Stay-at-Work Mom: Marriage, Kids and Other Disasters

by Liz Astrof

For fans of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and I Heart My Little A-Holes comes a candid and hilarious collection of essays on motherhood from the award-winning television comedy writer and producer of 2 Broke Girls and The King of Queens, who swears she loves her kids—when she’s not hiding from them.

Some women feel that motherhood is a calling and their purpose on earth. They somehow manage to make pregnancy look effortless, bring out the beauty in a screaming child, and keep the back seat of their cars as spotless as their kitchens.

And then there’s women like Liz Astrof.

In this blunt and side-splittingly funny book of essays, Liz Astrof embraces the realities of motherhood (and womanhood) that no one ever talks about—from needing to hide from your kids on a regular basis to the eternal quest for time alone, from the terror of failing to sometimes seriously wondering whether this whole parenting thing was a big mistake.

In vivid and relatable prose, she discusses her love for her career, how she’s managed to overcome some of her own childhood trauma, and the ups and downs of raising the little demons she calls her own.

Soul-baring, entertaining, and insightful, Stay at Work Mom is an abashedly honest look at parenting and relationships for moms who realize that motherhood doesn’t have to be your entire life—just an amazing part of it.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Memoir, Parenting, Audiobook, Biography, Book Club

336 pages, Paperback

First published July 30, 2019

About the author

Liz Astrof is an award-winning executive producer and one of the most successful sitcom writers in television today. She has worked on The King of Queens, Raising Hope, 2 Broke Girls, Whitney, Becker, and many more. She lives in California with her family.

(source: Amazon)

Reviews

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really surprised me. While there are hilarious moments - the trip to Great Wolf Lodge and the turtle story - there are also many stories of pain and the journey to work through it. I really empathized with Liz Astrof, especially when she wrote about her mother and the difficulties she faced growing up. This isn't so much a parenting book as it is a memoir, but I wholeheartedly recommend it. I got the advanced reader copy from Edelweiss, but I'll definitely check out the audio when it becomes available - I think it would be fabulous that way.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a witty, cringey and hilarious read! I found myself laughing out loud and devouring every word. From their trip to Great Wolf Lodge, to Tim Allen trying to kill her 😉🤣 Liz Astrof's stories were interesting and I'm so glad I won this in a goodreads giveaway (thanks guys!) 🧡 Even through the accounts of abuse from her crazy mother and her struggle with weight as a kid, I was enjoying my reading (it was humorous as well as upsetting) Every chapter was a new story from her life, which speaking of, I just want to say I love 2 broke girls and Last Man Standing 🤓🥰 Overall it was a great read!

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book on Goodreads. It was supposed to be funny but I didn't find it funny at all. The author had a terrible childhood and it doesn't sound like any of her life has been anything but a mess. Her chapters on different things in her life didn't really sound like she thought they were funny either. Some of the stories could've been funny if they didn't have such terrible things behind them.

[Colleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first chapter of Liz Astrof’s memoir “Don’t Wait Up” is hilarious, as promised. Like, laugh out loud funny in places. I have a great sense of humour, but I very rarely laugh out loud when reading a book or watching TV. It takes a LOT to make me laugh out loud. Astrof did. I was sitting in a parking lot, waiting to pick up my daughter. I had the windows down, book in my lap, and I hit a paragraph that made me crack up loud enough that I glanced around to make sure no one was watching.

Things went a little wonky after the first chapter. Astrof goes on to describe her childhood, her abusive mother... these were not fun memories. I could see that she was trying to inject humour, but it’s hard to laugh at abuse. There are some funny moments, but there are also plenty of horrible ones. The last couple of chapters rebound with more truly funny memories, but...

Having said all that, the book is entertaining despite the bad memories and I had no doubts that I’d keep reading it. The whole gist of the book is to show how Astrof has embraced motherhood and her career (not necessarily in that order!), and that motherhood doesn’t have to be your whole life in order for you to be a good mom. All well and good, but I can’t help but wonder how her kids will feel about it when they’re a little older. Hopefully they’re as resilient as she is.

[Heather Mashnouk brandon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don't get this book if you are afraid to giggle uncontrollably or let loose with a few swears once you look up the price of a Cartier Love Bracelet.

