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things that h(a)unt #2
To Drink Coffee with a Ghost
"You cannot have a funeral for your mother without also having a funeral for yourself." This book poses the ever-lingering question: What happens when someone dies before they're able to redeem themselves?
From the bestselling & award-winning poetess, amanda lovelace, comes the finale of her illustrated duology, "things that h(a)unt." In the first installment, to make monsters out of girls, lovelace explored the memory of being in a toxic romantic relationship. In to drink coffee with a ghost, lovelace unravels the memory of the complicated relationship she had with her now-deceased mother.
From the bestselling & award-winning poetess, amanda lovelace, comes the finale of her illustrated duology, "things that h(a)unt." In the first installment, to make monsters out of girls, lovelace explored the memory of being in a toxic romantic relationship. In to drink coffee with a ghost, lovelace unravels the memory of the complicated relationship she had with her now-deceased mother.
160 pages, Hardcover
First published September 17, 2019
137 people are currently reading
13850 people want to read
About the author
Amanda Lovelace
41 books7,544 followersAmanda Lovelace is a bestselling American poet who rose to fame through her poetry posted to Tumblr and Instagram. She is the author of the women are some kind of magic series, including the Goodreads Choice Award-winning the princess saves herself in this one and women are some kind of magic.
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July 17, 2020
...remember
back when
we always
stayed up
way too late
watching
our favorite
ghost shows
on tv?
This poetry collection was focused on the authors relationship with her mother. A relationship that was complicated and full of pain.
I liked this one better than the first collection in this series which was about being in a toxic relationship.
To drink coffee with a ghost explores the damage someone, who is supposed to love and care for you, can do.
The poems were beautiful and heartbreaking. And really captured the conflicted feelings of the author, who both hated and loved her mother.
I have been reading Lovelace's poetry collections since the first one came out and with each new release I become more and more addicted.
__
My reviews for:
#1 To Make Monsters out of Girls
back when
we always
stayed up
way too late
watching
our favorite
ghost shows
on tv?
- now you’re the ghost story & i can’t bring myself to watch those shows anymore.
This poetry collection was focused on the authors relationship with her mother. A relationship that was complicated and full of pain.
I liked this one better than the first collection in this series which was about being in a toxic relationship.
To drink coffee with a ghost explores the damage someone, who is supposed to love and care for you, can do.
The poems were beautiful and heartbreaking. And really captured the conflicted feelings of the author, who both hated and loved her mother.
I have been reading Lovelace's poetry collections since the first one came out and with each new release I become more and more addicted.
__
My reviews for:
#1 To Make Monsters out of Girls
June 17, 2021
"when she had almost no friends, she had the tiny globes of light. they trailed behind her everywhere she went, & some nights they burned so brightly she did nothing but toss & turn. one day, the globes burned even brighter—so bright she thought it was time to look into the face of death & smile. when they dimmed again, surrounded was she by people who understand every part of her. she never realized what the lights meant till now: the light was always leading her to them, her found family forged in weirdness & laughter.
& it was so good.
oh my god, it was so good."
Whereas the first poetry collection in this duology, To Make Monsters Out of Girls, focused on an abusive romantic relationship, the contents here surrounded an abusive familial one. I am grateful to come from a line of warm, inclusive, supportive, and loving women and so had no point of reference into this collection. Yet, the magic of Lovelace still meant I felt the unspeakable early sorrow and the all-encompassing ending light, that emanated from the pages.
& it was so good.
oh my god, it was so good."
Whereas the first poetry collection in this duology, To Make Monsters Out of Girls, focused on an abusive romantic relationship, the contents here surrounded an abusive familial one. I am grateful to come from a line of warm, inclusive, supportive, and loving women and so had no point of reference into this collection. Yet, the magic of Lovelace still meant I felt the unspeakable early sorrow and the all-encompassing ending light, that emanated from the pages.
August 19, 2020
3.75 stars
I received an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I have read all of Lovelace's collections and I always really enjoy and value them. This one is the second book in the "things that haunt me" series. There are many trigger warnings associated with this book that is stated at the beginning of the collection. (I always appreciate a trigger warnings page.)
