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Hell or High Water #4
If I Ever
Some ghosts refuse to stay buried . . .
Prophet and Tom have been through the ringer more times than they can count, both as partners in the field and in life. Yet despite it all, they’ve built something great together. But now they need to protect it again: Prophet’s old nemesis, John Morse, is back and threatening everything he loves.
Prophet is driven enough to take John down alone, and with a chance to do exactly that on the table, he runs with it, risking himself in the process. But trusting Tom to help him is so much more than mission critical.
It’s the final stand, and with Tom and his team behind him, Prophet’s in for the fight of his life. Then a figure from his past goes missing, and the consequence of an old mission rears its head. As complications and destruction mount all around them, getting out alive becomes the most important mission of their lives.
Prophet and Tom have been through the ringer more times than they can count, both as partners in the field and in life. Yet despite it all, they’ve built something great together. But now they need to protect it again: Prophet’s old nemesis, John Morse, is back and threatening everything he loves.
Prophet is driven enough to take John down alone, and with a chance to do exactly that on the table, he runs with it, risking himself in the process. But trusting Tom to help him is so much more than mission critical.
It’s the final stand, and with Tom and his team behind him, Prophet’s in for the fight of his life. Then a figure from his past goes missing, and the consequence of an old mission rears its head. As complications and destruction mount all around them, getting out alive becomes the most important mission of their lives.
303 pages, Paperback
First published January 21, 2019
107 people are currently reading
1656 people want to read
About the author
S.E. Jakes
38 books1,741 followersSE Jakes writes m/m romance. She believes in happy endings and fighting for what you want.
You can contact her the following ways:
You can email her at authorsejakes@gmail.com
You can post to her Facebook page: Facebook.com/SEJakes
You can Twitter her: Twitter.com/authorsejakes
You can post on her Goodreads Group: Ask SE Jakes
You can follow her on Tumblr: http://sejakes.tumblr.com
You can ask her a question as part of the Ask The Author program on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/4595...
Truth be told, the best way to contact her is by email or in blog comments. She spends most of her time writing but she loves to hear from readers.
***
SE Jakes is the pen-name of New York Times Bestselling Author Stephanie Tyler (and half of Sydney Croft!)
You can contact her the following ways:
You can email her at authorsejakes@gmail.com
You can post to her Facebook page: Facebook.com/SEJakes
You can Twitter her: Twitter.com/authorsejakes
You can post on her Goodreads Group: Ask SE Jakes
You can follow her on Tumblr: http://sejakes.tumblr.com
You can ask her a question as part of the Ask The Author program on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/4595...
Truth be told, the best way to contact her is by email or in blog comments. She spends most of her time writing but she loves to hear from readers.
***
SE Jakes is the pen-name of New York Times Bestselling Author Stephanie Tyler (and half of Sydney Croft!)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 175 reviews
February 25, 2021
It has been a really really long wait for this book. Years even... So when it finally arrived, I got a bit nervous. After waiting so long, I really needed this to be good.
And it was....I loved the hell out of it !! It picks up right after the previous book ended and we are in for one hell of a ride !!
So many secrets are about to be revealed, some of them really test the love between Tommy and Prophet. And that's not even the biggest challenge they will have to face... My heart broke for both of them on many occasions...
For those of you with triggers, please read the trigger warning Riptide has up for this book.
Thankfully it is not all gloom and doom (though a lot of it is) ...there is also friendship, banter, love and plenty of steam
These two really know how to get it on !!
I have to be honest and confess that there were some parts I had to re-read because I didn't fully get what the fuck was going on, but that didn't stop me from enjoying these awesome men !! All of them. Not just Tommy and Prophet, but also Mal...especially Mal..oh how he stole my heart ;) I can't wait to read more about him and Cillian. I just hope it won't be another 5-year wait
According to the author, "Dirty Lies" should come out this summer though ;)
I can't wait to read more about these men. They went through hell and back and I have a feeling that Mal and Cillian aren't out of the woods just yet. Then there's still Ren, King, Doc ...and so on ;) Plenty more to come... I hope !!! I am happy for Tommy and Prophet though, but I am sure we will see more of them in the future.
I highly recommend this series !!
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January 27, 2019
*please note trigger warning at end of review*
I went into this with some trepidation. It's been 5 years since the last book came out and I was concerned that my tastes had changed a lot since then. I actually thought about skipping this all together but I really wanted to see what was happening with Mal and Cillian. After reading this I think that was definitely part of my issue with this book but there were oh so may others.
The overall plot was convoluted and drawn out and really over the top. There were many parts I had to re-read because I wasn't sure what in the heck was going on. There are a zillion characters which I managed to keep up with fine but all the various plots, subplots, twists, turns etc was ridiculous imo. It was just way too much. Way too unbelievable. I expect to suspend some reality in books like this but this book wanted me to suspend WAY to much of it. I found myself rolling my eyes more than once.
There were a bunch of scenes were little things don't make sense. Ie Prophet is captured and hung from the ceiling and Tom walks by him and sneakily drops a key in his hand. How? His hands are hung above his head. Honestly these things I probably would have skipped over if I wasn't so annoyed about everything else. Once I'm annoyed I can't seem to stop myself from picking apart every little incident.
The pacing was off. It felt like this book was never going to end. It was like those horror movies where the villain keeps coming back. It was like the author couldn't stop herself from throwing in just one more scene, one more plot twist. I kept looking down at the percentage mark and swearing when I saw how much more I had to go.
This next part is the part that made this book unsalvageable for me though. There is a big spoiler under this so proceed with caution. There is also a rant under the spoiler tag so, again, proceed with caution. I was cruising along and while not loving it, I was still thinking it would be a three star, until I hit a particular incident.
After this spectacular incident of fuckery I decided I was done. Done with the book, done with the series, done with this author. I finished reading it because I was so close to the end but my mood didn't improve and I have to say I 1000% regret reading this. I should have just left my fond memories in the past.
*trigger warning for on page, graphic rape*
**ARC provided through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**
I went into this with some trepidation. It's been 5 years since the last book came out and I was concerned that my tastes had changed a lot since then. I actually thought about skipping this all together but I really wanted to see what was happening with Mal and Cillian. After reading this I think that was definitely part of my issue with this book but there were oh so may others.
The overall plot was convoluted and drawn out and really over the top. There were many parts I had to re-read because I wasn't sure what in the heck was going on. There are a zillion characters which I managed to keep up with fine but all the various plots, subplots, twists, turns etc was ridiculous imo. It was just way too much. Way too unbelievable. I expect to suspend some reality in books like this but this book wanted me to suspend WAY to much of it. I found myself rolling my eyes more than once.
There were a bunch of scenes were little things don't make sense. Ie Prophet is captured and hung from the ceiling and Tom walks by him and sneakily drops a key in his hand. How? His hands are hung above his head. Honestly these things I probably would have skipped over if I wasn't so annoyed about everything else. Once I'm annoyed I can't seem to stop myself from picking apart every little incident.
The pacing was off. It felt like this book was never going to end. It was like those horror movies where the villain keeps coming back. It was like the author couldn't stop herself from throwing in just one more scene, one more plot twist. I kept looking down at the percentage mark and swearing when I saw how much more I had to go.
This next part is the part that made this book unsalvageable for me though. There is a big spoiler under this so proceed with caution. There is also a rant under the spoiler tag so, again, proceed with caution. I was cruising along and while not loving it, I was still thinking it would be a three star, until I hit a particular incident.
After this spectacular incident of fuckery I decided I was done. Done with the book, done with the series, done with this author. I finished reading it because I was so close to the end but my mood didn't improve and I have to say I 1000% regret reading this. I should have just left my fond memories in the past.
*trigger warning for on page, graphic rape*
**ARC provided through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**
June 30, 2015
I don't expect authors to put their books over their personal lifes but a short note like: "I'm going to make a writing-break for a year, for 5 years or whatever would be nice..."
September 10, 2020
"Sometimes, the only way to get through hell is to walk right through it."
No, not stupid platitudes! I wouldn't even try to write drippy shit like that on a college paper and feel okay about it. Like, any professor would call me out for it. Well, any good professor. I have this professor right now who is da bomb!! Advanced science class that is somehow so easy it is a blow-off class? Thanks, Professor!! And, he has an awesome British accent that make his lectures listenable.
Wow, it was really hard to find a male hot teacher meme. The guys need to step up their game at school. Do women have to do everything? Sheesh.
And before you ask, yes, I'm old and went back to college for no reason other than to show my kids that a 4.0 is possible for anyone and I'm determined to find the most useless degree there is out there and hang it on the wall for all to see. There is a degree for "Canadian Studies" that I was thinking might be good. You know, since I live in the South. I like maple syrup.
Wow. That was so hot. Maybe this Canada thing is just what I've been looking for.
