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Reckless Steps Toward Sanity: A Memoir
At sixteen Judith Sara Gelt finally rebels after spending years watching her warm, Jewish home in Denver disintegrate. It's 1968 and bipolar disorder has been ravaging her mother and has sent her father, a powerful attorney, into a spiteful tailspin. To escape Gelt makes one perilous choice after another, and these decisions carry her, unprepared and alone, into a world that is sometimes cruel and often dangerous. After returning to Denver she works to understand her parents and her past, and she is surprised to discover her own strengths.
Throughout her memoir Gelt reflects upon how risk taking has shaped her relationships with and her attitudes toward men and sex, her daughter, Judaism, and her own eventual diagnosis of major depressive disorder.
Throughout her memoir Gelt reflects upon how risk taking has shaped her relationships with and her attitudes toward men and sex, her daughter, Judaism, and her own eventual diagnosis of major depressive disorder.
242 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 6, 2019
269 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
March 17, 2021
The first word that comes to mind about “Reckless Steps Toward Sanity” and Judith Gelt, is BRAVE. Gelt told her story as if we were all best friends and confidantes, unafraid (or maybe afraid, but willing anyway) to tell the very personal stories and secrets that one tends to hide. I don’t know if I could be so brave.
The book brought back some painful memories from my childhood and adolescence, and at times I had to stop and cry, realizing that Gelt and I had felt similar pain, though the specific situations may have been different.
I admire her honesty and the work she has obviously done to try and understand her life, her parents, her brother, etc., and the veil of mental illness that enveloped it all.
A great memoir, worth the time.
The book brought back some painful memories from my childhood and adolescence, and at times I had to stop and cry, realizing that Gelt and I had felt similar pain, though the specific situations may have been different.
I admire her honesty and the work she has obviously done to try and understand her life, her parents, her brother, etc., and the veil of mental illness that enveloped it all.
A great memoir, worth the time.
March 20, 2021
I'm continually impressed by memoirists who risk so much to share about their pasts. But it's in the sharing of difficult truths that some of us can be inspired to rise above and overcome.
I found Gelt's memoir to be very readable and somewhat relatable as my mom also had bipolar disorder. Gelt has an incredible gift of putting you right there with her during all of the awkward, uncomfortable moments (like mandatory conversations with her dad while he sits on the john).
Toward the last half of the book, she takes a hard look at how mental illness has affected her and many family members (and continues to affect all of them). I'm still a bit confused about her relationship with her brother and his change in life direction. I would have liked to have learned more about that.
I found Gelt's memoir to be very readable and somewhat relatable as my mom also had bipolar disorder. Gelt has an incredible gift of putting you right there with her during all of the awkward, uncomfortable moments (like mandatory conversations with her dad while he sits on the john).
Toward the last half of the book, she takes a hard look at how mental illness has affected her and many family members (and continues to affect all of them). I'm still a bit confused about her relationship with her brother and his change in life direction. I would have liked to have learned more about that.
June 1, 2019
With a mother incapacitated by bipolar disorder; a remote, controlling, inappropriately-behaving father; and inaccessible older siblings, Judith Sara Gelt must find her own way in the world. It’s no wonder she takes wrong turns and winds up in some dark and dangerous places.
In this honest, unflinching memoir, Gelt takes readers right into those places to witness at close range the choices she comes to regret—and to understand why there are some she never will.
Though often disturbing, this girl-to-woman’s story is, in the end, inspiring. Readers will find hope in Gelt’s ability to emerge from her painful past whole and capable of great tenderness.
Full disclosure: I met the author at a writers’ conference in 2013, when this memoir was still in early stages. I found Gelt’s story riveting, and I followed its progress through rewrite after rewrite. Even if I didn’t know first-hand how much thought, effort, and heart Gelt invested in this book I would know after reading it. Her attention to language, pacing, detail, and other crucial elements of craft is apparent throughout this memorable read.
In this honest, unflinching memoir, Gelt takes readers right into those places to witness at close range the choices she comes to regret—and to understand why there are some she never will.
