You Don't Know Everything, Jilly P!

by Alex Gino

Jilly thinks she's figured out how life works. But when her sister Emma is born Deaf, she realizes how much she still has to learn.

A big fantasy reader, Jilly connects with another fan, Derek, who is a Deaf Black ASL user. She goes to Derek for advice but doesn't always know the best way to ask for it and makes some mistakes along the way. Jilly has to step back to learn to be an ally, a sister, and a friend, understanding that life works in different ways for different people, and that being open to change can make you change in the best possible ways.

Genres: Middle Grade, Realistic Fiction, Disability, LGBT, Fiction, Contemporary, Audiobook

Audio CD

First published September 25, 2018

About the author

Alex Gino loves glitter, ice cream, gardening, awe-ful puns, and stories that reflect the diversity and complexity of being alive.

Gino is genderqueer and uses singular they pronouns and the honorific Mx.

Reviews

[Josu Diamond · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un libro necesario, de lx siempre maravillosx Alex Gino.

No es que Alex Gino tenga demasiados libros, pero siempre tiene una tendencia a contar historias del colectivo LGTB+. En esta ocasión, aunque hay presencia de personajes de dicho colectivo, la novela se centra en las personas sordas, el racismo y la brutalidad policial contra las personas negras en Estados Unidos.

Lo que más me gusta de lx autorx es el punto de vista desde el que narra siempre, además de la tan increíble manera de tratar temas complicados incluso para adultxs de una forma sencilla. No hay forma en la que no comprendas las problemáticas de lxs protagonistas: lo hace de un modo increíble. En este libro en concreto, me ha encantado la ingenuidad e inocencia de Jilly, la protagonista, y cómo se muestra siempre abierta a conocer y descubrir, incluso haciendo las cosas mal, porque es la mejor forma de aprender.

En You Don't Know Everything, Jilly P! tenemos una historia sobre una joven fanática de una saga de libros de fantasía y emocionada por la llegada de su hermana recién nacida a casa. Ambas historias se desarrollan de forma casi paralela y se entremezclan al mismo tiempo. Jilly habla siempre con un amigo de internet fan de esos mismos libros, que resulta ser negro y sordo. Gracias a esta amistad conoceremos una perspectiva diferente a la realidad que vive Jilly. O no tanto, ya que su hermana Emma ha nacido sorda. Ambas historias se entremezclan de una forma maravillosa, con una protagonista incansable en hacer de su mundo uno mejor.

Sin duda, me quedo con la trama del racismo. Creo que es la que mejor contada está a nivel de sensibilidad, puesto que la protagonista es blanca y tiene que aprender cuál es su papel en la sociedad como persona privilegiada. No olvidemos que, a todo esto, es una niña de 12 años. ¡Es muy joven! Sin embargo, tanto el tema del racismo como el de la sordera, son dos temas que le llegan de golpe y tiene que aprender a gestionar de la mejor manera.

Y si os estáis preguntando si esto es drama o vais a llorar... Es posible, pero Alex Gino se caracteriza por escribir libros bastante calentitos, de estos que te dejan sonriendo y soñando con que una sociedad mejor es posible. De verdad, son libros que siempre quiero releer porque te hacen sentir súper bien. Hay momentos para todo: risas, lloros, discusiones, incomprensión... Pero la enseñanza que se saca de todo esto es siempre positiva.

Sin duda, You Don't Know Everything, Jilly P! se convierte en mi nuevo libro favorito de Alex Gino, por su sensibilidad, por tratar temas poco habituales y porque la protagonista es la cosa más tierna y fantástica del universo. Si no habéis leído a estx autorx, ¡no sé a qué esperáis!

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

(I read this ARC in exchange for an honest review. I discuss the content of the book, so my review contains spoilers.)

As a writer, Alex Gino doesn’t know how to play it safe. In their debut middle grade (MG) novel, George, the protagonist is a transgender girl who wants to be Charlotte in a play of Charlotte’s Web, so everyone can see who she is, once and for all. The book, which has reached so many young readers, continues to be a lightning rod for queer oppression and censorship. https://www.slj.com/2018/05/opinion/l...

In a recent presentation to the Association of Children’s Librarians, Gino stated (I’m using auto-captions): “That’s why I write for the future. That’s why I write kids’ books, so the next generation of people have more of a range of seeing what’s in the world.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuoWy...

Flash forward to this month: May 2018. During Deaf Awareness Week, I have twice read the ARC of Gino’s new MG novel, to be released in September. It is titled You Don’t Know Everything, Jilly P! And it’s marvelous. It is brilliant and funny and topical and timeless—and not safe.

From the first page of chapter one, we are introduced to Jilly’s life and the themes that will weave together masterfully throughout the book. Jilly and her family are white and hearing. Jilly’s mom (or J.M., in the book’s ‘initialisms’) is pregnant with a second daughter. Jilly and her parents are in their living room watching TV, when the news come on that a fifteen-year-old Black girl has been fatally shot by the police following an undescribed ‘incident.’

“Again?” Dad says. “This world gets scarier and scarier.”
“No kidding,” says Mom.
“Dad shuts off the TV and turns to me, wiping the concern from his face as quickly as the image on the screen disappears. As if it didn’t happen if we don’t mention it.”

Jilly goes up her bedroom and logs into a fan site for her favorite fantasy book series, the Magically Mysterious Vidalia trilogy. Jilly and the other under-14 fans engage in text-like fandom specific banter. But life often leaks in. Especially in the form of profoundinoaktown, who does not wipe away the fact that he is Black and Deaf. He’s forthright and nervy; and Jilly thinks she may have a crush on him.

