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Pure
Pure is the true story of Rose Bretécher's life and struggle with 'Pure O', a rampant but little-known type of OCD whereby sufferers experience intrusive, 'unthinkable' thoughts, often sexual or violent in content. It tracks her farcical, decade-long path to redemption, from the moment she was first seized by incessant sexual mental images to her eventual recovery through therapy, acceptance and love.
Rose tells the story of how fear, confusion and an obsessive search for her own identity dogged her for over a decade, with both humour and grace. She describes how intrusive thoughts coloured even the most euphoric experiences of her youth – how Jake Gyllenhaal's face melted into a chubby vagina even as she danced with him in a music video, and how she sat in the mansion of the founders of Lonely Planet, all the while imagining them bumming across the patio…
Eventually, after stepping back from the iron railings of a snow-swept balcony in east London, Rose learns to find joy in the insurmountable truth that when it comes to who we are, there are no neat conclusions.
Ultimately, Pure is about uncertainty and insecurity, and how trying to banish these things in the pursuit of happiness will paradoxically make us unhappy. It is about finding beauty in greyness, and embracing the unfathomable weirdness of the human mind.
Rose tells the story of how fear, confusion and an obsessive search for her own identity dogged her for over a decade, with both humour and grace. She describes how intrusive thoughts coloured even the most euphoric experiences of her youth – how Jake Gyllenhaal's face melted into a chubby vagina even as she danced with him in a music video, and how she sat in the mansion of the founders of Lonely Planet, all the while imagining them bumming across the patio…
Eventually, after stepping back from the iron railings of a snow-swept balcony in east London, Rose learns to find joy in the insurmountable truth that when it comes to who we are, there are no neat conclusions.
Ultimately, Pure is about uncertainty and insecurity, and how trying to banish these things in the pursuit of happiness will paradoxically make us unhappy. It is about finding beauty in greyness, and embracing the unfathomable weirdness of the human mind.
266 pages, Paperback
First published September 24, 2015
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1923 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 120 reviews
May 3, 2021
2.5 rounded up.
I read other books at the same time as this one, which I don’t normally do. I just didn’t get hooked on it straight away and found myself distracted by other reads.
The author’s story was interesting however I would have preferred it to be told a bit more chronologically. Also didn’t really care for the ‘love story’ part of it.
I read other books at the same time as this one, which I don’t normally do. I just didn’t get hooked on it straight away and found myself distracted by other reads.
The author’s story was interesting however I would have preferred it to be told a bit more chronologically. Also didn’t really care for the ‘love story’ part of it.
February 6, 2016
[APOLOGIES first to the author and to anybody who reads this review, firstly because it might seem very harsh, secondly because it's huge]
There is a great section in this memoir when the author self-deprecatingly includes her story of all the rejections she received from literary agents:
"These letters are targeted messages from the publishing industry to me, and they say, 'your life story is boring, your writing is pitiful, there is nothing to be learned from your experience, and you might want to consider just GROWING THE FUCK UP.'"
Whether these statements are reflective of what was actually said in the rejection letters, or whether they are imagined by the author, I can't help but agree with each of these sentiments to some extent, and especially the last.
Pure is a memoir and psychological autobiography, focusing on a condition suffered by the author called "Pure O", an OCD disorder where the compulsive elements are not outwardly visible. In itself, it is a fascinating condition and a torturous one, and I was very interested in reading about it via the first-hand experiences of a sufferer who as a writer, should be able to articulate its intricacies. The author's variety of obsessional and intrusive thoughts centre on sexual identity, and bombard the sufferer with thousands of hardcore sexual images each day, with the apparent motive of forcing the sufferer to (re)consider her sexual preferences. Hence we have a memoir full of words like "minge", "fok", "fatties" and "mams": while this serves to exemplify the kind of thoughts the author has, it also reads a little like a Loaded magazine letters section, and is quite off-putting.
"How have I, and millions like me, been so spectacularly let down by the professionals charged with our care?"
This is written towards the end of the book, and sums up perfectly the misguided attitude that runs throughout. I am not a psychiatrist, I'm glad to say. I did however work as a psychological therapist in a mental health centre for four years, before I got too thoroughly depressed with the whole situation. This sense of entitlement is very common among mental health service users, the sense that their problem is down to the ineptitude of the therapists and carers, rather than their own physical or psychological dysfunction. What the author suffers from sounds horrendous—but almost as galling is this infantile lack of insight into the subjective nature of psychology, and the inherent limitations in medical care, that she would think that others could, and need to, climb inside her head and "fix" it. Again, as a non-psychiatrist, this is not medical advice, but the author seems to have a physical problem with her brain that may be aided by medication. Perhaps even the same medication that she details she was prescribed, but refused to take.
