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The Anti-Mary Exposed: Rescuing the Culture from Toxic Femininity
In the late ’60s, a small group of elite American women convinced an overwhelming majority of the country that destroying the most fundamental of relationships—that of mother and child—was necessary for women to have productive and happy lives. From the spoiling of this relationship followed the decay of the entire family, and almost overnight, our once pro-life culture became pro-lifestyle, embracing everything that felt good. Sixty million abortions later, women aren’t showing signs of health, happiness, and fulfillment. Increased numbers of divorce, depression, anxiety, sexually transmitted disease, and drug abuse all point to the reality that women aren’t happier, just more medicated. Huge cultural shifts led to a rethinking of womanhood, but could there be more behind it than just culture, politics, and rhetoric? Building off the scriptural foundations of the anti-Christ, Carrie Gress makes an in-depth investigation into the idea of an anti-Mary—as a spirit, not an individual—that has plagued the West since the ’60s. Misleading generations of women, this anti-Marian spirit has led to the toxic femininity that has destroyed the lives of countless men, women, and children. Also in The Anti-Mary -How radical feminism is connected to the errors of Russia, spoken of by Our Lady of Fatima. -The involvement and influence of the goddess movement and the occult. -The influence of “female” demons, such as Lilith and Jezebel. -The repulsive underbelly of radical feminism’s chief architects. -A look at the matriarchy, a cabal of elite women committed to abortion, who control the thinking of most women through media, politics, Hollywood, fashion, and universities. The antidote to the anti-Mary is, of course, Mary, the Mother of God, known widely as the most powerful woman in the world and the source of the belief that women ought to be treated with dignity. She is a beacon of all the virtues and qualities—purity, humility, kindness, beauty—that oppose this sinister force that has cast its spell upon so many women. Mary’s influence is unparalleled by any woman in history. She is the perfect model of Christian femininity, who desires to be a spiritual mother to us all, leading us to her Son, and to the fulfillment of our heart’s deepest desires.
188 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 1, 2019
483 people are currently reading
2345 people want to read
About the author
Carrie Gress
16 books189 followersCarrie Gress is a Fellow at the Washington, D.C.-based think-tank, Ethics and Public Policy Center and a Scholar at the Institute for Human Ecology at Catholic University of America.
Carrie Gress has a doctorate in philosophy from the Catholic University of America and was the Rome bureau chief of Zenit's English edition. She is the co-author with George Weigel of City of Saints: A Pilgrimage to John Paul II s Krakow and the author of Nudging Conversions, published by Beacon Publishing in 2015.
A mother of four, she and her family live in Virginia.
Carrie Gress has a doctorate in philosophy from the Catholic University of America and was the Rome bureau chief of Zenit's English edition. She is the co-author with George Weigel of City of Saints: A Pilgrimage to John Paul II s Krakow and the author of Nudging Conversions, published by Beacon Publishing in 2015.
A mother of four, she and her family live in Virginia.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 245 reviews
September 17, 2019
This book exhausted me, even though reading the whole thing didn't take more than two hours with copious note taking.
Gress makes frequent extreme and inaccurate claims (like there is such a dieting problem in this country because it is something God "[sat] squarely in the feminine heart"). She complains that even women who faithfully attend mass and actively participate in the spiritual life of the Church somehow still feel outside of it. Gress then immediately argues that "most of what is wrong in the world is an effort of women". Wow. I wonder why any woman would feel outside the Church when you have people in it who write multiple books based on that idea.
This book, despite being published in 2019 and mentioning Rihanna and Moana, is a dated re-litigation of second-wave feminism (that comes dangerously close to blaming Judaism for feminism as antisemites are wont to do) and uses the thinnest veneer of the BVM to cover and justify the most basic arguments of far right gender politics.
Our Holy Mother deserves better. I've enjoyed "The Virgin" by Geoffrey Ashe, the works of Dorothy Day, and "Untie the Strong Woman: Blessed Mother's Immaculate Love for the Wild Soul" by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés.
Gress makes frequent extreme and inaccurate claims (like there is such a dieting problem in this country because it is something God "[sat] squarely in the feminine heart"). She complains that even women who faithfully attend mass and actively participate in the spiritual life of the Church somehow still feel outside of it. Gress then immediately argues that "most of what is wrong in the world is an effort of women". Wow. I wonder why any woman would feel outside the Church when you have people in it who write multiple books based on that idea.
This book, despite being published in 2019 and mentioning Rihanna and Moana, is a dated re-litigation of second-wave feminism (that comes dangerously close to blaming Judaism for feminism as antisemites are wont to do) and uses the thinnest veneer of the BVM to cover and justify the most basic arguments of far right gender politics.
Our Holy Mother deserves better. I've enjoyed "The Virgin" by Geoffrey Ashe, the works of Dorothy Day, and "Untie the Strong Woman: Blessed Mother's Immaculate Love for the Wild Soul" by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés.
March 31, 2025
As soon as I saw my friend, Steph’s review of this book, I knew I had to read it. Besides the fact that my life spans the time period of events described in this book, I have two adult daughters who are also beneficiaries of our toxic ‘culture’.