So, this series if finally over. Thank you, Book-Gods.
This last book was just a confusing clusterfuck of trying to dot every "I" and lower case "J" that was ever out there in the first books. While at the same time trying to wrangle us into reading the spin-off.
Oh yeah, this is from Canada too, isn't it? Fuck yeah, Canada! I'm coming for ya!
Anyways, I'm out. Let me know when the next Cut & Run book is released.
No, not stupid platitudes! I wouldn't even try to write drippy shit like that on a college paper and feel okay about it. Like, any professor would call me out for it. Well, any good professor. I have this professor right now who is da bomb!! Advanced science class that is somehow so easy it is a blow-off class? Thanks, Professor!! And, he has an awesome British accent that make his lectures listenable.
Wow, it was really hard to find a male hot teacher meme. The guys need to step up their game at school. Do women have to do everything? Sheesh.
And before you ask, yes, I'm old and went back to college for no reason other than to show my kids that a 4.0 is possible for anyone and I'm determined to find the most useless degree there is out there and hang it on the wall for all to see. There is a degree for "Canadian Studies" that I was thinking might be good. You know, since I live in the South. I like maple syrup.
Wow. That was so hot. Maybe this Canada thing is just what I've been looking for.
So, this series if finally over. Thank you, Book-Gods.
This last book was just a confusing clusterfuck of trying to dot every "I" and lower case "J" that was ever out there in the first books. While at the same time trying to wrangle us into reading the spin-off.
Oh yeah, this is from Canada too, isn't it? Fuck yeah, Canada! I'm coming for ya!
Anyways, I'm out. Let me know when the next Cut & Run book is released.
![Profile Image for len ❀ [ia bc of school].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1753226014i%2F51318038._UX200_CR0%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
April 6, 2024
you know it’s bad when you can’t see the mc‘s growing old together. i don’t care if they are gonna get married, i still think they won’t last.
Hell or High Water series overview
Catch a Ghost | ★★★★☆
Long Time Gone | ★★★★☆
Daylight Again | ★★★☆☆
Not Fade Away | ★★☆☆☆
If I Ever | ★☆☆☆☆
Hell or High Water series overview
Catch a Ghost | ★★★★☆
Long Time Gone | ★★★★☆
Daylight Again | ★★★☆☆
Not Fade Away | ★★☆☆☆
If I Ever | ★☆☆☆☆
May 1, 2019
If I Ever is the looooooong awaited conclusion to Prophet and Tommy's (main) story. I read the other books, originally, back in 2014 so before diving into this one, I did a full reread -- I encourage you to do the same if it's been a while. Now, was it worth the wait? A definite YES!
Prophet and Tommy each have their ghosts, but not all of Prophet's ghosts are content to stay that way. John has haunted him and his team long enough and now is the time to finish things. So much hangs in the balance, here, so when they decide to go after John, once and for all, it's not just for their own safety, but for those they love.
Picking up pretty much where Daylight Again left off, If I Ever drags our guys through the wringer and when they come out the other side? Oh, they are strong and solid and whole. Secrets, secrets, and more secrets put unimaginable strain on Prophet and Tommy's relationship, testing them and their resolve and dedication to one another. There were a few touch and go moments within these pages, but I never actually doubted our guys would make it.
Wow, what a ride that was. A truly exciting, wild, ride. I look forward to reading more of Mal and Cillian's story and hopefully Doc and Nico, too. Stubborn men, always resisting....
I most definitely recommend If I Ever to fans of Prophet and Tommy.
--------------------------
Review copy of If I Ever was generously provided by the publisher, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
Prophet and Tommy each have their ghosts, but not all of Prophet's ghosts are content to stay that way. John has haunted him and his team long enough and now is the time to finish things. So much hangs in the balance, here, so when they decide to go after John, once and for all, it's not just for their own safety, but for those they love.
Picking up pretty much where Daylight Again left off, If I Ever drags our guys through the wringer and when they come out the other side? Oh, they are strong and solid and whole. Secrets, secrets, and more secrets put unimaginable strain on Prophet and Tommy's relationship, testing them and their resolve and dedication to one another. There were a few touch and go moments within these pages, but I never actually doubted our guys would make it.
Wow, what a ride that was. A truly exciting, wild, ride. I look forward to reading more of Mal and Cillian's story and hopefully Doc and Nico, too. Stubborn men, always resisting....
I most definitely recommend If I Ever to fans of Prophet and Tommy.
--------------------------
Review copy of If I Ever was generously provided by the publisher, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
January 24, 2019
Fans of SE Jakes’ “Hell or High Water” series, the wait is over. Trust me when I tell you it was worth it! The fourth and final episode of Prophet and Tom’s story, If I Ever, has all the action, drama, double dealing, and steamy hot and dirty sex I require in an SE Jakes novel. This one is spectacular!
I don’t want to spoil too much, but since it’s promised in the dedication, I can say that our boys do finally get their happily-ever-after. Before that happens however, Prophet has to face up to some tough obstacles.
Throughout this series, Ms. Jakes has been slowly revealing the details of what really went down with John, and it comes to a head in If I Ever. Through flashbacks we finally get the whole story. This insight into Prophet and John’s relationship, seeing the pivotal moments that changed everything, and watching Prophet put it all together... is intense.
Between facing ghosts from his past and coming to grips with his inevitable blindness, Prophet is finally able to truly let down his walls and allow Tom to see him bare and vulnerable. Tom’s been waiting a long time for this moment, and the intimacy between these two men is gorgeous.
If I Ever also opens up some unfinished business for the rest of the guys in the “Hell or High Water” series.
While this is the final installment in Prophet and Tom’s story it’s not the end. SE Jakes assures us our boys will make a few appearances in the next two episodes in her “Dirty Deeds” series, due out late 2019. So if you haven’t read Dirty Deeds, the first book of Mal and Cillian’s story, you have something to enjoy while the rest of us wait, because this collection is best read in order.
I don’t want to spoil too much, but since it’s promised in the dedication, I can say that our boys do finally get their happily-ever-after. Before that happens however, Prophet has to face up to some tough obstacles.
Throughout this series, Ms. Jakes has been slowly revealing the details of what really went down with John, and it comes to a head in If I Ever. Through flashbacks we finally get the whole story. This insight into Prophet and John’s relationship, seeing the pivotal moments that changed everything, and watching Prophet put it all together... is intense.
Between facing ghosts from his past and coming to grips with his inevitable blindness, Prophet is finally able to truly let down his walls and allow Tom to see him bare and vulnerable. Tom’s been waiting a long time for this moment, and the intimacy between these two men is gorgeous.
If I Ever also opens up some unfinished business for the rest of the guys in the “Hell or High Water” series.
While this is the final installment in Prophet and Tom’s story it’s not the end. SE Jakes assures us our boys will make a few appearances in the next two episodes in her “Dirty Deeds” series, due out late 2019. So if you haven’t read Dirty Deeds, the first book of Mal and Cillian’s story, you have something to enjoy while the rest of us wait, because this collection is best read in order.
Want to read
September 8, 2016
Part of me is happy to finally reach this point...
But the other part of me will probably be closer to this:
I don't want to say goodbye.
June 13, 2019
1 abysmal disappointing star ☹️🙄!! As much as it pains me to be so critical, I have to be honest.
This will be a long rant so bear with me. When I started reading the "Hell or Highwater" series by Ms Jakes, I had already been a fan of her other work (action-romance). And although I did know that the last book in the series was not out yet I was hopeful that it would soon be out and therefore I started on it. As expected the series was a high octane action-thriller-romance with the same MCs in a long running plot with some ensemble characters who showed up here and there to move the story along. What made it good was the amazing chemistry between the two MC’s and a suspenseful but positive story. Yes it was a little OTT sometimes, but overall the characters were fun and the story still was heavy on romance and steam. It was still essentially in the M/M genre.
