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Rat Park
Dominic can’t imagine what being loved should feel like. Even meeting Flor Romero—spitfire, stubborn, wonderful Flor—might not be enough to convince him that he can be. They might be sleeping together, but that doesn’t mean Dominic is good enough to keep someone like him. Dominic has hidden in the haze of drugs too long. Done too many things he’s not proud of. Even though he’s crawled his way to recovery, even though the Romero family have taken him in as one of their own, he’s just not sure if he can ever be worth their love. Despite everything life has thrown Dominic, it hasn’t prepared him for Flor, who might just be ready to fight tooth and nail for a place in Dominic’s life—and his heart. The question is, will Dominic’s past keep him from his future?
377 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 28, 2019
64 people are currently reading
1332 people want to read
About the author
Marina Vivancos
28 books938 followersWhen Marina was a child she couldn’t sleep. Night after dissolving night she just couldn’t sleep. Nothing much worked – until she started making up stories in her head. Suddenly, the transition into unconsciousness was a smooth dive into calm waters.
Marina is currently in a period of sleepless upheaval, and she hopes writing down the stories in her head will cast the same spell it did years ago.
You can find her being malhumorada on Twitter.
Marina is currently in a period of sleepless upheaval, and she hopes writing down the stories in her head will cast the same spell it did years ago.
You can find her being malhumorada on Twitter.
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May 4, 2022
“It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, Dominic. You’re here now,” Flor said quietly.
Dominic twitched in his arms. “Doesn’t matter to you, maybe,” he replied.
“You’re right. It doesn’t matter to me.”
Rat Park is, essentially, a love story. But that’s only in the middle of it. Around it, the novel centers around Dominic, who had a rough childhood full of drugs and alcohol, a mother who didn’t care for him enough, and a new family that took him in when he thought there would no longer be any hope for him.
Rat Park is emotionally character driven, and it’s Dominic’s story. When he was a kid, Dominic turned to drugs for the first time. Growing up with a mother who didn’t show him the love he deserved, he didn’t care about school and hung out with “the wrong kids.” He landed in juvie at 17 due to being a minor, and then later found himself in jail after more incidents. When he’s starting to lose hope, he meets Catalina Romero, an officer who also volunteers at a homeless shelter. Catalina brings Dominic into her home and her family, where Dominic not only is welcomed and loved, but he also meets Flor (short for Florian) Romero, Catalina’s son, who he befriends at first and later finds himself attracted to him. The story follows him as he makes his way through the new opportunity life has given him and how he’s still struggling to move through demons still haunting him.
The prison system was all about trying to treat addiction with punishment, so they didn’t give him anything to help him through. They just tied him down to the bed when he got too desperate and monitored him as he went on his journey through hell.
In short, the message about Rat Park is about not losing hope.
A big key point is the psychological impact drugs and alcohol make on people. I found myself learning about the rat park drug studies from the 1970s, which were experiments done by American psychologist, Dr Bruce Alexander. I didn’t know about this whatsoever, so it was interesting to learn about a little.
But, most importantly, I found myself rooting for Dominic.
Being in Dominic’s head and seeing how much insecurity and guilt he put in himself for the influence he became a part of was heartbreaking. He was full of self-doubt, agony, guilt, absence, loss, and imposter syndrome. There was no way I wasn’t rooting for Dominic. I knew the time would come, and while it did, Rat Park doesn’t exactly have an “ending” for Dominic’s past. Reading about his addiction shows not only how substance abuse isn’t something that is easily manageable and cured, but it also takes time, patience, courage, and acceptance. We see how much Dominic struggles with himself and the people he loves. He feels guilty and insecure—feels like he doesn’t deserve the love he gets because of what he’s done (stolen, pushed people away, lied), and it’s entirely realistically portrayed. Dominic’s journey started at 7 and ended in his 30s, but we know it doesn’t end there. There’s definitely a happy ever after in the end, but as the reader, and as knowing how much he’s struggled, we know there’s more to what is told and offered.
The entire plot revolves around Dominic, from when he was a kid up to his 30s. Vivancos manages to put Dominic’s entire life story in less than 250 pages. What surprised me the most is how much she described about him. I noticed that I knew Dominic in 50 pages more than I have known some characters in 300+ page novels, so that should say enough about this authors ability to craft her characters personalities and characteristics. Since it is character driven, we follow Dominic as he makes his way through life, and it’s not an easy one.
That was what the high gave Dominic. An escape from the cruel anxiety of being. He didn’t know how he could tolerate living his whole life aware and present. To have to make decisions and live with them. How did people live with that pain without becoming so exhausted they wanted to just give up?
Angst aside, the romance between Dominic and Flor is cute. They meet when Flor is 16 and Dominic is 25. What starts off as a friendship later turns into a sexual and romantic relationship. While the book is told entirely through Dom’s point of view, there are hints in between Flor’s descriptions and actions that he may have a crush on Dominic before they get together. However, when Flor is a minor, nothing between them happens, even if Flor may or may not have a crush on Dominic. Their friendship is platonic, and they spend so much time together that the feelings they grow for each other start to become believable. Some may be uncomfortable because of the 9 year age difference and how Flor was 18 when he and Dominic slept together for the first time but…I felt it to be intimate. It felt real and sad at the same time. Dom felt like he didn’t deserve not only Flor but love in general.
And, you know, I’m not a fan of miscommunication whatsoever, but sometimes, as much as it hurts to say, I understand why miscommunication occurs.
“You don’t have to know the results yet, Dominic. If you only did things you knew the results of, you wouldn’t do much of anything. So let’s try. Let’s challenge those thoughts. We don’t have to excuse our past, but we can still seek forgiveness from ourselves.”
Dominic didn’t have a childhood. He didn’t get educated as kids usually are. He got addicted at a young age that it became part of his body. While his mom never abused him, she still didn’t dedicate the time a mother should give her child. He struggles with trusting too easily and giving easily, but doesn’t know it. His character is easy to analyze and interpret due to the actions we see him take and give. While he was never an asshole of any kind, his past is something he carries on his shoulders to the point where he lets it control him sometimes.
They say actions speak louder than words, and that’s exactly what applies to Dominic.
He tries communicating with Flor by actions because, in all honesty, he’s bad with words. Flor is stubborn like his mother, and while he uses words, Dominic would use his body language. It wasn’t something that he and Flor could easily get used to, but they managed through as time went by.
Because of this, I didn’t find myself upset at the miscommunication the two had. It was understandable. It wasn’t the kind where two individuals simply don’t talk to each other because they don’t want to, but because they didn’t know how to and couldn’t. These relationships can be seen as complex. They require time, and as the reader, one can only hope time will truly tell.
I loved the relationship between Dominic and Flor. When they were first friends, Dom was adjusting to the new life he was getting and Flor was finishing high school soon. The times they baked together were always my favorite, but they also generally spent so much time together that one can even question how they didn’t catch feelings for each other if that were the case. This is my fourth read by this author, and I can confirm Vivancos nails the friends to lovers trope by a long shot. It’s easy to see the feelings and emotions the two share and the tension that slowly builds up between them because of the time they spend together.
“Maybe you will. I don’t know the future. Personally? I don’t think that’s gonna happen, Dominic. And that’s not just blind faith. I know the things that tipped your addiction over the edge in the past and I think—I hope, I know—that they aren’t there anymore. And if it happens? We’ll tackle it together. Anything can happen, to you or to me. I just know…I just know that nothing could be worse than not being with you. I want you in my life.”
The found family trope is big here. Dominic finds new love with the Romeros. He’s treated like a son, accepted, embraced, and welcomed. He helps Catalina and Esteban, and learns from Flor. The Romero’s, especially Catalina, are what everyone deserves to have. They are people I have hope in that will make good change in this world. They’re optimistic and see good in people when others don’t. they’re the saving grace of many individuals who feel like their only choice left is to give up but they show them how much there is still left for them to live.
I can’t relate to Dominic in any way, and I wish nobody could, but I’m proud of how far he and individuals like him have come. You get to the point in life where you think you’re not worthy of experiencing what others are and it starts eating you alive. Dominic had a new chance of a new life, he took it, and sadly he fell back to the dark hole from his past, but the people who welcomed him didn’t give up on him, and they took him back. I wish everyone had those opportunities.
