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Things That Shatter: A Memoir
Winner of the 2019 Daybreak Press Book Award for Best Non-fiction Biography/Memoir , Things That Shatter is a "superbly written... honest, gritty... page-turner will have you either nodding sagely as you recall your own experiences or making a map of what to avoid – but either way you’ll be in awe of Kaighla, her son, and their journey."
In 2009, Kaighla—a young, single mother from the Midwest, and a fresh convert to Islam—married the Egyptian sheikh of a mosque in Brooklyn. Unbeknownst to her, he hadn't divorced his wife back home and was about to be deported. Two years later, she moved with him, her son, and their baby girl to his hometown in rural Egypt, where she was abused and neglected—along with his first wife—for the next four years.
A story about what happens when Muslim women are broken by Muslim men and find the courage to heal themselves through the real Islam, Things That Shatter aims to shed light on abuse and healing within the Muslim community and to help vulnerable women protect themselves from men like him.
More than anything, this story is a Muslim convert's re-declaration of faith that there is no God but God, and it serves as a reminder that women have intrinsic worth in God's eyes, beyond and outside of their relationships to the men in their lives.
In 2009, Kaighla—a young, single mother from the Midwest, and a fresh convert to Islam—married the Egyptian sheikh of a mosque in Brooklyn. Unbeknownst to her, he hadn't divorced his wife back home and was about to be deported. Two years later, she moved with him, her son, and their baby girl to his hometown in rural Egypt, where she was abused and neglected—along with his first wife—for the next four years.
A story about what happens when Muslim women are broken by Muslim men and find the courage to heal themselves through the real Islam, Things That Shatter aims to shed light on abuse and healing within the Muslim community and to help vulnerable women protect themselves from men like him.
More than anything, this story is a Muslim convert's re-declaration of faith that there is no God but God, and it serves as a reminder that women have intrinsic worth in God's eyes, beyond and outside of their relationships to the men in their lives.
- GenresIslamNonfiction
317 pages, ebook
Published April 1, 2019
245 people are currently reading
216 people want to read
About the author
Kaighla Um Dayo
4 books19 followersKaighla Um Dayo is a writer, poet, and editor. She is the author of "Things That Shatter" and "The New Muslim's Field Guide"—two winners of the 2019 Daybreak Press Book Awards—as well as her first poetry collection, "Hallelujah, Dammit". Kaighla lives with her four children in central Illinois.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
April 10, 2019
This is a book that obviously needed to be written. It's the kind of story that you know was bursting the free itself from the author. There was a lot of pain and grief that needed to get out and onto the page. The author herself admits that this was the case and that writing all that she experienced in her marriage to a "sheikh" and her time spent living in rural Egypt with him was cathartic.
I am also a convert to Islam, with ties to Egypt through my husband and I found out about this book through the social media of another Western convert living there currently. (There's literally dozens of us!) Conversion to Islam (I personally prefer the word convert to revert, others differ) is such a rocky road. Not to say there aren't sweet highs, of course there are as you draw closer to God and His people. But it is rough going through that change. Then add to that period also trying to adjust to a new marriage and it is doubly so. Now if that marriage is also abusive...well then you have a story such as Um Dayo presents here.
When I was circling conversion and mulling it over, I would search the internet and forums reading many such stories of women who had converted. It was full of so much good but also stories like this which is honestly sad that they are somewhat common. Western women who convert to Islam are often targeted for marriage, almost always by abusive and manipulating parties. They know these women are easy pickings for whatever perverted ways and unIslamic things they want to get away with. This is not only found in Islam. Rather it is the m.o. of any abusive and transgressive people. Abusers look for people who are cut off from family or culture, small children who can't speak up, or women who have been abused in the past. Young convert women tick almost all of these boxes.
The hard part of Um Dayo's life are laid bare here. I struggle with anxiety and it made me anxious. It is important story to have out there because this scenario is NOT uncommon. Women need to be made aware that abusers and transgressors hide in all manners of disguise, even that of "educated" men of faith. But beware if you struggle with anxiety, or the fear of being helpless while in charge of children (my own special breed of anxiousness) then you may want to read the synopsis and have a friend fill you in on the details.
