On Violence

On Series (Little Books, Big Ideas)

by Natasha Stott Despoja

Why is violence against women endemic, and how do we stop it?

Every two minutes, police are called to a family violence matter. Every week, a woman is killed by a current or former partner. This is Australia's national emergency. Violence against women is preventable. It is not an inevitable part of the human condition. It's time to create a new normal. It is time to stop the slaughter in our suburbs.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Essays, Audiobook, Australia, Politics

200 pages, Paperback

Published March 5, 2019

Reviews

[Tess · Rating 5 out of 5]

God, this essay made me so angry. I underlined almost every second line. I will now proceed to lend this to every person I know - particularly the men in my life who say they feel 'undereducated' on the subject, and don't know where to start.

Stott Despoja's refreshingly intersectional take on the national epidemic that is violence against women in Australia is heartbreaking but important. With discussions ranging from how stereotyped gender roles affect children, to a heartbreaking list of statistics and commentary on Destroy The Joint's 'Counting Dead Women' initiative, this is a must read for any Australian looking to become better informed about this horrific national emergency.

[Taryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is, unfortunately, a very timely read. Men's violence against women is a huge issue in Australia. In 2019, 25 women have been murdered, majority of whom were murdered by men, a large number by a current or former partner. Just yesterday news broke of the murder of Courtney Herron, a homeless woman who struggled with drug addiction and mental health issues. Overnight, a man was charged with her murder & is due to face court later today.

In On Violence, Natasha Stott Despoja thoroughly examines the issue of men's violence against women in Australia, and outlines realistic, preventative measures to stop this violence. Despoja suggests harsher laws for offenders, and reasons that to stop violence against women, we need to change men's attitude towards women. Violence against women is a social issue as much as it is a criminal one-- if we stopped the attitudes (misogyny and toxic masculinity) that allow for violence against women to happen, we would exponentially decrease the number of women murdered at the hands of men in this country.

Australia needs to have an open and honest conversation about this topic. Stop asking "but what about men who are murdered?" Statistics show that most men are murdered by other men. THE ISSUE IS MEN. Women cannot be the only people doing the work. Men: when you hear your mates say misogynistic shit or share sexist posts on social media, call it out. Introducing harsher penalties for offenders will do no good if we don't deal with the root of the problem: misogyny and toxic masculinity.

[Darren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Devastatingly thought provoking. Stott Despoja brings a new vigour to the question of why we haven’t solved the domestic abuse/violence problem in our country and it makes me ashamed. Every man should read it, but won’t.

[Elisabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very short book outlining the stats on Violence, how perpetrators are usually men and victims by large women who know the men. Talks about the need to challenge the norms and fight the acceptability of any sort of aggression and violence, including cat calling, and the way we treat children depending on their gender. Also some horrible stories of how children and women are murdered from control, domestic abuse etc.

[Teresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great essay on the current state of domestic violence in Australia. But, while she rightly calls out the high(er) rates of domestic violence for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women, and women with a disability, she skates over the specific issues faced by trans women. A great little book for accessing those (depressing) facts about domestic violence for anyone who needs them, and a broader look at the connection between disrespect for women from cradle to grave, and domestic violence.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A concise overview of key issues in primary prevention of violence against women, written in an Australian context.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re a woman the issues will be familiar. If you’re a man and you haven’t really thought about the issues you might find this enlightening. There’s “food for thought” and for discussion. The subject is depressing but if we all do our bit then there’s hope for positive change.

[Donna Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short essay written in 2019 as part of the Little Books, Big Ideas series. This remains an extremely important read. I miss Natasha in our political sphere but know what amazing work she has done in the area of domestic violence yet there is still so much more to do.

[M · Rating 2 out of 5]

Made some good points, however, not using trans-inclusive pronouns while talking about the general population is exactly the kind of subtle exclusion this text seeks to condemn.

I expected more from a feminist perspective on Australian gender equality.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

On Violence is a timely discussion of the issues surrounding violence against women and children, by former Australian Democrats Senator Natasha Stott Despoja AO, who at the time of writing was the chairperson of Our Watch, the (Australian) national organisation to Prevent Violence Against Women and their Children. She has worked as a member of the Committee on Elimination of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) since 2020.

Stott Despoja expands on the gendered nature of sexual and domestic violence in Australia and the way that the media and entrenched social norms continue to reinforce a culture that minimises, ignores or mischaracterises violence against women.

"It is a fact that the biggest risk [factor] for becoming a victim of sexual assault or domestic or family violence is being a woman." (p.14-15)

She also addresses common but unhelpful responses to discussions of gendered violence, under the "Not all Men" banner and the whataboutism-based argument that a (proportionately tiny) number of men are also subjected to sexual and domestic violence.

"Both sexes are more likely to experience violence from men, and by 'more likely' I mean 95 per cent - that's the percentage of men and women in a 2016 ABCS report who identified the perpetrator of violence against them as male." (p.21)

Stott Despoja argues cogently that we all bear the responsibility for fostering the cultural and societal change that is needed to reduce the incidence and impact of gendered violence.

