History Of Mistresses

by Elizabeth Abbott

She has been known as the "kept woman," the "fancy woman," and the "other woman." The French acknowledge her existence by remarking, "The chains of marriage are so heavy that it often takes three people to carry them." She is Jeanne Antoinette de Pompadour, and Simone de Beauvoir, not to mention Marilyn Monroe and Camilla Parker-Bowles. She is a mistress, and she has been – and is – very much apart of our human cultural history. But who is she, really?...

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Biography, Historical, Feminism, Sexuality, Relationships

510 pages, Hardcover

First published June 17, 2004

About the author

http://globalnews.ca/video/1991145/do...

Reviews

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was fine.

In the way that a meal at TGIFriday's is fine.

It's not earth shattering, it's not enlightening. It's the historical equivalent of loaded potato skins--yummy, filling, but not nutritious.

Abbott, whose book History of the Wife I loved, goes encyclopedic on the life of every mistress mentioned in history or literature. It's like tiny little biographies of each of them, including the harem and the concubine system. She discusses Jane Eyre. Seriously. In a book about mistresses--that's kind of a stretch. I also never have to read Of Human Bondage or Dr Zhivago. That entire chapter should be labeled "don't read unless you don't want to read any of these books." And for the record, how she misses Sister Carrie when listing mistresses in fiction bugs the beejeezus out of me.

I got a lot about Marilyn Monroe, Camilla Parker-Bowles, and Joyce Maynard (who, in my opinion, hardly counts as a mistress since she didn't really live with Salinger for that long, more of a really vindictive ex-girlfriend). I got little bio about these, but then nothing about Diane du Poitiers (seriously, how do you skip that one!). The omissions were more startling than the inclusions.

Not that I'm a prude, far from it, but wow, did this book love the detail about the sex lives of those involved. Lots of detail. Also fun facts like Maria Callas ingesting a tape worm to lose weight.

This whole book was wearisome. There was no connecting. It was just bio after bio of women who hated being "the other woman," women who loved it, women who didn't care. Pretty much if you've ever loved, liked, or just dated a guy who you either didn't want to marry or who didn't want to marry you for whatever reason, you qualified to be in this book.

It's better for skimming than to read, and I gave it the third star strictly because some of the bios were entertaining.

[Ebony · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you're looking to read this book kindly skip chapter 7 as it is a series of romantic takes on a very violent history. Abbot is not a historian of slavery which makes her attempt to dip her foot into the very complex and difficult history of interracial relations between women of African descent (specifically those who were enslaved) and white men tough from the start. Her attempt to frame these relations as romantic is worrisome especially when she is using incomplete/highly mediated sources or sources written entirely by the white male in the relationship. For instance, in her discussion of Phibbah, Abbot takes nothing Thistlewood says cum grano and instead assumes that Phibbah, traveling long distances to give him gifts, was symbolic of love and adoration. If Abbot had a background in the subject she may have been able to think critically about these actions and how they could very well be forms of resistance or attempts by Phibbah to attach herself to a man who would free her from slavery and allow her to gain her own economic standing in Jamaican society (which she successfully does by doing these things to Thistlewood).
Another issue in this chapter is her failure to historicize consent. In her attempt to make some of these stories romantic she fails to discuss at length that enslaved women were property and they didn't have to ability to say "yes" or "no" to sexual relations (long or short term) with white men. This coupled with the fact that she relies heavily on unreliable and pompous narrators like Thistlewood’s to guide her views and understanding of these women does a great disservice to these women and their legacies.
I commend Abbot for her attempt, but slavery and the complex relations within that institution are best left to those who have studied it and are able to see the whole picture. This is not a subject that should be romanticized; yes these women could have loved white men and of course they were sexually assaulted by white men, but the complexity of human emotion mediated by a clear and bias hegemon needs to be discussed more in depth & critically than this single chapter or it risks leaving readers with half truths and faulty assumptions about women who were far more complicated than Abbot portrays.

[Ebony · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mistresses: A History is a global exploration of women’s choices throughout history told as much as possible through their perspectives. Abbot seems fair and evenhanded even as she admits to reconstructing what many of these women must have felt. A masterpiece of organization and research, any serious student of women’s history must read this book

[Stephanie Molnar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a terrible book but definitely is dated in some of it's phrases and ideas. Fat shaming and a lack of understanding on how non-heterosexual relationships work is also problematic.