February 8, 2019
While not super-angsty, I still wouldn't describe this addiction story as an easy read.
We first met Dominic at an early age, and seeing the level of maternal neglect and how his young life took one wrong turn after another, Lord, yeah, not exactly uplifting.
Yet, ironically, it was a byproduct of landing in prison for drug trafficking that eventually saved Dominic's life, finally turning it around for the better.
I loved Kat, Esteban, and Flor, a local family who saw something "more" in Dominic, took him under their loving, caring wings, and not only helped him learn to battle his drug addiction, but actually grow into the person he should have always been, had he been born into different, less impossible circumstances.
There were tons of touching parts of this book, but I do have to admit that, at 377 (reported) pages, the story "felt" long and kind of dragged towards the middle, so a bit of editing may have helped in that respect.
But I wouldn't have cut a single word while Flor was on the scene. He was a complete spitfire, working his way deeply into Dominic's life and heart, which I adored beyond belief. He also made me laugh a lot.
Flor made his attraction known pretty early on, but other than being together once when Flor was 18, just before going off to college, the MC's weren't together for a few years after that.
They were with other people during that time, although not seriously, which might be a deal breaker for some readers, but wasn't much of an issue for me.
The on-page steam was there (and hot), but not oppressively so, then when they finally decided to give their relationship a go, there were tons of genuine feels.
Upon arriving at the last few years of Flor's medical school courses, Jesus, the author must've slipped into her Nike cross-fits, because I'm telling you, the pacing of the story felt like an all-out RUN for the finish line.
One constant niggle that I had throughout the story was the fact that the book flat-out refused to divulge any location details as to where the story was taking place. Even that it was for sure in the USA, let alone any specific CITY. That was annoying.
Another more slight niggle was that, although it 'seemed' that the story probably (?) took place in America, there were very non-US words, phrasing choices, and spellings littered about. Knowing the story's location may have helped me better reconcile those.
I'd rate this touching, somewhat long-feeling story at around 3.75 stars and recommend it to those looking for something deeper than a cotton candy, filler read.
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February 14, 2019
I've talked before about my day job which by all accounts should've kept me far,
far
away from this book, but I wanted to try this author so despite the fact that I average a Dominic a week I hit the request button. The job can be a grind but sometimes I get one that I really feel like I helped, that I believe will turn it around and that makes it worthwhile.
The problem with books that deal with this topic and population is so many of them get it wrong. They make it about the addiction or the mental illness or the anger or their trust issues or the isolation and loneliness or the negative self-image or the past or the shitshow of a family when in reality it's an amalgamation of some or all of it with things thrown in that are unique to each person. It's a big ask for an author to be that thorough which is why I usually avoid books of this nature.
The commonality amongst the people I see is wanting, no craving, a connection with someone else and those are the ties that bind us all together and something Vivancos strove to stress which resonated with me.
Some are honest about it, some bluster and posture and even lie about it but save a few, they all want it, but how to attain it is the question. The "normal" conversation in this book is one I have frequently and the problem with "normal" is twofold: (a) what is normal and (b) how can one sustain "normal" when all one's ever known is dysfunction? Shitty childhood, shitty parent(s), shitty coping skills, mostly shitty friends that doubles down on itself with abuse, addiction, dropping out of school and maybe a jail stint or two thereby making the future look bleak. When you don't know a thing it's hard to envision it and even harder to strive for it without a little help.
That is the crux of Rat Park and what Vivancos illustrated so deftly: Dominic's inner turmoil and it's constancy. She got that so right. Every single day he believes the rug will be pulled from under him and everything will turn to shit again. Because that's what he believes he deserves. But also, that's all he's ever known and there is safety in that. Drugs take the edge off and make everything a pink fluffy cloud of easy for a little while. Plus, he knows how to be an addict. He knows how to live that life.
Living outside of that, being happy, being loved, being sober, being wanted are all foreign to him. He can't trust that it's anything more than a mirage, fleeting. It's no wonder he's afraid to reach for it because what if he gets used to it and it all goes away? Or worse, what if he fucks it up? Which makes some days harder to resist the itch, some easier, some days he wins the battle and some days he loses, but that doesn't make him a loser. It makes him human.
This internal uphill battle of his requires oodles of encouragement, acceptance and support which he gets from the Romeros. The Romeros take him in, make him part of their family which taps into one of my favorite themes: making a family of one's own choosing.
Flor is only 16 when they meet. It wasn't love at first sight for Dominic but I think it was for Flor. Time passes, as it's wont to do. Flor grows up. They crash into each other. Dominic has a setback. The Romeros are steadfast. Flor goes to college. Dominic finds a career and slowly things evolve not just between he and Flor but he begins to build a new life for himself, one he can be proud of.
I know that may sound terribly boring but it truly wasn't. There are heartbreaking moments but by and large Rat Park is an uplifting story of resiliency and love that was romantic, hopeful and gave me that warm tingly feeling in my chest when I really connect to a book.
It was indescribably moving to watch Dominic fall in love and get to do things he's never gotten to do like boogie board or even going to the beach or planning a date or flying on an airplane or being someone's boyfriend. Sometimes he gets it wrong and sometimes Flor gets it wrong but they work it out because they love each other. That realism will stick with me as will the chemistry between them that was enriched by their visceral connection to one another.
Many things were striking about Vivancos' writing style including the fluid passage of time and development of her characters but it was her ability to give each a distinct voice that I found most impressive. Even more so was how their voices started to meld as the narrative evolved; they begin to incorporate words and phrases of the other's which is something that happens in real life but rarely makes it to the page.
Lastly, I appreciated how she focused on rehabilitation over punishment as a treatment methodology for addiction. It takes a village and that village is usually not found in a correctional facility. Her depiction of addiction was not only honest but underscored the importance of compassion and latitude needed to encourage recovery and that's a message that never gets old.
If you enjoy hurt/comfort, slow burns, opposites attract or gritty romances that realistically portray overcoming adversity, give Rat Park a try.
A copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.
The problem with books that deal with this topic and population is so many of them get it wrong. They make it about the addiction or the mental illness or the anger or their trust issues or the isolation and loneliness or the negative self-image or the past or the shitshow of a family when in reality it's an amalgamation of some or all of it with things thrown in that are unique to each person. It's a big ask for an author to be that thorough which is why I usually avoid books of this nature.
The commonality amongst the people I see is wanting, no craving, a connection with someone else and those are the ties that bind us all together and something Vivancos strove to stress which resonated with me.
Some are honest about it, some bluster and posture and even lie about it but save a few, they all want it, but how to attain it is the question. The "normal" conversation in this book is one I have frequently and the problem with "normal" is twofold: (a) what is normal and (b) how can one sustain "normal" when all one's ever known is dysfunction? Shitty childhood, shitty parent(s), shitty coping skills, mostly shitty friends that doubles down on itself with abuse, addiction, dropping out of school and maybe a jail stint or two thereby making the future look bleak. When you don't know a thing it's hard to envision it and even harder to strive for it without a little help.
That is the crux of Rat Park and what Vivancos illustrated so deftly: Dominic's inner turmoil and it's constancy. She got that so right. Every single day he believes the rug will be pulled from under him and everything will turn to shit again. Because that's what he believes he deserves. But also, that's all he's ever known and there is safety in that. Drugs take the edge off and make everything a pink fluffy cloud of easy for a little while. Plus, he knows how to be an addict. He knows how to live that life.
Living outside of that, being happy, being loved, being sober, being wanted are all foreign to him. He can't trust that it's anything more than a mirage, fleeting. It's no wonder he's afraid to reach for it because what if he gets used to it and it all goes away? Or worse, what if he fucks it up? Which makes some days harder to resist the itch, some easier, some days he wins the battle and some days he loses, but that doesn't make him a loser. It makes him human.
This internal uphill battle of his requires oodles of encouragement, acceptance and support which he gets from the Romeros. The Romeros take him in, make him part of their family which taps into one of my favorite themes: making a family of one's own choosing.