This collection mainly deals with grief, sexual assault, and loss. This collection you can tell is very personal to the author as the collection discusses a mother-daughter relationship. It talks about the relationship a child has with their parent and the emotions that go along with not feeling accepted by them. It also deals with grief and we get the perspective of someone who lost a parent and what that is like.
This was a great collection about grief and loss, it also explored topics of toxic relationships, the desire for love and acceptance, the danger and impact of words, and the topic of escapism. I really enjoyed how books and tarot cards were referenced and referred to as an escape to help someone cope.
My only issues with this were that I felt the ending was a bit abrupt and it felt like it did not have a proper close to the collection. But overall I thought it was a really solid collection with an important message. It also had some beautiful illustrations.
I received an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I have read all of Lovelace's collections and I always really enjoy and value them. This one is the second book in the "things that haunt me" series. There are many trigger warnings associated with this book that is stated at the beginning of the collection. (I always appreciate a trigger warnings page.)
This collection mainly deals with grief, sexual assault, and loss. This collection you can tell is very personal to the author as the collection discusses a mother-daughter relationship. It talks about the relationship a child has with their parent and the emotions that go along with not feeling accepted by them. It also deals with grief and we get the perspective of someone who lost a parent and what that is like.
This was a great collection about grief and loss, it also explored topics of toxic relationships, the desire for love and acceptance, the danger and impact of words, and the topic of escapism. I really enjoyed how books and tarot cards were referenced and referred to as an escape to help someone cope.
My only issues with this were that I felt the ending was a bit abrupt and it felt like it did not have a proper close to the collection. But overall I thought it was a really solid collection with an important message. It also had some beautiful illustrations.
Read
August 25, 2019What another wonderful collection by Amanda Lovelace. Centered around grief, a mother’s love and pain, generational trauma, and found family, this collection brought peace to me and reminded me that I’m not alone in my thoughts.
Amanda delivers her poetry in a way that brings comfort to their readers who were looking for a mirror to see themselves in while also taking readers on a journey through a piece of Amanda’s life that’s utterly unique. Her raw and ethereal writing never fails to inspire me and make me want to hug those around me and thank them for the love they have to offer. This is definitely one of my favorite collections by her because it brings forth hope and reminds us that while our past may cut, we must remember that our future has the power to heal.
THIS BOOK WAS PROVIDED TO ME BY THE PUBLISHER IN EXCHANGE FOR AN HONEST REVIEW.
Amanda delivers her poetry in a way that brings comfort to their readers who were looking for a mirror to see themselves in while also taking readers on a journey through a piece of Amanda’s life that’s utterly unique. Her raw and ethereal writing never fails to inspire me and make me want to hug those around me and thank them for the love they have to offer. This is definitely one of my favorite collections by her because it brings forth hope and reminds us that while our past may cut, we must remember that our future has the power to heal.
THIS BOOK WAS PROVIDED TO ME BY THE PUBLISHER IN EXCHANGE FOR AN HONEST REVIEW.
August 13, 2019
ARC provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
"you were never the point to my story. i am."
I've had polarizing experiences with lovelace's work, I've either absolutely fallen in love with it ( the princess saves herself in this one & the witch doesn't burn in this one) or have had them fall flat ( the mermaid's voice returns in this one & to make monsters out of girls).
Sadly, this one one falls in line with the last two. This book failed to paint a picture for me. While the theme and the illustrations were there, most pages flipped without a lasting impression. The most impactful parts were the "letters" where the author really delivered emotion.
While a couple of lines in a mostly blank page can be truly impactful, lovelace herself has shown herself capable of this is Princess and Witch, I didn't get that feeling this time.
Also, spelling 'magic' as 'magick' felt way too contrived and failed to make me do anything other than cringe.
I do think this series was cathartic for the author, and you can't help but see the pain on these pages, however I couldn't truly feel it.
"you were never the point to my story. i am."
I've had polarizing experiences with lovelace's work, I've either absolutely fallen in love with it ( the princess saves herself in this one & the witch doesn't burn in this one) or have had them fall flat ( the mermaid's voice returns in this one & to make monsters out of girls).
Sadly, this one one falls in line with the last two. This book failed to paint a picture for me. While the theme and the illustrations were there, most pages flipped without a lasting impression. The most impactful parts were the "letters" where the author really delivered emotion.