I really enjoyed Kaighla's insights about faith and culture. There isn't much of that here but when she does have realizations, they were close to a lot of my own and I imagine it is part of being a Western convert to Islam that much of the illusions we are taught through our individual societies get broken down through learning Islam and interacting with communal Muslim cultures. She ends the book not with a happy ending but with her reality that things are still hard, and a work in progress every day. I'd love to hear more of what she has learned about Islam and was pleased to see she had coauthored a book about converting The New Muslim's Field Guide and look forward to reading that next.
Um Dayo includes a preface to her book warning those that this is not a story which is mean to demean Islam or Muslims, but rather abusers and transgressors. So for those looking for a conversion story or to learn more about Islam or Muslims, you will not find that here. (Though I did enjoy a lot of her commentary on Egypt and would enjoy reading a book about that and, for as she wrote "Egyptians, amirite?!") Rather this is a sad horror story as to what can go wrong when people manipulate religion for their own means. Why fighting the patriarchal influences that pervert any religion is SO important. Um Dayo has given us a personal account which shows that the tradition of patriarchy is far from a victimless crime. As Muslims it is our duty to take such stories to heart as warnings. For as the Qur'an says "And when it is said to them, 'Follow what Allah has revealed,' they say, 'Rather, we will follow that which we found our fathers doing.' Even though their fathers understood nothing, nor were they guided?"
I thank Um Dayo for sharing her pain. May Allah heal her and all those who have been hurt by such misguidance. May we take her warning to heart to all work toward a better way, ameen.
I am also a convert to Islam, with ties to Egypt through my husband and I found out about this book through the social media of another Western convert living there currently. (There's literally dozens of us!) Conversion to Islam (I personally prefer the word convert to revert, others differ) is such a rocky road. Not to say there aren't sweet highs, of course there are as you draw closer to God and His people. But it is rough going through that change. Then add to that period also trying to adjust to a new marriage and it is doubly so. Now if that marriage is also abusive...well then you have a story such as Um Dayo presents here.
When I was circling conversion and mulling it over, I would search the internet and forums reading many such stories of women who had converted. It was full of so much good but also stories like this which is honestly sad that they are somewhat common. Western women who convert to Islam are often targeted for marriage, almost always by abusive and manipulating parties. They know these women are easy pickings for whatever perverted ways and unIslamic things they want to get away with. This is not only found in Islam. Rather it is the m.o. of any abusive and transgressive people. Abusers look for people who are cut off from family or culture, small children who can't speak up, or women who have been abused in the past. Young convert women tick almost all of these boxes.
The hard part of Um Dayo's life are laid bare here. I struggle with anxiety and it made me anxious. It is important story to have out there because this scenario is NOT uncommon. Women need to be made aware that abusers and transgressors hide in all manners of disguise, even that of "educated" men of faith. But beware if you struggle with anxiety, or the fear of being helpless while in charge of children (my own special breed of anxiousness) then you may want to read the synopsis and have a friend fill you in on the details.
I really enjoyed Kaighla's insights about faith and culture. There isn't much of that here but when she does have realizations, they were close to a lot of my own and I imagine it is part of being a Western convert to Islam that much of the illusions we are taught through our individual societies get broken down through learning Islam and interacting with communal Muslim cultures. She ends the book not with a happy ending but with her reality that things are still hard, and a work in progress every day. I'd love to hear more of what she has learned about Islam and was pleased to see she had coauthored a book about converting The New Muslim's Field Guide and look forward to reading that next.
Um Dayo includes a preface to her book warning those that this is not a story which is mean to demean Islam or Muslims, but rather abusers and transgressors. So for those looking for a conversion story or to learn more about Islam or Muslims, you will not find that here. (Though I did enjoy a lot of her commentary on Egypt and would enjoy reading a book about that and, for as she wrote "Egyptians, amirite?!") Rather this is a sad horror story as to what can go wrong when people manipulate religion for their own means. Why fighting the patriarchal influences that pervert any religion is SO important. Um Dayo has given us a personal account which shows that the tradition of patriarchy is far from a victimless crime. As Muslims it is our duty to take such stories to heart as warnings. For as the Qur'an says "And when it is said to them, 'Follow what Allah has revealed,' they say, 'Rather, we will follow that which we found our fathers doing.' Even though their fathers understood nothing, nor were they guided?"
I thank Um Dayo for sharing her pain. May Allah heal her and all those who have been hurt by such misguidance. May we take her warning to heart to all work toward a better way, ameen.