"We can choose a future where women live free from violence. We can eliminate violence against women and children. But to do so requires a conscious and critical conversation about gender relationships, power, and what builds and changes culture. This is 'primary prevention': stopping violence before it starts." (p.24)

The publication of On Violence pre-dates the most recent wave of anti-violence activism, surrounding the appointment of Grace Tame as Australian of the Year in 2020, an historic rape complaint against a sitting federal Attorney-General and the highly-publicised trial of a man accused of raping a colleague within Australia's Parliament House. However, the book's central message remains as relevant as ever, and issues to which Stott Despoja alludes, including the prevalence of victim-blaming, the vilification of women who speak out publicly about domestic and sexual violence and the sense that the reputation and "potential" of accused perpetrators is valued above the expectation that victim-survivors may have for justice, are only reinforced by subsequent events.

On Violence is a short and punchy read for those interested in understanding the way that cultural and societal norms feed the attitudes - in both perpetrators, bystanders, the media and the wider community - that underpin Australia's dark "tradition" of underplaying violence against women and their children.

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every time I read another of these "Little Books on Big Ideas", I am compelled to take more and more action in my community.

"On Violence" is a rallying cry for abused women and children every where. It highlights the abhorrent crimes of perpetrators, particularly in Australia, directed towards the innocent women and children in their lives.

For most women who are attacked violently, they know the perpetrator. It is their partner/grandfather/stepfather/father/brother/uncle/cousin/friend/housemate. Men who know these women intimately and lash out violently when their authority is challenged.

Stott Despoja is an absolute warhammer in this drive for social and cultural change. Violence against women isn't random, it isn't coming from left of field. It stems from an attitude perpetuating society that women are inferior and they should never challenge a man's role in the world.

This is essential reading for anyone wishing to educate themselves on how violence and crimes of a sexual nature affect women daily. 1 in 3 women have experienced sexual assault in some form. This is unacceptable. The needs and desires of men are made a priority over the respect and safety of women. This has gone on too long.

We see this especially when victim shaming questions are posed: "What was she doing there?", "What was she wearing?", "Did she go home with him?". These questions are completely irrelevant. We don't ask what the man was doing there, what he was wearing, and why he went home with her. The woman did not consent, therefore, the man is committing a crime.

I will now be forever unapologetic towards men who want to continue stereotyping, sexualising, demonising, and committing violent acts towards women. Even something as small as calling a woman a bitch is no longer tolerable in my eyes. You may say I'm getting too sensitive. That I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.

Words matter. Hatred matters. If you continue to encourage these little acts of disrespect, it escalates into violence and rape, and can even affect any children who may be in the picture. Too often we have seen bitter and resentful fathers murder their children for nothing more than to spite the mother. "Oh but he was heartbroken, she took his kids away!" Yeah, well, he's now killed them. That kind of hatred was never about losing the kids. It was about losing control.

If I continue to rant about this issue, I'll make myself angry and I don't want to give perpetrators that satisfaction. Just know that I am no longer even mildly tolerating offensive behaviour towards anyone, especially women.

Not on my watch.

[Nigel Fortescue · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have just finished reading a short but poignant book by Natasha Stott Despoja called On Violence. It sits in the Little Books on Big Ideas series and argues that the global pandemic of violence against women and girls is possible to eliminate. The solution she articulates is for the whole of our society to produce cultural change by speaking out against sexism, gender inequality and violence. Government, organisations and individual need to act. Essentially, if we all get on board against it, it will disappear. Stott Despoja is right but her solution is also impossible.

Earlier in the book, we are reminded that the World Health Organisation states that violence against women ‘is not an intractable part of the human condition’ but the product of complex, yet modifiable social and environmental factors’.

All this makes me want to weep. The book wants humans to speaks out and act but despite acknowledging the problem with this solution the author (nor the WHO) will label the real issue: the human heart. Stott Despoja and others who have written on domestic violence are trying their hardest to hold onto the intrinsic goodness of humanity but to do so is to try and hold a cloud in your hand.

At some point, those who commentate on the world we live in are going to have to acknowledge what the Bible has been teaching for thousands of years:
“There is no-one righteous, not even one; there is no-one who understands; there is no- one who seeks God.” (Romans 3:10-11)

Domestic Violence began in Genesis 4 and there are examples littered through the history of the world since then. The answer to it all is complex and multifaceted to be sure, but it has to begin with new hearts and minds that are only available through the supernatural power of the Spirit of God and the work of Jesus Christ in our lives. Only Jesus can truly change hearts. Only the Spirit can truly reshape lives to be full of peace and self-control.

Our world, the violent in the world and everyone else, needs Jesus.

That’s not to say that Christians are never guilty of domestic violence. Tragically, some Christian are aggressive and violent towards their family. It’s unacceptable. It’s ungodly. It’s horrific. It’s got to stop.

Even Christians need to look again at Jesus and seek the transforming power of the Spirit to shape and remake us. There is no other permanent solution.