While a couple of lines in a mostly blank page can be truly impactful, lovelace herself has shown herself capable of this is Princess and Witch, I didn't get that feeling this time.
Also, spelling 'magic' as 'magick' felt way too contrived and failed to make me do anything other than cringe.
I do think this series was cathartic for the author, and you can't help but see the pain on these pages, however I couldn't truly feel it.
January 20, 2021
'you gave me this great escape -
shelves and shelves of adventures -
but I used them to escape you
- books upon books upon books'
I sincerely love this collection and no, not all the trigger warnings mentioned at the beginning of this book aren't applicable at all and rather absurd because I don't think it was even necessary to list them all down just to make the reader intimidated even before reading this book.
This collection basically talks about the toxic relationship between a mother and a daughter; about her mother's illness and death; grief and moving on from a hurtful past.
And as always with her books, the collection talks about her growing up confused and hurt and then trying to understand the situation, trying to forgive the one who has hurt her the most and willing herself to love herself more, become more self accepting.
I absolutely love this one.
It is hard hitting, direct and sad and reflecting.
I can so relate with the kind of parent she used to live with.
I am eagerly waiting for her next book.
shelves and shelves of adventures -
but I used them to escape you
- books upon books upon books'
I sincerely love this collection and no, not all the trigger warnings mentioned at the beginning of this book aren't applicable at all and rather absurd because I don't think it was even necessary to list them all down just to make the reader intimidated even before reading this book.
This collection basically talks about the toxic relationship between a mother and a daughter; about her mother's illness and death; grief and moving on from a hurtful past.
And as always with her books, the collection talks about her growing up confused and hurt and then trying to understand the situation, trying to forgive the one who has hurt her the most and willing herself to love herself more, become more self accepting.
I absolutely love this one.
It is hard hitting, direct and sad and reflecting.
I can so relate with the kind of parent she used to live with.
I am eagerly waiting for her next book.
April 3, 2023
much much MUCH better than the first collection!!
July 19, 2019
This was beautiful and painful and hopeful and made me feel so much.
To drink coffee with a ghost focuses mainly on toxic mother-daughter relationship. Even if I personally couldn’t relate, because I won the lottery in case of my loving and caring mum, these poems touched me somewhere very deep.
“i only ever wanted to keep you safe,“
you screamed.
“then why didn’t you?“
i cried .
- lucid
The book is divided into three parts, ghost-mother, ghost-daughter, and sun-showers. First part talks mainly about painful relationship with the mother, second about reality of living without her and slowly becoming your own person and the third part (my favourite, even if the whole book was incredible), about letting go, about sisterhood, loving yourself and being free. It felt like I got to be a part of this family story, to have a look behind the doors, to get to live all the pain and worry, but also the healing and love.
Even if I couldn’t relate to mother problems, I definitely related to having a sister, having other half of me I unconditionally love. I had tears in my eyes while I read these poems.
when i think
of my life
without a sister,
i suddenly
understand
what they mean
when they say
people can die
from broken
hearts
- the worst tragedy of all
to
underestimate
women
is bad enough
by itself,
but
i imagine
anyone
who does
must not know
many sisters
- together, we are strong as hell.
The book also has gorgeous illustrations which makes the feel of the book somehow complete and magical. I will definitely be buying this book when it is published in September.
Thank you so much Andrews McMeel Publishing and Netgalley for letting me read this amazing book sooner. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
To drink coffee with a ghost focuses mainly on toxic mother-daughter relationship. Even if I personally couldn’t relate, because I won the lottery in case of my loving and caring mum, these poems touched me somewhere very deep.
“i only ever wanted to keep you safe,“
you screamed.
“then why didn’t you?“
i cried .
- lucid
The book is divided into three parts, ghost-mother, ghost-daughter, and sun-showers. First part talks mainly about painful relationship with the mother, second about reality of living without her and slowly becoming your own person and the third part (my favourite, even if the whole book was incredible), about letting go, about sisterhood, loving yourself and being free. It felt like I got to be a part of this family story, to have a look behind the doors, to get to live all the pain and worry, but also the healing and love.