Dr. Carrie Gress describes how the objectives of second-wave feminism made it clear children were the enemy, preventing women from fulfilling their dreams. Men? Well, they were toys and virginity, what was that all about anyway? Something quickly gotten rid of. Abortion meant freedom for women, so it must be pursued at all costs. Her stories about the anti-heroines of this early group will give you chills, but also reveal their brokenness. They purported to offer the next generation of women happiness when they had never known any themselves, coming largely from broken homes, abused and/or neglected.
The title of the book, The Anti-Mary Exposed refers more to a contrasting spirit than a single individual. The Virgin Mary is often called, the New Eve because her fiat reverses Eve’s rejection of God. God would liberate humanity with the cooperation of a woman, Woman, as Jesus called her. The Anti-Mary, again reverses Mary’s yes.
The point of entry for Satan, according to Gress, is ‘the malcontent heart’. She describes how women compete (we think we don’t) and apparently, we don’t allow non-conformity. When virtue is sought, these tendencies work for the good of the society, but when vice is glorified as it is under anti-Mary—toxic femininity, everyone suffers, especially children, whether they are allowed to live or not.
In subsequent chapters, the lies—predicted by Our Lady of Fatima and spread by Russia—of being able to change human nature, among other things, ‘melted seamlessly into the promises of the sexual revolution. Americans have widely adopted the notion that human nature is infinitely malleable, that a mother, for example, could willingly and pridefully kill her own child, that spouses could forsake each other with the expectation that there will be no consequences to themselves or their children, or that men could lie with each other and expect an open embrace from all and sundry.’ pp55-56
There are further chapters on Goddess Worship, the Anti-Marian Architects, and the New Matriarchy, with an interesting section on the Kavanaugh Crucible.
But the best part of the book so far as I’m concerned is the last third and that is Mary, the Antidote. If the first 2/3 are depressing and old news, the conclusion is beautiful and great news! It consists of seven short chapters about her motherhood, fruit and content, beauty, imitating her, six ways to combat the anti-Mary, helping the walking wounded and a brief list of prayers.
If you don’t have time to read the book or are unsure, check out this interview with the author. It’s a bit long but I think if you even watch some of it you will be impressed. Smart lady. Great book. Worth the time. I bought the actual book so I could pass it on to my daughters.
April 26, 2019: Thanks Stef for your excellent review which made me aware of this important ... crucial ... vital book for today. Started it a week ago and have been reading it between several others plus a myriad of other things. Showed it to my adult daughter and she wants to read it when I'm finished. That's why I got the physical v. kindle so I could pass it around. I want as many people as possible to read this. So far it has not disappointed!
Dr. Carrie Gress describes how the objectives of second-wave feminism made it clear children were the enemy, preventing women from fulfilling their dreams. Men? Well, they were toys and virginity, what was that all about anyway? Something quickly gotten rid of. Abortion meant freedom for women, so it must be pursued at all costs. Her stories about the anti-heroines of this early group will give you chills, but also reveal their brokenness. They purported to offer the next generation of women happiness when they had never known any themselves, coming largely from broken homes, abused and/or neglected.
The title of the book, The Anti-Mary Exposed refers more to a contrasting spirit than a single individual. The Virgin Mary is often called, the New Eve because her fiat reverses Eve’s rejection of God. God would liberate humanity with the cooperation of a woman, Woman, as Jesus called her. The Anti-Mary, again reverses Mary’s yes.
The point of entry for Satan, according to Gress, is ‘the malcontent heart’. She describes how women compete (we think we don’t) and apparently, we don’t allow non-conformity. When virtue is sought, these tendencies work for the good of the society, but when vice is glorified as it is under anti-Mary—toxic femininity, everyone suffers, especially children, whether they are allowed to live or not.
In subsequent chapters, the lies—predicted by Our Lady of Fatima and spread by Russia—of being able to change human nature, among other things, ‘melted seamlessly into the promises of the sexual revolution. Americans have widely adopted the notion that human nature is infinitely malleable, that a mother, for example, could willingly and pridefully kill her own child, that spouses could forsake each other with the expectation that there will be no consequences to themselves or their children, or that men could lie with each other and expect an open embrace from all and sundry.’ pp55-56
There are further chapters on Goddess Worship, the Anti-Marian Architects, and the New Matriarchy, with an interesting section on the Kavanaugh Crucible.
But the best part of the book so far as I’m concerned is the last third and that is Mary, the Antidote. If the first 2/3 are depressing and old news, the conclusion is beautiful and great news! It consists of seven short chapters about her motherhood, fruit and content, beauty, imitating her, six ways to combat the anti-Mary, helping the walking wounded and a brief list of prayers.
If you don’t have time to read the book or are unsure, check out this interview with the author. It’s a bit long but I think if you even watch some of it you will be impressed. Smart lady. Great book. Worth the time. I bought the actual book so I could pass it on to my daughters.
April 26, 2019: Thanks Stef for your excellent review which made me aware of this important ... crucial ... vital book for today. Started it a week ago and have been reading it between several others plus a myriad of other things. Showed it to my adult daughter and she wants to read it when I'm finished. That's why I got the physical v. kindle so I could pass it around. I want as many people as possible to read this. So far it has not disappointed!
