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Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend
Men, jobs, children, personal crises, irreconcilable social gaps—these are just a few of the strange and confusing reasons which may cause a female friendship to end. No matter the cause, the breakup of a female friendship leaves a woman devastated and asking herself difficult questions. Was someone to blame? Is the friendship worth fighting for? How can I prevent this from ever happening again? Even more upsetting is that women suffering from broken friendships often have no one to confide in; while the loss of a romantic partner garners sympathy among peers, discussing the loss of a platonic friend is often impossible without making other friends jealous or uncomfortable. Written by journalist and psychologist Irene Levine, Ph.D., Best Friends Forever is an uplifting and heroically honest book for abandoned friends seeking solace. Dr. Levine draws from the personal testimonials of thousands of women to provide anecdotes and groundbreaking solutions to these complicated situations. Offering tools for personal assessment, case stories, and actionable advice for saving, ending, or re-evaluating a relationship, Levine shows that breakups are sometimes inevitable. Although the dissolution of female friendships can be difficult, Best Friends Forever teaches women to stop blaming themselves and probing the wounds, and that the sad experience of a broken friendship can make them stronger people, and more able to handle their relationships with wisdom.
261 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2009
68 people are currently reading
671 people want to read
About the author
Irene S. Levine
5 books5 followersIrene S. Levine, Ph.D., is a journalist, psychologist, and professor at the New York University School of Medicine. She writes frequently for magazines and newspapers such as, Health, Ladies Home Journal, Readers Digest, Self, and Better Homes and Gardens. As the Friendship Doctor, she is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and also created The Friendship Blog. She lives in New York, and is available for interviews and media appearances.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
March 30, 2011
Dr. Levine's book is a treasure. The author truly understands the depth and meaning of female friendship. Her book validates and normalizes the feelings of confusion, disappointment, shame, anger, pain and loss when a female friendship ends, especially without explanation.
I have read other books on this subject which trivialize and stereotype female friendships, summing up endings as just a feeling of puzzlement when a shopping companion finds another gal pal with whom to browse the mall. This is not that kind of book.
Dr. Levine appreciates the devastation that a woman can feel when a close friendship of many years fails to be a "BFF" (Best Friends Forever). She offers empathy and helpful advice to work through the hurt, accept the loss, and move on to build new friendships.
I recommend this book to all women on the planet, who have---or will--experience the loss of a close female friend.
I have read other books on this subject which trivialize and stereotype female friendships, summing up endings as just a feeling of puzzlement when a shopping companion finds another gal pal with whom to browse the mall. This is not that kind of book.
Dr. Levine appreciates the devastation that a woman can feel when a close friendship of many years fails to be a "BFF" (Best Friends Forever). She offers empathy and helpful advice to work through the hurt, accept the loss, and move on to build new friendships.
I recommend this book to all women on the planet, who have---or will--experience the loss of a close female friend.
May 27, 2010
I thought that this book was rather helpful in addressing some of the nitty gritty details in a friendship without getting too personal. Her choice of words are pretty good.
However, as things should be, some parts of the book made me sad. It's like a low mood thingy, but of course it should. It's speaking of toxic friendships and all.. it shouldn't induce euphoric feelings, right?
And there's the part about friendship audit. I sorta skimmed over it because I dont do that check and balance thing believe it or not. Maybe I should. But I read there was Ben Franklin's moral algebra and this one is summat like it.
Okay. I liked her very recent references as well as book recommendations. I think current research cited is really impressive.
Did it help me? Yes, a bit. I can't gauge how much it's helped, but I guess it gave me the feeling that I am not alone in this. The sense of comfort and the tips on having a healthier friendship are quite indispensable.
However, as things should be, some parts of the book made me sad. It's like a low mood thingy, but of course it should. It's speaking of toxic friendships and all.. it shouldn't induce euphoric feelings, right?
And there's the part about friendship audit. I sorta skimmed over it because I dont do that check and balance thing believe it or not. Maybe I should. But I read there was Ben Franklin's moral algebra and this one is summat like it.
