Unkillable Joe

by Joe Vallen

What does a warrior Queen from space, an all-powerful god, and a necromancing frog have in common? Whatever it is, it has something to do with this book... "Unkillable Joe" is what happens when a sub-par comic creator accidentally obtains the power to destroy the Universe with the stroke of a pen. It sounds far-fetched, but it could happen to anyone.

Genres: Fiction

267 pages, Paperback

First published February 4, 2019

About the author

Joe Vallen began his career writing short stories and narratives but has since branched out to comics and now, a novel. His work bounces between horror/action, tragedy (and dark comedy) with much of it blurring the lines between genres. His writing has been called, "genuine" with a flow that is both exploratory, yet familiar. He continues to push the boundaries as a creator by taking classic literary mechanics and fusing them together in unpredictable ways. He has a core audience of loyal readers with an ever-expanding network. In a Vallen-esque world, nothing is off-limits and anything is possible.

Reviews

[Joe Vallen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, this is my book, so I thought I would review it for fun...
It's stupid...
... in the best possible way.
This book is a 4th-wall breaking fantasy romp that centers around a shitty writer named Joe. The narrator hates this man and takes every opportunity to express just that. Even Joe's own characters think they are written poorly (and often tell him so). Things get so out of hand that the narrator's reality is actually threatened by the ridiculousness of it all until he finally has to get involved.
I'm thrilled my debut offering is entertaining so many people already and the reviews on Amazon have been aces...

That being said, this story has strong undertones of self-loathing and anti-suicide themes.
At its core, Unkillable Joe is about coming to terms with who you are, accepting that, and moving forward in a positive way.

That's why it's so important that everyone helps me get the word out about my first-born child.
I honestly think Unkillable Joe can help people in some way (or at least entertain them along the way) so share the Hell out of this, mark it as want to read, and when you get a chance, pick up a copy for yourself or someone battling depression at the moment. You'll be supporting a new Author as well as brightening up someone else's day who might really need it.
2 frogs with one wingtip (you'll have to read the book to understand).

From the writer his other half- the reader- enjoy.
-V.

[Melanie Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe Vallen was able to get me to do something I didn't think was possible. Unkillable Joe is not the type of book I would normally choose to read. BUT, with his amazing marketing talent on Instagram, I could not resist. All summer I kept seeing posts from Joe about his soon-to-be-released debut. I particularly enjoyed the snippets he shared from the book's 'Forward'. Although Joe writes of different worlds, his writing is very down to earth - meaning he writes like we talk. Nothing fancy. This human facet is what drew me into Stephen King's writing as a teenager 30+ years ago and is what still holds me as a reader. Unkillable Joe grabs the reader's attention - part underdog, part idiot, and part loathesome, you want to see what happens next. To me, the story reads like a graphic novel without the artwork. Being an artist and visual person myself, I was able to see how the scenes would have looked if it was a graphic novel. The book throws a lot of punches, leaving the reader anxious to see what Mr. Vallen comes up wih next. Read Unkillable Joe and always cheer for the real-life Joe!

[Nick Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this quirky fast paced book. Literally picked it up and couldn't put it down. I wish this novel was written long ago so I could have read it sooner. Even the forward had me hooked. Definitely a talent and I won't be surprised if the author became wildly rich off this book alone.

[Jimmie Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

After a brief, introduction of the very average, extremely ordinary and utterly vanilla, Joe, I, the reader, was then quickly and abruptly thrust head long and completely unprepared into a battle between two rivaled beings on a distant planet. A jolting way to be introduced to Joe’s creation, Queen Killtits.

The best way I could possibly describe the book from beginning to end, is if Neil Gaiman, Clive Barker and Hunter S. Thompson collaborated on a book and generously donating the best parts of their penance for storytelling. Does it sound weird, well it is. Weird and good. Not once did I find myself looking for a stopping point to do anything else, the novel flowed in a manner that immediately hooked my interest and reeled me in. I felt drawn to the novel, intrigued by the characters, just like I was with the Sandman comic series by Neil Gaiman, The great and secret show by Clive Barker and Fear and loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson. And of yes, you also have to throw in a dash of The Hitchhikers Guide to the galaxy by Douglas Adams, for there is some interesting intergalactic traveling. Sounds like an overwhelming witch’s brew? Well it’s not and before you know it, you’re at the end.

The way the book ends, leaves it open for more stories, more stories that I would gladly read. As for Dr. Weerd’s, Batrachus and the frog, gather your strength gentlemen, tend your battle wounds and I hope to hear more tales of you soon.