Even if I couldn’t relate to mother problems, I definitely related to having a sister, having other half of me I unconditionally love. I had tears in my eyes while I read these poems.
when i think
of my life
without a sister,
i suddenly
understand
what they mean
when they say
people can die
from broken
hearts
- the worst tragedy of all
to
underestimate
women
is bad enough
by itself,
but
i imagine
anyone
who does
must not know
many sisters
- together, we are strong as hell.
The book also has gorgeous illustrations which makes the feel of the book somehow complete and magical. I will definitely be buying this book when it is published in September.
Thank you so much Andrews McMeel Publishing and Netgalley for letting me read this amazing book sooner. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
July 19, 2019
The ARC of this book was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
3.75 Stars
In this new poetry collection author Amanda Lovelace mostly explores the relationship she had with her mother, who has passed away from cancer. All the poems about this theme are quite bittersweet since her mother is a person she loved but in part she also hated. I particularly enjoyed this new book by Lovelace and I must say I liked it more than some of her other works.
3.75 Stars
In this new poetry collection author Amanda Lovelace mostly explores the relationship she had with her mother, who has passed away from cancer. All the poems about this theme are quite bittersweet since her mother is a person she loved but in part she also hated. I particularly enjoyed this new book by Lovelace and I must say I liked it more than some of her other works.
June 3, 2020
3.5
this is the best collection i’ve read by her, by far
this is the best collection i’ve read by her, by far
December 31, 2025
LOVED IT! I can always get down with a good poetry book!
September 9, 2019
this book spoke so much to me. 💔
RTC
RTC
November 18, 2019
I miss my sister =/
August 7, 2019
things that h(a)unt series:
To Make Monsters Out of Girls: ★★★★★
To Drink Coffee with a Ghost: ★★★★★
Blog | Twitter | Instagram
As always, a copy of this book was provided by the publisher or author in exchange for my honest review. This does not effect my opinion in any way. You can find this review here at Booked J. Review found here.
Amanda Lovelace does it again. Which is, incidentally, how pretty much every review I've ever written about her poetry starts. So, pretend to be shocked for just a moment. Listen, it's no secret that I'm a massive fan of her works and To Drink Coffee with a Ghost is no less poignant and thought-provoking and utterly raw than any of her other offerings.
I adored it. I consumed it. I sat back with a cup of coffee and a little rain and devoured it. If there is one thing I've learned about modern poetry, it is that there is so much said in so little time. Lovelace's signature is this: emotional impact that will leave you feeling any number of things. At times, there's this raw feeling of devastation and pain. In the good times, you feel the joyous way her words lift from the paper and linger in your mind.
To Drink Coffee with a Ghost is one of her best and most personal releases yet. The capacity to which she feels, and writes, is so intense that sometimes you have to take a moment to yourself and pause to consider what you've just read or felt. This is self-expression at its most biting. This is a life, flawed and all. As it is with all of Lovelace's work, you see the personal growth that she has undergone in the years--it is easy to connect with her prose because she has the gift of reaching out to her readers in a way that feels personal and not unlike a friend conversing with another friend.
The true gift of poetry is being able to express oneself and reach out and touch another. To Drink Coffee with a Ghost is one of those collections that will certainly grip its target audience and then some. Amanda Lovelace proves once again her talent and leaves us anticipating her next collection.
To Make Monsters Out of Girls: ★★★★★
To Drink Coffee with a Ghost: ★★★★★
Blog | Twitter | Instagram
As always, a copy of this book was provided by the publisher or author in exchange for my honest review. This does not effect my opinion in any way. You can find this review here at Booked J. Review found here.
Amanda Lovelace does it again. Which is, incidentally, how pretty much every review I've ever written about her poetry starts. So, pretend to be shocked for just a moment. Listen, it's no secret that I'm a massive fan of her works and To Drink Coffee with a Ghost is no less poignant and thought-provoking and utterly raw than any of her other offerings.
I adored it. I consumed it. I sat back with a cup of coffee and a little rain and devoured it. If there is one thing I've learned about modern poetry, it is that there is so much said in so little time. Lovelace's signature is this: emotional impact that will leave you feeling any number of things. At times, there's this raw feeling of devastation and pain. In the good times, you feel the joyous way her words lift from the paper and linger in your mind.