Don't Wait Up by Liz Astrof is a fun, crazy, surprising, and quite real look into the life of a successful writer of comedy TV shows. Liz was the Executive Producer of Two Broke Girls and is a self proclaimed "Stay at Work Mom." This book showcases her life not only as a professional woman but that of a mom who is worried about screwing up her kids, her life, and everything else. Astrof is incredibly easy to relate to and makes even the most difficult truths about her childhood and struggles with grace and humor.

Each chapter is its own story although they all manage to weave together to paint the picture she finishes in the final pages. She is self deprecating but honest about her scars and insecurities, which would help any mom see a little bit of herself written here. There were some shocking and sad moments as well as some laugh out loud ones.

Who will enjoy this: Moms with a snarky sense of humor, moms who worry about everything and need to see that there are others like them, people that like a good laugh, people that want a quick but engaging read.

Who will not: There are some triggers here related to Astrof's childhood with an absent and abusive mother and some readers might have difficulty with it. Sanctimoms and perfect moms. People that don't care for profanity (it isn't a large portion of the text, but it is there). People that don't like reading someone's thoughts that might ramble and go on some tangents- If you like a sentence to go from A to B immediately, this might be a tough read for you. The Author's brain doesn't work that way and neither does her story- But the story about Tim Allen trying to kill her would not be the same without it.

My only real complaint seems to be an editing one that I imagine will be fixed from the advanced copy I read. When discussing an on and off relationship with an ex, the name of said ex changed from "Andy" to "Rick" and back again which was obviously confusing.

If you need a laugh pick this one up.

Thank you NetGalley for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Alyssa Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received a free copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.*

I can’t say enough good things about this book–it is incredible. I laughed and cried and thoroughly enjoyed reading Astrof’s memoir. She details her journey through working in comedy and becoming a TV producer, focusing on her childhood and how that has affected her view of having and raising kids.

I don’t have kids myself, but I found so much in Astrof’s story to relate to–the Great Wolf Lodge story was hilarious (it is a horrendous place) and I am so glad to not be the only one to be horrified by it. Mixed in with her humor, however, are heart-breaking stories about her rough childhood and the trauma she experienced, and how afraid she is of passing that down to her own children. This book is filled with heartfelt, genuine stories that so many readers can connect to.

Like all well-crafted memoirs, each chapter is its own story, but they work together to show a bigger picture of Astrof’s life and her thoughts about life. I enjoyed this book so much and definitely recommend it if you’re a fan of memoirs. I’m excited to see how the audio version will turn out, because I think it’ll be stellar.

Also posted on Purple People Readers.

[Theresa Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thank you to Goodreads for the giveaway copy of this book. I was not familiar at all with this writer or any of her shows; thus, I was not prepared for the vulgarity or attempts at humor. She came across as spoiled, a woman willing to do anything to avoid interacting with her children. She clearly didn't need to work for the money and enjoyed the accolades her work brings. That's fine to use your talents in other ways besides your family, but this went beyond that. Although it's to be expected that there are sacrificial aspects to mothering, this book focused more on her needs and her complaining. I couldn't finish the book and cannot recommend it.

[Kelli · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn’t bring myself to finish this audiobook. I am genuinely alarmed at the quantum of stories of women from abused backgrounds who are pushed to accept substandard working conditions to make it in life. Acknowledgment for the fact that this is a real issue that needs serious attention, but the matter of fact way in which this one was narrated wasn’t emotive enough to make me want to push through another one of these.

[Kym · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what I was expecting. I didn't realize the author was a writer for TV shows, so her relatability took a dive for me. I don't judge her parenting or her crappy childhood. Maybe it was therapeutic for her to confess, maybe she thought some things funny. However, her anectdotes just led me to conclude some of the other people in her life sure put up with a lot.

[Anna Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Won this book thru Goodreads and been way behind on reading to read and review, this book made me laugh and understand what Liz has been thru. I was a working mom and could relate to many of the things written.

[Melissa Kayden · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars - Funny, relatable and clever. Some touching moments and some laugh out loud moments.

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny! Painfully funny at times, always honest and also painfully so at times!

[Rhonda Lomazow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny real, honest.A woman who is not afraid to share the reality of being a parent.So much I related to realyenjoyed.