Though often disturbing, this girl-to-woman’s story is, in the end, inspiring. Readers will find hope in Gelt’s ability to emerge from her painful past whole and capable of great tenderness.
Full disclosure: I met the author at a writers’ conference in 2013, when this memoir was still in early stages. I found Gelt’s story riveting, and I followed its progress through rewrite after rewrite. Even if I didn’t know first-hand how much thought, effort, and heart Gelt invested in this book I would know after reading it. Her attention to language, pacing, detail, and other crucial elements of craft is apparent throughout this memorable read.
June 30, 2019
Recognizing that a memoir is a series of recollections, nevertheless, I think that authors have an obligation to double check points of fact. There were several glaring areas where the recollection and fact had a head-on collision, and the facts lost out. During the period when Ms. Gelt attended Metropolitan State College there were no dormitories -- so the memories of her classmates being absorbed by the transition to dorm life and new roommates could not have happened as remembered. I was also distracted by the failure of UNMP (University of New Mexico Press) editors to catch glaring misspellings.
The introduction states that some character's names have been changed, and that some characters have been combined. This said, I found referring to her second husband as "Nick So-and-so," disconcerting. If she wanted to protect him, make up a last name -- as she said she would in the intro.
I find this type of memoir difficult. I cannot tell if it is written at the direction of a "shrink," or in order to avoid paying to go see one. In either case, I cannot recommend this book.
The introduction states that some character's names have been changed, and that some characters have been combined. This said, I found referring to her second husband as "Nick So-and-so," disconcerting. If she wanted to protect him, make up a last name -- as she said she would in the intro.
I find this type of memoir difficult. I cannot tell if it is written at the direction of a "shrink," or in order to avoid paying to go see one. In either case, I cannot recommend this book.
April 10, 2020
Judith’s book was an incredible read! Her story is a mix of fun times, scary moments, poignant pauses, and incredible occasions, enough to keep anyone turning pages until that sadness of, “Oh, I’ve finished the book” hits. There were moments of profound language that had me gasping—I just had to close it for a bit to recover before continuing. The pacing was interesting: I feel like I spent hours reading through 15 years of her life in the beginning of the book; and then just minutes reading through a few decades of her later years. Tara Westover could stand some ‘education’ via Judith on how to write those moments where you step out of the past, write a quick reflection before jumping back into the story. She did these well and they really added to the memoir. Congrats, Judith, on a job well done, and I’m thrilled to have read your work!! ❤️
February 26, 2025
When I travel through neighborhoods at night, I become a voyeur, desperate to
see into other homes through the big picture window with the curtains left open, lit up
from the inside. I suppose that is why I like the genre of memoir. In the few seconds I
have as I pass by, I try to capture as much as possible. Is the TV on? Who lives inside
those four walls? How old are they? What do they do? Does love, or fear, roam the living
room? What I don’t see with my eyes, I make up, conjuring the story of the family that
lives there. In Judith Gelt’s memoir, she has pulled back the curtains and left the lights on, allowing readers a clear unobscured view of her family.
Judith’s memoir is a life-long coming-of-age story about a girl on the cusp of
womanhood with a family held hostage by the mother’s crippling depression that
confines her to bed, alternated with manic episodes of frenzied housework and
mothering. The mental illness of the mother, the father’s unbridled resentment and anger,
and the daughter’s guilt and shame, has them all by the throat, choking out any love or
security Judith remembers as a young girl. All of this prevents her mother or father from
being present for Judith, leaving her to fend for herself in a world that is often unkind and
treacherous, but also gracious and forgiving sometimes.
I found myself rooting for the mother to get out of bed and just show up, cursing the father
and his wicked control and manipulation, and often grimaced when Judith made
decisions I knew would have an impact she couldn’t see. At times, I wished for more
depth into Judith’s psyche and the insight she gained about her own experiences and
choices. I love a powerful sentence that stops you in your reading tracks with an original
and unique metaphor and this memoir is full of them, some shining brighter than others.
