Bad Advice: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bullshit – A USA Today Bestseller: Truth, Not Empty Positivity

by Venus Nicolino

Los Angeles Times #1 Bestseller USA Today Bestselling Book Over motivational messages? Sick AF of inspirational quotes? Done with the shiny happy bad advice that gets you nowhere? Well, heads up: you’re about to get a shitload of Good Advice. In Bad Advice , relationship expert Dr. Venus Nicolino—a.k.a. Dr. V—takes a blowtorch to the shrink-wrapped, “feel good” BS that passes for self-help these days. When you’re heartbroken, what do you hear? You can’t love anyone until you love yourself . When someone’s hurt you? Nobody can make you feel bad without your permission. When you’re just a little too positive? Expectations lead to disappointment. Pop culture noise gives Bad Advice the varnish of truthiness and inspiration.  But it’s not truth; it’s not inspiration. It’s bullshit. And at its root, all Bad Advice operates off the same lie: Emotions are optional. In Bad Advice , Dr. V delivers a bracing truth serum, in the form of Good Advice—an antidote to the bullshit, from “Just Be Yourself” to “Live Each Day Like It’s Your Last,” that teaches you to live your life in a way that honors who you are, what you need, and how you feel. Smart and irreverent, Dr. V fuses the brains and insight of a nerdy Ph.D. with the heart of a doting Italian Mother and the artful profanity of a Philly trucker. Dr. V’s signature combination of humor, hard science, and heart make Bad Advice an iconoclastic course-correction like no other. A fiercely sharp wake-up call that tackles some of self-help’s most damaging truisms, Bad Advice is a never shy guide to tapping into your full potential.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Mental Health

240 pages, Paperback

First published November 6, 2018

About the author

Dr. Venus Nicolino (aka “Dr. V”) is the host of Marriage Bootcamp Reality Stars, and previously starred on Bravo’s LA Shrinks. She been featured on Real Housewives of New Jersey, Millionaire Matchmaker, Steve, Watch What Happens Live, The Dr. Oz Show, Rachael Ray and The Real. Dr. V holds a Masters Degree from New York University in Counseling Psychology, a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology and a Doctorate Degree in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology. She lives in Los Angeles, California with her husband and children.

Reviews

[Kaitlin Jundt · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was super annoying. Her trucker language and "funny" scenarios were really not my thing. I thought it would've been a worthy read but it turned out to be a dud. So unless you have no street smarts and really have no idea how to function in life, don't waste your time. Also, part of me thinks the author has a very hard time at accepting words of wisdom and needs things said her way in order to feel worthy...

[Leo Knight · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dr. Venus Nicolino, or "Dr. V," criticizes common pop-psychology nuggets like, "honesty is the best policy," or, "you can't love anyone until you love yourself," and replaces them with more moderate, realistic approaches. While some of her advice seems sound, I had difficulty with the author's tone. She adopts a breezy, gossipy, potty-mouthed attitude, filled with hashtags, her second favorite cuss word, "bullshit," and her favorite, "fuck." This gets old very fast. I suppose she wants to come across as edgy, or down-to-earth, but to me it seemed juvenile. I nearly flung this book across the room at one point, when she made a blatantly false statement late in the book. For a work that claims to filter out bullshit, this one has an uncommonly high fertilizer content. Doctor, heal thyself.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aside from the bit about forgiveness (at least in certain situations) this book was what I had been looking for! I was so sick of the jesusy and fluffy inspiration; or even downright abusive advice- ie people can't hurt you unless you give them permission (gaslighting much?). Highly recommend!

If you can't deal with someone cursing like a sailor, this is not for you. :p

[Arthur Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

ARC won in Goodreads giveaway

[Elaine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Positives about this book -- this is a short read that is really a set of seemingly off-the-cuff rants that have a lot of truth behind them. Negatives -- I can't believe that people really need to be told how to disregard bad advice that is as obvious as "you can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself". On the other hand I had to admit that I relatively enjoyed reading someone delineate all of those little truisms that folks dash off when they don't know what else to say and destroy them one by one.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is probably my favorite book of all time. It felt like I was talking to my best friend. I laughed, I cried, I was inspired. If you're looking to be inspired and laugh, you'll love this book. I noticed comments about her use of profanity and I truly believe those are sexist comments. There are books where F*ck is IN THE TITLE written by men and we don't scold them about their language. Anyway, I loved every word of it. Profanity and all.