[Billie Byron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despoja is unapologetic in calling for changes in how society has, for the most part, turned a blind eye to these issues. We must begin with respect and equality for all children, as the family is the matrix in which one learns about equality and the fear of scapegoating or violence. The book talks about the issue of promoting systemic designated family role behaviours, the lack of diversity in families, the perpetrator the victim the apathetic enabler the golden child, the clown, the high achiever, the lost child, the family scapegoat, the victim, the mentally ill one, being able to illustrate to children their worth as members of humanity, rather than an identity structured around Rigid family systems with patterns of violence or abuse or scapegoating is an importance in actively changing the narrative around violence through primary prevention strategies.
from victim blaming and shaming the family scapegoat to the reluctance to educate Australia’s youth in a meaningful way about the danger of limiting family patterns, the phenomenon of a bullying parent where human diversity is denied and role expectancies implicitly shape the child, adult persons identity in limiting and discrimative ways, trapping us all in a trap a triangle of victim-perpetrator-apathetic enabler. The need for respectful relationships to acknowledgment of the violence against family scapegoat children as being at epidemic proportions, although hidden is historically the framework and foundation of violence. The call to arms to educate children and people about the bullying within families and to foster emotional awareness and help them to stand up for themselves, go beyond the maladaptive emotional reaction to understand long-term the affective roots of violence are a byproduct of the bigger family scapegoat system. I agree with Despoja the work begins in the classroom.

[Tayla Collier · Rating 5 out of 5]

A severely important read for all, I would recommend anyone considering it to pick up this short collection of intelligent and incredible well researched pieces by Natasha Scott Despoja.

So often we are faced with tragic reminders of the prevalence of domestic violence against women and their children in our community. Equally often myself and many others wonder what route there could possibly be out of this complex, layered and convoluted state of tragedy.

Natasha Scott Despoja presents a solution through actionable prevention plans in our communities. With an admirable depth of knowledge and consideration of the multifaceted challenges in prevention efforts. Shedding light on the incredible work of many organisations including Our Watch. To which, all profits of this book are donated.

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Former politician Stott Despoja is now the Chair of the Board of ‘Our Watch’, the national foundation to prevent violence against women and children. In this essay she outlines the horrific statistics surrounding domestic violence in Australia – that on average the police are called to a domestic violence incident every two minutes and that every week a woman is murdered by a partner or ex-partner. Stott Despoja writes with such clarity and conviction this was a good read on an unpleasant issue. She outlines a number of ways that this trend can be reversed, starting with prevention through educational programs. It’s a stark reminder of the difficulties involved in changing cultural practices, but insists that it isn’t impossible.

[Rhys · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought that this book would explore violence generally, but is concerned with misogynistic violence. I was shocked and appalled to find police in my street following a neighbor of mine was killed in a murder-suicide last year, so I'm acutely aware how serious this is. Unfortunately this piece has no profound, ground breaking solution and is largely indistinguishable from all outcries to stop this scurge. Arguably Natasha sees solution in call out culture, perhaps this does help? I would really like to see more thorough theory and policy comparison from a politician, regardless of the brevity and accessibility of the format.

[Cesc · Rating 3 out of 5]

A well researched and well intentioned essay, but one that doesn’t really bring anything new to the table. I’m sure the target audience, and the people who would be most likely to read it, already know everything Stott Despoja writes about. I also found it to be a bit 3rd wave feminism-y, in that it doesn’t use very inclusive language, isn’t particularly intersectional, and applauds JK Rowling for being a good feminist??

[Belinda Badman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve had this sitting in my pile to read for months now. I was finally prompted to pick it up after a particularly horrific DV incident in a neighbouring suburb.
Well researched and well written it didn’t have the one thing that I was looking for though - and that is an easy solution to the problem, because unfortunately there isn’t one.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

An easy five stars. I’d recommend this essay to anyone, whether you’re familiar with the horrors of the violence against women epidemic, or you’re someone who feels undereducated on the topic and wants to start somewhere. It’s a short, succinct, easy to read essay that certainly contains multitudes.

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really accessible, albeit harrowing read about Australia’s national emergency: violence against women and what’s required to challenge the attitudes and behaviours, structures, norms and practices that drive this violence.

[Tempy · Rating 4 out of 5]

How frightening and disheartening that a book about the violence epidemic in Australia written five years ago is still reflecting our current reality. Some things are changing but it is such an uphill battle.

[Avril · Rating 5 out of 5]

Horrifying, but also encouraging.

[Belinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

We just can not let our girls grow up in a country with these horrendous domestic violence numbers.

[Carol Gaston · Rating 5 out of 5]

This men's business.....

[Helena · Rating 5 out of 5]

It made me mad and it made me cry and it made me hopeful. This is a well written book and it is a quick read so it is very accessible.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes, yes, yes. Everyone should read this.

[Sally Piper · Rating 5 out of 5]

A concise reminder of all the reasons why as a society we need to address domestic violence immediately.

[Fleur · Rating 5 out of 5]

Humbling and a must read.

[Toni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reasoned and sensible, this little book is powerful. If you at all care about the lives of women and how we can prevent violence against women, please read this.

[Kate Walton · Rating 3 out of 5]

A tiny book in a series from Australian figures. Sadly, it didn't bring anything new to the table for who its target audience presumably was (well-read progressive folk).