Her brilliant line, “In dawn’s total silence, pain parked on my bones like a semi, pinned
my torso flat,” took my breath away.
At the end of it all, Judith questions whether or not any of it really
mattered. Despite whatever illness, shame, guilt or resentment we carry in this world, we
are all the same when it comes to death and dying, a sober reminder of the bane of the
human existence—all must live, all must die. When her mother’s advanced age no longer
requires a need to worry about manic or depressive episodes, or lithium to control them,
Judith is surprised, shocked even, at the relief this brings. The peace she was deprived of
in this life would be found in death, not only for her mother but for Judith as well.
If you’re like me and enjoy looking in the windows of other families, this book is
for you. Judith not only pulls back the curtains, she invites you in, offers up a cup of tea
and a comfortable seat. There’s no better way to get to know a family and what goes on
inside their four walls than to just spend time with them—on the couch, in the kitchen, at
the dinner table. In Reckless Steps Toward Sanity, Judith gives you all the time you need.
see into other homes through the big picture window with the curtains left open, lit up
from the inside. I suppose that is why I like the genre of memoir. In the few seconds I
have as I pass by, I try to capture as much as possible. Is the TV on? Who lives inside
those four walls? How old are they? What do they do? Does love, or fear, roam the living
room? What I don’t see with my eyes, I make up, conjuring the story of the family that
lives there. In Judith Gelt’s memoir, she has pulled back the curtains and left the lights on, allowing readers a clear unobscured view of her family.
Judith’s memoir is a life-long coming-of-age story about a girl on the cusp of
womanhood with a family held hostage by the mother’s crippling depression that
confines her to bed, alternated with manic episodes of frenzied housework and
mothering. The mental illness of the mother, the father’s unbridled resentment and anger,
and the daughter’s guilt and shame, has them all by the throat, choking out any love or
security Judith remembers as a young girl. All of this prevents her mother or father from
being present for Judith, leaving her to fend for herself in a world that is often unkind and
treacherous, but also gracious and forgiving sometimes.
I found myself rooting for the mother to get out of bed and just show up, cursing the father
and his wicked control and manipulation, and often grimaced when Judith made
decisions I knew would have an impact she couldn’t see. At times, I wished for more
depth into Judith’s psyche and the insight she gained about her own experiences and
choices. I love a powerful sentence that stops you in your reading tracks with an original
and unique metaphor and this memoir is full of them, some shining brighter than others.
Her brilliant line, “In dawn’s total silence, pain parked on my bones like a semi, pinned
my torso flat,” took my breath away.
At the end of it all, Judith questions whether or not any of it really
mattered. Despite whatever illness, shame, guilt or resentment we carry in this world, we
are all the same when it comes to death and dying, a sober reminder of the bane of the
human existence—all must live, all must die. When her mother’s advanced age no longer
requires a need to worry about manic or depressive episodes, or lithium to control them,
Judith is surprised, shocked even, at the relief this brings. The peace she was deprived of
in this life would be found in death, not only for her mother but for Judith as well.
If you’re like me and enjoy looking in the windows of other families, this book is
for you. Judith not only pulls back the curtains, she invites you in, offers up a cup of tea
and a comfortable seat. There’s no better way to get to know a family and what goes on
inside their four walls than to just spend time with them—on the couch, in the kitchen, at
the dinner table. In Reckless Steps Toward Sanity, Judith gives you all the time you need.
July 2, 2020
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” — e. e. cummings
Ours is an era when our well-manicured personas are presented to the world under the ironic guise of authenticity. Even the people we know in real life carefully edit the image we have of them. And so, when someone tells you who she really is and how she came to be that person, it’s inspiring and remarkable. In her memoir, Gelt recounts in vivid and emotional language the steps she had to invent to extricate herself from a troubled household when she was still a teen. Her battles ranged from the effort to recover from a violent sexual assault at the hands of a stranger to the near-impossible task of confronting her domineering father while caring for her mother who lived entrapped within bipolar disorder. Gelt’s descriptions of the rich beauty of her mother’s Jewish traditions stand in bright contrast to the grip of her father’s oppressive rule.
