The Girl with Three Legs: A Memoir

by Soraya Mire

Having experienced firsthand the horror of female genital mutilation (FGM), Soraya Miré reveals the personal violation and immense challenges she overcame. This book is at once an intimate revelation, a testament to the empowerment of women, and an indictment of the violent global oppression of women and girls.

This forthright narrative recounts what it means to grow up female in a traditional Somali family, where girls' and women's basic human rights are violated on a daily basis. Forced into an arranged marriage to an abusive older cousin, Miré was also witness to the instability of Somalia's political landscape — —her father was a general in the military dictatorship of Siad Barre.

In her journey to recover from the violence done to her, Miré realizes FGM is the ultimate child abuse, a ritual of mutilation handed down from mother to daughter and protected by the word “"culture." Despite the violations she endured, her words resonate with hope, humanity, and dignity. Her life story is truly one of inspiration and redemption.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Africa, Feminism, Contemporary, Adult

386 pages, Unknown Binding

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

The recipient of the UN's Humanitarian Award, Soraya Mir is a human rights activist, a filmmaker, and a spokesperson against female genital mutilation. She wrote, directed, and produced the film Fire Eyes, the definitive film on FGM. Mir appeared in The Vagina Monologues in London, on Broadway, in Madison Square Garden, and in Los Angeles; she has been featured on Oprah and other shows; and articles about her have appeared in publications such as the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, and Essence. "

Reviews

[Julie N · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Girl With Three Legs is a heartbreaking memoir by Soraya Mire of her experience with female genital mutilation (FGM) as a thirteen year old girl in Somalia. Mire not only shares her experiences as a child in Somalia but also the physical and emotional scars left by the mutilation. Eventually Mire was forced into marriage with an abusive husband. In spite of these devastating circumstances, Mire found the courage to move to America, start a new life, and eventually film a documentary about the travesty of FGM, which is a rite of passage in all too many cultures.

Writing
I struggled with the writing in the book. I had a hard time following the authors story - she seemed to jump around frequently in time and place and included details that I didn't feel related to the story at all. However, I hesitate to critique this as poor writing because I am so unfamiliar with African literature and African storytelling. I was also confused by a good deal of the dialogue between Somalians at various points in the book - the author uses slang and diction that I simply didn't understand. I felt like it was a barrier to me in really committing to the story. I'd like to read more African, and specifically Somali, literature to see if it gave me a better understanding of the book as a whole.

Entertainment Value
You hate to talk about entertainment value in a book about FGM, right? I mean I don't want to say "yeah, the gruesome details of torture that women are enduring on a daily basis around the world really made my evening past quickly." So while my confusion with the writing and the subject matter kept it from being a book I'd call entertaining, I do think it's a book that is important. If you aren't familiar with FGM, you should be. It's a major women's issue and as our world shrinks, the problem is spreading. At the end of the book, Mire addresses the growing problem of FGM in the United States. I definitely recommend reading it. Also, I am a huge fan of Eve Ensler and she has contributed a great introduction for the book.

[Wendy-Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Girl with Three Legs by Soraya Mire is a very disturbing account of living with FGM (female genital mutilation). Soraya grew up in Somali where she is constantly taunted by her classmates as "the girl with three legs." Not knowing what this meant, she asks her mother and older sisters. Soraya's mother decides at the age of 13 that Soraya should receive "her gift." Thinking that she was going shopping for a new dress, her mother takes her to "the man in white" and they cut and seal up her female parts which are only to be opened back up again by her future husband. Soraya suffers from considerable pain for years afterwards. Her mother again betrays her and gives her to her abusive cousin for an arranged marriage. Soraya is scared, alone, and feels like a prisoner in her own body. She finally takes charge of her life and decides to get corrective surgery. She has since become an inspiration to both women and young girls who have also become a victim of this senseless tradition. The Girl with Three Legs will leave you wondering how many throughout the world have to live with this. Very inspirational and heartbreaking. Received courtesy of Net Galley.

[Majanka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review originally published here: http://www.iheartreading.net/mini-rev...

This book was an eye-opener. Soraya was thirteen years old when girls started teasing her about walking around on three legs. When she asked her mother, she took her to the man in white, who mutilated Soraya’s female organs. The book talks about the pain she suffered afterward, and about how girls’ rights were violated every day in a traditional Somali family. The ritual of mutilation was horrifying, and reading about Soraya’s pain afterward was heart-wrenching. Despite the heavy topic matter, the book is very personal, and I instantly felt for Soraya. Solid writing too, and the book definitely doesn’t let you go after reading.