February 13, 2020
Benefits of audiobook: cannot throw the book across the room.
Drawbacks of audiobook: the narrator has never actually seen Moana, and doesn't pronounce the names correctly.
I was intrigued by the title of this book and expected it to say something new to help me understand the draw of feminism that I feel in contrast to many traditional Catholics. But the book largely comes across as an arsenal for conservative thinkers to use against "demonic" feminists. There's a point towards the end where she is explaining the birth of the 60's era feminist movement and, while admitting that women were unhappy, suggests that they should have become more conservative rather than fighting for a voice.
Acceptable behavior for women is childbearing and spiritual motherhood. There is NO allowance for womens' vocations outside of the home (despite the author being female and having a prolific writing career). Mentioned as a throwaway are the gains of modern culture such as a woman's right to free herself from domestic abuse. But apparently, by being feminists women (not "true women", btw) are causing unrest in the souls of their husbands so maybe it's all our fault anyway. The advice of this book is to stop seeking satisfaction from anything outside Jesus, Mary, husband and children and I'm the sucker for thinking a Catholic book about feminism would say anything besides.
Drawbacks of audiobook: the narrator has never actually seen Moana, and doesn't pronounce the names correctly.
I was intrigued by the title of this book and expected it to say something new to help me understand the draw of feminism that I feel in contrast to many traditional Catholics. But the book largely comes across as an arsenal for conservative thinkers to use against "demonic" feminists. There's a point towards the end where she is explaining the birth of the 60's era feminist movement and, while admitting that women were unhappy, suggests that they should have become more conservative rather than fighting for a voice.
Acceptable behavior for women is childbearing and spiritual motherhood. There is NO allowance for womens' vocations outside of the home (despite the author being female and having a prolific writing career). Mentioned as a throwaway are the gains of modern culture such as a woman's right to free herself from domestic abuse. But apparently, by being feminists women (not "true women", btw) are causing unrest in the souls of their husbands so maybe it's all our fault anyway. The advice of this book is to stop seeking satisfaction from anything outside Jesus, Mary, husband and children and I'm the sucker for thinking a Catholic book about feminism would say anything besides.
June 1, 2019
The thesis of this book looks towards a deep truth but the author delivered sensational anecdotes instead of substantial arguments.
Good intentions alone does not make good writing, and my high hopes for this book we’re disappointed. There is a need for Catholics to hold up strong theological arguments or clear research demonstrating the harms of bad policy, any many great church writers have done so. I rated this one star because I do not feel this book met that standard.
Good intentions alone does not make good writing, and my high hopes for this book we’re disappointed. There is a need for Catholics to hold up strong theological arguments or clear research demonstrating the harms of bad policy, any many great church writers have done so. I rated this one star because I do not feel this book met that standard.
November 1, 2020
I really wanted to love this book, but there were too many flaws with it for me to recommend it:
1. Several times the author failed to cite major claims or statistics. Which leads to point 2.
2.There was an assumption that the reader was already familiar with the framework of thought and agreed with the author. So, the small nuggets that were interesting were often left unexplored or fully explained.
3. There was far too much focus on the far left feminist movement. While the fringes shouldn't be ignored, citing extreme examples of darkness (and only those) didn't really build a strong case against some of the more subtle, pervasive, and seemingly moderate but still harmful ideas that are common now.
4. The remedies proposed fell super short given the diversity of readers who could potentially look to this for guidance.
As an orthodox Catholic looking to improve my understanding of authentic femininity and masculinity in the practical sense, I really wanted to use this book as launching point. But it fell incredibly short.
1. Several times the author failed to cite major claims or statistics. Which leads to point 2.
2.There was an assumption that the reader was already familiar with the framework of thought and agreed with the author. So, the small nuggets that were interesting were often left unexplored or fully explained.
3. There was far too much focus on the far left feminist movement. While the fringes shouldn't be ignored, citing extreme examples of darkness (and only those) didn't really build a strong case against some of the more subtle, pervasive, and seemingly moderate but still harmful ideas that are common now.
4. The remedies proposed fell super short given the diversity of readers who could potentially look to this for guidance.
As an orthodox Catholic looking to improve my understanding of authentic femininity and masculinity in the practical sense, I really wanted to use this book as launching point. But it fell incredibly short.
March 27, 2019
What every woman needs to read today.
Personal experiences and observations have taught me that what we need is a new revolution of women: women who listen to God's voice and follow His will. Women who recognize just how much power has been given to them through their womanhood. Not power as the world understands it, but power via our femininity and our maternity. There is no career that compares to birthing and raising souls for the Lord. Carrie Gress tells us exactly why in this book.
Personal experiences and observations have taught me that what we need is a new revolution of women: women who listen to God's voice and follow His will. Women who recognize just how much power has been given to them through their womanhood. Not power as the world understands it, but power via our femininity and our maternity. There is no career that compares to birthing and raising souls for the Lord. Carrie Gress tells us exactly why in this book.