[kingshearte · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the introduction to this book, Abbott suggests that the stories of mistresses she shares in this book kind of come together in some way to form a picture of not only mistressdom, but its effect on, and what it says about our society as a whole. I'm not sure she really succeeded with that. This book didn't really have a cohesive thesis; it was simply a collection of mini-biographies of mistresses through the ages. Most of which were very interesting, and engaging to read, but definitely not cohesive. Perhaps that's a good thing, in that it forces you to draw your own conclusions, conduct your own critical analysis of the subject matter. But mostly, for me, it was just very interesting to read about these women's lives.

Some things I learned:

~ Byron was the only aristocrat to have mistresses, or so it seems based on the fact that three of the four sections in that chapter are about some of Byron's many mistresses.

~ Getting involved with the mafia is a very bad idea, as it appears to inevitably lead to being beaten and raped, as well as frequently being shared among business associates.

~ Elizabeth Abbott loooooooooooves Graham Greene. Seriously, the section devoted to him and his mistress was just riddled with references to his genius and brilliance as an author. The other artists in that chapter were not nearly so effusively praised.

Ultimately, this was a fun read, but not enormously enlightening, as, like I said, it doesn't really present any conclusions or opinions about what any of this means, except perhaps that mistressdom has pretty much always been around, and likely always will be.

[Πάνος Τουρλής · Rating 4 out of 5]

Μετρέσες λοιπόν. Mistresses. Όχι σύζυγοι (=wives). Καλογραμμένο, μελετημένο, δε θα το έλεγα επιστημονικό, μιας και χρησιμοποιεί αρκετές καθημερινές, σχεδόν λαϊκές εκφράσεις, χωρίς αυτό να αναιρεί ούτε το σημαντικό περιεχόμενο ούτε την επιστημονική έρευνα, μελέτη και απόδοση της συγγραφέως. Κείμενα κατανοητά, απλά, καλογραμμένα, στο σύνολό τους διαγράφουν έναν κύκλο ανά περιόδους της Ιστορίας, κατά χώρες του πλανήτη και ανά λογοτεχνικά κείμενα. Μια ολοκληρωμένη ματιά γύρω από τις αστεφάνωτες του μάταιου τούτου κόσμου. Τα επιμέρους κεφάλαια βοηθούν να διαβαστεί το βιβλίο και αποσπασματική ή τμηματικά, δεν είναι απαραίτητο να το διαβάσετε όλο μαζί με τη μία. Μετά από χρόνια εξαντλητικής έρευνας, η συγγραφέας κατέληξε στις πιο αντιπροσωπευτικές περιπτώσεις μετρεσών, μέσω της ιστορίας των οποίων δείχνει τον κοινωνικό, πολιτιστικό, πολιτικό, οικονομικό περιβάλλοντα χώρο κάθε εποχής και έθνους. Μέσα από τα κείμενα αναπαρίσταται πλήρως το υπόβαθρο στο οποίο δρουν κάποιες "χαρισματικές", "πρωτοπόρες" γυναίκες, που κάποιες έβαλαν τα θεμέλια για να προχωρήσει η γυναικεία χειραφέτηση και η ερωτική απελευθέρωση λίγο πιο πέρα.