[theStorykeeper · Rating 3 out of 5]

CW: coarse and sexual language, discussion of sex, assumptions that everyone is sexual and romantic, way too much social media lingo
+TW: thanatophobia

Despite all that, there were some meaningful insights. Just the validation that emotions are NOT controllable was worthwhile. (See, even as I type that sentence, I worry about people in the comments insisting that they are.)

[Debra]

Won as an ARC giveaway on Goodreads. DNF. The tone of the writing and the language was not for me. There might have been actual good advice in this book, but I could not wade through the shrill language to find it.

[Darnell · Rating 2 out of 5]

It pretends not to be a self-help book, but it's a self-help book. Shouldn't have second-guessed my bias in this case.

[Peggy McCoy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yuck, just couldn't get past the language in this book. I think using fuck in every sentence is just bullshit!

[Jonathan Platt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok, read some of these reviews from other people. I don't get it, if you don't like profanity or an edgy style this is not your book anyway. I thought it was an amazing book with great insight and humor. Dr. V is know for her candid style and heart warming advice and this book does not disappoint. For you haters, go read Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and be bored to death. I could not recommend this book more highly!

[Jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Curse words, to me, are punctuation marks. In this book they are filler. Without them, this book would be half as long. She may have some worthwhile ideas to impart but they are lost in the superfluous cursing. F*** that s***.

[Mander Pander · Rating 4 out of 5]

TV therapist takes off the bangle bracelets and talks real shit about the insidious bad advice we grew up, breaking it down by the line item like a trash-talking friend pulling you away from the drain you're circling? Get into it.
I recommend the audiobook.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

The only strength of this book was that it cited some interesting scientific studies. It's short but extremely juvenile and condescending to the point that finishing it was a chore.

[kaiielle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn’t get completely into this book and I borrowed it twice from the library and both times I never finished it before it was due. So I am giving up on it.

[Rahel · Rating 3 out of 5]

🖇 Nasihat Buruk by Dr. Venus Nicolino - #katalogselfdevrahel #katalograhel

⭐: 3/5
📖: 241 pages
📆: Dec 2023–Mar 2024

📚 sesuai cover-nya, buku ini berisi nasihat-nasihat yang “kedengerannya” baik, tapi setelah dipikir-pikir ternyata itu cukup “menyesatkan” kita. apa aja sih nasihat itu?
1. Jadi Diri Sendiri Saja
2. Kamu Tidak Bisa Mencintai Siapa pun sampai Kamu Mencintai Diri Sendiri
3. Harapan Berakhir dengan Kekecewaan
4. Terima Saia dan Jangan Marah
5. Tidak Seorang pun Dapat Membuat Kamu Merasa Tidak Senang Tanpa Izinmu
6. Kejujuran Adalah Kebijakan Terbaik
7. Ikuti Kebahagiaanmu
8. Jalani Hidup Setiap Hari bagaikan Itu Hari Terakhirmu

📚 di buku ini banyak banget referensi bacaan yang dikutip penulis buat mendukung gagasan yang dibawa lewat buku ini. jadi bakal cocok kalau kamu ingin cari lebih jauh lagi tentang bahasan dari buku ini

📚 banyak yang aku bookmark, tapi karena terlalu banyak dan ga muat, jadi aku highlight beberapa aja yaa!

📚 oiya jujur sebenernya cover buku ini cukup mengganggu ... 😭, tapi don’t judge a book by it’s cover kan ya. aku pun tertarik beli karena judulnya yang aku rasa bakal “ekstrim”

📚 sayang banget sebenernya buku ini bagus dan cukup “menampar”, tapi terjemahan bahasanya cukup aneh, kaku, dan berbelit-belit .... atau emang dari penulisnya gitu ya? soalnya aku cek goodreads pada komen mirip-mirip juga

📚 aku ga rekomen buku ini kalau semisal temen-temen agak kurang nyaman dengan istilah 🔞 karena di buku ini penulisnya ga jarang pake istilah-istilah tersebut

[Joydan Grant]

Here are my main takeaways from the book:

•What other people think of you should matter when it’s your words/actions inspiring their thoughts
•I don’t care what anybody thinks= you’re not being yourself if you define yourself by what you’re not... you’re being your anger
•Self-knowledge = an understanding of who you are
•Self-awareness = why you are who you are
•How much you do or don’t care what anyone else thinks has nothing to do with how confident you are
•Loving yourself is really self care
•Nobody has to be a villain to hurt you - good people can hurt people too
•When you can’t think of nothing good about yourself and start to doubt, look through the eyes of people who love you
•Reciprocation isn’t love, it’s acceptance
•Disappointment is inevitable because expectations are inevitable
•By forgiving someone, you make a conscious choice to direct your energy toward recovering from disappointment instead of reminding yourself of who caused it

[Ketekun Phanith · Rating 5 out of 5]

[Bad Advice: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bullshit - Venus Nicolino]

Rating: Perfect 5.01/5.00

I am in love with every part of this book, everyone! It is not just a typical self-help book that the readers can find on any bookshelf. Yet it is a masterpiece that breaks down the flaws of all the stereotypical pieces of advice we regularly receive while suggesting good pieces of advice that are useful and applicable for us.