Flor is only 16 when they meet. It wasn't love at first sight for Dominic but I think it was for Flor. Time passes, as it's wont to do. Flor grows up. They crash into each other. Dominic has a setback. The Romeros are steadfast. Flor goes to college. Dominic finds a career and slowly things evolve not just between he and Flor but he begins to build a new life for himself, one he can be proud of.
I know that may sound terribly boring but it truly wasn't. There are heartbreaking moments but by and large Rat Park is an uplifting story of resiliency and love that was romantic, hopeful and gave me that warm tingly feeling in my chest when I really connect to a book.
It was indescribably moving to watch Dominic fall in love and get to do things he's never gotten to do like boogie board or even going to the beach or planning a date or flying on an airplane or being someone's boyfriend. Sometimes he gets it wrong and sometimes Flor gets it wrong but they work it out because they love each other. That realism will stick with me as will the chemistry between them that was enriched by their visceral connection to one another.
Many things were striking about Vivancos' writing style including the fluid passage of time and development of her characters but it was her ability to give each a distinct voice that I found most impressive. Even more so was how their voices started to meld as the narrative evolved; they begin to incorporate words and phrases of the other's which is something that happens in real life but rarely makes it to the page.
Lastly, I appreciated how she focused on rehabilitation over punishment as a treatment methodology for addiction. It takes a village and that village is usually not found in a correctional facility. Her depiction of addiction was not only honest but underscored the importance of compassion and latitude needed to encourage recovery and that's a message that never gets old.
If you enjoy hurt/comfort, slow burns, opposites attract or gritty romances that realistically portray overcoming adversity, give Rat Park a try.
A copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.
October 1, 2019
**** 4.5 Stars ****
Dominic, Dominic, Dominic, ...
Please, can I hug you?
Can I keep you?
Can I do something to make it easier?
Can I give you anything to make you happy?
Oh, darn... Another character I got attached and need to let go.
What a moving story.
I am so impressed with Marina Vivanco's writing, how she shaped Dominic's character, so dimensional, so solid and real.
Dominic's complex story was a beauty to read. In fact, Rat Park was more than a story to me. I've read it as a life lesson.
That blurb tells way too much, skip it if you want to give this angsty story a go.
Dominic, Dominic, Dominic, ...
Please, can I hug you?
Can I keep you?
Can I do something to make it easier?
Can I give you anything to make you happy?
Oh, darn... Another character I got attached and need to let go.
What a moving story.
I am so impressed with Marina Vivanco's writing, how she shaped Dominic's character, so dimensional, so solid and real.
Dominic's complex story was a beauty to read. In fact, Rat Park was more than a story to me. I've read it as a life lesson.
That blurb tells way too much, skip it if you want to give this angsty story a go.
February 4, 2020
4.35 stars
Sometimes there are good guys, like really good guys who are handed shit in life. Dominic is one of those guys.
Dominic...
This is a wonderful moving story.
Sometimes there are good guys, like really good guys who are handed shit in life. Dominic is one of those guys.
Dominic...
This is a wonderful moving story.
November 1, 2023
4.5/5
The book was real, raw, captivating and utterly beautiful.
It was my first story from Marina Vivancos and it definitely won't be my last. If you plan to read it you must know that the romance is actually part of the book, and the main story focuses on the life of the main character Dominic.
The book is not long actually, but the author perfectly managed to show the life of the protagonist from when he was seven years old to when he was already a grown man in his thirties. I think that each of us has such a character from the book, who if he had the opportunity to meet, we would never stop hugging him, knowing what he went through. Dominik falls into this category. Living with a mother who really shouldn't be called that, Dominik struggled to get through day after day. He went through a lot of stuff which kids his age shouldn't even know about. Foster care, drugs, overdose and prison. All mentioned in plural form. Those things happened throughout his childhood, until he was twenty two and older.
Things change when he meets officer Catalina Romero and her family. The found family trope is done perfectly in this book. Dominic never had people to take care of him or just ask how his day was. Add to that the addiction he still battles and his recent release from prison, which makes him even more lost in this world. Cat, and especially her son Flor, make Dominic feel like he might finally have a family.
Flor and Dominic first meet when Flor was only 16 and Dominic 25 I think, but don’t worry there is not "action" between them until Flor is 19. They bond during those years and form a beautiful friendships.
Flor has a big crush on Dominic since the first time they meet, I was giggling and kicking my feet when he was trying to hide it from Dom. He is the cutest human being, but at the same time he makes the first move and lets Dominic know that he cares about him every chance he gets.
I love their love story. Domnic has to go a long way to understand that he deserves the love of people who care about him, but when he finally realizes it, I was so happy for him that I couldn't stop smiling.
I love their cute and cozy moments.
I cant wait to read more book from this author.
The book was real, raw, captivating and utterly beautiful.
It was my first story from Marina Vivancos and it definitely won't be my last. If you plan to read it you must know that the romance is actually part of the book, and the main story focuses on the life of the main character Dominic.
The book is not long actually, but the author perfectly managed to show the life of the protagonist from when he was seven years old to when he was already a grown man in his thirties. I think that each of us has such a character from the book, who if he had the opportunity to meet, we would never stop hugging him, knowing what he went through. Dominik falls into this category. Living with a mother who really shouldn't be called that, Dominik struggled to get through day after day. He went through a lot of stuff which kids his age shouldn't even know about. Foster care, drugs, overdose and prison. All mentioned in plural form. Those things happened throughout his childhood, until he was twenty two and older.
"He wanted to rip himself apart. Not just kill himself—but eradicate any evidence that he had ever existed."
"Everything was tinted in browns and beiges. People like Dominic didn’t deserve colour."
Things change when he meets officer Catalina Romero and her family. The found family trope is done perfectly in this book. Dominic never had people to take care of him or just ask how his day was. Add to that the addiction he still battles and his recent release from prison, which makes him even more lost in this world. Cat, and especially her son Flor, make Dominic feel like he might finally have a family.
Flor and Dominic first meet when Flor was only 16 and Dominic 25 I think, but don’t worry there is not "action" between them until Flor is 19. They bond during those years and form a beautiful friendships.
"Dominic had heard a million times that misery loves company, but with Flor, optimism was infectious. It was getting into his blood. Shaping him. Dominic didn’t think to stop it."
Flor has a big crush on Dominic since the first time they meet, I was giggling and kicking my feet when he was trying to hide it from Dom. He is the cutest human being, but at the same time he makes the first move and lets Dominic know that he cares about him every chance he gets.
I love their love story. Domnic has to go a long way to understand that he deserves the love of people who care about him, but when he finally realizes it, I was so happy for him that I couldn't stop smiling.
"Flor snorted. “I’m not perfect.” “You are to me,” Dominic confessed. The words simply came out, a flood of Flor. This was the deluge."
I love their cute and cozy moments.
"We’ll tackle it together. Anything can happen, to you or to me. I just know…I just know that nothing could be worse than not being with you. I want you in my life.”"
“You really miss me, then?” Flor asked, voice too soft to come across as a joke. “Yeah, Flor. I really fucking miss you,” Dominic said, but it was okay. It was just a side effect of having Flor."
I cant wait to read more book from this author.
February 14, 2019
4.5 Stars!
This isn't the type of book I typically prefer to read. I don't like to read about addiction. And the overall feel of this one was rather melancholy.
But man, I really really liked Dominic. And I so wanted him to overcome his past. It was hard not to root for him.
And all of the love for the Romero's.
I was really pleasantly surprised by this new to me author. The writing was really great. I'll definitely be checking out more from this author.
This isn't the type of book I typically prefer to read. I don't like to read about addiction. And the overall feel of this one was rather melancholy.
But man, I really really liked Dominic. And I so wanted him to overcome his past. It was hard not to root for him.
And all of the love for the Romero's.
I was really pleasantly surprised by this new to me author. The writing was really great. I'll definitely be checking out more from this author.