At one point she forces the reader to traipse with her through her medical record, mocking the attempts of doctors to help her: in one particularly egregious case, she speaks of a doctor who broke out from the mould of brevity when making notes on her medical record to actually detail the steps the doctor took to try to help the author, and then attacks this doctor mercilessly with a "Why wasn't OCD diagnosed then?" and worse, a slanderous statement, "All this doctor had done was collude in my self-defeating behaviour...She'd essentially been acting out a compulsion for me, giving an alcoholic a drink." This is a facile and ungrateful temper-tantrum, and is as ugly to read as it is to watch a snotty child screaming in Asda because it refuses to leave without toys and sweets.
There's an overarching entitlement in this memoir, demonstrated many times but exemplified by this, the author's unhelpful assessment of psychiatry and medical professionals, basically as "useless", because they are not perfect and can't always diagnose precisely the nuanced disorder that the author suffers from. There is this strange dichotomy whereby the author blames all health professionals and the NHS for not being good enough, yet still expects them all to suddenly get together and fix it, rather than see that it's perhaps a learning process for everybody.
It's a...brave?...entitled?...narcissistic?...thing to write a memoir when you are young and have made no impact on humanity. Great fiction is often memoir, subtly adjusted, and I think the author could have made a good fictional character. As a memoir however, this is predictably dull, and often churlish. The author lives in East London among "hipsters", and frequently bashes them for their vein fakery, and yet the vernacular employed in the book is very hipster. Worse, as I've mentioned, it's very "lad's mag". "New lads" were the hipsters of the 1990s, so what we in fact have is somebody slightly behind-the-times attacking people who aren't. She never seems to consider that people might dress the way they do because they enjoy it, or like the style, rather than want to perpetuate a fake image. In essence, the author is a bigot, and yet she implores us to empathise with her situation on every page. She writes of countless "me against them" scenarios and for me, this produced a real disconnect: I always sided with the "thems".
One of the biggest offenders in this regard are the frequent, somewhat psychotic references to "Hollywood"—that "it" shows us this certain thing happening, but in reality things are totally different, and therefore it is bad or culpable. I'm assuming she means the movie industry and not the actual place. Here the author shows that she generalises firstly all artistic filmic output, and secondly the experiences of everybody but her—i.e. that "Hollywood" (for example, The Godfather and Paul Blart:Mall Cop) depicts reality for nobody. It's a strange, truculent and distasteful attitude, and it made me lose empathy for the author.
Similarly, there is a part of the book where she namedrops Jake Gyllenhaal, as she has used her new media connections to appear as an extra in a video he is starring in. The author feigns nonchalance at this like a teenager might do as a normal part of their development. She attacks the other extras for being so shallow that they want to be near Jake Gyllenhaal, and so desperate to be needed that they pretend to be in a nightclub enjoying themselves. It never crosses the author's mind that some of these other people might view it as "a bit of fun". Perhaps they even like nightclubs and dancing. The author's illness has led to her spending a lifetime pretending that she's happy, or having fun, so that she doesn't stand out as abnormal—it seems she temporarily forgets this fact from time to time, and makes the normative assumption that everybody else does likewise: well I for one can count myself lucky that despite some social awkwardness at various times, I go out to places because for me it is enjoyable—not because I want to pretend it is.
The study of the author's life so far has interesting sections, but overall is not that interesting. It is repetitive, as you might imagine it would be when discussing a highly-repetitive, obsessive condition. There is a lot of filler, not especially well-written—very personal accounts of love and relationships that to be honest are needlessly fleshed-out and don't add to the progression of the narrative regarding her condition and how she learns to at least begin to overcome it. The timeline is all over the place too, and not very well-linked. Sections of the book about the Pure O condition could use additional research and more perspectives to be helpful or more interesting. The author mentions a man she knows who had paedophillic obsessive thoughts and went to jail, almost losing his marriage—leaving me thinking, That's who I want to read about! A short description or interview with another sufferer might have made the book much more interesting and important.
The quality of the writing in this memoir is patchy, as is the editing. Too-frequently the author relies on hackneyed magazine and social media-speak, for example, my most-hated trend, the NEEDLESS. PUNCTUATION. AND. CAPITILISATION. FOR. EMPHASIS. It's not all bad; there is one particularly heartfelt section about her father and brother wanting to protect her—for me, the high-point of the whole book—that is nicely written. The editing of this e-book edition has a few mistakes in it, and one very-noticeable repetition of a paragraph, where the words were slightly changed (i.e. "edited", and then both paras were left in). There are attempts at more creative writing but they are often not especially original, and they seem randomly placed.
Overall, I don't know what this book was going for, with the exception of catharsis for the author. It vaguely hints at a solution to this disorder by bad-mouthing all psychological therapy except behavioural therapies, but I can't help but feel that this is an intensely personal solution for the author and may be unhelpful to many sufferers who may benefit from medication and other talk-therapies. This is a memoir that you don't need to read, about somebody you don't need to know, who offers little but bile, cynicism and bitchiness towards many groups of people despite occasionally producing some touching prose, and who starts an exploration of a very tragic and interesting mental disorder but fails to do it justice or make you care too much about it.