As the author reveals her growth into adulthood and maturity, she shows what it is to grapple with rebellion and resentment and love and duty, while working to find the way forward toward careers, complicated marriages, and motherhood; to find self-reliance and self-understanding, to see her own mother in herself and to bring the strength of that relationship into the present day with her own child. Some of her struggles remind me of my own, and I feel less alone for having seen how she triumphed. Her memoir shows resiliency and bravery—and it’s such an inspiration.
Ours is an era when our well-manicured personas are presented to the world under the ironic guise of authenticity. Even the people we know in real life carefully edit the image we have of them. And so, when someone tells you who she really is and how she came to be that person, it’s inspiring and remarkable. In her memoir, Gelt recounts in vivid and emotional language the steps she had to invent to extricate herself from a troubled household when she was still a teen. Her battles ranged from the effort to recover from a violent sexual assault at the hands of a stranger to the near-impossible task of confronting her domineering father while caring for her mother who lived entrapped within bipolar disorder. Gelt’s descriptions of the rich beauty of her mother’s Jewish traditions stand in bright contrast to the grip of her father’s oppressive rule.
As the author reveals her growth into adulthood and maturity, she shows what it is to grapple with rebellion and resentment and love and duty, while working to find the way forward toward careers, complicated marriages, and motherhood; to find self-reliance and self-understanding, to see her own mother in herself and to bring the strength of that relationship into the present day with her own child. Some of her struggles remind me of my own, and I feel less alone for having seen how she triumphed. Her memoir shows resiliency and bravery—and it’s such an inspiration.
August 11, 2020
Review of Reckless Steps Toward Sanity, by Judith Sara Gelt
This work has power. It will make you flinch with the closeness of its truth, weep in its emotional pain, expand in its resurgent hope, and step out in dust blown streets of high noon, to account for your own humanity in the speed and aim of its deployment. The book is much larger than its 270 pages, with questions, situations, circumstances, presenting in a kaleidoscope of life, with an honesty and frankness, a fairness that keeps readers from easy answers or judgmental conclusion, offering instead an acceptance of self and an understanding acceptance of others.
The book is written in concise, clear, beautiful language. I found myself underlining many sentences crisply delivering complex ideas with ingenious, inventive analogies. Everyone will relate to the message, rich or poor, varying races or nationalities, male or female, because the book relates to life, not to race or nationality, to wealth or poverty. Judith Sara Gelt’s life is different from any other life; her personality is hers alone. But my response and life seemed so identifiable, so similar despite being completely different. I am sure different sexes, races, and nationalities will find her writing as visceral, as personal, as beautiful, as I did.
Read 8/6/20 - 8/8/20
This work has power. It will make you flinch with the closeness of its truth, weep in its emotional pain, expand in its resurgent hope, and step out in dust blown streets of high noon, to account for your own humanity in the speed and aim of its deployment. The book is much larger than its 270 pages, with questions, situations, circumstances, presenting in a kaleidoscope of life, with an honesty and frankness, a fairness that keeps readers from easy answers or judgmental conclusion, offering instead an acceptance of self and an understanding acceptance of others.
The book is written in concise, clear, beautiful language. I found myself underlining many sentences crisply delivering complex ideas with ingenious, inventive analogies. Everyone will relate to the message, rich or poor, varying races or nationalities, male or female, because the book relates to life, not to race or nationality, to wealth or poverty. Judith Sara Gelt’s life is different from any other life; her personality is hers alone. But my response and life seemed so identifiable, so similar despite being completely different. I am sure different sexes, races, and nationalities will find her writing as visceral, as personal, as beautiful, as I did.