[Dave Beightol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just as expected, a way out, but way fun story. Fantastic story from fantastic mind.
Way to go Joe! You might indeed be unkillable!

[Kimber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although otherworldly and outlandish, the characters are somehow relatable, even if only in part. A tale that leaves you wanting more, so long as your back doesn't break first from all the fourth walls he puts you through. Sure to make you crave a pea-butter witch or two.

[Mona Kabbani · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is witty/comical with an interesting plot and overall, a fun read. I love the self depreciating sarcasm and the chapter titles were hilarious once I clicked them together with the theme of the chapter itself. That being said, the toilet humor went a little over my head and sometimes seemed unnecessarily ridiculous (but I’m also not really a toilet humor gal).

The characters were interesting but I wish we got more backstory, especially on Joe the Creator. I’m still not entirely sure what his backstory is despite getting bits and pieces of information to his character. I also wish there was a piece included as to why he created these worlds - was there a particular girl that inspired him to make KT? Did he have some tragic event that made him recede into his imagination? I know that he began writing fiction to escape but so does every writer so WHAT was the signifying event that brought him to this? Also a bit of KT’s fictional backstory - how did she become such a badass godess? Was she just birthed like this??? And Batrachus - OH MY GOD?! How did this frog even gain the ability to speak?? So many questions...
I also feel like there were a lot of subplots that weren’t resolved but they were an intriguing addition to the main plot.

The overall message was intriguing - I LOVED the forward (the forward was beautifully written so it is a definite must read before starting the book), but the theme needed to be fortified. I kinda lost the overall message (or at least what I think is the overall message) throughout the course of the book. Overall, the writing style is amazing and the book is a very interesting read.

[Brandi Briscoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unkillable Joe by Joe Vallen marks the 25th book I've finished this year, and it is f**king great. There is a believable, lovable absurdity to this story that has all the fourth wall beaks one can stand. Then three or six more. This book came stumbling into my life at just the precise moment I needed it. Vallen reminds the reader that writers have no control over their characters. We are just as much along for the ride as anyone.
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I completely fell in love with the ridiculous names and the twisty-turny story. There is also a particular jab at Whovians that made me chuckle regularly. Thanks for the reminder that a sense of humor is best, Vallen. We all need more of that in our lives.
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Unkillable Joe centers around alternate realities and the power of gods and goddesses. And one f*cked off frog. No more on that, you'll just have to read it for yourself.
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Ultimately this story had me giggling through the pages. I couldn't help but think this was written specifically for Ryan Reynolds to read to Kurt Vonnegut on his death bead, Princess Bride style.

[Courtney (courtney_three_tears) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a weirdly wonderful story. I quite enjoyed the unpredictable-ness of it. The basic gist of the story revolves around a terrible comic book writer whose creations come into his world in a very real way. This story jumps back and forth from the comic that he is writing to the real world, and it's almost as if two different people are writing it. The author does an excellent job of writing a terrible comic, and I can't imagine that is easy to do. This story read like a graphic novel, but without any pictures.

I quite enjoyed the humor of this story. It ranged from witty and self-deprecating humor to fart and boner jokes. And, I'm a fan of both. 😆 There were a couple spots in this story that made me chuckle out loud.

This story also contained on the most honest forwards that I have ever read. It was a little glimpse into the author's life, and how he has dealt with every life has thrown at him.

[Savanna Uland]

There was a deep, original point to the story that took me off guard when it arrived. Mr. Vallen made the journey to that point highly entertaining. Action, horror, gore, sex appeal, and total ridiculousness carry on in a fast, casual writing style until suddenly he pulls off making its unfolding events, deep.

The style is breezy, addictive reading. I ended up reading all of its 300 or so pages in just a couple of days.

There are some very striking visual moments too. Probably, that's a talent the author carries over from working on comics in the past.

I would recommend this book to a variety of people.

[S.E. Crawford · Rating 5 out of 5]

“In short— I’ve ripped shit up.”

Okay, this is a fun/crazy whirlwind of a story. If you don’t like ridiculousness and pride yourself on your maturity— go read the dictionary.

I enjoyed the Forward of the story the most. That’s not saying the rest of the story doesn’t have an amazing voice. It does. It’s what really entertained me.

That and the accurate portrayal of not giving too much of a shit what the characters are named. (Killtits, KT, Katie, Kathrynne) What’s in a name?

Read this and have a laugh. People take themselves too seriously nowadays and should really stop.