However, after finishing the 3rd book, the waiting game for “If I Ever” stretched on and on 😰and obviously not only did I forget the story, MCs and the author but my likes and dislikes changed too. (I found better books😍) Nevertheless I was excited when the final book did come out this year and I got a copy as soon as possible. I even re-read book 3 to refresh my mind. 😊
But despite a promising beginning “If I Ever” is so convoluted in logic and reasoning that OTT doesn’t even fall in the realm anymore. There are just too many characters and the MCs are almost unrecognizable from the previous books. The plot has too many twists and turns that it can make one dizzy, also the long awaited meeting with the villain is so anti-climatic that it's ridiculous. This villain is so OTT is his caricature-like villainy and unfathomable power and reach that I ended up skipping pages just to avoid the cringe-worthy nastiness that ensued. Ugh!! 🙄🤢
Ultimately, this was a terrible book and I feel like I wasted my time and energy waiting for it and reading it. I don't think I will read any of her books moving forward (if I wanted to read a good spy-action thriller I would have picked up a Tom Clancy and not this BS).. and I thoroughly dislike when . I'm done!😬 I do not recommend this book, but if you have waited 3 years or more for it and want to check it out, please beware! 😳😱. As I found out, my tastes have changed and so has my tolerance for OTT plot-tropes. 🙄🤮
This will be a long rant so bear with me. When I started reading the "Hell or Highwater" series by Ms Jakes, I had already been a fan of her other work (action-romance). And although I did know that the last book in the series was not out yet I was hopeful that it would soon be out and therefore I started on it. As expected the series was a high octane action-thriller-romance with the same MCs in a long running plot with some ensemble characters who showed up here and there to move the story along. What made it good was the amazing chemistry between the two MC’s and a suspenseful but positive story. Yes it was a little OTT sometimes, but overall the characters were fun and the story still was heavy on romance and steam. It was still essentially in the M/M genre.
However, after finishing the 3rd book, the waiting game for “If I Ever” stretched on and on 😰and obviously not only did I forget the story, MCs and the author but my likes and dislikes changed too. (I found better books😍) Nevertheless I was excited when the final book did come out this year and I got a copy as soon as possible. I even re-read book 3 to refresh my mind. 😊
But despite a promising beginning “If I Ever” is so convoluted in logic and reasoning that OTT doesn’t even fall in the realm anymore. There are just too many characters and the MCs are almost unrecognizable from the previous books. The plot has too many twists and turns that it can make one dizzy, also the long awaited meeting with the villain is so anti-climatic that it's ridiculous. This villain is so OTT is his caricature-like villainy and unfathomable power and reach that I ended up skipping pages just to avoid the cringe-worthy nastiness that ensued. Ugh!! 🙄🤢
Ultimately, this was a terrible book and I feel like I wasted my time and energy waiting for it and reading it. I don't think I will read any of her books moving forward (if I wanted to read a good spy-action thriller I would have picked up a Tom Clancy and not this BS).. and I thoroughly dislike when . I'm done!😬 I do not recommend this book, but if you have waited 3 years or more for it and want to check it out, please beware! 😳😱. As I found out, my tastes have changed and so has my tolerance for OTT plot-tropes. 🙄🤮
January 27, 2019
I couldna ask for anything more:
For all the secrets kept deep inside so many people throughout this series, the payoffs are just as significant.
Mal is still and forever will be... just... everything. **
The bazillion bonds that inform the friendships between all of these people: LOVE. I LOVE. LOOOOOOVE.
Ren, oh Ren, you're a *veeeery* close second to Mal as the brilliant and organic comic relief, just by being yourself. And yes, you read that right: Mal made me snortle and cackle and all that more than anyone else. Like Ren, all that just by being himself.
Dialogue is spot on: consistent with each character, pulls emotions to the surface in a heartbeat, and gets mine going at a pace to match that of the story.
What a ride!
Growth: most of these characters experience it, particularly in their connections with each other, especially in coming to better understand each other and their motivations. Tommy n Cillian, mmm hmm.
A smorgasbord of the peeps we love, this is. Front and center, obvs, are our Tommy n Proph. All the hearts. *mic drop*
There are loads of storylines to keep track of, so be sure to do your re-read before starting this! Yup, you mos def want to have read the series before jumping in here, including Mick n Blue's "Free Falling".
There are some items that find their resolution within these pages that deserve a bit more focus, a bit more time spent, than has been granted. If that'd happened, we'd probably be looking at a GoT type length of a novel. This book is the longest in the series, and it coulda been longer, and I'da loved every additional word.
The writing and editing are strong in this one, my friends.
Dean, what's your story?? I want it. Your friendship with Prophet is a joy.
Doc... Doc! You deserve the world. Thatisall. Is Nico a part of it? You make me all verklempt. <3
Remy! You are the glue, my friend. Talk about bringing life into laser focus for Tommy and Prophet. And Mal. See? Toldja, Mal's everything.
This is a short review compared to what all is packed inside this thrilling, emotional, and intense story. If I word vomited like a boss, we'd be here for eons.
Go forth and enjoy!!!!
** not at all related to this book, or this review, but I don't care because: in reaction to a post in the FB group, I exclaimed "Omg... Mal needs a floofy!", meaning a cat. Yes, yes he does. What might Cillian think, hmm? ;)
For all the secrets kept deep inside so many people throughout this series, the payoffs are just as significant.
Mal is still and forever will be... just... everything. **
The bazillion bonds that inform the friendships between all of these people: LOVE. I LOVE. LOOOOOOVE.
Ren, oh Ren, you're a *veeeery* close second to Mal as the brilliant and organic comic relief, just by being yourself. And yes, you read that right: Mal made me snortle and cackle and all that more than anyone else. Like Ren, all that just by being himself.
Dialogue is spot on: consistent with each character, pulls emotions to the surface in a heartbeat, and gets mine going at a pace to match that of the story.
What a ride!
Growth: most of these characters experience it, particularly in their connections with each other, especially in coming to better understand each other and their motivations. Tommy n Cillian, mmm hmm.
A smorgasbord of the peeps we love, this is. Front and center, obvs, are our Tommy n Proph. All the hearts. *mic drop*
There are loads of storylines to keep track of, so be sure to do your re-read before starting this! Yup, you mos def want to have read the series before jumping in here, including Mick n Blue's "Free Falling".
There are some items that find their resolution within these pages that deserve a bit more focus, a bit more time spent, than has been granted. If that'd happened, we'd probably be looking at a GoT type length of a novel. This book is the longest in the series, and it coulda been longer, and I'da loved every additional word.
The writing and editing are strong in this one, my friends.
Dean, what's your story?? I want it. Your friendship with Prophet is a joy.
Doc... Doc! You deserve the world. Thatisall. Is Nico a part of it? You make me all verklempt. <3
Remy! You are the glue, my friend. Talk about bringing life into laser focus for Tommy and Prophet. And Mal. See? Toldja, Mal's everything.
This is a short review compared to what all is packed inside this thrilling, emotional, and intense story. If I word vomited like a boss, we'd be here for eons.
Go forth and enjoy!!!!
** not at all related to this book, or this review, but I don't care because: in reaction to a post in the FB group, I exclaimed "Omg... Mal needs a floofy!", meaning a cat. Yes, yes he does. What might Cillian think, hmm? ;)
Want to read
November 3, 2014~ ~ ~
Because reasons!
Because reasons!
June 30, 2024
Well...what can I say?? Absolutely Fab-u-lous. Loved it to bits. Not giving any spoilers away here, but I was left with a HUGE smile on my face at the end after much fist pumping and muted cheering [people still in bed here 😉]. I loved the banter, the camaraderie, the fact that Prophet and Tom actually DID have people they could rely on to be there for them [unlike some 🤬] without question and any barefaced lies.
I'm hoping [pretty please??] that the ending means that there'll be many more stories to come in the EE universe...I'm definitely not ready yet to say goodbye to all my boys 😍😍😍. Dear Author [😘]...may I say a massive THANK YOU for coming up with this superb story after what has been a shockingly bad few years for you... yes, some of us [including me at times if I'm being perfectly honest] may have thought that this story would never actually appear BUT I REALLY am very grateful that it's here now...and what a story it is!!
February 16, 2019
2 stars. I loved re-reading this series over the last few weeks. I love Tommy and Prophet so much. I didn’t like them through much of this book, however. Also I had trouble following the story. It was all over the place. There was just too much going on. Like a fireworks grand finale gone very wrong. Disappointed.
May 20, 2021
Re-read May 2021
__________
Worth the wait!! Sad to see the end of the series, but hopefully we will see more of the guys in Mal’s books.
__________
Worth the wait!! Sad to see the end of the series, but hopefully we will see more of the guys in Mal’s books.
April 9, 2019
It pains me to give Tommy & Prophet only 3 stars, but this book was so very confusing. I was lost for most of it. I didn't understand the plot. It drove me crazy that they can all read each other's minds! This book was all over the place and it makes me sad that this was their ending especially after waiting 5 years.
Want to read
May 30, 2015So I think I made a mistake starting this series... With no one having any idea when this book will release and nothing from the author. Plus the way the third book left everything. Really not a fan of reading series I am not sure will ever be finished. :(
June 30, 2024
While this book wonderfully wraps up the main plot narrative with John and all his wankerish behaviour, there's so many story threads left hanging for everyone.
Which is such a damn shame as there's been no sight of S.E. Jakes since 2019 and so it's highly unlikely we're ever going to get resolution for Cillian and Mal, and they're just as brilliant as Prophet and Tommy are.
But, there's no doubt that this book brings to an epic conclusion the fight to discover John and remove him from this Earth, as well as end his dangerous schemes and, for the most part, I was really happy with how that went.
