The Upside of Being Down: How Mental Health Struggles Led to My Greatest Successes in Work and Life

by Jen Gotch

A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

An entertaining, humorous, and inspirational memoir by the founder and chief creative officer of the multimillion-dollar lifestyle brand ban.do, who “has become a hero among women (and likely some men too) who struggle with mental health” ( Forbes ).

After graduating from college, Jen Gotch was living with her parents, heartbroken and lost, when she became convinced that her skin had turned green. Hallucinating that she looked like Shrek was terrifying, but it led to her first diagnosis and the start of a journey towards self-awareness, acceptance, success, and ultimately, joy.

With humor and candor, Gotch shares the empowering story of her unlikely path to becoming the creator and CCO of a multimillion-dollar brand. From her childhood in Florida where her early struggles with bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety, and ADD were misdiagnosed, to her winding career path as a waitress, photographer, food stylist, and finally, accidental entrepreneur, she illuminates how embracing her flaws and understanding the influence of mental illness on her creativity actually led to her greatest successes in business and life.

Hilarious, hyper-relatable, and filled with fascinating insights and hard-won wisdom on everything from why it’s okay to cry at work to the myth of busyness and perfection to the emotional rating system she uses every day, Gotch’s inspirational memoir dares readers to live each day with hope, optimism, kindness, and humor.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Self Help, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Psychology

288 pages, Hardcover

First published March 24, 2020

About the author

Jen Gotch is genetically predisposed to optimism. She’s a visionary, a creative powerhouse and an advocate for mental health and emotional well-being. In 2008 she founded ban.do with a friend, and with no prior business experience, was able to work with a small group of passionate people and transform it from a small hair accessories company into a beloved multimillion-dollar brand that’s all about encouraging joy and helping its community be their best. After a long (and winding) road of jobs that led her to where she is today, she’s now the chief creative officer and fearless leader of the ban.do brand. She’s passionate about sharing her experience in both business and life in a candid and lighthearted way in order to help others build their own self-awareness and emotional intelligence and most of all to help them feel less alone.

Reviews

[Joana · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's definitely a trend for memoirs of people with mental health struggles, which I think is great, but I didn't get much from this book. It started out well and the best parts are the ones with Jen's parents and her growing up. But, from the moment that Jen gets a right diagnosis and does a lot of therapy, it's all pretty basic self-help book: see the positive in the bad things that happen, do self-care, monitor your moods, it's okay to have bad days, etc. "Knowing" Jen from Instagram, I feel that she means well and she does want to help people with her words, but there's nothing ground-breaking here, as comparatively little attention is paid to the really dark days, to the struggles. We don't really get the sense of what she overcame and what she still overcomes on her worst days. Her days eating cereal are described with humor and a cherry on top and not with a true description of what she probably felt like. I guess this goes with her brand and anything else would disappoint followers (see also: the beautiful, cheery book-cover). The style is conversational, with a lot of private jokes (that followers will probably get), funny and self-deprecating. It's a light read that may (and hopefully will) cheer some people up.

I can't finish this review without mentioning the chapter about the ex-husband. I will not blame this on Jen but on the editors and revisors that thought the chapter looked good. This is what it sounded like to me, a reader: The marriage wasn't working out but, after a trial separation, the husband returned, wanting to give things another go, while Jen herself had been feeling good on her own so she wasn't entirely on the same boat. They did try to patch things up but it wasn't working. Until the husband finds out that his father has cancer and Jen's reaction seems to be: we're getting a divorce, I'm getting another chance. The husband packs up his things and leaves and the chapter ends, with Jen feeling emotional but mostly optimistic about a new phase in her life. We never hear of the husband again and never find out if his father was okay. It sounded completely callous. And I don't for a second believe that this is how things really went, so I think the whole team that worked on the book could have done a better job here.

[bunnies and books · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am the target demographic of this book: I love ban.do, I've followed Jen Gotch for many years, I'm a millennial, white-passing, female, I work in a creative field, and I've lived with mental illness my whole life.

I was incredibly disappointed in this book. It wasn't uplifting or relatable- I found myself losing respect for Jen. I think it is her voice- she seems self-congratulating as opposed to confident and lacks the awareness of how charmed her life has been. She has had opportunities that are unattainable (parents paying for her to move across country, taking low-paying jobs, falling into styling, having connections with influencers) and treats access to mental health like it's something everyone has the time/money for. Her chapter about emotional eating was gratuitous. She mentions feeling so gross but that she has never been overweight and she offers obvious, but frequently unattainable, advice about eating healthier. She needed to figure out if she was writing for advice or writing her experiences. It seems like she tried to combine the two but her memoir wasn't fleshed out and her advice was tone-deaf.

It was hard because after reading, I went back to Jen's Instagram. She is so likable on that platform so I think her writing is the problem. I guess I liked the appendix.

[Marlow · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are better mental illness memoirs out there, especially for readers with bipolar disorder. For a memoir that is supposed to be about mental illness, it really skips right over the 'illness' part for much of the book. I never got a strong sense of what she's like when depressed or manic, so her illness reads as relatively mild (which it may be). I never got a sense of what exactly she overcame internally because she hardly shows us the negative side of any of her stories.

[(Mellifluous Grant) · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a person, I don't think I have the verbiage available to explain how wonderful this book truly is. Ms. Gotch is both down to earth and funny, and reading this book was at times emotional and inspiring. She has such a way with words, she draws you in, sets you down in a comfy chair, and hands you a nice hot mug of tea ( or buttered coffee..lol). The way she unravels her tale and touches on the issue of mental health is unapologetically relatable. Those of us who deal with these struggles moment after moment will find a companion, and an advocate is Ms. Gotch. I found myself, quite literally, highlighting sentences, chapter titles, and complete sections of the appendix for later review.

I highly recommend this as an uplifting read on the need for self-care for those with mental health issues, as well as a commanding read for any woman fighting the battle for betterment.

I read this as an ARC, thankfully provided by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Amy Larson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really disappointed by this book. I really like Jen’s company ban.do and so I thought it was going to be an inspiring story about a creative person who built a business from nothing into the thriving business it is today. But it turns out she’s been really privileged and she actually sold the company only a few years in. I actually ended up learning about what I don’t want to be like as a leader from reading her take (the fact that the says to schedule in mandatory time for fun in her week and recommends you do the same was really sad and basic to me).

I also don’t feel like this book adds anything to the mental health canon. she speaks at a very high level and nothing she contributes is groundbreaking- go to therapy, find the right meds, don’t be afraid to cry. I thought it was going to go much deeper than that but her story ended up not being very interesting or compelling. I didn’t hear a unique perspective at all because it seemed like she was trying to maintain her image by not getting into the deep side of what it feels like to have anxiety and run a company, etc. I think there are a lot of barriers outside of the stigma which is what she mainly focuses on. For example she talks about how expensive it was for her to find the right psychiatrist but at the same time it seemed like she was still being financially supported by her parents when she was having to pay for all those appointments. in that way, her approach and story wasn’t really relatable to me

I gave it 2 stars because I feel it is important that stories about mental health have a space on the shelf and in the world. But I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone

[MicheleReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am probably not the prime target audience for this book. I had never heard of Jen Gotch or her brand ban.do. But I was interested in her journey dealing with her mental illnesses – the diagnosis process and how she has been able to build a successful brand. Plus, the book has a great cover.

For her fans, this is probably a 5 star hit. For me, I felt it was interesting, light reading (not the subject matter but the writing style) and provides some good insight into her life to date. I felt her family history to be especially interesting. I was touched with the story about when her mother thought she was being positive in describing Jen as a pearl versus a diamond (when talking about how people differ) yet it didn’t have the desired effect and made Jen feel bad about herself. This makes a strong point that the comments you make to your children have a lasting impact (although most of us have probably said lots of ill-advised, even dumb things to our children in the quest of being wise and encouraging.)

I applaud anyone who shares their struggles (and success) in memoirs like this - The Upside of Being Down book will clearly help people who see themselves in Gotch and will hopefully not only be inspired by her optimism but will take the time to find the right doctors and the right medical treatment.

Rated 3.5 rounded up to 4 stars – I’m also an optimist.

[Ariane · Rating 2 out of 5]

Originally I only rated this (2 stars) and didn’t write a review, because I didn’t want to write a negative review. That was about a month ago, and it’s since come out that the author, who I’ve followed online for ages, is actually blatantly racist (and narcissistic?) and created and extremely hostile work environment at the company she founded. So, without further ado, here is the honest review I didn’t write initially:

I don’t understand the positive reviews of this book. It was the most mundane book I’ve read in years, because there is nothing to it - it’s just fluff (and while it looks thick, the print and margins are huge, there’s literally not actually a lot of content). The only slightly more detailed and interesting parts of it were the parts about how her business came to be - I would have said maybe she should have just written a business book, but that’s the business she’s now had to resign from so...

As far as a self help book, or even mental illness memoir goes, this is way too superficial to be meaningful in any way, or even interesting. Pretty visual/book design, but the insides are extremely lacking. She just pontificates a bunch and doesn’t even really tell anything about what she’s been through. No details, no real vulnerability. And somehow whatever made her charismatic online was missing from the writing. I don’t know how the editors and publisher let this go to print. Don’t waste your money especially on the hardcover - if you really need to leaf through it, borrow it from the library.

(ETA: I still feel kind of bad for writing such a negative review, but I really want to spare others from spending their time and money on this!)

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

*I would only recommend this book to those who are already familiar with Jen Gotch. If you’re not, skip this one and read Glennon Doyle’s Untamed, also published March 2020.*

i admire jen gotch. a friend first introduced to her instagram to me in 2015 because she thought jen was hysterical. I originally thought Jen was attention seeking and maybe not funny—but i continued to passively see small glimpses into her life. one day i saw her having a panic attack on an insta story. that shit took guts. it was real and honest, and as far as i know: she’s the first person who publicly put herself on display during a very raw and scary time.

as someone who has struggled with mental health issues myself , i know the importance of being able to *identify* a panic attack in the moment. Often, if we don’t know we’re having one, we dismiss the severity of it, and can’t equip ourselves with tools to better cope in the future. Jen was helping us become better equipped, while being so real and honest on a platform that was known for only the *ideal*.

since that moment, i have a new love for jen through her raw honesty, her dad posts , and her trash dances. I was excited to get my hands on this book as soon as it came out.

Overall the book is easy to get into, and tells the bigger story of gotch’s life that i didn’t know from following her on instagram. But as a self help book: it falls short. it’s self important, and somehow manages to leave out the word “privilege” even though it seems to penetrate so much of gotch’s experience.

Gotch seems to think that hers and Ban.do’s success is due to hard work and maybe a little *luck*. But the lack of acknowledgement makes me think that the *privilege experience* isn’t unique to her within her circle of friends. I wish a self help book would have acknowledged it isn’t possible for everyone reading the book to accomplish the things she has due to the privilege part alone.

Aside from that, Gotch has done the work and strives to share her story to better the world and workplace. She appears to lead her team with love and empathy, and i’m excited to follow along and she what else she creates.

[Rachael Telford · Rating 1 out of 5]

I bought this book before learning about her racist behavior and the toxic work environment she has allegedly created at Ban.do before resigning. I would look into this before deciding if you want to buy or read this book.

I am someone who will DNF a book and not feel bad about it, but since I purchased this book I wanted to see it through. I kept waiting for it to get better. It didn't.

[Laura Tremaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is just so valuable when people are able to write about their mental health struggles so candidly. I am grateful for women like Jen Gotch who shine a light on what it’s like to deal with depression and anxiety on a regular basis.

[Jess Dolson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nothing profound here. Writing is sophomoric at best. Not all that funny.

[Jules | Friday Night Readers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had been seeing the book The Upside of Being Down around bookstagram and decided to give it a shot after hearing author and Ban.do creator Jen Gotch on the forever 35 podcast .

It's her mental health journey through several mental health disorders and how embracing her flaws and understanding the influence of mental illness on her creativity actually led to her greatest successes in business and life.

I particularly liked the way she handled discussing her parent issues -- very gently with respect yet honesty -- as I think that's very hard to do. And, as the wife of a former business owner, I appreciated her discussions of the physical and mental tolls of running a business, as it's so difficult, with constant fires to put out, that you can become accustomed to anticipating the negative. I thought she was spot on in that regard.

One thing I wished the book had was a chapter or appendix with a list of practical to do's she recommends. I thought it would have tied the book together more neatly and better allowed it to serve reader's in their own lives.

Join our conversation of the upsides of being "down" during quarantine on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_XUI0uAsh0/

[Tamika · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came to me in a roundabout way. On one of my last days in a new job that I deeply hated, with a boss I felt had very little respect for me, I perused the shelf of books that sometimes get sent to the organization for potential publicity.

I didn't choose to take it for its title or subtitle. I did what any reader should never do: I judged this book by its cover, and chose to take it because of its yellowness and pattern mixing.

Reading the title at home again, a couple weeks later, I thought, "huh... maybe this is a book I should dig in to at some point." Then I set it back on to my bookshelves and left it there until the other day.

As I started to read, I saw my own mental illness described through someone else's experience. I was immediately hooked because for the first time, I felt seen.

Jen Gotch takes you through the winding roads of finding her incredibly fulfilling career and getting to a manageable point with her mental health simultaneously. She openly shares her struggles, where she feels she has failed, and truly how difficult her journey has been at times.

I believe this book gave me the lifeline I was seeking to continue on my own long road to mental health. I'm still afraid, concerned that I'll never find the right doctor or get the right diagnosis. That maybe I'll never be better. But I know Ms. Gotch went through decades of being undiagnosed, then misdiagnosed, then appropriately diagnosed but with difficulty staying on track, and if she can get to a point of seeing The Upside of Being Down through all that, there's a good chance I can too.