When J.M gives birth to baby Emma it becomes quickly apparent that child is at the very least hard of hearing. J.M and J.D. are sullen for a period as they retest the baby and seek professional help. As Jilly’s best friend Macy explains to her, “I mean, they were expecting to have another kid who can hear and everything, and now they have to get used to the idea that they don’t.”

This notion of parents ‘mourning the death of a perfect child’ when they have a Deaf or disabled child is not one I’m fond of, but many people will identify with it and it may help children understand their parents’ behavior in such circumstances. Especially if the period is temporary, as it is with Jilly’s parents.

I’m more sympathetic to J.M. and J.D. when they consult with Emma’s first audiologist, the appropriately named Dr. Slapp. Dr. Slapp immediately talks hearing aids and getting Emma back on a “normal” track. She introduces the notion of surgery for a cochlear implant (CI) in their first meeting. She is oralism focused. Dr. Slapp discourages Emma’s family from learning American Sign Language. “Unless and until a family decides to go down the road of manual communication, it’s best to focus the child’s attention on spoken language.”

None of this is exaggerated. It’s kind of thing that can confuse hearing parents of deaf kids who are not yet aware of their options and trying to do the best for their child. In my experience, audiologists like Dr. Slapp are persuasive and absolute. Gino shows this well. In doing so, they place themselves firmly on the side of Deaf community. That is, people (like me) who identify as culturally Deaf and speak ASL. There are so few MG and YA books that do this, it was stunning and affirming for me to read. I can’t wait to get this book into the hands of the Deaf kids I work with; and the hearing kids too.

Jilly finds respite from her parents’ worries at her aunts’ house. Jilly’s Aunt Joanne is married to her Aunt Alicia, who “is Black, with dozens of straight, long locks running down her back.” She is real with Jilly in a way that her parents are not. Aunt Alicia has a young son and daughter from a previous marriage, and, like all Black mothers of Black children, she watches the daily news reports of Black adults and children being killed by law enforcement with intense pain and fear.

We aren’t far into the book when we discover that Jilly really doesn’t know *everything*. She has never confronted her white privilege. When Jilly suggests to her Aunt Alicia that “things will be different” when her two cousins grow up, Aunt Alicia doesn’t pull any punches: “That’s a really sweet thought, Jellybean. But we’ve got a long way to go between here and there.”

Aunt Alicia tells Jilly to discuss the latest shooting of a young Black man with her family that night. Their responses are uncomfortable and evasive. She also makes missteps online with profound. He is uncomfortable and embarrassed when she excitedly tells him her sister is Deaf in front their Vidalia group.

Moving along to a Thanksgiving dinner from hell, which families are certainly experiencing in Trump’s America. Aunt Alicia is confronted with both outspoken racism and microaggressions (“Will you bake us sweet potato pie?”) from her wife’s family. Aunt Alicia rightly storms out. This is a catalyst for Jilly to begin to confront her own privilege and the prejudice of her comfortable white family and community. “If [cousins] Justin and Jamila aren’t safe because they’re Black, does that mean Emma and I are safe because we’re white? I feel weird even thinking that.”

Further conversations and confrontations with Aunt Alicia and profound aka Derek grow her mind. By the end of the book, Jilly suggests that her family place a BLACK LIVES MATTER sign on their lawn. “A sign doesn’t save anyone’s life, but it let’s people know we’re thinking about it and that they can too."

I’ll pause here to say that there will certainly be people who find this book didactic. Some critics and parents will find this an ‘indoctrination’ of a different kind than George, but equally offensive. But these are crucial issues in children’s day to day lives and there’s no reason they shouldn’t appear in kid lit fiction. In fact, there’s every reason they should. And it needs to happen before YA; kids can't wait that long to see themselves in books.

In their excellent back matter, Gino is aware that they have written a book to educate young white readers about their privilege. They write, “especially to Black Deaf readers”: “I hope that you will forgive me for killing two Black youth on the page, and injuring another, for the edification of my white main character. I hope that my choices are worthy of forgiveness.”

This is an amazing author’s statement. I cannot speak for hearing Black or Black Deaf readers. But, as a white Deaf reader, I believe that the reader’s trust Gino gained in their more linear first novel will be sustained by many who pick up this multilayered book.

How is Gino on ASL and deafness? That’s something I can speak to. I’m going to bullet point a few things.

-Derek’s 1st language is ASL. It is not uncommon for someone like us to mix up English spelling and grammar. Gino demonstrates this but doesn’t labor over it in a way that would make the Deaf seem illiterate.

-I held my breath during the discussions about name signs. This is a highly important tradition in Deaf culture, and Gino honors it. When Jilly creates a name sign for Emma: “profoundinoaktown: you’re not Deaf. JillyP: So? profoundinoaktown: so, name signs come from Deaf people. that’s just how it works. it’s one of the perks.” I hope this will prevent hearing readers from making up their own name signs. Not to mention hearing teachers, who should never assign that as a book-related task.

Gino knows enough about the playfulness of ASL to know that certain name signs are built-in, so to speak. Like Vidalia=onion.

-Derek references the history of Deaf oppression; specifically, that ASL has been forbidden to so many. “profoundinoaktown: oralism is back. as if hanging around hearing people is going to make me hearing or something…I mean, it’s not the same as it was…there aren’t asylums or anything anymore…and Deaf people have always found a way to sign with each other.”

This is Gino’s family history. From the back matter: “My father’s parents were Deaf and my grandfather co-founded the Staten Island Deaf Club. I spent many weekend evenings surrounded by Deaf and HOH folks…the music pumping heavy enough to shake the floor.”

-Many hearing authors who write Deaf characters are strictly anti-CI. As if they are politically righteous and in-the-know. Gino knows it’s more complicated. It’s helpful for some people and not others. I appreciate that, since the majority of D/deaf/HOH kids and teens I work with have CIs. Many of them (including native signers) use them as tools to acquire language rather than as a cure. Alienating them as readers is cruel and senseless.