March 4, 2020
I should preface this review by mentioning that I do believe in the fundamental premise of the book, which is that there is such a thing as personified evil and that it is manifesting in an attack on femininity/womanhood. Because of this, I was looking forward to reading a book elaborating on what I have already sensed from my own experience and from various forms of media.
Unfortunately, this book was a disappointment. I felt that arguments tended to be flimsy, and there was little effort at any sort of academic rigour. I get that this is not an academic book, so I don't expect massive amounts of endnotes and references to dozens of obscure papers. However, this book swung so far in the other direction that I got the impression that this was 200 pages of opinions with little grounding in practical reality.
For another book on a similar topic, but much more solid and persuasive in my mind, I'd recommend Sue Ellen Browder's Subverted: How I Helped the Sexual Revolution Hijack the Women's Movement. It doesn't talk about the "anti-Mary" specifically by that name, but you can see it in action in Browder's descriptions of how she saw this force operating in her experience. The Anti-Mary Exposed is perhaps worth perusing to see what kinds of ideas are out there and worth researching on your own, but I wouldn't recommend it for any serious purpose, such as persuading someone who doesn't currently believe there is any sort of anti-Marian influence in today's feminist movements. The arguments are just not strong enough here.
All in all, an important topic, but not a well-executed study of it.
Unfortunately, this book was a disappointment. I felt that arguments tended to be flimsy, and there was little effort at any sort of academic rigour. I get that this is not an academic book, so I don't expect massive amounts of endnotes and references to dozens of obscure papers. However, this book swung so far in the other direction that I got the impression that this was 200 pages of opinions with little grounding in practical reality.
For another book on a similar topic, but much more solid and persuasive in my mind, I'd recommend Sue Ellen Browder's Subverted: How I Helped the Sexual Revolution Hijack the Women's Movement. It doesn't talk about the "anti-Mary" specifically by that name, but you can see it in action in Browder's descriptions of how she saw this force operating in her experience. The Anti-Mary Exposed is perhaps worth perusing to see what kinds of ideas are out there and worth researching on your own, but I wouldn't recommend it for any serious purpose, such as persuading someone who doesn't currently believe there is any sort of anti-Marian influence in today's feminist movements. The arguments are just not strong enough here.
All in all, an important topic, but not a well-executed study of it.
May 24, 2021
Got 50% through it & gave up. This is like if the mom from the Duggars tried to write a DaVinci Code fanfic. On the one hand, I’m stunned that this got published & that people pay money for it. On the other, it’s great evidence that if you slap religion on your wild ideas, you can get pretty much anything published.
July 7, 2021
I wish it had been a little longer and more in-depth, however, it’s always refreshing to see a book that tackles feminism at the root! Feminism is not simply wrong because of the sexual revolution or abortion. It’s much more than that. Feminism is based upon a fundamental rejection of God’s design for women at its very core. I really liked how the author put this idea into spiritual terms.
February 23, 2021
Judgmental, uncharitable, lacking compassion and mercy.
August 10, 2022
3.5
It's catholic so the theology doesn't always line up with the Bible, but there was a lot to learn and glean throughout in regards to the roots of feminism, history, and living a feminine life as God created women.
If you get past the parts where they ascribe false deity to Mary, this was still a good overview and reminder of how God created us as women.
It's catholic so the theology doesn't always line up with the Bible, but there was a lot to learn and glean throughout in regards to the roots of feminism, history, and living a feminine life as God created women.
If you get past the parts where they ascribe false deity to Mary, this was still a good overview and reminder of how God created us as women.
May 5, 2021
If you’re conservative woman who despises feminism (or what you think it is), you’ll love this book. If you’re a liberal or even just moderate woman trying to figure out how to reconcile the places where the Catholic faith and feminism don't align, then this will be a hard one. The first half of the book is largely just the author's opinion and biased citation only of arguments that support her opinion (she even cites literal demons from an exorcism). Places where there should be citations are plentiful. Much of the first half really reads as anti-radical-feminist propaganda. The way the book discusses anyone who disagrees with the one mold of a Catholic woman described in this book is honestly hard for me to read as a Catholic woman myself. The discussions about LGBTQIA+ folks and those with mental health concerns is honestly distasteful and incredibly insular. The second half of the book doesn't quite save the intent of this book, but I do agree with the basic tenets of Catholic teaching described, as well as the importance of Catholic women looking to Mother Mary as a guide for how to be a good mother, partner, and support to others. A gentle reminder here that Mary was without sin, because she was and is special, and most of us women on the planet today have to work hard to get to that place and figure out what works personally for us in our own lives. To compare ourselves to her and feel guilty that we can't reach that standard isn't fair nor do I think that is what God ever intended for us. All this being said, I strongly believe that the world is not as dichotomous as this book makes it seem. Women of today have some hard choices to make and things to balance. Feminism is not inherently a bad thing, nor does it limit women (or men) in the way this book described. This book uses biased opinion to escalate the argument of traditional women versus more progressive women, and that is a damn shame. I really hope anyone reading this does so with a critical eye and can form their own opinion in the end, especially if they want to see our Church get stronger and united as the body of Christ, instead of more divided.