January 6, 2021
captivating and heartbreaking. i struggled with this book -- if it had been fiction i could have just hated saber and rooted for kaighla and been done with it. knowing this is all true and he's in canada likely still preying on women left me feeling furious and helpless. i hope any woman who encounters this man finds this book before he manages to entangle her. may god reward kaighla for speaking her truth in the face of obstacles
5 stars
5 stars
May 14, 2019
This is a book that I could not put down and read from the beginning to the end in only a few days. It is heart compelling and I think it is great for anyone to read. Being a Muslim woman myself, I am so happy to see someone share their true and raw story. Kaighla, you really wrote an amazing memoir.
January 12, 2021
OMG, where do I even start. I don't think I've read a non-fiction book so fast. Absolutely 100% recommend. This book was full of heart-wrenching moments but it also really lets the reader see the thought process of someone being emotionally abused and how difficult it is just "up and leave" as many people suggest; it's more than that, master manipulators are the best at what they do and they weave you into a web of isolation and guilt. This book is such an eye-opener, especially to any woman who is a new revert to Islam, it cations women to question everything and make sure the information you are receiving has a valid source. You may think that this book leads the reader to see that Islam allows abuse but you can find this same story in not just other religions but cultures as well. This isn't a single person's story about the horrors of Islam but of how there are many people in the world, both good and bad. This actually helped me understand that we (news and social media) often see things that we think are Islam but in reality, it's just culture that intertwined and taken over the religion. I cannot express how much I think every woman should this book, ignorance is not bliss.
July 2, 2021
What????
From one dumb mistake to another, the author left me flabbergasted by her awful decision making skills. Why on God's green earth would she marry ANY man be barely knew???? And to do this over and over again! The words I remember most from this book is when the author stated: "against my better judgement"... What judgement? is the only real question I have.
From one dumb mistake to another, the author left me flabbergasted by her awful decision making skills. Why on God's green earth would she marry ANY man be barely knew???? And to do this over and over again! The words I remember most from this book is when the author stated: "against my better judgement"... What judgement? is the only real question I have.
August 11, 2023
Somewhere in between the pages, I wanted to shake the author for her choices. I came across this book almost 15 days back & was able to read it today. Though the choices that she made throughout her journey were hers but it did put her in despair. On personal level her story is heartbreaking and on societal level it is infuriating. I am always fascinated to know how women live in different cultures. Kaighla tells her story with revealing honesty and her experiences after the conversion. And I feel this is the story of many such "Kaighla" who are still getting manipulated. And all the more shameful is that some people's modus operandi is just to gaslight others.
February 11, 2021
Let me begin on a good note, this book was easy to read and beautifully written. There is no doubt that the writer is talented. I finished it in about two days. My problem with this book is the annoying self pity and playing the victim. What the author went through was emotional abuse, manipulation at the hands of a "godly" man. But what infuriates me is the fact that every opportunity she had to get out and start over she blames religion for going back. This happens about 5 times in the book.
This is a book for American converts who have the options/ privileges to flee at any point.
White American converts to Islam, marries a man she met online, already found he lied to her, marries him anyway. Finds out he has been married several times, and is still married to a woman (his cousin) in Egypt. Decides to MOVE TO EGYPT so her and her husband can live with his other wife who knew nothing about her by the way. The real victim here is that poor girl his first wife who had to endure it all and now has to deal with his new american wife. All the author does at this point is complain complain complain about a country SHE wanted to move to , about a situation SHE wanted. She moved to Cairo where she had a great job and was taking care of her kids but decided to move back to the village.
At one point she moves back to America with her 3 kids to have her 4th child. Moves in with her little sister who was working two jobs to provide for them. With no job and relying on her sister she complained about her sister having a guy over one night. She complained about her mom not helping enough. She complained about everyone not helping enough. Pure annoying entitlement.
She moved back to Egypt and what does she do? complain some more.
My point is this is the story of an American convert. That should be read by American converts. People with choices, where getting out is always an option. Someone from a third world country like me, would not be able to grasp this. For us there are no embassy's to run to if our husbands wont listen to us. There's no family in America to financially help. There is no choice for us. And in my opinion the author failed to acknowledge this.
This is a book for American converts who have the options/ privileges to flee at any point.