Okay. I liked her very recent references as well as book recommendations. I think current research cited is really impressive.
Did it help me? Yes, a bit. I can't gauge how much it's helped, but I guess it gave me the feeling that I am not alone in this. The sense of comfort and the tips on having a healthier friendship are quite indispensable.
January 3, 2015
(FULL DISCLOSURE: I know the author!)
As the year winds down and we make lists (of course checking them twice), don't we also think about our friends in a slightly different light: is this a gift friend? a card friend? an invite over for eggnog friend? can I ignore them this year? and a multitude of other variations. Or am I the only one?
The reality is, many of us are, or have been, friends in unequal relationships that we still include under the rubric BFF. Then, when it goes south, we feel responsible and guilty and well, it's not necessary. It's good to get away from those toxic relationships, and this book can tell you how (and how to spot one). It would have added to the book for her to discuss the various gradations of friendship - IMVHO we leap all to quickly to the word "friend" when what we mean is "colleague" or "acquaintance."
I'd love to see a follow-up on male/female friendships, but I suspect that might be a generational thing; my mother doesn't have any males in her life that aren't family or "the husband of...".
As the year winds down and we make lists (of course checking them twice), don't we also think about our friends in a slightly different light: is this a gift friend? a card friend? an invite over for eggnog friend? can I ignore them this year? and a multitude of other variations. Or am I the only one?
The reality is, many of us are, or have been, friends in unequal relationships that we still include under the rubric BFF. Then, when it goes south, we feel responsible and guilty and well, it's not necessary. It's good to get away from those toxic relationships, and this book can tell you how (and how to spot one). It would have added to the book for her to discuss the various gradations of friendship - IMVHO we leap all to quickly to the word "friend" when what we mean is "colleague" or "acquaintance."
I'd love to see a follow-up on male/female friendships, but I suspect that might be a generational thing; my mother doesn't have any males in her life that aren't family or "the husband of...".
October 4, 2010
Somewhat helpful to know others have gone through similar painful experiences -- I'm not crazy or overreacting!
July 25, 2025
I was interested to see why this was not more highly rated. I wouldn't give it a full four stars but I'd expect it higher than the 3.7. I think, mostly, I found this book COMFORTING. I had some major shakeups in the past couple of years, friendshipwise, and I am still shaken from them. I really appreciated her talking about something that people don't talk much about. I appreciate her framing breakups as breakups and describing the profound loss and emotional impact that it has, which can be years. Some of it is of course contradictory (since there are so many causes for friendships breaking up) like "work harder" and "let go." But I think the point that I am not alone, that by definition 2 people are on different life trajectories, and all the different ways that they can become disconnected, and her over and over descriptions of the ways that it happens and how it can be so jarring and wrenching and painful sometimes. And also such a relief sometimes to let it go. And how like cleaning a closet, making way for better, stronger, more balanced relationships. I found it so comforting to read all the different iterations of deep, close, friendships falling apart. I found many of the descriptions of the niggling feelings about what is not working very relatable. I found so much in this book that made me feel better.
Is it an objectively 4 star book? I cannot say. Did I come across it when I needed it, and did it give me tremendous comfort? Yes. Do I now feel less alone, and like part of a sisterhood of wise women who have all gone through this and offered me lots of insight and perspective? Yes. Do I have a more mature understanding of friendship breakups now? Yes. This is what I wanted and needed.
The book is from 2009. Get ready to read a lot about IMs and MySpace. I found the info boxes annoying, distracting, and patronizing. Except for a few that I felt were very good.
I'm glad I read this. It gave me a lot of validation of my pain and also strengthened me that changing friendships are part of life. I feel comforted and I feel like I can understand the phenomenon in a broader perspective than I could when I was just in my own pain about it.
Is it an objectively 4 star book? I cannot say. Did I come across it when I needed it, and did it give me tremendous comfort? Yes. Do I now feel less alone, and like part of a sisterhood of wise women who have all gone through this and offered me lots of insight and perspective? Yes. Do I have a more mature understanding of friendship breakups now? Yes. This is what I wanted and needed.