There is a great section in this memoir when the author self-deprecatingly includes her story of all the rejections she received from literary agents:
"These letters are targeted messages from the publishing industry to me, and they say, 'your life story is boring, your writing is pitiful, there is nothing to be learned from your experience, and you might want to consider just GROWING THE FUCK UP.'"
Whether these statements are reflective of what was actually said in the rejection letters, or whether they are imagined by the author, I can't help but agree with each of these sentiments to some extent, and especially the last.
Pure is a memoir and psychological autobiography, focusing on a condition suffered by the author called "Pure O", an OCD disorder where the compulsive elements are not outwardly visible. In itself, it is a fascinating condition and a torturous one, and I was very interested in reading about it via the first-hand experiences of a sufferer who as a writer, should be able to articulate its intricacies. The author's variety of obsessional and intrusive thoughts centre on sexual identity, and bombard the sufferer with thousands of hardcore sexual images each day, with the apparent motive of forcing the sufferer to (re)consider her sexual preferences. Hence we have a memoir full of words like "minge", "fok", "fatties" and "mams": while this serves to exemplify the kind of thoughts the author has, it also reads a little like a Loaded magazine letters section, and is quite off-putting.
"How have I, and millions like me, been so spectacularly let down by the professionals charged with our care?"
This is written towards the end of the book, and sums up perfectly the misguided attitude that runs throughout. I am not a psychiatrist, I'm glad to say. I did however work as a psychological therapist in a mental health centre for four years, before I got too thoroughly depressed with the whole situation. This sense of entitlement is very common among mental health service users, the sense that their problem is down to the ineptitude of the therapists and carers, rather than their own physical or psychological dysfunction. What the author suffers from sounds horrendous—but almost as galling is this infantile lack of insight into the subjective nature of psychology, and the inherent limitations in medical care, that she would think that others could, and need to, climb inside her head and "fix" it. Again, as a non-psychiatrist, this is not medical advice, but the author seems to have a physical problem with her brain that may be aided by medication. Perhaps even the same medication that she details she was prescribed, but refused to take.
At one point she forces the reader to traipse with her through her medical record, mocking the attempts of doctors to help her: in one particularly egregious case, she speaks of a doctor who broke out from the mould of brevity when making notes on her medical record to actually detail the steps the doctor took to try to help the author, and then attacks this doctor mercilessly with a "Why wasn't OCD diagnosed then?" and worse, a slanderous statement, "All this doctor had done was collude in my self-defeating behaviour...She'd essentially been acting out a compulsion for me, giving an alcoholic a drink." This is a facile and ungrateful temper-tantrum, and is as ugly to read as it is to watch a snotty child screaming in Asda because it refuses to leave without toys and sweets.
There's an overarching entitlement in this memoir, demonstrated many times but exemplified by this, the author's unhelpful assessment of psychiatry and medical professionals, basically as "useless", because they are not perfect and can't always diagnose precisely the nuanced disorder that the author suffers from. There is this strange dichotomy whereby the author blames all health professionals and the NHS for not being good enough, yet still expects them all to suddenly get together and fix it, rather than see that it's perhaps a learning process for everybody.
It's a...brave?...entitled?...narcissistic?...thing to write a memoir when you are young and have made no impact on humanity. Great fiction is often memoir, subtly adjusted, and I think the author could have made a good fictional character. As a memoir however, this is predictably dull, and often churlish. The author lives in East London among "hipsters", and frequently bashes them for their vein fakery, and yet the vernacular employed in the book is very hipster. Worse, as I've mentioned, it's very "lad's mag". "New lads" were the hipsters of the 1990s, so what we in fact have is somebody slightly behind-the-times attacking people who aren't. She never seems to consider that people might dress the way they do because they enjoy it, or like the style, rather than want to perpetuate a fake image. In essence, the author is a bigot, and yet she implores us to empathise with her situation on every page. She writes of countless "me against them" scenarios and for me, this produced a real disconnect: I always sided with the "thems".
One of the biggest offenders in this regard are the frequent, somewhat psychotic references to "Hollywood"—that "it" shows us this certain thing happening, but in reality things are totally different, and therefore it is bad or culpable. I'm assuming she means the movie industry and not the actual place. Here the author shows that she generalises firstly all artistic filmic output, and secondly the experiences of everybody but her—i.e. that "Hollywood" (for example, The Godfather and Paul Blart:Mall Cop) depicts reality for nobody. It's a strange, truculent and distasteful attitude, and it made me lose empathy for the author.
