Britain is in a state of national emergency. But it’s not why you might think. Forget nuclear war, abject poverty or mass unemployment. Britain teeters on the brink of collapse because of the waistlines of its inhabitants. The numbers have been crunched, the charts have been projected and the data is in. If Britain continues at its current rate it will be bankrupt by this time next year, crushed under a health crisis no one saw coming. So what to do? A government seeking re-election, a weak opposition, an obese population and a surgeon who seeks immortality through his work are the ingredients for a disastrous cocktail that will see the nation descend into shame. Fat people aren’t just unwelcome … they are illegal.