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Alsjeblieft, laat me gaan
De Britse Caitlin Spencer werd vanaf haar veertiende verkracht door honderden mannen. Keer op keer werd ze verhandeld en doorgegeven aan seksbendes. Het grootste deel van deze vrouwenhandelaren bestond uit Pakistaanse mannen. Ze brachten Caitlin naar hun woningen en naar ranzige hotelkamers. Daar werd het gedrogeerde meisje systematisch en afschuwelijk verkracht. Filmpjes daarvan circuleren nog steeds op internet.
Condooms werden nooit gebruikt. Caitlin Spencer hield aan de verkrachtingen elf zwangerschappen over. Zeven eindigden met abortus, twee met een miskraam. Twee meisjes zijn levend ter wereld gekomen.
Caitlins geschiedenis verbijstert. Niet alleen vanwege de mate waarin en de walgelijkheid waarmee ze werd misbruikt, maar ook vanwege het feit dat de autoriteiten stelselmatig weigerden op te treden. De meeste daders van deze moderne slavernij lopen nog steeds vrij rond.
Caitlin zegt: 'Ik ben bang. Maar zij mogen niet winnen. Ik zal er alles aan doen om dit onderwerp uit de taboesfeer te halen.' Ze schrijft openlijk over hoe ze jarenlang heeft geleden. Ook laat ze zien hoe hulpinstanties wegkijken voor de uitwassen in onze maatschappij. Simpelweg omdat men vreest voor racist te worden uitgemaakt.
Door zich zo moedig en kwetsbaar uit te spreken koestert Caitlin de hoop te laten zien hoe wijdverbreid de vrouwenhandel is en hoe, terwijl de autoriteiten consequent wegkijken, gewetenloze criminelen keer op voortdurend de dans ontspringen.
Caitlin Spencers boek maakte een lawine aan reacties los. In haar stad alleen al meldden zich 278 slachtoffers. Sommige meisjes waren nog geen dertien jaar. Slechts achttien verdachten moeten zich verantwoorden voor de rechter. Er zijn veel meer slachtoffers. En ook daders. Het probleem van de kindslaven wordt door de overheid zwaar onderschat. Er zijn veel meer slachtoffers.
Condooms werden nooit gebruikt. Caitlin Spencer hield aan de verkrachtingen elf zwangerschappen over. Zeven eindigden met abortus, twee met een miskraam. Twee meisjes zijn levend ter wereld gekomen.
Caitlins geschiedenis verbijstert. Niet alleen vanwege de mate waarin en de walgelijkheid waarmee ze werd misbruikt, maar ook vanwege het feit dat de autoriteiten stelselmatig weigerden op te treden. De meeste daders van deze moderne slavernij lopen nog steeds vrij rond.
Caitlin zegt: 'Ik ben bang. Maar zij mogen niet winnen. Ik zal er alles aan doen om dit onderwerp uit de taboesfeer te halen.' Ze schrijft openlijk over hoe ze jarenlang heeft geleden. Ook laat ze zien hoe hulpinstanties wegkijken voor de uitwassen in onze maatschappij. Simpelweg omdat men vreest voor racist te worden uitgemaakt.
Door zich zo moedig en kwetsbaar uit te spreken koestert Caitlin de hoop te laten zien hoe wijdverbreid de vrouwenhandel is en hoe, terwijl de autoriteiten consequent wegkijken, gewetenloze criminelen keer op voortdurend de dans ontspringen.
Caitlin Spencers boek maakte een lawine aan reacties los. In haar stad alleen al meldden zich 278 slachtoffers. Sommige meisjes waren nog geen dertien jaar. Slechts achttien verdachten moeten zich verantwoorden voor de rechter. Er zijn veel meer slachtoffers. En ook daders. Het probleem van de kindslaven wordt door de overheid zwaar onderschat. Er zijn veel meer slachtoffers.
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2017
179 people are currently reading
1264 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 180 reviews
October 10, 2022
I’m so saddened by Caitlin’s story. The trauma she endured was horrible, but still she manages to write about it.