There's some serious WTF moments, including a double cross reveal that I'd have never guessed in a million years, which made it ever more of a gut punch. But there's also those story threads mentioned above that haven't been answered because we don't have books two and three of the Dirty Deeds series.
I will say, the trigger warnings for this book need to be more prominently displayed because there's some serious on page stuff that needs content warnings written in neon clearly on the Blurb.
Overall, this is a hard book to read at times, Prophet and Tommy's relationship is probably more in danger of crashing and burning here than at any other time in the series, but there's also so much amazing support as well from the rest of Proph's team and the other guys who've managed to become part of this mixed up found family.
It's also confusing as fuck at times, even though I've literally just done a straight through binge read of the series (again, I lost my original reviews for some reason), but it still manages to be worth every single bit of the struggle.
I wish S.E. Jakes was still around writing, she's an incredibly talented manipulator of plots and emotions and I'm gutted that we're missing out on what I'm sure would have been as fabulous an ending for Cillian and Mal.
Which is such a damn shame as there's been no sight of S.E. Jakes since 2019 and so it's highly unlikely we're ever going to get resolution for Cillian and Mal, and they're just as brilliant as Prophet and Tommy are.
But, there's no doubt that this book brings to an epic conclusion the fight to discover John and remove him from this Earth, as well as end his dangerous schemes and, for the most part, I was really happy with how that went.
There's some serious WTF moments, including a double cross reveal that I'd have never guessed in a million years, which made it ever more of a gut punch. But there's also those story threads mentioned above that haven't been answered because we don't have books two and three of the Dirty Deeds series.
I will say, the trigger warnings for this book need to be more prominently displayed because there's some serious on page stuff that needs content warnings written in neon clearly on the Blurb.
Overall, this is a hard book to read at times, Prophet and Tommy's relationship is probably more in danger of crashing and burning here than at any other time in the series, but there's also so much amazing support as well from the rest of Proph's team and the other guys who've managed to become part of this mixed up found family.
It's also confusing as fuck at times, even though I've literally just done a straight through binge read of the series (again, I lost my original reviews for some reason), but it still manages to be worth every single bit of the struggle.
I wish S.E. Jakes was still around writing, she's an incredibly talented manipulator of plots and emotions and I'm gutted that we're missing out on what I'm sure would have been as fabulous an ending for Cillian and Mal.
February 7, 2019
*closes eyes, takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out*
Unpopular Opinion Time:
This book was a hot mess. After all these years of waiting for the conclusion of this series I expected a flawless story but, all I got were a bunch of starts and stops and unnecessary side characters followed by their unnecessary POV’s. It was too much and not enough if that makes any sense and if it doesn’t well neither did this book so... *shrugs shoulders*
I re-read the previous books so I wouldn’t be lost but ended up lost anyway. I almost DNF’d but I didn’t, I, I couldn’t, my loyalty towards Tom and Prophet pushed me to see it through to the end. The problem for me was that this book had no rhythm. It was just words on a page intermingled with sex scenes.
I feel like the author wants to expand the E.E, Ltd universe and in doing so she diluted the MC’s into these matte-monochromatic-versions of themselves to pique the interest of the secondary characters. Which IMO was an epic fail cos all it did was make me feel taken for-granted as a fan, like I’ll blindly follow where she leads (I think the fuck not). These weren’t the men I fell in love with. Not by a long shot. It felt like I was reading them through a funhouse-mirror, they were nothing but a reflected and distorted image of the originals. 3 stars cos I don’t have it in me to give it the rating I feel it truly deserves. 🥺😢😭
Unpopular Opinion Time:
This book was a hot mess. After all these years of waiting for the conclusion of this series I expected a flawless story but, all I got were a bunch of starts and stops and unnecessary side characters followed by their unnecessary POV’s. It was too much and not enough if that makes any sense and if it doesn’t well neither did this book so... *shrugs shoulders*
I re-read the previous books so I wouldn’t be lost but ended up lost anyway. I almost DNF’d but I didn’t, I, I couldn’t, my loyalty towards Tom and Prophet pushed me to see it through to the end. The problem for me was that this book had no rhythm. It was just words on a page intermingled with sex scenes.
I feel like the author wants to expand the E.E, Ltd universe and in doing so she diluted the MC’s into these matte-monochromatic-versions of themselves to pique the interest of the secondary characters. Which IMO was an epic fail cos all it did was make me feel taken for-granted as a fan, like I’ll blindly follow where she leads (I think the fuck not). These weren’t the men I fell in love with. Not by a long shot. It felt like I was reading them through a funhouse-mirror, they were nothing but a reflected and distorted image of the originals. 3 stars cos I don’t have it in me to give it the rating I feel it truly deserves. 🥺😢😭
February 3, 2019
Omg I saw an Instagram post she has wrote the words and sent to editor! I might pass out
July 27, 2020
*Spoilers below*
The Hell or High Water series is on my favourite series list. When I first read these books, Prophet, Tommy, Mal, and the rest of the gang, won my heart.
But it's been over six years since I read Daylight Again. Since then, my tastes have definitely changed. Also, after such a long break, I'm simply not as invested in the characters as I used to be.
So maybe it's not surprising that 'If I Ever' just did not live up to how I should have felt about Tommy and Prophet's happy ending.
First - Prophet and Tommy made absolutely no progress in communicating without fighting or having sex. They've always been emotionally stunted, but I'd hoped that a HEA would involve some sort of character/relationship breakthrough.
Second - the plot. I've definitely forgotten some of the finer details of the overarching conspiracy from previous books, so that's on me. However, even then, this was quite a convoluted story. I did still find myself entertained by the action, but I just couldn't take John seriously. He was just such a caricature of a villain, with no depth.
And then there was
Am I glad that Prophet and Tommy get their happy ending with their chosen family? Yes. Did I get much enjoyment out of this finale? No.
Am I still on-board for Mal's story? Absolutely.
Your mileage may vary.
Review copy provided through NetGalley
The Hell or High Water series is on my favourite series list. When I first read these books, Prophet, Tommy, Mal, and the rest of the gang, won my heart.
But it's been over six years since I read Daylight Again. Since then, my tastes have definitely changed. Also, after such a long break, I'm simply not as invested in the characters as I used to be.
So maybe it's not surprising that 'If I Ever' just did not live up to how I should have felt about Tommy and Prophet's happy ending.
First - Prophet and Tommy made absolutely no progress in communicating without fighting or having sex. They've always been emotionally stunted, but I'd hoped that a HEA would involve some sort of character/relationship breakthrough.
Second - the plot. I've definitely forgotten some of the finer details of the overarching conspiracy from previous books, so that's on me. However, even then, this was quite a convoluted story. I did still find myself entertained by the action, but I just couldn't take John seriously. He was just such a caricature of a villain, with no depth.
And then there was
Am I glad that Prophet and Tommy get their happy ending with their chosen family? Yes. Did I get much enjoyment out of this finale? No.
Am I still on-board for Mal's story? Absolutely.
Your mileage may vary.
Review copy provided through NetGalley
June 1, 2020
Overall book rating: 4.5
Audio Book: I quit the audio - see bottom of review for reason
Book Cover: 4.5
It was......
Let it not be said that Proph and Tom didn’t end it witha BANG
It was worth the wait.
Yes, has Wendy put it, there were times I didn’t know what the hell was going on, and I had to read it over a few times. BUT – It didn’t matter.
I love them! They are one of my favorite couples ever and this book was a great ending to this series.
There is a whole lot of everything going on, a lot to deal with between Prophet and Tommy. Good and bad. It's what SE Jakes did so well with the series, even with all the action going on Tommy and Lija keeps that special connections and on page time.
I swear, when Proph calls Tom "Tommy" my toes curl. Visa versa with the "Lija" thing. I go goo-goo eyes. It's so hot/sweet/special/sexy.
I can’t wait to dive into the rest of the team with SE Jakes. I hope they come soon.
PS: I gave up on the audio book with this one because for some reason the Narrator was not the same person. I could still maybe work with that BUT - When he started pronouncing Cillian's name WRONG it drove me BAT-SH*T-CRAZY and I switched to reading before it spoiled everything. There was also NO sign of Tom's Cajun drawl. It felt like the narrator didn't know the characters at all.
If you take over a series, at least be familiar with the tiny details of name PRONOUNCING and ACCENTS right??
Audio Book: I quit the audio - see bottom of review for reason
Book Cover: 4.5
It was......
Let it not be said that Proph and Tom didn’t end it witha BANG
It was worth the wait.
Yes, has Wendy put it, there were times I didn’t know what the hell was going on, and I had to read it over a few times. BUT – It didn’t matter.
I love them! They are one of my favorite couples ever and this book was a great ending to this series.