[Terrie · Rating 2 out of 5]

5 stars for what the author tried to convey. 5 stars for what she did with her life. 2 stars for how she wrote about it.

Soraya Mire's true account of her life, being born into a wealthy family in Somalia, at the age of 13 she was taken by her mother to receive her "gift." This gift was the Islamic custom of all women- Female Genitalia Mutilation (FGM) to make her more appealing for a husband and to control her sexual urges. After suffering for many years with the effects, both physical and psychological of the surgery, she went to Europe, where she had the surgery reversal. She came to America with the mission of empowering woman with knowledge and the courage to speak up against this practice.

The descriptions of the surgery and its effects are graphic and shocking. With Mire's push to make this practice more well known, the United States was able to pass a law in 1996 making FGM a felony. As of now there are still 28 countries around the world that commonly perform FGM as part of their cultural practice, about half the countries that were doing it in 1978.

The problem with this book is that it is not written well. It is disjointed and not well edited. The parts about what FGM is, are well done, but the rest of the book is just name-dropping and incidents that are nothing more than Mire's rants about how she was not accepted. She makes all Islamic people sound loud, abrasive, and abusive. She obviously had problems with her own temper that had nothing to do with FGM, since she had them from childhood. She never seems to recognize her own faults. But her determination to stand up to and try to change this horrific, senseless practice is admirable. I think it would have made a better magazine article than a full length book memoir.

[Tuscany Bernier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazingly written autobiography that kept me engaged from start to finish. It raised a lot of questions for me on many levels but I always felt it was important to keep reading. Her story is her own and while it is perhaps not for the faint of heart or those offended by the mention of female genitals, I would recommend it to everybody else. It is a personal story of transformation, perseverance, and how the journey of self-love can take quite a long time.

[Lala · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a woman who is not defined by what has been taken from
me but by what I create with what I have. I am a woman who
works tirelessly to find my place in this world. I am a woman who
will heal and give back the gift with which I am entrusted. I will
climb the highest mountain to find the truth that will help me claim
my wholeness as a human and sexual being. Working from the inside
out will guide me to the path of self-discovery, and, ultimately, I will
be able to separate love and pain. Then I will learn how to fall in
love with myself

I can stop myself to read this book. I just realized that how culture could be so destructive. I just can't imagine how it felt for 13 years old, many of girls younger than her, to have their genitalia being mutilated.

There is no power greater than finding the strength to go into the world and do the work you have been put on earth to do

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Warning: this is a rough and heartbreaking read. The author has first hand experience of female genital mutilation as a 13 year old in Somalia after her mother tells her she will be receiving a gift. This procedure results in multiple health issues over the years as her body is unable to process things “normally” anymore. After physically, emotionally and mentally healing (to the best of her ability) from this disaster she finds herself in an arranged marriage without her awareness. She escapes to the US where she receives corrective surgery and tries to forgive her family while also advocating to stop FGM by producing her own documentary. While the book as a whole is an inspiring read some parts jumped around which could get confusing. It was also a bit challenging to remember all the characters names as they would not be in the story for a while and then suddenly pop back in.

[YourLadyFriendBonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A memoir written about a young girl's experience with female genital mutilation (FGM), how it impacted her life, and how she became an activist fighting to stop the practice. The author, Soraya Miré struggles with her own journey as she tries to empower other women along the way. The only negative I have about this book is how some issues were lightly covered, while other, less important issues got a lot more coverage, but it's her life, so she can write about what she wants! Hoping FGM will be a thing of the past sooner rather than later.

[Nancy Richards-Eisener · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely terrifying! Transfixing and horrible; courageous and proud. A must-read!

[Kari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Horrifying this is done to girls.

[Melody · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking to know that this is still common practice. She gives a great insight to the practice and how it affects woman in those countries.

[Social Good Moms · Rating 4 out of 5]

Female genital mutilation or FGM for short is one of the most horrific crimes against girls and women in the world. According to the World Health Organization over 100 million women and girls live with the adverse effects of FGM, a traditional practice where a girl’s external genitalia are removed. The pain is excruciating oftentimes performed without anesthesia by older women in a village and according to traditional customs. Girls are then sewn up and a tiny hole is all that remains – tiny enough that only a Q-tip can get inside. FGM causes massive health problems for women and girls who sometimes cannot urinate and have unbearable menses because the blood cannot sufficiently flow out of a girl’s body. Once a girl is married, many times very early, sex is painful and when she has a baby its head cannot breach the massive, thick scar tissue that forms from FGM causing its death. And many women find themselves then having a fistula. This happens more times than not. FGM remains a destructive circle of violence against women and girls particularly when after birth women are re-sewn in order to remain “chaste”.