To Drink Coffee with a Ghost is one of her best and most personal releases yet. The capacity to which she feels, and writes, is so intense that sometimes you have to take a moment to yourself and pause to consider what you've just read or felt. This is self-expression at its most biting. This is a life, flawed and all. As it is with all of Lovelace's work, you see the personal growth that she has undergone in the years--it is easy to connect with her prose because she has the gift of reaching out to her readers in a way that feels personal and not unlike a friend conversing with another friend.
The true gift of poetry is being able to express oneself and reach out and touch another. To Drink Coffee with a Ghost is one of those collections that will certainly grip its target audience and then some. Amanda Lovelace proves once again her talent and leaves us anticipating her next collection.
May 26, 2022
4 stars
A wonderful collection by Amanda Lovelace. Here the poems basically talk about the toxic relationship between a mother and a daughter, illness and death, grief and moving on. This one is more personal and intense.
Amanda Lovelace can write poems on some real touchy topics. Its really really brave of her to write these poems.
“for the first time, i will allow myself to believe that the best can & will happen to me, instead of the worst. – life doesn’t have to be a horror show”
Happy Reading!!
A wonderful collection by Amanda Lovelace. Here the poems basically talk about the toxic relationship between a mother and a daughter, illness and death, grief and moving on. This one is more personal and intense.
Amanda Lovelace can write poems on some real touchy topics. Its really really brave of her to write these poems.
“for the first time, i will allow myself to believe that the best can & will happen to me, instead of the worst. – life doesn’t have to be a horror show”
Happy Reading!!
April 29, 2022
amanda lovelace is so relatable
February 24, 2024
Amai, daar heb ik geen woorden voor. Zij ook niet eigenlijk.
October 10, 2019
I love this poetry collection.
October 15, 2019
Max 3. Ne vairāk.
Es sāku saprast, ka slīdu ārā no auditorijas, kurai Amanda raksta. Es sāku lasīt šīs poētiskās piezīmes un...man ātri apnika, jo likās, ka mazliet citiem vārdiem, bet es šo visu no viņas jau esmu 1x lasījusi. Nezinu.
Princess ir un paliek emocionāls pārdzīvojums grāmatas formā. Bet viss, kas nācis pēc tam...ir mazliet kā 2x uzlieta tēja... un jo tālāk iet, vairāk grāmatas top, jo mazāk es esmu ieinteresēta.
Labā lieta - vismaz psihozes un naidu viņa izskatās izlikusi witch un tālākajās grāmatās atgriezusies pie spējas rakstīt normāli, bez psihošanas un runāt par savu pieredzi, nevispārinot. Bet vai es esmu ļoti ieinteresēta nākošajās viņas grāmatās? Not really. Gan jau ja pagadīsies ceļā, pāršķirstīšu, bet tās nav manā "100% obligāti jādabū un jāizlasa" sarakstā.
Es sāku saprast, ka slīdu ārā no auditorijas, kurai Amanda raksta. Es sāku lasīt šīs poētiskās piezīmes un...man ātri apnika, jo likās, ka mazliet citiem vārdiem, bet es šo visu no viņas jau esmu 1x lasījusi. Nezinu.
Princess ir un paliek emocionāls pārdzīvojums grāmatas formā. Bet viss, kas nācis pēc tam...ir mazliet kā 2x uzlieta tēja... un jo tālāk iet, vairāk grāmatas top, jo mazāk es esmu ieinteresēta.
Labā lieta - vismaz psihozes un naidu viņa izskatās izlikusi witch un tālākajās grāmatās atgriezusies pie spējas rakstīt normāli, bez psihošanas un runāt par savu pieredzi, nevispārinot. Bet vai es esmu ļoti ieinteresēta nākošajās viņas grāmatās? Not really. Gan jau ja pagadīsies ceļā, pāršķirstīšu, bet tās nav manā "100% obligāti jādabū un jāizlasa" sarakstā.
