Mothers in Waiting: Healing and Hope for Those with Empty Arms

by Crystal Bowman, Meghann Bowman

You Are Not Alone

From the moment you cradled your first baby doll, you imagined yourself a mom. Now here you are, a member of the club no one wants to join—the ten percent of women who struggle to fulfill their motherhood dreams because of infertility.   Meghann Bowman knows what it’s like to be part of that club. Along with best-selling author Crystal Bowman, Meghann has compiled 30 hope-filled stories of women who received the same diagnosis and experienced the heartache she did. Contributors include Valorie Burton, Katie Norris, Shay Shull, Stephanie Tait, Kathe Wunnenberg, and more—women whose journeys through everything from infertility and miscarriage to adoption and miracle births will buoy your faith.   Your story may not look the same, or have the same ending, but you don’t have to suffer alone. You are surrounded by a club of Mothers in Waiting—women willing to come alongside you to offer comfort and peace as you wait.

Genres: Nonfiction

210 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 5, 2019

About the author

Crystal Bowman is an author, speaker, and former preschool teacher. She graduated from Calvin College with a degree in elementary education and studied early childhood development at the University of Michigan. Her writing career began in 1990 as a lyricist for children's piano music. She began writing children's books in 1993 and has since written more than 100 books for children and 3 for women. She has written books for many popular children's series, such as Little Blessings, BOZ the Bear, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), Berenstain Bears, and I Can Read! She has also written two books of humorous poetry for children, numerous magazine articles, Bible study materials, and educational resource books. As a speaker, Crystal enjoys sharing her stories and poetry with students in the classroom and also with adults at teachers' conventions, writers' conferences, and women's seminars. "Writing and speaking can be intimidating because in order to connect with your audience you need to be personal and transparent, exposing what's in your heart and soul. But when readers or conference attendees respond positively to something I've said or written, it is humbling and rewarding all at the same time!" Crystal and her husband, Bob, have enjoyed 44 years of marriage and are the parents of 3 grown children and 5 grandchildren. They spend summers in Michigan and winters in Florida.

Reviews

[Kelsi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to Net Galley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

As someone walking the valleys of infertility and pursuing domestic infant adoption, this book arrived at the PERFECT time. Mothers in Waiting is a compilation of 30 women's stories who have walked some sort of infertility or loss in building a family. From PCOS, endometriosis, secondary infertility, miscarriage, and adoption, this book is for any woman who longs for their completed family on God's timing.

Infertility is lonely. There's way more material and support now then there used to be, but it's still a really lonely road to be on. This book is the best resource for women on this path. So often, I whispered "me too," as one of the many contributors poured out their hearts. This is a rare feeling for many women walking this path, and this is truly something I want to press into the hands of every one of my "TTC" friends.

This compilation is deeply rooted in scripture and I found myself highlighting my bible with new verses to pray over this journey. What was impressed upon me time and time again is that this journey is not my own. It's God's. He wants our grief, our frustrations, our joy and we have to give it to him.

[Allison Anderson Armstrong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall I thought this was a sweet book with good intentions and hope-filled stories. I wish they had included more of a variety of women’s stories. (Most of the stories were about women who struggled with infertility, not their husbands, and nobody adopted from foster care or special needs kids that I remember) I was a little disappointed by that, but it was encouraging to read about many other women’s struggles and successes in this painful trial of infertility that some have to go through.

[Kimberly Patton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book would have been so helpful and encouraging when I was going through the deepest struggles with infertility. I would have found great comfort in the stories of these 30 beautiful women. So glad books like this exist!

[Emily Welch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Women sharing about their experiences with infertility. Praying someday I can look back on this experience and understand part of its purpose in our lives. This book gave me hope to see that things worked out according to God’s plan in each of these women’s lives. Would definitely recommend to someone struggling who also seeks to hear success stories from women who have battled infertility.

