Behind the Veil: Exposing the Evil of Domestic Oppression and Providing Hope

by Warren G. Lamb

(Also available in Detrás del Exponiendo la Maldad de La Opresión Domestica y Proveyendo Esperanza) Domestic oppression…what is that? Did you know that domestic oppression is the seedbed for every other form of abuse that takes place within families and churches? And did you know that the quantity of people who suffer under domestic oppression within the church is staggering in its pervasiveness? In Behind the Veil, pastor and biblical counselor Warren Lamb, PhD, pulls back the veil on an evil that has been too long misunderstood and overlooked in Christian circles. Pastor Lamb draws on his thirty-plus years of specialized counseling experience with oppression and abuse survivors to train and equip the church—both leaders and laypersons—to effectively partner with Jesus Christ to “proclaim release to the captives…and to set free those who are oppressed.” (Luke 4:18b)

272 pages, Paperback

Published January 24, 2019

Reviews

[Brian Vandenburg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for leaders in the church. Laypersons would also do well to read this book. Sadly we in the church have allowed this kind of abuse to go on the church unchecked. I am thankful for this book.

[Lacey Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was required reading for a counseling class I am taking. Behind the Veil is an excellent in-depth look at domestic oppression and abuse- written specifically for Christians and churches. I found it to be helpful in defining, explaining and describing what this kind of oppression actually *is* and what the Bible says about it. Should be required reading for pastors, counselors and people who are burdened in stopping abuse.



(4.8 stars if I could be more specific! -.2 because of formatting/editing that can sometimes take away from the book’s clarity.)

[Joy Douglas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally! Finally I understand!
I wish this book was written years ago!
Several years ago I went to my church Pastor to tell him that my new husband of 6 weeks was having explosive, yelling rages, was throwing me into walls, and attempting to throw me down the stairs without any warning.
My pastor was a highly respected man with two doctorates, one in Divinity and the other in education.
My Pastor had known me for 10 years. He listened intently as I tearfully told him of the physical, mental and emotional abuse I was suffering at the hands of my “Christian” husband. The pastor also knew my husband well.
When I was done, my pastor asked me the following question. “What are you doing to set your husband off?” He went to on to say that “women know how to push their husbands buttons.” He then asked me “what buttons” was I pushing to MAKE my husband react like that to me.”
Shocked and cut to the core I mumbled the words “nothing, I’m not doing anything.” My pastor encouraged to me search my behaviors and pray for God to show me what I was doing to “make” my husband “angry.”
I never set foot inside that church again. I was utterly alone except for the faithfulness of God.
After suffering through a night of terror, pinned up against a wall unable to move, and seeing in my husband’s eyes the moment he decided to let me as well as our unborn child live; a subsequent 911 call and a failed Domestic Violence report because my husband countered my report saying I slapped him; 5 years of living married, 12 years of separation, with my abuser always moving to live close by me; and through the years taking us both to see 3 Christian Counselors and a Psychiatrist; I was still alone, except for Christ, who never left me.
It is important to note that the last Christian psychologist my husband and went to was “popular” Christian author after we’d already been separated for a few years.
After meeting with each of us individually, the psychologist offered to teach me, “how to live with an angry man.”
I turned him down.
You won’t find my particular story in this book. Yet my story, and the reactions of those in the church to whom I turned to for help is spread throughout the book.
Finally I understand how my abuser manipulated everyone around me to get them to react exactly the way they did, and how he attempted to “gaslight” me into thinking I was the problem.
I thank God for this book, and for the Biblical Counselor whom God redeemed and raised up out of the ashes to write it.

[Blake · Rating 4 out of 5]

Abuse is undoubtedly one of the hardest issues to deal with in counseling. The little unknown issue of abuse that is rarely talked about is Domestic Oppression. Interestingly, as I was reading this book by Warren G. Lamb, I was interacting with a number of people who are dealing with domestic oppression. The timing was incredible.

Lamb takes on this subject and demonstrates the urgency in which he writes to address it. Lamb rightly raises the red flag of warning, showing how common domestic oppression is while also showing how it rarely is addressed. The author first addresses the issue of words and how important words are. He uses this first chapter to define terms. In fact, as people have asked me about this book that I was reading, repeatedly they asked, "What exactly is domestic oppression?" It's a subject that is not well known, yet is far too often experienced. After defining terms, Lamb discusses the effects of domestic oppression and how God views it. Boldly, Lamb speaks to how domestic oppression is actually "hiding in plain sight" and as such, is often not noticed and/or ignored. Because of this, he challenges church leaders to be more aware of this issue and to deal with it appropriately.

Chapters 6-8 are given to a more in-depth look at the oppressor and their conduct. Lamb writes about the tactics and systems that oppressors use, provides a heart-breaking case study to demonstrate the heart of the oppressor and the signs of the oppressor. This was very helpful.

Lamb doesn't just describe domestic oppression but uses the last two chapters to speak to the issue of rescuing those who are oppressed and helping the oppressor.

While I'm guessing some might not agree with all of the author's conclusions, I believe the book provides insight about domestic oppression and a challenge to those in leadership to deal with it boldly and Biblically. A helpful book.

[Lisa Holmes · Rating 5 out of 5]

so important for Christian women today

Thank you for speaking out for the silent sufferers. This book is a must read for any Christian who has experienced this trauma or even for someone who isn’t married, but wants to know what God desires relationship to look like

[Heather Stroot · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm by all means not Christian. but this book hit deeper parts of me I didn't realize were there

[Travis Daggett · Rating 2 out of 5]

Raised a lot of questions. Some interesting insights.