Jilly makes lots of mistakes, big and small. Aunt Alicia tells her: “Jillybean, if I gave up on people when they made mistakes, I’d be lonely. Real lonely.” While this book is a roadmap for kids to understand injustices or “the range of what’s around them in the world,” and strive to get it right. It also recognizes that they’ll make mistakes and hurt people, but that shouldn’t stop them from asking questions and engaging in hard discussions. If that isn’t a hopeful message for young readers, I don’t know what is.

Gino’s prose is plain (with some nice flourishes, like the ‘everything’ on the cover) and identifiable too. They are growing as a writer, and that’s always exciting to witness. This isn’t an author who has written a couple of remarkable books and will rest on their laurels. It’s someone who will keep making fearless leaps that earn them loyal readers.

The Deaf #ownvoices that exist (including me) are largely white women. The need for BIPOC Deaf #ownvoices is intense. This is the first book I know of since Jacqueline Woodson’s Feathers (2007) to feature a significant Black Deaf character. Black ASL and Black Deaf culture are historically and contemporary rich traditions. There are so many stories to be told that will entertain and change people’s perspectives. What are the obstacles unique to Black Deaf writers in English and ASL? How can we help them publish their stories, and gain recognition and have careers? These are questions I keep asking myself. I am also asking publishers and white hearing authors who benefit from telling their stories.

In the Vidalia community, white hearing Crytaline says: “oh. double whammy…I just mean that’s a lot to deal with. Deaf AND black.” Gino perhaps serves their readers (and characters) best by showing that Derek’s blackness and deafness are indivisible; they make him a whole person. This is what's actually meant by 'intersectionality.'

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND You Don’t Know Everything, Jilly P!

*One of Gino’s Black Deaf sensitivity readers, Ayisha Knight-Shaw, demonstrates the name sign she gave Derek. http://www.alexgino.com/jillyp/

Note: Gino uses the verb 'to use' to describe those native and fluent in ASL. I prefer to say I 'speak' ASL, just as I speak English. That may seem contradictory to some, but I feel it creates parity between my two languages.

[Suzanne Steckert · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very ambitious book. Strong representation of deaf community (my daughter is hearing impaired) but missed the mark on the racial issues. Dialogue came off as preachy and disingenuous. It is hard to top George but the lessons are lost in the obvious and predicatable plot.

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a hearing white lady, I'm giving this three stars with some reservations and a strong concern.

I appreciate the effort that went into this book. Gino had a slew of sensitivity readers and was respectful of the communities being represented. I realize, too, that Gino has a platform for speaking to younger audiences about important life issues that are often maligned, misunderstood, or misrepresented by cishet people so it makes sense to use that platform to introduce other important topics like difficulties the deaf community deals with from the hearing community as well as the injustice and cruelty of racism.
Gino is up front with their place as an author in relation to these topics and spells out the due diligence they performed to get this story right. They did everything a hearing white person could do to tell this story in an responsible, open, and inclusive way from the point of view of a white, hearing pre-teen.
Regardless, I am not convinced Gino was the person to tell this story. As conscientious as they were, as much as this looks like allyship, this still isn't an #ownvoices story, despite the white main character. I can't say this won't be a powerful read for some of the intended audience but this isn't much different from hiring a hearing actor to play a deaf character because the actor is well-known or a casting an award-winning white actor to play an Asian character even though there is absolutely no reason at all to cast a white person in an Asian role. Gino apologizes to their deaf and/or POC readers for centering the story on a hearing white girl but if you have to issue an apology over a known problem, maybe don't create the problem.

And then there's the story, itself.
It was a difficult read for me because of the way it's written.
First, there are the physical descriptions of characters upon introduction.
Jilly's mother, and Jilly, too, are introduced as having shoulder-length copper hair, small noses, and light brown eyes.
The first thing the reader knows about Jilly's father is that he has black hair with a white tuft, Italian skin (?) a few shades darker than Jilly's and her mom's.
Jilly's BFF Macy has black hair in a pixie cut, green eyes, and sand-colored white skin (no, I don't know what kind or shade of sand)
Aunt Alicia is black with dozens of straight, long locks. She wears bug earrings and is sporting a headband.
Cousin Justin, age 3, has shaved hair but Cousin Jamila, age 5, has fluffy curls. Their skin color is not mentioned but the reader knows these are Aunt Alicia's kids from a previous marriage so we can assume they're black.
Aunt Joanna, who is Mom's sister and Aunt Alicia's wife, has short reddish brown hair and purple glasses. Again, no mention of skin color but since we know she's related to Jilly's mom, we know she probably has the same skin color they do.
A nurse walks into the room. She's a woman with a bronze complexion and her hair in a tight braid.
The audiologist is wearing a Navy blue sweater with pearls under a lab coat and her blonde hair is in a bun.
Cousin Annie, teenager, has brown hair with reddish highlights and Cousin Adriana, teenager, has blonde hair. They both have pinkish white skin.
2 mothers and their child: The women both have short brown hair and pale white skin while the kid's complexion is dark and her long straight hair hangs in two braids.
The family sitting next to the 2 moms and their kid: ...a black teenager sits next to her mom and dad. Her face is a combination of his eyes and her nose with a bright smile all her own.
The woman running a Families of Deaf Children event: She is short with rosy pink skin and a smile as wide as her hips. (Excuse me?) and then later, Jilly notes I didn't notice how attractive Karina was at New Parents Night...Her deep red lipstick brings out the highlights in her curly black hair. She's wearing a black blouse and a simple silver chain necklace and a large black bag hangs from her shoulder. It's ok that she's got wide hips because she's actually one of those pretty women with her lipstick and slimming black clothing.
The crush's family: Mr. Knight has thick, freckled cheeks under a checkered cap. Mrs. Knight is a little taller and a little darker and she wears her hair in large shiny curls that sit on her shoulders.
The kid at the ice cream place: A lanky white boy with short blonde curls
Noteworthy: Jilly's mom's family, with exception to Aunt Joanna, Cousins Annie and Adriana, are not described. In fact, they're not even really introduced, they just show up with their racism and microaggressions and the reader gets to figure out the nature of their relationships.
The physical descriptions of characters when they were introduced was overwhelming and became silly as the book progressed. I feel the idea behind these descriptions was to remind white readers that book characters do not default to white. That's a good thing to learn, something I still struggle with, as I found when I read The Fifth Season, but, c'mon! There's got to be a better way to explain diversity than a physical catalog for every person who comes on page.