March 25, 2019
Appalling memoir about a young girl passed from one gang of thugs in Rotherham to be abused to the other with no support from anyone. People might ask why she didn't try to 'get out of' the situation, when actually she was trapped and had no choice. The people abusing her would find her anywhere - she had nowhere to hide.
Having just watched the harrowing drama 'Three Girls' on Netflix, I was more and more devastated for Caitlin and felt completely helpless, reading of her being abused over and over again.
Such a brave person to relive this horrendous part of her life.
Having just watched the harrowing drama 'Three Girls' on Netflix, I was more and more devastated for Caitlin and felt completely helpless, reading of her being abused over and over again.
Such a brave person to relive this horrendous part of her life.
February 9, 2022
You think you’re well informed about the real life horrors of sex trafficking, but you’re not. Not until you read this. I’ve never had more trouble getting through someone’s story as I did this one. The content is so repulsive I had tears in my eyes for half the book. She is a wonderful writer and a remarkable human being and I’m so glad I stomached it to the end. This is a very, very important story, and should not be ignored because it’s not pretty. I can’t even describe it. I hope Caitlin has found some peace.
November 1, 2017
This is such a hard read. What this poor girl has been through is just abhorrent. It appears that she does not leave anything out as she takes the reader on a journey through her life thus far. By getting it on the page and out there she is hoping that it will bring her some freedom from the past. I hope it does, I really do. She deserves good things for her and her children.
I will not go into any of the horrors that ‘Caitlin’ went through in this review suffice to say it was extreme and disturbing. This book is not only a release for Caitlin but a warning and a lesson to the authorities and parents of daughters. There are very bad people out there doing indescribable things to underage vulnerable girls. These men need to be brought to justice. The law needs to come down on them. They should not be above the law as they clearly were and probably still are. I am getting angry again just thinking about it.
Caitlin – you are an amazing and brave person. I wish you all the very best for the future.
I will not go into any of the horrors that ‘Caitlin’ went through in this review suffice to say it was extreme and disturbing. This book is not only a release for Caitlin but a warning and a lesson to the authorities and parents of daughters. There are very bad people out there doing indescribable things to underage vulnerable girls. These men need to be brought to justice. The law needs to come down on them. They should not be above the law as they clearly were and probably still are. I am getting angry again just thinking about it.
Caitlin – you are an amazing and brave person. I wish you all the very best for the future.
August 6, 2019
Frankly this is quite a disturbing book because it exposes the hypocrisy in the society and failure of politicians and system at large to protect girls. The book is heart wrenching account of how an innocent 14 year girl was forced into prostitution. Her helplessness in escaping the system forces the reader to reevaluate the society's attitude towards trafficking.
October 18, 2017
A shattering read!
Such a sad story. This poor woman blames herself for the foulness of the filthy beasts that abused her so terribly. And it seems even worse that they were pious "Muslims". Going directly from the mosque to rape under age girls. How on earth do they justify their behaviour????
Such a sad story. This poor woman blames herself for the foulness of the filthy beasts that abused her so terribly. And it seems even worse that they were pious "Muslims". Going directly from the mosque to rape under age girls. How on earth do they justify their behaviour????
September 1, 2017
What a story ! I finished this book in one sitting , no chance of anything distracting me enough to be able to put it down . It's heart breaking ! It's emotionally overwhelming . It's gut wrenching !
Writing a review about a book that tells someone's real life story is different to writing a review about a fictional story . Before starting this review I felt like "Is anyone ever in the position to review this book?"
It's more than just a book ! It's the story of such a strong incredibly human being that shared the possibly darkest possible way of life with the reading world !
Writing a review about a book that tells someone's real life story is different to writing a review about a fictional story . Before starting this review I felt like "Is anyone ever in the position to review this book?"
It's more than just a book ! It's the story of such a strong incredibly human being that shared the possibly darkest possible way of life with the reading world !
September 9, 2017
A difficult read, but a needed one.
October 26, 2017
It took me 5-6 hours to read this book. It is gripping and it is horrifying. It represents the sad and messed up state Great Britain is currently in. To be politically correct the government is willing to allow children to be systematically raped and abused by Middle Eastern - not Asian, men. It is happening in multiple cities as I am typing this. I am not saying that no one else is doing this, of course I am not, and they are just as bad. Look at how open we are to discuss the Jimmy Savil’s and white British pedos, but anyone from that heritage is off limits. It’s not right. It is giving these criminals the golden ticket, and right now they are acting like they are untouchable. They would come right to her parents door to collect her and were not bothered! No one wants to do anything about it because it’s considered racist. Read what they were saying to her while they raped her - that is actually racist.