Από την Άγαρ της Βίβλου και την Ασπασία του Περικλή, από τις περιπέτειες και τα συγκινητικά παραδείγματα των παλλακίδων σε Κίνα και Ιαπωνία, από τα χαρέμια του Σουλτάνου και την καπάτσα και πανέξυπνη Ροξελάνα ή Χουρρέμ του Σουλεϊμάν του Μεγαλοπρεπούς, φτάνουμε στις βασιλικές μετρέσες της Ευρώπης (Ζαν-Αντουνέτ ντε Πομπαντούρ, Ζαν ντι Μπαρί, Λόλα Μοντέζ, Καταρίνα Σραφτ, Καμίλα Πάρκερ-Μπόουλς-ναι, κι αυτήν). Ξεχωριστό κεφάλαιο για την αγαμία και την αποχή από το σεξ των κληρικών του ρωμαιοκαθολικισμού και τις χιλιάδες επιπτώσεις που είχαν αυτά τα θέσφατα κυρίως στις γυναίκες, που είτε εκβιάζονταν είτε το ήθελαν, αν έκαναν σχέση με ιερωμένους καταδικάζονταν σε θάνατο ενώ οι κληρικοί τη γλύτωναν με νηστεία και προσευχές! Στο βιβλίο αναφέρεται ακόμη και η Εύα Μπράουν και καταγράφονται περιπτώσεις Εβραίων γυναικών που δεν έπαυαν να παρενοχλούνται σεξουαλικά ακόμη και μέσα στα στρατόπεδα συγκέντρωσης! (σε αυτό το σημείο η συγγραφέας έχει απόλυτο δίκιο και χωρίς να παραβλέπω ότι το Ολοκαύτωμα ήταν εξίσου ολέθριο και για τα δύο φύλα υποστηρίζω την άποψή της ότι περισσότερα τράβηξαν οι γυναίκες: εγκυμοσύνες, εκτρώσεις, πειράματα, βιασμοί, ακόμη και ψυχολογικός εκβιασμός να διαλέξουν ανάμεσα στα παιδιά τους ή ανάμεσα στα παιδιά και στο θάνατό τους). Προχωράμε στις μούσες που ενέπνευσαν μεγάλους άντρες: Ελοΐζα και Αβελάρδος, Εμιλί ντι Σατλέ και Βολταίρος, Ζαν Εμπιτέρν και Μοντιλιάνι, Τζωρτζ Έλιοτ (ψευδώνυμο της Μαίρη Αν Έβανς, εμπνευσμένο από το όνομα του εραστή της), Λίλιαν Χέλμαν και Ντάσιελ Χάμετ, Κάθριν Ουόλστον και Γκράχαμ Γκριν. Συνεχίζουμε με μετρέσες εγκληματιών και μαφιόζων, με μετρέσες-τρόπαια (π. χ. Μέριλυν Μονρόε, Γκλόρια Σβάνσον, Τζούντιθ Κάμπελ) και η μελέτη κλείνει με μετρέσες στη λογοτεχνία: ποιος (ή μάλλον ποια) δεν έχει ξενυχτήσει με τις περιπτύξεις, τα πάθη και τους ανολοκλήρωτους έρωτες της Άννας Καρένινα, της Τζέιν Έυρ, της μαντάμ Έμμα Μποβαρί, της Λάρα από το Δόκτωρ Ζιβάγκο και της Σάρα Μάιλς από το Τέλος της σχέσης;

Καλογραμμένο και καλά μελετημένο κείμενο που θα σας συνεπάρει στο ταξίδι των γυναικών της σκοτεινή πλευράς του έγγαμου βίου.

Στα ελληνικά από τον Νάρκισσο το 2008.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is what I would consider to be a good "vacation read." It's salacious, decently written, and entertaining enough but certainly doesn't leave a lasting impression. I am also not convinced about the accuracy of everything contained. My last comment would be my issue with the author's flippant regard for relationships that were clearly coercive (such as enslaved women/their slaveowners) as "affairs" with little interrogation of why that's deeply inappropriate.

[Margareta Perdeleanu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Intr-un final nu am putut ajunge la final si am lasat-o, poate cu alta ocazie s-o continui...

[Julie lit pour les autres · Rating 3 out of 5]

Le bonheur d’être une acheteuse compulsive de livres est de s’exclamer de temps à autre sur la présence d’un ouvrage dans notre bibliothèque. Qu’avais-je en tête quand je l’ai acheté? Qu’est-ce qui a suscité mon intérêt?

Je viens de passer plusieurs jours à lire cette brique de 550 + pages. Elizabeth Abbott raconte avec moult détails (parfois dépassionnés, parfois croustillants) la vie de femmes en marge de l’institution du mariage à travers l’histoire et la littérature. N’entrez pas dans ce livre pour y lire une analyse sociologique : la perspective de l’autrice est d’abord historique. Elle dégage toutefois de ces histoires la mise en évidence des rapports profondément inégaux entre hommes et femmes dans ce type de relations. Par l’entremise d’exemples historiques (comme ceux des geishas, de Marilyn Monroe, d’Eva Braun, de Mme de Maintenon et oui, de Camilla Parker-Bowles), on comprend la fragilité de la position de ces femmes une fois la relation terminée ou mise au grand jour.

Certaines femmes ont assouvi leur soif d’indépendance et de pouvoir par l’entremise de leur position (plusieurs l’ont payé cher), alors que d’autres femmes ont littéralement sacrifié leur vie à l’autel du génie de l’homme qu’elles aimaient (petite note : le peintre Modigliani était vraiment un salaud).