[Kris Ogara · Rating 4 out of 5]

4+ stars. This was laugh out loud- Liz- I want to be your friend. You make me feel normal😀

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was entertained but not much more to it than that.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Liz Astrof is a successful TV comedy writer/producer who had a pretty awful childhood. She's also a rather mediocre mother....or that's how it seems on the surface. She loves her kids. She just also loves work and her alone time. And if she were a dad and not a mom, we would be singing her praises but because she's a mom we tend to judge more harshly. This book is refreshingly honest and open. She's not trying to show you she's a perfect mom. She's honest about flaws and mistakes she's made. But looking at where she's come from, she's doing an amazing job. Her parents never showed her what love is and throughout the entire book, you can tell she loves her children and she's trying. There is a reason why the author has a successful career. She's funny. You will find yourself laughing out loud, even when you think maybe you shouldn't be.
So, if you're a mom or you know a mom and you have thoughts on what a good mother should look like, you should read this. If you're feeling alone in motherhood, you should read this. If kids annoy you, you should still read this.

[Victoria B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Marketed as a "side-splittingly funny book of essays" but basically a memoir, Liz Astorf's book is a mixture of sarcasm, trauma, dysfunction, awkwardness, and sadness. While some of it was relatable (like her description of a 5 year old after 9:15pm), there were parts that made me question why she wanted children (she said certain things like she was trying to be funny but it came across a little detached). I think it's a defense mechanism to hide how scared she is of repeating the abusive patterns from her own childhood.

Each chapter was basically about herself, her traumas, and her internalized pain that occasionally exerts itself in her self-destructive attitude and behavior. Sometimes a chapter ended with how she could apply lessons she learned toward her child ("No More Monsters" for example) or how she was better than her parents (Happy New Year). The chapters bounced all over the place; don't expect any kind of chronological thread.

I'll be honest - at first, she came across as selfish, petty, and kind of mean, but the deeper you tread into the book, the more you can see what cruelty fueled it. But I definitely wouldn't classify this as humor...I spent most of the book cringing at the way she is/was treated or how she treated others. I'm sure the material would be much funnier in audio or as a stand up routine though, since her delivery might make a difference.

P129-234 no mention of kids.

P. 223, Out-of-left-field: "Julie and I are no longer friends, for reasons that are clear to her." What?? She wasn't even talking about Julie. Like, for the whole chapter! So I don't know what that's about or where it came from.

Favorite quote:
Describing her 5 year old "...around nine-fifteen, Phoebe starts to turn sort of...mean. Like a bad drunk after two drinks, she becomes abusive, starts making false accusations, and it gets ugly."

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Goodreads Giveaway in exchange for my honest review.

[Celeste · Rating 4 out of 5]

When editors acquire fiction, they usually require the author to have completed the entire manuscript. When they acquire non-fiction, they buy based on a chapter or three and the author's reputation and marketability. Don't Wait Up is non-fiction. It's a memoir by Liz Astrof, a fabulously successful television writer and producer who has worked on Two Broke Girls, the King of Queens, and a Tim Allen show I can't remember the name of and wasn't sure which it was when I Googled. I suspect her book was bought on the basis of the first full chapter, which is so funny I almost had to pull off the road because I was laughing so hard while listening to the audiobook. After that, things went straight downhill.

She endured a truly crappy childhood, with nothing funny about it. She and her brother protected each other from their abusive mother until she left when Liz was about six. Liz was happy to see her go. After that, she got "good, kind, clean, beautiful Kathy" as a stepmother. Kathy and her dad weren't abusive, but they weren't exactly loving either. Astrof grew up, endured her 20s, and finally, with the support of her brother who had already become a wildly successful TV writer, moved to Los Angeles to become one too.

Things improved in Astrof's life, and the book becomes funny again, but it never becomes as hilarious as it is in the first chapter. She has a tendency to overuse certain lines in an effort at humor: regarding the Cartier Love Bracelet she desperately wants for her 40th birthday: "In yellow gold. Not rose gold. Not platinum." It's a tribute to how good that first chapter was that I made it through the middle chapters to see if there would be something great at the end. It's good, it's memorable, it's fun, it's a quality audiobook, but she's no Tina Fey or Trevor Noah (who also endured a miserable childhood, but his was funnier).

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure how this book ended up on my to-read shelf. It was a good read, parts of it fun, parts of it heavy. The book is a memoir that covers the author's rough childhood and then shows how she's used that upbringing into her parenting today. It also covers some of her time as a sitcom writer on various shows. You see some behind the scenes on the shows, but really you're witnessing what she has to put up with regularly in order to make a living doing something she loves and is good at.