White American converts to Islam, marries a man she met online, already found he lied to her, marries him anyway. Finds out he has been married several times, and is still married to a woman (his cousin) in Egypt. Decides to MOVE TO EGYPT so her and her husband can live with his other wife who knew nothing about her by the way. The real victim here is that poor girl his first wife who had to endure it all and now has to deal with his new american wife. All the author does at this point is complain complain complain about a country SHE wanted to move to , about a situation SHE wanted. She moved to Cairo where she had a great job and was taking care of her kids but decided to move back to the village.
At one point she moves back to America with her 3 kids to have her 4th child. Moves in with her little sister who was working two jobs to provide for them. With no job and relying on her sister she complained about her sister having a guy over one night. She complained about her mom not helping enough. She complained about everyone not helping enough. Pure annoying entitlement.
She moved back to Egypt and what does she do? complain some more.
My point is this is the story of an American convert. That should be read by American converts. People with choices, where getting out is always an option. Someone from a third world country like me, would not be able to grasp this. For us there are no embassy's to run to if our husbands wont listen to us. There's no family in America to financially help. There is no choice for us. And in my opinion the author failed to acknowledge this.
April 22, 2025
Before buying this book, I already knew that I would read it in a few days, ignoring bedtimes and prolonging my breakfast, unable to put it down. Yet when I finished it, I still needed to digest the feelings it arose in me. This is a powerful story, more so since there is no artifice in it: it’s raw and real like life. Sometimes it made me feel terribly. Often it just baffled me, how the author can pick herself up over and over, when everything and everyone has decided to throw her down. Resilience is the bittersweet word that comes to my mind.
Sadly, I think many women can relate to letting themselves go, to giving up control or changing at the hands of a skilled, deceitful someone. The fact that this person would use faith to mask their agenda is just an extra serving of “how dare anyone”. But people dare, sadly, and nothing is holy when it means getting their way. Eventually, it falls on the shoulders of a brave woman to deal with all the pain of the mess that their refurbishing and our self betrayals walk us through. And this one is a brave one.
If you don’t relate it’s fine, but it’s no less of a good reading choice. If only to exercise some compassion and empathy.
Sadly, I think many women can relate to letting themselves go, to giving up control or changing at the hands of a skilled, deceitful someone. The fact that this person would use faith to mask their agenda is just an extra serving of “how dare anyone”. But people dare, sadly, and nothing is holy when it means getting their way. Eventually, it falls on the shoulders of a brave woman to deal with all the pain of the mess that their refurbishing and our self betrayals walk us through. And this one is a brave one.
If you don’t relate it’s fine, but it’s no less of a good reading choice. If only to exercise some compassion and empathy.
September 15, 2020
Kaighla plays victim perfectly!
I am fascinated by the lives women live in different cultures. Off the bat the author is defensive telling the reader this isn't a typical Muslims are bad book, yet all she does is complain about the life she CHOSE! She married husband number 2 barely knowing him, who was the stereotypical muslum husband; wanting an obedient wife who he abuses and neglects. Unable to financially care for herself and son, she adds 3 more to the brood and expects her younger sister to put the 5 of them up. Sister takes on a second job to support them all.
Her situation was deplorable and she places a lot blame for her choices on others. At one point she calls out Trump supporters as bigots because they intruded on her sanity.
I am glad this book was VERY inexpensive! I would never recommend it
I am fascinated by the lives women live in different cultures. Off the bat the author is defensive telling the reader this isn't a typical Muslims are bad book, yet all she does is complain about the life she CHOSE! She married husband number 2 barely knowing him, who was the stereotypical muslum husband; wanting an obedient wife who he abuses and neglects. Unable to financially care for herself and son, she adds 3 more to the brood and expects her younger sister to put the 5 of them up. Sister takes on a second job to support them all.
Her situation was deplorable and she places a lot blame for her choices on others. At one point she calls out Trump supporters as bigots because they intruded on her sanity.
I am glad this book was VERY inexpensive! I would never recommend it
April 6, 2019
Good book until the end when she called all Trump supporters bigots.
I did not like the fact that she called all Trump supporters bigots at the end. Very judgemental. If I would have known this I would not have read her book.
I did not like the fact that she called all Trump supporters bigots at the end. Very judgemental. If I would have known this I would not have read her book.
July 30, 2022
Where do I start……
It was difficult to decide how to rate this book. Should I base it on my emotional reaction, on my impression of the author’s actions, or the writing quality? I decided to base my 2-star rating on the writing quality. It was unpolished, more of an informal blog-style rather than professional. The episodic style ( this happened, then this happened, then I did this, he did that) became repetitive and sometimes confusing. It also would have helped to give the reader some sense of setting for her time in Egypt. We get a few glimpses, such as the condition of the hospitals, but some description of location and context would have been helpful for the reader to picture life in rural Egypt.