The best telling of FGM is in The Girl with Three Legs: A Memoir written by FGM activist and Somalian woman, Soraya Mire. Mire was 13 years old living in Mogadishu, Somalia when she underwent FGM. Her day started beautifully with her mother going out to shop and buy beautiful clothes, but the day ended in a house where her genitalia was forcefully removed and literally thrown to stray dogs to eat. It was a horrific experience for Mire, she writes. It took her many, many years before she decided to come forward to help prevent girls from undergoing FGM in her homeland and beyond.

After undergoing FGM Mire became extremely sick with swollen legs because urine and blood could never pass through her vagina as it should. Her parents who were wealthy tried everything to help her except reverse the procedure. They called in a Chinese doctor to perform acupuncture. They went to a local doctor who prescribed her medicine because they thought she had gone crazy, but it didn’t work. They also took Mire to local healers and, of course, that didn’t help either. She lived in pain for years until she went to college in Europe and discovered she has been secretly married to one of her cousins.
FGM and an arranged marriage were the ultimate signs of betrayal for her independence and for autonomy over her bod. It took Mire several moves in Europe, escaping from her husband, and an eventual and final move to the United States before she found her voice to create her film about FGM, Fire Eyes.

Amid death threats and being shunned by her people and even countries that didn’t want her showing her film she found resolve in spreading the word about the dangers of FGM. Through sheer determination and a willingness to move forward with her story despite many Somalian’s desire for her to keep her mouth shut about FGM Mire found herself at Sundance and even on the Oprah show. She was also instrumental in helping to make FGM a felony in the United States as more Somalian refugees came to America and tried to continue the practice with their daughters.

Knowing and understanding the full scope of FGM is difficult if you haven’t gone through it or know anyone who has, but Mire brings the ugliness of this violence against women and girls to her readers in raw detail. Anyone who reads this will stand against the practice in any way they can.

[Jenn (Booksessed) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t know how I can do this book justice in a review. It’s one that if I’m ever asked “What’s it about?” I think the only accurate answer I could give is “Read the book.” But I’ll try my best.

This is a book that if you’re a woman or you’ve ever loved a woman, will make you cry. It tackles the issue of female genital mutilation, which is still practiced in many cultures of the world. It was at times a hard book to get through, but there was no way I could not finish this book. I cried numerous times, at first it was due to shock and heartbreak; later it was because of elation.
What I found most interesting about this book was the reaction I had to it. Part way through the book I realized that this cultural practice is done as a means of marking the beginning of womanhood and those girls are deemed as “perfect” once they go through this. Since it’s not part of my culture, I couldn’t help but think that I would feel like less of a woman had it been done to me.

Soraya is a powerful speaking and her story is amazing. She was a strong-willed, stubborn child who despite her struggles didn’t let anyone stop her. She dealt with this mutilation and it’s subsequent health problems, an arranged marriage and later bouts of severe depression and anxiety with an honest grace not unlike Maya Angelou’s I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings.

What I found to be the most moving, was that despite her initial aversion and hesitation to seeking help, and how hard it was for her to break with her culture; she saw the only way to truly heal was to help other women. If that isn’t strength, I don’t know what is.

Read this book. And don’t forget the tissues.

[Jennifer Margulis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book stopped my heart. It kept me up until three in the morning. It changed my life.

It is the true life story of Soraya Miré, whose mother told her she was going to give her a "gift," when she was thirteen. From a big noisy family in Somalia, Soraya was so happy to be out alone shopping with her mom. She thought she was getting a new dress.

Instead her mother brought her to a doctor and helped hold her down while her clitorus was excised and her labia were sewn tightly together.

Her gift was to be genitally mutilated. The doctor showed her mother the excised clitoris. "Perfect," her mother said. And then it was fed to some dogs.

It's so sad and so painful. So many young women, and young girls, go through this horrific and debilitating process. And then poor Soraya had to experience, over and over again, the humiliation: with doctors in Europe who had never seen such mutilated genitalia, when she was raped by a Somali man who was angry at her for speaking out against cultural traditions (and thought what she needed was a good hard f**k), and when she wrote this brave, beautiful, devastating memoir detailing what happened to her.

Every American should read this book.

Every African should read this book.

Female genital mutilation has got to be stopped.

Thank you, Soraya Miré, for braving cultural disapproval, death threats, and rape to speak your truth and tell your story.

Thank you for making the documentary "Fire Eyes."

