Please Don't Piss on the Petunias: Stories About Raising Kids, Crops & Critters in the City

by Sandra Knauf

Please Don't Piss on the Petunias is a collection of essays and stories by a Colorado gardener with a to give her two daughters the nature-centered childhood she had always longed for. When her husband finds an old house in a quirky part of town, she begins to make her dream a reality.Engaging, edgy, and often hilarious, Please Don’t Piss on the Petunias follows Sandra Knauf as she turns a weed-filled yard into an urban paradise.Over the course of several chaotic years, • Muddles through "mistress gardener" training, learning the ABCs of horticulture.• Raises, with her young daughters, exotic breed bantam chickens named after Greek goddesses• Goes on her first bee-swarm capture.• Discovers that a hen in their small flock has undergone a sex change.• Copes with a series of family a rambunctious rescue Dalmatian, a destructive black Lab puppy, and a counterfeit teacup Chihuahua with a bad attitude.• Adds to the animal Netherlands dwarf rabbits, fancy backyard goldfish, triops from the age of the dinosaurs, and more.Through creating a life filled with plants and animals (and plenty of love) Sandra makes a discovery that will resonate with any Going off the beaten path may be the best way to find out who you really are.

249 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 25, 2019

About the author

Aside from her fiction writing, Sandra Knauf is the publisher and editor of Greenwoman Magazine, a garden writing magazine. She was a 2008-09 featured “Colorado Voices” columnist for The Denver Post and her essays have appeared in GreenPrints, MaryJanesFarm Magazine, Colorado Gardener and other publications. Sandra has also been a guest commentator on KRCC’s (NPR's southern Colorado affiliate) “Western Skies” radio show. There she read her essays, including one about a chicken in her family's flock that changed from a hen to a rooster (a true science story!). Sandra lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado with her family, three dogs, urban garden, and lots of books.

Reviews

[C. Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fresh writing in this collection of essays about a woman who dreamed of raising her family in the nature-centered childhood she'd craved. If you've ever dreamed of heading to the country and learning from scratch how to start a small farm, to get closer to nature and feel more whole. . . this is a wonderful feel-good collection. Chickens, bees, dogs, goldfish, rabbits. Sandra Knauf grows closer to nature, to her family, but also to herself. Makes you want to live next door to her. This book is a nice, healthy gift to yourself. Recommended.

[Ginger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. I grew up on a farm and in a home with many, many pets. I applaud Sandra for making her dream of giving her girls a country childhood in a crowded part of her town. How amazing to watch those chicks hatch. Or to create a beautiful yard. Or have a hen change to a rooster. This book shows you that having pets, flowers and now stoves can be a dream come true. I loved the laugh out loud moments. I shed many tears as well. This is a memoir like none you will ever read. I very highly recommend this book to anyone. This book is filled with love and great life stories. This book is a keeper and will never go to the library as I will reread it several times. Or even just pick some of her experiences to read to help my day be better.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

A charmingly disorganized book of stories by a local author. Her writing is so down to earth - pun intended - that I feel like I know her having read it. In truth she lives a dog’s walk away from me on the Springs’ West side. I’d love to meet her someday.

[Lois Kirk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. It was a positive and fun read with lots of information about gardening and various creatures too.

[Kayla Benedick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute read!

It was a cute relatable read! Very inspiring for the gardening enthusiast. A little slow at times but worth the time!

[Manoel Silvestre-Borges · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good story about a Master Gardener

Really enjoyed the book up to the part about Barry O’Bummer and the Bernie Bros. Otherwise it was a great read. Fortunately that’s at the end.