This book evoked many feelings, although possibly not the ones the author intended. My first impression was that the author was immature, impetuous, and - despite her bravado - insecure, and trying to fill the hole inside her in all the wrong places. As the book continued, it was increasingly frustrating to watch her make the same mistake and sabotage herself over and over again. Then at some point in the book - when she wanted the crucifix removed from her room in a Catholic hospital - I felt like shouting “the world does not revolve around you.”
Kaighla does acknowledge in the epilogue that she realizes she had unhealthy patterns of reacting. I hope she is getting the help she needs to heal, and that her children have plenty of stability and support.
Lastly, her sister Ariel is an amazing person. Her example of compassion and forgiveness is inspiring for anyone of any faith.
It was difficult to decide how to rate this book. Should I base it on my emotional reaction, on my impression of the author’s actions, or the writing quality? I decided to base my 2-star rating on the writing quality. It was unpolished, more of an informal blog-style rather than professional. The episodic style ( this happened, then this happened, then I did this, he did that) became repetitive and sometimes confusing. It also would have helped to give the reader some sense of setting for her time in Egypt. We get a few glimpses, such as the condition of the hospitals, but some description of location and context would have been helpful for the reader to picture life in rural Egypt.
This book evoked many feelings, although possibly not the ones the author intended. My first impression was that the author was immature, impetuous, and - despite her bravado - insecure, and trying to fill the hole inside her in all the wrong places. As the book continued, it was increasingly frustrating to watch her make the same mistake and sabotage herself over and over again. Then at some point in the book - when she wanted the crucifix removed from her room in a Catholic hospital - I felt like shouting “the world does not revolve around you.”
Kaighla does acknowledge in the epilogue that she realizes she had unhealthy patterns of reacting. I hope she is getting the help she needs to heal, and that her children have plenty of stability and support.
Lastly, her sister Ariel is an amazing person. Her example of compassion and forgiveness is inspiring for anyone of any faith.
October 9, 2022
Excellent read
So many outsiders to the Muslim faith wonder why women wear the habit and Anaya and so on. Why do these women convert to a religion so patriarchal and strict? But the same.can be said of many religions. Catholic nuns wear habits and cover their hair and.wear black robes, too. Why are they seen differently? This is why I read. I see that it isn't the Faith that is the problem or the women, but often the few male teachers and leaders of any faith that use it wrongly and misinterpret it as a means of controlling women for themselves as men. It is deep, and I love that Khaighla does not turn from her faith but is strengthened by it thru her abuse by a Sheikh that happens to be corrupt with narcissism. The story is deeper than cultural differences. It is a woman's story of survival, not about Islam being misogynistic, bc it is not, and Khaighla's story clarifies this to those outside the Muslim community.
So many outsiders to the Muslim faith wonder why women wear the habit and Anaya and so on. Why do these women convert to a religion so patriarchal and strict? But the same.can be said of many religions. Catholic nuns wear habits and cover their hair and.wear black robes, too. Why are they seen differently? This is why I read. I see that it isn't the Faith that is the problem or the women, but often the few male teachers and leaders of any faith that use it wrongly and misinterpret it as a means of controlling women for themselves as men. It is deep, and I love that Khaighla does not turn from her faith but is strengthened by it thru her abuse by a Sheikh that happens to be corrupt with narcissism. The story is deeper than cultural differences. It is a woman's story of survival, not about Islam being misogynistic, bc it is not, and Khaighla's story clarifies this to those outside the Muslim community.
October 25, 2019
This woman.... I finished this read in less than 2 days. Mesmerized by the life and stories of this young, strongwilled, loving mother. Her stories, as sad and horrific as they were, tell of a life so many women endure still to this day. Kaighla is an amazing woman and mother, her strength and love shine bright all throughout this book. She has a blessing for writing as well as being able to vividly share her experiences and make the reader feel as if they are there with her. Many times during this read, i found myself crying and also yelling. This book was one of the top reads i have read in a long time. I applaud kaighla for her strength and perseverance to be where is she is today, a loving mother, wife, sister, and daughter. I wish nothing but the best and highest wishes in everything she reaches to achieve for her and her family. God bless!