There is a whole lot of everything going on, a lot to deal with between Prophet and Tommy. Good and bad. It's what SE Jakes did so well with the series, even with all the action going on Tommy and Lija keeps that special connections and on page time.
I swear, when Proph calls Tom "Tommy" my toes curl. Visa versa with the "Lija" thing. I go goo-goo eyes. It's so hot/sweet/special/sexy.
I can’t wait to dive into the rest of the team with SE Jakes. I hope they come soon.
PS: I gave up on the audio book with this one because for some reason the Narrator was not the same person. I could still maybe work with that BUT - When he started pronouncing Cillian's name WRONG it drove me BAT-SH*T-CRAZY and I switched to reading before it spoiled everything. There was also NO sign of Tom's Cajun drawl. It felt like the narrator didn't know the characters at all.
If you take over a series, at least be familiar with the tiny details of name PRONOUNCING and ACCENTS right??
Want to read
December 21, 2018HOLY SHITBALLS! It's got a release date. 21Jan2019
I JUST SAID - only a couple of days ago - in one of my challenges that if I could have any book for Christmas it would be this one. (Well, plus the By Degrees & Shattered Glass books we'renot so patiently waiting on.) BUT STILL!
Pre-Ordering from Riptide as a gift to myself.
I JUST SAID - only a couple of days ago - in one of my challenges that if I could have any book for Christmas it would be this one. (Well, plus the By Degrees & Shattered Glass books we're
Pre-Ordering from Riptide as a gift to myself.
February 8, 2019
4.5 stars ... what a fabulous conclusion to this series .. or is it ? I love Tommy & Prophet and they deserved their ending ( no spoilers ) it was intense, non stop and constant. I loved having all the guys together and even though it was a while between books, I fell back into this covert world pretty easily. Well worth the read
January 25, 2019
If I Ever harkens back to a simpler time, when the genre of Man-lovin'-Man Romance was more akin to lady-approved fantasy porn: An amalgamation of toxically masculine yet sensitive heroes, expression of unfulfilled sexual desires, cultural stereotypes and action movie clichés.
It was a world where all men were alpha males and all men were at least partially gay - and by partially gay, that means probably fully gay. It was a world where all men were special forces operatives and lusted after each other at the most inappropriate times, where all men were bullet proof and could perform impossible feats - as if every individual were a cross between Dolph Lundgren in Army of One and MacGyver. They were passionate in their careers (carnage was part of their existence) as well as in the bedroom ( BDSM-tinged sexy times solved all problems) - all the while conforming to (or striving for) the most heteronormative of ideals: monogamy, marriage, children. It was a world wholly unconstrained by politically correct concerns or the subtleties of the modern world. It was a world that was about as far from reality as one could get in a contemporary setting.
In other words, If I Ever is a book out of time. The last in a series of four books that follow the adventures of Prophet and Tommy as they chase and vanquish old demons. All of the above points aside - the first three books were nothing if not entertaining, like gay porn had a threesome with Rambo and 10 Things I Hate About You.
Unlike the previous books, this much-delayed last episode cannot recapture the spark of its predecessors. There is very little plot- but what there is of it is largely non-sensical. SE Jakes has never been one for coherent plotting or sensical story lines - they tend to be frantic and on the verge of ridiculous. But here, it feels like the world’s longest Scooby Doo episode or a really bad 3rd rate rip-off Mission Impossible, where all the side characters are plotting with other side characters and it is nigh impossible to keep track of who wants what in any of the given scenarios. Granted, if one lets it go, and foregoes trying to understand whether the CIA wants Prophet and his team dead or not, or who John (arch-nemesis and villain) was working for and how many illogical twists and reveals there have been - the story remains readable… Until the big showdown with John turns out to be… disappointing…anti-climactic for all its melodrama… For a plotline that has threaded through all previous books, there should have been a real emotional payoff and a lot of action, but it gets resolved more or less in the same fashion as everything else in this book, and the story just moves right along to some more plot points and another villain.
There’s a lot of sex, of the pc and un-pc variety, of the consensual and non-consensual variety - but it lacks the ridiculous passion that Prophet and Tommy had previously. Like the rest of the book, it’s as if someone wrote a really well-done forgery of the old Hell or High Water series - almost there, but not quite. Maybe times have changed too much and the genre has grown and more sophisticated offerings are available...maybe the interest to finally finish the story wasn’t quite there. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t quite worth the wait either.
It was a world where all men were alpha males and all men were at least partially gay - and by partially gay, that means probably fully gay. It was a world where all men were special forces operatives and lusted after each other at the most inappropriate times, where all men were bullet proof and could perform impossible feats - as if every individual were a cross between Dolph Lundgren in Army of One and MacGyver. They were passionate in their careers (carnage was part of their existence) as well as in the bedroom ( BDSM-tinged sexy times solved all problems) - all the while conforming to (or striving for) the most heteronormative of ideals: monogamy, marriage, children. It was a world wholly unconstrained by politically correct concerns or the subtleties of the modern world. It was a world that was about as far from reality as one could get in a contemporary setting.
In other words, If I Ever is a book out of time. The last in a series of four books that follow the adventures of Prophet and Tommy as they chase and vanquish old demons. All of the above points aside - the first three books were nothing if not entertaining, like gay porn had a threesome with Rambo and 10 Things I Hate About You.
Unlike the previous books, this much-delayed last episode cannot recapture the spark of its predecessors. There is very little plot- but what there is of it is largely non-sensical. SE Jakes has never been one for coherent plotting or sensical story lines - they tend to be frantic and on the verge of ridiculous. But here, it feels like the world’s longest Scooby Doo episode or a really bad 3rd rate rip-off Mission Impossible, where all the side characters are plotting with other side characters and it is nigh impossible to keep track of who wants what in any of the given scenarios. Granted, if one lets it go, and foregoes trying to understand whether the CIA wants Prophet and his team dead or not, or who John (arch-nemesis and villain) was working for and how many illogical twists and reveals there have been - the story remains readable… Until the big showdown with John turns out to be… disappointing…anti-climactic for all its melodrama… For a plotline that has threaded through all previous books, there should have been a real emotional payoff and a lot of action, but it gets resolved more or less in the same fashion as everything else in this book, and the story just moves right along to some more plot points and another villain.
There’s a lot of sex, of the pc and un-pc variety, of the consensual and non-consensual variety - but it lacks the ridiculous passion that Prophet and Tommy had previously. Like the rest of the book, it’s as if someone wrote a really well-done forgery of the old Hell or High Water series - almost there, but not quite. Maybe times have changed too much and the genre has grown and more sophisticated offerings are available...maybe the interest to finally finish the story wasn’t quite there. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t quite worth the wait either.
January 25, 2019
Finally, a book checked off my "lost books" shelf!
I'll be honest, I'm kind of let down, here. It felt like the author was trying to make up for leaving readers hanging for so damned long by throwing everything possible into the plot. There were backstabs and betrayals every where you looked, a surprise revelation (or two) about Tom's old FBI mentor, AND the guy that recruited him for EE, and at least one surprise mission that I kept thinking would figure into the main plot, but apparently had nothing to do with anything, other than to add more pages. It meant nothing to the main plot, at all, other than to introduce us to yet another, in a long long line of new characters. This story was LONG and it read longer, IMO. Whole chunks could have been cut out, and probably made it easier to understand. I'm still not quite sure who all was good and who all was bad here, and who all was fucking everyone over.
Also, I really think this book should come with a trigger warning, in the blurb, for
I'll be honest, I'm kind of let down, here. It felt like the author was trying to make up for leaving readers hanging for so damned long by throwing everything possible into the plot. There were backstabs and betrayals every where you looked, a surprise revelation (or two) about Tom's old FBI mentor, AND the guy that recruited him for EE, and at least one surprise mission that I kept thinking would figure into the main plot, but apparently had nothing to do with anything, other than to add more pages. It meant nothing to the main plot, at all, other than to introduce us to yet another, in a long long line of new characters. This story was LONG and it read longer, IMO. Whole chunks could have been cut out, and probably made it easier to understand. I'm still not quite sure who all was good and who all was bad here, and who all was fucking everyone over.
Also, I really think this book should come with a trigger warning, in the blurb, for
Read
January 24, 2019JC what a roller-coaster. I don't know how to rate this one yet, the ending didn't feel like it was enough for me so feeling abit down unless I'm feeling that because it's the end.
If anything, I have learnt a very valuable lesson here. Do not start a series that is not complete.
I have looked and searched and nothing is mentioned about this 4th book. (sad face) I really love the series and have just finished reading it again. But I think I'm done.
If anything, I have learnt a very valuable lesson here. Do not start a series that is not complete.
I have looked and searched and nothing is mentioned about this 4th book. (sad face) I really love the series and have just finished reading it again. But I think I'm done.