Similarly, there is a part of the book where she namedrops Jake Gyllenhaal, as she has used her new media connections to appear as an extra in a video he is starring in. The author feigns nonchalance at this like a teenager might do as a normal part of their development. She attacks the other extras for being so shallow that they want to be near Jake Gyllenhaal, and so desperate to be needed that they pretend to be in a nightclub enjoying themselves. It never crosses the author's mind that some of these other people might view it as "a bit of fun". Perhaps they even like nightclubs and dancing. The author's illness has led to her spending a lifetime pretending that she's happy, or having fun, so that she doesn't stand out as abnormal—it seems she temporarily forgets this fact from time to time, and makes the normative assumption that everybody else does likewise: well I for one can count myself lucky that despite some social awkwardness at various times, I go out to places because for me it is enjoyable—not because I want to pretend it is.
The study of the author's life so far has interesting sections, but overall is not that interesting. It is repetitive, as you might imagine it would be when discussing a highly-repetitive, obsessive condition. There is a lot of filler, not especially well-written—very personal accounts of love and relationships that to be honest are needlessly fleshed-out and don't add to the progression of the narrative regarding her condition and how she learns to at least begin to overcome it. The timeline is all over the place too, and not very well-linked. Sections of the book about the Pure O condition could use additional research and more perspectives to be helpful or more interesting. The author mentions a man she knows who had paedophillic obsessive thoughts and went to jail, almost losing his marriage—leaving me thinking, That's who I want to read about! A short description or interview with another sufferer might have made the book much more interesting and important.
The quality of the writing in this memoir is patchy, as is the editing. Too-frequently the author relies on hackneyed magazine and social media-speak, for example, my most-hated trend, the NEEDLESS. PUNCTUATION. AND. CAPITILISATION. FOR. EMPHASIS. It's not all bad; there is one particularly heartfelt section about her father and brother wanting to protect her—for me, the high-point of the whole book—that is nicely written. The editing of this e-book edition has a few mistakes in it, and one very-noticeable repetition of a paragraph, where the words were slightly changed (i.e. "edited", and then both paras were left in). There are attempts at more creative writing but they are often not especially original, and they seem randomly placed.
Overall, I don't know what this book was going for, with the exception of catharsis for the author. It vaguely hints at a solution to this disorder by bad-mouthing all psychological therapy except behavioural therapies, but I can't help but feel that this is an intensely personal solution for the author and may be unhelpful to many sufferers who may benefit from medication and other talk-therapies. This is a memoir that you don't need to read, about somebody you don't need to know, who offers little but bile, cynicism and bitchiness towards many groups of people despite occasionally producing some touching prose, and who starts an exploration of a very tragic and interesting mental disorder but fails to do it justice or make you care too much about it.
August 10, 2019
Omg THANK YOU ROSE for writing this book. I ordered it to be sent from England because there was nothing like it in Australia. Yes there are books about OCD, but not about Pure O and not written by young women. I had no idea it existed until it happened to me, and I wished I had a book like this. I’m so glad I now know it is out in the world.
I don’t agree completely with everything in here about OCD treatment (eg. I don’t think anxiety and OCD can necessarily be disentangled within in a person, and the treatment of each is different), but the book is bold, engaging, thought-provoking (no pun intended) and an important story to tell. I’m going to try to pass on my copy to someone else who needs it as much as I did.
I don’t agree completely with everything in here about OCD treatment (eg. I don’t think anxiety and OCD can necessarily be disentangled within in a person, and the treatment of each is different), but the book is bold, engaging, thought-provoking (no pun intended) and an important story to tell. I’m going to try to pass on my copy to someone else who needs it as much as I did.
December 12, 2020
‘Hollywood said it’s good to ‘open up’. But what if you don’t know what you’re opening? How can you ‘let people in’ when you don’t know what’s inside?’
An absolutely brilliant memoir which oozes humour and gives the reader an understanding of OCD Pure-O.
It’s dazzling but dark, hilarious and deeply sad.
A wonderful read. I recommend Pure to educate and amuse and to bring Pure-O into the forefront of MH education generally.
An absolutely brilliant memoir which oozes humour and gives the reader an understanding of OCD Pure-O.
It’s dazzling but dark, hilarious and deeply sad.
A wonderful read. I recommend Pure to educate and amuse and to bring Pure-O into the forefront of MH education generally.
May 3, 2021
I’ve read OCD memoirs before—not too many (I wouldn’t think there are many, considering we only make up an estimated 1% of the population, & how many of that 1% are out there writing memoirs?). (I used to think maybe I’d write a book, but I’ve gone & poured this part of me into fanfiction instead so...sorta?) Anyway, I’ve read OCD memoirs before, usually when I’m not having a good time in brainland & need to feel like I’m not alone or even that I’m not completely batshit, I guess. But this is the first time I’ve come across a memoir written by someone with one of my own obsessive themes, & the relatability of it is shocking. (It probably shouldn’t be, but it is.)