Second, Jilly.
She's 12 and involved in a book fandom. It's the most boring fandom in the world, maybe because her online forum is for 11- to 13-year olds only. As it turns out, 11- to 13-year-olds don't really have much to say to one another even when obsessing over a book series. However, it is fertile ground for Jilly to learn about topics such as being black in North America, being deaf in North America, being black and deaf in Oaktown. And also, getting a crush on a boy.
Jilly also likes to explain everything to her readers, such as how to make a JPPB&J or how she came up with a nickname for her cousins or why white kids are safe in society but black kids aren't or how she invented a sign-name for her baby sister or that Stevie Nicks wrote "Landslide."
As a result, Jilly comes across as more juvenile than her age would suggest, closer to a 9- or 10-year-old and less like a 12-year-old, soon to be 13.

I said I had a strong concern, as well.
Jilly gets a crush on a black, deaf boy from her online fandom. It's not that he has done anything in particular to warrant this crush, it just happened when she started thinking about him after she finds out her baby sister is deaf. Jilly wants to use the kid as a resource, though he's not having it, and winds up thinking he has the cutest avatar - it's a picture of his ear.
Here's what's going on in the background: Jilly has created a persona for this guy based not on anything he says or does but because she thinks about how he's deaf and black. This is a problem, no matter how you look at it. Either she has a crush because he's so pitiable and she can be the kind, open-minded savior-type to love him or she has a crush on a person she made up in her head and overlaid on an actual person, erasing the real person in favor of what she wants him to be. Again, there's nothing he's said or done to warrant a this level of affection from her, it came about because she was thinking about how he's deaf, like her sister, and also how he's black, like her aunt and cousins. The unrealistic crush is later acknowledged but never addressed. Instead of realizing that crushes are fleeting and sometimes nonsensical or that people should be appreciated for who they are rather than who you want them to be or that you're not a hero for liking deaf, black people, Jilly just brushes it off and decides that since the boy is an actual person, not a fantasy, they should be friends.
So this online crush, he goes by @profoundinoaktown, profound for short. He is often antagonistic. Sometimes, he is calling fellow online fantasy fans out on their racist or ableist behavior and sometimes he's just being a dick. The reader rarely sees him displaying any kindness toward his online friends, though it often sounds like he had just been having a good conversation with others before Jilly showed up. Jilly never bothers to listen to profound, instead, she decides she likes him and she starts chatting him up, not to find out more about who he is but to find out more about things she's been thinking about in relation to her life (the aforementioned deaf like sister, black like relatives.) That's pretty crappy but she's 12 and isn't very aware of much yet and this is a pretty accurate situation, actually - people assuming they have a right to be educated by other people who are living the lessons the Jillys in the world want to learn. And this is a good set up to show why it's wrong to expect free emotional labor from others but that's not really what happens.
Once profound and Jilly start talking privately, Jilly is constantly saying the wrong thing, at first obliviously and then not so much; it's almost like she's trolling him, displaying an unbelievable lack of awareness after trying so hard to be a more aware and inclusive person. When this happens, profound confronts Jilly and then leaves in a huff. She feels bad and tries to apologize but her apologies are usually too late because he's already gone. When she is able to apologize to him, her apologies are often reactionary and not borne of actual contrition and they come tumbling out onto profound and he tells her to knock it off which makes her feel worse and it all spirals. And this becomes a thing they do, Jilly always left apologizing in the wake of profound's anger.

JillyinP: I didn't mean anything by it. I was just thinking about it.
profoundinoaktown: why is it always about you and what you think? why can't you ever just listen?
JillyinP: Don't be mad.
profoundinoaktown: i'll be how I want. ever since your sister was born, I can't have a normal conversation with you. it's like all you can see is that i'm Deaf
JillyinP: I'm sorry
profoundinoaktown:you're always sorry. do you have any idea how much it hurts when you don't see me?
profoundinoaktown: why am I even talking to you?
profoundinoaktown has departed the grove. You are left alone with your thoughts.

So why do they continue talking? profound has made it clear that he doesn't want to be Jilly's Deaf resource and that he wants to be seen. So that should have been that, let the cards fall where they may.
However, he continues to invite her into chat rooms and Jilly continues to seek him out. At one point, they have a disagreement and profound says:

profoundinoaktown: i mean, it's like sometimes you're cool
JillyinP: thanks
profoundinoaktown: but other times you just don't get it
JillyinP: sorry
profoundinoaktown: it isn't all about being sorry
JillyinP: I won't mess up again. I promise.
profoundinoaktown: yes you will
profoundinoaktown: unless i cut you out entirely
JillyinP: please don't
profoundinoaktown: not planning on it
profoundinoaktown: not yet anyway

After that statement, he doesn't leave the chat room, he just ghosts and his icon goes to inactive.