May 19, 2020
3.75 Stars
Rat Park is my second read by this author and like the previous one, didn’t disappoint! I liked the writing so much, such an emotional read! What Dominic go through felt real! Told in single POV, 3rd person. it’ a standalone novel. It’s a bit angsty, a friends-to-lovers story, with likable characters. Dominic was almost 8 years older than Flor but it was like the adult one in the story was Flor but Dominic’s insecurities were very understandable with what he went through. It may not be an easy read for some readers (because of the drug addiction and the story was heavy on that part). My only complaint is towards the end it dragged at some places but aside from that, it was a really good read! Overall, I had a good time reading it and hope you enjoy it as well!
Rat Park is my second read by this author and like the previous one, didn’t disappoint! I liked the writing so much, such an emotional read! What Dominic go through felt real! Told in single POV, 3rd person. it’ a standalone novel. It’s a bit angsty, a friends-to-lovers story, with likable characters. Dominic was almost 8 years older than Flor but it was like the adult one in the story was Flor but Dominic’s insecurities were very understandable with what he went through. It may not be an easy read for some readers (because of the drug addiction and the story was heavy on that part). My only complaint is towards the end it dragged at some places but aside from that, it was a really good read! Overall, I had a good time reading it and hope you enjoy it as well!
December 8, 2020
This story is so beautiful. Heartbreaking for the first half at least, then it gets more hopeful. Slowly.
Dominic was a broken child with a broken childhood. He grew up to believe he wasn’t worthy of anything beautiful.
When he meets the Romeros, he can’t believe their kindness. And their love.
I loved Flor and Dominic. I don’t want to give too much away because like my friend Jan said, it’s better to go in blind. Don’t peak. Just go in and let yourself feel. It will be worth the tears.
Dominic was a broken child with a broken childhood. He grew up to believe he wasn’t worthy of anything beautiful.
When he meets the Romeros, he can’t believe their kindness. And their love.
I loved Flor and Dominic. I don’t want to give too much away because like my friend Jan said, it’s better to go in blind. Don’t peak. Just go in and let yourself feel. It will be worth the tears.
October 20, 2019
I jumped on Rat Park because of a GR friend's review and oh man, am I ever glad I did. I absolutely loved this book, it had everything that I love in a read..... this book is why I read.
My heart hurt for Dominic from word one, what a shitty deal that lad had from being a wee boy, he couldn't buy a damn break. His hideous, abusive childhood - because neglect is most definitely abuse, his battle with addiction and his fight to beat it.
And then, the author gave Dominic back so much in all that is the Rameros, the perfect family that gave him everything he never even knew he needed. I get chills just thinking about how utterly perfect they were for him, how beautifully they loved and accepted him, how they SAW in Dominic what he still had to discover for himself. Magic!
I loved the story, the writing style, the feel of family, Dominic's growth, his healing, the slow build to a gorgeous romance between him and Flor, though that wasn't an easy road for either of them, and they most definitely had to work to get to their happy. Well, lets just say I floved everything about this one.
Thank you Jan, you nailed this rec.
My heart hurt for Dominic from word one, what a shitty deal that lad had from being a wee boy, he couldn't buy a damn break. His hideous, abusive childhood - because neglect is most definitely abuse, his battle with addiction and his fight to beat it.
And then, the author gave Dominic back so much in all that is the Rameros, the perfect family that gave him everything he never even knew he needed. I get chills just thinking about how utterly perfect they were for him, how beautifully they loved and accepted him, how they SAW in Dominic what he still had to discover for himself. Magic!
I loved the story, the writing style, the feel of family, Dominic's growth, his healing, the slow build to a gorgeous romance between him and Flor, though that wasn't an easy road for either of them, and they most definitely had to work to get to their happy. Well, lets just say I floved everything about this one.
Thank you Jan, you nailed this rec.
April 5, 2021
Obviously I was in a mood this week and with this story I want to highlight a lot of important things that it taught:
1. The system is fucked up. 🤷🏻♀️ It doesn't seem like is handled by humans, specially considering that Dominic could have been saved when he was a child but the system failed him. 😞
2. Addiction is a horrible thing that the system is not ready to manage/help with. Even with mental illness the world is not ready. They don't have a way to help people in this type of situations. Life is general is not made for people with struggles, is a left out minority.
3. Love goes a long way, that was all that Dom needed, someone to have faith in him and wouldn't give up on him so he could start making good decisions.
4. An author can write a book about a minor falling in love with an adult without being weird. Dominic was 25 when he met Flor at 16 and he didn't have feelings for him or he didn't let himself acknowledge it until Flor was about to go to college and he didn't do A THING until Flor was an adult. Who would have thought it was possible. Mmmm 🤔🤣
Anyways, I enjoyed Dominic's journey from beginning to end, I enjoyed that the story was truthful with him not having a magical solution, he just fought hard to be ok and he kept fighting till the end. And I love that after all the pain he could be in a place of contentment.
Lovely story. ❤🥰
1. The system is fucked up. 🤷🏻♀️ It doesn't seem like is handled by humans, specially considering that Dominic could have been saved when he was a child but the system failed him. 😞
2. Addiction is a horrible thing that the system is not ready to manage/help with. Even with mental illness the world is not ready. They don't have a way to help people in this type of situations. Life is general is not made for people with struggles, is a left out minority.
3. Love goes a long way, that was all that Dom needed, someone to have faith in him and wouldn't give up on him so he could start making good decisions.
4. An author can write a book about a minor falling in love with an adult without being weird. Dominic was 25 when he met Flor at 16 and he didn't have feelings for him or he didn't let himself acknowledge it until Flor was about to go to college and he didn't do A THING until Flor was an adult. Who would have thought it was possible. Mmmm 🤔🤣
Anyways, I enjoyed Dominic's journey from beginning to end, I enjoyed that the story was truthful with him not having a magical solution, he just fought hard to be ok and he kept fighting till the end. And I love that after all the pain he could be in a place of contentment.
Lovely story. ❤🥰
June 10, 2021
I took many breaks with this one. It was heavy and heartbreaking. But it was also full of such strength and hope that whilst my heart was breaking -- it was also mending too. I loved Flor and Dominic's relationship and the found family aspect so very much. 💜💜💜
November 20, 2019
*****Five Stars*****
This is an amazing tale of overcoming and beating the odds.
I do not have the words to describe how much I loved this story.
But I have to give a great big thank you to Bev whose review brought this book to my attention and convinced me to read it.
Also, a shout out to Optimist ♰King's Wench♰'s Reviews for one of the best reviews I've seen for this book.
I don't need words when I have friends like these. :-))) Thank you ladies for one of the best books I've read all year.
This is an amazing tale of overcoming and beating the odds.
I do not have the words to describe how much I loved this story.
But I have to give a great big thank you to Bev whose review brought this book to my attention and convinced me to read it.
Also, a shout out to Optimist ♰King's Wench♰'s Reviews for one of the best reviews I've seen for this book.
I don't need words when I have friends like these. :-))) Thank you ladies for one of the best books I've read all year.
August 19, 2022
Still perfect....
..............................
OMG! What happened? I kept waiting for something to go wrong but nope....I absolutely loved it. So much that I am scared to read anything else by this author, the bar is so high.
..............................
OMG! What happened? I kept waiting for something to go wrong but nope....I absolutely loved it. So much that I am scared to read anything else by this author, the bar is so high.
January 30, 2019
I was a bit apprehensive going into this book, given the nature of the story but I should have known that what I was given by Marina Vivancos would be so much more than just a book about addiction.
She weaves the reader so deeply into Dominic's life that each of his hurts, each of his relapses, each poor choice and each fighting moment when it becomes too hard to keep going, become our own.
And then, as in each of her books, she brings hope, a found family, one with only kindness and no expectations other than the offering of love.
Dominic is an incredible character, Flor even more so, but Cat and Esteban, they're the real heroes at the heart of this amazing journey. A couple willing to see beyond the addiction, beyond the prison record and offer up a way forward.
Not to take the steps for Dominic, but to give him a solid foundation to strike out against. A truly beautiful story.
#ARC kindly received from the author in return for an honest and unbiased review.
She weaves the reader so deeply into Dominic's life that each of his hurts, each of his relapses, each poor choice and each fighting moment when it becomes too hard to keep going, become our own.
And then, as in each of her books, she brings hope, a found family, one with only kindness and no expectations other than the offering of love.