I’ve had OCD for as long as I can remember, but when it’s the only thing you know, you might not realize that you’ve got a problem. My mom remembers taking me to the school psychologist in elementary school, & them telling her not to worry about it if it wasn’t affecting my life...something like that. I don’t personally remember that encounter, but I wouldn’t get a diagnosis until age 21, & I probably wouldn’t have gotten one at that point either had I not done my own research & told the psychiatrist, “I think I have this.” The world isn’t built for OCD people; there’s still misunderstanding among mental health professionals, like Rose talks about in the book. I had a psychiatrist once who told me I didn’t have OCD because I didn’t compulsively wash my hands or flip light switches. I hated going there because he didn’t believe me, but he took my insurance, & he prescribed my meds anyway. It took a good deal of searching to find a therapist who actually knew what he was talking about, & well, a lot of the time good therapists aren’t contracted with insurance in this country. Which is to say, treatment isn’t cheap (once you’re able to jump over all the hoops towards actually getting a diagnosis), & therefore not attainable for many people. I digress.
The author captures the debilitating nature of OCD—which the WHO notes as one of the 10 most debilitating illnesses—the anguish, the brain that just won’t shut the fuck up no matter what you do. Even when you have the tools in your arsenal to cope, it still comes out of nowhere & drags you down. It can completely ruin your life if you don’t know how to cope. I manage mine with a combo of lifestyle factors (like dietary changes), medication, & therapy, & even though I’ve come miles from where I was 10 years ago, it’s still an uphill slope a lot of the time.
Which is to say, this isn’t the colloquial “I’m so OCD” that people like to throw around.
I’d recommend this for anyone who’d like a better understanding of OCD or for someone like me who is looking for something relatable that can also remind you that 1. there’s hope & 2. you’ve got this. Also, she writes with a sense of humor, which is always a plus.
I’ve had OCD for as long as I can remember, but when it’s the only thing you know, you might not realize that you’ve got a problem. My mom remembers taking me to the school psychologist in elementary school, & them telling her not to worry about it if it wasn’t affecting my life...something like that. I don’t personally remember that encounter, but I wouldn’t get a diagnosis until age 21, & I probably wouldn’t have gotten one at that point either had I not done my own research & told the psychiatrist, “I think I have this.” The world isn’t built for OCD people; there’s still misunderstanding among mental health professionals, like Rose talks about in the book. I had a psychiatrist once who told me I didn’t have OCD because I didn’t compulsively wash my hands or flip light switches. I hated going there because he didn’t believe me, but he took my insurance, & he prescribed my meds anyway. It took a good deal of searching to find a therapist who actually knew what he was talking about, & well, a lot of the time good therapists aren’t contracted with insurance in this country. Which is to say, treatment isn’t cheap (once you’re able to jump over all the hoops towards actually getting a diagnosis), & therefore not attainable for many people. I digress.
The author captures the debilitating nature of OCD—which the WHO notes as one of the 10 most debilitating illnesses—the anguish, the brain that just won’t shut the fuck up no matter what you do. Even when you have the tools in your arsenal to cope, it still comes out of nowhere & drags you down. It can completely ruin your life if you don’t know how to cope. I manage mine with a combo of lifestyle factors (like dietary changes), medication, & therapy, & even though I’ve come miles from where I was 10 years ago, it’s still an uphill slope a lot of the time.
Which is to say, this isn’t the colloquial “I’m so OCD” that people like to throw around.
I’d recommend this for anyone who’d like a better understanding of OCD or for someone like me who is looking for something relatable that can also remind you that 1. there’s hope & 2. you’ve got this. Also, she writes with a sense of humor, which is always a plus.
March 22, 2019
(8.5/10)
I read this purely (no pun intended) after watching the channel 4 tv series inspired by this book. This book is a memoir of Cartwright's journey. What she went through as a teenager when she started to have intrusive thoughts about sex (some of them quite violent), how she dealt - or rather didn't - with it, her struggles to be properly diagnosed and finding a good therapist who could actually help her.
I enjoyed this a lot. Rose Cartwright doesn't really sugarcoat anything and some of the intrusive thoughts she experimented where quite difficult to digest. I can't even begin to image what must have been to live with that, suffering in silence really because she was so ashamed that she didn't tell anyone. Lucky for her, after many years, she found the right therapist and she also realised she had a great group of people around her but the journey to get there wasn't easy, by any means.
I read this purely (no pun intended) after watching the channel 4 tv series inspired by this book. This book is a memoir of Cartwright's journey. What she went through as a teenager when she started to have intrusive thoughts about sex (some of them quite violent), how she dealt - or rather didn't - with it, her struggles to be properly diagnosed and finding a good therapist who could actually help her.
I enjoyed this a lot. Rose Cartwright doesn't really sugarcoat anything and some of the intrusive thoughts she experimented where quite difficult to digest. I can't even begin to image what must have been to live with that, suffering in silence really because she was so ashamed that she didn't tell anyone. Lucky for her, after many years, she found the right therapist and she also realised she had a great group of people around her but the journey to get there wasn't easy, by any means.