Now we're getting into emotional abuse territory. Jilly has said some dumb stuff, often not understanding why her words are hurtful but also not really learning much after she's been asked to stop - this is one of the book's themes - but because profound initiates most of these chats and because he is the one to get upset and then leave the chat because he's upset, he is asserting his power and control in the situation. Jilly cries over how much she's hurting him and she always feels bad and apologizes and tries to make nice to him every time he invites her into another private chat but too often, it ends with profound logging while Jilly apologizes. This pattern is never acknowledged nor addressed and Jilly never stands up for herself nor sets boundaries. This reinforces the idea that men can and should, in cases where the men have less societal power in a situation, successfully dominate women through emotional manipulation.
I was concerned by that.

Personally, as an adult reading this middle grade book, I did not like it. I don't think Gino is a strong writer and I had a hard time with all of the cutsieness going on, from the nicknames Jilly makes up to her dad and best friend communicating in initialisms. I also couldn't track these kids' ages despite their ages being given regularly. Sometimes, they seemed very young and other times, they felt like teens. And, as I mentioned above, the introduction of characters via physical descriptions was just too much for me.

However, there were some things I thought were done well in this story.
I liked that this highlighted good, loving parents who aren't able to have difficult conversations with their children. Jilly tries to initiate conversations about her sister's hearing or about racism with her parents and they always shut her down sweetly and politely. It's infuriating and I was glad to see this brought to light because I think we tend to believe that racists, ableists, bigots, et al. come from terrible families who ingrained this poor behavior in their children or maybe from unaware families who just don't get it. Just as often, as this tale points out, the families are aware and they are not malicious people, they're just not willing to face facts and help their children navigate challenging ideas and situations.
I also greatly appreciated Jilly's willingness to just accept Emma. Instead of fretting over Emma's deafness, Jilly starts learning sign language in order to be able to talk to her sister. Again, her parents' unwillingness to deal with uncomfortable situations was showcased here; they wanted to fix their daughter to ensure the best possible future rather than making space for their child to grow into who she's supposed to be.
The White People at Family Dinner scenes were painful and accurate. This is a bigger version of Jilly's parents inability to cope with unpleasantness. I would have liked Jilly to have been more upset in these scenarios rather than just being an active observer but emotions aren't really something played up in this book - it's more of a tell, not show, piece. Regardless, while this didn't give any pointers on how to combat uncomfortable situations like Racist Family Dinner, I appreciated it being called to the floor and examined.
And I loved Aunt Alicia's example of setting boundaries. She didn't quietly sit through dinner with her racist in-laws, figuring it would be over soon, but, instead, removed herself from the situation and let her loved ones know that she needed time to herself to deal with what had happened. When they tried to intervene, to help, she shut them down and told them to wait and reminded them she loved them but that they needed to step back and listen to her for once. But then she had to go on and tell her loved ones that it hurt her when they didn't stand up for her, didn't step in to shut down their own kin for their horrible comments, that she was the one who had to defend herself again and that's unacceptable. She was assertive and took care of herself which was very different from profound's method of dealing with Jilly's pestering. The example of setting boundaries was wonderful but why was it Aunt Alicia's responsibility to educate her family as to why those boundaries had to be set? Why didn't her wife do that? Why didn't Jilly try to figure it out? Why was it Alicia's job?

While I didn't enjoy this book, personally, I will still recommend it to hearing white kids but I will do so with hesitation and a caveat.

[Scottsdale Public Library]

Author Gino explores the idea of acceptance, couched in an intriguing story. Twelve-year-old Jilly is excited about the arrival of her new sister, Emma, but is saddened to learn the baby has profound hearing loss. She shares the news online with fellow fantasy fans, only to learn that one of the group is deaf, Black and uses American Sign Language to communicate. Readers will cheer as Jilly uses this connection to learn how she can help Emma, finding true friendship in the process. – Louisa A.

[Laurie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Had to read it to review for a magazine. Absolutely one of the worst books I’ve ever read. Basic plot: young protagonist learns to adjust her thinking after sister is born deaf; all cops and white people are bad.

[Tory · Rating 1 out of 5]

One of the most, if not THE, preachiest books I've ever read. Incredibly heavy-handed; tactless; browbeating; crappy dialogue; predictable; weak skip-a-whole-bunch-of-time ending; cookie-cutter, undeveloped characters. "Boo, Uncle! You are a racist!" "What?? I am not a racist!" "Yes you are! You are a bad racist! Boo!"

These are IMPORTANT topics -- and they can absolutely be handled more maturely. This book talks down to both kids and adults.

--------------

We start right off with fear-mongering "This world gets scarier and scarier" on the FIRST PAGE. Nah, friend: let's talk about how the 24/7 news cycle makes the world seem scarier when it's safer than ever.

There's already an entire online community/special-made website for a book series that just recently released its second book?

"Lyon is named after Aunt Joanne's favorite city in France. She's never been there, but she's sure it's like no other city in the world." Um...what? Excuse me, whaaaat? I think this was meant to be funny but it's just weird.

My god. Shut up about your weird PB&Js.

Every single person is identified by their skin color. 

Could we maybe have a kid not spend all their free time playing stupid cell phone games? And I quote, "I play Cactus Smash on my phone until I get bored, and then there's nothing to do but watch trees blur by." Y'heard of BOOKS ever?

ALL OF THESE COUSINS HAVE OBNOXIOUS MATCHING ALLITERATIVE NAMES

Aunt Joanne gives this speech about micro-aggressions and how to have the conversations about "just because you didn't mean to step on someone's foot doesn't mean it didn't hurt," but...truly didn't do that with Gram at Thanksgiving at all? Just got pissy and silent. Listen to yourself, lady.