Dominic is an incredible character, Flor even more so, but Cat and Esteban, they're the real heroes at the heart of this amazing journey. A couple willing to see beyond the addiction, beyond the prison record and offer up a way forward.
Not to take the steps for Dominic, but to give him a solid foundation to strike out against. A truly beautiful story.
#ARC kindly received from the author in return for an honest and unbiased review.
November 23, 2020
~4.5 stars!~
That was SO much better than I anticipated.
I was in a certain mood - for something a little heavy. No fluff.
This is a book with a lot of addiction and melancholy undertones (more so in the first part). That's usually a turnoff for me, but I'd seen my GR friends give this high ratings, and it was on KU, so what the hell?
The first part of the book is centered on Dominic's childhood and his spiral into addiction. But it wasn't too melancholy. I was really rooting for him.
What drew me in was the author's prose. Just eloquent and beautiful, but not too purple either.
But once the romance started - damn!
This spans years of Dominic and Flor's lives. There is heartbreak and joy. And I ate every word up like it wouldn't last.
The 70% mark killed me, and I loved every delicious bit of this kind of angst.
This author is on my radar. I need to go searching for other books.
That was SO much better than I anticipated.
I was in a certain mood - for something a little heavy. No fluff.
This is a book with a lot of addiction and melancholy undertones (more so in the first part). That's usually a turnoff for me, but I'd seen my GR friends give this high ratings, and it was on KU, so what the hell?
The first part of the book is centered on Dominic's childhood and his spiral into addiction. But it wasn't too melancholy. I was really rooting for him.
What drew me in was the author's prose. Just eloquent and beautiful, but not too purple either.
The thought of having something of substance to ruin was almost more terrifying than the loneliness of not having anything in the first place.
But once the romance started - damn!
This spans years of Dominic and Flor's lives. There is heartbreak and joy. And I ate every word up like it wouldn't last.
Dominic knew what was going to happen before it did, all his muscles locking, but he still startled slightly as Flor's lips pressed against his. Soft, like the moment when sunlight hits your skin and you remember how to be warm again.
The 70% mark killed me, and I loved every delicious bit of this kind of angst.
This author is on my radar. I need to go searching for other books.
May 3, 2022
I loved this book so much I don’t even know what to say right now, except maybe that Rat Park is hands-down the best Marina Vivancos I’ve read so far. I knew I hit the jackpot when I felt myself tearing up at that dedication, though. 🎯💔😭
⚠️ But I second my friend Jan’s warning: That blurb is way too detailed! Unless you have any triggers, do not read it.
⚠️ But I second my friend Jan’s warning: That blurb is way too detailed! Unless you have any triggers, do not read it.
February 3, 2019
This was a difficult read. I love hurt/comfort, but I don’t really like to read about people who constantly doubt themselves. The inner angst in this was too much for me.
And while this was quite the compelling story, it was also super angsty.
This book starts with Dominic just 8 years old. The way he grew up and got introduced to drugs was almost too heartbreaking for me to read. I did put this book down and read another book, but I eventually decided to pick this up again. The first 20% were very difficult to get through. Dominic’s life was awful and I had a hard time believing it would ever change.
Things did get better when he was 25, but still, he was not okay.
I was hoping the romance with Flor would be all hearts and flowers, but no. They had sex for the first time when Flor was 18, but they only ended up in a real relationship when Flor was 21. I hated that they both mentioned in passing that there were other people in that time.
Dominic felt he was undeserving of Flor right up to the end of the book, and that tired me. I get where he was coming from, but it was exhausting to read about.
The writing was pretty good, and if you can handle this type of angst then you’ll love this book. But it was too depressing for me. The rating reflects my enjoyment of this book, not if it was compelling or intriguing, because it was. It just wasn't fun.
And while this was quite the compelling story, it was also super angsty.
This book starts with Dominic just 8 years old. The way he grew up and got introduced to drugs was almost too heartbreaking for me to read. I did put this book down and read another book, but I eventually decided to pick this up again. The first 20% were very difficult to get through. Dominic’s life was awful and I had a hard time believing it would ever change.
Things did get better when he was 25, but still, he was not okay.
I was hoping the romance with Flor would be all hearts and flowers, but no. They had sex for the first time when Flor was 18, but they only ended up in a real relationship when Flor was 21. I hated that they both mentioned in passing that there were other people in that time.
Dominic felt he was undeserving of Flor right up to the end of the book, and that tired me. I get where he was coming from, but it was exhausting to read about.
The writing was pretty good, and if you can handle this type of angst then you’ll love this book. But it was too depressing for me. The rating reflects my enjoyment of this book, not if it was compelling or intriguing, because it was. It just wasn't fun.
August 20, 2024
everything i read from mv affects me on such a visceral level, like she’s reaching into my core and squeezing my heart and working my tears ducts like a puppet🤣 like i can’t help but cry myself to sleep when cat says shit like:
“You’ve fallen down and now you have to get up and start walking again. That’s life. […] I’m not letting you go, Dominic. I love you, and I’m not letting you go. So, get up.”
like????😪😪😪😫😫😫 my fucking heart pls😭🤧 the way all the romeros never gave up on him, loved him when he couldn’t love himself, trusted him when he couldn’t trust himself, and supported him, gave him family and community, i-🤧🤧🤧😭😭 plsssssss i’m just one person😫
i have lots of feelings and things to say, but i can’t bc i’m too emotional and i don’t think i can do it justice. but i will say, i’m addicted to the way marina hurts me and puts me back together tho. 4.5 stars, rounded up to 5.
“You’ve fallen down and now you have to get up and start walking again. That’s life. […] I’m not letting you go, Dominic. I love you, and I’m not letting you go. So, get up.”
like????😪😪😪😫😫😫 my fucking heart pls😭🤧 the way all the romeros never gave up on him, loved him when he couldn’t love himself, trusted him when he couldn’t trust himself, and supported him, gave him family and community, i-🤧🤧🤧😭😭 plsssssss i’m just one person😫
i have lots of feelings and things to say, but i can’t bc i’m too emotional and i don’t think i can do it justice. but i will say, i’m addicted to the way marina hurts me and puts me back together tho. 4.5 stars, rounded up to 5.
February 4, 2019
This book was a surprising hit for me. It started off rough in the first 20sh%.
Why?
-Unfit parent
-Underage drug use. Reading about a minor snorting coke, injecting heroin, and smoking crack were difficult.
I put the book down and questioned if I could go back to it. After a couple of days, I picked it back up, and I'm glad I did.
That's not to say everything was rainbows and butterflies, but it got better. The story is strictly told from Dominic's POV as it is his story of healing and perseverance.
Some highlights:
-Although it is a longer book- it flows quickly and doesn't feel long.
-Nice relationship development
-Moderate steam
-Character growth
-Friends to lovers
-The Romeros ❤
-And the end was full of hope.
++A couple of notes:
1. Nothing happens between Flor and Dominic until Flor was 18 and the actual relationship doesn't start until Flor was 21.
2. There was mention of other boyfriends/hookups but never on page, and they made sense with the progression of their relationship. I saw it mentioned by other reviewers and didn't want others to be put off.
This was a beautifully written story of friendships, believing in yourself, healing, and love.
I'll definitely look for more books from this author.
4.5 Stars
Why?
-Unfit parent
-Underage drug use. Reading about a minor snorting coke, injecting heroin, and smoking crack were difficult.
I put the book down and questioned if I could go back to it. After a couple of days, I picked it back up, and I'm glad I did.
That's not to say everything was rainbows and butterflies, but it got better. The story is strictly told from Dominic's POV as it is his story of healing and perseverance.
Some highlights:
-Although it is a longer book- it flows quickly and doesn't feel long.
-Nice relationship development
-Moderate steam
-Character growth
-Friends to lovers
-The Romeros ❤
-And the end was full of hope.
++A couple of notes:
1. Nothing happens between Flor and Dominic until Flor was 18 and the actual relationship doesn't start until Flor was 21.
2. There was mention of other boyfriends/hookups but never on page, and they made sense with the progression of their relationship. I saw it mentioned by other reviewers and didn't want others to be put off.
This was a beautifully written story of friendships, believing in yourself, healing, and love.
I'll definitely look for more books from this author.