April 18, 2019
A really informative & insightful memoir about OCD. Rose Cartwright spent years (more than a decade!) without knowing how to deal (or live) with a specific type of OCD called Pure O - in her case related with intrusive thoughts of sexual nature.
This memoir definitely helps to shed light on OCD, a disorder many people still do not understand the repercussions of.
This memoir definitely helps to shed light on OCD, a disorder many people still do not understand the repercussions of.
January 27, 2019
Four stars for the book itself, five stars because of what it means.
I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and I’ve had it since I was 10 years old. In some ways I’m lucky, because I got diagnosed and treated early, and a lot of my obsessions and compulsions are the ones commonly talked about (contamination, checking, etc.). Obsessions that aren’t so well known are the intrusive thoughts, which can often be of a violent, harmful, or sexual nature. Having these thoughts doesn’t make the person dangerous - it’s just excessive doubt and fear of the worst, which obviously causes great anxiety. Because these topics are perceived as taboo, people don’t really talk about them - and that means that when someone with OCD gets these thoughts, they don’t want to tell anyone for fear that they will be labelled as violent or a pervert or a paedophile (which they are not). Treatment is widely available and can be really helpful, but because of these fears individuals will avoid seeking help, leading to obsessions and compulsions getting worse and their quality of life rapidly deteriorating.
This needs to stop, and Pure is a step towards that change. Rose is so open about her experiences with ‘Pure O’ (OCD that commonly manifests with intrusive thoughts and mental compulsions, making it seem as if the person isn’t doing compulsions when they actually are), and I think it is fantastic that Channel 4 are turning it into a series. This message needs to get out there, and I really hope that as more people learn about this story, there will be greater awareness and acceptance of OCD, leading more individuals feeling able to safely seek help.
I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and I’ve had it since I was 10 years old. In some ways I’m lucky, because I got diagnosed and treated early, and a lot of my obsessions and compulsions are the ones commonly talked about (contamination, checking, etc.). Obsessions that aren’t so well known are the intrusive thoughts, which can often be of a violent, harmful, or sexual nature. Having these thoughts doesn’t make the person dangerous - it’s just excessive doubt and fear of the worst, which obviously causes great anxiety. Because these topics are perceived as taboo, people don’t really talk about them - and that means that when someone with OCD gets these thoughts, they don’t want to tell anyone for fear that they will be labelled as violent or a pervert or a paedophile (which they are not). Treatment is widely available and can be really helpful, but because of these fears individuals will avoid seeking help, leading to obsessions and compulsions getting worse and their quality of life rapidly deteriorating.
This needs to stop, and Pure is a step towards that change. Rose is so open about her experiences with ‘Pure O’ (OCD that commonly manifests with intrusive thoughts and mental compulsions, making it seem as if the person isn’t doing compulsions when they actually are), and I think it is fantastic that Channel 4 are turning it into a series. This message needs to get out there, and I really hope that as more people learn about this story, there will be greater awareness and acceptance of OCD, leading more individuals feeling able to safely seek help.
June 13, 2020
I found this memoir after watching the channel 4 series based on it, however it quickly became apparent that the series is completely fictional and really all they have in common is the condition ('Pure O'). The book was insightful, educating and entertaining, and has led me to want to learn more about different forms of OCD, but my one criticism is (not to make myself sound like a perv) that there is never a mention of how Rose's intrusive sexual thoughts impact her real life sexual relationships, which I found kind of strange. Having constant anxiety-inducing graphic sexual thoughts all day must have some kind of effect on her actual sex life? It didn't really make sense to me, when her relationship was seemingly so amazing, to not mention the elephant in the room. Other than that, I definitely recommend this book, it taught me a lot!!
January 13, 2016
I just couldn't get into this. I didn't get enough of a sense of the author as a character to care about her, and there wasn't enough in the way of information for me to be hooked by wanting to learn about this manifestation of OCD. It also seemed pretty repetitive, describing the symptoms long after the point where I was thinking "I get it" and wanted to hear about how it affected her rather than more examples of situations where the symptoms had manifested.
April 14, 2020
As someone who has suffered from OCD since the 3rd grade, this book hit close to home. Rose Bretecher addresses the issues many OCD sufferers face with honesty, humility, and humor. For those who are unfamiliar with OCD and have misconceptions about the disorder, this will be an enlightening read. Thank you Rose for sharing your story and giving individuals with OCD a space to speak the unspeakable.
June 24, 2016
As a sufferer of 'Pure-O', Rose's incredible bravery and ability to talk openly about her condition is wonderful. She has managed to put in words many of the fears and thoughts that I, and countless others, suffer on a daily basis.
Her path to healing though is incredible and really opens my eyes to the fact that this is something I can and will take my life back from.
I have never cried reading a book, except now.
Her path to healing though is incredible and really opens my eyes to the fact that this is something I can and will take my life back from.
I have never cried reading a book, except now.
