We Came First: Relationship Advice from Women Who Have Been There

by Jennifer Wright

History's most fabulous, revered, and sassy women provide wise counsel about modern life's romantic complexities, from dating apps, to feminist conundrums, and how not to give a f*ck. In her punchy new book, bestselling author Jennifer Wright imagines how history's most powerful women would approach current-day dating anxieties, with agony-aunt-style questions, quirky illustrations, and more. Witty, intelligent, and charming, We Came First is the modern guide to seduction and dating for badass ladies.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, History, Romance, Historical, Love, Self Help

120 pages, Hardcover

First published October 1, 2019

Reviews

[Jennifer Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the writer of this book I have no bias, but, obviously, it should win every available prize.

[NAT.orious reads ☾ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 very well advised ★★★★✩

This book is for you if… you are in the mood for a feminist read that is not necessarily suited for just one session. Enjoy this funny, informative read piece by piece and learn about love and life from history's great women.[text]

⇝Overall.
I stumbled upon this on NetGalley and requested it, fully well knowing I already had way too many books to read for NG. But the reviews on here and NG were all so great that I couldn't resist. I never can withstand the temptation of feminist reads.

As I said, I don't believe this book should be read in one sitting. It was fun to return to it every evening after coming home and just getting a smale dose of fun, helpful and sometimes even questionable but always historically accurate advice from extraordinary women. Jennifer has a fantastic humour and also manages to bring across some criticism she might have in regard to individual women's actions or states of mind.

Each advice is structured into a letter from a person seeking advice, the woman giving advice and a short profile of said woman, including turn-ons and turn-offs. Sit back and enjoy funny lines from Coco Chanel, Pope Johanna, Amelia Earhart, Marilyn Monroe and many many other famous women who even have been notorious in their times (and maybe today).

There is not much criticism I have to offer, except maybe that overall I would have wished for more information on the individual characters and thus longer advices maybe.

➺The content is structured as follows.
⤐ FLIRTING
⤐ GOING STEASY
⤐ MARRIAGE
⤐ BREAKUPS
⤐ SINGLE LIFE
_____________________
Writing quality + easy of reading = 5*

pace = 4*

plot development = 4*

characters = 5*

enjoyability = 4*

insightfulness = 4*
_____________________
This eArc was provided by Laurence King Publishing Ltd. via NetGalley+ in exchange for an honest review. Thank you very much!

[The Kawaii Slartibartfast · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

This book was funny, poignant, and fiercely feminist.

What if you could go and ask the women of history for advice? Well, now you know! From Wallis to Pocahontas to Josephine questions about relationships are asked an answered.

This book was so much fun to read that my only complaint was that it didn't last longer!

[Daniel Kibblesmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This would be a biased review if the author weren’t so objectively funny, thoughtful, well-researched and insightful in her application of historical heroines to modern day relationship drama. The perfect “pick it up and flip through it and then buy two — one for you rbest friend” illustrated giftbook. I just wish she would also turn it into a podcast.

[mikaela (spinebreaker) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fantastic. A love letter to women of the past and the present. Funny and real. Styled like a magazine and advice column from each historical lady and chock full of good (and bad) advice. Illustrations are incredible. I want to read this book 100 times.

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Epic.
Hilarious.
Wonderful.

[Jesica DeHart · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book totally cracked me up and gave me a new perspective on some of the fiercest women from history. I learned some sage advice too!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

***Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review***
What an utterly glorious collection of women from the past! I've read tons of books that feature strong, brave women, but this one is by far the most interesting. It is told in the form of Dear Abby letters and features responses by some of the most intriguing women from the past. Most of these women were considered progressive for their time, and honestly, some were deeply flawed, but I appreciate that this book is taking a more liberal approach to honoring strong women.

[Csimplot Simplot · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book!!!

[Ann Beej · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute, but facile. One gripe I have is that the women are all presented as they would present themselves -- meaning some objectively horrible things they did are swept under the rug. This leads to truly awful people like Wallis Simpson showing up side by side with women like Josephine Baker or Pocahontas, figures who really do deserve more cultural airtime. Some aspects of complicated relationships are also flattened, sometimes flippantly (Marie Antoinette) and sometimes tacitly (Amelia Earhart).

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

A disappointment after reading her other books (I loved Get Well Soon and It Ended Badly, and I plan to read anything new that she writes). There were some great lines/moments, but overall it was too superficial. It seems like this was an early book for her, and she’s clearly evolved into a much stronger author.

[Sasha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mildly entertaining, but quite forgettable. Reads like a Pinterest board filled with quotes and memes.

[Tekla György (teklakonyvei) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Íme egy remek kis kötet, amely kissé játékosan, kissé humorosan szólaltatja meg a történelem ismert, és kevésbé ismert nőalakjait a párkapcsolatok témájában. Jennifer Wright könyvének nem célja az alapos és átfogó történelmi tudásbázis átadása, sokkal inkább információmorzsákat kínál egy egészen újszerű köntösbe bújtatva.

A Mi voltunk az elsők – Párkapcsolati tanácsok nőktől, akik már átélték…című kötetet én személy szerint azért vettem kézbe, mert a női történelemmel foglalkozó csatornámhoz mindig jól jön az ihlet – ez esetben olyan nők történetei, akik talán kevésbé ismertek vagy populárisak napjainkban.