January 9, 2022
Such a missed opportunity! I had high hopes for this book, but it was a disappointment. The author painted the feminist movement in dangerously broad strokes, used us vs. them language throughout, introduced unnecessary and unhelpful political examples (Example: Sarah Palin held up as a paragon of virtue), and chose some of the most extreme examples from the feminist movement (witchcraft and satanic rituals) to make her points. The book lacked nuance and acknowledgement of the positive aims of early feminism. In order to be in the world, we ought to be willing to engage with it critically in charity. Instead, this book painted modern feminists as a dangerous, homogeneous group deserving of our prayers and pity. Books that use this type of vitriol and tone only further alienate “them” from the Church. Let’s do better.
April 8, 2019
It brought the chaos and darkness of modern tweaked feminism into focus. Names are named and techniques are described. But it doesn’t leave us hopeless. No, I am first going to reconsecrate myself to Mary and then lean heavily on her for words and actions of wisdom and compassion. Women are SO deceived! And walking in darkness. Go to Mary. Ask her to lead all of us to her Holy Son.
May 16, 2020
While I may have agreed with some of the general sentiments of the book, it was sadly poorly delivered. There were so many times when the author simply did not cite her sources, especially when it came to particularly inflammatory claims, anecdotes, or “quotes”. I noted each one I noticed, and am happy to provide page numbers should anyone wish to have them for their own ponderings.
The Church is in desperate need of scholars with integrity who are dedicated to making good intelligible arguments. This book will likely only appeal to people who already agree with Gress. At that point, it’s really just shouting out into the void. It’s hardly constructive and because of the lack of citations or substantial evidence it’s a weak critique as well. I was so disappointed with this book!
Despite these shortcomings it gave me a lot to think about that I will use to motivate my own research for the purpose of debate in the future. Mainly I worry that the poor scholarship of this book detracts from some really important arguments that I want to have a greater presence in public debate.
The Church is in desperate need of scholars with integrity who are dedicated to making good intelligible arguments. This book will likely only appeal to people who already agree with Gress. At that point, it’s really just shouting out into the void. It’s hardly constructive and because of the lack of citations or substantial evidence it’s a weak critique as well. I was so disappointed with this book!
Despite these shortcomings it gave me a lot to think about that I will use to motivate my own research for the purpose of debate in the future. Mainly I worry that the poor scholarship of this book detracts from some really important arguments that I want to have a greater presence in public debate.
July 21, 2022
I am not quite through the book yet, and I may update this review when I am, but so far I find this book to be very poorly written and the premise poorly argued. Thus far, about halfway through the book, the writer has never seriously sought to understand and debate the claims of feminism, instead setting up a straw man to subsequently tear down. She blatantly glosses over the reasons for the feminist movement in favor of ad hominem attack and hasty generalization to discredit it. She also portrays the “feminist” and even the working woman in general in broad strokes; her description of female interaction in the workplace is completely foreign to my own experience. (Perhaps a discussion of St. Edith Stein or Pope St. John Paul II would have been helpful in this segment so that the author can weigh their arguments on the merits of feminine presence in the workplace.) I sometimes wonder if she even thinks well of women at all, considering she begins by highlighting female vulnerability as one of the cornerstones of motherhood (rather than, for example, the mental fortitude needed to manage a household of small children). I do hope to see more serious engagement with the actual reality of feminism and its claims in the second half of the book, but I am not hopeful with what I have seen so far.
April 14, 2021
If you’re a rad-feminist your going to hate this book. That’s why I love it! 😏 Well researched and full of nothing but the truth! I would have given this a five star review except I feel the end of the book was lacking a bit. Still, very worth the read!
January 16, 2022
alarmingly bad and out of touch
would recommend literally anything else
would recommend literally anything else
August 22, 2023
My second time reading this book and I got more out of it this time then the first! Some of my favorites from the book:
“Our Lady’s (Mary) virtues are beautiful and a guide for us as mothers and women. Mary’s vocation is femininity, motherhood, patience, suffering and glory, and to live and work for Gods Glory. “We can learn so much from Our Lady on saying yes and all of her virtues. One of my favorite things Our Lady has shown me is to love my femininity.
“Parents are vitally important to the faith of children. Parents are the bridge for between children and God. They are the icon of God’s unconditional love. The love of mothers fosters faith. “
“Mary’s surrender is based on the reality that she knows she is loved. “
“Those who had bad parents aren’t orphans. God can overcome any wound of the heart. Mary our mother in the order of grace from God and Our Father will not leave us parentless. One of Mary’s titles is mother of orphans. “ whew. Such a beautiful reminder and something I am so thankful my Faith has shown me.
Modern Feminism is anti Mary because Mary is the greatest example of acceptance of motherhood, femininity, sacrifice, love, selflessness, grace in the face of trials and sorrow, patience, and love of her Father.
For those needing a warning, the book does talk about a lot of the dark,sad aspects of modern feminism that came out in the 60s/70s. Abortion. Rituals. Divorce. A little on exorcisms. All mentioned pretty intensely in the start. That may be hard for some, but the need for that is to show how drastic things became and why they became that way. It’s necessary to then show the beauty and graces of femininity and being like Our Lady.
