Prologue:
For the last 10 years I have been a great admirer of the work of Krzysztof Kieślowski. But I was more ignorant, than I am now, about Poland and about other subject matters. I remember that I saw "Blue" and saw it from a musical perspective, because at the time I was already composing music and therefore I was completely distracted from many things that the film approaches, I felt them but linked them all in ways, that now I ... well let's say that I see many doors and I like the possibilities, opening them all.
Later I saw other films, specially my favorite, "Blind Chance", in here something very strange happened to me, I understood what I had felt in "Blue" but in a clearer way. This man had an identity problem with his own country. Well I identified myself with him, I don't know Poland but I know my own country, Portugal, through my experience of course. "Blind Chance" led me to study the story of Poland in the twentieth century, I was so ignorant about it, and in many cases I believe many people are, we do hear in school about National Socialism and the invasion of Poland, some might even have heard about the story of Chopin's music, the radio playing Polonaise, but we can't really imagine what that is like and then years after facing the red army and Communism, and so on... Well my country had slight problems by comparison, every country has its own complexity, and Portugal has its share of axioms that trouble the mind of people that seek individuality and some sort of integrity and want to question everything. "Blind Chance" led me to study a little about the sovereignty that ruled over Poland in 60-70 and 80's. But then again I also have to thank Wojciech Kilar, I felt that same thing that Preisner did in "Blue", that emotional link between the action and the phantom that inhabits in the juxtaposition of ideas that conjure something greater. And then I saw the other films, namely "No End" and I thought that was Kieslowski for me. I wanted to be close to this man, through his work, because I felt very alone, I acknowledged that he was far more intelligent than I am and I wanted to grasp some sort of solution to live without this torment. I was clearly moved also when I found politics on the background, very unfocused, and clearly not present at all really, in his ten commandments, Decalogue, and the amazingly allegorical film "A Short Story About Love". So after having said this, after had seen everything except the documentaries I read this book.
The Review:
I own some books by Faber and Faber, Cronenberg on Cronenberg and Lynch on Lynch were the first I have read and their structure is very similar, interviews , long ones, were the author just exposes the raw and therefore mainly unedited interviews with the directors, Cassavetes on Cassavetes is the same, but Ray Carney dug a little deeper, because Cassavetes was a little more open too, David Lynch is a pretty cagey man and Cronenberg also (but in different ways).
In Here, Kieslowski exposes himself in an autobiographical prose way, were the interviews dissolved into prose. The good old journalism but with the approval of Kieślowski.
I loved it, despite the fact that I was seeing the strings from the puppet master. Kieślowski also hides and in fact he uses the Houdini trick, "Look at that, this way", and later because of his own insecurity he says ,"I will never talk about this". This approach conquered me, because in reality he is saying things in a very honest way, the best way that he can, through his own filter and he even gives you hints were he might be playing you. He implies, if you want to find out look for it, through your feelings. (What I always felt through my confusion)
Some stories are absurdly comical, and you have to laugh so won't cry, because the state of affairs in Poland was terrible, really. And he survived and through pain he conquered. I also identified myself with this, all of us, I believe, have this inner dome where things get broken and we have to find solutions, but we will always know what broke and why it did broke, we just feel stupid because we thought we were unbreakable. Everyone that survives anything conquers.
I just felt that he fell on another trap. You can sense it on background in his last trilogy.
In the last chapter, Kieślowski, gives you his insight into what "Blue" really is for him, in many many ways. Nowadays I understand what I felt all the way, with the help of Preisner and Kilar, Kieślowski wanted to be free. Really free. Free from the horrors, the terrors of other people's mistakes and be free, free to live his own mistakes his own way.
This is the trap. This is what I have learned with this book, maybe I already knew this, maybe I am lucky, maybe I am just living a fantasy. But I believe you can only understand what you perceive, you are a slave of what you isolate. This is also what happens in "Blue". There is a shot, a very humble one, were Julie is carrying a box that says "Bianco" that is Italian for "white", many people may think this is on occasion, a hap, but for me it isn't. Blue is for Liberty and White is for Equality. He knew, only a certain sense of freedom will lead to equality.
This very intelligent man understood because he felt it. To be free is an illusion. You are not free until you turn off your filter. Because there is nothing to filter. Nothing exists. We create things and live to manage the things that we create on top of what others have created. And only Love will save us, from ourselves.
I like to think that he understood, that filmmaking was the trap. I like to fantasize that he knew, what we offer others is what we are, and that is the best thing we can do. Other people may use our traps to get out of theirs, and maybe, just maybe, we start to feel this notion of fractality that will, therefore never end. We just need to stop. We just need silence.
Of course it is very easy, right now, to understand all of this, but to program yourself to live this way is also not the way, because you still want to be free. You just want to know. How is it to be free. How is it ?
Through meditation I find it everyday, I just can't accept it enough. This is life.
Thank you Krzysztof Kieślowski, for your pain. For your intelligence. For everything. May your soul rest in peace.