Read 8/6/20 - 8/8/20
March 25, 2021
There is beauty in the broken and the patched together because that is where a story is nestled. It takes a gifted writer to extract that beauty and put it on the page for the reader. Judith Gelt delivers the beauty in the broken in her memoir, Reckless Steps Toward Sanity. Often raw and heart wrenching, Ms. Gelt tells story of her life with language that captures the reader and holds her through moments of confusion and clarity, sadness and joy, and always, especially if you are a woman, anger. I've been mostly listening to stories during these COVID months. Books are started and cast aside as I can't focus on them. But, not with Gelt's memoir. It held me from the moment I started reading.
As writing teachers we tell our young writers to relate your story to the reader. Through writing that snares the reader, accomplished writers focus on story that moves beyond relating to the reader and elevates the experience of reading. This is what I found in Ms. Gelt's memoir which was absolutely illuminating in its narrative of her life.
As writing teachers we tell our young writers to relate your story to the reader. Through writing that snares the reader, accomplished writers focus on story that moves beyond relating to the reader and elevates the experience of reading. This is what I found in Ms. Gelt's memoir which was absolutely illuminating in its narrative of her life.
June 16, 2021
Heart wrenching
I just finished this book and it brought about a spectrum of emotions. I even cried which is a feat unto itself. I felt parts of this book were just too painful to read, but I persevered and I am glad I did. I hope this book brought some comfort to the author and her family and to others who may also have a family member with a mental disorder. She focuses on her mom’s bipolar disorder, but from the telling of her father’s behavior, I can’t help but think that he had some sort of mental disorder as well. He was very cruel. Nonetheless, to have two “disturbed” parents, it’s a wonder this author and her family could find any “normalcy.” I am from Colorado and some of the locations brought back memories for me. I was stunned by some of the similarities of our lives and just that time period. This is an amazing memoir. Very well-written and unlike most memoirs, there isn’t any downtime that you have to wade through. I highly recommend this book even if you come from a well-adjusted family. I hear they are out there.
I just finished this book and it brought about a spectrum of emotions. I even cried which is a feat unto itself. I felt parts of this book were just too painful to read, but I persevered and I am glad I did. I hope this book brought some comfort to the author and her family and to others who may also have a family member with a mental disorder. She focuses on her mom’s bipolar disorder, but from the telling of her father’s behavior, I can’t help but think that he had some sort of mental disorder as well. He was very cruel. Nonetheless, to have two “disturbed” parents, it’s a wonder this author and her family could find any “normalcy.” I am from Colorado and some of the locations brought back memories for me. I was stunned by some of the similarities of our lives and just that time period. This is an amazing memoir. Very well-written and unlike most memoirs, there isn’t any downtime that you have to wade through. I highly recommend this book even if you come from a well-adjusted family. I hear they are out there.
April 13, 2019
I read this book in a few sittings because it's so engrossing and beautifully told. Young Judith starts out life as a nice Jewish girl in a well-to-do Denver household, but behind the curtains, dysfunction is brewing in the form of her lovely mother's increasing bipolar illness and her father's inability to cope kindly with his world being shaken. Judith and her siblings suffer the fallout, and Judith takes drastic steps to thrash her way to the freedom she needs to discover her own path in life. Many years later, her world comes full circle as she becomes closer again to her beloved mother after her father's death. She's forced to reckon with her own mental health diagnosis, and by understanding her family's array of health issues, she comes to healing and understanding that we can all relate to.
April 9, 2020
These days sanity does seem elusive, doesn’t it? When culture itself slides beyond the bounds of sanity we forget what it was to grow surrounded by insanity, to find our own way through a world with broken parents. “Reckless Steps Toward Sanity” is brutally honest and it takes us to that hard place with a young girl, follows with her as she finds her own way through the morass that her home becomes into the wildly complex and changing world of values that were the sixties in Denver, the chains mascarading as freedom
It’s an era and location I am familiar with, and Judith took me some uncomfortable places within myself. Those moments that could have gone so wrong and didn’t, those moments that did go so wrong, and how we go on. How healing and hope has a place and time, then and now. Good, solid read of a life and time, with seeds that bring us today.