September 25, 2023
When I was learning about OCD I never thought the name fitted me - there’s so much misunderstanding and misinformation out there. Similarly to how Rose describes, it took me deep internet tunnels of research to learn about Pure O and sexuality OCD. I wish I could go back in time and put this book in my hands, and meet this author in person to give her a huge hug and thank her for writing it.
If you struggle with repetitive distressing thoughts or have someone with OCD in your life (and want to understand what they might be going through), this book is for you. I highlighted the most relatable and resonating passages as I went through and ended up with marks on almost every single page. This is the most relatable and accurate description of Pure O/Primarily Obsessive I’ve ever read, it feels like the author got inside my head and wrote it all down.
I get that I’m effectively screeching my gratitude into the void by posting this on Goodreads, but to Rose Cartwright: thank you for your bravery in sharing this story that is experienced by so many people but feels so insurmountable to discuss and comprehend. I wish there was a six star option specifically for this book.
If you struggle with repetitive distressing thoughts or have someone with OCD in your life (and want to understand what they might be going through), this book is for you. I highlighted the most relatable and resonating passages as I went through and ended up with marks on almost every single page. This is the most relatable and accurate description of Pure O/Primarily Obsessive I’ve ever read, it feels like the author got inside my head and wrote it all down.
I get that I’m effectively screeching my gratitude into the void by posting this on Goodreads, but to Rose Cartwright: thank you for your bravery in sharing this story that is experienced by so many people but feels so insurmountable to discuss and comprehend. I wish there was a six star option specifically for this book.
October 7, 2020
I thoroughly enjoyed this book from start to finish! I loved the TV series when it came out so I knew what the premise of the book was going to be. I am actually really pleased that there are big differences between the TV narrative and the book narrative. As whilst I kind of knew what was going to happen I was still surprised at certain things.
Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant!
Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant!
January 11, 2022
Wanted to re-read this book after recommending it to a lovely friend who wanted to understand more about OCD. Inspired once again by Rose’s raw vulnerability and strength to deal with such internal torment for so many years, producing a book that will save so many OCD sufferers from themselves.
May 11, 2019
Although I found this in a incredibly difficult and confronting read at times I also found it comforting and reassuring. A book I will definitely pass on to friends and family to help them understand this debilitating illness.
June 1, 2025
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP 😭 this book is the most honest depiction of OCD I have ever seen, like literally brutally rawly honest. It felt like someone was inside my brain. All the little nuances of how it affects your life … just wow. So well put into words. I want to be friends with Rose 😂❤️
March 28, 2019
I don’t have OCD, but many of Rose’s struggles to come to terms with her mental illness, and to get help for it, rang very close to home for me. This is a fascinating, beautifully written memoir that was difficult to read in places, but I’m so glad that I did. I wish her journey to recovery all the best.
December 19, 2023
Really informative memoir about ocd. It’s not often that ocd is accurately portrayed in the media and it felt so important to read someone else’s experience of learning that they have ocd and the struggle of getting helpful treatment. Definitely made me feel seen, understood, and not alone.
September 14, 2023
🍑 A memoir by a woman who has had "Pure O" OCD since teenhood, particularly sexual intrusive thoughts and extreme doubts about her sexuality.
🍆 The structure and writing of the book was barely passable. It wasn't particularly well-written, funny or often insightful, and it was told in a non-chronological way that made it very difficult to follow what was happening. I find it telling that she details getting many rejection letters from publishers until she asked a friend who worked in publishing to get her published in the Guardian.
🐱 The problem with a memoir about mental health, especially OCD, is that it's going to by definition be repetitive and self-centred. I didn't especially like Rose as a narrator. She was deeply judgemental and hypocritical, and never tried to see things from other people's perspectives. She also was (I assume) well-versed in Pure O, but said some things about related disorders (OCD and addiction) that were objectively false.
🍈 All I can really praise this book for is for shining a light on a little-discussed mental disorder, and "it exists" isn't much of a commendation.
🍆 The structure and writing of the book was barely passable. It wasn't particularly well-written, funny or often insightful, and it was told in a non-chronological way that made it very difficult to follow what was happening. I find it telling that she details getting many rejection letters from publishers until she asked a friend who worked in publishing to get her published in the Guardian.
🐱 The problem with a memoir about mental health, especially OCD, is that it's going to by definition be repetitive and self-centred. I didn't especially like Rose as a narrator. She was deeply judgemental and hypocritical, and never tried to see things from other people's perspectives. She also was (I assume) well-versed in Pure O, but said some things about related disorders (OCD and addiction) that were objectively false.
🍈 All I can really praise this book for is for shining a light on a little-discussed mental disorder, and "it exists" isn't much of a commendation.
October 10, 2015
Can I give more than five stars, please? Wow. What a beautiful read. I've only just finished the book an hour ago, and so I'm still simply trying to come to terms with all that I read and all the ways in which I relate to Rose. I'll post a full review later, but for now, wow. This book. <3 Thank you, Rose for such an honest account of OCD.