September 24, 2019
Another beautiful poetry collection by Amanda Lovelace! First of all I am OBSESSED with this cover. Like, best cover of 2019 definitely; it is absolutely gorgeous! “To drink coffee with a ghost” is the second collection in the “things that haunt” duology, and this one mainly focuses on grief/loss and complicated family relationships. The poems in this book are often quick and short, but that doesn’t make them any less powerful. This isn't my favorite poetry collection by Lovelace (nothing will surpass “the witch doesn’t burn in this one”) but even so I still found poems that I absolutely loved. Lovelace has such a talent for poetry and I love her writing since her poems are always so raw, emotional, and relatable. If you haven’t read her collections yet, go start now! Thank you to Andrews Mcmeel Publishing and Amanda Lovelace for the free copy in exchange for an honest review!
July 6, 2020
Once again another one that is just amazing.
I feel like my reviews about Amanda's wrk are always the same but to be fair I don't mind haha
I feel like my reviews about Amanda's wrk are always the same but to be fair I don't mind haha
January 8, 2022
3.75/5
Poetic, simple, emotional, dark.
There are a lot of mixed feelings here because it is not everyone's story and then everyone might be able to relate. Sad for sure. True, probably which makes it sadder. It's well written and deep.
Poetic, simple, emotional, dark.
There are a lot of mixed feelings here because it is not everyone's story and then everyone might be able to relate. Sad for sure. True, probably which makes it sadder. It's well written and deep.
March 12, 2020
Writing Style - 4/5
Cover - 3/5
Illustration - 5/5
Overall Rating - 4 / 5
Cover - 3/5
Illustration - 5/5
Overall Rating - 4 / 5
July 21, 2019
As much criticism as "Instagram poets" get these days, I'm actually a pretty big fan. I think poetry can be inaccessible sometimes, and what Lovelace (and other current poets like Nikita Gill) get right is making poems easy to understand. Although I always appreciate Lovelace's unfailing honesty and willingness to put her pain on the page, her recent collections haven't had the same impact on me as her first two ("The Princess Saves Herself in This One" and "The Witch Doesn't Burn in This One.") Her early work felt so fresh, creative, and powerful; I often marked many pages to come back to at a later time so I could revel in them all over again. "To Drink Coffee With a Ghost" feels too rushed to me (it took me less than 30 minutes to read), and I didn't find any specific poems that really spoke to me. Since this collection focuses on Lovelace's complicated relationship with her mother, there was plenty of insight and moving emotion throughout. However, I just wasn't able to connect as much having not gone through similar experiences. I'll still be a fan of Lovelace's after this book and I'll still check out her future work. This one just sadly missed the mark for me.
*Free ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*
*Free ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*
August 2, 2021
Amanda is such a brave women who always comes open in her books. Through this one she talks about her neglectful mother. How after her death apart of her was buried with her mother. She was unable to find herself in her or others. She was broken into pieces held by thin lies. She was able to find herself in her mother, finding love in her mother’s cracks and her sister. She found herself in the suns rays and heard the rain as relaxing. She was able to carry her sorrows that her mother tried to carry with her own. She was able to find love with someone who didn’t want someone perfect or want to help her be ‘normal’ .She was able to find joy.
July 25, 2019
I am giving this book 4.75 stars!! This poetry book was so good!! I love this author so much and I can’t wait to have the finish copy in hands!! The book was also red for the reading especially for the challenge 6 which was Pick a book that has 5 or more words in the title !! Thanks to Netgalley for the e-arc in exchange of my honest review!!
March 15, 2020
Another beautiful masterpiece!
October 29, 2019
"you cannot
have a funeral
for your mother
without also
having a funeral
for yourself."
- it's time to begin the procession.
I gotta admit, I cried when I read this. I'm a crybaby when it comes to sad family matters and I even tear up at the happy ones.
Anyways, this was really good and I loved it a lot compared to the first book. It mostly focuses on the relationship of the author with her mother that had passed away. It's filled with hurt but love for her mom regardless of all the things that happened between them. Some parts is her relationship with her sister filled with healing each other and other parts are self worth and small parts are her typical love poems/broken self poems.
Some of my favorites:
"i wish
i had known
i was never
going to
see you again
because i would have
spent more time
clinging to the good
we did have
instead of
clinging to the bad
i couldn't
change."
- what eats me alive.
"i'm afraid i'll be just like you.
i'm afraid i'll be nothing like you."
- my empress in reverse.