I am expecting people to get offended over my review and this book and not what is happening. That is part of the problem and helps this sickness to keep going on. What is happening is disgusting, and NO one should be treated like this by ANYONE. This girl has been through so much because no one wanted to help her. What does that say about us as a society? People saw things. It is impossible that they did not. One of the men liked to rape her in a lay-by in front of people. People saw all these underaged girls being taken in and out of all these flats, houses, hotels, and Tesco! People are afraid to say anything because kids getting trafficked is better than being called a racist, and that has to change. If it doesn’t this will keep going on. She lost her childhood, the chance to be a normal teen, the chance to have a normal/consensual relationship with someone her own age, and her life. Her life will never be the same.
Caitlin, on page 115 you stated that the reader would be thinking, how could she allow this to happen? Why did you allow so many? I can only speak for myself - I never thought that. You were a child. Your parents failed you, the police, social services, doctors, and the criminal justice system failed you. I hope someday you can heal from this. I know you never be the same but someday I hope you can find peace. I would never judge you, I judge these monsters that should be executed for raping little girls. There is no cure for this mentality. Thank you for having the courage to share your story.
I am expecting people to get offended over my review and this book and not what is happening. That is part of the problem and helps this sickness to keep going on. What is happening is disgusting, and NO one should be treated like this by ANYONE. This girl has been through so much because no one wanted to help her. What does that say about us as a society? People saw things. It is impossible that they did not. One of the men liked to rape her in a lay-by in front of people. People saw all these underaged girls being taken in and out of all these flats, houses, hotels, and Tesco! People are afraid to say anything because kids getting trafficked is better than being called a racist, and that has to change. If it doesn’t this will keep going on. She lost her childhood, the chance to be a normal teen, the chance to have a normal/consensual relationship with someone her own age, and her life. Her life will never be the same.
Caitlin, on page 115 you stated that the reader would be thinking, how could she allow this to happen? Why did you allow so many? I can only speak for myself - I never thought that. You were a child. Your parents failed you, the police, social services, doctors, and the criminal justice system failed you. I hope someday you can heal from this. I know you never be the same but someday I hope you can find peace. I would never judge you, I judge these monsters that should be executed for raping little girls. There is no cure for this mentality. Thank you for having the courage to share your story.
October 16, 2017
I have just finished reading Caitlin's book.
Caitlin is an incredibly brave, strong young woman who has found the strength to share her horrific story of her life at the hands of traffickers. Over 15 years she was used, abused, sold and passed around various gangs of paedophiles and was deeply let down by everyone that could of helped her, even her own family, even after reaching out for help.
The love she has for her own daughters led to her finally seeking help, and although not living a carefree life she would wish and is fighting her demons everyday she is trying her hardest to keep her own children safe and provide them a safe, loving home that she never had.
My heart truly broke reading Caitlin's book and I felt proud that a woman who is so obviously scarred from her abuse is able is stand up and tell the world what is really going on,, how the authorities are turning a blind eye, and how nothing is really changing.
I am certain that not one, but many young women (and men) are going to read your story Caitlin and realize that it isn't their fault, and will maybe have the strength to come forward and seek help.
I wish you all the love and happiness for you and your precious daughters future. xx
Caitlin is an incredibly brave, strong young woman who has found the strength to share her horrific story of her life at the hands of traffickers. Over 15 years she was used, abused, sold and passed around various gangs of paedophiles and was deeply let down by everyone that could of helped her, even her own family, even after reaching out for help.
The love she has for her own daughters led to her finally seeking help, and although not living a carefree life she would wish and is fighting her demons everyday she is trying her hardest to keep her own children safe and provide them a safe, loving home that she never had.
My heart truly broke reading Caitlin's book and I felt proud that a woman who is so obviously scarred from her abuse is able is stand up and tell the world what is really going on,, how the authorities are turning a blind eye, and how nothing is really changing.