I had a hard time jumping between the chapters on rough childhood, fat camp, monsters at work, excursions to the Great Wolf Lodge, and more. The topics are so disparate, and the link to help the reader understand how they relate was missing. Maybe they're not supposed to relate? But it seems like they're all supposed to help bring forward the theme of why Liz is the Stay-at-Work Mom she is, and that was lacking in some of the chapters. There are some super funny chapters that really exhibit how Liz has made it as a comedy writer. And then there are some super heavy chapters that make you wonder how she's able to put one foot in front of the other.

I must say, though, I am astonished that Liz keeps a cordial enough relationship with her dad and stepmom to have them listed as thank-you's in the book. She is a better person than I. I'm not sure I have that level of forgiving and moving on that she clearly has. I'm glad there are people in the world like her that can share stories and remind us to forgive.

[Kristin Lunz Trujillo · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was an entertaining read, as I'd expect from a comedy tv writer. I see quite a bit of her backstory in Max of 2 Broke Girls.

But this couldn't overcome how irritated I was with the author. She has a lot of psychological issues that she takes out on others and that make her incredibly fragile. She's passive aggressive, expects family and friends to read her mind, lies, and seems to take her husband for granted. She'll throw people under the bus and lash out at them. She's the type who claims to not want anything for her birthday, then gets angry not only if nobody gets her anything, but also if it's not the right thing. She's shitty to friends who do nothing but be kind to her, and then has no trouble lying to their face about being two-faced. She has serious jealousy issues. She also starts the book off by describing how much of a "struggle" it is to be with her kids for a whole weekend, which I find entitled, pathetic, and an actual sign of a bad parent.

Like yeah, I get that she had a rough childhood, but c'mon, that can't be a justification for acting shitty. And being funny about it doesn't make it ok.

Finally, this book is marketed as being about motherhood. But relatively few stories were about motherhood, and most were about the author herself.

Thank you to Goodreads giveaways and the publishers for a free ARC of the book.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don't Wait Up is a collection of humorous essays about the author's parenting skills when she's not even sure she can parent. In the beginning, the author discusses the whole stigma of being a "stay-at-work" mom. There is one scene where she's at a sporting event with her kids, wearing a "2 Broke Girls" hat. Another mom came over and asked the author if her husband worked on the show, assuming it could never be her, the mom.

She says, “You don't even recognize yourself under those maternity sweatpants. You fantasize about getting in your minivan, running away from it all, getting involved in a Bridges of Madison County type romance, and never coming home again. There is no way any adult enjoys spending time with a toddler, even if it’s brilliant and hilarious. And frankly, if you really do enjoy them that much, there is something wrong with you.”

Later, we realize all the author's fear and questioning about her own parenting comes from her relationship with her mother, which she described in great detail. That part was actually sad and gave a great perspective into her life. So even though this book is funny, it's not just a comedy. The author shows us where all the humor and pain comes from, which I think is the best part.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/liz...

[Star · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book through a Goodreads GiveAway as it was already on my "to read" shelf.

This collection of essays will make you laugh, cry, and mouth questionable words in disbelief. They resonate with me even though my job and lifestyle is far removed from Astrof's, but because she is baring her truth with every word. Some things I do identify with: being a mom and worrying about everything, childhood trauma, and just the demands of being a human being in the world.

It is worth a read and I plan to pass this copy to my adult daughter to see if she will read between the lines of the message and bond I am sharing with her as I do.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this would be mostly lighthearted working mom anecdotes, but there were some pretty hardcore chapters about Liz’s childhood and absentee and/or highly emotionally abusive parents. I didn’t realize that the author was the executive producer of Two Broke Girls, which I thought had some pretty funny one liners.

My favorite chapters were the ones about the weekend at Great Wolf Lodge and especially the chapter titled, “Tim Allen tried to kill me” describing a writer’s weekend retreat at actor Tim Allen’s house for writers of that one show he did a couple decades after Home Improvement, Last Man Standing. I loved Liz’s epiphany that she had not become her mom, she was Phoebe’s mom.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some funny stories, some very sad and horrific particularly the ones from her childhood. Entertaining, for sure.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poignant and achingly funny, these essays are a tonic for overwhelmed mothers looking for an authentic voice in the mothering madness. Yes, the mommy wars that we all watched playing out in the media have never really gone away, and there is still some distrust, skepticism and hand-wringing on both sides of the first-world debate about whether it's a good idea for a woman to hold a job while raising young children.

In Astrof's case, her abusive mother only provided an example of what not to do. Mothering without any blueprint for raising confident, well-adjusted kids in a stable, loving household was never going to be easy, and she wisely chose a partner who approaches parenting from a place of balance and equanimity.