The book is from 2009. Get ready to read a lot about IMs and MySpace. I found the info boxes annoying, distracting, and patronizing. Except for a few that I felt were very good.
I'm glad I read this. It gave me a lot of validation of my pain and also strengthened me that changing friendships are part of life. I feel comforted and I feel like I can understand the phenomenon in a broader perspective than I could when I was just in my own pain about it.
May 23, 2012
So I read this little book in 2 days, which is fast for me.
I thought it was fascinating and fabulous! I'm not certain that every woman needs to read it, but it was very helpful to me right now.
The author talks a lot about how everyone thinks that friendships, and especially really tight, close friendships, should last forever, should be totally static. Although the exact opposite is in fact true. Most friendships are very fluid and dynamic and not only change a lot over time, but routinely dissolve completely. She goes into the hows and whys, and most of the time, it's ugly stuff. Jealousy and envy are two of the biggest friendship killers. "Jealousy is an attitude of possessiveness when someone feels that a valued relationship is threatened. If your friend is possessive, she can't stand the thought of you having any other friends and wants you to spend all your time with her. Envy is a broader concept that can include coveting another person's characteristics or possessions. If your friend is envious of you, she is constantly comparing herself to you along material and non-material dimensions."
These two things, along with insecurity, cause people to do really hurtful things to their closest friends, ruining friendships and breaking bonds.
The fortunate part, is that you can heal and move on and you will most likely be in a better position and have healthier relationships despite these things. You will NOT probably be friends with that person again. But that's okay. :)
She does list things that you would want to do to be a good friend, but they are common-sense, and things that most people either do, because it's a part of them, or don't do, because they are socially inept in that way.
A great quote from it: "I feel like I have the power to choose my friends, not have them choose me; I deserve better."
I thought it was fascinating and fabulous! I'm not certain that every woman needs to read it, but it was very helpful to me right now.
The author talks a lot about how everyone thinks that friendships, and especially really tight, close friendships, should last forever, should be totally static. Although the exact opposite is in fact true. Most friendships are very fluid and dynamic and not only change a lot over time, but routinely dissolve completely. She goes into the hows and whys, and most of the time, it's ugly stuff. Jealousy and envy are two of the biggest friendship killers. "Jealousy is an attitude of possessiveness when someone feels that a valued relationship is threatened. If your friend is possessive, she can't stand the thought of you having any other friends and wants you to spend all your time with her. Envy is a broader concept that can include coveting another person's characteristics or possessions. If your friend is envious of you, she is constantly comparing herself to you along material and non-material dimensions."
These two things, along with insecurity, cause people to do really hurtful things to their closest friends, ruining friendships and breaking bonds.
The fortunate part, is that you can heal and move on and you will most likely be in a better position and have healthier relationships despite these things. You will NOT probably be friends with that person again. But that's okay. :)
She does list things that you would want to do to be a good friend, but they are common-sense, and things that most people either do, because it's a part of them, or don't do, because they are socially inept in that way.
A great quote from it: "I feel like I have the power to choose my friends, not have them choose me; I deserve better."
February 8, 2012
Another one of those subjects no one talks about. Is it wrong to want to let go of a friendship? How do you know you're in a toxic one? How do you relieve yourself and the other person of toxicity without being an asshole?
Irene Levine doesn't claim to have all the answers, but she surveyed vast amounts of women from all age and social groups and found some common themes. She assesses the female need for intimate relationships that are not romantic, helps you to identify whether a relationship is healthy or unhealthy for you, and provides some insight into how others have dealt with those once exciting but now tedious friendships.
Having gone through this recently, being on the jilter side of a best friend breakup, this book helped me come to terms with my decision to terminate the relationship, and not blame myself for leaving someone behind who wasn't good for me, nor I for her. So many friendships have so many different circumstances and reasons for splitting. It was strangely comforting to see that better and worse things have happened to other people, but ultimately each experience led to greater understanding of who they are, what they should and should not expect from future friends, and what they themselves should improve upon.