“Our Lady’s (Mary) virtues are beautiful and a guide for us as mothers and women. Mary’s vocation is femininity, motherhood, patience, suffering and glory, and to live and work for Gods Glory. “We can learn so much from Our Lady on saying yes and all of her virtues. One of my favorite things Our Lady has shown me is to love my femininity.
“Parents are vitally important to the faith of children. Parents are the bridge for between children and God. They are the icon of God’s unconditional love. The love of mothers fosters faith. “
“Mary’s surrender is based on the reality that she knows she is loved. “
“Those who had bad parents aren’t orphans. God can overcome any wound of the heart. Mary our mother in the order of grace from God and Our Father will not leave us parentless. One of Mary’s titles is mother of orphans. “ whew. Such a beautiful reminder and something I am so thankful my Faith has shown me.
Modern Feminism is anti Mary because Mary is the greatest example of acceptance of motherhood, femininity, sacrifice, love, selflessness, grace in the face of trials and sorrow, patience, and love of her Father.
For those needing a warning, the book does talk about a lot of the dark,sad aspects of modern feminism that came out in the 60s/70s. Abortion. Rituals. Divorce. A little on exorcisms. All mentioned pretty intensely in the start. That may be hard for some, but the need for that is to show how drastic things became and why they became that way. It’s necessary to then show the beauty and graces of femininity and being like Our Lady.
January 2, 2021
Wow! I could not put this book down. The author lucidly connects the dots between Marxism, sexual revolution, and the (bad) fruit that has spread through our culture. Her description of the 12 women who started the women’s lib movement was disturbing. Most women today have unwittingly fallen for—or at least been influenced by—the false promises of “liberation”. Myself included! This book exposes those falsehoods and points us to the true antidote, Mary the mother of God.
March 9, 2022
A must-read for dissecting and identifying the front of the war on Judaeo-Christian civilization that specifically targets women and motherhood.
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June 27, 2023there's a lot of important / beautiful things in this book. there's also a few things I think could be reconsidered, primarily in the introduction. overall found it quite thought-provoking and reallllly glad I found it at some thrift store a few months ago.
Beautiful things!!! <3!!!
"Far from an obstacle to her Son, she is the portal through whom so many faithful have been brought closer to him. Saint Bridget of Sweden was told by the Blessed Virgin, 'My son and I redeemed the world as with one heart.' To embrace her Immaculate Heart is to simultaneously embrace his Sacred Heart" (120).
"Our Lady is a warm and tender mother to us all. At the foot of the cross, through the horrible laboring of Calvary, she accepted us as her children..." (123) and "In Scripture, at the foot of the cross, Mary is there, along with two other women named Mary...they are all named Mary for a real reason: our salvation comes at the foot of the cross when we are present to Christ like Mary was" (165!!!)
**"Mary's surrender is based upon the reality that she knows she is loved, and she has no shame, no fear, no emptiness in her soul, no wounds of rejection or abandonment that compel her to keep something for herself the way the rest of humanity does" (128)
"In the Mass for the old rite of marriage, the Church reminded marrying couples that 'sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy, and perfect love can make it a joy'" (145)
Important stuff
"The thrust behind feminist ideology is that in order for men and women to have equal treatment, they must become exactly the same. Any sort of difference must be overlooked. We have to ignore the fact that women have babies and are physically weaker on the whole than men. We have to ignore the fact that transgendered men who transition to women are really not women, and we have to ignore the fact that there is no physical way that two men can have a baby, even if they feel entitled to parenthood and at any cost" (56-57).
"Even that woman who undergoes surgery to transition into a "male," at her core, is still a woman made for mothering. One hundred years from now, her bones will tell the real story, and there will be no sign left that she was a he [italicized] because her hips and arms are still those of a woman, and her proportions will still be female" (62)
"We don't hear about the broken woman after an abortion, the career woman who wished she had more children (or any children at all), the extensive physical damage caused by the pill, or the children devastated by divorce. And yet, this is the wreckage left behind by the culture the matriarchy has produced" (90)
Feminism as a "badge" that people want to proudly wear: "Nevertheless, because of its sense of sisterhood and commitment to 'girl power,' feminism is the badge carried by nearly every modern-day woman who considers herself liberated, self-determining, and independent" (90).
"Our world has become an orphanage, which is what happens when we get rid of the cross and 'the Woman who stood by it'" (83)
"Feminism was supposed to improve women's lives. Unfortunately, feminist responses to the world's problems have actually further enslaved women in poverty, broken relationships, diseased bodies, empty houses, and so on" (185)
Beautiful things!!! <3!!!
"Far from an obstacle to her Son, she is the portal through whom so many faithful have been brought closer to him. Saint Bridget of Sweden was told by the Blessed Virgin, 'My son and I redeemed the world as with one heart.' To embrace her Immaculate Heart is to simultaneously embrace his Sacred Heart" (120).
"Our Lady is a warm and tender mother to us all. At the foot of the cross, through the horrible laboring of Calvary, she accepted us as her children..." (123) and "In Scripture, at the foot of the cross, Mary is there, along with two other women named Mary...they are all named Mary for a real reason: our salvation comes at the foot of the cross when we are present to Christ like Mary was" (165!!!)