"people keep asking me if i love you or hate
you. the answer has never been as simple
as a yes or no. of course i love you, but i hate
so much of what you did."
- tug of war.
and finally:
"your
comfort
is not
more
important
than
my journey
to
healing."
- i will never live a life of quiet again.
Thank you Netgalley for providing me with the digital copy for an honest review.
have a funeral
for your mother
without also
having a funeral
for yourself."
- it's time to begin the procession.
I gotta admit, I cried when I read this. I'm a crybaby when it comes to sad family matters and I even tear up at the happy ones.
Anyways, this was really good and I loved it a lot compared to the first book. It mostly focuses on the relationship of the author with her mother that had passed away. It's filled with hurt but love for her mom regardless of all the things that happened between them. Some parts is her relationship with her sister filled with healing each other and other parts are self worth and small parts are her typical love poems/broken self poems.
Some of my favorites:
"i wish
i had known
i was never
going to
see you again
because i would have
spent more time
clinging to the good
we did have
instead of
clinging to the bad
i couldn't
change."
- what eats me alive.
"i'm afraid i'll be just like you.
i'm afraid i'll be nothing like you."
- my empress in reverse.
"people keep asking me if i love you or hate
you. the answer has never been as simple
as a yes or no. of course i love you, but i hate
so much of what you did."
- tug of war.
and finally:
"your
comfort
is not
more
important
than
my journey
to
healing."
- i will never live a life of quiet again.
Thank you Netgalley for providing me with the digital copy for an honest review.
February 23, 2020
This is an incredibly personal collection of poems. Amanda Lovelace delivers a private look into the complex relationship she had with her mother, and the even more complicated blend of feelings she experienced when her mother died. I expected to feel a little uncomfortable reading this collection of poems given that the author's relationship with her mother seems a particularly tumultuous one but actually I just felt like the poems were more meaningful than a more generic collection.
I loved that Lovelace took us through some key events in her life with her mother and sister, but also offered her account of the grieving process in various sections of the book. She sensitively considers what the loss of a loved one looks like for her without suggesting there is ever a reliable way to fill the hole that death might leave.
To Drink Coffee With A Ghost is a deeply emotional and necessarily harrowing collection, but it's also something I think most readers will be able to draw something from when they most need it. I think Lovelace has done a really great job with this book, and the illustrations were the cherry on the cake.
I loved that Lovelace took us through some key events in her life with her mother and sister, but also offered her account of the grieving process in various sections of the book. She sensitively considers what the loss of a loved one looks like for her without suggesting there is ever a reliable way to fill the hole that death might leave.
To Drink Coffee With A Ghost is a deeply emotional and necessarily harrowing collection, but it's also something I think most readers will be able to draw something from when they most need it. I think Lovelace has done a really great job with this book, and the illustrations were the cherry on the cake.
April 1, 2022
Poetry with drawings on loss, depression, regret, toxic ghost mother, protective sister, grief, sisterhood, absence, recovery, absence, wounding words, and soulmeets.
“whenever i think of you, i envision our little
white kitchen table. inside the drywall, i
imagine years of collected stories &
laughter burrowed like chestnuts from
stowaway squirrels. my secrets are hidden
among them, too – the ones you expertly
ignored so you could still look at me & see
the perfect daughter who never existed.
none of these memories would be
complete without our coffee. so i sit down
at our little white kitchen table. i pour not
one but two cups. i wait & wait & wait even
though i know you won’t show up to hear
what i have to say.
- communication was never our strong suit.”
“you gave me
this great
escape –
shelves
& shelves
of adventures –
but i used them
to escape
you.
- books upon books upon books.”
“whenever i think of you, i envision our little
white kitchen table. inside the drywall, i
imagine years of collected stories &
laughter burrowed like chestnuts from
stowaway squirrels. my secrets are hidden
among them, too – the ones you expertly
ignored so you could still look at me & see
the perfect daughter who never existed.
none of these memories would be
complete without our coffee. so i sit down
at our little white kitchen table. i pour not
one but two cups. i wait & wait & wait even
though i know you won’t show up to hear
what i have to say.
- communication was never our strong suit.”
“you gave me
this great
escape –
shelves
& shelves
of adventures –
but i used them
to escape
you.
- books upon books upon books.”
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