Four stars because I feel like it could've gotten a lot deeper than it did. Nevertheless, it was a great read, and I highly recommend it to anyone experiencing the loss of a close friendship.
Irene Levine doesn't claim to have all the answers, but she surveyed vast amounts of women from all age and social groups and found some common themes. She assesses the female need for intimate relationships that are not romantic, helps you to identify whether a relationship is healthy or unhealthy for you, and provides some insight into how others have dealt with those once exciting but now tedious friendships.
Having gone through this recently, being on the jilter side of a best friend breakup, this book helped me come to terms with my decision to terminate the relationship, and not blame myself for leaving someone behind who wasn't good for me, nor I for her. So many friendships have so many different circumstances and reasons for splitting. It was strangely comforting to see that better and worse things have happened to other people, but ultimately each experience led to greater understanding of who they are, what they should and should not expect from future friends, and what they themselves should improve upon.
Four stars because I feel like it could've gotten a lot deeper than it did. Nevertheless, it was a great read, and I highly recommend it to anyone experiencing the loss of a close friendship.
April 15, 2010
Most of it was fairly simplistic. There was a good list of ways to identify a toxic friendship that comprised one page out of the 200+ here. I was hoping for more help in dealing with extracting myself from a toxic friendship.
And there was a decent reminder of things that you need to do in order to be a good friend, and ways that you can look at friendship that might allow you to find new friends in different, unexpected places. Mostly, however, it seemed like it was pandering to the broken-hearted dumpee who thinks she did nothing wrong.
And there was a decent reminder of things that you need to do in order to be a good friend, and ways that you can look at friendship that might allow you to find new friends in different, unexpected places. Mostly, however, it seemed like it was pandering to the broken-hearted dumpee who thinks she did nothing wrong.
July 12, 2014
I read this book twice, once 10 months ago when I was not sure if my BFF was on the same wavelength as me anymore and just now when I knew for sure we were not. Very helpful the second time around, it helped me clarify the niggles I had in my mind about the health of the relationship and how to heal and move forward.
February 24, 2016
This was a great age. I'm at a point in life that comes with a lot of friendship transition. This book was a helpful reminder that I'm not alone and gave strategies to navigate through it. Very quick read. Although this book is written with the audience of women, it could be a great read for many men.
April 22, 2020
Book really helpful in coping with loss of my best friend. My situation occurred many years ago, however the data, presentation, examples, story lines nonetheless hit home for me. 10/10 would recommend for anyone needing additional support to overcome their grief/ anger due to loss of a best friend.
October 7, 2010
The book's main point is that friendships don't last forever and has sections devoted on how to navigate the changing nature of women's friendships. The parts I found useful were how to keep and maintain your friendships and ways to reconnect with people you used to be friends with.
August 29, 2021
SO GOOD! Obviously, I just went through a breakup with my best friend, and this book proved to be the antidote for all of the thoughts and feelings that come in the aftermath. Not only did this book help me to heal, I feel like it launched me into a new level of wisdom and maturity about life as an adult. Reading all of the stories about female friendships breaking up made me realize just how complicated and fragile they are - which means I'm not a loser or somehow unworthy of friends because it happened to me (even if I do have things to work on - which this book also helped me to clarify).
The only negative about this book is that the author is extremely repetitive, so about halfway through I found myself skimming, which I never like to do.
Highly recommend this book for all women!
The only negative about this book is that the author is extremely repetitive, so about halfway through I found myself skimming, which I never like to do.
Highly recommend this book for all women!
December 5, 2023
This book is a little dated (find new friends on MySpace!) BUT it has a lot of great information. I’ve been struggling for the past few months, and it was really comforting to read about others going through similar situations. Even more important, it offered an array of ideas of how to move forward, including pros and cons of each option. I feel like this book helped me find my footing in a difficult situation, and let me know that I wasn’t alone.