I am glad you are shouting from the rooftops about the oppression and mutilation of women and girls.

The time is now for this barbarism to end.

[Joemmama · Rating 4 out of 5]

Somalia was a country in upheaval. Soraya was a child with friends who would not play with her because they said she had three legs. Unable to understand, she turned to the person she trusted most, her mother.Promising her a "gift" at 13, her mother took her to a stranger, a man, to be mutilated. (genital mutilation) Her female parts were cut off and she was sewn up, only to be opened by her future husband.

It was part of the culture, and was thought to keep girls from getting wild, and making them more attractive to a potential husband. This husband might be a relative, or an older man, not of the girl's choosing. Her Mother marries her off to a cousin, who brutalized her. By escaping him, she saved her own life.

This is a harrowing story, but one that should be told. Countless girls are abused in such a manner, under the mantle of "culture". By speaking out, Soraya Mire risked everything, but she continues to speak out about the worst form of child abuse I can imagine for a young girl. Her bravery is an inspiration, as she battles the men of her country, and the women who follow them like sheep to slaughter. While it is hard to change a culture, I hope it is not impossible. All women should read this book! Most of us will count ourselves lucky.

I received this book from NetGalley for review.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is the true story of one Somali woman's fight against female circumcision. She recounts her own painful experiences of being circumcised and forced into a marriage against her will. She shares how she escapes from that situation and winds up in the United States where she begins to advocate for the end of female circumcision and works to make a documentary about the subject called "Fire Eyes". In the process she hooks up with some very famous people, which is kind of an incredible story in and of itself. She is also one of the original authors of the some of the Vagina Monologues. The book covers a really important subject matter, but I quite honestly had a hard time reading it for reasons other than what it is about. I didn't find her writing that engaging and also had a hard time following what she was talking about at times. I think much of it had to do with English not being her first language and me not being familiar with the Somali customs she was referring to in less than straightforward ways. She was trying to lead the reader down the same paths she went through discovering the dark practices of her culture, but it just left me confused and diminished my enjoyment of the book.

[Mari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Can I say this... I'm so glad I decided to read this book. The author writes her story without gruesome detail but enough to express the pain she endured, for being born a girl.

After having her female parts 'cut off' at age thirteen, she is sewn up... only to be opened by her future husband. To avoid being graphic... imagine the hygiene issues this creates once a month.

As part of their culture, this 'gift' makes girls more attractive to potential husbands who are chosen for them. In Soraya's story, her mother chooses a cousin to be her future husband. Someone who treats her terribly and she is forced to escape to save her life.

I wasn't prepared for Soraya's story. Not only did she receive her 'gift' but the infections and healing process are more than any girl should have to endure. I knew about FGM before reading this memoir but I wasn't aware of...or didn't think about... the healing process. Soraya has many complications post surgery, they will haunt you and I'm shocked to learn that this is still viewed as an important cultural experience.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admit-I picked up this book because the cover and the title intrigued me. I had no idea what this story would entail. If I had, I probably would not have picked it up, but I'm glad I did. It was interesting-if horrifying-and made me aware of human-rights issues I'd never even considered before.

This book is about FGM-Female Genital Mutilation. The book is very well written but that's part of what makes it so horrific. Soraya's words bring each scene to life in such a manner that I had nightmares after having read it the first day. When I told people that, they asked me why I was still reading it. Putting down this book would not make FGM non-existent. The words and ideas were already in my mind, so I figured that continuing the book would not do me any additional harm, and I was correct. That is not to say that it became easier to stomach, but the story did have its positive points. Soraya did find some healing as she fought (and continues to fight) to educate people and thus bring about an end to FGM.

[Anastasia Kinderman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Soraya Mire is an inspiration. She has endured unimaginable cruelty and yet has risen above and become stronger because of it. Even better, she campaigns to end it. In this book you will follow her life from abuse to her relentless attempts to tell her story and her unfazed determination to educate her fellow countrymen on the barbarity of the practice they believe should be upheld because women are their "property".

This is a gripping book, in fact my only complaint was that sometimes it felt too rushed and things were being alluded to that I couldn't follow. Like during the divorce scene with Yusuf he repeats one word instead of what Soraya's female relative requested him to say and then later says he divorces her three times. The significance of saying one word instead of "I divorce you" was not explained and I am not Muslim so I really don't follow.

I highly recommend this book, you will not be sorry you read it.

[Jeannette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting memoir, but the writing lacked color or depth. It was a lot of "I said, I saw, I experienced"--whole lotta telling.