4.5 Stars
December 29, 2020
4.5 Stars. For a relatively new author, MV is one of my few autobuys and also one of the very, very few authors I stalk looking for their next book. Her writing is always tight, lyrical and intense. She has a good grasp of her character motivations and gives us plenty of time to get to know the MC's and become completely invested in their lives. This book was no different. I loved this book. I couldn't put it down.
One observation of her style of epic storytelling that involves years and years of varying types of trauma and then delves into the therapy that goes with the healing is that it's noticeable when she skips over life details that therapy would be addressing. The hidden facet of the relationship between Dominic and Flor is just something that I think would have been a huge part of Dominic's therapy to encourage him to get out from under the shame of that aspect. Additionally, since she often includes long standing relationships outside of the core relationship, such as that of Dominic, Cat and Esteban, too often those relationships are swept aside into generic paragraphs of time sweeping by prematurely. Again, with the hidden aspect, how did Dominic really continue to interact with Cat and Esteban without Flor around and not spiral from the anxiety of that more than once? We don't see any of that but since MV is so, so good at getting us to invest in the lives of her MC's, this is something glaringly missing and can't really be glossed over with a few throwaway sentences. And finally, That Dominic never asks Cat; why him? She is around people like him all the time, why did she choose him to invite into her life? As a reader, I needed to know that motivation. The book misses something because this is never asked, even if there is no answer except "I don't know".
**Last, and this is really my only criticism, as a writer that seems to go out of her way to be inclusive and mental health positive, to include the STI/HIV talk as asking/stating if someone is "clean" is just gross. She should know better than this and approach this talk in way that isn't blatant shaming.**
** The author has changed this in the current downloads so if your copy has a more positive discussion around this topic, disregard**
One observation of her style of epic storytelling that involves years and years of varying types of trauma and then delves into the therapy that goes with the healing is that it's noticeable when she skips over life details that therapy would be addressing. The hidden facet of the relationship between Dominic and Flor is just something that I think would have been a huge part of Dominic's therapy to encourage him to get out from under the shame of that aspect. Additionally, since she often includes long standing relationships outside of the core relationship, such as that of Dominic, Cat and Esteban, too often those relationships are swept aside into generic paragraphs of time sweeping by prematurely. Again, with the hidden aspect, how did Dominic really continue to interact with Cat and Esteban without Flor around and not spiral from the anxiety of that more than once? We don't see any of that but since MV is so, so good at getting us to invest in the lives of her MC's, this is something glaringly missing and can't really be glossed over with a few throwaway sentences. And finally, That Dominic never asks Cat; why him? She is around people like him all the time, why did she choose him to invite into her life? As a reader, I needed to know that motivation. The book misses something because this is never asked, even if there is no answer except "I don't know".
**Last, and this is really my only criticism, as a writer that seems to go out of her way to be inclusive and mental health positive, to include the STI/HIV talk as asking/stating if someone is "clean" is just gross. She should know better than this and approach this talk in way that isn't blatant shaming.**
** The author has changed this in the current downloads so if your copy has a more positive discussion around this topic, disregard**
February 6, 2019
I don’t like drugs in my books. Addictive, hard core drugs just aren’t romantic to me so I usually avoid anything with “addiction” in the pages. This book would have been avoided had I known just how much this focused on addiction.
I think I decided to read this because I thought it would be a book about two boys falling in love, one who is an addict. And I thought that was just right there on the edge of what I am comfortable with, ya know? That isn’t what this book was really, but at the same time it kind of was.
I am very thankful I didn’t miss out on this book. I am not necessarily glad that I read it but at the same time I think it would have been a shame had I missed out on this story.
Overall this wasn’t an easy read. It was so sad. I hurt so much for Dominic. His lost childhood, his circumstances that lead him completely in the wrong directions and mostly, his own head and thoughts and beliefs. It was sad and hard to read about. Hope just never felt like it was an option and it was scary to try to hold on to anything.
Until it was all I could hold on to. Belief and acceptance and yeah, a kind of re-wiring so to speak, it all had me holding my breath and smiling huge. It had me breathing and finally, hoping.
I couldn’t put it down. I devoured the story and felt every word of it.
It was worth it all the uncomfortable and sadness.
I know this is probably more fiction than real life but I am ok with that. Anything heavier and I’d have fallen over. I am here for the romance after all.
I know how lucky I am. If I didn’t, finishing this was for sure a reminder.
Excellent.
I think I decided to read this because I thought it would be a book about two boys falling in love, one who is an addict. And I thought that was just right there on the edge of what I am comfortable with, ya know? That isn’t what this book was really, but at the same time it kind of was.
I am very thankful I didn’t miss out on this book. I am not necessarily glad that I read it but at the same time I think it would have been a shame had I missed out on this story.
Overall this wasn’t an easy read. It was so sad. I hurt so much for Dominic. His lost childhood, his circumstances that lead him completely in the wrong directions and mostly, his own head and thoughts and beliefs. It was sad and hard to read about. Hope just never felt like it was an option and it was scary to try to hold on to anything.
Until it was all I could hold on to. Belief and acceptance and yeah, a kind of re-wiring so to speak, it all had me holding my breath and smiling huge. It had me breathing and finally, hoping.
I couldn’t put it down. I devoured the story and felt every word of it.
It was worth it all the uncomfortable and sadness.
I know this is probably more fiction than real life but I am ok with that. Anything heavier and I’d have fallen over. I am here for the romance after all.
I know how lucky I am. If I didn’t, finishing this was for sure a reminder.
Excellent.
Read
February 27, 2019 3.5 stars
This was a new-to-me author and the story came highly recommended from several trusted friends. While I didn't have the "blown away" experience they did, there is quite a bit to like in the story, but there was also quite a bit that bothered me throughout.
The beginning of the story delves into Dominic's rough childhood and teen years. Living with a mother who is an addict in a house where the party is usually at, it's not hard to see why Dominic winds up addicted and running drugs at an early age. That is just part of the difficulties he faces before ending up doing a stint in jail.
When Officer Romero enters Dominic's life, he begins to see another way. She invites him to volunteer with her, and to come to her home for meals, where he meets and bonds with her husband and her teenage son, Flor. Flor is optimistic, smart and funny and he has an instant crush on the older Dominic. As the years go on, the relationship between Dominic and Flor changes and once Flor is of age, things become complicated. Flor never gives up on Dominic, even when he is ready to give up on himself. It's a sweet, emotional relationship, and it doesn't come easy. This part of the story was very well-done. Their story spans about 10 years and wasn't as angsty as I expected, but it did cover a lot of ups and downs.
A few things stopped me from giving the story a higher rating. One thing that bothered me throughout the story was that I had no real sense of where it took place, and no location is given. It feels as though it's supposed to be set in the US, but was written by someone who doesn't live in the country; full of spellings and wording that clearly were not American English. That lack of a sense of place distracted me throughout the book.
I also wanted to see more about Cat's relationship with Dominic. What did she see in him that had her bringing him into her family and not any of the other young men or women she must have found in a similar situation. There was also a pulling away from the relationship later in the narrative - we are given very little insight into how the two stayed close when Flor wasn't around. It's a relationship that basically saved the character's life, yet it sort of faded into the background for a good part of the story.
Aside from those issues, I enjoyed the story of the romance and of Dominic's struggle to change his mindset and change his life.
This was a new-to-me author and the story came highly recommended from several trusted friends. While I didn't have the "blown away" experience they did, there is quite a bit to like in the story, but there was also quite a bit that bothered me throughout.
The beginning of the story delves into Dominic's rough childhood and teen years. Living with a mother who is an addict in a house where the party is usually at, it's not hard to see why Dominic winds up addicted and running drugs at an early age. That is just part of the difficulties he faces before ending up doing a stint in jail.
When Officer Romero enters Dominic's life, he begins to see another way. She invites him to volunteer with her, and to come to her home for meals, where he meets and bonds with her husband and her teenage son, Flor. Flor is optimistic, smart and funny and he has an instant crush on the older Dominic. As the years go on, the relationship between Dominic and Flor changes and once Flor is of age, things become complicated. Flor never gives up on Dominic, even when he is ready to give up on himself. It's a sweet, emotional relationship, and it doesn't come easy. This part of the story was very well-done. Their story spans about 10 years and wasn't as angsty as I expected, but it did cover a lot of ups and downs.
