cut out the author's annoying chattering and meant she didn't get any credit for the others' interesting contributions. I did learn some new information from this book (exclusively from the interviewee's), but generally I felt I'd heard a lot of the discourse before, and I think there are much better books out there if you want to learn about LGBTQ+ issues. Would not recommend this one.

[María Otero · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amelia Abrahams shares her —personal— journey through LGBTIQ+ culture, exploring topics such as relationships and marriage, the colourful and complex world of drag, LGTBIQ+ spaces and their evolution over the last few decades, pride or representation.

I believe one of the strong points of this book is the diversity of experiences that includes. Abrahams shares her own journey and thoughts about the topics that are explored, however, in the books she includes what she's learned from the conversations and debates that she was privileged to have with LGTBIQ+ activist from all around the world. This allows the author to not only put her reality and rights in perspective —things that are a given in the UK are not even a possibility in other countries— but also to showcase how LGTBIQ+ people exist in these not-so-welcoming spaces, how they deal with violence and hate and how they are still fighting for acceptance.

Abrahams is quite aware of her privilege (she's a cis, white, highly educated woman from the UK) when discussing certain topics, however, I've would've appreciated a discussion about how that privilege allow her to travel around the world to interview the people she spoke to.

4.5 *

[WeiLe · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is a compilation of several interviews done based on certain topics such as: gay marriage, drag business, brief history of gay bars to its decline, what it means to be LGBTQ+, LGBT social media, coming out and gay pride. The author traveled around some parts of USA, Europe and Turkey to conduct the research. There's a lot of insights and discussion around the topics, I find it a very educational book.

[sallanvaara · Rating 4 out of 5]

An incredibly thorough and thoughtful exploration of queer cultures and existences all over the world. Also wow does it feel good to read about queer life - both political and personal - from a lesbian perspective. I feel very seen etc.

[Kyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

So this was a weird read. While I loved the inclusivity and diversity presented throughout this book across the LGBTQI+ community, particularly the chapters on Turkey, and Serbia, for being a lesbian she focussed quite prominently on the cis gay male community. She addressed issues faced in the trans woman community also, which is always enlightening to me as a cis male, however I feel she completely neglected the trans male community.

And, don't let the title fool you, this was a journey through LGBTQ culture, but it wasn't a personal one unless her whining about her Icelandic ex, getting together with her discreet Christian raised lawyer girlfriend, and travelling around with her gay male friends made it personal. To me, I'd have expected more introspection and reflection on the topics each "essay" was supposed to be about rather than just regurgitated conversations with FAR more interesting folks.

Still important, she just adds nothing particularly new to the conversation.

[Umbar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly a very readable book - accessible language and the variety of interviews really sucked me in. Lots of thought provoking topics covered. Admittedly the debate aspect sucked me in and I found it really interesting to come at issues like commercialisation of pride from people deeply involved in the community on both sides of the issue. Will be thinking about this book for a while!

"... they enabled thousands of personalities to flourish. They were Petri dishes for subcultures, which were then released back into the world, making it a much more vibrant place. The idea that they could no longer be necessary was a strange one."

[Briayna Cuffie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came across this book randomly on Libby/Overdrive. It’s clearly organic, and a more unpolished (not in a bad way) narrative than what I would expect of a trained journalist. The author didn’t center themselves and their own journey, which I think still surprises me, given the title and how the narrative is; the bits of real-time and hindsight reflections that were included were tactfully placed.

I loved the variety of people, places, sexual orientations and genders; each person and their approach to answering questions was different. There’s “just enough” talk about the social and political barriers faced by the interviewees in the various countries. The last chapter was a strong finish. “Queering the institution” and the depth of communication that doesn’t happen in non cis/het relationships, but is more commonplace in LGBTQIA+ ones.

There’s something that would’ve made it a bit more coherent, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

[Sofie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ik vond de hoofdstukken in Turkije en Serbia fantastisch en met veel respect gedaan. Ze slaagt erin om de realiteit van zo'n grote varieteit van queer mensen vast te leggen met heel veel respect en voorzichtigheid.

Ik denk dat ik het persoonlijke mistte, iets dat wel in het laatste hoofdstuk kwam. Omdat het in de titel als personal journey wordt beschreven, maar ik eigenlijk heel weinig van het perspectief of hersenspinsels van de auteur heb meegekregen.

[Annemieke · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5 sterren. Vond het in het begin lastig om echt goed in het boek te komen, en de lange dialogen en hoofdstukken hielpen daar niet bij. Verder wel een goed geschreven boek met veel verschillende, interessante perspectieven.

[Kab · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Mia Tiger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible incredible incredible book. Everyone must read this, my mind is transformed. Ty Sonya for the fabulous present!!

[Izzy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

[Marthe AllGoodreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

a stellar intersectional informative personal breezy journey through LGBTQ+ culture; a very good read indeed!
tens tens tens across the board !!

[Charlott · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5

[sonyaaaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

very comprehensive!! felt really connected with the author’s journey!! did it read like anything other than a extensive indie mag article?? not really!! fantastic contents that ultimately felt quite stifled by a rigid approach to non-fiction writing. would still very much recommend tho.