Letting Go of the Need to Be Right: Experience the Power of Humility

by Jeff Dollar, Danny Silk (Foreword)

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” —Anyone who’s mastered the fauxpology We all struggle to admit fault. We defend ourselves, talk more than listen, or find flaws in the messenger to dismiss the message. These habits build walls and leave us estranged and disconnected. Letting Go of the Need to Be Right is an invitation to recognize issues that impede personal growth and hinder relationships. You will learn how - pursue what is right, not who is right. - be mindful of your motives. - allow for creativity and collaboration. - celebrate others instead of stealing the spotlight. We are called to be lifelong learners and servants. When we let go of the need to be right, the pressure to know it all, have it all, and be it all lose their power over us, and we are free to fulfill our calling in God.

141 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 5, 2019

About the author

JEFF DOLLAR is the senior pastor of Grace Center and the cofounder in the School of Supernatural Life in Franklin, Tennessee. He has spent more than twenty years leading people into the presence of God to find the wisdom of God. Jeff and his wife, Becky, live near Nashville with their two children.

Reviews

[January · Rating 3 out of 5]

Letting Go of the Need to Be Right: Experience the Power of Humility by Jeff Dollar, Forward by Danny Silk
141-page Kindle Ebook

Genre: Nonfiction, Christian Nonfiction, Memoir

Featuring: Bible Verses, Perfectionism, Worth, Belief System, Ungodly Beliefs, One Upping, Competition, Unsolicited Information, People Pleasing

Rating as a movie: PG

Quotes: The “perfect” ungodly belief is one that appears to be absolutely true based on the facts of our experience and yet is absolutely false. Even though these beliefs are completely false, most people who think this way do not even realize it. Until an ungodly belief is pointed out to us, we continue on, day after day, living our life based on a lie.

In pondering whether or not to include this experience in this book, I wondered if my propensity for one-upping might be connected to the need to be right. It seems that both are an attempt for personal affirmation. In other words, “an affirmation for me at the cost of affirmation for you.” Proverbs says it so well: “Senseless people find no pleasure in acquiring true wisdom, for all they want to do is impress you with what they know” (Proverbs 18:2 TPT). I have noticed that people often seem to want to one-up each other. In casual conversation, I’ve seen how people, in an attempt to connect, fall into the trap of trying to overshadow each other. It’s unintentional perhaps, but still the end result is the same. Someone usually feels devalued. Conversation shouldn’t be a competition. It should be a means to grow in relationship with each other.

God checked my heart and posed this question to me: “Why can’t a person say something funny and you not add to it?” I thought, I’m doing it again, aren’t I? When God brought that question to my mind, I remembered what I had learned at the restaurant years before. Why couldn’t that same principle of serving a customer be applied in conversation to a friend?

Competition may be a huge factor in our society, but it does not belong in the church. The kingdom is not about competition. The kingdom is about celebration. It’s thinking of others more than yourself. “Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3 TPT). The kingdom is all about supporting each other and lifting each other up, and, most importantly, celebrating each other. We should rejoice when something good happens to someone else. The opposite of celebration is competition, and competition is actually rooted in jealousy.

My rating: ➰️✅️✝️⭐️⭐️⭐️½

My thoughts: 🔖Page 70 of 141 [Chapter] 13 Celebration, Not Competition - This book is interesting and spot in. It is shorter than expected though.

This book wasn't what I was expecting at all. It has some good information] but reads more like a bio.

Recommend to others: Maybe, it certainly is more Christianity, than psychology, and that doesn’t work for everyone.

[Nate Worthington · Rating 4 out of 5]

Soooooo good. Definitely an area I struggle with and this book helped me realize some things about myself that I either didn’t know or just haven’t put much effort into changing. It was very convicting and each chapter ends with a prayer to help with specific aspects of being right. Our world would look totally different if more of us pursued a posture of humility in our discussions and relationships.

Final Rating: borrow it

[Lori Green · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading Jeff Dollar's stories of his life and his experiences. I LOVE to be right and have the last word. I like the idea in Jeff's book where he talks about looking at our motives and not to steal the spotlight. Relationships are important and we often need to look beyond ourselves and our desires to build relationships. We don't always need to be right, we need to experience the power of humility to help build relationships or mend broken relationships. Sometimes our motives cause us to stumble and we are not listening because we are already forming a comeback. We need to slow down and be present. Jeff's book doesn't really share anything I didn't already know, but I enjoyed his stories and seeing his relationship with God as it grew over time. A great reminder of the "Power of Humility". I received this book for an honest review from NetGalley.

[Jens Skov · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical Wisdom for life

Jeff takes us on an honest journey trough his own life and what God has taught him on this journey. It’s full of practical wisdom that goes really deep with some of the barriers to living a life close to the living and loving God.

[David M Dubbeld · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book to make you think

Sometimes we get stuck in our thinking that we are right and everyone else is wrong. This book helped me think through some areas I have felt stuck in for a while now. The author makes it relatable to real world situations.

[Ginny C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent and practical application of truth!

[Kendra Atkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazingly just what I needed

I loved the personal stories with Biblical stories interwoven. I especially like the prayers at the end of the chapters.

[Simone · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you, Netgalley and the author/publisher, for the opportunity to read and review an advanced reader's copy of this book. This in no way affects my review, all opinions are my own.

I was really torn about this book... I think the title is a bit misleading. The book didn't really contain a lot of new insights for me. For me, it was for the most part a "yup, that's how I feel" or "yup, I've learned that the hard way" book. I did enjoy reading about the author's experience and journey in this area, though.