A few things stopped me from giving the story a higher rating. One thing that bothered me throughout the story was that I had no real sense of where it took place, and no location is given. It feels as though it's supposed to be set in the US, but was written by someone who doesn't live in the country; full of spellings and wording that clearly were not American English. That lack of a sense of place distracted me throughout the book.
I also wanted to see more about Cat's relationship with Dominic. What did she see in him that had her bringing him into her family and not any of the other young men or women she must have found in a similar situation. There was also a pulling away from the relationship later in the narrative - we are given very little insight into how the two stayed close when Flor wasn't around. It's a relationship that basically saved the character's life, yet it sort of faded into the background for a good part of the story.
Aside from those issues, I enjoyed the story of the romance and of Dominic's struggle to change his mindset and change his life.
April 9, 2021
This was great! The story takes place over more than 20years and time moves along seamlessly. It is a romance but more than anything else it is Dominic's story: his addiction and how he built relationships to people (romantically but not only). We don't really get to know Flor because we only see him through Dominic's eyes and Flor says he is not reliable but that was ok. They were very cute, steamy and supported each other. The back and forth felt genuine, even though it is very angsty. They are equals in the relationship. I really loved this story and would recommend going into it kind of blind so I won't say more.
May 3, 2025
5+++ 🌟
Just amazing! I laughed, I cried, I stayed up late and woke up early to finish reading it before work. Books like this are why I love reading 💜 I don’t usually care for stories about addiction because they always seem so inauthentic, or the addict is magically cured by “true lurve”. The portrayal of addiction in this story is realistic and very moving
Just amazing! I laughed, I cried, I stayed up late and woke up early to finish reading it before work. Books like this are why I love reading 💜 I don’t usually care for stories about addiction because they always seem so inauthentic, or the addict is magically cured by “true lurve”. The portrayal of addiction in this story is realistic and very moving
February 11, 2019
4.5-4.75 stars.
My God, this was not an easy read. Although it doesn't have any angst either which I'm not gonna lie, I was thankful for because all those feels.
You start the book early on in Dominic's life and go well into the thirties (I think?). Dominic hasn't lived an easy life by any means which made me just wanna give me a hug and protect him from the world. It all changes when he meets the Romero's.
Flor and Dominic have an amazing relationship. Although it's not perfect, it was real and exactly what I wanted to read about. The chemistry, emotions, everything were there.
This book made me happy as much as it made me sad and cry. I'm definitely a fan of the author and would highly recommend if you want to read something not fluffy.
My God, this was not an easy read. Although it doesn't have any angst either which I'm not gonna lie, I was thankful for because all those feels.
You start the book early on in Dominic's life and go well into the thirties (I think?). Dominic hasn't lived an easy life by any means which made me just wanna give me a hug and protect him from the world. It all changes when he meets the Romero's.
Flor and Dominic have an amazing relationship. Although it's not perfect, it was real and exactly what I wanted to read about. The chemistry, emotions, everything were there.
This book made me happy as much as it made me sad and cry. I'm definitely a fan of the author and would highly recommend if you want to read something not fluffy.
February 9, 2019
*Deep breath* Be prepared for an laborious, excellent story.
We follow Dominic from when he was a little boy till early thirties. At barely seventeen Dominic was put into juvie... caught being a drug runner. The years before that were hard and rough. Drugs are familiar and a way out.
So much self destructive thoughts were going through his head.
“Dominic hated everything. He hated the air in his lungs and his body and his pathetic self”
After going further downwards Dominic is again in jail, getting out at twenty five, standing at a cross road.
“He could do anything. The thought was terrifying”
The impression about the outside world and all the stimuli was so well displayed in this read... it was all palpable.
“I’ve got nothing to give.”
Until a persistent, wonderful woman took him in her heart and never let him go again.
She let him in her home, her family to her husband and her young son... Florian
We follow their ups and downs through the years.
Heartbreaking moments. More than once I cried at the moments where it was so clear Dominic's vision and experience with life was so different. But also beautiful moments, the blooming friendship, and love of Flor and Dominic. Flor who was fierce and determined wanted Dominic. Dominic... living, existing, with the belief he didn’t deserve happiness....struggling and stumbling through life was so strong!
We see beautiful love making, unconditional support, changes, opportunities, and deep rooted love.
Every emotion was very well described... the facial expressions... the body language... with this, everything was so palpable... some lines I just read three or four times to feel it again and again, really well done!!
For me this was an amazingly written, deep moving story with stunning personalities... so worth reading!!
You are never only one thing!
Read and reviewed for Diverse Reader
We follow Dominic from when he was a little boy till early thirties. At barely seventeen Dominic was put into juvie... caught being a drug runner. The years before that were hard and rough. Drugs are familiar and a way out.
So much self destructive thoughts were going through his head.
“Dominic hated everything. He hated the air in his lungs and his body and his pathetic self”
After going further downwards Dominic is again in jail, getting out at twenty five, standing at a cross road.
“He could do anything. The thought was terrifying”
The impression about the outside world and all the stimuli was so well displayed in this read... it was all palpable.
“I’ve got nothing to give.”
Until a persistent, wonderful woman took him in her heart and never let him go again.
She let him in her home, her family to her husband and her young son... Florian
We follow their ups and downs through the years.
Heartbreaking moments. More than once I cried at the moments where it was so clear Dominic's vision and experience with life was so different. But also beautiful moments, the blooming friendship, and love of Flor and Dominic. Flor who was fierce and determined wanted Dominic. Dominic... living, existing, with the belief he didn’t deserve happiness....struggling and stumbling through life was so strong!
We see beautiful love making, unconditional support, changes, opportunities, and deep rooted love.
Every emotion was very well described... the facial expressions... the body language... with this, everything was so palpable... some lines I just read three or four times to feel it again and again, really well done!!
For me this was an amazingly written, deep moving story with stunning personalities... so worth reading!!
You are never only one thing!
Read and reviewed for Diverse Reader
April 18, 2021
It has taken me a few days to think about what I want to write about this book because it was personal for me in a way, but I didn't know if I wanted to share it since it is really unpleasant. I decided to at least mention it because I want to say how much I love this author's writing and I am not sure of her background but I don't know how she gets so much right, at least the parts that pertain to my experience.
I grew up in two households, one was my father's and one was my mother's. They divorced when I was 4 and from my mom's POV, it was because my dad was too controlling & from my dad's POV, my mom was too wild & always wanted to party. They were both right.
This was in the 70s & 80s so the courts tended to give custody to the mother no matter what the situation because "kids need to be with their moms, " but occasionally my dad did get custody but none of that seemed to matter because they kidnapped me back and forth. I went to 13 different elementary schools in who knows how many cities & states.
Since my dad was the more stable one, it was pretty normal with him. I went to school, played outside, we went to the beach etc., he was strict but still an affectionate person.
My mother on the hand, only wanted to party & have fun & take drugs. She had a string of boyfriends and got in with the biker crowd & we went to biker parties. The key word was "we. " I wasn't usually the only kid around because I guess they thought it was a family event to have adults drink heavily, fight, fuck wherever and do all of this into the wee hours of the night with kids running around unsupervised.
When I got a little older & I was more screwed up (added to being a teen. ) I ran away to be with mom because my father & then stepmother were stifling & I was a volcano of pent-up everything. My mom, who was a liar of amazing proportions, told me that she was stable and that she had a business (she had learned to tattoo while I was growing up, through all of the partying but that's another story.)
What she didn't tell me, because I always wanted to believe her, was that her boyfriend was part of a motorcycle club (& you know, it sounds way too sophisticated that way) which was worse in some ways & better in others, I guess?
They had parties and got drunk. There were less fights but more drugs, in the form of crank, but there was usually one of the girlfriends looking after the kids, at least.
My memory is spotty on some things but one thing that was vivid is how controlling the men were with the wives and girlfriends. My mom was only allowed to do so much & there was mental & physical abuse of her. He never touched me. I was basically a non-entity. By the time he had become the president of the club and my mom was fed up, she decided we were going to leave & she had no car so we took what we could & started to walk out of town. He found us, snatched her up & left me screaming on the side of the road.
