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Aspects of Love: Our Maker’s design for friendship, love, marriage and family
We all want, and need, to love and to be loved. We are made in the image of God, who is love. Healthy loving is at the very heart of true human flourishing, but human life is full of love gone wrong – marriages break down, relationships with family members are strained, loneliness is an ever–increasing problem. This book delves into what the Bible has to say on relationships – friendship, love, marriage, sex and family – and how to guard them and keep them
192 pages, Paperback
Published May 27, 2019
11 people are currently reading
42 people want to read
About the author
William J.U. Philip
70 books3 followersWilliam Philip has been senior minister of St. George's-Tron Church in Glasgow, Scotland, since 2004. He was formerly director of ministry at the Proclamation Trust in London and is now chairman of Cornhill Scotland, an organization committed to training pastors for expository preaching. Prior to ordination, he was a doctor specializing in cardiology. He is the author of Why We Pray.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
August 20, 2022
I have stated for years that "life is all about relationships." In the introduction to this book, the author says "deep down we all know that it is not wealth or power or fame but relationships of real love which are indeed the most precious gift human life affords." I concur and add a hearty "Amen" to that statement!
Although this is a rather short book (180 pages), the author packs a lot of good material in between the pages. The first chapter alone is worth reading the book for. Philip sets the stage for the rest of the book by describing the foundation of any relationship - that of friendship. In my opinion he rightly with the subject of friendship and then subsequently delves into the subjects of marriage, family, and children.
In chapter 1, Philip correctly assesses the current world view of relationships:
"Our world is totally confused: our culture has confused the need for intimacy with a need for sexual relationship." p.15
He then goes on to define what real friendship looks like from a biblical perspective. In this first chapter, he rightly shoots down some notions that have wormed their way into the thinking of many Christians today. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from chapter one:
"Friendship is born of a shared love beyond ourselves, beyond our needs. And we all need real friends like that, especially real Christian friends." p. 19
"Do not make the mistake of thinking that if you are married then your marriage alone is enough." (to elaborate, the author identifies the faulty thinking in many marriages in which one spouse makes the other spouse the "savior" of the relationship to the extent that he/she cannot fulfill that role. No one person can completely fulfill every need of the other. God created us for friendships. I believe he is correct in this assessment. A marriage with this type of expectation can & will crumble under that weight.) p.20
"I always tell couples preparing for marriage that they need to be very clear not to confuse their bedroom door with their front door. A healthy, Christian marriage must have a closed bedroom door to keep all others firmly out - no sharing the marriage bed - but an open front door, to invite others warmly in to share their married home-life in generous friendship." p. 23
"It is not the good times but the bad times that show us who our true friends really are." p. 27
"Real friendship gives no sense of making someone feel a sense of obligation and debt to your friendship." p. 29
"Faithful wounds are not inflicted frivolously or foolishly or, without long, hard heart-searching. Otherwise, great damage can be done." p. 31
"Christ-like friendship does mean that our love for our friends will often have to bear many things with them and even bear a lot of pain from them, from those who are or were our friends...Bearing pain is a big part of the cost of real friendship because the people who give us the highest pleasure and happiness in life are also able to inflict on us the greatest pain. Often that means our closest friends and family." p. 32
"Real friendship and love involved a giving of ourselves that makes us vulnerable, vulnerable to hurt." p. 33
"Where there is real friendship and real love, there must be the risk of pain and heartbreak. In this world of fallen humanity, that risk is a virtual certainty." p. 34
The author then follows this foundational chapter on friendship with four chapters on marriage. They are as follows:
The Reason for Marriage
The Road to Marriage
The Relationship of Marriage
The Rupture of Marriage
These chapters are FILLED with biblical principles based on Scripture regarding the institution of marriage. The author writes clearly and to the point. For instance, in the chapter "The Reason for Marriage," I was struck by this direct, yet truthful statement on page 38:
"The New Testament church needed clear instruction about marriage and sex, and so do we - not only because of confusion from the world outside, but also because of corruption within our own hearts."
The last two chapters deal with parenthood, one of which wrestles with questions regarding technology and the lengths Christians should go to have children.
Having read many books on relationships through the years, I would rank this one as one of the better books on the subject and I would highly recommend it. The author writes on these topics never forgetting the single person in the church or the couple who cannot have children and he addresses these situations throughout the book.
However, one of the greatest aspects of this book is the number one reason he gives for friendships, marriage, and parenthood. That reason is to bring glory to God and to serve Jesus Christ through those roles. All other reasons are subservient to these and I wholeheartedly agree. We Christians need to grasp this biblical concept and teach these truths to the next generation.
Although this is a rather short book (180 pages), the author packs a lot of good material in between the pages. The first chapter alone is worth reading the book for. Philip sets the stage for the rest of the book by describing the foundation of any relationship - that of friendship. In my opinion he rightly with the subject of friendship and then subsequently delves into the subjects of marriage, family, and children.