I am certain that not one, but many young women (and men) are going to read your story Caitlin and realize that it isn't their fault, and will maybe have the strength to come forward and seek help.
I wish you all the love and happiness for you and your precious daughters future. xx
September 25, 2017
This was horrific but compelling reading about the grooming and sex trafficking of a young vulnerable woman. She was so let down by so many on her journey to get away from the grooming gangs and despite the many obvious signs, she wasn't heard or believed. I'm delighted that she is now safe and has found her voice now. This beautifully written book should be compulsory reading for everyone. I hope that the telling of her story will help her; I know it will help many others. Thank you for having the courage to share your important story
June 9, 2023
4.5 ⭐️ I will start by saying this is by far one of the most disturbing books I have ever come upon . After reading it If it wasn’t a true story, I don’t know that I could find this the least bit believable and not so much Caitlin’s story as much as her actual family. It’s truly hard to fathom that people like this live amongst us never mind parents like this. It’s also really hard for me to say how much I enjoyed this book. It is an absolutely horrific subject, but it was so well told and I say told instead of written, because I felt like someone was sitting in a room next to me, telling me their story. This didn’t really come with any trigger warnings so beware of child abuse in every manner .
June 11, 2023
Disturbing but so interesting!!
Read
March 28, 2018This is one of those books I don't feel at all comfortable 'rating' due to the subject matter. So I will not be giving it a star rating but instead will put down a few thoughts.
The overall feeling that I am left with after finishing this is how utterly and terribly the author was let down by all of the adults in her life. I am not casting any blame or anything like that but I cannot fathom how her own parents could watch their child, their own flesh and blood and suspect that something was not quite right but instead leave her to 'get it out of her system' and then all but kick her out of the house in an 'out of sight, out of mind' kind of way. How utterly distressing it must have been for her.
The book also deals with an important subject matter that is not often talked about in as much detail as present here. I think it's important to shed light on the fact that this is a prevalent problem and that it might not be happening in the same way that people might tend to think. It's all about the mind control and the illusion of freedom, which is desperately sad because whenever this part is mentioned to people, the first response is generally, "Well, they weren't holding you captive so you must have had a choice'. To those people, all I have to say is that I hope you are never in a situation where other people would say those words back to you and you realise how utterly shocking that kind of mindset is.
This is definitely not an easy subject matter to read about but I believe it's an important one.
The overall feeling that I am left with after finishing this is how utterly and terribly the author was let down by all of the adults in her life. I am not casting any blame or anything like that but I cannot fathom how her own parents could watch their child, their own flesh and blood and suspect that something was not quite right but instead leave her to 'get it out of her system' and then all but kick her out of the house in an 'out of sight, out of mind' kind of way. How utterly distressing it must have been for her.
The book also deals with an important subject matter that is not often talked about in as much detail as present here. I think it's important to shed light on the fact that this is a prevalent problem and that it might not be happening in the same way that people might tend to think. It's all about the mind control and the illusion of freedom, which is desperately sad because whenever this part is mentioned to people, the first response is generally, "Well, they weren't holding you captive so you must have had a choice'. To those people, all I have to say is that I hope you are never in a situation where other people would say those words back to you and you realise how utterly shocking that kind of mindset is.
This is definitely not an easy subject matter to read about but I believe it's an important one.
August 26, 2017
Such a heartbreaking read. I read it in two sittings. It's hard to put down. At times I cried and cried for this poor lost child. It left me questioning where were the parents? What were they thinking? This girl deserves such praise for her bravery and I pray that at last she finds some peace.
December 28, 2020
Such a hard read. However, eye opening and horrific. A memoir that stays with you to the horrors that happens within society. To get an insight into someone’s experience and see the circles they spin round to try and get answers and help/ support.
September 5, 2017
people need to know this goes on, recent tv program's have also highlighted the case but I think people think it's not common, when books like this show it increasingly is.