Ranging from honesty to happiness, Bad Advice touches on different aspects of the available situations and explains the bad and good sides of them in detail. Besides, it helps me feel fulfilled after finishing each chapter and motivates me to explore more.

After all, I recommend 'Bad Advice' to people who aim to survive and thrive in this age of bullshit! Heck yes!

#badadvice #venusnicolino #bookreview #selfdevelopment

[Kaye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever just randomly picked up a book, and found exactly what you needed to hear at that time of your life in its pages? It doesn't happen often, but "So if you're suffering through a deep disappointment now, know this: What you're feeling isn't a sign of failure; it's evidence of courage. It's evidence that you had the courage to try. You had the courage to love. You had the courage to make yourself heard. And courage is never wrong." was perfect. I won't say the whole book was perfect, even though it was pretty good throughout, but finding this nugget in it was apparently why I needed to read it. This book is NOT for you if you're offended by profanity or bawdy metaphors, but I would definitely recommend it to everyone else.

[Valerie Ciraulo · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not for everyone.
But, if you think you would like to have a therapist/mom type rant about the pitfalls of common specific phrases normally extolled as good advice all while trying to give you better advice and swearing up a storm, feel free to give it a try.

For me, some parts were deeply motivating while other parts I flat out didn't agree with. I still think it was well worth the read (for me).

I'm not sure exactly who this book may be best suited for. Perhaps those that detest 'Live, Laugh, Love' platitudes, have significant anxiety and/or depression, and don't mind the near-constant swearing.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

She sounded so much like Carrie Fisher that that is who I pictured reading this book to me. Beyond that, it’s a solid self help book with a curse word in the title, irreverent and funny while pulling down some common sense.

As a side note, I find I’m happier when I’m listening to these books. It isn’t even so much the advice, sometimes I want to bang my head against the wall because it isn’t all good advice, but I am theorizing it is because I feel connected to all the other readers looking for the same things I am.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was funny in all the right places. Sometimes it seemed liked Dr. V was trying a little too hard to throw the work "f***" in at every turn (it's a fav of mine too, but I can read a sentence without it). I have a couple friends I would love to buy a copy for as it offers a lot of insight into ignoring bad advice and taking device that actually makes you better.

[Andrea Michel]

Seemed like half the book was her coming up with an overly literal take on popular inspirational sayings - or twisting them altogether. And then, frequently, coming up with a slightly differently phrased version that means basically the same thing as people probably understood the original phrase to mean.

But it’s entertaining and often funny.

[Caroline Browning · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn’t get past the first chapter. Swear words every sentence and hashtags throughout seem like she’s either trying too hard to be edgy. That, or it’s just a very “how do you do, fellow kids?” Moment. Not to mention dropping a slur on page ten. TEN! Checked the publish date for some kind of excuse, and it’s 2018? Lady you know you can’t say that 😭

[Emily Beal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I already LOVE doctor V. But this made me so much more infatuated. The way she speaks is empowering, raw, and super informative. I feel like Im even thinking different already. I loved it so much I wrote a bunch of notes in my journal. (A bunch as in like 30 pages)
Amazing book.

[Katherine Huff · Rating 3 out of 5]

With a more aggressive and crude approach to the self help genre, this telling of good and bad advice was funny, insightful, and a breeze to get through compared to most that can be entirely too depressing.

[Trenell · Rating 5 out of 5]

It changed my life with self realization and awaking awareness...

[Armand · Rating 1 out of 5]

Audiobook version. This was a waste of time. Not so much an advice book as a contrived attempt to sound 'edgy’ and an excuse to use the words 'fuck' and 'shit' every five seconds. No thanks.

[Luv 2 Read · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read for anyone that wants to have a fresh outlook on life while being thoroughly entertained. I highly recommend this book!!

[Poulineh Saatjian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great self-help book! It’s a fun read which will change your outlook on #BadAdvice you hear on a daily basis. Highly recommend this book to everyone.