[Scott Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Refreshingly different

While not a fan of comic books, I am rather fond of dark comedy. This book has this in spades and also introduces the reader to a host of weird and wonderful characters. Fast-paced and well written you never know where the story is going to take you. A fresh and original narrative voice covers the action in a humorous way that makes the journey through this irregular world all the more enjoyable.

[T.B. Wittkofsky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, Fourth-Wall Breaking Adventure

I can't say enough good things about Unkillable Joe. The story was captivating, hilarious, and one of the best concepts I have been enthralled in. Being a writer myself, I felt exceptionally close to the subject and viewed myself as the narrator and the main character at times.

[Keith Parsons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is what would happen if Dragon Ball Z were rebooted by N.K. Jemison with shart jokes. An ouroboros gordian knot of navel-gazing leavened with suspected self-loathing. I have to admit, I was picturing Batracchus as the WB Frog (Hello my baby!) the whole time...

[JuneLee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book on a whim, will definitely be reading the second book. As an avid bookworm, it is difficult to find good novels that both captivate and intrigue. The author does a great job of bringing together a story that calls into great question the theories of creationism and fatalism in the most intricate writing style.

The authors consistent suspension of the fourth wall combined with the multidimensional fictional characters that continuously develop with more naturalism creates a captivating story using two opposing concepts.

Beyond the creative story line, the underlying concepts of the human condition leave the reader deep in thought, a little perplexed, and most of all, less critical of themselves.

[Michelle Piper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid and Different

This book was a quick, easy, short read. If you enjoy comics and dark humor this one is for you.

The concept was fresh and new. Joe's writing is really good; he's not afraid to lean into the scene and ride the humor to make the heavier bits less heavy. It reminded me a lot of the East Coast, and miss my Yankee friends.

My only complaint, is the toilet humor. I'm all for a good shart, or burp, but so many in a collection took away from it. That's not to say don't read it. It's good.

But, that forward was beautiful. Truly. I can't wait to see what else Joe cooks up, because he is incredibly talented.

[Elizabeth Suggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unkillable Joe by Joe Vallen is what happens when two realities collide, bringing in action with comical writing. 

This story is about Unkillable Joe, Joe’s “fictional” characters, the narrator, and a frog. If you’re not paying attention, the high-intensity back and forth may get confusing, and while this could be a detriment, I think it worked for this book. Not only that, but the story seems to be a critique on society. There are certain types of men and women and we explore that in a comedic fashion.

I suggest this book!

[Jordan Encee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is beyond what I expected. I wasn’t for sure what I was expecting after the first chapter. But once the later half kick in it was really interesting. There’s a so much to think about with this story and how it is told but it’s very unique. I don’t think it’s a book for every one however I do think that if you like the weird, out of this world, crazy story. I think this little nugget has what you are looking for!

[Mallorie McCune · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a unique array of chapters in this darkly funny piece of dramatic fiction!! I had no idea what to expect going in, and any assumptions I might have made during the read were also totally shattered by the end. I appreciate the spontaneity of the journey and am so looking forward to the next installments!! Great job, Mr. Vallen! Keep up the weird work!!

[Felix Dimaro · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is hard to describe a book that is literally like none other I’ve read before. Reading Unkillable Joe was something like reading a very detailed comic book while on what I imagine an acid trip must feel like. The story centers around a lowly and (supposedly idiotic) comic book author whose characters come to life. He has to find a way to contain them and the havoc they wreak upon his life and his neighbourhood. From a necromancing frog, to an axe-wielding God from outer space, to the author himself, the characters are dizzying and bold, much like the story itself.

On the surface, Unkillable Joe is full of raunch, toilet humour, and larger than life characters nearly too grand to fit onto the pages which describe them. Below the surface, this book touches upon many important topics, including self-honesty, second chances, self-loathing, and mental illness, among others. I would like to say that it speaks more to the reader who is also a writer, but that might do a disservice to those who enjoy reading with no strings attached. This book, in my opinion, is about positive growth, and everyone can appreciate that.

The issue I had with this book is that the grand characters, and their individual roles, didn’t always make for a cohesive tale. And the breaking of the fourth wall by the author often took me away from the story itself (which may have been his intention). That being said, I must commend Joe Vallen for taking the sorts of risks that most authors wouldn’t even contemplate taking, and for coming up with an original story in a world full of carbon copies. Also, the foreword of this book may be the most honest and captivating foreword I’ve ever read. That alone is worth the price of admission.
Give Unkillable Joe a shot if you want to read something genuinely different and daring.