April 3, 2023
A very disturbing and eye-opening book, can’t believe its a true story, so horrible and sad to read but wow
May 24, 2022
listened to the audio book. The performance of the narrator in this was absolutely amazing. The best performance on an audio book I have heard. I found myself becoming concerned for the mental health of the narrator throughout due to the nature of the content. This poor woman's story is nothing short of tragic, and although it was excruciatingly difficult content to hear, I found myself wanting to pay the author and narrator the respect of listening to her 'voice', her story. She was finally being heard and believed after so much terrible abuse !! I felt it was the least I could do given her tremendous bravery in telling it. Tragic story, amazing book, incredibly narrated. 5 stars all the way.
September 10, 2017
Not an easy read, but a compelling one.
Caitlin' s honesty and wish to help others is clear throughout the telling of her life to date.
Together with Linda Watson -Brown here Caitlin has a voice which I pray many will be willing to not only listen to but hear and act upon.
I am humbled, and am mindful that but for the grace of God this could be my life......
Caitlin' s honesty and wish to help others is clear throughout the telling of her life to date.
Together with Linda Watson -Brown here Caitlin has a voice which I pray many will be willing to not only listen to but hear and act upon.
I am humbled, and am mindful that but for the grace of God this could be my life......
May 1, 2018
Really shocking stuff. Well done for telling your story. I wish you peace.
August 5, 2022
Denne boken har en viktig historie, og det er bra at denne tematikken blir belyst. Dessverre skorter det på formidlingsevnen.
Det kan virke som historien er fortalt og nedskrevet uten kritiske spørsmål eller rom for utdypelse. Opplever at mye skurrer og at leserne har mange ubesvarte spørsmål i etterkant.
Har aldri lest en bok med så mange gjentagelser. Ordene «forferdelig», «fæl», «hore» og «ludder» går spesielt igjen. Kontrastfylt å lese en ordentlig godt skrevet bok etter å ha lest denne.
Det kan virke som historien er fortalt og nedskrevet uten kritiske spørsmål eller rom for utdypelse. Opplever at mye skurrer og at leserne har mange ubesvarte spørsmål i etterkant.
Har aldri lest en bok med så mange gjentagelser. Ordene «forferdelig», «fæl», «hore» og «ludder» går spesielt igjen. Kontrastfylt å lese en ordentlig godt skrevet bok etter å ha lest denne.
March 31, 2023
Mixed feelings on this. I think the author does a good job illustrating the complicated and nuanced reality of the exploitation of women and girls, and how many systems (family, police, medical) can fail people and push them further into vulnerability. I also listened to the audiobook and the narrator did a great job.
I do feel like it was a little repetitive and, at times, unnecessarily detailed on very disturbing material. I understand needing to show the reality of the trauma, but at times felt more like trauma-dumping than a reflection and recount of the overall story. I also felt really uncomfortable with the author's obvious and persistent racial bias - a bigger conversation and analysis than I can put in a review.
I do feel like it was a little repetitive and, at times, unnecessarily detailed on very disturbing material. I understand needing to show the reality of the trauma, but at times felt more like trauma-dumping than a reflection and recount of the overall story. I also felt really uncomfortable with the author's obvious and persistent racial bias - a bigger conversation and analysis than I can put in a review.
July 24, 2022
What a brave and powerful book to write and stories to share. This type of insight and vulnerability are so powerful for perspective and to understand something we may not be aware of and is happening around us. Hope this awareness will help us spot and do something when this is happening and that more action will be taken towards stopping it and protecting victims.
April 3, 2020
Heel triestig verhaal.. Wel mooi geschreven!
Hoe kan een ouder zijn kind zo in de steek laten?
Hoe kan een ouder zijn kind zo in de steek laten?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 12, 2021
Wow, what a life for a little girl. Written very well with just the right amount of detail to understand the horrors but not be completely impossible to listen to. Seems wrong to say I enjoyed listening to this on Borrowbox but it kept me gripped and my mind did not wander. I’ll never understand how people can be so horrible!!! So glad Caitlin found the strength she needed.
July 15, 2021
It's hard giving a öow rare on a biography, but this wasn't for me.
November 14, 2021
Such a sad journey in life. Just hope your find happiness in the future.
July 27, 2022
Tough read and at time repetitive but an eye opening book nonetheless.
April 16, 2023
Such a chilling book, found it difficult to read at points.. highly recommend
Displaying 1 - 30 of 180 reviews