[Hilary Vanschepen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a hope filled book for anyone who is waiting and longing to be a mother! Such a beautiful reminder that God is in control and his ways are so much higher than our own. ♥️

[Kim Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is filled with honest emotions as women share their story of infertility, miscarriages, and other forms of empty arms. They also share the strength they draw from scripture. Many share how their desires were eventually fulfilled, but without diminishing the hurt of those whose dreams are unfulfilled. These stories are personal, conversational, and comforting. As a young couple, my husband and I experienced these type struggles. The words of those who "have been there" offered extreme comfort. Such is the case with this book. On a professional ministry level, I will suggest this book to the families who are struggling.

[Antonia Guidry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the stories were moving and inspiring.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do not make it a practice of telling my close circle of friends about books they should read, yet I made an exception for this book. Mothers In Waiting is a book everyone should read. From a mom with six living children, most people would never dream that I could have added my stories to those in the book, and the conversations that we have reflect that. My best friends have struggled with infertility, miscarriages, & still births. This book offers a glimpse of what they have gone through, while also clearly showing how the ladies in this book dealt with the unexpected journeys that they traveled on. Pastors, Moms groups, teenagers, this book can be eye opening and encouraging to anyone.

[Leslie Vorndran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I was honored to be one of the contributing writers on this project. Honored, not by the accomplishment of my own craft, but honored to stand among 29 sisters who have walked the painful, silent path of infertility.
Meghann followed through with her vision to bring voices of hope to the desperate place many women know too well. This book will encourage the heart of any woman facing infertility. With stories of pain, hope, and healing, this project is the sisterhood I longed for during my own journey through IVF. It is an honor to be printed alongside such brave women.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