We don’t talk about friendship breakups enough, which can make for a really confusing time when it happens. I would love to read a more up to date version of this book, but I appreciate that this exists ❤️
We don’t talk about friendship breakups enough, which can make for a really confusing time when it happens. I would love to read a more up to date version of this book, but I appreciate that this exists ❤️
April 30, 2012
I read a newspaper article that referred to this book, and so I decided to pick it up. Female friendship and the concept of female friendship has always fascinated me. This book is a little obvious and a little self-helpy, but it's written by a psychologist and she conducted her research by surveying 1,500 women and finding out about their friend break ups. I shook my head a couple of times because some of the information was really obvious, but at the same time, sometimes it's good to have obvious things pointed out to you.
I read this book basically in one sitting, because I found the information in it really interesting. We all have myths about friendships, and it turns out that lots of them just end when we don't expect them to.
There was also a chapter on toxic friendships and how to break up with a friend, or find new friends.
A lot of food for thought in this book, and I found myself thinking about my friendships, past friendships and how to be a good friend.
Really glad I read this one.
I read this book basically in one sitting, because I found the information in it really interesting. We all have myths about friendships, and it turns out that lots of them just end when we don't expect them to.
There was also a chapter on toxic friendships and how to break up with a friend, or find new friends.
A lot of food for thought in this book, and I found myself thinking about my friendships, past friendships and how to be a good friend.
Really glad I read this one.
August 21, 2014
As a 39-year-old woman with friends from various facets of my life, including different cities I've lived in, I have been pondering friendships as of late. Some friends I met only last year while others date back to grade school. What are the qualities of a good friend? Why do some friendships last while others fail? How can you remain in touch despite geographic and lifestyle barriers? Irene's book helped me learn that it's okay when a friend slips out of my life. This is -- to put it simply -- life. Some friends don't fit the next phase we are entering while others -- who are no doubt savvy at keeping in touch -- will ride the waves with us.
February 18, 2015
I read this as part of a group meeting/discussion on shame and relationships. I found it overly simplistic, and the "insights" it draws seemed really obvious to me. Like everyone, I have lost some "best forever" friends, but this gave me no new insight or self-discovery that I hadn't already found. Overall the whole thing mostly made me feel sad and gross.
(Some of the stories and examples were heart-wrenching and full of emotion; I wouldn't mind just... reading a personal account from the people involved, hearing their feelings firsthand, as narratives with no commentary. But that would be a different book.)
(Some of the stories and examples were heart-wrenching and full of emotion; I wouldn't mind just... reading a personal account from the people involved, hearing their feelings firsthand, as narratives with no commentary. But that would be a different book.)
July 21, 2010
This was a good read -- while I haven't broken up with my BFF(s) and have no intention of doing so, it was quite interesting to read about the dynamics of female friendships, bffs, frenemies, toxic friendships and friendship drift, along with many good suggestions for doing friendship inventories and encouragement to put as much work into quality friendships as one would into one's romantic relationships. There's a lot of sound wisdom in this book and I'd recommend it to all of my girlfriends interested in growing in and avoiding the pitfalls that can crop up in female friendships.
September 6, 2014
Did not meet my expectations. This is a very basic account of friendships and why they fall apart. Though Levine collected stories from many women for this book, none of the gained "insights" seem anything but obvious. The most interesting part is the description of real-life friendships.
I'll save you the $10 and give you the takeaway right here: female friendships are never meant to last forever. The ones that do are anomalies. So stop obsessing about why you're splitting with your BFF and start analyzing what went wrong and if you can learn from how YOU acted in the relationship.
I'll save you the $10 and give you the takeaway right here: female friendships are never meant to last forever. The ones that do are anomalies. So stop obsessing about why you're splitting with your BFF and start analyzing what went wrong and if you can learn from how YOU acted in the relationship.
September 25, 2009
Two things I realized while reading this book. 1) I miss having a girl BFF--I haven't had one since a particularly bad "breakup" in college. Haven't really trusted a woman since. 2) My ex-boyfriend is such a girl. He had about 9/10 of the "girl behaviors" of friendship breakups in this book! Too funny. I knew there was a reason I'd never marry that man... ;) I'm sure I'll post about it on Library Gremlin in detail.