It’s an era and location I am familiar with, and Judith took me some uncomfortable places within myself. Those moments that could have gone so wrong and didn’t, those moments that did go so wrong, and how we go on. How healing and hope has a place and time, then and now. Good, solid read of a life and time, with seeds that bring us today.
September 24, 2019
I just finished this memoir, and it is everything I think a memoir should be. At once riveting and honest, Judith Sara Gelt portrays her childhood, her struggles and those of her parents and siblings with sensitivity and love. She doesn't hold back: difficult incidents, missteps, feelings or memories most of us would prefer to repress -- all is represented with beautiful prose as we come to know Judith and her family. Writing can often be therapeutic, and one has the sense that it has helped the author understand her life and her choices, but what strikes me most is the wisdom the author has gained and now generously shares with her readers. It's a tale that reinforces my view of the indefatigable human spirit. I look forward to more from this author.
April 15, 2020
Gelt is brave beyond belief. Her careful examination of every detail of her life, from storybook early childhood, to the devastating mental illness that ensnares her mother, enrages her father, and cripples young Sara's emotional development is not only disturbing, but frightening. As the mother of daughters, I cried for this girl and her struggles, and at times wanted to shake her for making some unwise choices. I cheered her bouyancy, rued her risky behaviors, and sighed when she finally, husbands later, rooted out her own challenging mental illness. More than anything, I appreciate the difficult obstacles she overcame in her life and in the writing of this powerful memoir. I laud her honesty, and fearlessness. The language is powerful. The story is gripping. An unforgettable read.
November 26, 2019
The book was a terrific read, engrossing, sad with "OMG" moments. A little bias, I knew Judith in High School. We both went to Metro State College at the same time. I married another high school member and lost touch of Judith after HS graduation.
The story locations are fresh in my mind, as I grew up a block away from the hospital that helped Judith get her life back. The final chapters during the loss of parents is in my life today, so it helps to hear we all must help our parents in their later years.
Thanks "Judy"
The story locations are fresh in my mind, as I grew up a block away from the hospital that helped Judith get her life back. The final chapters during the loss of parents is in my life today, so it helps to hear we all must help our parents in their later years.
Thanks "Judy"
July 15, 2019
This is a very engaging read about a young woman’s brave, painful separation from her dysfunctional family as a high school student and the difficult, unpredictable journey that followed as she chased after dreams of a healthy, independent adult life. She is unflinchingly honest about the role mental illness played in her upbringing as well as in her own life and family. I highly recommend this moving book!
July 28, 2019
A must read book. It is a heart-wrenching story about a young girls survival through a family plagued with mental illness, emotional abuse and unavailable parents. Ms. Gelt was an amazing teacher and showed up every day for her students. After reading this riveting memoir, I wonder how she had anything left in her bucket to give. She was so inspiring to me in 8th grade and after reading her book I am even more in awe of her bravery today!
August 12, 2019
This page-turner of a memoir reads like the best fiction. I was surprised—sometimes breathtakingly so—by the twists and turns in the author’s life. Teen runaway, sex worker, survivor of rape, and a home life besieged by severe mental illness. Reckless, yes. Beautifully written and thrilling, absolutely.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 17, 2020
Recently had Ms Gelt as speaker for our book club. We all connected with her as she shared insights into her story. Well written, honest, funny. Makes one remember what poor decisions one made early in life, risks taken and outcomes. Recommend her for your book club. She is also a Denver native. Fun, interactive meeting we all enjoyed!
July 11, 2019
This book was gripping. The writing is excellent. It reads like a novel - I couldn't put it down. Judith came to our book club and answered questions openly and articulately. It was the best book club we've ever had!
June 16, 2019
Reckless Steps Toward Sanity is a riveting, insightful, assiduously honest, can’t-put-it-down memoir about family, trauma, and redemption in an uncertain world.
February 20, 2020
I have read just about every mother/mental illness memoir you can imagine, and this one was very helpful in its exploration of familial trauma and sadness.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews