Born to Shine: Practical Tools to Help You SHINE, Even in Life’s Darkest Moments

by Ashley LeMieux

This powerful memoir and inspirational guide shares a story of loss, resilience, and life-changing lessons found in the darkest seasons of life.
When Ashley LeMieux and her husband lost their children in an adoption battle, it sent her into a tailspin that, ultimately, taught Ashley how to soar. Most people live with constant fears, burdens, and pains that they try to hide from themselves or others. In Born to Shine , Ashley shares a message of hope for women brave enough to admit that everything is not okay. Because the truth is that even when life is in ruins, people can still shine.
LeMieux tells her story in alternating chapters, interspersed with lessons readers can apply in their own lives. It combines personal reflections and practical tools to help women shine despite the darkness, to press forward one day at a time, and to turn their most painful moments into their greatest teachers and signposts to true, deep, unassailable joy.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Book Club, Memoir, Personal Development, Personal Growth

200 pages, Paperback

Published October 8, 2019

About the author

Ashley LeMieux is the founder and CEO of The Shine Project and author of Born to Shine. Her company, The Shine Project, is an online community for women to find support, resources, motivation, and encouragement to triumph over the challenges in their lives. Her website is: www.ashleylemieux.com

Reviews

[Cassandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ashley LeMieux’s story is heartbreaking and profound, but Born to Shine unfortunately lacks the details and meat, for lack of a better term, that I had been looking forward to finally reading. It’s the same bits she has shared on social media throughout the years. Still gut-wrenching, but nothing new if you’ve followed her for any length of time.

I found the self-help parts to be pretty lackluster and generic, and truthfully skipped on over them. The constant use of “Sister” in reference to the reader made me cringe. Are men not allowed to read this harrowing tale?

The foreword/introduction really could have used an editor! There were several glaring errors that even Microsoft Word would have certainly picked up on.

[Sofinka Kalinka · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is heartbreaking, but as touching as the story is - I felt like there is almost no clues on how to shine besides just moving in day by day and believing in God.
The Story of love, loss and resilience is touching, the description of the last phone call with her children is beyond disturbing, it hurts just reading about it.
But the tools were not there for me. It seems like all the phrases you heard before. For me it was not really what I expected

[Elise Egbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked this book more than I expected to. I’ve followed Ashley on social media since her early Shine Project days and I thought I’d probably heard most of her story, so I didn’t think I’d need to read the book. But, I found that I couldn’t put it down. Her perspectives and encouragement aren’t any groundbreaking new information, they’re better than that. They’re cheerleading, build-you-up reminders that you can do hard things and you’ve always had it in you all along. I felt seen. I felt validated in hard things in my life, though my experiences are very different from hers. And I felt a spark reignite in my soul. It was like a solid heart-to-heart with a friend. 💛

[Suzanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've followed Ashley for several years on social media, so was pretty familiar with most of the story she shared in the book, although there were a few things I didn't know. I'm really glad her writing and story resonates with so many people, but for me this book was definitely ... meh. It read very much like a self-published book and lacked real weight or meat, as another reviewer said. I think I know/understand the intent and desire from Ashley in writing this, but I don't know if writing is her strength.

I wanted more from her as she shared her story in this, not just the surface things that happened and her immediate response to things. Who came alongside her to help at different points? Is faith actually something that is deep within her or is it just a prop? And in that last sentence I just wrote, there it is ... I don't think she's figured out yet how "much" of God she can bring into her writing and public life, so it feels lackluster and shallow, and the point of the whole story is her and her family, not a greater God who does things beyond our comprehension. As a wise man once said (paraphrasing), you can be hot or cold but not lukewarm; lukewarm is pointless and gross. Don't be lukewarm.

[Katelyn Gidney · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book. The things she has been through are heartbreaking and could easily break someone. I like that she overcame all of these things and is encouraging others that they can do the same BUT she fails to actually explain how. I don't feel there was much help in this self help book. It was more of a story telling of "I overcame this and I believe you can too" kind of book. It felt jumbled at times and not a clear, concise thought process. I wish I liked it but I just honestly think it was lacking way too much substance to be helpful.

[Taylynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I started this book in 2020 after following Ashley on Instagram. I wanted to learn more about her story and hear some of her wisdom when it comes to grief.

Unfortunately, I found this book really sad. Which makes since if you follow her story. I ended up needing to take a break from it.

Overall I found there were some quotes and passages I enjoyed but mostly this book focused on her story. I’m glad I read it because I now know more about her story but I wouldn’t recommend this as a book that supports with grief.

“Courage always starts small.” (page 89)

“There are no road maps to tell us the right way to go after trauma hits; there are no navigational tools to warn us to take shelter before IT happens…” (page 122)

[Aprill Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved loved this book because I could relate to it in so many ways!! It’s sad but definitely a good read!

[Allie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've always said Ashley has a way of saying just what I need to hear when I read her Instagram posts or listen to her videos, and this book goes above and beyond that. It will meet you right where you're at, no matter what you're going through, because it speaks to the universal human pain points of grief, loss, and fear. Yet she doesn't stop at being relatable . . . she actually teaches you how to move beyond those pain points and embrace what they have to teach us about shining our own light in the world. I can't recommend this book more highly!! It is a must read!!!
I was on the book launch team and provided an early version of the ebook.

[Janalee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Got this for 99 cents on amazon kindle. It was a book assignment for book club.

*This was the sparkliest account of raising foster kids that I've ever read. I'm sure she glossed over the hard times for a reason.

*I think her story would be beneficial for teens because she points out that as a teen, she tried to play up her looks and it always attracted the wrong guys that she had no connection with. Her now-husband was somebody with whom she had no immediate fireworks but instead built a strong friendship with first. All of this after she embraced her inner self.

*About the hard times - the value lies in passing through them, not waiting for them to be over or what is on the other side. lots of helpful reassurance from someone who's been there.

*The part on waking up was my favorite chapter.

[Lauren · Rating 2 out of 5]

I originally found Ashley on Instagram and began following her recently. So I picked up her book from the library to learn more about her story. While her story is heartbreaking and I can appreciate what it takes to be vulnerable like this, I found that most of this book is full of fluff and platitudes. I wouldn't say it was a waste of time but...I personally didn't gain very much, if anything from it, other than learning more about her story. Near the end she states that the point of the book wasn't to share her story but to make the reader take a closer look at their own...but I didn't find that to be the case for me. I also found that there were spelling/grammar issues throughout - was this not thoroughly edited?! The quality of writing in general wasn't great either. Anyway, maybe others will find it more useful.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love it when you read a non-fiction book that reads as easily as a fiction book. Born to Shine was that kind of book for me. I read it so quickly because I didn’t want to put it down, even though I knew what happened in Ashley LeMieux’s story.

Her story is one of heart break and loss. But it’s also one of hope and faith. I love the way she was able to not only survive her loss, but thrive despite it. Through this the reader is able to learn that they too can survive and thrive, no matter what comes their way.

I loved that this book made me laugh in parts, but it also made me cry in parts. It’s a human story and it’s one that everyone should read. Go grab your copy now!

[Naomi Notice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this! Thank you to Ashley for sharing her story with us, I knew about it but lots of details I didn’t know she shared in her book. We are all fighting our own battles, some outwardly and some in secret. Our customised challenges will develop us into the people that we want to be, and at times we feel like we have nothing and we are sinking, but we all have the power and ability to overcome. We all have that light within us to make it. This book was so inspiring! 💜

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I bought it to support the author. There were some platitudes in there. The author went through some really really hard things. It's a quick read. I don't think the book will transform anyone's life, but it could help. My favorite part was when she failed at cheer, but her sister told her something like: good, now you can go and be who you were meant to be.....

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

The best thing about this book isn't the "tools to help you shine," it's Ashley's personal story. It's heartfelt and made me cry. There is a golden sunshine in the center of this book. The love is strong and so is the pain. Not much else matters.

I do really like what she says about courage:

"Courage hurts. Courageousness is not about earning an exemption from pain and fear. It's about accepting their invitation to meet. Courage is showing up to what scares you, invitation in nervous hand, and stepping over the threshold. Courage is not easily accomplished, and often, the process of attaining it is not very fun."

It's clear that Ashley has courage.

This isn't the best or most helpful self-help book I've read, but it is one that shows a real-life example of someone who experiences something horrific but chooses to go on living brightly despite or maybe because of her experience.

I bought this book for my Kindle after following Ashley on Instagram. It's really interesting to "see" someone in social media, to form opinions about them, and then later to learn more about their reality. People and their stories are complicated. I admire Ashley and her family.

[Arielle Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a heartbreaking story. I did feel like the author was scattered and tried really hard to inflate the readers by throwing in “sister” and shallow advice/positivity. I wasn’t always sure at the point she was trying to make. I wish she would have elaborated more in the story than the “tools”

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first discovered Ashley LeMieux on social media and a post of hers about loss spoke straight to my heart. That day I became a fan of hers because she so eloquently put into words what I felt but couldn't exactly describe. I found this book to be very similar to her social media posts that are filled with encouragement and positivity. Reading about losing her kids and not getting a chance to say goodbye is absolutely heartbreaking. She walked the dark paths of grief and as someone who has been there I feel like this book can help a lot of people who are in the middle of their most painful moments. I highlighted so many things in this book and only wish that I would have been able to read back in 2007.

[Claire King · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whatever they may be, we all have our struggles, challenges, or bumps in the road. Ashley shares hers beautifully and intimately as well as ways to shine through them!

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a powerful lesson in learning to "shine" even in your darkest moments. If you've ever experienced grief, heartbreak, trauma, or self-doubt this book will inspire you.

[Stefanie Price · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have not been able to pick this book back up, I enjoy her SM but the book was too hard to get into. I’ll try to gift it to someone else who can appreciate it.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first learned about Ashley LeMieux in November of 2018. She was a guest on the Unspoken podcast, which is one of my favorites. Her story broke my heart, and inspired me at the same time. I began following her on social media, and her positivity radiated in every post. It was infectious. I knew I had to read her book when it became available. I was fortunate enough to get an early copy of the book and while I wanted to speed through it, I knew that to do her writing justice I needed to take my time with it. I needed to let the story seep into my soul. I am so glad I read it that way.

Ashley's story is heartbreaking, but the way she worked with her husband Mike to pull themselves out of the darkest of dark times is an inspiration. I normally go into books like this very carefully. I do not like to feel like I am being preached at. Ashley's way of writing makes it seem like you are sitting with your best friend and getting well needed advice. There are mentions of religion, but it is not "in your face".

This is such a great read and provides you with attainable steps to make your life "shine".

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I highlighted about 75% of this book.

“The fact that life can be dark, unfair, and full of sorrow and grief doesn’t diminish your capacity for light, love and goodness”

“We don’t get to choose what happens around us, but we do have the power over what happens inside us.”

“If the trek gets lonesome for you, I’ve known God to be excellent travel companion”

“Healing isn’t a moment; it’s a movement”

[Stacey · Rating 3 out of 5]

3-1/2 stars. I follow Ashley on IG; she has an incredibly sad story and I was interested in the details of it. I've heard her speak, and she shares most (but not all) of her story on social media, and the book delivered on the details of what happened to her. She has shown great resilience; her book reads like a great pep talk in places, which was ok with me. It was a quick and uplifting read.

[WendyLady03 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Before beginning this book I was expecting it be “cute”, for lack of a better word. Another sunshiny, bubbly influencer sharing insight on how to be sunshiny and bubbly and yet down to earth and relatable. I went into this book with such a big chip already on my shoulder; the first time she said “sister” and then “sisterhood”, I rolled my eyes. Her stories about her crappy car and bug infested condo were relatable, (who hasn’t had an embarrassingly beat up junker of a car?) but the fact that it was so relatable made it hard for me to empathize at first and really buy into the message she was trying to convey. I get it, a roach infestation totally sucks but laughing about it with your significant other makes it easier! Sure. Of course.

Oh, I just thought of a better word, twee. I was expecting this book to be twee.

And it was. It was twee and sunshiny and full of little snippets of advice that would look great written on a picture of a sunset. Everything I was prepared for it to be.

What I was not prepared for, however, was how completely heartbreaking, earnest, and touching this book was. I thought I knew Ashley’s story, but I had no idea. She has been through so much; the crappy car and roaches were the tip of the iceberg.

The last phone call from her child gutted me completely. I felt nauseous and taken aback; I can’t even imagine how she felt. And then to read all the beautiful words she said to her child after they had said so many horrible things to her, I wanted to hug Ashley right then and there.

I am proud and in awe of her for picking up the pieces and being the bubbly, sunshiny influencer that she is. I’m proud of her for also being earnest and not always sunshiny. I’m glad she got to write her story out, and I’m glad it’s helping so many people.

I don’t think any of the advice in the book is groundbreaking, but it IS kinda helpful in its own way. In the same way that Tumblr posts are helpful; small, relatable blurbs of hope and pretty words that, if read at the right moment, can feel like a note from the universe. When I was done with the book though I had a hard time remembering if there were any actual “tools” that were explained well enough to be put into practice.

The biggest thing I took away is that things aren’t always as they appear, especially on social media. You never know what other people have been through, and I did appreciate seeing another side of such a big influencer.

[Lauren]

All of us, all 7.4 billion inhabitants of planet Earth suffer, but why does our unique and personal pain always feel so isolating (p. 1).

The light is yours.... you hold the match and the bucket of water, and both always and only belong to you (p. 3).

Love....but like most invisible, immeasurable things, it isn't especially easy for us to define, it's the mystery that's haunted us, tortured us, and thrilled us, since the very beginning of time, and it means a thousand different things to a thousand different people (p. 9).

We're taught to grow up and find "The One" but girl, you are the one, and you need to be before anyone else an share the honor (p. 31).

Courage hurts. Courageousness is not about earning an exemption from pain and fear. It's about accepting their invitation to meet. Courage is showing up to what scares you, invitation in nervous hand, and stepping over the threshold. Courage is not easily accomplished, and often, is illuminating (p. 87).

Reminding myself that I was alive, courageous, and ready. Breathing kept me focused on what mattered, and so sisters, I ask you to breathe for me right now. You are here, you are living, you are enduring. Anytime you forget those absolutely astonishing truths, you'll find them at the bottom of a deep breath. Sometimes, we fight so hard to merely survive we forget to do the simple things keeping us alive. Life and courage all start with breathing (p. 89).

IT isn't a void; IT is a Usable space. Fill it with Light and Positivity. (p. 172).

[Natalie Polito · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow wow wow wow, who knew how much I needed this in my life right now. Dealing with postpartum health issues 10 months after having my wonderful boy I've been struggling the past two weeks. Honestly feeling lost with my mental health and physical health.

I finished this book feeling more lifted, loved and supported. Ashley's words ring true and apply to any situation that someone is struggling with. I loved how in the title of each chapter it gave a hint of what it was about and you got exactly that, I finished each chapter feeling whole, and a better understanding of how to handle each topic.

I loved how easy it was to read and the flow of her words. I felt like I was sitting in a coffee shop having a conversation with a long lost sister. It's really nice knowing those moments when I feel dark and isolated that she has felt it too and truly her wisdom and advice on steps to let that light in is portrayed so well.

What I didn't expect was honestly the amazing parent advice. Being a new parent myself I have been a little nervous on how best I can be a strong mother for my son. There are so many great passages and examples of wisdom she expressed to her kids that I will take to heart.

I have already/will continue to recommend this book to everyone I know. I already know it can benefit everyone in different ways.

[BookTrib.com]

Imagine becoming permanent guardians for two kids — a girl and a boy. You raise them for four years as your own, giving them love and encouragement they’d never had. Then you pursue adoption. But instead of officially becoming their parents, they are ripped from your home forever, without the chance to even say goodbye.

Author, public speaker, and lifestyle influencer Ashley LeMieux experienced this heartbreaking struggle. But through it, she’s learned how to overcome extreme grief and loss. Born to Shine (Morgan James Publishing) chronicles LeMieux’s journey of healing after losing her children. She explains how she recovered from crushing grief by letting her light shine, and she shows readers how they can too.

Ashley and Mike LeMieux were the proud parents of Z, a four-year-old girl, and her six-year-old brother, S. The kids needed a stable home, and Ashley and Mike wanted to give them one. They hadn’t planned on becoming parents, but almost overnight, they were. Because they said yes, they opened a new and love-packed chapter in their lives, filled with dance recitals, soccer games, and crushed Goldfish crackers in the nooks and crannies of car and home.

The rest of the review: https://booktrib.com/2019/12/on-love-...

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Because the author is related to my son-in-law, I decided to read the book, You Were Born To Shine. It is a self-help biography written by Ashley LeMieux. I’m sure it’s been very helpful for a lot of people struggling with challenges in life. I would recommend it to any young mother or younger woman struggling to find sense of the challenges she’s experienced. Ashley LeMieux shared her soul a heart breaking experience she and her husband recently traveled through together. This book is a mixture of humor, solid Christ-centered living and hard to imagine trials. My reason for giving it 4 stars is the book is also wordy. I much prefer a book that’s tight and well framed. I’m sure Ashley will mature into a beautiful writing style. When the book is pruned down, I think we’ll find a smart and intelligent book. Not to take away from the healing power of this book, but I got the point that Ashley was suffering in agony the first time she said it. It’s ok not to repeat that point throughout the rest of the book. Taking the high road is how Ashley lives her life. Her organization has helped hundreds of women and their families.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've followed LeMieux for years and I will definitely continue to do so. That said - it felt like something was missing from this book. Technically I think it's self help but the parts that actually resonated were all story, not lesson.

Because here's the thing: so often, especially in influencer culture, people are asked to wrap up their stories with neat little ribbons as if they're not still living them. And I could hear in so many of the chapters that LeMieux was still living her story (and a glance at her Instagram tells you that too) and that she wanted us to know she's still in the messy middle, but then the chapter would end with an inspirational lesson. I wonder how much of that was her choice and how much was just the pressure of an editor or a publisher and the culture of toxic positivity that's all over social media.

To put it simply, it's not so much this book I hav a problem with as it is the way too many memoirs get turned into self help books when really, the story is the part we need to share, the part that matters.

[Traci Tyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book 12 of 2020 was recommended by a friend and selected by our cul de sac book club as our February selection (Yes, I know, its still January and I’ve already read the book). The book is “Born to Shine: Practical Tools to Help You Shine, Even In Life’s Darkest Moments” by Ashley LeMieux. I look forward to listening to amazing women as they traveled though adversity and learned to shine again. These amazing group of women did not become affiliated with each other because of hobbies, children’s activities or church. We became affiliated because God picked us to reside on the same street where we are raising our children during the season of life that brought us to this street, this intersection. I am proud to call these women neighbors. Remember that “you are lighting the way for someone just be being here, just be getting up every day and walking into whatever darkness may await. We all face something- you are not alone.” (187 pages)

[Dave · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had a little bit of a hard time getting through this book. A young female friend shared it with me and I read it hoping to understand her a little better. The author kept referring to "dear sisters" so being a guy, I felt like it was not written for me at all. She wrote a lot about her feelings and herself and described the joy and grief over getting and losing her two adopted kids pretty well. That is the bulk of the book. The story reminded me of a divorcing father friend of mine who is not allowed by the court to visit his own daughter. He is also experiencing this kind of loss. This book would probably be good for young women experiencing some kind of deep pain. I did love the chapter on the Christmas trip to the German castle! All in all, a little too much personal story and not enough grounding in scripture for me.