February 20, 2021
The fact that I read over 300 pages in 3 days (while dealing with taking care of 3 kids and a household) should be testament that this book was one I just couldn't put down. This book will make you want to rip your hair out and scream SO MANY TIMES for so many different reasons. You may even have to walk away from it at times if it is overwhelming and/or triggering for you. Trigger warnings: psychological abuse, neglect, gaslighting, suicide attempt
This book was written well, in plain English, in a way that keeps you reading. I appreciate that Kaighla was authentic and honest in her writing. She owns her faults and holds other accountable for theirs. I read this for a book club that I am a part of and I cannot wait for our discussions. It will be very rich indeed! Highly recommend this book.
This book was written well, in plain English, in a way that keeps you reading. I appreciate that Kaighla was authentic and honest in her writing. She owns her faults and holds other accountable for theirs. I read this for a book club that I am a part of and I cannot wait for our discussions. It will be very rich indeed! Highly recommend this book.
August 15, 2022
nickie72ok
I really enjoyed this book. I think I kept seeing the author as my child. I thought isn’t that just like the young to just jump without looking. I think she would have saved herself a lot of heartbreak by really reading up on Islamic laws and Muslim husbands and talking to wives of foreign husbands. Being so young she listened to these men. They all seem to have their own agenda . Her husband Sabar knew when she became pregnant that he had her hooked.
I applaud her for getting out of that male dominated system with her children. But she should know that these traditions have gone on for thousands of years and will continue! I know she hopes her story will keep other young girls looking at marrying a foreign husband to “look before you leap.” I hope that also.
I really enjoyed this book. I think I kept seeing the author as my child. I thought isn’t that just like the young to just jump without looking. I think she would have saved herself a lot of heartbreak by really reading up on Islamic laws and Muslim husbands and talking to wives of foreign husbands. Being so young she listened to these men. They all seem to have their own agenda . Her husband Sabar knew when she became pregnant that he had her hooked.
I applaud her for getting out of that male dominated system with her children. But she should know that these traditions have gone on for thousands of years and will continue! I know she hopes her story will keep other young girls looking at marrying a foreign husband to “look before you leap.” I hope that also.
September 15, 2020
This book was recommended by a friend who raved about it. I read this in about a day- I couldn't put it down. This memoir was as enjoyable as such a memoir can be- sometimes painful to read, but an amazing story, nonetheless. The author's writing is incredible. As a writer myself, I aspire to such eloquence. It may sound cliche, but I laughed during this book and I cried. I really felt like I was in Egypt. The author's words were raw, honest, and meaningful. I'd recommend anyone who is interested in trauma, personal growth, and overcoming against all odds to read this book.
February 12, 2022
from one bad decision to another
This could have been any impulsive, eager to please, not accepting responsibility for their own actions person of any faith.
Really grew tired of the woe is me, my mommy won’t help me, I need a mosque to save me from my bad decisions but they only gave me $100 theme in this book.
Yes her circumstances, that she created because she was too stubborn to listen to anyone, sucked but dang girl. Take some ownership on your role of your own destiny.
This could have been any impulsive, eager to please, not accepting responsibility for their own actions person of any faith.
Really grew tired of the woe is me, my mommy won’t help me, I need a mosque to save me from my bad decisions but they only gave me $100 theme in this book.
Yes her circumstances, that she created because she was too stubborn to listen to anyone, sucked but dang girl. Take some ownership on your role of your own destiny.
October 31, 2021
well written
Well written memoir that keeps you interested till the end while you are dumbfounded about all the mistakes and bad choices that can lead a promising young missionary wanting to help the world to a life of enslavement and poverty through religion and marriage she understood nothing about. At least it can be a deterrent for many women who are willing to marry into a religion that enslaves women.
Well written memoir that keeps you interested till the end while you are dumbfounded about all the mistakes and bad choices that can lead a promising young missionary wanting to help the world to a life of enslavement and poverty through religion and marriage she understood nothing about. At least it can be a deterrent for many women who are willing to marry into a religion that enslaves women.
November 28, 2021
Survival, Choices, Reserrection
This is a book of a woman's struggle with finding her own identity. Coming from a broken abusive home she co tinted the pattern of mental and physical so abuse. It is a book of survival , finding one's way and coming to terms with her life. It is not a fairy tale no idealistic riding of info the sunset but a womens honest portrayal of her life in the Muslim male dominated culture.