[Najat Alheela · Rating 4 out of 5]

كيف يمكن أن تقدّم أفضل ما لديك، وأنت في أسوأ حالاتك النفسية، والعقلية.

إن جين غوتش، تقدّم لنا من سيرتها الذاتية عبر وصْل ثنائية نجاحاتها الشخصية والمهنية بين (صراعاتها النفسية وإضطراباتها العقلية) بـ (التفاؤل)، لتقدّم لنا سلوكًا مغايرًا لهذه الصراعات التي كانت تجرّها نحو الأسفل، في حين تتخذ مسلكًا موازيًا باتجاهٍ آخر نحو الأعلى.

إن غوتش وهي الآن في الـ ٤٩ من عمرها، لم يُشخَّص مرضها مبكرًا بـ “اضطراب ثنائي القطب”، وهو الأمر الذي فاقم في كثير من الأحيان أزماتها العقلية، نتيجة جهلها وجهل المحيطين بها -بإحاطة علمية- بما يحدث لها.

ولستُ في صدد، شرح هذا المرض، بقدر ما أريد أن أشير إلى إحدى نوباته، وهو “الاكتئاب”.

المرض العقلي الصامت، الذي يقبع أصحابه بضجيج تحت جُنح الظلام غير مدركين كنهه (على اختلاف مستوياته). لأشير هنا أيضًا إلى التحدي الذي اختارته غوتش مهنيًا لإظهار أحد أعراض هذا المرض علنًا عبر إنتاج قطع قلائد من المجوهرات في شركتها ban.do تحت مسميات مختلفة؛ كان أبرزها والأكثر مبيعًا (القلق)!

تؤكد جين غوتش؛ بأنك تستطيع أن تقدّم أفضل ما لديك وأنت في أسوأ حالاتك، وهي كذلك فعلت.

[Meghan Herrington · Rating 5 out of 5]

I mean it when I say words can’t describe how incredible this book is, but I’ll try.

To be completely transparent, I also suffer from a GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), so it’s practically a given I relate to Gotch and her experiences with mental illness. However, what I appreciate the most is her clear honesty, and how she approaches everything she discusses with humor, too. It’s clear she’s self-aware yet doesn’t take herself too seriously either.

I’m grateful women like Gotch exist. Not just to be the mental health advocates we need in the world, but to also set an example that you can have a mental illness (or several) and still be a successful businesswoman (a founder and c-level executive at that).

Whether or not you also have (had) anxiety, depression, and/or bipolar, you will certainly take something away from Gotch’s beautifully sewn memoir, and its sentiments may not leave you for days, but that’s the hope after all, right?

Special thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me an advance copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Genevieve Trono]

Before I read The Upside of Being Down I was not familiar with Jen Gotch. To be quite honest, when I first saw this one, what stood out for me was the beautiful book cover and amazing title! Fortunately, this ended up being a great book too.

I am a big fan of memoirs and I am also a huge advocate for mental health awareness. I am always inspired by people who have worked through obstacles and challenges while also saying, “I still get it!”

Mental health issues are often lifelong but are not just barriers to “overcome”. Gotch’s path has not been easy but that is also why she is so inspiring. Her writing is conversational and has the perfect amount of humility and humor.

While excelling at normalizing what so many people go through, she also reminds us that you don’t have to “get over” your struggles to have a wonderful and fulfilling life. She shares relatable stories while also being realistic about the fact that sometimes it takes time to get the proper care you need and that it is okay to not have it all figured out, now, or ever…

While this is a “lighter” book on the mental health memoir spectrum, I appreciated the way she was able to share her wisdom while also having the perfect amount of self-awareness on the things that helped her along the way.

Thank you to NetGalley and Gallery Books for an advanced copy.

[Jordan Stoune · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best memoir I’ve read. It’s helpful, encouraging, and hilarious. Jen writes just as she speaks on social media: honestly and with great wit and charm. This is an absolute must read for anyone, but especially entrepreneurs and those who struggle with mental health. Bravo!

[Cassidy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've looked up to Jen for years, but this book fell flat for me. I feel bad that I didn't love it, but I love that I preordered it to support her! In the end, reading her self help memoir didn't feel any different than reading her captions. So proud of her, but wish I personally got more out of it.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book in one sitting. I couldn’t put it down. Jen Gotch was emotional, vulnerable, honest, funny, down to earth...She talks about her mental health, the ups and downs of building a business, and her relationships. She fit so many stories and feelings and take aways into a single book...I wonder what more she has to share!

[Betsy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow. This memoir screams entitled white woman. I liked the brand, ban.do, but after learning more about Jen (the founder of the company) in this memoir, I'm rather turned off by her and am rethinking my feelings for her company.

This book is filled with name dropping, finger pointing, and a lot of gloating and narcissism. I understand she has mental illness (which was supposed to be the basis of this book), but I felt her story of learning about and struggling with her mental illnesses were overshadowed by proclaiming how great she she is (a creative genius!) and putting down others (her business partner, boyfriend, husband, staff, and college roommates).

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

When you lose your memory as the sole survivor of a plane crash., the need to find or reinvent oneself becomes vital. Finding love and friendship in the process leaves you wondering what will happen when you remember? This book explores those questions and makes an excellent read with a surprising twist at the end.

[Meg · Rating 1 out of 5]

Initially gave it 3 stars after reading it last week, because I thought it was just ok. Since then, new revelations have come out about Jen propagating a racist and toxic company culture. With that information, I can confidently say this is not worth the read.

[Kelly Little · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

I love Jen Gotch! I think online she is incredibly open and genuine and unselfish. Perhaps it’s because of this and my propensity to cling to her every word that made me have a neutral appreciation for The Upside of Being Down. This book is a lot of her Instagram content distilled into a singular format, with a smattering of in depth storytelling and insight into her childhood and ban.do. It is additionally an unexpected amalgamation of: self-help, memoir, business and mental health. That being said: I really enjoyed hearing this story, if at times it felt repetitive or quintessential Jen. It was reassuring and beautiful and funny and hopeful. If you’re a business owner, someone who has mental health issues, or are interested in either of those topics, you will appreciate this quick and charming read. If you’re a Jen Gotch superfan, it often feels like you’re reading one long Instagram post which may either delight you or feel redundant.

[Emily Soen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated the mental health aspect to Jen’s story - it felt deeply relatable. Her honesty is what i found so refreshing. She puts the good and the bad out there and owns up to her mistakes. With that said, she also is clearly proud of her accomplishments and gives herself credit where it is due. I think there’s much to take away from her story, mainly how to overcome whatever mental barriers you might have in order to reach your full potential. And don’t be afraid of medication :)

I found myself thinking I could be friends with this lady!

It’s a quick read, lots of funny anecdotes, and I finished it feeling happy.

[Nicté · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book via the audibook read by the author and I loved.
Cooking and preparing to sleep while listening to Jen talk about how her career path wasn't all perfectly traced, and how her mental health shaped the way she related to others, to food, to hobbies, was really soothing. It can serve as a gentle reminder for those of us with mental health issues of the progress we've made or present an alternative to how we are currently feeling, how it is not permanent and how it can change with the correct diagnosis and treatment.

[Kendra schmidt · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.8/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️
I liked this book! It was very Jenny Lawson “furiously happy” but for a professional business owning woman, I.e. distinctly less funny. Still good!! I liked her honest reflections and vulnerability. Though I wish the book would’ve had the tag line “how I succeeded in life despite and in tandem with my mental health struggles” instead of making it sound like her mental health struggles were the reason she succeeded. But still a fun book.

[Sara Ann Callaway · Rating 5 out of 5]

“When things get especially bad, that hope becomes just the tiniest flicker of light in the distance, but it’s enough.”
________
I’ve been eagerly awaiting this book since @jengotch first talked about writing it. I have followed her journey for years now and from her podcast to her social media I’ve found joy, insight, and a renewed sense of hope about my own mental illness.
Jen guides you through her life with mental illness and how it has affected her relationships, jobs, and even how she treats food. An easy and fun read that will help you gain insight about life with mental illness whether you yourself are struggling or know someone who might be.

[Jules · Rating 3 out of 5]

This ones tough to review because I absolutely adore Jen on social media and I respect people who have enough courage to write memoirs relating to their mental health struggles buuuuut at the same time I got the sense that she doesn’t realize what a privileged position she’s in and I had a hard time relating to it and didn’t really get much out of it.

[Isabela Zangarini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jen Gotch truly is a raw and unique human being! This book felt more like I was having a conversation with a good friend. It’s written purely from Jen’s opinions on her own experiences with mental health and how she worked on expressing that in Ban.do, to create a brand that others in similar situations could related to and feel understood.

[hailie · Rating 3 out of 5]

as a memoir, it’s okay. as a memoir about mental health, it’s meh. i love the ban.do brand and have admired jen gotch for a while so i enjoyed hearing about how her life lead up to the success of her business. HOWEVER,, some of the sections regarding her mental health struggles seemed a little tone deaf. ://