March 8, 2019
If I Ever was long awaited and 10 stars did not disappoint! It tied up all the loose ends on an unbelievably long and convoluted story. Prophet and Tommy are my all-time favorite fictional couple and I was worried so much time had passed that the author would “lose” their voices; but not so. The boys were perfect and their HEA was everything they are: sexy, funny and heartwarming.
But I’m not going to lie. I had to go back and re-read to put all the pieces together; and for myself I’m recapping the major plotline which runs through books 1 – 3; none of which includes spoilers for If I Ever Book 4.
• Prophet and John meet at 12, become lovers and join the Navy at 17.
• At 21 their first CO LT involves them in missions rescuing POWs and guarding/transporting Specialists. LT’s brother Dean is a former Marine and former POW.
• Prophet’s Seal team gets assigned to escort Specialist Nuclear Physicist Hal.
• Hal was CIA Agent Lansing’s recruit, he wanted a more experienced team guarding him, but Prophet & John got the mission on LT’s recommendation.
• Prophet promises Hal if anything happens to him, he’ll keep his son Gary safe. Prophet gives Gary a direct line to him with an emergency code.
• Prophet and John get set up & ambushed. Prophet does his job and takes out Hal before he can be compromised.
• Prophet and John are kidnapped and tortured by the terrorist Azar. John was supposedly shot and killed by Azar because Prophet wouldn’t answer his questions, but he never saw John’s body.
• Prophet kills Azar but when the CIA “rescues” him– there are no bodies – not Hal’s, Azar’s or John’s.
• The CIA suspects John and Prophet of having been complicit in a terrorist plot with Azar. They think John is alive and the leader of a terrorist cell.
• Prophet is tortured by the CIA and raped by Lansing. During a subsequent interrogation, Prophet almost kills Lansing. The video circulates through the CIA, making Prophet wanted as a desirable operative and making it impossible for Lansing to kill him.
• Lansing threatens to kill anyone Prophet gets involved with on and off the job and to kill his team members if he finds out Prophet has met with them. Lansing feels Prophet fucked with the most important job of his career and says he’ll pay until he brings him John. Over the next 10 years Prophet never has a consistent work partner, keeps contact with his teammates to a minimum, and has no relationships other that 1-night stands - until Tom.
• After being released by the CIA, Prophet goes AWOL for 2 years looking for John because he wants to believe he’s innocent.
• With Prophet MIA, the CIA questions his teammates who are awaiting possible court martial. The CIA lets them go free (or sort of free) only if Prophet comes home; so, he does.
• Then the CIA saves Prophet from a court martial and blackmails him into working for them, which he does for about a year.
• Prophet meets Phil on a joint mission with Force Recon. When Prophet lost himself for 2 years, Phil found him and offered him a job in his new company EE.
• Phil meets Tom when he is in the FBI, he later stages a scenario is which they “run into each other” so he can recruit Tom into EE.
• 3 years before Prophet meets Tom; Cillian international financier and spy, moves into Prophet’s building and starts insinuating himself into his life. Mal gets his throat cut around this time and he suspects John.
• Just Before Tom joins EE he is anonymously sent the Lansing video.
• Tom and Prophet’s first (and only) EE sanctioned mission turns into investigating the murder of John’s brother, Christopher Morse, who was found dead in a dumpster – 10 years to the day that Prophet met Hal.
• Prophet and Tom get kidnapped by Sadiq, Azar’s brother. Christopher was killed because he refused to lure Prophet to Sadiq.
• Hal’s son Gary chooses this moment to rebel & protest his father’s death. He uses his emergency code to lure Prophet to Sadiq. He thinks this will avenge his father’s death and give him a normal life back.
• Gary realizes too late Sadiq is going to force him to build nuclear triggers like his father.
• Someone gives Tom the coordinates to the warehouse where Sadiq is holding Prophet; and Tom gets himself kidnapped too.
• Cillian comes to the rescue. Sadiq tries to spirit Gary away via helo, Cillian rigs it to blow and lets Prophet think Gary is dead.
• Prophet realizes Cillian is looking for John. He asks Cillian to help him track down John; Cillian says John is dead, but Prophet and his team suspect he is lying and assign Mal to shadow Cillian.
• Mal is the only member of Prophet’s Seal team Cillian has never been able to ID. Mal enlisted in the Navy under an alias thanks to WITSEC and is listed as MIA under his real name Seamus Dwyer
• Prophet and Tom reunite 4 months after the kidnapping, Prophet confirms that Sadiq has a bounty on them. He’s been looking for Sadiq just enough so that Sadiq doesn’t find him or Tom. Sadiq called on Gary’s phone with threats. Sadiq thinks Tom could lead him to Prophet.
• Tom mentions to Prophet that Ollie was his mentor at the FBI. Ollie was another of Hal’s “identities”. Prophet is aware of this but doesn’t tell Tom.
• Tom learns Prophet is in contact with his Seal team who all have bounties on their heads and are living like refugees out of the country. The CIA ordered them not to get together. They are all under suspicion because of John. Prophet is the only one allowed to remain in the States and work.
• Dean is kidnapped again and LT calls Prophet for help. He brings Tom on the rescue mission in Djibouti.
• Prophet knows Lansing is trailing him. He plans to confront him and beat some information out of him, but he loses his shit. He knocks Lansing out and Tommy takes over and sends Prophet along to meet LT.
• Lansing tells Tom he can prove John helped Azar plan the attack on his own team and that he and Prophet are running a terrorist organization. Lansing thinks Prophet will lead him to John, says Prophet rescuing Specialists & POWs lines up with terrorist attacks around the globe (which is true, because Prophet had been following John) and that Prophet has been “collecting” Specialists so he and john can use them in their terror plots.
• Mal hears John’s voice on intel from one of Cillian’s sources and confirms he is alive. He learns Cillian’s informants are on John’s (& Sadiq’s) payroll and plan to kill Cillian.
• Cillian works for a mysterious organization known as SB-20. They know John sold out his team and country and have Cillian tracking Prophet, he suspects to also track John. Cillian suspects John was behind Sadiq’s kidnapping of Prophet. Cillian plans to kill John.
• The team meets in Amsterdam and learn Cillian’s sources have a lead on a Specialist buried by the CIA being actively sought by Sadiq. They plan to get him so they can leverage him to smoke out Sadiq and John.
• Mal fucks Cillian in Amsterdam. He learns that if Prophet gets to the bottom of the John mystery Cillian is supposed to kill Prophet but thinks Cillian is on their side and doesn’t want to. Mal says Cillian needs their help because his own agency wants to kill him. Mal learns Cillian is the one who cut his throat mistaking Mal for John.
• Tom learns that over the past decade Prophet’s team was tracking John and making sure he couldn’t get the help he needed through the Specialists the CIA has hidden. They thought someone from the CIA was possibly working with John and letting him use Specialists. They figured they could give the Specialists a better shot at hiding successfully than the CIA. Hook watches over the Specialists, while Ren and King rescue and move them as necessary. In between they tried to gain intel on new terror threats and collected chatter on Sadiq, assuming it would tie to John. The intel showed “practice rounds”, small acts of terror they attributed to Sadiq and John, then pointed to 2 new threats picked up by Homeland Security which appear to be their efforts to move to a larger scale. Prophet is incriminated as in tracking John he flew into the places where the smaller incidents happened within 12 to 48 hours. It could look like he was covering up his tracks instead of hunting John and looking for any specialists & their family members who needed help in the aftermath.
• With intel from Cillian’s people, Mal learns Sadiq will be at a compound near Djibouti, close to the Somali border.
• To ensure Sadiq’s presence they lure him with a Specialist. Sadiq needs someone to build nuclear triggers.
• CIA agent “John Paul” shows up at Prophet and Tom’s apartment looking into the death of Agent Lansing. Cillian pretends to be their lawyer. And figures out who Mal is (sort of). Cillian killed Lansing and admits he’s been indirectly helping Prophet and that he was supposed to kill him if he got too close to John. Cillian left SB-20 because they’re trying to kill him & he suspects they lied about their reasons for wanting John, that they want him alive not dead, and that they want him, Prophet, Tom and anyone left who has any knowledge of John dead. He suggests joining forces.
• Cillian’s organization showed him the Lansing video to convince him of Prophet’s guilt and it did the opposite. Cillian sent the video to Tom.
• Cillian tells them Gary is alive. Cillian has been hiding him & Gary wants to help with the plan to smoke Sadiq out
• Sadiq takes the bait, Gary lets himself be handed off again. Tom and Prophet allow themselves to be captured, by Sadiq. Gary puts poison on the nuclear triggers he’s building and tricks Sadiq into grabbing one. Sadiq is incapacitated and Prophet kills him.