**"Mary's surrender is based upon the reality that she knows she is loved, and she has no shame, no fear, no emptiness in her soul, no wounds of rejection or abandonment that compel her to keep something for herself the way the rest of humanity does" (128)
"In the Mass for the old rite of marriage, the Church reminded marrying couples that 'sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy, and perfect love can make it a joy'" (145)
Important stuff
"The thrust behind feminist ideology is that in order for men and women to have equal treatment, they must become exactly the same. Any sort of difference must be overlooked. We have to ignore the fact that women have babies and are physically weaker on the whole than men. We have to ignore the fact that transgendered men who transition to women are really not women, and we have to ignore the fact that there is no physical way that two men can have a baby, even if they feel entitled to parenthood and at any cost" (56-57).
"Even that woman who undergoes surgery to transition into a "male," at her core, is still a woman made for mothering. One hundred years from now, her bones will tell the real story, and there will be no sign left that she was a he [italicized] because her hips and arms are still those of a woman, and her proportions will still be female" (62)
"We don't hear about the broken woman after an abortion, the career woman who wished she had more children (or any children at all), the extensive physical damage caused by the pill, or the children devastated by divorce. And yet, this is the wreckage left behind by the culture the matriarchy has produced" (90)
Feminism as a "badge" that people want to proudly wear: "Nevertheless, because of its sense of sisterhood and commitment to 'girl power,' feminism is the badge carried by nearly every modern-day woman who considers herself liberated, self-determining, and independent" (90).
"Our world has become an orphanage, which is what happens when we get rid of the cross and 'the Woman who stood by it'" (83)
"Feminism was supposed to improve women's lives. Unfortunately, feminist responses to the world's problems have actually further enslaved women in poverty, broken relationships, diseased bodies, empty houses, and so on" (185)
July 17, 2021
Would have to agree that it fell short with respect to writing style, citation and expanding on certain very important points. However she hits the nail on the head on a number of points and some of the things she said were very useful to help me reorient myself to be more other-centered and embrace a truly Marian spirit. Her reflections on Marxism, feminism and human nature were of particular interest to me. Much to ruminate over
January 18, 2024
This book was very enlightening, informative and interesting! The author does a great job explaining the history of the feminist movement and how it started, she also gave helpful advice in ways to combat the Anti-Mary agenda, such as praying the Rosary daily, fostering a devotion to Our Blessed Mother and being of service to others that need it most!
January 28, 2025
Definitely convicting of the need to protect and foster true femininity in today’s age.
November 6, 2025
Throughout my time reading this book I felt myself becoming defensive at some points, having to pause and really think on why I was becoming that way, and realize my need of humility. The author did a good job laying out the facts of history with feminist movements and I learned several things I hadn’t heard about that I want to look further into.
April 20, 2021
An absolutely fascinating read about how our culture has gotten to the point of embracing toxic femininity that people have fallen prey to without even realizing it. Dr. Carrie Gress doesn’t shy away from fully exposing the truth behind the lies of the culture that have lead (and continue to lead) many women towards lives that are empty and unfulfilling. She points us towards our deeper vocation to love as well as to treasure our womanhood, especially looking to Mary as the ideal. I highly recommend it!!!
July 21, 2021
Though this book has very strong opinions, and at times feels a bit like a rant from the author against secular feminism, it is important to read and be aware of the ways that the world is lying to women and promising us happiness when it cannot deliver.
I am glad I read this book and believe it can provide real talking points in today’s culture war against women and the emptiness promised to them.
It is also no surprise that social media outlets censored this book and I find it quite ironic that in it she literally states: “The non-woman, therefore, must be denied a voice so that she cannot do damage to the ideological bulwark holding up the effort [of promoting secular feminist ideals].” Whether you agree with her viewpoint or not, this is worth a read to form your own opinion about the information you are provided with every day, especially when it comes to what promises will make women happy. (Hint: it’s not abortion.)
I am glad I read this book and believe it can provide real talking points in today’s culture war against women and the emptiness promised to them.
It is also no surprise that social media outlets censored this book and I find it quite ironic that in it she literally states: “The non-woman, therefore, must be denied a voice so that she cannot do damage to the ideological bulwark holding up the effort [of promoting secular feminist ideals].” Whether you agree with her viewpoint or not, this is worth a read to form your own opinion about the information you are provided with every day, especially when it comes to what promises will make women happy. (Hint: it’s not abortion.)
April 4, 2022
Given all that this book was hyped up to be, I was pretty unimpressed.
I was hoping for insightful analysis - most of what I read was unsubstantiated diatribe. Honestly, reading it felt like reading a Jezebel article, just aimed at the 'other side'. Many of the author's key points were based on anecdote, and some of what was cited was about the very fringes of the feminist movement, not the mainstream. I really understand that she doesn't like or approve of feminism, but trying to use the worst examples of it to get us to agree with her is a poor tactic.
I wanted to like this book. Disappointed that all the hype is for nothing really!
_____
Update: I reread this, because a Catholic women's group I was in was reading it and enjoyed it. I thought "what am I missing?" so I read it again to see if I had changed my mind.
Nope.