Childhood trauma left her with a coping mechanism of finding humor in chaos, leading to a career as a writer and producer of television sitcoms. Her tales of the tv writer's room/sausage factory are by turns horrifying and hilarious. Most of us can't imagine being invited to the private home of a famous actor, but she describes the stress of that experience in a way that makes you glad you'll never need to do that. She's honest about their household circumstances, acknowledging the privilege and perks of a comfortable income (a nanny, family vacations, retail therapy) while remembering her more humble origins and trying to repel a sense of entitlement from her kids' worldview. Her writing voice is delightful, I absolutely enjoyed this unique collection of essays, and look forward to reading more from the author.

Thank you to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for allowing me to read this book at no charge in exchange for my honest review.

[Rieta · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me two days to review this book and it disappeared??? I loved loved loved it. I feel like Liz and I are emotionally related. Speaking of which I saw a review that said Liz is a terrible mother making excuses. Liz, ignore that! Only truly immature people who haven't walked in your shoes feel they can judge you! Bull! I've been married for 38 years this month and my husband says to me "You had 17 years of hell and 38 great years, how can those 17 still impact you?" BECAUSE they're the formative years. People with toxic mothers are a sisterhood the healthier set just can't get. Steve Wynn, a Las Vegas casino owner had a 6 million dollar picture hanging over his desk. One day he inadvertently elbowed and ripped it. It was repaired. Everyone seeing the picture speaks of it's beauty except him. He sees the repair. His eye goes there repeatedly. I think he might have even sold it because for him it was ruined. Wounded people do that. Others see their (your) beauty but we see our scars. Brene Brown did a talk on vulnerability and bravery. You're rediculously brave. First chapter I almost wet my pants ;o) Fan for life.

[Melis H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Preface: Do not be deceived! This is not a book about being a working mom. It’s about being a mom. And how we try to do better for our kids by fixing our parents mistakes and by doing that making our own mistakes! Read this book!!
I loved this book so much! And I would love for everyone to read this book and love it as much as I did. It made me feel like talking with a fellow mom, a new best friend. I really do feel like I have a new friend and I only wish there were more chapters left. She was captivating and funny and feel good. This book was fantastic! Liz is fantastic! Wow...just wow! She’s definitely my new best friend! This was a great read for December because she took me away from the crazy stress and made me laugh and I just enjoyed it so much. Liz, I’m following you! Whatever you are writing for, I’m there! Whatever show or book or comedian, I’m there. But also please write more books!

[Mayar Mahdy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was amazing. I'm not brave enough to venture into a book with 15 ratings from an author I never heard of. We don't do that here.
But I did. I read a book with 15 ratings from an author I don't know just like a brave reader would. And boy was it worth it.

Liz Astrof turned out to be a TV writer for some cool shows including 2 Broke Girls and Raising Hope. I always thought TV writers don't get enough credit and this proves it. Anyway, I got to read a messed up autobiography by a really funny woman.

I felt awful reading the parts about her mom and the fat camp. I wanted to give her a big hug and tell her she's doing great, sweetie like I imagine my virtual support system doing when I'm down. (It doesn't)

This was great to read, I'm happy Liz got to do so much in her life and -sort of- got through all her past.

[Francis M. Prensa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book brought me so many laughs in these two days it took for me to read it. Now that it was a short read but more that it’s hard to put down once you started because you just want to keep laughing. I feel like it’s more of a memoir if anything, each and every single story had me bawling straight laughter, and I feel so sad too because this is her life, but it’s so funny and this is why she’s this award winning comedy writer. The story that’s my favorite will be the Guilt Trip, and since it’s the first story I know you guys will really enjoy, and also No more Monsters those two are my top. She talks about her mother and her family outside of her kids and it’s great that she opens up about all that, makes me feel like I know her, like I can call her and have her come over and chill, haha.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the cover and sub-title and introduction, I was expecting a slightly funny discussion of being a working parent. In fact, this was actually a heart-rending look at the author's childhood, with enough humor sprinkled in to make it bearable. Only a few of the stories (including the first and last) feature Astrof as a parent; most recount much earlier events. Astrof is an excellent writer and each chapter can stand alone as an interesting story of her life. At times it was rather terrifying thinking about how much we as parents affect our children. But then it was also oddly reassuring that even with the terrible things she carries from her childhood, Astrof managed to grow up, become a functional adult, and be a reasonably good parent.