• Prophet realizes some of his flashbacks have been set off by actual visits from John via his fire escape. He traces the route to an alley and finds John’s desert BDU jacket hidden behind a dumpster.
If I Ever picks up with Prophet finding the evidence that John has been insinuating himself into his flashbacks and committing to turning the tables on him and ending it once and for all. It quickly becomes clear that John is an even bigger asshole than suspected and that there’ll be no love lost when he goes down. Prophet and Tom are off to Dean’s; certain John will take the bait and follow. And of course, the CIA gets in on the act as they have a vested interested in containing John, and Cillian has his own loose ends to tie up. I loved that everyone was brought together for the grand finale.
Prophet and Tom must work for their HEA. All of Prophets secrets see the light of day and for awhile it gets pretty tense. But in the end the gypsy woman who read Prophet's palm in Tom's "High Water Parrish", had it right on the money. The story doesn't end with John either, there are still a few more layers to peel off the onion; and then of course the groundwork gets laid for future stories. The tension between Cillian and Mal was palpable (and hot), my curiosity is piqued about Doc and Nico and whatever is up between King and Ren and poor Dean - he needs someone to look after him (other than Reggie). I'd even read the serialized adventures of Phil and the over-the-hill gang. I'm hoping there are still alot of stories to tell in the EE universe and that we get to see more domesticated glimpses of Prophet, Tommy and Remy with visits from Uncle Insanity.
But I’m not going to lie. I had to go back and re-read to put all the pieces together; and for myself I’m recapping the major plotline which runs through books 1 – 3; none of which includes spoilers for If I Ever Book 4.
• Prophet and John meet at 12, become lovers and join the Navy at 17.
• At 21 their first CO LT involves them in missions rescuing POWs and guarding/transporting Specialists. LT’s brother Dean is a former Marine and former POW.
• Prophet’s Seal team gets assigned to escort Specialist Nuclear Physicist Hal.
• Hal was CIA Agent Lansing’s recruit, he wanted a more experienced team guarding him, but Prophet & John got the mission on LT’s recommendation.
• Prophet promises Hal if anything happens to him, he’ll keep his son Gary safe. Prophet gives Gary a direct line to him with an emergency code.
• Prophet and John get set up & ambushed. Prophet does his job and takes out Hal before he can be compromised.
• Prophet and John are kidnapped and tortured by the terrorist Azar. John was supposedly shot and killed by Azar because Prophet wouldn’t answer his questions, but he never saw John’s body.
• Prophet kills Azar but when the CIA “rescues” him– there are no bodies – not Hal’s, Azar’s or John’s.
• The CIA suspects John and Prophet of having been complicit in a terrorist plot with Azar. They think John is alive and the leader of a terrorist cell.
• Prophet is tortured by the CIA and raped by Lansing. During a subsequent interrogation, Prophet almost kills Lansing. The video circulates through the CIA, making Prophet wanted as a desirable operative and making it impossible for Lansing to kill him.
• Lansing threatens to kill anyone Prophet gets involved with on and off the job and to kill his team members if he finds out Prophet has met with them. Lansing feels Prophet fucked with the most important job of his career and says he’ll pay until he brings him John. Over the next 10 years Prophet never has a consistent work partner, keeps contact with his teammates to a minimum, and has no relationships other that 1-night stands - until Tom.
• After being released by the CIA, Prophet goes AWOL for 2 years looking for John because he wants to believe he’s innocent.
• With Prophet MIA, the CIA questions his teammates who are awaiting possible court martial. The CIA lets them go free (or sort of free) only if Prophet comes home; so, he does.
• Then the CIA saves Prophet from a court martial and blackmails him into working for them, which he does for about a year.
• Prophet meets Phil on a joint mission with Force Recon. When Prophet lost himself for 2 years, Phil found him and offered him a job in his new company EE.
• Phil meets Tom when he is in the FBI, he later stages a scenario is which they “run into each other” so he can recruit Tom into EE.
• 3 years before Prophet meets Tom; Cillian international financier and spy, moves into Prophet’s building and starts insinuating himself into his life. Mal gets his throat cut around this time and he suspects John.
• Just Before Tom joins EE he is anonymously sent the Lansing video.
• Tom and Prophet’s first (and only) EE sanctioned mission turns into investigating the murder of John’s brother, Christopher Morse, who was found dead in a dumpster – 10 years to the day that Prophet met Hal.
• Prophet and Tom get kidnapped by Sadiq, Azar’s brother. Christopher was killed because he refused to lure Prophet to Sadiq.
• Hal’s son Gary chooses this moment to rebel & protest his father’s death. He uses his emergency code to lure Prophet to Sadiq. He thinks this will avenge his father’s death and give him a normal life back.
• Gary realizes too late Sadiq is going to force him to build nuclear triggers like his father.
• Someone gives Tom the coordinates to the warehouse where Sadiq is holding Prophet; and Tom gets himself kidnapped too.
• Cillian comes to the rescue. Sadiq tries to spirit Gary away via helo, Cillian rigs it to blow and lets Prophet think Gary is dead.
• Prophet realizes Cillian is looking for John. He asks Cillian to help him track down John; Cillian says John is dead, but Prophet and his team suspect he is lying and assign Mal to shadow Cillian.
• Mal is the only member of Prophet’s Seal team Cillian has never been able to ID. Mal enlisted in the Navy under an alias thanks to WITSEC and is listed as MIA under his real name Seamus Dwyer
• Prophet and Tom reunite 4 months after the kidnapping, Prophet confirms that Sadiq has a bounty on them. He’s been looking for Sadiq just enough so that Sadiq doesn’t find him or Tom. Sadiq called on Gary’s phone with threats. Sadiq thinks Tom could lead him to Prophet.
• Tom mentions to Prophet that Ollie was his mentor at the FBI. Ollie was another of Hal’s “identities”. Prophet is aware of this but doesn’t tell Tom.
• Tom learns Prophet is in contact with his Seal team who all have bounties on their heads and are living like refugees out of the country. The CIA ordered them not to get together. They are all under suspicion because of John. Prophet is the only one allowed to remain in the States and work.
• Dean is kidnapped again and LT calls Prophet for help. He brings Tom on the rescue mission in Djibouti.
• Prophet knows Lansing is trailing him. He plans to confront him and beat some information out of him, but he loses his shit. He knocks Lansing out and Tommy takes over and sends Prophet along to meet LT.
• Lansing tells Tom he can prove John helped Azar plan the attack on his own team and that he and Prophet are running a terrorist organization. Lansing thinks Prophet will lead him to John, says Prophet rescuing Specialists & POWs lines up with terrorist attacks around the globe (which is true, because Prophet had been following John) and that Prophet has been “collecting” Specialists so he and john can use them in their terror plots.
• Mal hears John’s voice on intel from one of Cillian’s sources and confirms he is alive. He learns Cillian’s informants are on John’s (& Sadiq’s) payroll and plan to kill Cillian.
• Cillian works for a mysterious organization known as SB-20. They know John sold out his team and country and have Cillian tracking Prophet, he suspects to also track John. Cillian suspects John was behind Sadiq’s kidnapping of Prophet. Cillian plans to kill John.
• The team meets in Amsterdam and learn Cillian’s sources have a lead on a Specialist buried by the CIA being actively sought by Sadiq. They plan to get him so they can leverage him to smoke out Sadiq and John.
• Mal fucks Cillian in Amsterdam. He learns that if Prophet gets to the bottom of the John mystery Cillian is supposed to kill Prophet but thinks Cillian is on their side and doesn’t want to. Mal says Cillian needs their help because his own agency wants to kill him. Mal learns Cillian is the one who cut his throat mistaking Mal for John.
• Tom learns that over the past decade Prophet’s team was tracking John and making sure he couldn’t get the help he needed through the Specialists the CIA has hidden. They thought someone from the CIA was possibly working with John and letting him use Specialists. They figured they could give the Specialists a better shot at hiding successfully than the CIA. Hook watches over the Specialists, while Ren and King rescue and move them as necessary. In between they tried to gain intel on new terror threats and collected chatter on Sadiq, assuming it would tie to John. The intel showed “practice rounds”, small acts of terror they attributed to Sadiq and John, then pointed to 2 new threats picked up by Homeland Security which appear to be their efforts to move to a larger scale. Prophet is incriminated as in tracking John he flew into the places where the smaller incidents happened within 12 to 48 hours. It could look like he was covering up his tracks instead of hunting John and looking for any specialists & their family members who needed help in the aftermath.
• With intel from Cillian’s people, Mal learns Sadiq will be at a compound near Djibouti, close to the Somali border.
• To ensure Sadiq’s presence they lure him with a Specialist. Sadiq needs someone to build nuclear triggers.