My dear mothers in waiting, please know that you are not alone. God has not forgotten you and his plans for you are so much greater than you could ever imagine.
For 10 years I have searched for a book to tell me how to navigate the journey of becoming a mother. There are books to guide you the moment that pregnancy test turns positive, and all the years of ups and downs to follow, but where’s the “What to expect during infertility, miscarriage, depression, foster and adoption classes”? Where was the book that said I’m not alone? That book was published this year and somehow, at just the right moment, God shown his spotlight on that little Barnes & Noble shelf and I found it. A book of thirty women bravely sharing their stories, struggles, strengths, and scriptures that led them to becoming mothers. Today I share mine...
My Story:
We started out as any “normal” couple. Love, marriage, house, all of our ducks were in a row. So of course babies were next in the line up of life. A few years of trying became trying and eventually we found ourselves in St Louis, MO with a doctor who would give us answers. Our lab work and ultrasounds showed we were not going to get pregnant on our own. How could this be? All I’ve ever wanted was to be pregnant. Every morning sickness, crazy food craving, uncontrollable crying, growing a mini human part of pregnancy was suppose to be something I experienced. We weren’t going to give up our dream so easily, so to science and praying for miracles we went. The following years were a drawn out journey of saving up for IUI after IUI, but 6 procedures later we still weren’t pregnant. By the end of 3 years we had spent over $10,000 trying to get pregnant. Compared to other methods this was so little, but to us we couldn’t continue to pour money and hope into something God clearly did not have planned for us. It took us a few years to process all we had been through. Physically, mentally, and spiritually I was empty. By the grace of God and continuous support from family and friends, we were able to move forward and find a new path to becoming a family. We decided to start with fostering & adoption classes and see where our hearts went from there. Classes were not easy on the heart, but opened our eyes to the need we have for loving homes in this world. Certified to be foster parents and scared out of our minds, we were put on the list of parents available to take in a child to love and to care for. Three weeks went by and every call that came through my phone made my heart stop, of course every call at this point was a telemarketer. Until one day, as I sat with some old coworkers, my phone rang with our very first foster care call. We were given the day to pray about it and ask any questions we could think of, but decided this call was not the the right fit for us or the children. Then, the very next day, we got the “perfect” call. Baby boy needs a loving home in 24 hours. YES! We said YES! Somehow, like a magical whirlwind, we went from having nothing ready for parenting a baby to everything we could possibly need. Our support team was magical. They crammed 9 months of preparation into 24 hours. As we a sat there, on our 3rd load of baby laundry, the love we had bottled up for 10 years was bursting out the seams and ready to shower this baby boy with all the love and care we had. Then 2 hours from being placed with that sweet baby boy, everything fell apart. Baby boy would not be placed with us. I’m not sure why and I’m not sure how, but our first yes was not meant to be. We received 10 calls, texts, and emails for foster and adoption placements since our first yes, but they have not been what God has planned for us. Our hearts are full, our nursery is ready, but as I write this to you I am still a Mother in Waiting.
My Struggle:
In 2nd grade we all came to school one day dressed up as who we wanted to be when we grew up. There were doctors, policemen, and firefighters. All the normal people kids see themselves as in 20 years, but not me. I came to school dressed like a mom. Sewing basket and water baby in tow. I knew at 7 years old that my goal in life was to become a mom. That desire has never changed throughout the years. Every ounce of my body, every piece of my heart wants to be a mom. That’s what God put me on this earth to do, so why is he making it so hard? Why give me a desire so strong and then not fulfill it? I struggled so long with this, through our journey to get pregnant. Every month watching for early signs of pregnancy and every month being reminded that I wasn’t going to carry my own child. Our hoped for biological children, Chip and Jayne, were only created in our hearts and would never pass on their dad’s caring eyes and my cute button nose. The “what could have been” has been my hardest struggle through our journey. Over time I have gradually moved forward from this struggle, but I still have days that remind me of the dream I once had.
My Strength:
There has never been just one thing that has giving me strength through the twists and turns of this emotional roller coaster. The amazing strength my husband has given us through every step of our journey. The incredible family and friends who jumped on this crazy roller coaster with us and continue to lift us up at every moment. My awesome God who has always been there, even when I don’t want to talk to him. My strength at the beginning of this journey is not the same strength I have now. The strength I found more recently was on a day I did not want to be in church. We were a few weeks in to our foster care classes and I was mad. Mad at God, mad at the world, mad that my heart, which had ached for a child of my own for so long, had been trying to change without my consent. I had been like Rachel in the Bible for so long, praying for a miracle baby when all else seemed lost. This particular Sunday as my heart was fighting to stay Rachel, our message was about Naomi. What did I have to learn from her? She’s not the women I am. Then it hit me, as our pastor began to tell the story of Naomi losing all she had and finding joy through her daughter-in-laws child. Another woman’s child gave her joy and lifted the hurt of her loss. I cried through that entire message. The realization that I was no longer Rachel, but I was now Naomi. The hope that I will find joy through another woman’s child has given me strength through this last year.
My Scripture:
"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord". Psalms 27:14
Waiting has literally been my life for forever it seems. Waiting on test results, waiting on miracles, waiting on the call that will make us foster parents. However, I am a woman that believes in the bigger pictures of life and after each waiting period I have been able to look back and see why God made me wait. He has proven time and time again that if I just wait and see, he will show me what I needed to see. You would think after so much waiting I would be much better at it by now, but alas I have so much to learn. This verse gives me hope that all this waiting to be a mother is just strengthening my heart for when I do love a child who needs all the love I can give.
Love,
Tiffany, a mother in waiting

[Jasmine Morse · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a young woman who has been trying to get pregnant for many months now, I know it’s still a bit too soon to say we’re wrestling with “infertility”; however, the ups and downs of yet another month come and gone with no baby begins to take an emotional and spiritual toll after a while (especially when you’re surrounded by people who seem to get pregnant in the first month or two of trying!). I found this book to be hugely encouraging in what is beginning to feel like a long waiting season and the anxiety that can come with that, and I think one of the biggest encouragements is the reminder that He builds families in all kinds of different and uniquely beautiful ways- I can trust Him with our story no matter what it looks like.