"The hard thing about accidentally saying the wrong thing is that you don't know it's the wrong thing until you've already said it and hurt someone. And even if you didn't mean it that way, you can't take it back." ...Which is why we ALL need to be willing to learn and apologize and teach and forgive. So far, all I'm gathering from this book is that it's ONLY the fault of the person causing offense and the person being offended is completely 100% in the right and owes nothing to anybody even though THEY THEMSELVES are the one who can explain "the change they wish to see in the world."

[Akoss · Rating 4 out of 5]

@Kidlitexchange #partner - I received a copy of this book from the Kidlitexchange network in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

Releases 9/25/18

Jilly P is observant and likes to think of herself as a problem solver. When a challenge arises, Jilly P will meet it all the way. After the joyful birth of her baby sister is quickly eclipsed by unforeseen challenges, Jilly P takes matters into her own hands to adapt and bring her family up to speed when it comes to the Deaf community.

This book is so much more than my summary. Jilly P’s family is diverse and that aspect adds such a vast range of social commentary (Black Lives Matter, LGBTQIA, etc…) to this book I was not expecting. I believe race issues were handled realistically and the character of Aunt Alicia was well rounded. I was worried she would’ve been written to “preach to white people about Black issues”.
Young readers will walk away from this book with a lot to discuss and think about but the one that stood out to me the most was that people make mistakes. How they react from that can change the world if they aren’t afraid of learning from their mistakes and do better.

I love Jilly P so much. She knows what she wants and doesn’t want. She is also open-minded and doesn’t let the fear of uncertainty (or other) get in the way of things she wants to accomplish. If we all take a page from her book, we can make the world a better place for marginalized communities with small but impactful daily acts.

[Laura Gardner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to @scholasticinc for the free book!
~*~*~*~*~*
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 for this thought-provoking MG book by #alexgino
~*~*~*~*~*
Jilly (white, hearing) is introduced to the complexities of the Deaf community, as well as the Black Lives Matter movement in this moving coming of age story by the author of GEORGE.
~*~*~*~*~*
YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING, JILLY P sucked me right in and never let me go.
Here’s why I loved it: ❤️
~*~* honest conversations like the ones between Jilly and her Black Aunt Alicia (her Aunt Joanne’s wife) about racism and how to stand up for others
❤️
~*~* students will learn a lot about the debate over cochlear implants in the Deaf community—is it a tool or a cure? So fascinating. Jilly’s friend Derek (who is Deaf) schools her...and the reader in Deaf culture and ASL rules. ❤️
~*~*the title. It gets right to the heart of things. The realization that you don’t know everything and you’re bound to make mistakes and offend someone is tough, but oh so real. Jilly learns it’s inevitable to make mistakes “the hard thing about accidentally saying the wrong thing is that you don’t know it’s the wrong thing until you already said it and hurt someone. And even if you didn’t mean it that way, you can’t take it back.” 😢
❤️
~*~*Alex Gino does an excellent job explaining the damage of microaggressions, as well as the responsibility white people have to speak up when they witness those. The afterword is a beautifully written explanation of how Gino came to write this book, including the sensitivity readers he sought out.

[Magen - Inquiring Professional Dog Trainer · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

I'm glad I read the book to the very end because Alex Gino lays out their privilege and discusses why they wrote this book. First, I will say it is clear from their note that they are connected with the deaf community through biological relatives and this is likely why I felt this book was pretty solid on its treatment of disability. Second, it also makes it clear that they have no such connection to communities of color and that is likely why I had so much more trouble with their protrayal of people of color.

I respect that authors like Alex Gino and Jodi Picoult want to write books that encourage white readers to think more carefully about their own privilege and to hopefully learn to check their use of microaggressions. Their heart is in the right place, but like this book says over and over, it doesn't matter what the intention was, it can still hurt. And frankly, this book hurt me to read, because I know that most white readers will read this book and think they really understand what it is to be black and/or deaf. But they won't. They will think they have an idea of what it is to be a young black deaf male in the era of Black Lives Matter and they absolutely will not. Books like this can do harm and I think it does harm when they leave white people feeling perfectly okay with their privilege at the end. This book will spark little change. Books like The Hate U Give and Between the World and Me ARE the kinds of books that will change the dialogue because those make white people, myself included, feel uncomfortable. I had to spend time after those books seriously questioning my role in institutionalized racism. Books like Small Great Things and You Don't Know Everything, Jilly P! don't because they are designed to make everyone happy in the end. Institutionalized racism is not a topic we should be walking away from feeling warm and fuzzy. Below, I list some specific instances of how this book, which is supposed to cause white readers to stop using microaggressions, essentially reinforces microaggressions. For the record, I am a white disabled hearing queer woman.

There is a problem with a book that has this line in it

"well, saying you forgot they're Black is kind of like saying you expect everyone to be white"

and then a few pages later has a description that implies the character is white

"A man with a curly red beard..."

Or that provides a vivid and detailed description for white skin tones, but not for black skin tones.

"The women both have short brown hair and pale white skin."
"a Black teenager sits next to her mom..."
"She is short with rosy pink skin"

I also have a problem with a white hearing author writing about the personal experiences of what it is like to be black and/ or deaf, regardless of intentions. It is one thing to include diversity; it is another to claim to know what it is to live that diverse experience. At the very least, it provides an account which lacks nuance, and at the worst, is inaccurate, stereotypical, or even racist or ableist. This book definitely lacked nuance and very much felt like a caricature of minority populations. Also, it's preachy in a way that will shut down most readers who haven't already grappled with their privilege. Subtly is always more effective than preaching and it's way more realistic. If you want to have conversations about racism, ableism, or their intersection, look for books written by people of color and/ or disabled people. #WeNeedDiversity #OwnVoices

[Cande · Rating 4 out of 5]

MY HEART!! this book!!