C’est surtout 550 pages d’exemples qui démontrent comment les maîtresses ont été perçues par les hommes comme des marchandises, des pourvoyeuses de plaisir ou des utérus à travers l’histoire. Relations passionnelles, séductions calculées ou ententes monétaires moyennant services sexuels, on en voit de toutes les couleurs. Notons que la présence des épouses est plutôt effacée. À lire par petites doses.

[Socrate · Rating 3 out of 5]

ncepusem să scriu deja cartea, când trei amante au intentat acţiune juridică, ridicând pretenţii finan-ciare la averea amanţilor lor influenţi. După moartea jurnalistului american Charles Kuralt din 1997, Patri-cia Shannon, amanta lui în vârstă de douăzeci şi nouă de ani, a pretins şi chiar a câştigat o parte din averea acestuia. În anul 2000, Grace Louie, fosta amantă a primarului din Toronto, Mei Lastman, a anunţat că acesta era tatăl copiilor ei, Kim şi Todd, care îi şi semănau leit. În 2001, avocata Karin Stanford a câştigat în instanţă pensie alimentară, la doi ani după ce ia născut pastorului Jesse Jackson o fiică, pe Ashley.

Chiar şi preşedinţi de stat şi preoţi cedează dorinţei şi îşi fac amante, deşi şi ei riscă mediatizarea în ziarele de scandal şi în cele mai importante mijloace de comunicare în masă. Preşedintele Dwight D. Ei-senhower a avut o „prietenă” foarte specială, pe englezoaica Kay Sommersby. John Fitzgerald Kennedy a zăbovit alături de multe femei, printre care şi vedetă de cinema Marilyn Monroe. Deşi amploarea acestei poveşti o rivalizează pe cea dintre preşedintele Bill Clinton şi inubliabila stagiară la Casa Albă Monica Lewinski, cel mai lung scandal de acest gen îl are în centru pe prinţul Charles al Angliei. Când am început s-a scriu această carte, prinţul căzuse în dizgraţie. Acum, la câţiva ani distanţă, imaginea sa publică este pe cale de reabilitare, pe măsură ce el şi experţii săi în relaţii publice încearcă s-a reconsidere povestea cu ve- chea lui amantă, Camilla Parker Bowles, înscriind-o în tiparele unui mariaj regal.

[Kathleen McRae · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am not convinced this should be described as a history and I felt discomfort at its one sided descriptions of liasons .The terms Ms Abbott used denote status and until we write history differently we portray women as less and always having to use their sexuality as the only power they have plus depicting men as having urges that are beyond their control and really what it is all about is control not sex

[Eve · Rating 2 out of 5]

In theory it’s seems like a very interesting book but it’s basically a biography of mistresses that adds nothing new. Abbott reduces these women to their affair often quickly dismissing their achievements (does she mention that Maria Callas carried an entire generation love for the opera, or that Simone de Beauvoir ignited the second wave of feminism?).

[Cozy Cottage · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uneven, naughty and interesting, I gave it a high rating for the amount of detail. Some of the women featured I don’t think really were mistresses and she does leave out some who were. Overall gives me hope for the future of mistressing. If you’re interested in the subject, wade on in.

[Steven Gerrard · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book, we take a look at stories about mistresses throughout history.

[Tilly Midgley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Somewhat interesting but very repetitive.

[Aida Saldana Hernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and learned a lot about the history of mistresses.

[Jane99 Salas · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was fine

[Annisa UuU · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tsundoku Neglected Book - 4

[Kayla · Rating 3 out of 5]

i expected a look behind the women, diary entries or personal stories from people who knew them. Answers of why some women chose to be the other. This only offered already existing speculation and some of the women are unproven but once again speculated mistresses. still an interesting read that shows the stigma that has often willfully been embraced rather then seeking the traditional seta of wife, and the unique power that was held by these women who did not have the bounds of marriage to enforce their relationships.