That said, it should be a must-read for content alone. Soriya grew up in a traditional Somali family. That meant enduring genital mutilation at age 13. Horrific enough on its own, but imagine having it done w/no anesthesia or pain meds while your own mother held you down. When she experiences infection after infection that basically drives her mad, her mother ignores doctor's suggestions that it's the stitched nether area that's to blame and instead takes her to a witch doctor who douses her in chicken blood. At 17, Soriya is surprised to be left with her Yusuf--and then wed to him w/o any say. The fact that she has enough spirit to get away and then rediscover her womanhood is pretty astounding.

Must confess that I skimmed the last half or so of the book. Again, it was the writing, not the content.

[Patty · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting look at the horrific practice of female genital mutilation. I felt that the author did a good job of detailing the pain and suffering that this practice causes. She has an amazingly strong spirit and I admire her for working so hard to end the practice even though it has alienated her from her family and culture. I think the book would have been better if she had left out the details about her sex therapy (masturbation) but understand that she sees that as a big part of her healing. It wasn't the best written book, but it does give a very honest and graphic look at what genital mutilation (female circumcision) does and why it's so hard to fight against the culture that promotes it.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

The publisher provided this book for review purposes.

Female genital mutilation is something that is so inconceivable for me since I grew up here in America. Soraya makes it incredibly real in her book The girl with three legs. I found myself emotionally entranced by her descriptions of life with her family. It was easy to understand how she could love her mother after doing such a thing since she was able to describe how her mother was forced into the same type of relationship. I found myself cheering and crying with her throughout the book. She adds a personal experience to an impersonal topic. I truly loved reading her story.

[Norma Wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Girl with Three Legs is a true story where the author, Soraya Miré, weaves a dramatic chronicle of the personal challenges she overcame, of how women in Somalia accept physical abuse through generations as if it were the norm, and a testament to the empowerment of women At age thirteen years old, Mire discovers the horror of the "gift," female genital mutilation (FGM), whereby a young girls' healthy organs are chopped off.

Miré reveals what it means to grow up in a traditional Somali family, where women's basic human rights are violated on a daily basis. Her life story is one of inspiration and redemption.

[Jeannette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hard to choose a genre for books like this. It's a memoir certainly. But more so it's about female circumcision or female genital mutilation (FGM) as the author would describe what was done to her and millions of other girls. Having lived for three decades around people in Africa who practice FGM, I have a long term interest in the subject. I read whatever I can find and some books are better than others. The writing in this one was irritating and the dialogue very off putting, but the dedication, drive, determination of the author to spread the word about FGM is admirable. I just wish she had a better editor. I also wish I could find her film "Fire Eyes".

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Took me quite a long time to finish this book as her style of writing in the beginning made it hard to stay interested. She jumps from topic to topic and moves all over the place. Once she actually remained on the topic of female circumcision/female genital mutilation and her recovery from this major event in her life, my interest increased tremendously. It is not as graphic as I thought it would be. There is a decent amount of Somali history and culture included that helps one to understand why the country is in the state that it is today, but this was where she kind of jumped between topics.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful story capable of opening up our eyes to systemic and cultural injustice. I think I was expecting a little more of the global conversation about FGM to be a part of the novel, and while it wasn't closed off, it was more about her personal journey. That's allowed in a memoir though; that probably should have been what I expected.
Miré is speaking out as a former victim, the most impactful testimony for change that there can be. Her honest writing is transformative and thought-provoking.

[Lejla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book inspired me, it changed me! Soraya Mire's courage and persistence are to be envied. She went from being a curious but sheltered little girl, betrayed by her mother and abused by her arranged marriage husband to being a relentless activist, driving 3 days to meet Oprah to get her movie about FGM financed. I can't even describe properly the way this book left me feeling afterwards. It is an empowering read and informational for those who've never been informed of female genital mutilation.

[Christine Palau · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful book! And yet, so terrible. What Soraya Mire has done to fight FGM is truly an inspiration. Mire's voice is earnest and lovable. She's someone you want to be friends with. You feel like she's talking directly to you. You'll choke up, laugh, and be very angry while reading this story. That's the point; you will be moved to act and stand up for what you believe in.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent memoir that takes the reader through the hell of female genital mutilation (FGM) and the journey of one woman to not only reclaim her body and her sexuality, but work to help others who have survived this abuse and prevent the next generation from being subject to this terrible assault on female children.

[Carrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Telling her own story, Mire writes a heartfelt account detailing the horrors of female genital mutilation. This book is hard to read at times, both because of the graphic content and the sometimes meandering narrative, but it tells an important story of an injustice that is still going on today.