This is a book of a woman's struggle with finding her own identity. Coming from a broken abusive home she co tinted the pattern of mental and physical so abuse. It is a book of survival , finding one's way and coming to terms with her life. It is not a fairy tale no idealistic riding of info the sunset but a womens honest portrayal of her life in the Muslim male dominated culture.
April 16, 2020
This book made me so sad as it exposed the reality of spiritual abuse in certain cultures. The author does a good job of articulating at the beginning and end of the book that her memoir was not meant to paint a bad picture of either Egyptians or Muslims. I hope this book is a teaching tool for many who are unaware of the reality of spiritual abuse in religious communities.
April 29, 2021
Tragically inspiring
The author has lived a lifetime in a few short years. Wonderfully written and brutally honestly. It takes courage to write a book about your life especially hers, which some will be quick to judge. It's not easy to just walk away from this type of relationship and I am pretty confident that I would have crumbled. A story that needs to be read.
The author has lived a lifetime in a few short years. Wonderfully written and brutally honestly. It takes courage to write a book about your life especially hers, which some will be quick to judge. It's not easy to just walk away from this type of relationship and I am pretty confident that I would have crumbled. A story that needs to be read.
October 2, 2021
Interesting
Kaighla tells her story with revealing honesty. I think her story is about her journey to grow up and become a stable adult. She has to overcome her emotional childhood and learn to control her explosive nature. All her emotional baggage makes her the perfect victim. Sad story.
Kaighla tells her story with revealing honesty. I think her story is about her journey to grow up and become a stable adult. She has to overcome her emotional childhood and learn to control her explosive nature. All her emotional baggage makes her the perfect victim. Sad story.
March 28, 2020
Kaighla’s memoir recounts her experiences converting to Islam and enduring an abusive marriage, including several years in Egypt. Although she endured traumatic experiences, she has a resilient spirit and ultimately engages with a more authentic, loving relationship with Allah. Highly recommend.
December 8, 2020
This book is a testament to the strength and resiliency of the author. Heart wrenching as it is. The hopelessness of being a struggling single mother, with little support to speak of, kept me rapt the entire book. Thank you Um Dayo for writing this important book.
January 3, 2021
Honest
I appreciate the honestly Kaighla writes with. Not all of the book portrays her in a good light but as humans we all have our flaws. I really enjoyed the book and I think Kaighla is incredibly brave, not just for writing this book but for everything she endured.
I appreciate the honestly Kaighla writes with. Not all of the book portrays her in a good light but as humans we all have our flaws. I really enjoyed the book and I think Kaighla is incredibly brave, not just for writing this book but for everything she endured.
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February 23, 2021I am refraining from stars on this one. I read this one because it popped up as a suggestion on my Kindle Unlimited membership. I commend the author for ultimately breaking the cycle of abuse and power she was stuck in for so long. Kudos to her for sharing her story.
October 19, 2021
How to loose your Identity
I chose this rating because it was well written and educated me in realizing the trauma women a everywhere have to put
Up with! It only reinforced my feelings. One thing I can not fat hum is why ??! PtS must be very high.
I chose this rating because it was well written and educated me in realizing the trauma women a everywhere have to put
Up with! It only reinforced my feelings. One thing I can not fat hum is why ??! PtS must be very high.
May 21, 2022
Unbelievable Wreckless Stupidity
I very much dislike the Authors wreckless bad selfish behavior & for subjecting her Children to witness the abuse she says she suffered in Egypt.
I’m not sure I believe a lot of this books content.
I don’t recommend this book to anyone.
I very much dislike the Authors wreckless bad selfish behavior & for subjecting her Children to witness the abuse she says she suffered in Egypt.
I’m not sure I believe a lot of this books content.
I don’t recommend this book to anyone.
August 5, 2020
Heartbreaking but gives hope
Um Dayo explains very well the lack of support unfortunately in our Muslim community. The book is gripping and you definitely can’t put it down.
Um Dayo explains very well the lack of support unfortunately in our Muslim community. The book is gripping and you definitely can’t put it down.
August 11, 2020
Very honest and interesting
Appreciate seeing what life was like in this particular instance of being Muslim, her marriage and life in Egupt. Not a dull read.
Appreciate seeing what life was like in this particular instance of being Muslim, her marriage and life in Egupt. Not a dull read.
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