The Polyamory Toolkit: A Guidebook for Polyamorous Relationships

by Dan Williams, Dawn Williams

For nearly two decades Dan and Dawn have navigated their journey in polyamory by being proactive, insightful and analytical. Early on, there was very little information or resources available, so the adventure required them to learn from their mistakes as well as their successes.

Each have multiple partners and have a history of polyamory relationships lasting multiple years. They have put the time and thought into creating a “toolkit” of knowledge others can implement to help their relationships survive and thrive.

Dan and Dawn write in an anecdotal, conversational style that is easy to absorb and use.

Genres: Polyamory, Nonfiction, Relationships, Romance

245 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2019

About the author

Dan and dawn, a lifestyle couple of many years - as well as authors, educators and co-producers of the new annual event, The Power eXchange Summit - bring their diverse backgrounds and experiences to each presentation and workshop they lead. With their blend of training and experience in Sacred Sexuality, BDSM, M/s & energy work, they offer a unique perspective to their audience. Although they have presented hundreds of workshops at dozens and dozens of events over the past 10 years, they continue to bring great enthusiasm and energy to each presentation.

Dan and dawn are the authors of Living M/s: A book for Masters, slaves, and Their Relationships and Sex, Stories, and Power Exchange.

They are also the co-hosts of the Erotic Awakening internet radio show, an educational podcast that explores “all things erotic”; Great Lakes region Master & slave title holders (2010); creators of the Scarlet Sanctuary and Path of the Qadishti (sacred sexuality spaces); featured educators on both Kink Academy and Creative Sexuality; leaders of the respected Leather tribe “House Metta”; and mentioned in a number of books, articles, and other media.

Reviews

[Zyriel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and it will probably go on my short list of books to recommend, depending on the needs of the person I'm talking to. I think this book particularly works well as a reference book more than a cover to cover read. The chapter titles and approaches would make it easy to zoom into a topic you're facing challenges with or want perspective on.

The presentation is "my experience" from the two authors. In most cases they each write up a section to cover the chapter's topic, unless one of them has nothing at all to say on the matter. However, as such, many sections are deeply lacking in content. I would have preferred they be left out, or in some cases bundled with the "Tools" chapters or other chapters to make the content more fleshed out and less like they had to include a chapter on the topic but didn't have much to say.

I am also disappointed in the content of the Couples Privilege and One Penis Policy chapters; both Dan and Dawn demonstrate that they do not possess a comprehensive understanding of these topics and I think they do the reader a disservice with what they do say on these matters.

[Kaylee · Rating 3 out of 5]

We don't have to have an end game. Enjoy your relationships for what they are.

Overall, I enjoyed this and thought it could be helpful. There wasn't much new here with all I've read so far and even hearing from them on the Multiamory podcast. I haven't listened to Dan and Dawn Williams' podcast Erotic Awakening as I don't listen to much these days.

Regardless, I liked the way this was laid out as far as being more of "here's some tips that we've learned over the years" as opposed to being rules or lists or even a Q&A case. Dan and Dawn lay out their personal feelings and experiences which is great in most cases. Sometimes, however, one partner had so little to say about a subject that it felt like they just needed to insert something for the sake of saying something. The way they talk about Couples Privilege makes it sound like they don't actually know what is about... It was also very distracting how there's a subject brought up and, explaining said subject they have a (discussed elsewhere in this book)... There were a few occasions where it really would've benefited from expressing in that parenthetical a description by what was meant, even if brief and then explaining further later on.

I really should have addressed this first but... All. The. Typos. I cannot believe how many typos there are throughout this book. Maybe it was the eBook version I had but... Damn. It was so bad that it completely took me out of this by saying things like "here" instead of "her" and... Well, honestly, there were too many for me to keep track of without me being able to take in the book at all and getting annoyed af, so I had to force myself to ignore and move on whenever possible.

There were some moments that I was appreciative of like, taking things too personally, a place to be able to be true to yourself and speak freely, and even some flirting advice as well as other reminders. Maybe I'll listen to their podcast or read something else by them in the future (so long as there are better editors!) but we'll see... Definitely worth picking this up especially if you're newer to polyamory/non-monogamous relationships.

Remember that everyone is working from their own filters, their own baggage, and their own stories. You included.

[Jenni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical book with tools you can use when you are struggling or new to polyam. Fills in the need for books that aren't just polyamory 101, this is like a 201 book. I'll definitely be referring to this in the future.

[Johnny Jackhammer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is more than a Polyamory Toolkit . . . it is a RELATIONSHIP toolkit! It's written in an accessible, conversational style between Dan and dawn regarding their life and experience as a polyamorous couple.

It is designed in a way that's easy for readers to jump to a particular topic or challenge. The advice and tools in this book are as valuable for people new to poly as for those who have lived this way for a long time.

[Aoife Birch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a fantastic resource when my husband and I were first exploring polyamory. This was several years ago, now, and this book was so damn helpful for us in learning to communicate in ways that each other can understand. We were definitely possessively monogamous prior to being polyamorous, and this book was a HUGE help to the both of us. Highly recommended.

[Paul Reinhardt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Useful Tools, Insightful Stories

The 25 tools are useful for any relationship. Personal stories are very helpful for people interested in polyamory. Recommend. Enjoy.