January 11, 2021
Pure OCD is a form of OCD that is much lesser known. Because of that, so many people are suffering in silence! This book thoughtfully, emotionally, and humorously brings it into the light. An excellent read.
May 19, 2020
3.9 - fui enganada pela adaptação do Channel 4 e esse erro é somente meu. Com algumas descrições detalhadas (mexidas e remexidas na edição) e uma história muito bem contada.
September 30, 2024
This is the first review I’ve left where I actually feel bad for not rating it higher. First and foremost, it’s positive is that it definitely educated me on a mental health condition I didn’t even know existed before starting it. I’d never heard of the form of OCD referred to as ‘Pure O’ before and was only really aware of the neat/tidy version. From a purely educational standpoint, this book was great for teaching me about an incredibly debilitating mental health condition and how hard it can be to speak about openly with the shame it carries, in order to get professionally diagnosed. Aside from that, I really struggled with it. I feel so bad for saying this because it’s such a deeply personal and soul baring memoir, which must have taken so much bravery to share! But unfortunately, the fact that it’s not written in chronological order made it hard to follow and didn’t seem to serve any purpose, especially when dealing with the intricacies of Rose’s condition. The writing style, incessant use of slang and repetition of phrases was also irritating. Finally, I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I also felt an element of distance between Rose’s description of her experience and her internal monologue, which makes no sense whatsoever as she is the one narrating her own story? A lot of people seem to prefer the tv series however, so I may give that a go!
December 6, 2022
I started this after watching the tv show that it’s based on, which I loved so much for being one of the only accurate portrayals of OCD in the media. I was so excited to read this, and expected to devour it in a few days, but halfway through, I ended up putting it aside for several months.
The show left me in tears multiple times for how absolutely real it felt, and the relief that something like it exists in the world as a piece of art. Even after being diagnosed for several years, the show opened up several new conversations and ways to help my husband understand what it’s like in my head all the time. So I expected the book to be similar - maybe even something I could give to my parents to read (something a little tamer than the necessary but still graphic show.)
But there’s a distance in the book that I can’t quite figure out. We get lots of detail of Rose’s thoughts, and the way it affected her, but it still feels a little bit…intellectualized, maybe? The time skips (which I usually don’t mind) didn’t seem to serve the story as much as everything being laid out chronologically would have, since it requires a lot of knowledge/remember of Rose’s personal history. Overall, I found the show more relatable, and easier to use as a conversation starter, and I’m usually a book person all the way.
All in all, I’m so grateful for Rose, for the work she does, and for her bravery in sharing her story. And the show wouldn’t exist without this book. So any personal nitpicks aside, I’m glad I read this, and I’m so glad it exists.
The show left me in tears multiple times for how absolutely real it felt, and the relief that something like it exists in the world as a piece of art. Even after being diagnosed for several years, the show opened up several new conversations and ways to help my husband understand what it’s like in my head all the time. So I expected the book to be similar - maybe even something I could give to my parents to read (something a little tamer than the necessary but still graphic show.)
But there’s a distance in the book that I can’t quite figure out. We get lots of detail of Rose’s thoughts, and the way it affected her, but it still feels a little bit…intellectualized, maybe? The time skips (which I usually don’t mind) didn’t seem to serve the story as much as everything being laid out chronologically would have, since it requires a lot of knowledge/remember of Rose’s personal history. Overall, I found the show more relatable, and easier to use as a conversation starter, and I’m usually a book person all the way.
All in all, I’m so grateful for Rose, for the work she does, and for her bravery in sharing her story. And the show wouldn’t exist without this book. So any personal nitpicks aside, I’m glad I read this, and I’m so glad it exists.
February 3, 2020
An interesting look at OCD, I hadn't heard of Bretécher's form of the condition before and this book opened my eyes to the many distressing forms it can take.
I really enjoyed the TV show, probably actually more than the book which lost me towards the end, but definitely a must read for anyone interested in mental health.
I really enjoyed the TV show, probably actually more than the book which lost me towards the end, but definitely a must read for anyone interested in mental health.
March 27, 2019
A completely different story to the tv series which I wasn’t expecting however I still really enjoyed this. It’s feels like a very different a kind of mix up of fiction and auto biography which looks at issues which I think most people will have experienced elements of at some point ie: OCD not necessarily the intrusive thoughts....!
March 7, 2024
finally finished this! it took me a while cause there was a quite a few gut punches in here and just honestly quite difficult to listen to sometimes but very worth it in the end! I obviously had a little cry when it ended because I always do!
December 9, 2025
compellingly written, hugely entertaining and interesting even after having watch the series years ago
Rose is amazing at capturing and explaining her thought processes and reflecting on them, obvious I guess that she has spent so long within her own mind
Rose is amazing at capturing and explaining her thought processes and reflecting on them, obvious I guess that she has spent so long within her own mind
November 12, 2019
4.5
urgent, important, insightful.
urgent, important, insightful.
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