For me, it was that the author didn’t look for anything redeeming about feminism. All feminists/modern women are in the sway of the devil, is essentially the message I got (and an underlying tone of "And Thank God I'm Not One Of Them").
I kept wanting a more measured look at *why* all the bad things happened. Why were virginity and motherhood seen as such traps to be escaped from? The answer in the book is just “the anti-Mary spirit took hold”, or “they had terrible mothers”, but historically it’s not like we’ve ever really had virginity and motherhood appreciated “properly”. If the 50s were actually so great then the 60s never would have happened. The lack of appreciation of literally the rest of history before 1960 bothers me - as well as the complete and utter lack of recognition that men also had something to do with this.
JPII talks about a new feminism in a positive light, and the necessity for it, in Mulieris Dignitatem, and his Letter to Women. He recognises the dignity of women, the fact that it hasn't been upheld throughout generations, apologises for it, and puts some thoughts together about how women can finally be measured according to their actual worth in society.
I genuinely would never recommend this book to a non-Catholic, as too much is taken for granted (e.g that Marxism is obviously bad) for it to speak to someone who isn’t at least familiar with and/or not antagonistic towards Catholicism.
She makes lots of interesting points, but it’s telling that some of the chapters were first online articles, as they are a bit sparse on background detail sometimes. She makes lots of statements that aren’t backed up by anything - like women wanting to be beautiful and it (apparently) not being to do with cultural conditioning, or the way women relate to each other being very different to how men relate to one another (which there is some research to support, but she never mentioned it, just gave it as a statement…).
Books/reading I'd recommend instead: Architects of the Culture of Death (Wiker and De Marco), and Emily Stimpson Chapman's Substack "Through a mirror darkly"- one recent offering talks about women in the Church and it is SO GOOD.
I was hoping for insightful analysis - most of what I read was unsubstantiated diatribe. Honestly, reading it felt like reading a Jezebel article, just aimed at the 'other side'. Many of the author's key points were based on anecdote, and some of what was cited was about the very fringes of the feminist movement, not the mainstream. I really understand that she doesn't like or approve of feminism, but trying to use the worst examples of it to get us to agree with her is a poor tactic.
I wanted to like this book. Disappointed that all the hype is for nothing really!
_____
Update: I reread this, because a Catholic women's group I was in was reading it and enjoyed it. I thought "what am I missing?" so I read it again to see if I had changed my mind.
Nope.
For me, it was that the author didn’t look for anything redeeming about feminism. All feminists/modern women are in the sway of the devil, is essentially the message I got (and an underlying tone of "And Thank God I'm Not One Of Them").
I kept wanting a more measured look at *why* all the bad things happened. Why were virginity and motherhood seen as such traps to be escaped from? The answer in the book is just “the anti-Mary spirit took hold”, or “they had terrible mothers”, but historically it’s not like we’ve ever really had virginity and motherhood appreciated “properly”. If the 50s were actually so great then the 60s never would have happened. The lack of appreciation of literally the rest of history before 1960 bothers me - as well as the complete and utter lack of recognition that men also had something to do with this.
JPII talks about a new feminism in a positive light, and the necessity for it, in Mulieris Dignitatem, and his Letter to Women. He recognises the dignity of women, the fact that it hasn't been upheld throughout generations, apologises for it, and puts some thoughts together about how women can finally be measured according to their actual worth in society.
I genuinely would never recommend this book to a non-Catholic, as too much is taken for granted (e.g that Marxism is obviously bad) for it to speak to someone who isn’t at least familiar with and/or not antagonistic towards Catholicism.
She makes lots of interesting points, but it’s telling that some of the chapters were first online articles, as they are a bit sparse on background detail sometimes. She makes lots of statements that aren’t backed up by anything - like women wanting to be beautiful and it (apparently) not being to do with cultural conditioning, or the way women relate to each other being very different to how men relate to one another (which there is some research to support, but she never mentioned it, just gave it as a statement…).
Books/reading I'd recommend instead: Architects of the Culture of Death (Wiker and De Marco), and Emily Stimpson Chapman's Substack "Through a mirror darkly"- one recent offering talks about women in the Church and it is SO GOOD.
July 13, 2019
John Paul the Great once said, "know what you are talking about." Sadly, in this post-modern world, history has been glibly thrown out the window and tradition set aside. Moreover, all-too-often, basic facts of reality are now deemed irrelevant, if not outright harmful. Gress is a breath of fresh air - while obviously aimed at Catholics, this book should be recommended reading for any woman, especially the chapters on the origins/motivations for the creation of the Pill, the appalling and disturbing lives of people like Kate Millet ("sexual politics" author), and the way the media has irrevocably changed the way we think.
I urge all women - whether you agree with me (or Gress) or not - take ownership of your ideas - don't be afraid of words like "virginity'" "motherhood," or "humility." Getting to know Mary - the antecdote to so much pain, hostility, and misunderstanding - is a good place to start.
I urge all women - whether you agree with me (or Gress) or not - take ownership of your ideas - don't be afraid of words like "virginity'" "motherhood," or "humility." Getting to know Mary - the antecdote to so much pain, hostility, and misunderstanding - is a good place to start.
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