In chapter 1, Philip correctly assesses the current world view of relationships:
"Our world is totally confused: our culture has confused the need for intimacy with a need for sexual relationship." p.15
He then goes on to define what real friendship looks like from a biblical perspective. In this first chapter, he rightly shoots down some notions that have wormed their way into the thinking of many Christians today. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from chapter one:
"Friendship is born of a shared love beyond ourselves, beyond our needs. And we all need real friends like that, especially real Christian friends." p. 19
"Do not make the mistake of thinking that if you are married then your marriage alone is enough." (to elaborate, the author identifies the faulty thinking in many marriages in which one spouse makes the other spouse the "savior" of the relationship to the extent that he/she cannot fulfill that role. No one person can completely fulfill every need of the other. God created us for friendships. I believe he is correct in this assessment. A marriage with this type of expectation can & will crumble under that weight.) p.20
"I always tell couples preparing for marriage that they need to be very clear not to confuse their bedroom door with their front door. A healthy, Christian marriage must have a closed bedroom door to keep all others firmly out - no sharing the marriage bed - but an open front door, to invite others warmly in to share their married home-life in generous friendship." p. 23
"It is not the good times but the bad times that show us who our true friends really are." p. 27
"Real friendship gives no sense of making someone feel a sense of obligation and debt to your friendship." p. 29
"Faithful wounds are not inflicted frivolously or foolishly or, without long, hard heart-searching. Otherwise, great damage can be done." p. 31
"Christ-like friendship does mean that our love for our friends will often have to bear many things with them and even bear a lot of pain from them, from those who are or were our friends...Bearing pain is a big part of the cost of real friendship because the people who give us the highest pleasure and happiness in life are also able to inflict on us the greatest pain. Often that means our closest friends and family." p. 32
"Real friendship and love involved a giving of ourselves that makes us vulnerable, vulnerable to hurt." p. 33
"Where there is real friendship and real love, there must be the risk of pain and heartbreak. In this world of fallen humanity, that risk is a virtual certainty." p. 34
The author then follows this foundational chapter on friendship with four chapters on marriage. They are as follows:
The Reason for Marriage
The Road to Marriage
The Relationship of Marriage
The Rupture of Marriage
These chapters are FILLED with biblical principles based on Scripture regarding the institution of marriage. The author writes clearly and to the point. For instance, in the chapter "The Reason for Marriage," I was struck by this direct, yet truthful statement on page 38:
"The New Testament church needed clear instruction about marriage and sex, and so do we - not only because of confusion from the world outside, but also because of corruption within our own hearts."
The last two chapters deal with parenthood, one of which wrestles with questions regarding technology and the lengths Christians should go to have children.
Having read many books on relationships through the years, I would rank this one as one of the better books on the subject and I would highly recommend it. The author writes on these topics never forgetting the single person in the church or the couple who cannot have children and he addresses these situations throughout the book.
However, one of the greatest aspects of this book is the number one reason he gives for friendships, marriage, and parenthood. That reason is to bring glory to God and to serve Jesus Christ through those roles. All other reasons are subservient to these and I wholeheartedly agree. We Christians need to grasp this biblical concept and teach these truths to the next generation.
July 15, 2021
Although a short book, the author discusses the different relationships we have in light of God's word and how we should see and treat these relationships. He doesn't tip toe around biblical truths to make the reader comfortable especially with issues which can be sensitive and difficult to discuss in today's society. A challenging and insightful read I would definitely recommend :)
February 14, 2022
Encouragement for the single, the married, the parent and non-parent alike. Full of biblical insight into the Christian worldview of healthy relationships, particularly friendship, marriage, and parenting. Also thoughtful explanations on how the Christian can think through ethical issues pertaining to these categories. This book is just $3 on the Truth for Life website right now. Best $3 I’ve spent in a long time!!!
March 14, 2023
The book gets a 5-8-8 or a 3.5, which interesting as it is a little different from when I first read this book back in 2nd year.
I picked this up the past weekend to look at a particular aspect which I remember it dealt with and ended up scanning through it all again. I like this book, I see it as a practical outworking of CS Lewis’ 4 loves book. I think this is a justified opinion solely based on the amount of quotation of Lewis throughout.
The main point that I think he is trying to establish with this book is that marriage and relationship should be based upon and develop from a deep friendship ‘phileo’ love. Philips lays down this principal in chapter one called the foundation for friendship: ‘friendship is born of a shared love beyond ourselves, beyond our needs’ and Philips describes this friendship as ‘… a friendship born out of this shared love ( love for Christ ), this shared passion, this shared zeal, will be the highest quality of friendship we are capable of.
I agree with this analysis, although i think it may have its limitations. Is This approach always logistically possible?( especially in the age of gossip that we live in) Is it wise going about perusing deep and meaningful friendships if you have no Intentions of anything further…? Although the overarching principal is completely justified It just all seems a little bit idealistic.
I tend to disagree with his chapter 5 the rupture of marriage, again it seems quite a simplistic view of divorce. And also some of his eschatology seems interesting.
But I really like some of what he says about parents( very Presby ) and also has some very intriguing thoughts on what we are to do in light of not being able to have children.
I picked this up the past weekend to look at a particular aspect which I remember it dealt with and ended up scanning through it all again. I like this book, I see it as a practical outworking of CS Lewis’ 4 loves book. I think this is a justified opinion solely based on the amount of quotation of Lewis throughout.
The main point that I think he is trying to establish with this book is that marriage and relationship should be based upon and develop from a deep friendship ‘phileo’ love. Philips lays down this principal in chapter one called the foundation for friendship: ‘friendship is born of a shared love beyond ourselves, beyond our needs’ and Philips describes this friendship as ‘… a friendship born out of this shared love ( love for Christ ), this shared passion, this shared zeal, will be the highest quality of friendship we are capable of.
I agree with this analysis, although i think it may have its limitations. Is This approach always logistically possible?( especially in the age of gossip that we live in) Is it wise going about perusing deep and meaningful friendships if you have no Intentions of anything further…? Although the overarching principal is completely justified It just all seems a little bit idealistic.
I tend to disagree with his chapter 5 the rupture of marriage, again it seems quite a simplistic view of divorce. And also some of his eschatology seems interesting.
But I really like some of what he says about parents( very Presby ) and also has some very intriguing thoughts on what we are to do in light of not being able to have children.
June 23, 2021
Simply astounded at how much solid biblical practical teaching is condensed in this concise book. Highly recommended.
July 16, 2024
Thought provoking and reflective. An encouraging read to help you think deeper into what love looks like in friendships, relationships and parenthood.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews