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208 pages, Paperback
First published October 8, 2019
I'm waiting behind the flyscreen, feeling everything I'd neatly flat-packed springing up in me.
Winter lingered impossibly, and still we managed to squander it. I had thick Russian classics and some design software to master...
The body has no memory for pain. She'd read that somewhere and believed it true. Now she knew it to be. The year had been an agonising parade of firsts, and at each her grief had astonished her. She wondered if it would be easier to have something definitive to point to, an instance of physical impact: slipping in a wet stairwell... But then there would just be different whys, equally useless, and there would still have been enough room for guilt, cunning shapeshifter that it is, to creep in at the edges.
Across the pond the trees looked soft, naked maple and dogberry with branches furred at the edges, like velvet antler fuzz.
Your whole life could be like this. Arriving always in darkness and waking to something extraordinary.