May 22, 2013
This book was excellent and just what I was needing. It talks about the grief that women experience when their close friendships end, and elaborates on the different reasons that friendships can end. I felt for the first time like there really were people who understood what I was feeling, and I appreciated the advice that the author (a therapist) gave on either ending or trying to mend a relationship.
November 2, 2010
The only other book I've read on this subject matter was "The Friend That Got Away" which was an excellent collection of essays, but not as instructive, helpful and comforting as this book. It assured me that female friendship has seasons and unfortunately, they do often expire. However, it still remained positive and encouraging about the benefits of having girlfriends.
September 5, 2011
Revelations abounded while making my way through this book. Definitely recommend. Fabulous insights as to how we approach all relationships, not just friendships and not just female friendships. This definitely helped me through a rough patch, but it also helped me understand some other life situations and how to work on resolving them.
November 10, 2019
It's one of those topics that people don't write about. This book is good at giving you some kind of perspective on friendships you make and how friendship are important for happy life just as a romantic partner, and how they can affect your life in better way or worst.
July 5, 2018
Grabbed this book to learn more about friendships and attachment and found the research to be interesting on how women view formation and sometimes the ending of friendships.
May 19, 2023
This book is dated and has not aged well.
September 20, 2022
This is a truly underrated book.
I came across this book when I was in a desperate search for any self help book to make sense of my own breakup with my close friends.
As I read through this book, I decided it needs a review the minute I finish it.
It has helped me tremendously with processing through the aftermath of losing my friends but also, most importantly, pointing out the mistakes that I make repeatedly with my friendships that cause me to lose them.
I'm generally not very good at reading self help books as they tend to repeat themselves after a couple chapters. This book did feel a little repetitive towards the end but it did a pretty good job maintaing my interest overall and constantly revealed new information or signs and patterns for me to compare and consider with my own pattern of friendships.
I cannot stress enough, what an eye opening collection of information and anecdotes these have been. This book had an example of each kind of friend I've ever had and the exact kind of fall out I experienced with them and how to deal with it. It makes me very disappointed that this book isn't as popular as it deserves to be.
If you're thinking of reading this book though, few things I would suggest you consider before you do so is that,
It is a tiny bit outdated. It's still pretty relevant as it was written during the peak of Facebook era. But, obviously, a lot things have changed since then.
Secondly, many of these suggestions are towards heterosexual, married women and new mothers who face a lot of life changes. Personally, I was able to apply it to my life and still found it to be pretty successful regardless of me not being in either of the categories.
And third, it's pretty US centric, if not, more towards women in first world countries.
But aside from these factors, this book is a good survival guide. I'm really glad I found it at my lowest. Over the five days that I read this book through, it managed to push me to be at peace with my loss, and to put aside my emotions and understand the mechanics behind good friendships and why I fail to make one of those last.
And finally, if you're here, I'm assuming you're going through a similar phase. I hope you find the closure you need to move on from your broken friendships, or maybe even the right tools to revive dead ones. Good luck.
I came across this book when I was in a desperate search for any self help book to make sense of my own breakup with my close friends.
As I read through this book, I decided it needs a review the minute I finish it.
It has helped me tremendously with processing through the aftermath of losing my friends but also, most importantly, pointing out the mistakes that I make repeatedly with my friendships that cause me to lose them.
I'm generally not very good at reading self help books as they tend to repeat themselves after a couple chapters. This book did feel a little repetitive towards the end but it did a pretty good job maintaing my interest overall and constantly revealed new information or signs and patterns for me to compare and consider with my own pattern of friendships.
I cannot stress enough, what an eye opening collection of information and anecdotes these have been. This book had an example of each kind of friend I've ever had and the exact kind of fall out I experienced with them and how to deal with it. It makes me very disappointed that this book isn't as popular as it deserves to be.