I would honestly recommend that all women read this, regardless of how easy or not it is for them to get pregnant or have a family. The journey to and through motherhood is fraught with pain for so many, whether that’s pain due to infertility or miscarriage or stillborn babies or adoptions that fall through. Even if it had done nothing else for me, I would have appreciated this book simply for the perspective and insight it offers into other women’s pain and what gave them strength and encouragement in their seasons of struggle. I feel it has helped equip me in some way to be that much more compassionate and empathetic towards women walking through this journey.

[Britani Sanchez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading these women’s stories. They gave me hope through our own journey, even those who still do not have children. While I understand these were written by women and their struggles, I wish there was a story from a woman dealing with male infertility from their husband. I thought there was going to be one, but then they found out that both of them had infertility issues. I still found myself in these women and their stories and I am encouraged that our story is not over yet either.

[OG · Rating 4 out of 5]

If someone is looking for some encouragement during their infertility battle, this book provides that. It was 30 heartbreaking yet hopeful stories of couples struggling to conceive and all the emotions that you go through in that situation. This book would also benefit those who want to better understand what it is like going through the infertility battle.

Thank you to the publishers for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I am happy to recommend this book.

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mother of two growing boys who struggled with infertility for years in silence, I very much enjoyed the honest reflections of women who walked such a similar path. I’m not sure I could’ve read this book when I was in the midst of my own struggles but it was helpful to read the similarities in the struggles now, in hindsight.

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in the morning during my devotional time. It was really a comfort to read so many stories, with my different circumstances and outcomes. Not every story ended with a biological child, or how they expected, but they all ended up with peace. Good reminder that you’re not alone in your infertility.

[Nickie Mariager-Lam · Rating 2 out of 5]

It ends up being a little repetitive and hard to differentiate between the different 'mothers-in-waiting' due to the way that the book is set up with one personal story per chapter, but all following the same structure.

[Kortney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great collection of testimonials for any woman going through infertility

[Cheri Swalwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mothers in Waiting by Crystal Bowman and Meghann Bowman was a book I’m glad I had the opportunity to read. I haven’t read other books by these authors and I enjoyed how they were able to share other women’s stories about infertility and miscarriage – a topic that is difficult to talk about sometimes. My only regret with this book was the stories shared were so short. I wanted to get to know the women on a deeper level and I felt the stories were rushed. I would just start to feel a connection and it would be over.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion. All opinions expressed are mine.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book shares healing and hope for women who have suffered loss and grief. Story after story reminds us we're not alone. I especially like how there are many contributors with different experiences. While that approach can feel disjointed in some books, Mothers in Waiting tells their stories in a consistent format: My Story, My Struggle, My Strength, My Scripture. This gives the book a seamless feel while introducing us to 30 dear friends who know what it feels like to be where we are. Even if you haven't walked the path of infertility and miscarriage, your life has crossed paths with someone who has. This is a perfect gift for a friend on the journey.

[Adele · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sensitive, thoughtful, brave, and spiritually honest exploration of infertility that features several personal stories of those who have walked this hard road. The book includes a wide variety of voices, so some readers will surely resonate with some more than others. This is a strength of the book, especially since people often use different language/hold different views when it comes to navigating painful experiences while grappling with God’s will,
the role of prayer, etc. Thankful for this collection.

[Adele · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sensitive, thoughtful, brave, and spiritually honest exploration of infertility written by women who have walked this hard road. The book includes a wide variety of voices, so some readers will surely resonate with some more than others. This is a strength of the book, especially since people often use different language/hold different views when it comes to navigating painful experiences while grappling with God’s will,
the role of prayer, etc. Thankful for this collection.

[Michaela · Rating 4 out of 5]

A tad repetitive but mostly beautiful, faithful testimonies of how God walks with women and men through their fertility journeys. I resonated with so much of the pain expressed and so much of the testimony and lessons learned.

[Cristie Underwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

The authors wrote a book that not only offers comfort to those of us that cannot have children, but it also let us know we are not alone and that there are other women that feel all of the pain and envy that we are experiencing.