Dancing Around the Volcano: Freeing Our Erotic Lives: Decoding the Enigma of Gay Men and Sex

by Guy Kettelhack

In the tradition of Frank Browning's The Culture of Desire comes Guy Kettelhack's provocative, honest, unapologetic look at the sex lives of gay men. Dancing Around the Volcano is essential reading for the American gay community.

Gay men have long been told that regardless of their individual characters and desires, they should aspire to a monogamous model in their romantic and sexual relationships. Now, Guy Kettelhack wants to "tell the truth about the sex gay men are really having," offering a path to sexual liberation that embraces the conflicts and paradoxes of sex.

Using the voices of different men who tell of their experiences, Kettelhack questions the assumptions about the "pathology" of promiscuity, sexual compulsion, prostitution, sadomasochism, fetishes, and celibacy. These personal stories are often sexy, sometimes funny, almost always poignant in their honesty, and startling in their insights. We hear about everything from hustling to monogamous gay relationships, from the baths to the private bedroom, from fisting to French-kissing. What emerges is a sex-positive take on the whole gamut of gay male sexual behavior.

Celebrating the ingenuity with which gay men manage their sexual and aggressive drives and fantasies, Dancing Around the Volcano is a passionately pro-sex book with potentially healing--even revolutionary--implications for gay or straight, male or female.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT

196 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

Reviews

[Mon Graffito · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know why "academic papers" talk have to sound so pompous. The cat sits on the mat, it doesn't hurt to say it!
Apart from the passages which are meant as analysis and educated annunciations, the book is lovely written and full of moving stories told by the men interviewed.

[Toni Rodriguez · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

[Alastair Fyfe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kettelhack indulges his audience with a sex-positive, kink-positive literature analysts through his perspective of an identifying gay male. He ties in personal experience, third person narratives along with psychodynamic insights to illustrate hang-ups, irrational reasonings, and enjoyments of being sexual free. An interesting read for those that have some resistance about being sexual-open, indulging in sexual euphoria.

Topics which i found interesting included: the super ego regulation of monogamous sex; the masculine impulse of yearning to be sexual; overcoming prestigious sex ( this happens a lot in the LGBTQ community where everyone hasn't come to terms with their own biases, stigmatization(s), and ill-adjusted coping tactics, placing a hight demand on unrealistic sexual yearnings.); and sexual bonding( men are bio-socially programmed for sexual indulgences contrasted to social affairs).

[Michael Morris · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a sex positive book that explores gay male sexuality through the Freudian lens. Very interesting. A worthwhile read.