Alex Gino is such a genius. The characters are so delightful, so sympathetic and real. Their voices are so honest, so credible. Jilly makes mistakes but she's constantly learning. She wants to be a good ally, friend and sister. The world would be such a better place if more adults would act like Jilly. Sure, she says the wrong things, sometimes she has the best intentions but she still messed up. But she owns her mistakes and she always stands up for the people she loves.

Okay, I'm going to go because I'll start crying again.

I can't wait to read more by the author.

[Odette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh ik ben dol op alle boeken van Alex Gino maar dit is mijn favoriet!

Je leert dingen over de deaf community, en Black Lives Matter en racisme zijn grote onderwerpen in dit boek.

Maar het leukste, knapste aan dit boek vind ik nog wel dat het hoofdpersonage door omstandigheden vanalles leert, en jij daardoor als lezer ook. En dat ze het allemaal goed probeert te doen, en dat lukt natuurlijk niet altijd en dat je alsnog mensen kunt kwetsen omdat je iets verkeerd(s) zegt zonder dat je het zo bedoelde. En dat vind ik een hele mooie levensles die in dit boek verwerkt zit.

Echte aanrader! Vond het ook fijn luisteren op Storytel door de meerdere voorlezers!

[Brenda Kahn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book, Alex Gino's sophomore effort, has a lesson or two to teach and it feels like it, especially at the beginning. That said, they are very important lessons - about white privilege, microaggressions, racism, ableism and assumptions. During the first part of the book, I confess to being annoyed at the overly simplistic way Jilly P. spoke. She does sound younger than the typical seventh-grader. (I'm a middle school librarian) I did flip to the back to read the author's note as I contemplated setting it aside. I'm glad I did. I returned to the narrative and slowly became immersed in the story. Jilly P. owns her mistakes and bravely confronts the racism that exists in her extended family. She also eventually chides her not-racist parents for not talking about racism. There's warmth and humor to soften the tougher parts of the book. This is a brave, important book that would help adults start conversations with the young people they care about. Thoughtful adults and young people will identify their own privilege and hopefully work to change minds and raise consciousnesses.

[Penny · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book feels it was written to be an important book and will be read because of it.

I love reading middle grade books but this felt dumb down because it is for children. This author is not for me, this is my second try and I don't think there will be a third.

[Elysian · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars

You do not know how much I cried while reading this. This is a book I want my kids to grow up with and on another note: This book is not only for children. I think all white people could use a book like this. The representation in this book is wild.

TW: police brutality, racism, ableism

Rep:

- deaf people (also black deaf people)
- homosexual parents
- interracial family

Quick note: Yes, the author is white and writing about black issues, but before you decide reading against this book, because of that I beg you to read through the author's notes at the end of the book and then to decide.

Characters

Jilly is white an hearing and she thinks she knows it all. Her sister is born and she is deaf and that is when everything changes. She and her parents have a lot to learn about deaf people and the deaf community. (and they learn!)

Jilly's aunt is not only a lesbian, but she is black. When she notices a lot of racism in her own family she wonders why nobody talks about racism and tries to support, learn and listen to her aunt. She learns about unintentional racism, police brutality and a lot more.

Plot

It is great, simple and tragic. Jilly makes a lot of mistakes along the way and so do other characters. The book explains and shows hot to be an ally to disabled and black people and it is very educational. + it will make you cry

[Katy O. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thx to @kidlitexchange for this review copy!
.
Still struggling with long typing sessions so I’ll sum this one up with a list:
• incredibly important messages re: inclusion/race/Deaf community/ASL/police brutality/microagressions
• middle grade with a message for ALL
• one of my top MG reads of 2018 and one of my very shortlist of top books of Fall 2018. If you read MG, teach MG, parent MG, librarian MG, this book needs to be on your radar.

[Anniek · Rating 3 out of 5]

I mostly enjoyed this book, and I think it has a lot of valuable lessons to teach young readers. Even so, it fell a little flat for me. The actual story was often overshadowed by the lessons Gino wanted to teach, making those seem a little forced at times and breaking up the flow of the story. I think the book could have benefitted from being a little longer, and more fleshed out.

[The_Sunflower_Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this a long time ago and finally found the name again !!

[LilyElfgreen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hodně důležitá kniha. Ač to není own-voice, skvěle se vypořádává s otázkami racismu a hluchoty. Za sebe můžu mluvit jen o tom druhém a mohu potvrdit, že deaf rep je bravurně zvládnutá. Určitě byste si to měli taky přečíst. Je to middle-grade, takže angličtina je opravdu jednoduchá.

[Naomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from my foreign language teachers in high school as an award. It was definitely for a middle schooler, but I found the story really engaging and I finished it quickly.

[Robin Stevens · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet, earnest book about a girl struggling to understand the world around her. (8+)

*Please note: this review is meant as a recommendation only. If you use it in any marketing material, online or anywhere on a published book without asking permission from me first, I will ask you to remove that use immediately. Thank you!*

[Avery (Book Deviant) · Rating 4 out of 5]

thank you Miss Print for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review!!

i loved this one as much as i loved GEORGE. alex gino is writing intense and badly needed MG books for the next generation.

full review to come!!!