• CIA agent “John Paul” shows up at Prophet and Tom’s apartment looking into the death of Agent Lansing. Cillian pretends to be their lawyer. And figures out who Mal is (sort of). Cillian killed Lansing and admits he’s been indirectly helping Prophet and that he was supposed to kill him if he got too close to John. Cillian left SB-20 because they’re trying to kill him & he suspects they lied about their reasons for wanting John, that they want him alive not dead, and that they want him, Prophet, Tom and anyone left who has any knowledge of John dead. He suggests joining forces.
• Cillian’s organization showed him the Lansing video to convince him of Prophet’s guilt and it did the opposite. Cillian sent the video to Tom.
• Cillian tells them Gary is alive. Cillian has been hiding him & Gary wants to help with the plan to smoke Sadiq out
• Sadiq takes the bait, Gary lets himself be handed off again. Tom and Prophet allow themselves to be captured, by Sadiq. Gary puts poison on the nuclear triggers he’s building and tricks Sadiq into grabbing one. Sadiq is incapacitated and Prophet kills him.
• Prophet realizes some of his flashbacks have been set off by actual visits from John via his fire escape. He traces the route to an alley and finds John’s desert BDU jacket hidden behind a dumpster.
If I Ever picks up with Prophet finding the evidence that John has been insinuating himself into his flashbacks and committing to turning the tables on him and ending it once and for all. It quickly becomes clear that John is an even bigger asshole than suspected and that there’ll be no love lost when he goes down. Prophet and Tom are off to Dean’s; certain John will take the bait and follow. And of course, the CIA gets in on the act as they have a vested interested in containing John, and Cillian has his own loose ends to tie up. I loved that everyone was brought together for the grand finale.
Prophet and Tom must work for their HEA. All of Prophets secrets see the light of day and for awhile it gets pretty tense. But in the end the gypsy woman who read Prophet's palm in Tom's "High Water Parrish", had it right on the money. The story doesn't end with John either, there are still a few more layers to peel off the onion; and then of course the groundwork gets laid for future stories. The tension between Cillian and Mal was palpable (and hot), my curiosity is piqued about Doc and Nico and whatever is up between King and Ren and poor Dean - he needs someone to look after him (other than Reggie). I'd even read the serialized adventures of Phil and the over-the-hill gang. I'm hoping there are still alot of stories to tell in the EE universe and that we get to see more domesticated glimpses of Prophet, Tommy and Remy with visits from Uncle Insanity.
Want to read
December 30, 2015WHEN?!
January 23, 2019
To say this book was a long-time coming would be a gross understatement. However, given the circumstances and what Ms. Jakes has been through for the past few years, I’m grateful she came through with this at all.
That said, it has been approximately five years since the previous book, and had I had more notice of when this was actually coming out, I would have liked to have gone back and re-read this series to freshen my memory. I highly recommend that plan of action. As I started this, there were many things that came right back to me, but for every memory awakened, there were twice as many lost. I found it difficult remembering who a lot of the players were (other than the main team, of course) and how things went down in the past. I kept going though, and the more I read, the more came back and cleared things up.
There are still a lot of things I don’t remember being quite the way they were depicted in this book, but without going back, I’ll just have to assume I have a fuzzy memory. For example, I thought Prophet and Tom had gotten past the most volatile aspects of their relationship, and while I do enjoy their way of settling arguments, it doesn’t seem like it could continue on that way forever, especially with a teenager living with them now. Cillian and Mal are heavily involved in this story as well, and I really wanted to go back and re-read their book as well.
As for this installment of the Prophet and Tommy saga, the blurb pretty much gives you an idea. Prophet’s past comes back to haunt everyone and the lines have been drawn. It’s time for Prophet to take care of things once and for all. He must keep everyone else safe though, and we all know taking orders or sitting things out is not a likely scenario for any of these guys. The banter and camaraderie is still rampant and everything I fell in love with about these guys is still there. This was long overdue and necessary for some closure on this series for these guys to get their solid HFN. I imagine we will get to see more of them in the EE Universe, and it will be nice to see how things progress in that regard.
I have to say that while I loved seeing these guys again, this story was overly jam packed with twists and inconsistencies that made it difficult for me to rate any higher. The numerous twists made an already tricky story even harder to follow, and the other issue made it hard to take things seriously. But I’m super thankful Ms. Jakes has gotten back to giving us these crazy hot alpha guys, and I hope she continues to do so, as she has already earned her spot on my auto read list.
Review written for Love Bytes Reviews.
That said, it has been approximately five years since the previous book, and had I had more notice of when this was actually coming out, I would have liked to have gone back and re-read this series to freshen my memory. I highly recommend that plan of action. As I started this, there were many things that came right back to me, but for every memory awakened, there were twice as many lost. I found it difficult remembering who a lot of the players were (other than the main team, of course) and how things went down in the past. I kept going though, and the more I read, the more came back and cleared things up.
There are still a lot of things I don’t remember being quite the way they were depicted in this book, but without going back, I’ll just have to assume I have a fuzzy memory. For example, I thought Prophet and Tom had gotten past the most volatile aspects of their relationship, and while I do enjoy their way of settling arguments, it doesn’t seem like it could continue on that way forever, especially with a teenager living with them now. Cillian and Mal are heavily involved in this story as well, and I really wanted to go back and re-read their book as well.
As for this installment of the Prophet and Tommy saga, the blurb pretty much gives you an idea. Prophet’s past comes back to haunt everyone and the lines have been drawn. It’s time for Prophet to take care of things once and for all. He must keep everyone else safe though, and we all know taking orders or sitting things out is not a likely scenario for any of these guys. The banter and camaraderie is still rampant and everything I fell in love with about these guys is still there. This was long overdue and necessary for some closure on this series for these guys to get their solid HFN. I imagine we will get to see more of them in the EE Universe, and it will be nice to see how things progress in that regard.
I have to say that while I loved seeing these guys again, this story was overly jam packed with twists and inconsistencies that made it difficult for me to rate any higher. The numerous twists made an already tricky story even harder to follow, and the other issue made it hard to take things seriously. But I’m super thankful Ms. Jakes has gotten back to giving us these crazy hot alpha guys, and I hope she continues to do so, as she has already earned her spot on my auto read list.
Review written for Love Bytes Reviews.
January 23, 2019
Shocker. This book was actually released. I'll be completely honest and admit I'm shocked it was released at all - I'd really given up on it.
So... was it worth the wait??? In short, no. For me, at least.
To be frank, this book is a bit of a mess. There was so. much. going on, and most of it seemed... I don't know... convoluted and meandering, maybe? Not a ton of it made sense; there was always something happening in the "background" that seemed to leave the rest of us behind, but was also integral to the story. I'll admit that I'm not a fan of convenient new revelations/plot lines, the "I knew all along" schtick, characters being introduced (or reintroduced) to suddenly save the day, or whatever else along those same lines. It always feels like the author knows they've written themselves into a corner and these are hail Mary ways out. And for me, that's primarily what this book is.
I have a feeling the author knew generally where this book needed to go - where she wanted to take it - but couldn't quite figure out how to get there. It would explain why this book took 3+ years to write...
I have to say I was most disappointed in Tom, Prophet, and their relationship. Not only did neither of them grow as individuals or progress as a couple, I felt that they and their relationship actually regressed in this book. Their characters and relationship growth are so rich in the previous installments that the lack of progression here really stands out to me. For me, they both read as two-dimensional caricatures of the strong personalities they were before. We weren't given a satisfactory resolution to their relationship, either. One was hinted to, but it was very much left hanging.
Their building relationship with Remy was left hanging, as well, which is disappointing. That aspect of their story had the potential to be incredibly strong, and it was reduced to mere mentions of the kid's name for the majority of the book.
I could be wrong, but it seemed that the author used this book to primarily introduce characters for future books - which was the wrong path to take. This couple and this series deserved better.
So a three year wait for a mediocre book that should have been better. I guess it happens.
I can't say I'll never read this author again. The first 3.5 books in this series were really good, and I enjoyed reading and re-reading them. But I will never start another incomplete series by this author again. Ever. I know all the arguments that authors don't owe readers anything, but I think it's all a bit of BS. The relationship between authors and readers is symbiotic, and neither side should shit on the other. At the very least, authors should have more respect for readers than to repeatedly promise and promote the release of unfinished work, even going so far as to announce completely fictional release dates. But hey, everyone has to make up their own mind about that.
*****
I'm pretty certain at this point that this book will never be released. I've seen some rumors that Ms. Jakes is dissatisfied with her publisher, that she fell too far behind to catch up on the series, that she wrote herself into a corner - whatever. I don't care. It's been, like, 3 years or longer that we've been teased with IIE - the conclusion to the HoHW series, so a pretty important book - and I think we would have gotten it by now if we were getting it at all.
I'm writing this one off. Maybe I'll check back in a few more years to see what excuses have been given by then.
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