[Giornata_di_sole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Testo molto interessante che che parla dell’amantita’…condizione che rappresenta un punto di vista importante per scoprire in quali modi, diversi dal matrimonio, donne e uomini si relazionano…
L’autrice descrive, con uno stile semplice e mai noioso, le vicende di donne di tutte le epoche e di ogni parte del mondo, di tutte le classi sociali e di ogni razza: aristocratiche o schiave, intellettuali o frivole, maritate infedeli o indomite zitelle…L'unica cosa che hanno in comune è di essere state le "altre": concubine, mantenute, amanti…
Questo libro racconta le loro esperienze e le loro storie, focalizzandosi sulla struttura e sulle caratteristiche delle relazioni extraconiugali nelle diverse culture e in diverse epoche, e sul modo in cui sono state vissute e giudicate, arrivando così a disegnare i vari modi in cui si è declinato storicamente il rapporto uomo-donna.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wow, yet another poorly researched history book. I've encountered so many of them lately that it's starting to make me think that maybe I should start writing my own book; at the very least, I'd be bothered to do more research than these so-called "historians." Some of the more glaring errors include attributing Wellington's famous "publish and be damned" quote to Lord Nelson, and referring to someone getting their "just deserts." I'm becoming increasingly annoyed that I can't seem to find a job in publishing, when the current proofreaders out there are this abysmal. This book aims to be a comprehensive history of mistresses, but in doing that, Abbott clearly neglected to research basic facts. A tome that is long winded and lacking in salacious detail is the sad result.

[Jamie is · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating book arranged by historical period; author's thesis is that the mistress institution is a bellwether for how women are treated in that society as a whole, i.e. in modern society, mistresses are often on more equal economic and social footing with the man. At the same time, she dispels notions held by many that such women must be unhappy with these arrangements. The book is composed entirely of character sketches, numerous women and their relationships are profiled under each historical period in an empathic and entertaining voice. Looking forward to reading her other works on the histories of marriage and celibacy. This is part of a reading theme I am starting about how people construct their lives and how various social institutions have changed over time.

[Kristen Roe · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first stumbled upon this book I thought it was going to be a cohesive group of short stories. I figured in the end with the author giving her take on the lifestyle of mistresses over the centuries. Though the book didn't carry on that way, I would still say the book is a great read. In every short story I was either introduced to new people of the past or given an unique insight on people that I have some prior knowledge of. A lovely twist and change to my usual historical fiction reads. If you are on the fence, I would suggest it is worth the read.

[Hélène · Rating 3 out of 5]

A History of Mistresses is a very pleasant book for it consists of many short stories, eash one for every mistress ( who is mentioned in that book). I found it pretty interesting with many unknown details.It is actually a book of history. Good thing is that if it tires you a little (if you're not a history type of reader) you can leave it and get back to it whenever you want, since you won't be losing the continuity of the book!

[Savannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book over two years ago and it really stays with you. It's amazing how women who lived under such oppression found ways to secure freedom, independence, wealth, and respect.At first glance you think Mistresses were only lucky due to the use of their bodies, but Ms. Abbott proves there is more to these women than exploitation. They were truly feisty, intelligent, and determined individuals.

[Lauren Albert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many reviewers complain about the lack of a thesis or thread to tie together all the separate stories but I didn't find it a problem. The book is the history of mistresses, mostly in Western society, told through brief biographies. Each chapter focuses on a theme--mob molls, mistresses of popes and priests, royal mistresses, etc., concluding with a chapter on mistresses in literature and a chapter on the affect of the 60s on the idea of the mistress. Sad and fun at the same time.

[Rebester · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some amazing, depressing, and fascinating stories in here. Also makes it very clear how different things were even a couple decades ago. I'd recommend it, but certainly not as light reading; if you're female, and have a good sense of your rights, prepare to be disturbed by history's attitudes. That could be true of a lot of books, but it's starkly obvious here.

[Ashley-Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this would be a nice comprehensive text on the history of mistresses, but it was really just a long biographical list of every single famous mistress ever. It got so repetitive that I eventually just gave up. I mean really, among like 300 different women, there will be a lot of overlap! Also, there was some information that I wasn't sure was accurate.

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had a few moments of eye-opening chapters about the lives of some women that were not historically famous due to being margainalized. Their hardships and sacrifices reveal how history has been cruel. Other times in the book, it felt like I was reading the same story over and over. Overall, the book was either a page turner or was skimmed over.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very dense, thorough look at mistresses throughout the ages. There are some fascinating stories in here. I found this book a little too long for my liking, but I fully intend to get a copy because there's great fodder for fiction in some of the stories.