I was sent back to my dad who refused to take me, so my mom's sister said she would. This was in Daytona Beach, FL & I was 14 or 15 at the time. I won't get into THAT whole story but let's just say that she thought I was mature enough to drink and party with her. It was not good. She was her boss's mistress and had an amazing house, car & clothes he bought for her so she made me a mini-version of her looks-wise, but would get mad at me if one of her many guy friends took an interest in me.
After a while with my aunt, I went back to my dad's and it was worse than before, of course, because I ran away, so I started partying myself and although I wasn't one for drugs, they scared the shit out of me, I did drink, got mixed up with people on the wrong side of town for a short while, got kicked out of my house & quit school 8-weeks before I graduated.
I didn't stay there long because that side of town was this book & I was not going down that road so I got the rest of my credits at night school & went to the Air Force. It was not all sunshine & rainbows after that, let me tell you, but I had a LOT of therapy and was thrilled to get out of my 20s.
I never got addicted, but I saw it from a child's point of view and I was one of the lucky ones who didn't. The themes in this book are so real. I remember the parties with adults trying to get kids to drink. Also this is the second book that the author has had a therapist who was amazing and it was perfect what they said (which is why I wonder about the author's background.) I had a different story than this one obviously but it still really struck a nerve at how well this theme was handled.
I have so many stories about my life that sound unreal, like they are completely made-up, and I always thought if I could write, it would have been one hell of a book.
I grew up in two households, one was my father's and one was my mother's. They divorced when I was 4 and from my mom's POV, it was because my dad was too controlling & from my dad's POV, my mom was too wild & always wanted to party. They were both right.
This was in the 70s & 80s so the courts tended to give custody to the mother no matter what the situation because "kids need to be with their moms, " but occasionally my dad did get custody but none of that seemed to matter because they kidnapped me back and forth. I went to 13 different elementary schools in who knows how many cities & states.
Since my dad was the more stable one, it was pretty normal with him. I went to school, played outside, we went to the beach etc., he was strict but still an affectionate person.
My mother on the hand, only wanted to party & have fun & take drugs. She had a string of boyfriends and got in with the biker crowd & we went to biker parties. The key word was "we. " I wasn't usually the only kid around because I guess they thought it was a family event to have adults drink heavily, fight, fuck wherever and do all of this into the wee hours of the night with kids running around unsupervised.
When I got a little older & I was more screwed up (added to being a teen. ) I ran away to be with mom because my father & then stepmother were stifling & I was a volcano of pent-up everything. My mom, who was a liar of amazing proportions, told me that she was stable and that she had a business (she had learned to tattoo while I was growing up, through all of the partying but that's another story.)
What she didn't tell me, because I always wanted to believe her, was that her boyfriend was part of a motorcycle club (& you know, it sounds way too sophisticated that way) which was worse in some ways & better in others, I guess?
They had parties and got drunk. There were less fights but more drugs, in the form of crank, but there was usually one of the girlfriends looking after the kids, at least.
My memory is spotty on some things but one thing that was vivid is how controlling the men were with the wives and girlfriends. My mom was only allowed to do so much & there was mental & physical abuse of her. He never touched me. I was basically a non-entity. By the time he had become the president of the club and my mom was fed up, she decided we were going to leave & she had no car so we took what we could & started to walk out of town. He found us, snatched her up & left me screaming on the side of the road.
I was sent back to my dad who refused to take me, so my mom's sister said she would. This was in Daytona Beach, FL & I was 14 or 15 at the time. I won't get into THAT whole story but let's just say that she thought I was mature enough to drink and party with her. It was not good. She was her boss's mistress and had an amazing house, car & clothes he bought for her so she made me a mini-version of her looks-wise, but would get mad at me if one of her many guy friends took an interest in me.
After a while with my aunt, I went back to my dad's and it was worse than before, of course, because I ran away, so I started partying myself and although I wasn't one for drugs, they scared the shit out of me, I did drink, got mixed up with people on the wrong side of town for a short while, got kicked out of my house & quit school 8-weeks before I graduated.
I didn't stay there long because that side of town was this book & I was not going down that road so I got the rest of my credits at night school & went to the Air Force. It was not all sunshine & rainbows after that, let me tell you, but I had a LOT of therapy and was thrilled to get out of my 20s.
I never got addicted, but I saw it from a child's point of view and I was one of the lucky ones who didn't. The themes in this book are so real. I remember the parties with adults trying to get kids to drink. Also this is the second book that the author has had a therapist who was amazing and it was perfect what they said (which is why I wonder about the author's background.) I had a different story than this one obviously but it still really struck a nerve at how well this theme was handled.
I have so many stories about my life that sound unreal, like they are completely made-up, and I always thought if I could write, it would have been one hell of a book.
April 17, 2025
4.5-4.75 stars. I am completely fanboying over Marina V right now and will seriously be making my way though her entire catalogue this year!
This book was beautiful!! I loved it on a profound level. I was curious about the title as in my professional world, rat park has a particular meaning. As I was reading RP it was confirmed for me that MV was indeed utilising the concepts from the 1970's studies to tell Dominic's heartbreakingly beautiful story about addiction, and his pathway to healing through connection and community.
I just wanted to hug and love the pain out of Dominic. I read "In This Iron Ground" a few weeks before RP, and I felt the same way about the MC in that book too. Marina knows how to write deeply wounded sad boys and their stunningly touching stories of healing and finding home. Dominic's relationship with Flor was just so so sweet and good, and at times frustrating. I fell in love with these boys and just wanted to read about everything they did together because it also provided comfort to me as the reader.
If you decide to read this - please check out Johann Hari's TED talk about the Rat Park experiment as it provides some context to (I'm assuming) what possibly? inspired Dominic's story.
*My only critiques were: at times the pacing of the story was uneven, we would've benefited from Flor's POV, and the ending wrapped up too quickly, in that we were provided with Flor's POV, which resulted in some things being resolved and then it was over. Regardless, this book was a standout this month!
This book was beautiful!! I loved it on a profound level. I was curious about the title as in my professional world, rat park has a particular meaning. As I was reading RP it was confirmed for me that MV was indeed utilising the concepts from the 1970's studies to tell Dominic's heartbreakingly beautiful story about addiction, and his pathway to healing through connection and community.
I just wanted to hug and love the pain out of Dominic. I read "In This Iron Ground" a few weeks before RP, and I felt the same way about the MC in that book too. Marina knows how to write deeply wounded sad boys and their stunningly touching stories of healing and finding home. Dominic's relationship with Flor was just so so sweet and good, and at times frustrating. I fell in love with these boys and just wanted to read about everything they did together because it also provided comfort to me as the reader.
If you decide to read this - please check out Johann Hari's TED talk about the Rat Park experiment as it provides some context to (I'm assuming) what possibly? inspired Dominic's story.
*My only critiques were: at times the pacing of the story was uneven, we would've benefited from Flor's POV, and the ending wrapped up too quickly, in that we were provided with Flor's POV, which resulted in some things being resolved and then it was over. Regardless, this book was a standout this month!
August 28, 2021
A lot of romance novels include a traumatic childhood/backstory simply as a way to introduce conflict or angst, and oftentimes in a way that feels like trauma porn. Not this book. Vivancos spends a lot of time on Dominic's childhood and young adulthood, his addiction, and his trauma, but in a way that feels respectful and genuinely necessary to understanding who he is. Vivancos shows you just how hard it can be even to want to improve yourself, much less do it. This is a compassionate, empathetic book that shows how much we stand to gain when we treat one another with empathy, and how much we stand to lose when we don't.
I also loved how Dominic and Flor work as a couple not because they're perfect for one another in the sense that their personalities just mesh, but because they are willing to work hard to understand one another and tackle the challenges that will inevitably arise in the future because of their fundamental differences.
I also loved how Dominic and Flor work as a couple not because they're perfect for one another in the sense that their personalities just mesh, but because they are willing to work hard to understand one another and tackle the challenges that will inevitably arise in the future because of their fundamental differences.
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