If you're thinking of reading this book though, few things I would suggest you consider before you do so is that,
It is a tiny bit outdated. It's still pretty relevant as it was written during the peak of Facebook era. But, obviously, a lot things have changed since then.
Secondly, many of these suggestions are towards heterosexual, married women and new mothers who face a lot of life changes. Personally, I was able to apply it to my life and still found it to be pretty successful regardless of me not being in either of the categories.
And third, it's pretty US centric, if not, more towards women in first world countries.
But aside from these factors, this book is a good survival guide. I'm really glad I found it at my lowest. Over the five days that I read this book through, it managed to push me to be at peace with my loss, and to put aside my emotions and understand the mechanics behind good friendships and why I fail to make one of those last.
And finally, if you're here, I'm assuming you're going through a similar phase. I hope you find the closure you need to move on from your broken friendships, or maybe even the right tools to revive dead ones. Good luck.
March 31, 2025
''When you lose a close female friend, there isn't a single word in the dictionnary to aptly describe the malestrom of feelings that envelop you: confusion, disapointment, anger, hurt, depression, blame, and even shame, all rolled together. That's because most women are brought to believe a romanticized myth - Best Friends Forever, or BFF - that your best friend will always be there for you, and you for her, forever and ever, whatever the circumstances.
In reality, best friends rarely are forever''.
The very first paragraph is a gut-punch, and represents very well what this book offers: insight, clarity, and a sense of comfort in finally addressing the unrealistic expectations we are led to have towards female friendships.
The taboo of friendship breakups is real, and Irene Levine does a beautiful job of exploring this phenomenon with depth, accuracy and sensitivity, basing her exploration on real experiences of hundreds of women. The falling-out of a close friendship leaves a woman with incredible pain and shame, as it is almost never represented in media - therefore, reading her book is like finally taking a breath. No, you are not alone in what you have experienced. Her writing is clear and thorough, without being too clinical or too anecdotical, too dark or too overly optimistic, too vague or too preachy. The themes and ideas she explores are truly new. I haven't read many books like this one, and I wish I had read it sooner: it is truly healing.
Highly recommand it to anyone invested in nurturing better relationships, and letting go of the past.
In reality, best friends rarely are forever''.
The very first paragraph is a gut-punch, and represents very well what this book offers: insight, clarity, and a sense of comfort in finally addressing the unrealistic expectations we are led to have towards female friendships.
The taboo of friendship breakups is real, and Irene Levine does a beautiful job of exploring this phenomenon with depth, accuracy and sensitivity, basing her exploration on real experiences of hundreds of women. The falling-out of a close friendship leaves a woman with incredible pain and shame, as it is almost never represented in media - therefore, reading her book is like finally taking a breath. No, you are not alone in what you have experienced. Her writing is clear and thorough, without being too clinical or too anecdotical, too dark or too overly optimistic, too vague or too preachy. The themes and ideas she explores are truly new. I haven't read many books like this one, and I wish I had read it sooner: it is truly healing.
Highly recommand it to anyone invested in nurturing better relationships, and letting go of the past.
January 23, 2024
The best survival guide for surviving through a friend breakup. I probably would have stopped here if this had been the first book I read on the subject, but it was the 4th. Though it had a lot of similar info to the other books I read, this book presented the material in a thoughtful, conversational way that made me feel like the author was a human being relating to me with grace in a painful time in my life. Key takeaways: female friendships do not always last forever and likely do not last forever; I am not a failure, I am going through something common and normal; I need time to mourn and heal but ultimately I do have the strength to move on; I may feel hesitant to make new friends for fear of getting hurt again, but in time I will regain the confidence to make new connections that can enrich my life. If you are going through a breakup with your best friend, you are not the only one. This book can help.
January 23, 2021
I felt it was very validating and wish there were more books like it. I wasn't a fan of all the "how to" because, well, I've already learned these things the hard way. The stories were both soothing and painful to read, as someone who experienced a friendship loss that completely destroyed me. Just overall, it was an enjoyable book but it definitely still reopened some old tender wounds. In a good way? Not sure, actually. Friendship loss is complicated.
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