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great story from a teens point of view on how the world is. I feel very inspired by Jilly's story.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book because some parents at my school district were using it to point out what is wrong with our school district. They said the fact that the book was on the reading list at an elementary school showed that the school was teaching "woke leftist crap" and that we are teaching our children to hate themselves or feel guilty for being white. This naturally piqued my curiosity, so I read it. I am so glad I did.
Firstly, as the parent of a Deaf child (well, she's an adult now), I am so happy to see a book that encourages acceptance and a family who works together to include their child. There are so many things that need to be addressed in regards to the Deaf community, and having this sort of representation in a book makes me happy.
Secondly, the book also tackles the issues of race, racism, family, and police violence. It does so in an age-appropriate way. These are issues that need to be addressed, and should be addressed with kids. Yes, even young kids. Contrary to popular belief, children do not live in a bubble of ignorance. They see the news on TV, videos on Instagram, they hear what adults are saying. Some of what they hear is scary and confusing, and as adults we should be talking to our kids about these instances and issues. This book can open up discussions for kids to talk to their parents, teachers, or other adults in their lives about these issues in a safe way.
One of the complaints about this book was that it encourages children for feeling guilt for the color of their skin. While I agree the idea of carrying guilt is unhelpful and unproductive, teaching children to see people for more than the color of their skin or a disability is important starting at a very young age. The lesson here is that we can appreciate and understand that there are differences in appearance and culture, while at the same time affording respect, inclusivity, and equitability.
The purpose of this book was on par with many of the stories we tell our children - meant to entertain and educate. The message is one we need right now, and I don't think that middle grade readers are too young to hear this message.

[IP. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I imagine this book, written by a white, hearing author, may be quite frustrating to read for many people who are Black, Deaf, or Black and Deaf. It's written from the perspective of someone who has only just started thinking about race and about being Deaf, someone who is starting to have conversations with their white family - and, awkwardly, conversations with their Black friends and relatives - about race. I'm sure some people who are in the same stage of their allyship journey may find this validating. What was quite interesting was seeing the character going through the process of making mistakes in allyship, and moving on from the fear of making them.

However, what is really needed at the start are content notes about police brutality and anti-Blackness, and there should be a bit more emphasis about how the character is at the very beginning of their journey of being an ally, rather than depicting them as a hero and white saviour. There was a lot of self-pitying and centring of the white character's sadness about police brutality and racism. What would also help is something at the end to point readers to further reading, particularly by Black, Deaf authors.

The author's note at the end "I hope you can forgive me for killing two Black youths on the pages of this book...for the edification of my main character" made me reduce the 2 stars I was going to award this, to 1 star. Once again, this showed me that all of the suffering of the Black characters in the book was to serve the white people within and reading this book.

[Neha Thakkar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jilly IS nice and IS kind, and still makes others angry and upset. Her family is educated and supportive, and present. But Jilly still has problems, she’s learning about being deaf as her baby sister is deaf. She is learning more about African Americans as her aunt is African American and her cousins are half African American as well. Jilly sees her extended family in new lights as their reactions show her that not all is black and white. What seems “nice” can be hurtful in layers (or as micro aggressions). This book has so many layers, as does Jilly’s favorite fantasy world, Vidalia (also, just got that connection!).

Love. Just pure love. Alex is wonderful at character voice. Their writing captures a child’s thoughts and feelings. Their writing also makes you think about your thoughts and feelings, and how you see and interact with your world. I loved George, and I’m excited to share this one with my students too. Thank you for an excellent book that touches on so many “hard” topics, that so many of our kids live through every day. Yes, it is hard, yes, it is uncomfortable, but by ignoring it, it’s not making it go away. Like Aunt Alicia tells Jilly, “so keep talking and keep asking questions.”

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured Jilly P in just a few hours, and I think that this book is going to be another game changer in middle grade literature. Jilly, white and hearing, looks in from the outside at both the big and small ways that Deaf people are discriminated against after her family discovers her newborn sister is Deaf, as well as the discrimination of black people, like her Aunt Alicia and her cousins. Her online friend is both Deaf and black. Between all these people, Jilly's world opens up wide. She is determined to learn from her mistakes as she tries to understand, and stand up to life's bullies, even the adults she holds dear. Heavy at times, but full of love, learning, and acceptance. Much like Gino's last novel, George, this is another essential and current book that readers of today, at any age, need to have on their list.

[Andee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book more. I loved "George", I'm a huge supporter of #BlackLivesMatter, I'm totally into Harry Potter fandom, I think you should love whomever you want to love, and I majored in Education of the Deaf. I should be IN this book.

However, I never really liked Jillian. Though she was navigating her way through all of the above (not Harry Potter - something similar), I just didn't feel she was all that perceptive. I wish Gino didn't need to cover so. many. issues in this story. Maybe a series would have been better? Tackle one issue per book? It was a lot to put in this middle grade novel.

That being said, I'll still book talk it with 6th graders. There are important lessons and 11 year olds will be able to ignore the things that bothered me.

[vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alex Gino, as they say in the acknowledgments, writes books with the hopes that they will foster discussions between children and caregivers. I love that mentality and the ideas Gino writes about.

In You Don't Know Everything, Jilly P!, we are introduced to Deaf culture; I don't know the last time I read a book that features the Deaf community (and I did learn a lot in that regard). We are also introduced to #BlackLivesMatter issues.

Unfortunately, You Don't Know Everything, Jilly P! suffers from somewhat flat characters, sometimes preachy messages, and the short page count. I feel like we could've gotten more (and I would've felt more) if I had learned more about the nuances and intricacies of Jilly, her family, and friends.

[Kayla Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

You don't know everything, Jilly P is a really good book it's about this girl that loves Vidalia which is an app that kids can talk bout this book called Roses and Thorns while Jilly was on the app she meet a guy named Derek who was deaf and black. Then when her baby sister was born deaf she talks to him to help her understand more about being deaf. In this book, there is also talk about racism because Jilly's aunt is black and so is Derek they talk about how black people aren't save like for white people we don't have to worry about police while black people do for example in the book one of Derek's friends was back and deaf and went out running and a police told her to stop and she didn't hear him because she is deaf and she got shot seven times in the back.