A kötet szövege önmagában egyébként nem sértő, nem figuráz ki senkit, de tény, hogy eléggé formabontó. Goodreads-en kifejezetten magas, míg a Molyon kifejezetten alacsony százalékon áll, tehát a magyar olvasók körében elég megosztó. Nagyjából olyan egyébként, mint egy női magazin kérdezz-felelek rovata, ugyanis kérdések, problémafelvetések is szerepelnek benne.

Véleményem szerint érdemes a helyén kezelni a kötetet, és főleg a fiatalabb korosztály számára talán pont az átlagostól eltérő formátuma lehet az, ami kíváncsiságot ébreszt a történelem iránt. Szóval bátran belekerülhet a kislányok ajándékai közé, sőt!

Bővebben: https://www.gyorgytekla.hu/2025/02/je...

[Jodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

We Came First is a humor book that packs serious history and messages of empowerment for women. The premise is relationship advice from women throughout history, from Sappho to Pocahontas to Coco Chanel. Many of the women profiled in We Came First empowered themselves and took charge of their romantic lives even though it was difficult, though some women profiled paid a price for not doing so.

Jennifer Wright breaks her book down into categories including Flirting, Dating, Marriage, Break-Ups, and Single Life. Some of the "advice" would be highly questionable (for example, putting laxatives in a romantic rival's lunch a la Nell Gwynn). Much of it is pretty solid underneath the historical framing and jokes.

This would be a terrific gift book or a light read for women into feminism and/or history. It is also encouraging for women in all stages of relationships (or no relationship at all). There are heavy footnotes at the end, allowing for further research. The illustrations are delightful. Above all, it proves that women are not made to be passive or conform to a societal mold.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing an ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an advice column written as though famous women of Western European history had written the answers. There are a few women of color scattered about for good measure as well.

The answers are based on the women's lives and are witty and cleaver and cute, and when I didn't recognize the women, it made me want to learn more about them, which is a good thing.

On one hand I love that the women who are all rather badass, and some I hadn't heard of. But on the other hand, would it have been hard to find some women from non-european countries? Surely there are some out there that would have written witty answers as well.





Fun read. Recommend it, for both the advice, and for the women written about. There are several mistresses I have never heard from.

Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.

[L A · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to Laurence King Publishing Ltd and NetGalley for the Advance Review Copy in exchange for an honest review.

This is a witty take on a self help book with famous women from History taking on the roles of agony aunts answering letters from modern women. It's a fun concept that largely works.

The artwork is colourful and funky and the advice given manages to combine history and humour, the turn ons and turn offs in particular made me laugh.

There's a wide range of women featured including Cleopatra, Josephine Baker, Lucrezia Borgia, Sappho and Julia Child amongst many others. Books like this can often be quite corny but this one stays on the right side of quirkiness.

[Kate Parr · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a really quick, quite funny read. It's definitely aimed at younger women, since I'd like to hope most middle-aged or older women would know most of this advice already! However, there were some really unusual women included, and definitely some that I want to find out more about. My only niggle is a small historical inaccuracy (someone said they had an affair with Edward VII in 1867...except he didn't ascend to the throne until 1901) but it was about a guy, so who cares? The whole thing is just very positive and reassuring that no matter what kind of life or relationship you aspire to, or don't, that's OK!

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jennifer Wright’s books are fantastic. They’re always sarcastically hilarious but also full of interesting information, and this one was no exception.

There were actually quite a few women in this book that I had never heard of before, and I just had so much fun reading this.

4 stars instead of 5 only because it’s pretty short, and also I really wanted more than just one page on each of the women.

[Katarina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining, fun and funny. I love the tongue-in-cheek style, which delivers empowering information about famous women in a brilliant format.
I highly recommend, and also wish it was longer. I was sad to reach the last page.

This book was provided to me by Netgalley in return for an honest review

[Kate Flourish · Rating 5 out of 5]

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[Ppcfransen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely little tongue-in-cheek book with relationship advice (and advice on life in general) from famous women in history. They indeed came first.

I want to gift this book to all my friends, female and male.

I read and ARC through Netgalley.

[Sugarrr · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very funny !! Loved that I got to learn a little bit about each woman and I looked them up on google afterwards because it made me curious about their lives !
Loved the set up of the book with the little profile.

[Linsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is great! I love the vignettes about these amazing women in history. So much I didn't know! Also, I took the quizzes with friends and we had an amazing time doing them, it was seriously great fun!

[Mary Kay · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was great having my husband back after separation a year ago this have brought happiness in my life,this have always been what I have always wished for in my life and I got it so easy through the help of
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[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very funny and tongue-in-cheek

[Kit · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was sooooo gooooood.

[Kirsten Lost 2022 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part agony aunt, part history, all witty and intelligent. I learned a lot about some very cool women and maybe also about relationships too.

[Corin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little history, a little perspective, and a lot of fun!

[Trina Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, cute book that was deliciously feminist. Ending up googling a few women because they were so cool! Fun art, set up in a fun way (like advise columns) quick read